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Author	Topic: The Writers' Guild
Knight_Dilettante Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 6/14/06 9:31pm Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild
	I'm gonna leap in here with some feedback 'cause I'm under the impression that's what we're supposed to do. So I'm gonna ignore the little voice that says, "what do you know, you can't even get commas in the right place," and post. Feel free to have a mod edit this post out if I shouldn't have. Twinky_Stryder Don't hide! That's quite an intriguing extract. I'd have read further and probably bought the book if that had been something I picked up in the bookstore. I found myself a bit confused by Butler because your dramatis personae seemed to say he was a friend of Kern's but he talked more like a servant. Am I confused or is he both or??? The two aren't mutually exclusive of course but it might be something to think about in how he talks? I can see that he might talk like a servant when others are about and more familiarly when it is just he and Kern but then once Elara is "in" on the secret of the room, maybe he'd also talk like a friend in front of her as well. If I've just got the wrong end of the stick, my apologies. I'm extrapolating from a small data set, I could easily be extrapolating in the complete wrong direction. I love your description of Butler as a Crookedly tall guy by the way. Excellent image. I loved the library imagery too (I'm a total sucker for books, naturally) and that it was more books than Elara thought existed. That's a great insight into her character. I also thought it was clever to put limits on when mind reading would work based on the emotional state of the readee. Telepathy always seemed like a dangerous thing to play with I think, too easy to go too far with it and then get stuck in some place where either the bad guy should know everything because he can read minds or the good guy should and either way you don't want them too only some other part of the story hinges on being able to read minds and then you really are stuck. Or maybe it's just me that that sort of thing happens to. I have been suffering from a similar problem Twinky (if I may be so bold as to shorten your name) which I call "the editor voice". That's the one that says, "that's crap" or "that's not original enough" or "yawn that's so 5 minutes ago" or whatever. I've decided that I need to learn to ignore the "editor voice" until I'm ready for it. One thing I have thought about trying is to use a typewriter instead of a computer for the first draft. That way I can't go back and futz with what I have already done except as handwritten notes. If it is typewritten I can scan it in and let optical character recognition load it into a document for me for later editing and I can use margins and such (and a blue non-photo pencil if necessary) to make notes about changes that I seriously need to make. Of course, I don't have a typewriter... So I might try a new document for each days work first and see if that helps any. Dunno if any of that rambling will help you out but I leave it there just in case. TWS Ooooh, creepy! I like it. Again, if that had been the first chapter or the back blurb on a book or something I'd have read further and probably bought it. Too creepy and I might have had to pass on it. Just creepy enough and I'd have bought it. I am a bit of a wuss creepy-wise though I have to admit. I can write creepier than I can usually read actually... I wonder what that says about me? My own writing is once again slow to stagnant. Though I think slow rather than completely stopped at the moment which gives me hope. I did manage to do a dare fic on the fanfic boards recently but only because the dare was specific and the muse bit at it. I also did a tiny bit of revising for something and scribbled out a few ideas for another couple of fanfic stories but in terms of original works about all I managed was to finally find the hook for a story/script I've been contemplating for ages. I had the "message" (not that it is really a "message movie/book/whatever" because I really don't like them usually) but I couldn't find a framework that would work for me. I finally have the barest hint of a hook that I can use to plot it out now. I think. One of my problems is that thus far I have very much been a "let the characters tell me what is happening next" kind of writer but that doesn't help if the characters are sitting around playing nickel pinochle instead of telling me what they are going to do next. I've never successfully planned a whole story. I think I am going to try that with something soon to see if it is a tool I can use. Sorry for all the verbiage. Like Pascal, I lacked the time to make it shorter. KD -----signature----- An Improbable Mission (Qui/Mace) updated 10/16/05 http://doiop.com/Mission more in bio I'm so happy because I'm writing again!
