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Author	Topic: The Character Designers Guild
Yuul_Shamar Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 2/18 1:58pm Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild
	This is probally a stupid question but how do I join? -----signature----- "Your power over others only relates to those who fear you. Look into my eyes, fool, and see no fear."-Darth Shadra, in response to the dread lord Delano Most Eager Newbie - Spring RPF awards 2008 Most Eager GSE Player! Sith Lord! Watch out! John 3:16
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LightWarden Registered: Oct '01	Date Posted: 2/18 3:19pm Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild
	You join by stating that you're a member, there's no initiation or prerequisite signature armbands or whatever. If you're in, you're in, if you're not, you're not, and there's no real difference between them in terms of how they're treated. -----signature----- CDG Guild Master Strange how one small thing can determine the fate of so many... especially if it's a twenty-sided die The Internet is SERIOUS BIZNESS! It's all fun and games until someone loses a leg. TF.N RPGs: Less fun than pretending to have sex
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-Crack- Registered: Feb '08	Date Posted: 2/18 5:35pm Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild
	I'm going to follow suit with those guys, and join. I'm Simon, by the way. New to the forums, as my registration date makes painfully obvious. -----signature----- I like how it feels to not feel. I know the feeling.
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Despised1 Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 2/20 10:58am Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild
	Howdy Simon. So....no scathing critique? Here I thought I would have some solid feedback to work off of, oh well....I'll take that to mean I just created the best CS ever known to these forums. -----signature----- ~Sith Loyalist~ "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" "Someday, someone will best me. But it won't be today and it won't be you." "Eventus stultorum magister!"
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-Crack- Registered: Feb '08	Date Posted: 2/20 3:39pm Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild
	Okay, well, I will try my hand at critiquing. Although, this isn't really a critique of your character sheet has, but what it lacks. I think with the information provided it is hard to really saying anything against it. It is well put together and it makes sense, but, perhaps the fact that it has no biography, is what I see wrong in it. In my opinion, without the biography it is harder to assess the character as whole. -----signature----- I like how it feels to not feel. I know the feeling.
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Chukles38 Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 2/20 3:43pm Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild
	I noticed that as well, though I figured that you planned to attach a bio at a later date. So far, the sheet looks pretty sweet... although I did just skim it. le tme read it more indepth when I have time, and then I'll try to tear it apart or something for you. -----signature----- v Knights of the Old Republic 3: Triumph of The Force--A fanfic v http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28554381/p1/?0 "My driving is Edward's, but my car is Bella's." ~ Me
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Yuul_Shamar Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 2/24 8:42am Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild
	Well ion that case I'm joining lol -----signature----- "Your power over others only relates to those who fear you. Look into my eyes, fool, and see no fear."-Darth Shadra, in response to the dread lord Delano Most Eager Newbie - Spring RPF awards 2008 Most Eager GSE Player! Sith Lord! Watch out! John 3:16
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LightWarden Registered: Oct '01	Date Posted: 2/24 11:33pm Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild
	Lest someone think my silence constitutes approval, might as well speak up. Firstly, I've been having problems trying to remember where you swiped the images from, as I'm fairly certain I've seen them before but can't remember. My best guess at the moment is Arthas from Warcraft and maybe Jade Empire or an MMO like Guild Wars, but I'm not certain. I'm also kind of confused as to why a guy who's acknowledging his own weakness calls himself Paragon, but whatever. Seems a little like setting yourself up for another wannabe to take you down. As to Beloris Prime, Fanon usually needs some sort of descriptor, since I have no idea if "Belorian" is like saying "Corellian", or if it's a completely different species. I will give you props for stating that your character can be misguided and egotistical, since I'm all for people who admit to character flaws. But I'm going to have to agree with the others in stating that you really didn't give us anything to work with. You haven't put much of it together. What's his interest in the Sith for? Knowledge