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Author	Topic: The Game Designers Guild
Sinrebirth Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 12/29/07 3:30pm Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild
	Sent. I'm quite impressed that I managed to put something together so quickly. Looking forward to this, I am. -----signature----- On reduced time until June Available mostly on Tuesdays Send the love PMs to Ulicus now - I'm engaged! The Missing Chapters of LotF: Invincible: Chapter 5.5 Up! http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28933751&brd=10477&start=29297240
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Darth_Brutus666 Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 12/29/07 9:14pm Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild
	Mine is Sent right now....I hope mine is good. -----signature----- Minister of Ewoks for the SWC Rebel Alliance OHIO STATE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!! SWC Ambassador to the EUC Senate Jedi Council Member in the NJT AIM: DARKLORDFRANCIS
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Imperial_Hammer Title: Manager: • SWRPF • NSWRPF • RPR Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 12/29/07 10:55pm Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild
	Alrighty! We've gotten 4 submissions thus far... Any last ones you got floating out there, get 'em in to me by the end of the day tomorrow... All the best! -I_H -----signature----- Guildmaster of the GDG Now looking for a new RPF Adoptee The Jedi Way is something found within, not in the dead walls of any Order
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Darth_Brutus666 Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 12/30/07 12:06pm Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild
	When will the results be posted? -----signature----- Minister of Ewoks for the SWC Rebel Alliance OHIO STATE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!! SWC Ambassador to the EUC Senate Jedi Council Member in the NJT AIM: DARKLORDFRANCIS
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SephyCloneNo15 Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 12/30/07 12:50pm Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild
	Entries'll be posted whenever Imp has time (hopefully not too long after the deadline). They'll be anonymous, and after usually a week(-ish) of discussion, Imp'll swoop down and make his critique and announce winners. -----signature----- Member: GDG, GMG. Sub-GM: CDG Zam Wessel Lives! Recipient of Thrawn McEwok's Squib Creations Limited-Edition Replica Glove of Darth Vader™ "Samuel L. Jackson isn't only a fine actor, but a gamer. He's one of us." ~ Kotaku
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Darth_Brutus666 Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 12/30/07 6:58pm Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild
	Oh Ok -----signature----- Minister of Ewoks for the SWC Rebel Alliance OHIO STATE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!! SWC Ambassador to the EUC Senate Jedi Council Member in the NJT AIM: DARKLORDFRANCIS
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Imperial_Hammer Title: Manager: • SWRPF • NSWRPF • RPR Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 12/31/07 11:35pm Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild - Date Edited: 12/31/07 11:37pm (2 edits total) Edited By: Imperial_Hammer
	And now... the submissions for contest #7 But first, as always, rules and such for your orderly enjoyment... This week will be a critiquing and opinion-forming phase. What this means is as follows: So now with this post, you will have all the info I have to make a decision. And as the judge, it comes down to me to make the ultimate call as to which one is the best... But I'm not one of those authoritarian judges, I like to see what others think too... So when you see these games and you want to make a comment, go ahead and do so... I'll be reading them all and taking everything into consideration, weighing it all to make my decision. ALSO: 1.) Keep the game designer's names anonymous. I don't want this to become a popularity contest. 2.) Of course, keep everything TOS friendly 3.) Trrrrry to keep things constructive and 4.) You don't have to remark on all the games... just which ever ones you want to touch on. To the posts! NOTE: HTML Roughly duplicated by me, Imperial_Hammer Mercury Submits:* Velvet Trail August 7th, 1850; Ft. Vancouver, Oregon Territory "Ain't seen you in a while," Lucy Cole spoke as she poured a shot of whiskey for the man seated on the opposite side of the bar. His dark brown cowboy hat was tilted forward so that she could barely make out the lower sacks of his eyes, and his worn face sported a full beard that any man of masculinity would be proud of. "You look good," the man said, then proceeded to let the whiskey slide down his throat in a single gulp, emitting a sigh of refreshment as the sting of the drink satisfied his thirst in a second. "See you've kept busy." Lucy felt her concealed stomach, which had grown quite large over the past few months. Apparently it'd become noticeable, but the man before her was the