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Master-FatBurt Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 6/15/06 12:43am Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild
	Planning the story is a great idea and although I've been working on my latest incarnation for over a month and haven't even started writing the first manuscript doesn't bother me. I have a very good character progression for all my main and major characters, I have names and references to important minor characters as well. I have a rough basic and rough detailed map of the story and a notepad thats now full of ideas that reference back to the characters. The next part is the lay the story timeline down on a spreadsheet and write out how the story should progress which will also have comment boxes for key bits of dialogue or similar. There will be a row for each character and this will show when they should enter the story. If anyone wants my plan in detail feel free to PM me and I'll send you the details -----signature----- rules are meant to be broken All Bluebirds are Blue COME ON BARRA!!
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Sanctimoniously Registered: Dec '05	Date Posted: 6/16/06 10:01am Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild
	I'm here...somewhat...stuck with using the library for my Internet access because of minor financial problems. But rest assured, Sanct is still coming up with new material. My latest focus is a story that follows two Canadian soldiers through a fictional war with North Korea. One is an avid Counter-Strike gamer who views the war as "CS with better graphics and guns," and the other is an honour student who lost his scholarship to college and joined the Army to pay his way to the future he wants. I have the eleven-page file saved under the name "War is Pergatory." -----signature----- In For a Quick Garden http://www.myspace.com/sanctimoniously
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Andalite-Bandit Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 6/19/06 11:13pm Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild - Date Edited: 6/19/06 11:15pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Andalite-Bandit
	I just hit page 80 on the first draft of my feature, and I think it's turning out pretty nicely so far. I think my scriptwriting is more suited to feature length projects anyways, I always felt like I was cramming too much stuff into my short films, the ideas were too big and probably would have been better off as feature stories. Example, my sophmore year short was this story about this mysterious supernatural Creature who had no eyes, and he went to this photographer who was obsessed with photography and was like "Give me your eyes or this girl is going to die", and that sort of craziness is just too much for a 15 minute project with sub par acting. Oh well. I am pretty happy with this one so far. We'll see how it turns out when I actually shoot the thing. eek. In terms of planning, my writing advisor last semester had me write up short character bios for the main guys and talk about their spines, which certainly has helped a lot. Then I wrote up a rough outline, and then like a 15 page treatment, and then I just started writing. I wrote the first act by itself, went back and edited a few times, and then I just started going from there. The major events I had planned out, but I've changed things and added stuff and just figured out a few things as I've gone along. At page 80, I'm coming up towards the end. I don't want to go too much past 100 pages, because I have to shoot and edit this, so if I get too long that's going to mean bad things for scheduling and budgeting. -----signature----- "It's all the same fraking day, man." - Janis Joplin http://boards.theforce.net/your_jedi_council_community/b10008/29050206/p1/?0
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Andalite-Bandit Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 6/23/06 3:24pm Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild
	Noooooooo. -----signature----- "It's all the same fraking day, man." - Janis Joplin http://boards.theforce.net/your_jedi_council_community/b10008/29050206/p1/?0
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Knight_Dilettante Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 6/25/06 1:22pm Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild
	Well, I don't know how long Master-FatBurt's planning find will work for me but I'm very happy I asked for more info on it because I think it will get me over a particularly annoying problem I was having with a fanfic and even more cool for me it got me thinking again on an original story I have been mulling for years now. <happy_dance> Now to just make some time, and peace and quiet to write in! KD -----signature----- An Improbable Mission (Qui/Mace) updated 10/16/05 http://doiop.com/Mission more in bio I'm so happy because I'm writing again!
