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Topic:
The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
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Scarr1106
Registered:
Aug '01
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Date Posted:
3/10/04 7:17pm
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
- Date Edited:
3/10/04 7:25pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Scarr1106
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And here, Act Three, where as many talking/meeting scenes as possible have been cut  This is a big act importance wise, as our three main characters finally meet. A note: As this is now seen as the first of three films, I have worked in these proposed cuts to lessen the severity of some of this trio's relationships, to alow for growth in what would be the remainder of the triology, and given that some, myself included, felt that these character's relationships ecolved too fast and too much offscreen. But enough bashing.
So when last we met, Padme was watching the Bibble transmission en route to Coruscant:
ACT THREE: Coruscant
-Padme’s ship lands on Coruscant.( nice TPM flyover of Coruscant w/o Anakin and Olie commentary, splice in Lieutenant rpeorting apporach to Padme from beginning of AOTC, cut as landing so people on platform stay as random dignitaries)
-Padme demands help from the Senate; Palpatine adjourns. (cut any TPM Palpatine from this scene, start Senate scene with TPM Padme reporting attack on Naboo, interruption and outrage, then use AOTC Palpatine adjourning from deleted Senate scene)
-Jango gives Zam her assignment and the kouhouns. (omit mention of attack on platform)
-Obiwan and Anakin joke in the elevator en route to Padme. (introducing our two "heroes" for the first time as good friends already with a history before the film)
-Obiwan and Anakin report to Padme; Padme express doubts. (nix meeting JarJar, trim some of Anakin's creepier lines, better to let the budding romance later; again, I'm big on there being a previous continuum before the film began, and really like that there is a previous history between these characters that is much better left to, say, the EU)
-Anakin discusses his nightmares with Obiwan while assassin droid releases kouhouns. (smartly done scene interspersing politics and cool sequence, while setting up mother background; might do some good to trim after Anakin's "I'd much rather dream about Padme" to make his pursuit of her a little less stalkerish and give Obiwan less reason to worry)
-Anakin barely stops kouhouns from killing Padme; Obiwan leaps onto assassin droid.
-Obiwan almost falls to his death; Anakin catches him. (some of Obiwan's dangling and Anakin's chasing could be cut to tighten the scene; in fact you shouldn't see ANakin after Obiwan's jump until he catches him)
-Anakin and Obiwan chase Zam’s speedercar across Coruscant. (judiciously cut to reduce animosity between Obiwan and Anakin and remove bad puppetry, while still getting cool overview of Coruscant; gets a cool mention of Yoda without seeing him...as it should be  )
Anakin takes a short cut then leaps onto Zam’s speeder. (again, careful with Obiwan's grumpiness, and thismay just have been me, but cut some of ANakin's falling time to seem less like flying)
Anakin damages Zam’s speeder; they crash onto the street below. (trim changeling moment, cut Anakin losing his lightsaber; a running gag that doesn't work for me, and slows down transition to:)
Anakin and Obiwan follow Zam into a nightclub.(only change here would be trim thrown-in "changeling" line so it reads as it originally did "I think he's a she.""Then be extra careful.")
Obiwan gets a drink, reforms Sleezbaggano, and disarms Zam.