first to ever mention it. "Well the world don't stop when you leave it, Dylan." "Didn't say it did, Mrs. Cole, just makin' conversation if you don't mind." He set the shot glass down and poured himself another. Lucy ignored Dylan's previous statement. "So why'd you come back then?" "Help." He took another drink of the sharp whiskey, and tipped his hat to a particularly pretty woman who walked noticeably close by him as she exited the saloon. "Word says there's some sort of secret treasure down in Utah worth thousands. I aim to find it." "Uh-huh," Lucy replied in a voice that exuded monotony. "Shoulda known it had somethin' to do with money." "Man's gotta make a livin' somehow." Dylan set his glass down, and when Lucy reached for the bottle of whiskey to pour him another shot, he waved her off. "I gotta get goin'. Supposed to be meetin' the interested parties at two, and I reckon it's about thirty 'till. Not to mention the fact that Slade and his boys are already a day ahead of me." "Derek Slade? Dylan, what the hell are you thinkin', racin' the Slade boys to find God knows what in Utah? You got a death wish?" "If death wants me, it'll get me, one way or another. Might as well be rich when it does." And with that, Dylan McRae set a coin on the bar and left the saloon, out into the heat of the day where the sun never stopped shining. 1850. A year full of outlaws and bandits roamin' the western portion of the young United States of America. As the number of these men and women has remained steady, a rumor has sprung up amongst the townsfolk considerin' a tomb of jewels in the southern area of Utah territory that is said to be worth thousands of dollars. 'Course, this ain't no small price, and leadin' the search for this mystical treasure is the notorious outlaw Derek Slade, known for his supernaturally quick draws and his irresistable charm amongst the ladies. Though he comes across initially as a genial fella, Slade is anything but. He's a man with a past, and he's willin' to kill anyone who gets in the way of what he wants. Especially someone like Dylan McRae, another bandit who has begun to search for the fabled tomb. As Slade and his crew press on to Utah, McRae heads to Fort Vancouver in Oregon to enlist help of anyone who wishes to claim a piece of the pie. And with sheriff patrol heavy in Utah, and a number of criminals and citizens alike also lookin' for the treasure, Dylan's gonna need all the help he can get. So whaddya say? You wanna saddle up and ride? The choice is yours to make. Overview: Velvet Trail is a Western-themed roleplaying game set in the year of 1850 in which you will take your character on a journey in western United States to find a fabled treasure worth a fortune to anyone who dares to find it. You will interact with other characters and make decisions throughout the journey based on the world that I will set up for you as we go. You will encounter myriad NPCs, both against you and for you, that will help shape your adventure, such as corrupt lawmen, escaped slaves, seductive women, and so forth. As a member of Dylan McRae's gang, you will have access to food, water, shelter, and weaponry as you travel. Also, though there is an overarching plot to this game, please feel free to shake things up with romance, sidestories, chance encounters, etc. Other than that, have fun, obey the rules, and we'll all have a good time as we go. Rules: 1. The TOS must be obeyed at all times. 2. Correct spelling and proper grammar is imperative. Please be sure that you have corrected any typos you may have made, as it will make life easier for anyone reading while making you a better roleplayer. 3. Please do not spam, bait, or use any other method of thread derailment. 4. This game will progress in a realistic manner. Please do not create characters you envision as invincible, for they will not be treated as such. 5. Character sheets must be PMed to me for approval BEFORE posting. 6. Let's have a good time, shall we? Character Sheet Format 1. Name: If you like, you may use an alias for your character. 2. Gender: 3. Age: Shake things up here if you want. 20-30 year olds aren't the only people looking for riches. 15 and 70 year olds are just as welcome as 30 year olds. 4. Appearance: The more elaborate, the better. Pictures are also welcome. 5. Notable Possessions: If you have a horse, carry weapons, etc., this is the place to put 'em. 6. Backstory: Again, the more elaborate, the better. You don't have to write a novel, but at least give me a paragraph of info on your character's history. 