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Andalite-Bandit Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 6/26/06 3:34pm Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild - Date Edited: 6/26/06 4:17pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Andalite-Bandit
	I think the spreadsheet thing could indeed be very helpful, but for me it's a little too organized. I prefer to map things out in my head and jot down some plot points in a simple word document, and then write an outline. Sometimes. A short film I just did the other day for example I got the idea that night, I wrote down the very basic plot points on word, and I had the script done in like 4 hours. I've touched it up since then, but I like it. Sometimes I will outline certain scenes that might be complicated. Like right now I am working on one of two big zombie rampage scenes, where the five main characters are split up and each has various encounters with zombies, so I just finished a rough outline of it all on Word. My zombie feature is still coming along. I've been going slower lately but I'm in the 90's, and my goal is to finish the first draft in the next few days and email it to my Producers and some other people and get feedback before starting in on the second draft. I'm hoping to have a third or fourth draft done by the time school starts in August, which should be pretty close to a final draft and good enough to start going ahead with the pre-production and casting. -----signature----- "It's all the same fraking day, man." - Janis Joplin http://boards.theforce.net/your_jedi_council_community/b10008/29050206/p1/?0
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Andalite-Bandit Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 6/28/06 10:23pm Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild
	People should post here more! Anyways, I finished the first draft of my feature and sent it to my producers and a few other people on my crew for some feedback. -----signature----- "It's all the same fraking day, man." - Janis Joplin http://boards.theforce.net/your_jedi_council_community/b10008/29050206/p1/?0
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Jabba-wocky Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 7/1/06 11:50am Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild
	What is this film gonna be about? -----signature----- ays Darius the king: 8 of my family (there were) who were formerly kings; I am the ninth (9); long aforetime we are kings. All Hail His Excellency, Barack Obama Roma vincit Tearing Up a Lane (TERRIN UP A LAAAANE!!!)
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Andalite-Bandit Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 7/1/06 4:57pm Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild
	Well it is pretty much the same concept as the zombie short film I posted earlier in the thread a ways back. The idea is that there is a scientist who has found a way to reanimate dead bodies, basically creating zombies, however, when the main character is killed and brought back as a zombie, for some reason he is able to remember his past and he has retained his free will. So he's basically his regular old self, except he's dead. And then the movie is both about him being manipulated by this scientist while also trying to regain acceptance from his friends, who are somewhat freaked out about having a zombie hanging around. Since at mt school I have free access to a wide variety of equipment, as well as crew and cast, the budget is far lower than a feature film would normally require. I basically only need to purchase food for the all-day shoots, DV stock, zombie makeup, 2 external hard drives, and some misc. props and costumes that we can't scrounge up for free. I am thinking I will only need to raise between say 4000 and 6000 dollars in order to do this. Possibly less. The finished film will then be sent off to a variety of film festivals, and perhaps something will come of it. -----signature----- "It's all the same fraking day, man." - Janis Joplin http://boards.theforce.net/your_jedi_council_community/b10008/29050206/p1/?0
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Jairen Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Sep '00	Date Posted: 7/8/06 6:20pm Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild
	I thought I'd post a quick sample of my work, just to get a general response. This is the opening of Chapter 7, the first introduction to a new character. ******** CHAPTER SEVEN RAKAN The crowd flowed apart as he walked among them. Only after he had passed did they move together again, almost as if huddling for warmth or safety. Always they watched him, ready to move again if he turned and walked back towards them. Rakan felt an almost sensual pleasure at the fear he could feel radiating from them. He walked the streets of Araker slowly, his head held high and no guards to interfere with where he wished to go. He had no need of them any more. He had made sure that as many people as possible had seen the last man who had threatened him. It had taken days to remove the remains from the market. As little as two years ago he had been afraid to walk