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Topic:
humor - umor (general) :)
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Chantal
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
3/12 11:02am
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
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Hehe, Miss Teen Philippines answers a simple question:
http://www.glumbert.com/media/msphilippines
-----signature-----
… We are such stuff
As dreams are made of, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
(The Tempest, IV, 1, 17)
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Chantal
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
3/13 3:43am
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
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Doamne fere si pazeste! Astea tre sa fie unele dintre cele mai tari chestii ever:
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/
Te indoi de ras. La unele poze, nu-ti vine sa crezi ca e real si astfel de oameni exista. 
Check the Hall of "Fame". 
-----signature-----
… We are such stuff
As dreams are made of, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
(The Tempest, IV, 1, 17)
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SVAndrei
Title: Co-CR FF Romania
Registered:
Nov '04
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Date Posted:
3/13 10:14am
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
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Imi plac comentariile. 
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"What do you mean they blew up the Death Star?!"
Member of Fan Force Romania.
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arapila
Registered:
Jan '05
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Date Posted:
3/14 3:18am
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
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SVAndrei posted:
Imi plac comentariile.
hahahahahahahahaha.. tare postul, andrei
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bla bla bla
Love is in the air!
doar in Ocna Mures
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SVAndrei
Title: Co-CR FF Romania
Registered:
Nov '04
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Date Posted:
3/14 6:46am
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
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arapila posted:
SVAndrei posted:
Imi plac comentariile.
hahahahahahahahaha.. tare postul, andrei
Da' ce am zis?! 
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"What do you mean they blew up the Death Star?!"
Member of Fan Force Romania.
Cookie!
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ROGUESQUAD
Registered:
Oct '04
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Date Posted:
3/17 4:42am
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
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Sondajul s-a realizat azi, pe un esantion reprezentativ din arealul urban in statiile de metrou Armata Poporului, Eroilor, Unirea 1 si 2, Universitate, precum si pe traseul Armata Poporului – Eroilor – Unirea 1 si 2 – Universitate, in vagoanele de metrou puse la dispozitie de sustinatorul acestui demers sociologic, Metrorex. Pe aceasta cale ii si multumim pe suportul oferit.
Sondajul realizat a relevat urmatoarele :
1. Intre orele 7.00 si 8.00 pleaca la servici « textilistele » si « zidarii ». Aceste doua categorii se pot recunoste dupa spiritul de « gasca », « turma » sau « gramada cere varf ». Sunt unul/unele calare peste altii/altele. Stau cu caciulile/basmalele/broboadele infipte pe cap si vorbesc tare si la gramada. Subiectul preferat : « ce ma-ta mare imi pui mana pe c#*, ba, p%$#&!^*!@ » sau « mai intreaba ma-ta de mine ? ». Parfumul preferat este « Negru de fum no. 5 » sau « Properspirant ». Muzica preferata : maneaua ascultata la telefonul mobil sau « glasul-rotilor-de-metrou-atarnata-de-bara-in-timp-- ce-motzai ».
2. Intre orele 08.00 si 9.00 pleaca la service “corporatistii”. Se pot recunoaste prin ochii bine tapetati cu rimel si somn. Nici un fir de par nu sta aiurea. Imbracaminte inchisa la culoare, predomina alb-negru. Femeile au fuste peste genunchi, barbati camasi si cravate cu nod gros. Ochelarii de vedere sau de « fenta » sunt clar dreptunghiulari cu colturile rotunjite si rama inchisa la culoare. Sunt solitari si preocupati sa se admire in geamul metroului sau orice alta suprafata in carese pot oglindi. Nu vorbesc cu nimeni, dar vorbesc cu ei inshishi. Nu asculta muzica ca nu e in trend sau daca o fac au un Ipod bine ascuns in buzunarul de la piept sau in poseta mare si o fac destul de intimidati si cu o mima destul de rigida, ca nu e in trend o mima de alta natura si Regulamentul de Ordine Interioara (ROI) de la corporatia din care fac parte le interzice un comportament neadecvat cum ar fi un zambet, un dat din picior in ritmul muzicii sau o atitudine relaxata. Citesc carti groase (romane psihologice) sau rose (de dragoste). De mentionat ca aici ar mai intra si « bugetarii » diferenta dintre ei si categoria « corporatistilor » este ca nu se admira in nimic, dorm pe ei, sunt blazati si costumele lor sunt marca BO (Bucur Obor).