for the sake of knowledge? Some weird version of Tionne or Jocasta Nu? Looking for the "Win" button? Trying to resurrect his dead lover? Just trying to fix himself? Though, it's not really a weakness if you can compensate for it (in case of the telepathy), so unless his Ewok name is "Sings with Machines", I don't really see the problem. Though come to think of it, I don't even know what era this guy is from, or what his status with the Sith is. In other news, the question "how do I join?" has been asked (and answered) three times on the same page. Reading comprehension is awesome. -----signature----- CDG Guild Master Strange how one small thing can determine the fate of so many... especially if it's a twenty-sided die The Internet is SERIOUS BIZNESS! It's all fun and games until someone loses a leg. TF.N RPGs: Less fun than pretending to have sex
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SephyCloneNo15 Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 2/25 12:13am Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild
	Light, it's a miracle your cynicism and biting wit don't frighten off our new acquisitions. -----signature----- Member: GDG, GMG. Sub-GM: CDG Zam Wessel Lives! Recipient of Thrawn McEwok's Squib Creations Limited-Edition Replica Glove of Darth Vader™ "Samuel L. Jackson isn't only a fine actor, but a gamer. He's one of us." ~ Kotaku
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Chukles38 Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 2/25 8:52am Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild
	sniff, sniff Fine, I'm leaving. Just kidding. -----signature----- v Knights of the Old Republic 3: Triumph of The Force--A fanfic v http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28554381/p1/?0 "My driving is Edward's, but my car is Bella's." ~ Me
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Sinrebirth Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 2/26 9:18am Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild
	More miraculous is when we come back for more wittiness... Name: Traer Lin Age: 63 Gender: Male Species: Human Appearance: Shoulder length brown hair, dull blue eyes, medium height, thin and slightly pale skin. Schooling: Tapani Techno Union Academy, Imperial Tapani Academy Personality: Intense, almost obssessive, virulently anti-Imperial, a keen mind that relies purely on economy, the humanity almost entirely removed. Bio: Born to a wealthy merchant family, he was content to remain in that position working for the Techno Union. When it was dissolved and he was forced to reapply to become a merchant under the Empire, he was rapidly reduced to a slave, simply because he happened to work for a side which lost the Clone Wars. When Tapani sector sided with the Rebels after Endor, he climbed the social ladder rapidly as one who the Empire had persecuted. He bore no Imperial ill-will, however, knowing from his own experiences that was simply a cycle. In 6 ABY, however, he met Cesca Kya, and when she, incredibly loyal to the Empire even when the Clone Emperor devastated the galaxy, left him and their 3 year old son in 10 ABY, he rapidly became fixed with revenge upon her, championing anti-Imperial policies. Manipulating shipyard rivalry between Fondor and Tallaan, he used the typical Tapani pride to suggest the sector deserved two Senators, and he quickly gained the Tallaan seat. -----signature----- Sey's Sinre The First Canon Apologist The Missing Chapters of LotF: Invincible http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28933751&brd=10477&replies=10 Chapter 4.5 is up! Now Featuring: Niathal, Daala, Syal, Wedge, Winter & Tycho!
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Kev-Mas_Colcha Registered: Dec '02	Date Posted: 2/26 9:50am Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild - Date Edited: 2/26 9:52am (1 edits total) Edited By: Kev-Mas_Colcha
	Hey, Sinre, how is he 63 with Brown hair? Does he dye his hair? Well, anyways, here's my latest version of my character. Please forgive the long bio, it was copy/pasted from the Wiki Article. Name: Kev-Mas Colcha Date of Birth: 31 BBY Gender: Male Species: near-Human (Human/Chiss Hybrid) Appearance: -Height: 1.85 meters -Eye Color: Red -Hair Color: Black Weapons: 2 Red Lightsabers, the Force Personality and Traits: A Control Freak of sorts, yet excels in Leadership Positions when given the chance. Kev-Mas is rash at times, and tends to let his temper get the best of him. However, Kev-Mas has an outlet for his anger, and that is simply training and meditation, as well as combat when necessary. Goals: Seeks balance the force, even in death, by creating a Legacy. He believes that by balancing the force, he will gain true happiness. Skills and Talents: Kev-Mas is a skillful practitioner in Lightsaber Combat and the Force, as well as being adept at Piloting and Tactics. He employs the hybridized form he developed from Forms V, VI and VII, Kakure Fungeki, to great effectiveness. Kev-Mas, also is highly skilled in the use of offensive Force Powers, such as Force Lightning and Force Destruction. He uses these talents in areas that are more combat oriented to hunt down those who he believes will or are