the streets alone. A lowly palace servant with no prospects, he had been invisible to the courtiers and lords that swamped the palace. It had all changed the night he met the spirit. The memory came back to him easily. He was cleaning up after one of the King's parties, a task he had loathed back then, and still did. The hall was quiet, shadowed now that the torches had dwindled, what little light they cast flickering with. His broom was resting against the column, whilst he gnawed on a discarded bone, getting what little meat he could from it’s picked carcass. He was ripping the last piece of flesh away when he had felt it, a silence so profound he had thought he was deaf. His eyes had been drawn to the throne, the huge granite claw that dominated the room. The bone fell to the floor, discarded without thought as he stepped up to it. For a fleeting moment his mind considered the treason of approaching the throne, but the silence drew him closer, drowning his thoughts, quenching his will. As he reached it, he felt the compulsion build within him, forcing him to move, positioning him onto the centre of the throne. He pulled his legs up, crossed in front of him, and bowed his head, letting the great claw clench into a fist, enclosing him inside. His mind rebelled then, forcing him away from the memory of what happening within, of what he saw. All he knew was that the promise had been kept, and within the week he was the King’s Advisor, second in authority for the whole kingdom. Shaking the thoughts away, clearing his mind, he focused on the information he was returning to the palace with. After a morning of negotiations with the Cadran Guild, concerning their continued inability to locate and kill the boy Jairen Gilthain, he was satisfied that they had been reprimanded sufficiently to carry out the contract without further delays. Almost happy, he stopped for a moment at one of the many stalls lining the street, grabbing an apple and taking a big bite. "Here, hold on a minute," the owner said, glancing across from another customer. Rakan saw the bob of his adam's apple as recognition lit his features. "I didn't realise it was you m'lord. Please accept my humblest apologies." The man touched a hand quickly to his forehead in submission. Rakan considered it for a moment, but his business took precedent over any personal considerations so he simply walked away, taking another bite from the apple as he left. He glanced back once, making the stall owner start. Dropping the man from his mind, Rakan left the market square, a large area just at the end of the main road leading to the palace. He walked up to the gates, glad to see the guards were paying attention as they snapped off a sharp salute, a slight trace of fear in their eyes. He felt that sensual thrill again at the way they seemed to sway away from him as he passed inside. He glanced up at the sun from inside the courtyard, checking his timing. Satisfied that he knew where the King would be, quick, sure strides took him in the direction of the royal gardens. As soon as he entered he could hear the voice of the King. "I can look around the garden if I choose to," a frail old voice said. "I am the King and this is my garden, so there." Rakan orientated himself on the sound of the voice and slipped through the bushes, coming up behind the King and the manservant who was attending him. The manservant turned at his approach so Rakan waved him away. Bowing once in respect, the man walked away, leaving the King shouting at nothing. "I believe you wish to tour the garden your Majesty," Rakan said, gripping the handles on the back of the wheelchair. "Ah, my good friend and advisor Rakan. I had hoped you would join me today. I never get much time in the garden unless you're around. The menservants think I'm hurting myself coming out here in the weather.” He drew in a large deep breath then coughed it out again, hacking up some phlegm as he did. “It's rather bracing, isn't it?" Rakan reached into his pocket and took out a small rag. Taking the King’s face in his hand, he wiped the rag across his mouth, removing the spittle dribbling down. As he pulled his hand away, the poison slid from the small needle on the inside of his official ring into the King without him noticing anything. Rakan noticed the slump in the King's stature immediately, as the poison worked efficiently within his body. It had taken Rakan six months to find the ingredients for the poison, and it had cost him a great deal of money, money he'd had to siphon off from the royal treasury. He had been in control of it at the time, so covering up the use of the money had been easy. The poison was very rare, a drug that induced a sickness of the mind and a loss of control of the limbs, though the latter was more of a side effect than its original purpose. But it was unstable and required constant administration, only long term exposure could have the desired effect. The first attempt had been through the King’s food, but the food tasters had died too quickly, and security in the kitchens had been increased. Rakan almost grinned again when he thought about it. No one seemed to suspect him, despite his obvious