3. Intre 9.00 si 10.00 pleaca la servici « executivii ». Sunt cei mai stersi si greu de indentificat, insa dintre ei se remarca categoria « secretare » sau « mimoze », sunt foarte viu colorate, cu fuste deasupra genunchiului sau pantaloni stransi pe picior, camasute sau tricouri cu aerisire la buric si, obligatoriu, decolteu adanc prin care se poate vedea fie pieptul generos natural, fie acelasi piept ajutat cu push-up. Parul este aranjat printr-o « instalatie » ajutata de mult gel in genul « rebel » sau « sarmale verticale ». Asculta muzica la casti direct din telefonul mobil care obligatoriu este mic si subtire si face poze. Genul de muzica : manea sau dance. Mima este a unei persoane relaxate si sictirita, fapt dovedit de modalitatea prin care mesteca guma pe care o lasa ulterior lipita pe bara de la metrou. Daca se intalnesc doua reprezentante din aceasta categorie subiectul de discutie sunt barbati, sex, cluburi, barbati, masini, cluburi, sex, barbati. Apelativul de adresare : « tu » sau « fata », foarte rar mai apar si altele de genul : « fa ».
4. Intre 10.00 si 11.00 pleaca la servici « bagabontii ». Modalitatea de indentificare : par valvoi sau fara, nebarbieriti de cel putin o zi. Asculta muzica cu pasiune fara a ascunde firele de la MP3, muzica ascultata – rock, rapp, tehno, au ghiozdane sau rucsacuri mari. Vorbesc tare cu apelative : « frate ! », « c%@!# », ba, ma » etc. si cu multe englezisme care depasesc la numar cuvintele in romana. Sunt incaltati cu ghete sau tenesi cu talpa groasa si imbracaminte fistichie, viu colorata (exista si o constanta care nu se incadreaza pe deplin, cei care sunt imbracti in blugi si geci de piele negre).
5. Dupa 11.00 pleaca cu metroul studentii, elevii si pensionari, dar nu e exclus sa fie indentificati si in primele categorii. Pensionarii sunt usor de indentificat prin faptul ca sunt foarte bine bine imbracati (gros), au o plasa sau o geanta mare goala si au calitati de cascadori pe resorturi (mai exact sunt cand in afara vagonului si in secunda urmatoare ocupa trei scaune in vagon, totul prin sarituri din artele martiale sau gimnastica acrobatica). Merg oriunde si oricand fara sa aiba o treaba anume. Studentii si elevii pot fi indentificati prin faptul ca sunt galagiosi, haine viu colorate si grupati pe sexe (in grupuri mari) sau solitari mixt (in grupuri de multiplu de doi, pana la sase membri). De regula, citesc cursuri sau carti (manuale)
Sondajul a fost realizat pe un esantion reprezentaiv cu o marja de eroare de +/- 100%. Au fost indentificate si analizate elementele care au un ordin de repetabilitate mai mare pentru fiecare categorie. Categoriile si impartirea pe ore a fost aleasa in urma studierii si in functie de elementele majoritare.
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Vic_Astro
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
3/17 11:54am
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
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Love is merely a trick the DNA plays to replicate itself.
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Milena_Syan
Title: FanForce CR
FF Romania
Registered:
Sep '05
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Date Posted:
3/18 11:08am
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
- Date Edited:
3/18 11:08am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Milena_Syan
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Good ones, guys!
I know the Chuck Norris stuff is old, but just I can't help myself:
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycle Bin.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman..... out of rain.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,.........
.... he turns the dark off.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.
Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
In an average living room there are 1,024 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds - hey, that sounds like something Mara would do!
Anyway, the Google stuff is true: just type "find Chuck Norris" and press "I'm feeling lucky", if you haven't already. 
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There is no death. There are no limits. Fan Force Romania Binding the galaxy since 2004 http://boards.theforce.net/romania/b10647/p1
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CyberFaust
Title: Co-Chapter Rep
FF Romania
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
3/18 11:33am
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
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mda, in caz ca nu ai observat, google nu are nici o legatura cu reziltatul ala
e un alt site - facut sa arate ca google, si cu niste bot seeding apare primul pe lista rezultatelor.
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I hate broccoli And think it totally sucks Why is it not meat? "And God shalt smite thee who watcheth the Wars of Stars. Repent ye all who hath sinned with Jar Jar andeth been diddled by C3PO." - Lies 3:64 http://boards.theforce.net/romania/b10647/p1
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Chantal
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
3/18 12:35pm
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
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Hehehe! Facts of life about email:
http://www.cs.rutgers.edu/~watrous/facts-of-life.html
-----signature-----
… We are such stuff
As dreams are made of, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
(The Tempest, IV, 1, 17)
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Milena_Syan
Title: FanForce CR
FF Romania
Registered:
Sep '05
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Date Posted:
3/18 1:17pm
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
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CyberFaust posted:
mda, in caz ca nu ai observat, google nu are nici o legatura cu reziltatul ala
e un alt site - facut sa arate ca google, si cu niste bot seeding apare primul pe lista rezultatelor.