causing an imbalance in the force. Biography: Jedi Training Kev-Mas, found easily by the Jedi on Coruscant, as it was the same planet where the Jedi Temple resided, began his training as a Jedi at an early age. He, however, was not the best Jedi, and struggled with many things, including Attachment, Anger, and Frustration, which were labeled as Dark Side feelings. Nonetheless, he was a great asset to the Jedi on the battlefields of the Clone Wars, where he had won the Republic countless battles as a mere Padawan, and as a Child too. Jedi Purge However, Kev-Mas’ career as a Jedi ended when he was 12 years old, and a Jedi Padawan. He fell a victim to the lure of the Dark Side, after being converted by the Imperial Inquisitorius, after being found as a Purge Escapee. Additionally, he was ordered to find and kill his Master as his first mission, a test of loyalty. He proved to be faithful, tricking his Master into thinking he was still on the run, as a Jedi, and stabbed him in the back – literally. Inquisitorial Career, and Revelation in the Force Shortly after the destruction of the first Death Star, Kev-Mas had proven to be quite a successful Inquisitor, ascending to the rank of High Inquisitor over the past 19 years. Kev-Mas, later came across a Jedi Master, who, could harness the Force as a whole. Obviously, Kev-Mas tried to kill him or capture him, however, he proved to be too difficult. Kev-Mas, beaten and bruised, his will to fight crushed, asked this Jedi how he had been able to harness both sides as a whole. He replied, mysteriously, “In time you will know too,” and then vanished. Redemption 5 years later, Kev-Mas Colcha was no longer tied to the Empire, after the Inquisitorius was dissolved with the Battle of Endor. 6 years after that, Kev-Mas, still consumed by the Dark Side, still having feelings of hatred towards the Jedi for abandoning him, was confronted by Luke Skywalker, who broke his connection with the Dark Side, by cutting off its fuel. In a ferocious duel, in which Kev-Mas was obviously not prepared for, was told that it was he who abandoned the Jedi, and he forgave him for his actions on their behalf. Not listening at first, Kev-Mas continued on the fight, advancing on Luke, who simply, deflecting all of his blows, knocked him down to the edge of a cliff. Kev-Mas, holding on for dear life, crying out for mercy, telling Luke, “You were right! I have failed the Jedi, and I long for my redemption!” Hearing these words, Luke levitated Kev-Mas off of the ledge, and healed his wounds, then taking him to the Jedi Praxeum on Yavin IV. Kev-Mas, was a new man. He was grateful to Luke, and the new Jedi, and elevated them above the Old Republic Jedi, openly expressing his beliefs, “that some things are best started anew.” He continued his training, from right where he left off prior to his falling to the Darkside. Becoming a Twilight Jedi However, 1 year later, Kev-Mas disappeared, after receiving a vision with a telepathic message from “an old friend”. He instructed him to go to Dagobah, to meet him, and “begin training in what he had asked 11 years before.” Immediately after that, he decided to go to Dagobah, to see this mysterious person. Why he had chose to contact him, nobody knew, but, when he got there, the man’s identity was revealed to be Dade Leviathan, who said he was older than Yoda himself, however not looking like it. He told Kev-Mas that he, was a Grandmaster of a new order, The Twilight Order (as this was prior to 133 ABY, when the Order was rearranged into Templars), focusing on using both the Dark Side and Light Side through Balance. Kev-Mas had informed him of his ties to the Jedi, and he, chuckling, realizing Kev-Mas was not his former self, invited him to join as a Grey Knight of the Order. Appearance of an old Comrade The next day, he received word of a Dark Jedi and former fellow Imperial Inquisitor, Roshian Hrabek, who was spotted on Dagobah, in close proximity to the Training Academy. He was to exterminate him, or possibly turn him, and eliminate the possibility of Galactic Exposure for the Twilight Order. Roshian Hrabek: "You made a costly mistake by turning your back on the Dark Side, old friend." Kev-Mas Colcha: "You are mistaken. I now serve the Force, not some made up name for a certain portion of it, and it has rewarded me with unrestricted access to its power." Roshian Hrabek: "How can I get this power?" Kev-Mas Colcha: "If its power you seek, then you will fail - however, if you agree to my terms, I will teach you how to harness it for good." - Roshian Hrabek and Kev-Mas Colcha The two engaged in a ferocious lightsaber duel, in which Kev-Mas came out victorious, not because he killed the Dark Jedi, but an even greater feat than that - he turned him into his new apprentice. Attack of the Phantom After Kev-Mas turned Roshian to his side, the new apprentice revealed to him that there was a larger threat at hand. He had "imbued" the Ancient Sith Spirit of Dargor Banai into a Force Crystal, and upon the turning of Roshian, the newly "reborn" Sith Lord's Apprentice, he began sending Force Phantoms out across the planet, forcing the Twilight Order to do something about it. He and Roshian was granted