closeness to the King. He made sure he got to see the King at least once every few hours, just long enough to give him some more, but this time his duties to Karagus had cost him at least a day and the King's abilities had been slowly returning. The new dose had quickly counteracted any improvement. Rakan wheeled the King back in through the garden door to the chamber located at the rear of the throne room, a retreat for the King when the pressures of the court were aggravating his poison induced malady. He spent several minutes straightening the King's robes, then pushed the chair through the main door into the throne room. He was met by a fanfare as the trumpeters acknowledged the arrival of their king, and his eyes quickly scanned the crowd to see who was in attendance. He had made many enemies amongst the petty lords who vied for the King's favour, but since his use of the drug, many of them had chosen to keep their feelings to themselves. Rakan rather enjoyed trying to work out who was plotting against him at any particular time, though the news he had received earlier that day had worried him a little. Rumour had it that several of the lords had banded together to try and rid the court of him. Rakan settled on a small group muttering to each other towards the rear of the hall, a smile creasing his face when they saw him. In a few seconds they had split apart, taking up positions in distant parts of the hall. Rakan continued to smile as he spoke. “All bow in the presence of King Lafonse, Ruler of Darg,” he paused for effect, then in his loudest voice added, “Show him your loyalty." The lords all bowed slowly. quite aware that to ignore the law passed by King Lafonse that all should bow in his presence, meant a quick and instant death. Rakan watched them all like a hawk, then turned away to help the King to the throne. Rakan could feel Karagus's presence within the stone, a malevolent shadow that settled around the raised area, giving him an impression of a cloud trying to block the sun. For a moment he lost himself to his memories again. His fingers brushing the stone as Lafonse settled into the palm of the claw brought him straight back to the presence. Rakan gently eased the chair behind the throne. He could feel Karagus's reassurance, pulsing into him the whole time they were in contact, telling him to come tonight for a discussion. Rakan stood on Lafonse's left, then grabbed the staff of his office from where it was kept by the throne. He slammed its base three times on the floor to gain the hall’s attention. "As is customary, the King wishes to hear the first Claimant before the court begins session. Bring him in." The great double doors at the end of the throne room that led to the main corridor of the palace were thrown back, letting sunlight shine in through the large opening. A single figure stood outlined in the light, crossed swords on his back and daggers in his boots. He entered the hall in long strides, his gait like a stalking cat. Many of the lords along the man’s route to the throne drew back as he passed. Rakan watched the man’s hands tap a staccato pace on the edges of his trousers, as if waiting for the command to grab a weapon and fight. The man passed the petty lords without even a glance, his eyes on the King and Rakan the whole time. When he reached a spot about ten feet from the throne he dropped to one knee and bowed his head. "What do you wish?" Rakan asked, studying the man closely. "I am Taralan Yith, an adventurer and swordsman by trade,” he said, looking up but not coming off his knees, “I have recently completed a quest and find myself in need of something new. A close friend recommended trying out for the guard here at the palace." Rakan paused for a moment, unsure what to say, when the King spoke. "You are welcome here at the palace Taralan." Rakan glanced at the King, surprised at the strength in his voice. "I may have need of your talents at a future date, and your deeds are not unheard of to me. Obtain a warrant from my scribe and report to the barracks. They will arrange a bed for you and I would request that you return this evening to report to me personally." Taralan bowed his head again, stood and walked away, pausing long enough at the doors to grab the warrant held in the hand of the scribe. The door was closed behind him, banging shut on a silent audience. Rakan continued to watch the King, still upset that he had thrown off the effects of the poison so rapidly. To his surprise, the King slumped back into his chair, as listless as he always appeared after he had been poisoned. Rakan leant against the throne, resting his right hand on the claw's thumb. He felt the sudden presence of Karagus, reassuring him that everything was right and that all would be explained that evening. Obeying his master, he pushed the incident from his mind, turning his thoughts to the everyday running of the kingdom. It was late afternoon when Rakan found the opportunity to remove the four lords who had been plotting against him. “Lord Advisor, I stand before you to petition rights to hunt in the Ilthan Forest,” Lord Madelar said, passing the sealed document to the steward at the base