Obiwan and Anakin start to question Zam, but Jango kills her first with a poison dart.(trim bad morph on Zam)
Obiwan and Anakin receive orders from Mace to investigate and protect. (truncated version by removing Yoda (it can be done) establishes Mace as the big Jedi bossman, otherwise I would have cut it to be honest, almost everything in this scene is covered elsewhere; with some creativity this scene could be filled out with some of Mace and KiAdiMundi's dialoigue and shots from TPM's council scenes, especially regarding "the queen" and "her attacker"; NOTE: trim end of line "homeplanet Naboo" to just "homeplanet"--it's the assertion of this edit that Naboo is still under Federation control and thus they are going to hide elsewhere: Alderaan, thus setting up ALderaan as the ultimate hiding place in the galaxy)
*****BIG NOTE****The Palpatine/Anakin conversation, while one of my favorite scenes in the prequels so far, just seemed unnecessry here with the invasion of Naboo followed by the assassination attempt, and the removal of the debate for an army in the Senate: there's no reason for her to need to be ordered to go. ******** **********************************
-Padme angrily packs to go into hiding and doesn’t like the way Anakin looks at her. (much edited to eliminate JarJar, reduce melodramatic tension between Anakin and Obiwan, and end with beginnings of Anakin/Padme flirtation and Anakin's fun "roguish"side showing)
-Obiwan sees Anakin and Padme off as they board the refugee ship with Artoo. (nice send off, love Typho's line about who to worry about)
And onto Act Four...later!
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Scarr1106
Registered:
Aug '01
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Date Posted:
3/10/04 7:20pm
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
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And many thanks for the kind words, Vort and Sami. Vort, this thread is still your baby, and I'd love to see what else you had in store.
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Scarr1106
Registered:
Aug '01
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Date Posted:
3/11/04 7:10pm
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
- Date Edited:
3/11/04 7:11pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Scarr1106
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Why not? Here's Act Four.
But first, a slight edit to the last act ( I miss back when you could always go back and edit your own posts; sometimes I don;t even look back at these things in 90 minutes) The last three scenes of Act Three should have gone:
Padme angrily packs to go into hiding and doesn’t like the way Anakin looks at her.
Obiwan visits Dexter and learns of Kamino. (they've just referred to Obiwan's investigation underway, and why should he wait until they're gone before getting it going?; a slight trim in the middle to avoid redundancy in dialgue)
Obiwan sees Anakin and Padme off as they board the refugee ship with Artoo. (and our group is split off)
And NOW, onto Act Four
-Obiwan can’t find Kamino in the starcharts and gets no help from Jocasta. (first hints of a traitor are laid)
***NOTE*** While I like the idea of the shipboard scene en route to Padme's homeworld, it's never played well for me. Some flipflopping of the sequence could shape it into sonmething I'd like to use, but for now, it's omitted.
-Obiwan discusses implications of conspiracy with Mace before taking off for Kamino. (restoring the deleted scene, albeit trimmed to remove references to The Chosen One, so as to keep Yoda out of the movie, and also reiterates plot point of someone erasing the databanks without Yoda's childling scene; yeah for deleted scenes! also, reaffirms Mace's importance as Obiwan's superior)
-Anakin and Padme arrive on her homeworld. (bits an pieces to establish arrival, no mention of no longer being the Queen though, NOTE: just in general regarding Padme's homeworld: as stated earlier, it only works in this cut as a seperate world i.e. Alderaan; unfortunately, much of the geography is similar (since they are originally the same planet); one can only assume Alderaan colonized a very similar planet or the Republic chose Padme to represent a planet very similar to her own, or that most planets that support humanoid life are temperate grasslands)
-Anakin, Padme, and Artoo are greeted by Padme’s nieces. (restoring Padme's deleted family scenes reinforce her as this cut's main protagonist, and restore some of the everyday life aspect of the homestead from ANH)
-Padme introduces Anakin to her parents and sister before dinner. (again, restoring this deletion gives a domesticity and reality to the character that exists outside any function to the plot)
-Obiwan arrives on Kamino and is greeted by TaunWe. (the storm planet, a great set piece)
-Padme’s family discuss Anakin as he walks with Padme’s father. (the family sees what was only hinted at by Padme's brusqueness to Anakin earlier)
-Padme shows Anakin her room and pictures from her youth. (again, another great background scene restored from the deleted scenes, giving Padme some pathos)
-Obiwan meets with Lama Su. (necesary exposition)
-Far beneath the raging sea lies the cloning complex (inserting a shot of the bubble city Otoh Gunga from TPM, to give even more depth to the storm planet)
-Obiwan tours the cloning facility at length.(trimming bits of dialogue here to exclude some of the Trekkie babble and the whole clone Boba as Jango's payment thread, which IMHO is cumbersome and unnecessary)
The clone troopers prepare for deployment. (magnificent, aren't they?)