No, really?! What was your first clue, Sherlock?
Maybe the URL of the page, or it coulda been the words "This page has no affiliation with Google" written at the bottom of it.
Still, it's obvious it has a "pumped" Google pagerank - not that you would know how they compute *that*, Mr Cyber-so-smart.
-----signature-----
There is no death. There are no limits. Fan Force Romania Binding the galaxy since 2004 http://boards.theforce.net/romania/b10647/p1
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MaraStardreamer
Registered:
Apr '06
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Date Posted:
3/18 1:36pm
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
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Milena_Syan posted:
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds - hey, that sounds like something Mara would do!
 
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It's all over and I'm standing pretty
In this dust that was a city
If I could find a souvenir
Just to prove the world was here...
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JadenKorr
Registered:
Jan '05
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Date Posted:
3/19 4:38am
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
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Cica era odata Dumnezeu si a facut un cazan mare cu minte si-i zice lui Sf Petru sa adune toata lumea ca sa le puie minte in cap.
Incepe Sf Petru cu un polonic si pune minte in cap la oameni.Dupa o vreme,cazanul ajunge la un sfert.
- Doamne,ce ne facem ca maie un sfert de cazan si ia uite cati mai sant,zice Sf Petru.
- Ei,dar pune si tu acum cu lingurita,zise Dumnezeu.
Si Sf Petru pune acum cu lingurita pana ce cazanul se termina.Si iar ai zise lui Dumnezeu:
- Doamne,cene facem ca nu mai e minte in cazan si ia uite cati mai sant.Ce le dam?
- Da-le ma cate o diploma,zise Dumnezeu.
Sau ultima poanta a lui DOD.
Cica nu-i place fasolea ca-l vorbeste pe la spate.
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ROGUESQUAD
Registered:
Oct '04
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Date Posted:
3/21 4:28am
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
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I. Ce imbatraneste prima oara la un barbat ?
R. Nevasta.
I. In cate grupe se impart femeile?
R. Femeile se impart in trei grupe:
- elastice (se intind cat tine patul).
- supraelastice (se intind si prin alte paturi).
- credincioase (se intind pana la Dumnezeu).
I. Ce este un copil complexat?
R. Un copil cu mama reala si tata imaginar.
I. Care este cel mai periculos loc din lume?
R. Patul. Acolo mor 80% dintre oameni.
I. Prin ce se deosebeste ariciul de aricioaica ?
R. Ariciul are o teapa in plus.
I. Care este diferenta dintre un taur si un bou ?
R. Taurul poate deveni tata, pe cand boul numai unchi.
I. Prin ce se deosebeste sexul frantuzesc de cel romanesc ?
R. Francezii fac sex fara lenjeria de corp, iar romanii fara lenjeria de pat.
I. Ce facea Mesterul Manole cand o zidea pe sotia lui, Ana?
R. Body-building.
I. De ce prefera barbatii sa se insoare cu virgine?
R. Pentru ca nu suporta comparatiile.
I. Cum se cheama un barbat inteligent in America ?
R. Turist.
I. Care este asemanarea dintre un barbat si un storcator de fructe?
R. Ai nevoie de el, dar nu esti sigura pentru ce.
I. Cum se numeste un barbat caruia ii lipseste 90% din creier?
R. Castrat.
I. Care este diferenta dintre o repriza de fotbal si un preludiu?
R. Prima dureaza sigur 45 de minute.
I. Care este diferenta dintre o amanta si o sotie?
R. 30 de kilograme.
I. Care este diferenta dintre un amant si un sot?
R. 30 - 45 de minute.
I. Care este asemanarea dintre o masina noua si un sot?
R. Ambele functioneaza bine doar in primul an.
I. La ce e mai usor sa renunti: la vin sau la femei?
R. Depinde de vechime.
I. Care e diferenta dintre o femeie si o baterie electrica ?
R. Bateria are si o parte pozitiva, anodul.
I. De ce au uraganele nume de femei?
R. Pentru ca vin umede si salbatice si pleaca cu casa si masina.
I. Ce fac pestii cand sunt multi?
R. Bancuri.
I. Ce zic ciobanii cand se descalta ?
R. A mai trecut un an!
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sergiurusu
Title: former CR
FF Romania
Registered:
May '01
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Date Posted:
3/22 5:06am
Subject:
RE: humor - umor (general) :)
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"Collecting has the permanence of herpes, it mutates but doesn't go away" My collections: http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v226/sergiurusu/ My music site: http://electrosound.ro/
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