IC – Luke Skywalker Luke strode across the room, igniting his lightsaber. He hoped the stormtroopers on the other side of the far door wouldn’t hear him coming.
OOC: Boy, this is turning into a nasty situation, huh? IC – Luke Skywalker Luke strode across the room, igniting his lightsaber. He hoped the stormtroopers on the other side of the far door wouldn’t hear him coming.
OOC: Boy, this is turning into a nasty situation, huh? IC – Luke Skywalker Luke strode across the room, igniting his lightsaber. He hoped the stormtroopers on the other side of the far door wouldn’t hear him coming. TAG: Game Master
Group Captain William "Striker" Stryder (Telling the reader which character this particular RP is about is a good idea. Also note that ranks, when addressing a person, are capitalised. However, you are not "promoted to Admiral", you are "promoted to admiral". However, you will refer to Admiral Tyarr as, well, Admiral Tyarr, not admiral Tyarr. Also, I really hope I don't need to tell you to capitalise people's names.) Starfighter Docks, SSD Knight Hammer - Imperial Center (Telling the reader the setting is a good idea, too.) Clang! (You don't need to italicise onomatopoetic words, but it's always good to do so) Several curses floated up from the ion engine of the TIE Defender and the owner of the expliciate phrases appeared rubbing the top of his head and holding a hydrospanner in another hand. "Stupid machine." Striker (Some RPers make character name bold, but this is optional) scolded the inanimate vessel. "Having problems with your TIE, Captain?" A female Chiss asked from the walkway to his left. She wore the black uniform of an Imperial (Imperial, Rebel, New Republic etc are all proper nouns. Capitalise them.) pilot with the green piping along the shoulders and down the arm, identical to Striker's uniform. "Yeah. It's fighting the improvments I'm trying to give it." He jested and tossed the hydrospanner into the toolbox and wiping his hands clean of most of the grease. The ace pilot climbed the ladder to the walkway and joined Shawnkyr. "I wanted to congratulate you on your promotion." She said once he had joined her on the walkway. "You mean re-promotion." (Emphasised word italicised) Striker leaned against the railing of the walkway and gazed his blue eyes on the female. She was tall, well-fit, and slightly masculine from working out with weights. Shawnkyr probably could pin down and hold a full grown man on her own. The thought and studying his friend almost made Striker want that to happen to him. (In the name of God, paragraph your RPs. Please, I beg of you. When the subject changes, make a new paragraph. It chops your RP into digestable chunks; a big block of text is intimidating, paragraphs are not.) If Shawnkyr caught his look, she made no indication that she did. Instead she continued the conversation as if he had not looked at her any other way other than as a friend and fellow soldier. "Do you get to keep it this time or will someone else make you a Wing Commander again?" (Another time to put things on a new line is during conversations. Do as Mitthy does when characters talk to each other.) "It's permanent this time. Though I would have preferred the rank of Major." "Why are we here?" She asked him. "In the Known Galaxy or the Knight Hammer (Yay, italicised!) itself?" "Both." "Well for starters you guys followed me back." William answered and shifted his position on the railing so that his back faced his TIE Defender (Do not italicise ship models, like TIE Fighter. Do, however, italicise ship names, such as ISD Invincible) and he stared out at the other rows of Imperial starfighters. "I returned because I thought it could help boost my career. And I thought perhaps upon returning I would be engaged in dogfights against the rebellion. But with the cease-fire, doesn't look like it'll happen any time soon." "You did not hear the latest transmission from Mon Mothma?" "What transmission?" He asked curiously. "Apparently we attacked Brentaal (Planet names are proper nouns. Capitalise them.) and they are beginning to retaliate. So the cease-fire is off." Shawnkyr answered calmly. "Good."
Zaarin held the blaster right up to his temple. "I dislike your attitude. Please provide the answers I have requested." TAG SuperJedi999999
IC – Ar’kalis, Jedi Knight Ar’kalis gritted his teeth, sensing the evil atmosphere around the door. He was not born yesterday. Sith Lords hardly ever left their caverns open for business – and an ancient Sith trick was to hide evil inside innocent surroundings. He had learned much of such constructions over his life. Crouching, the Jedi peered closer at the activation plate, searching for anything out of the ordinary about the ancient steel plate. Saying a little prayer, he pressed the activation plate and, when the door had swung open, advanced slowly through the doorway. TAG: GM
IC – Ar’kalis I go thru door. TAG: GM
Saintheart posted: Credits Many thanks to Winged_Jedi, Ktala, LightWarden, DarthXan318, AdmiralZaarin, Dark_Enigma and LightSide_Apprentice for their contributions to this article, which I have unashamedly ripped up and re-edited as I see fit in my own egotistical way.
Saintheart posted:I was going to go the old 'i.hada.field', but you have to keep it comprehensible...