Obiwan meets Jango. (great tension in this scene, a little tightening could go on, but nothing major)
Anakin and Padme have dinner together. (the prelude segment to the infamous fireplace scene, by itself is a nice bit of flirtatious interchange with some Force work and the introduction of "agressive negotiations)
Padme tells Anakin about her first love. (only regret is that this is in grassy knoll; it the only Naboo as Alderaan scene that really looks like the Naboo scenes from earlier; depending on time, the "horseback ride" can easily be cut, and probably should, as the end of the first half's dialogue would lead well into:)
Anakin and Padme share a first kiss, which Padme regrets. (a great climax ot the building of tension between the pair, what was in AOTC one of their first scenes, when shifted works incredibly better)
Taun We sees Obiwan off. (skillfully done, moving this scene and hacking off the transmission leads straight into:)
Obiwan confronts Jango as he tries to flee; they battle on the landing platform but Jango escapes. (so it seems like Jango is really rushing to escape, and Obiwan comes running as soon as he sees him)
Obiwan reports to Mace before going after Jango. (necessary so someone knows about the clone army, but has to be butchered to eminate Yoda and is otherwise superfluous; if there was another way, I would do without it, but for now it's the best I can do)
And that's all she wrote for tonight Comments are of course welcome.
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Obi-WanKenobi715
Registered:
Jul '02
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Date Posted:
3/12/04 9:01pm
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
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I don't think the first two prequels should be cut into one film. I think they work better as two edited down films instead of one immensely edited film, but anyway, some editing suggestions.
Today when I was watching the arena scene in AOTC. I think Mace's entrance in the arena takes too long and could be sudden, plus his "This party's over" line always felt off.
Here's my idea for an edit.
After Dooku assures the Viceroy, "Patience Viceroy, patience, she will die." Cut to Mace igniting his saber at Jango's neck and then his line, "I don't think so." Then cut to the droidekas rolling out and the Jedi igniting their lightsabers and cut back to Dooku's line, "We will see." Then super battle droids are attacking Mace and we've cut 20-30 seconds and a hokey piece of dialogue.
In TPM, Anakin's goodbye to 3PO should be cut. Anakin's happy go lucky attitude takes away from the drama. The scene of Qui-Gon delivering the hyperdrive could be cut and it removes Obi-Wan's rude comment. Cut Anakin's goodbye to the Queen. You can remove Jar Jar's antics from each section of the battle and retain it's effectiveness. Especially the lengthy sections where he accidently releases the glowing blue orbs and then ends up hanging on to the tank, all of this can be cut. Just take the shot of Jar Jar being shot off that creature, which is so quick you can't really tell if one Gungan is on there or two, and go straight to Jar Jar and Captain Tarpals landing on the ground and being surrounded.
If you add Padme's first family scene, I always thought a few quiet notes of Across the Stars would work when she's looking out the window.
Just some suggestions. I'll provide more when I think of them.
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fosh-bantus88
Registered:
Oct '03
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Date Posted:
3/14/04 11:18pm
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
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hey, vortigern, i had an idea for a kinda alternate aproach.
why dont you make aotc the real story, and have about 30-40% of the movie be a flash back to TPM. it would be like the godfather part II, and anakin would have the part of micheal corleone, being the one who is looking back at the past.
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Rebel Scumb
Registered:
Feb '99
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Date Posted:
3/15/04 4:43pm
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
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This is an interesting idea, but I'm not sure how you will account for the large passage of time between ep1 and ep2, which cannot be compressed due to Anakin becoming a new (and much older) actor.
I'd be very curious to see the fruits of your labour when this edit is complete.
