Author Topic: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
jcb231pluto 
Registered: Apr '04
6196_Jabba the Hutt
Date Posted: 5/2/04 8:38pm Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
Sorry, the first part of my post was addressed to Vortigern...his cut was removing the pod race and coruscant chase. Yours wasn't.

I want more of Scar's cut!!!! That rocked!

 

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Turkilma 
Registered: Jul '01
6420_Mandalorian Patch
Date Posted: 5/3/04 4:55pm Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film! - Date Edited: 5/3/04 4:56pm (2 edits total) Edited By: Turkilma
What a great thread !

I read through all the pages in one sitting !

Many great suggestions by Vortigern99, ShaneP and Scarr1106 (and all the others too, of course) !!!

@ Vortigern99

EXT. TATOOINE--DESERT MESA

A PROBE reports to DARTH MAUL. MAUL mounts his speeder bike and races toward Mos Espa.

[NOTE: INSERT DELETED SCENE of Q-G striking down the other SITH PROBE. DO NOT INCLUDE ANI's farewell to JIRA. Simply CUT TO:]

EXT. MOS ESPA--STREET

ANI and Q-G walk along the street. Q-G sees a SITH PROBE and bisects the device with his saber.

ANI/Q-G: What?/Probe/unusual/not seen before/Come on!

EXT. TATOOINE--DESERT--ROYAL STARSHIP

ANI and Q-G run toward the Naboo craft.


I think it could work better if you arrange the scenes this way.

- DELETED SCENE (without Jira, I agree)
- PROBE DROID reporting DARTH MAUL
- ANAKIN & QUI GON running

Can´t wait for the continuations of ALL the re-edits !

Keep em comin !

Great stuff !


 

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Turkilma 
Registered: Jul '01
6420_Mandalorian Patch
Date Posted: 5/10/04 6:06pm Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
bump

 

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jcb231pluto 
Registered: Apr '04
6196_Jabba the Hutt
Date Posted: 5/10/04 11:50pm Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
I think this is the best of all the Phantom Menace threads.

 

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The_2nd_Evil 
Registered: May '04
15576_Anakin
Date Posted: 5/11/04 6:12pm Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
Well, I like both TPM and AOTC, but I like the changes you've made. And it's just fo fun. Right. Right?

 

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Darth_Orgazmo 
Registered: Sep '03
14721_Biggs Concept
Date Posted: 5/21/04 10:08am Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
Since we're discussing editing changes to be made to Phantom Menace, here are the changes I made to TPM for my edit, "Balance of the Force"(pased from a thread back in January).

>>
First of all, I changed the title and the crawl itself.
Title: Balance of the force (to differentiate from the 1,000 edits out there and I just liked the name better)

The crawl gives a little more exposition to the Galactic Republic, the role of the Jedi, and also identifies the federation as the Neimoidian Trade Federation, to identify their species, also rather than trade routes, it is prohibition of slave labor that makes the Federation seize Naboo.

The Neimoidians, and Gungans are dubbed into their own languages and subtitled and through liberties in the subs, I addded many new layers to the plot.
Also droids speak in the dialect of the person they are addressing. TC-14 addresses the Viceroy in his language, but the Jedi in theirs as do the battle droids.
Jar Jar was banished from the Gungans because he was in charge of guarding a relic of theirs' the Kyber crystal (an old idea of George's), he slacked off and it was stolen by humans... As such the gungans also have a bitter hate of the Naboo, which is a new little subplot throughout (the racial tension was in early drafts of the script, but dropped).
The whole subplot was introduced to give Jar Jar a history and explain that big glowing ball that Padme gives Boss (Governor - in the edit) Nass.
Jar Jar is still a putz, but he's toned way down. He's just arrogant and always says the wrong thing at the wrong time.

The Federation has invaded Naboo and want Queen Amidala to surrender the people of Naboo to the Federation as an alternative uncompensated labor force as revenge for Naboo being instrumental in the outlawing galactic slavery. So, while seeing Anakin as a slave, Padme is also faced with the possibility of herself and her people becoming slaves themselves.