7. Miscellaneous: Any other information you feel is relevant, including personality, skills, habits and traits, etc. 8. Plot Seeds: DO NOT POST THIS SECTION IN THE THREAD! This part is between you (the player) and me (the GM) only. Do you have any plot ideas or ways your character could interact with the plot? Maybe your character has a hidden motive to be revealed later, or perhaps you would like them to exemplify bravery in a heroic fashion. I might not approve everything you suggest, as there is an overarching, yet malleable plot that it could potentially conflict with. But I'm definitely open to suggestions, and will do my best to accommodate you. That's it! Thanks for reading, and I look forward to roleplaying with you all. *Venus Submits:* (For all GDG members - the MacGuffin is an ancient fleet of Star Destroyers The Apotheosis Fleet From The Great Insurrection, by Janik Herrad ...Positively spotless, free of the merest microcosm of dust: clean. Many an Imperial Star Destroyer could be described thus, and many were. Gray, bulking goliaths in the sable folds of space, Star Destroyers had been around for centuries now. To see one inspired fear and awe, and tales were told of great battles, where thousands of Star Destroyers had waged war against enemies of their might. Of course, the name of the Galactic Empire had been forgotten long ago, for there was no Empire to speak of. Only a remnant, proud but small. Two hundred years had passed since the death of the Emperor Palpatine, and a new Galactic Republic had been established in the wake of his death. It had flourished under the protection of the Jedi Order, had been protected from the Vong invasion and passed through the years in peace. And then the Insurrection came. In the year 225 ABY, a man named William Skywalker, descendant of the famed Master Luke Skywalker, seized control of the Republic through force. The coup was sudden and bloodless, perfect. Life continued - for the average citizen, it was no different than the life they'd had before. Life under William's new "House Skywalker" was no large change. The Jedi Master had done them a service, if anything, for the bureaucracy of the Republic had become stagnant and cancerous. But opinion is a funny thing. The Jedi Order had been split in two by the Insurrection. Those loyal to William stood by him, renaming themselves the Knights Imperium, Jedi dedicated to the protection of William's ''peaceful'' empire. Those who opposed fled William's "imperfect utopia", as they called it. Taking to edges of known space, they became the Knights of the True Order, living their lives in secrecy and sowing discord amongst William's regime... The Galactic Palace, Coruscant "M'lord, these radicals are becoming organized. The Siege of Dantooine was a shock to us all, but we have a chance to end their advances once and for all." William Skywalker, Protector of the Imperium, nodded his understanding. Admiral Dekall had been pushing for this operation for months. Now, it seemed, it would finally come to pass. "We've heard you speak of this before, Admiral. The Imperium is open to new ideas, especially yours, old friend." Dekall smiled, his lips curling in a wolfish expression. "Ah-h-h, sir, but this is nothing new - rather, something very, very old." Aboard the True Order command ship Rocinante "My friends, time and time again we have held back our final blow, our coup de grace on this usurper's throne." Standing amongst the assembled Knights of the True Order was the Order Master Garek Ir-Wiron, a grey-bearded man of sixty. Though old, his words and indeed, very presence had a calming effect on the assembled Knights, Apprentices, Generals, and lay soldiers that supported the True Order. "Now is our time. Now is when we free the Galaxy from an imposed monarch. Now is the time to unleash the Apotheosis." Welcome to The Apotheosis Fleet, a Star Wars RPG set in an alternate timeline of the canon saga, far after the Battle of Yavin. If you choose to join this RPG, you will take on the role of either a Knight Imperium or a Knight of the True Order - both are Force users, both products of the Insurrection that split the Jedi Order. A few rules to keep in mind: - No Godmodding. - Obey the TOS - R-E-S-P-E-C-T for all players, please. - Obey the GM or co-GM or Moderators (should any feel the need to step in). - PG-13, please. - No Auto-hitting. There we go - simple. And of course, the Character Sheet. Name: Age: Gender: Appearance: (a list, or a short description - either works.) Faction: (Knights of the True Order, or Knights Imperium) Personality: (a list of likes/dislikes/habits or a short description - again, either works) Weapons/Equipment: Biography: *Mars Submits:* Star Wars: Catacombs of Bimmiel The year is 25 ABY. The Yuuzhan Vong War will start in one week. The Galaxy is unaware of this growing terror, which will soon consume the Galaxy. But on one world there is the chance that the Galaxy may be saved. Hidden upon this world is the heritage of the Galaxy. A lone world, only recently named by the New Republic, about to be at the very centre of the Yuuzhan Vong War - and the conflicts thereafter. On Bimmiel, the next century of galactic struggle is about to begin. The New Republic does not realise it's future, but these teams of artefact hunters will have a glimpse into the Galaxies fate. But above these groups, all desparate to find their relics of past and darkness and light, remains one terror, a foe from the recent past, who wants these interlopers out of the system, and will stop at nothing to protect these secrets. It's a race against time to inherit the past and future of the Galaxy! The Factions The University of Agamar After discovering a world in the Imperial surveys made off-limits by the Empire, the University of Agamar sent a survey team to resurrect