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ShaneP
Registered:
Mar '01
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Date Posted:
3/17/04 1:27pm
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
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fosh-bantus that's what I'm attempting with mine.
I considered lack of flashbacks in the saga and lack of flash-forward and determined I liked flashback better dramatically.
Scarr1106 nice work. Good ideas.
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Vortigern99
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered:
Nov '00
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Date Posted:
3/17/04 8:13pm
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
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Stolen moments on the computer at work keep me from commenting much or adding to the proceedings. However...
I just read Scarr1106's Acts Two and Three (on previous page). Good heavens this stuff is good. What impresses me the most is that every scene is up for grabs in any scane or context--it's just brilliantly manipulated and re-arranged. My one fear is that all the "judicious cutting" of characters and "it can be done!" assurances will collapse of their own mass. Is Scarr1006's cut a viable, "doable" version of the films? Maybe not...
...but it sure makes a great read! Now on to Act Four...
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"I knew from the beginning I was not doing science fiction.
I was doing a space opera, a fantasy film, a mythological piece,
a fairy tale."--George Lucas
My "Vader's Origins" thread:
http://boards.theforce.net/Classic_Trilogy/b10002/8708417/p1
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gezvader28
Registered:
Mar '03
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Date Posted:
3/18/04 11:55am
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
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I'm starting to think that the best way to do this would be reduce TPM to a couple of flashback scenes in AOTC (someone else suggested this a bit earlier, tips the hat).
I know flashbacks go against the SW style , but ...
The only essential things in TPM are:
1. Anakin leaving his mother, we have to see that cos it's important emotionally, and relates to his wrath in the Tusken scene, which is his first step into the darkside, and that's what it's all about.
2. Maybe a moment where he remembers meeting Padme , but not that awful "are you an angel" bit.
3. er... what else is essential from TPM?
g
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ShaneP
Registered:
Mar '01
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Date Posted:
3/27/04 10:28am
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
- Date Edited:
3/27/04 10:30am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
ShaneP
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gez, hahaha! Got stuck on three did ya?
Yeah, I thought the same thing the other day. We have to meet Shmi and see her prior to the Tusken slaughter.
We have to have Padme and Anakin meet too as that sets up their "meeting" in AOTC.
There are a few scenes with Palps and the senate too, but they possibly could be re-cut into AOTC.
I think perhaps a few Obi-Wan and Anakin shots are needed also.
How would we handle the villains though?
Sidious? Maul, etc?
Developing......
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ShaneP
Registered:
Mar '01
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Date Posted:
4/16/04 12:24pm
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
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Up! 
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jcb231pluto
Registered:
Apr '04
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Date Posted:
4/20/04 9:44am
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
- Date Edited:
4/20/04 10:03am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
jcb231pluto
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If your goal is to create a more exciting film, why are you cutting so many action sequences?
I for one like the bounty hunter chase on Coruscant. I also like the Pod Race.
And Scar!!! We need more!!!! Your cut rocks!!!!
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Scarr1106
Registered:
Aug '01
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Date Posted:
4/20/04 10:23pm
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
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Thanks for the kudos, pluto, and my apologies for my absense. Finals are rapidly approaching, as is my long delayed college graduation, so haven't had much time to myself lately. But when I get a chance, I'll post more.
And all uses of the word "judicious" are henceforth banned from my vocabulary
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jcb231pluto
Registered:
Apr '04
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Date Posted:
4/29/04 9:40pm
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
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hoping if I pop this up there will be an update!
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ShaneP
Registered:
Mar '01
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Date Posted:
4/30/04 10:59am
Subject:
RE: The "Vortigern Edit": help me cut TPM and AOTC into a single film!
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pluto
If your goal is to create a more exciting film, why are you cutting so many action sequences?
I for one like the bounty hunter chase on Coruscant. I also like the Pod Race.
Who has said they're cutting action sequences?
My cut has the Coruscant chase during the Coruscant sequence and the Pod Race is split in two parts.
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