of the throne’s steps. “Lord Madelar, surely you jest. You know that the Ilthan Forest is restricted by order of the King,” Rakan said. He could feel the pleasure spreading through him again. Lord Madelar had walked into his trap. “But my Lord Advisor, we need to hunt there. Game is scarcer now than ever before, the animals are learning that man does no hunt within the trees. We must be given access to the forest.” His voice had risen in forcefulness as he had spoken. Rakan could tell that his anger was getting the best of him. “What is your real reason Madelar? Your reason and that of the other Lords you spoke with earlier?” Rakan almost grinned at Madelar’s suddenly guilty expression. Taking the moment and squeezing it for all it was worth, Rakan removed the document he had prepared over the Highsun break. Sealed to the bottom were the marks of the four lords he wished to remove, uniting them in treason to the crown. “What is the meaning of this Madelar?” Rakan said, throwing the document into the Lord’s face. Madelar clumsily caught the parchment and examined it, his face draining of colour as he read the final line. “The king must die…” Madelar dropped the document to the floor and looked up at Rakan. “You’ll never make this stick.” “I don’t have to.” Rakan was almost grinning, the effort to hold it turning his face into a grimace. With a negligent wave of his hand three guards stepped forward to contain the Lord. “Take him to the dungeons. Have the palace guard take into custody Lord’s Caral, Devar and Tulan. The charge is treason.” The guards saluted him and then grabbed Madelar, escorting him not gently from the hall. “This incident has tired the King,” Rakan announced, “court is finished for the day. Leave.” ******** Any comments or general feedback are always appreciated, and anyone interested in reading more would be greatly appreciated as well. -----signature----- "How am I gonna get a girl? I drive around in a garbage truck!" - Hellboy Me in a film: http://copperraven.com/movies/ahoweb.wmv
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Master-FatBurt Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 7/27/06 3:16am Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild
	The slow death of this thread makes me sad. Writers must post moer!!!!! I have now got myself in a position to start planning my chapters in full. I have all the basics of my characters done and outlined the major/minor events that will happen tothem throughout the course of the book. I have the books timeline in place as well. Through the planning process I used I have also changed the motivation of my main character and how and why she it to do what she does. The change has altered a couple of the fundemental ideas and plot points but I think it allows for a more natural and understandable resolution to her story. With these changes in place I have embarked upon fleshing out the chapters themselves which will allow me to decide what goes where so that when I start to write I know what is supposed to happen and when. This means that when the story is completed it can only be ruined by my crappy prose as apposed to people saying that it's convoluted and disjointed. I hope to actually have the first chapter up "soon" -----signature----- rules are meant to be broken All Bluebirds are Blue COME ON BARRA!!
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JediNemesis Registered: Mar '03	Date Posted: 7/27/06 5:41am Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild
	Jairen, that's pretty good. I liked it a lot. PM follows -----signature----- BeTS Best Author '08 NEW Eleven Summers - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/29657584 Lightning and Diamonds - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/29251762 Into The Shining Day - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/29224914
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Sanctimoniously Registered: Dec '05	Date Posted: 7/27/06 12:36pm Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild
	I've also been hard at work at several different storylines. -----signature----- In For a Quick Garden http://www.myspace.com/sanctimoniously
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Andalite-Bandit Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 7/27/06 1:31pm Subject: RE: The Writers' Guild
	I'm just about finished with the second draft of my feature. I completely altered one of the plotlines and added a completely new and very important character, and I think it has made the overall tone of the story a bit darker and it is a good improvement. I think this draft is going to end up a little over 120 pages, which is getting past a 2 hour running time most likely, so I think on the third draft I will have to focus on shortening it a bit. Over 2 hours isn't bad for a movie at all, however it gets a bit into the range of being too difficult for me to shoot as a student production. Ideally I'd prefer around 100 to 110 pages. -----signature----- "It's all the same fraking day, man." - Janis Joplin http://boards.theforce.net/your_jedi_council_community/b10008/29050206/p1/?0
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