the archaelogical dig the Emperor had sponsored. Curious as to what the Sith Lord was hiding and seeking at the same time, the team, led by Anki Pace, have hired experts and bodyguards from around the Galaxy to help them with this dig. Kyp's Army A secret organisation formed by Daeshara'cor at Kyp Durron's behest, the group has been pooled from Jedi who believe that aggressive policing is the only way to save the Galaxy. Seeking Jedi relics and destroying Sith ones, one of their contacts on Agamar informed the Army about the dig, and Kyp Durron has sent a team of Jedi, mercenaries and rogues to secure any relics the Emperor may have been seeking. The Jedi Order Rumours have reached the Jedi Order of an organisation that has been aggressively stealing relics from museums and the like. These items have been turning up in the Jedi Temple with alarming frequency, and a team of Jedi and Intelligence agents has been created by Mirax Terrik and Tionne Solusar has been directed to track down the thiefs. Releasing information about the dig, the Jedi seek to trap those responsible for damaging the reputation of the Republic's defenders. The One Sith Having themselves contacts within the University of Agamar, and themselves been responsible for many raids on dig sites across the Galaxy, the One Sith have discovered that the Bimmiel digs may lead the Order to the location of Darth Vectivus' Holocron. If they can secure it for Darth Krayt, they will be able to strengthen their Order even further, and so the Dark Lord has sent an elite team to secretly infiltrate the dig. The Yuuzhan Vong Having established a forward base on Bimmiel many decades ago, the Yuuzhan Vong have a vested interest in Bimmiel over any other world in the Unknown Regions. It is from there that the Galaxy may well work out their plans and intentions, and they seek to renew contact with Mongei Shai, the Yuuzhan Vong they left behind to report on the Galaxy. Having lost contact with him for sometime, the team amassed has been ordered to locate Shai and report back, while avoiding any contact with the Galaxy. The Force In this area I have decided to use a common sense approach. I am a great believer that it is best to avoid moulding the Force into a rigid system of ‘powers’. Therefore, I won’t be doing that in my game. Use the Force as appropriate to your character. It would take a great deal of effort and experience to use lightning as effectively as Darth Sidious did, whereas powers like telekinesis are used with ease by most Force users. No Yuuzhan Vong characters may use the Force, though the University of Agamar students may use it if need be. Character Sheets Name: (Canon characters are allowed, but will be scrutinised by the GM individually) Age: Species: Gender: Appearance: Allegiance: (One of the five factions above) Weapons: Bio: The Rules Each faction has its own colours, and those are what you need to look out for when posting – the GMs will post back in these colours. The University of Agamar students are purple The Jedi are green. Kyp's Army is blue. The One Sith are red. The Yuuzhan Vong are sienna (brown). Play fair, no god-modding, follow the TOS, all the usual rules. Fun is the aim of this game, and the completion of the storyline - what dangers await the explorers? Will they find their treasures? Will they save the Galaxy? Any questions, ask away! *Jupiter Submits* Fri’es Plen’ta Disclaimer: Note that the following RP is not meant to insults anyone’s beliefs. The only people that may be offended are those who work in the Fast Food business, myself included. The World of Fastfoodia. For years the world has scene violence, with death and destruction becoming the norm. Eventually the Archian Empire drafted a Peace Treaty. At last Fastfoodia had peace. But now 200 years later violence is once again threatening the world. The Kingdom of Bur’gar, led by Kind Whopp’are IX, has begun a quest for the ultimate power. This power was in fact a city, the Legendary City of Fri’es Plen’ta. The power of this city is what caused the wars of old. As a result the leaders of the world destroyed any evidence of its existence, save for 2 identical Riddles. These Riddles if done correctly, told the location of the City. These Riddles were stored in the most powerful nations on Fastfoodia, The Kingdom of Bur’gar and the Archian Empire. The Archian Empire learned of Bur’gar’s quest. At a last ditch attempt at peace, the Archian Emperor Maccinus sends his best troops, The Knights of the Golden Arch, to reach the city first, and if necessary to destroy it so Bur’gar cannot unleash its hidden horrors. But facing the Knights are the elite Bur’gar Monks. (Like Knights Templar) This is where are story begins if you choose to answer the call. You will begin in the respected Army’s Camp along their border readying to begin their quest. You must hurry so that one side cannot gain an advantage. To those that do accept the call, good luck, peace or total victory depends on you. As you can see from the intro there is 2 nations involved. The Archian Empire and the Kingdom of Bur’gar. The Story begins on the Continent of Tac’bellia. Fastfoodia has only 2 continents surrounded by the