The opening third is slightly resequenced for pacing, moving one Sidious/Fed scene to earlier in the film to break up a long series of successive Gungan scenes. It also serves to quicken the pace (don't worry, it causes no continuity error in the film).
The only major scene to be cut entirely is the second underwater scene, which was replaced by the waterfall scene to change up the scenery and quicken the pace.
The Greedo scene, probe droid scene, dawn before the race scene, and air taxi scene were all also tightened up and integrated into the film.
There are no fart or poop jokes in the film.
There are no midichlorians.
There is no immaculate conception discussion... Anakin's origins are left vague... A child who is gifted and a vergence in the force.
Anakin's annoying friends are trimmed to a minimum.
The Trade Federation are much more sinister through the subtitles, ordering Padme's companions shot instead of processed, and discussing the mass executions vaguely hinted at in the film.
The attempt was to make Gunray more of a straight up bad guy in the film, ala Tarkin, rather than a bumbling oaf.
Through some creative manipulating of frames, a few scenes have been expanded with lines not in the original film, using audio outtakes.
Sidious has a new line, Watto has several, as do Gunray, TC-14, Rune, and Jar Jar.
In one such case, the reason for Jar Jar accompanying Qui-Gon on Tatooine, instead of any of the trained soldiers, security captains, or the Jedi Knight onboard is also explained... The Queen thinks he is stinking up the ship and orders him to go. (as taken from an early draft of the script).
Some of the film has been rescored to include hints of the imperial march.
Anakin's dialogue in general is tightened... No yippes, whoas, etc. The "are you an angel" scene is tightened as well. The scene is still there, but it comes off quicker and more casual.
Also, I cut his dream about freeing the slaves, if he can see things before they happen, then that should have happened later in the prequels... It doesn't.
The pod race has been scored entirely and re-edited from the ground up using all available footage. It was tightened and trimmed, but footage from the deleted scenes was dropped in also.
Jabba's cameo was dropped, but during Qui-Gon's scene with Watto discussing the hutts, a subtle hint of Jabba's theme from RotJ was added to the scene. I thought it was better to hear about them through the whole saga but never see one until the very last film (I'm not counting that SE scene). It works better artistically.
Also, the pod race announcer is only in 1 or 2 shots and his lines are minimal and the english speaking announcer is dubbed into an alien dialect.
Also, through the subtitles, Anakin is actually an accomplished pod racer who has once beaten sebulba. Sebulba retaliated by flashing his vents at anakin and destroying his pod... This race is round 3... The tiebreaker of sorts.
Anakin destroys the Federation ship through skill, not screwball antics.
Qui-Gon asks Obi-Wan to train Anakin, but never makes him promise. Obi-Wan is also more defiant in his talk with Yoda near the end of the film. He also insists he is ready to face the trials without any prompting from Qui-Gon, again supporting the whole headstrong thing...
Also, Darth Sidious' face has been darkened signifigantly beneath the hood, to make him less recognizable as Palpatine, at least until late in the film.
"Wipe them out... All of them!" has a whole new meaning...
There's also a lot of subtle trims here and there for snappier dialogue exchanges and dramatic tension.
By going through and trimming 5 frames here and 10 frames there, rather than lopping out entire sequences, all of the film's original sequences (except 1 - cut for redundancy) are preserved, plus all of the deleted scenes are integrated, and yet the film slides in just under a 2 hour run time.
There's actually a lot more that I'm sure I'm forgetting, as this edit took a long time to do, but I just wanted to list it as an example of what could be done without reshooting the film.
If anyone here wants to check it out, drop me an email at magnoliafan78@hotmail.com.
Before anyone freaks out, I'm not selling it or anything... but if anyone genuinely wants to check it or "The Clone War" (my version of EP II) out, I'd more than happy to make a few people dvd-rs in exchange for their opinions after viewing it.
Since there seems to be a pretty large number of people interested in seeing the film overhauled, I figured I'd offer.
Obviously, if I get a hundred emails or something, I'll have to rethink this, but a few should be no problem.
And to address the coming flame, I didn't make this edit to replace George's vision... It's the same exact story... From a certain point of view.
>>

 

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Scarr1106 
Registered: Aug '01
6194_Gamorrean Guard
Date Posted: 5/21/04 2:46pm Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
Some solid changes and edits, Orgazmo. Making Anakin a champ instead of the underdog is a new one to me. Very interesting. I'd read the Kiber Crystal take in one of the rewrites that has floated through here over the years; kudos if you made it work in your re-edit. Clarifying Gunray's villainy is another plus, and of course in general I think most of are in agreeance about the fart jokes and whippees. Where did you find the audio outtakes for Amidala?