special oversight over this crisis, and Kev-Mas was granted the rank of Silver Knight. Finally, he came to the source of the Phantoms, Dargor's Fortress on the Black Mountain. Dargor looked like a Phantom himself, as well, due to having no actual corporeal body. The two had to kill him by shattering the Force Crystal in which he was contained, of which Kev-Mas later on destroyed the fragments completely, making sure that his Dark Energy in the remaining fragments could not be used for a Darksider's Lightsaber. Or, making sure that, even worse, he couldn't be pieced back together again. From that, he was granted the title of Grey Master, and continued his and Roshian's training peacefully with the Twilight Order. Other Obligations However, after that, he informed the Council of his ongoing obligations to the New Jedi Order, and he was allowed to continue his service to them as well, as long as he took extra precautions to avoid exposure. He maintained a busy life, going from Yavin IV to Dagobah or Zonama Sekot and back frequently, to check up on the two orders he belonged to. -----signature----- Kage Umbris of the Templars of Twilight (as Kev-Mas Colcha) Jedi Master of the Jedi Order (as Kexx Mazinn) http://kevmascolcha.twilightmainframe.net/links Colcha/Mikaru '08
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SephyCloneNo15 Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 2/26 11:39am Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild
	So, Sin, Rebel dude and Imperial chick fall in love despite their differences and conceive a child, then Imperial chick decides she's too Imperial for Rebel boy and ditches them for the Remnant, casing Rebel boy to swear his revenge? Don't you think that's A) a little unlikely and/or B) a little cliche? Kev, I might get to your sheet if I don't skip my boring class where I don't do much other than surf the internet... -----signature----- Member: GDG, GMG. Sub-GM: CDG Zam Wessel Lives! Recipient of Thrawn McEwok's Squib Creations Limited-Edition Replica Glove of Darth Vader™ "Samuel L. Jackson isn't only a fine actor, but a gamer. He's one of us." ~ Kotaku
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LightWarden Registered: Oct '01	Date Posted: 2/26 11:42am Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild - Date Edited: 2/26 11:50am (1 edits total) Edited By: LightWarden
	Damn it Kev, how do you keep managing to come back with more problems every time I critique this character? Species: near-Human (Human/Chiss Hybrid) No Different species do not breed, and it is only fanboys trying to sex up their character sheets who tell you otherwise. -Eye Color: Red Just wear colored contact lenses. Personality and Traits: A Control Freak of sorts, yet excels in Leadership Positions when given the chance. Kev-Mas is rash at times, and tends to let his temper get the best of him. However, Kev-Mas has an outlet for his anger, and that is simply training and meditation, as well as combat when necessary. If you're going to give your character a flaw, then don't spend the rest of the sentence talking yourself away from the flaw. Let the players/readers/other characters make the decision for themselves. Goals: Seeks balance the force, even in death, by creating a Legacy. He believes that by balancing the force, he will gain true happiness. I have yet to find anyone who can tell me what that cryptically vague "balance to the Force" means. It's a prophecy, and it seems like a bit of philosophical sophism on account of the fact that anything that happens can be justified with that argument. Killing Sith? Bringing balance to the Force. Killing Jedi? Bringing balance to the Force. Making Jedi Babies? Bringing balance to the Force. Eating Jedi Babies? Bringing balance to the Force. Dancing Naked in the Moonlight? Bringing balance to the Force. It's usually the code word for "making the universe fall in line with my own philosophical beliefs." If you've got a different approach, by all means, enlighten me. Just don't toss that played-out buzzword around as if I'm supposed to know what it means. Kakure Fungeki Damn it. When using multiple forms, the correct answer is to consider it your own personal way of doing things. The incorrect answer is to punch a few words into an English-to-Japanese translator and elevate to the pantheon of the forms when you're just mixing up a few elements of the previous forms. Your character can be arrogant enough to name your own way of doing things with Wapanese extravagance, but don't assume the rest of the galaxy needs to give a damn about it by smearing it with the thin veneer of legitimacy. on the battlefields of the Clone Wars, where he had won the Republic countless battles as a mere Padawan, and as a Child too... 12 years old Ok, this is weapons-grade stupidity, right here. When you're twelve years old and on the battlefield, you (and the people who put you there) are completely insane. Child Soldiers: not nearly as cool as you'd think. He fell a victim to the lure of the Dark Side, after being converted by the Imperial Inquisitorius, after being found as a Purge Escapee. Additionally, he was ordered to find and kill his Master as his first mission, a test of