Great Frosteen Ocean. Eventually our groups will reach the Continent of Dai’Quinia. That is where the city is supposedly at. RULES: Obey the GM, if says you die, you die. I’m Sorry, Prior knowledge will be given of your death. Obey the Mods Rules, you wouldn’t be here without their consent. Obey the TOS Nations: There are more nations, are they Friend or Foe? You will have to find out Arbania- These are Mercenaries in a region near the East Coast of Tac’bellia. They have no leader and eventually players can be Arbanians The Republic of Quiznar- A Democracy led by President Bo’Bae. It is the second largest nation on Dai’Quinia. The Principality of So’nocia- A small Seafaring nation in the north of Tac’Bellia. It is ruled by Crown Prince Smoothie The Theocracy of Subwayia- The Third largest Nation in Fastfoodia, Subwayia controls the entire southern portion of Dai’Quinia. They are led by Pope Jarod the Great The Desert Nomads of Hardia- Control the Deserts in the middle of Dai’Quinia. Led by Clan Leader Carl II Unofficial Nations: (Pirates) Long Boat Sliver- Controls the North Frosteen Ocean Captain Deecs- Controls the South Frosteen Ocean Pirate Activity unknown Map: (Map will be on Post) To Join: Name: Age: (Character must be older than 16) Gender: Nation: (More nations will be added as later, for now just Bur’gar or Archia) Weapon: (Legendary Weapons allowed (Excalibar, Moljinor etc) or Ordiniary (Sword, Lance, Axe, Bow. Magic is also allowed. But I want a description of your magic.) Appearance: Short Bio- If needed. Hidden Talents- (Doesn’t need to be posted, but GM must know. Can be revealed later.) Please PM to your Character Sheet to the GM before posting. *Saturn Submits* Sithspawn! Aboard the Star Destroyer Malient. Approximately 4 years after the events of "Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith" In the Sith Lord's private quarters on the Star Destroyer, Darth Vader pressed the 'Recieve' button on his holocomm. A gigantic, holographic bust of his master, Sidious, appeared in the center of the room. Vader fell to one knee in front of Sidious. "What is thy bidding, my Master?" the Sith's voice rumbled. "Lord Vader, I have uncovered the location of the laboratories of Nas Shuul." Palpatine's crackly voice declared proudly. "Shuul was a master of Alchemy. From the day he was crowned a Sith Lord until the day he died, Shuul tirelessly created creatures strong in the Dark Side. Shuul's creations were among the finest of any Sith: incapable of aging, remembering nothing but their unyielding service to the Sith. It was said that he could even use the Dark Side to heal mortal wounds without tying the victim to machines for the rest of their lives. Such information may still be on hand in the labs." Sidious let the statement hang. He had learned early on that this apprentice occasionally needed goading. "Although I have my doubts you will need their assistance, several of the Dark Jedi who helped us hunt down the last of the Order after the Clone Wars will be boarding the Malient and accompanying you. They are yours to command. You will take them to Arkuria, along with a legion of Stormtroopers, and recover any of the creatures or anything of Shuul's that you can find. If the Sithspawn will not make themselves of service to us, they are to be destroyed." --------------------------------------- Arkuria: Nas Shuul's Mausoleum The heavy stone door shattered to molten shards as the Detpack granted entrance to the Dark Lord of the Sith and his troopers. Several black-garbed Dark Jedi stood alongside them. A hideous creature, the likes of which the Galaxy had never seen leapt from the darkness, attempting to kill the intruders, only to be struck down mid-pounce by Vader's Crimson lightsaber. "The creatures are free," Vader noted. "Be alert." The creature's top half was still writhing. The Sith Lord grabbed it by the neck and held the thing at eye level. It stuttered and cried angrily, "You can speak?" Vader asked. "What possessions were left by your master? What has yet to be stolen?" "B-b-books," it stammered, "Holocron. Please... Kill me." Vader obliged. "There are books here, and an ancient Sith Holocron," he held up a palm-sized emitter, which showed a generic pyramidal Sith Holocron for all to see. "Find and secure the Holocron and books. Any Sithspawn still contained, secure them and prepare them for transport. Don't hesitate to kill anything that attempts to kill you." He gestured to one of the Dark Jedi, a Verpine with tattoos etched into its exoskeleton, "Let nothing leave without my permission." ---------------------------------------- Welcome to Sithspawn. In this RP, you will be playing as one of Nas Shuul's creations. The subject of Sithspawn is not a very well-documented one, which means you have plenty of freedom in creating your monster. If you aren't feeling adventurous enough to create a true monster of Sith Alchemy, an option is to play as a mostly unaltered creature, so you still resemble a humanoid and don't have to handle playing as something that no one's ever seen before. Your goal is largely a character-based decision. You have three basic options: Fight the intruders, join the intruders, or escape. Or you may join Vader's troops. This is close enough to the end of the Clone Wars that the Dark Jedi who helped hunt down the Jedi have not been executed yet, and up to five of them may be player-controlled. Or you may play Stormtroopers. ----------------------------------------- Rules: 1. Obey the TOS and all that jazz. 2. One character per person. 