And hopefully no flames are coming; this board has been pretty good about maintaining the "just for fun/sake of argument/editing exercise/healthy discussion" attitude so far.

 

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Turkilma 
Registered: Jul '01
6420_Mandalorian Patch
Date Posted: 5/22/04 3:21am Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
@ Darth Orgazmo

Very interesting read ! cool

How did you create the Alien languages and what programme did you use to rescore certain scenes without losing the sound FX ?

 

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Dark_jedi-angel16 
Registered: May '04
19542_Anakin Concept
Date Posted: 5/24/04 1:23pm Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
i'v just started reading this and i got to say this is an interesting idea. it would never would have occured to me to combined the two movies into one.

 

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ShaneP 
Registered: Mar '01
13763_ESB Poster
Date Posted: 6/25/04 4:01pm Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
Up. happy

 

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ShaneP 
Registered: Mar '01
13763_ESB Poster
Date Posted: 8/14/04 11:46am Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
....and up again. happy

 

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Scarr1106 
Registered: Aug '01
6194_Gamorrean Guard
Date Posted: 8/20/04 7:46am Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
Haven't forgotten this project, have just been uber busy with the new jobby-job, new girlfriend, etc etc.

May actually start working on an actual, honest-to-goodness version of this soon (abusing and misusing office computers and equipment is a time honored tradition after all)

Much of what I originally posted is still the plan (haven't looked back at it for a while, and lost notes in PC crash--the reason the initial outline was never finished)

The plan, when I actually get to work, is to work in chunks, hitting the aras that will need most tinkering for my version to come across: The Naboo invasion (as outlined earlier in this thread) then the climax, (primarily culled from AOTC, working on the flow of the battle and duel), then Tatooine (the main area where footage from the two films intersperse).

If and when any of this actually gets done, I will keep the peanut gallery (as it were) posted.



Anyone else still thinking about or working on these projects?

 

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Rebel11_38 
Registered: Jan '05
18626_Boba Fett
Date Posted: 2/7/05 10:04pm Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
I had this idea about 9 months ago and thought I was the first to consider doing something like this.

This is definetly a project that I am interested in. Does anyone know what the status of it is?

 

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Wesyeed 
Registered: Feb '05
14018_Blue Yoda
Date Posted: 2/8/05 4:31am Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film! - Date Edited: 2/8/05 4:36am (2 edits total) Edited By: Wesyeed
This sounds like a fun and challenging editing experiment. I'm eager to hear how it works out as well.

Makes you think what it would be like to make the PT more like the OT with no such talk of midichlorians, more talk about a past, and the 'less is more' theme that GL reluctantly had to put up with during the OT'S production.

Maybe when he makes the SE of the new trilogy, he might consider making similar changes. Who knows, he might have shot some new scenes for AotC or TPM already. *wink*
Very interesting. <---fragment.

 

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Jedi_Ford_Prefect 
Registered: Jun '03
20059_The Senate
Date Posted: 2/8/05 5:36pm Subject: RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
...wow. Just...wow.

Thank goodness there's no such thing as a "Critic's Cut", or a "Fan's Cut". This is just...jeez.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go create my own edit of "Fanny and Alexander". I'm aiming for about forty minutes, because that's the only material that's necessary.

 

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"The first Trilogy will not be as much of an action adventure kind of thing. Maybe we'll make it have some humor, but right now it's much more humorless than this one...a little more Machiavellian - it's all plotting - more of a mystery."
Lucas in 1982
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