loyalty. He proved to be faithful, tricking his Master into thinking he was still on the run, as a Jedi, and stabbed him in the back – literally. If you were killing people on the battlefield at twelve, I think you may have had some mental slippage before the Purge. As far as I know, one of the fun things about war is that despite what you see on TV, most people (by which I mean maybe 70%+) have a natural aversion to killing people (and being killed in return), which is why we have such fun things like propaganda campaigns (to dehumanize the enemy in every way possible) and weapons that make it easier to wipe people out. Anyways, if you put people on a battlefield for an extended period of time, they tend to develop methods that allow them to function well as soldiers. And if you're at the age where you're normally just learning how to function, those coping mechanisms may make it so you're a complete wreck off the field. Anyways, you might want to go on a bit about what exactly it was that helped you fall, because right now this is just an exercise in convenience since you're switching from winning side to winning side (a fact that's not about to change in the rest of the bio. You'd think that after three betrayals, people would start questioning his loyalties). came across a Jedi Master, who, could harness the Force as a whole. Like the whole "balance" thing, it might be better if you actually explained what you mean by this. Because all I'm hearing is "Jedi with lightning". Kev-Mas, holding on for dear life, crying out for mercy, telling Luke, “You were right! I have failed the Jedi, and I long for my redemption!” Hearing these words, Luke levitated Kev-Mas off of the ledge, and healed his wounds, then taking him to the Jedi Praxeum on Yavin IV. That's probably one of the more stilted displays of remorse I've seen, especially since you seem less concerned about what you've done to others, and more concerned about saving your own armored behind. and elevated them above the Old Republic Jedi ??? However, 1 year later, Kev-Mas disappeared And I thought I had a problem with commitment. The next day, he received word of a Dark Jedi and former fellow Imperial Inquisitor, Roshian Hrabek, who was spotted on Dagobah Well, that was quick and convenient. If he's on Dagobah (yet another one of those heavily-visited mudballs that no one cares about) and right next to the academy, wouldn't it be better just to bum rush him with a few others? Even if they were testing you, you'd think they'd put someone on backup who's capable of putting this guy into the ground in case you failed. cue stilted conversion speech cue stilted conversion cue new boss fight cue random promotion LightWarden asks "Why you?" Victory Cue another promotion He maintained a busy life, going from Yavin IV to Dagobah or Zonama Sekot and back frequently, to check up on the two orders he belonged to. Well, aside from the obvious running theme that he's incapable of dedicating himself to serving something completely, I'm wondering how exactly you manage to get to Zonama Sekot when the planet has a habit of moving around (and it just sounds like the usual bout of coat-tail riding). So in conclusion, I'm disappointed in you, since for every step forward you immediately took a step back. -----signature----- CDG Guild Master Strange how one small thing can determine the fate of so many... especially if it's a twenty-sided die The Internet is SERIOUS BIZNESS! It's all fun and games until someone loses a leg. TF.N RPGs: Less fun than pretending to have sex
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Sinrebirth Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 2/26 12:21pm Subject: RE: The Character Designers Guild
	SephyCloneNo15 posted: So, Sin, Rebel dude and Imperial chick fall in love despite their differences and conceive a child, then Imperial chick decides she's too Imperial for Rebel boy and ditches them for the Remnant, casing Rebel boy to swear his revenge? Don't you think that's A) a little unlikely and/or B) a little cliche? In part. The difference being that Traer never sided with the Rebellion before Operation Shadow Hand. He was enslaved, and then climbed the ladder. Not a Rebel. A CIS worker. I meant to include a line that she fell in love with him because he reminded her of all the good things the Empire had represented, in his kind nature, dedication to peace without vengeance, and the like. Whoops. I made Traer pre-breakup pretty accepting. He didn't hate Imperials until Cesca, because he knew that it'd continue the cycle of violence; Empire hates Seppie, Seppie becomes Rebel, Rebel hates Empire, Empire hates Rebel, so on and so forth. That's a naive and noble guy. Then she breaks his heart, and he loses it a little. Pretty cliched, one could suppose. And, Kev, 60 = 40 in SW. So his hair wouldn't be white or require dying, one would imagine. -----signature----- Sey's Sinre The First Canon Apologist The Missing Chapters of LotF: Invincible http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28933751&brd=10477&replies=10 Chapter 4.5 is up! Now Featuring: Niathal, Daala, Syal, Wedge, Winter & Tycho!
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