3. Use, to the best of your ability, proper spelling and grammar. 1337 or any other internet-lingo will not be tolerated. 4. Keep ooc chatter to a minimum, and try to package your ooc-stuff with an IC post, just so we don't have a Sithload of single-sentence oocs. 5. PM all character sheets to yours truly, the GM 6. Be creative and have fun ----------------------------------------- Character sheet: Sithspawn Name: Base: (the species you were before becoming Sithspawn) Gender: Age: Appearance: (Pictures would be extremely helpful if you have an artistic flair) Special Abilities/Features: Bio: (newer Sithspawn may not have had their memories erased yet) Imperial Name: Rank: Occupation: (Dark Jedi or Stormtrooper) Specialties: Weapon of choice: Appearance: Bio: And there you have it folks... Critique away! -I_H -----signature----- Guildmaster of the GDG Now looking for a new RPF Adoptee The Jedi Way is something found within, not in the dead walls of any Order
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Darth_Brutus666 Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 1/1/08 4:45am Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild
	I'm curious, is Velvet Trail based on the old game Oregon Trail? -----signature----- Minister of Ewoks for the SWC Rebel Alliance OHIO STATE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!! SWC Ambassador to the EUC Senate Jedi Council Member in the NJT AIM: DARKLORDFRANCIS
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Penguinator-176 Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 1/1/08 2:35pm Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild
	I really like westerns, and I love RPing them even more. I believe my vote is with Velvet Trail. -----signature----- "Good god, Peng's a mentat!" ~darthramza "In a world of hurting, I'm moving on." "Dear Mr. Queequeeg, you have been informed your life's been saved." GDG
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Reynar_Tedros Registered: Jul '06	Date Posted: 1/1/08 10:56pm Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild
	I'm with Peng, though I commend Jupiter for its creativity. Not a bad turnout. -----signature----- Take your protein pills and put your helmet on.
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Darth_Brutus666 Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 1/2/08 6:27am Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild
	Reynar_Tedros posted: I'm with Peng, though I commend Jupiter for its creativity. Not a bad turnout. I must agree with you, Jupiter's is very creative. -----signature----- Minister of Ewoks for the SWC Rebel Alliance OHIO STATE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!! SWC Ambassador to the EUC Senate Jedi Council Member in the NJT AIM: DARKLORDFRANCIS
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Darth_Vaders_cousin Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 1/2/08 5:25pm Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild
	Velvet Trail...wait I'm still a voting member right? -----signature----- Sithy, Livi, DVC, a Crime Fighting Clock Member Game designers Guild STAR WARS, 007 STYLE! --Winner of BEST NEW RPG two seasons running 007 FAMILY - Sith-I-5's Twin Bro. Logic & Reason: SVU -- Detective 3rd Grade
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Sentinel-825 Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 1/2/08 11:53pm Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild
	Venus I loved the introduction to this game. The way you explained the respect that Star Destroyers seem to inherently demand was fantastic, and really drew me in. But as I continued to read, I came to notice that the game really has nothing to do with these "bulking goliaths" or the dominant Empire that commanded them, which really begged the question, what was your purpose in making the first part of the opening post about something that is irrelevant to the RPG itself? Does the "proud but small" Imperial remnant come into play? If so, it would have been nice to show some sign of their presence other than a mere mention of their size. Also, the Insurrection threw me off quite a bit. All that was said was that Luke Skywalker's descendant, William, seized control of the Republic. No elaboration on how exactly he managed to do that was given. I find it difficult to believe that one man, regardless of his surname, can usurp an entire galactic Republic that had "flourished under the protection of the Jedi Order, had been protected from the Vong invasion and passed through the years in peace." It can stand up to an invasion from a species as dangerous as the Yuuzhan Vong, but suddenly collapses by will of one man? It's odd. Also, why did Mr. Skywalker do such a thing? What were his motives for taking over what seemed to be a peaceful and prosperous order? A mere desire to lead? This brings me to another issue - The split of the Jedi Order. The Knights Imperium remained loyal to William Skywalker, while the Knights of the True Order fled. Why do these two factions disagree, and what issues do they disagree on so much that they would sever such a binding tie as being a Jedi? What makes William's "peaceful empire" such an "imperfect utopia" to them? What makes William's new regime a peaceful empire in the first place? Something as significant as the Jedi Order splitting up warrants a bit more explanation. If I'm a potential player looking at this game, I'm not going to enter into something that I hardly know anything about. Okay, this guy took over, this faction is loyal and this faction is not. That tells me a fraction of what I feel I should be aware of. Perhaps it was the deadline that resulted in what appears to be a game that was put together as quickly as possible with not nearly enough thought put into it. If you take time to flesh it out, to make clear the ideals of these two factions, then you may have something interesting on your hands. Mars I'll start here with the opening post, specifically the first three sentences. "The year is 25 ABY. The Yuuzhan Vong War will start in one week. The Galaxy is unaware of this growing terror, which will soon consume the Galaxy." To me, that is far too monotonous and redundant. It offers no level of intrigue to the reader as Venus' opening did, which makes me wonder if potential players would even bother to keep reading. The rest of the introduction really does not improve, and I spotted a few grammatical errors as well. Also, I was a bit lost while I was reading this. What exactly is the significance of Bimmiel? That it was home to an Imperial dig site? Surely there was more than just one of these during the Empire's reign. What makes this one so special that five different factions would travel to it in hopes of discovering some important piece of information? It doesn't add up. Again, your game suffers due to the same reason as Venus' - Lack of explanation and elaboration. Players want to know what they're getting themselves into, and if an opening post doesn't supply that type of knowledge, what are they going to do? Nothing. Jupiter I'm probably overthinking this game, but aside from the creative yet superfluous fast food chain references, you don't seem to have a compelling RPG here. The opening post is very convoluted, jumping from one thing to the next with little to no explanation. What makes Fri'es Plen'ta such a powerful city that it caused years of violence and death amongst a world? Plenty of fries? Also a little more explanation on the two primary factions would have been helpful, such as why they are fighting each other for a city that, again, you've told us nothing about. Another aspect of the game that has a prodigious lack of explanation is the world itself, Fastfoodia. In a fictional world such as the one you've created, you need to establish what type of world it is, be it futuristic with lasers and flying cars, modern, or even ancient, with swords and arrows being the primary tools of war. This also results in players not knowing how to develop their character sheets. Do they put their characters in skin-tight leather with utility belts or simple loincloth? If you take time to flesh this game out, I really think you can extract something great from the idea. It's a fertile and innovative premise with unfulfilled potential thus far. Saturn This game is my favorite of the bunch. The opening has a sufficient amount of detail and intrigue with an outstanding and underused premise as its foundation. The motives of the Empire are clearly outlined in the beginning, and the first confrontation with a Sithspawn is well-written and interesting, which sets up the rest of the story well. A game well made that I would participate in, given the chance. -----signature----- All too easy.
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witchdoctor187 Registered: Aug '07	Date Posted: 1/3/08 12:46pm Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild
	Hello, i'm new to the GDG, but i drop in from time to time to se what is happening. and i must say that seeing this makes me want to become a member. so if you guys will accept me then i would very much enjoy that. And i don't knwo if my opinion counts, but i really like Velvet Trail. a solid RP with a solid plot. i would very much like to see it put out there on the Non-SW board. thanks.
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witchdoctor187 Registered: Aug '07	Date Posted: 1/3/08 6:17pm Subject: RE: The Game Designers Guild
	on a side note, and this is the onyl thing i find wrong with it is that maybe you should date it around the time after the civil war, since that is when msot westerns take place. so date it around 1867-1870 or more. so it can give players the chance to build on to their backgrounds with the events of the civil war. i must admit that i have already started my CS and i used the events of the civil war in my characters CS. but that is the only part of the RP that is see that needs improving.
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