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Author	Topic: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006
DBrennan3333 Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 4/8/06 4:48am Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006
	NYCitygurl posted: I agree. Let's drop this topic, wait patiently for the scores (believe it or not, we want them too--we don't know what the other scored, or who wrote which) and if you have complaints, then wait until the post-contest discussion. As if we have any other choice in the matter. We were told the scores would be in weeks ago. It might just be howling at the moon, but I think those of us who had entries have every right to complain. -----signature----- My 10-min. Doc about Clone Wars: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_h41PEyU1w My Award Winning Star Wars Essay: http://StarWarsEssay.Blogspot.com !!! My Illustrated Sci-fi Novel: http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=284043
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DorkmanScott Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 4/8/06 4:16pm Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006
	Please make no mistake: No one has any right to complain. I am doing this in my free time, as a volunteer. As a matter of fact, I DIDN'T volunteer for this, I was asked to do this. Again, in my free time. Which is a commodity I have not had much of. The entrants didn't get their part of the competition done on time, and they received an extension. The judges weren't ready in time, and they received an extension. I see no reason that I should not be allowed to get this done in my own time. If you've got a problem with it, suck it up and deal. If anyone had paid for this, you'd have a right to complain. As it is, you don't. If you want to call for another host for next time, that's fine. Someone else can deal with your ingratitude and I can relinquish that responsibility happily. M. Scott -----signature----- Yes We Did http://www.ryanvsdorkman.com Check out my blog: http://dorkmanscott.blogspot.com
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Coruscant Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 4/8/06 7:28pm Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006
	Alright, you've addressed our "ingratitude", now why don't you give us a timeframe on when we can see some results?
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DorkmanScott Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 4/8/06 7:40pm Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006 - Date Edited: 4/8/06 7:41pm (1 edits total) Edited By: DorkmanScott
	Why? Because I don't like your attitude in asking for it, that's why. They'll go up when I have the chance to put them up. That's when. Hopefully soon. M. Scott -----signature----- Yes We Did http://www.ryanvsdorkman.com Check out my blog: http://dorkmanscott.blogspot.com
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Andalite-Bandit Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 4/8/06 7:56pm Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006
	Don't you just have to like, take three sets of numbers and add them together? What else has to be done? -----signature----- "It's all the same fraking day, man." - Janis Joplin http://boards.theforce.net/your_jedi_council_community/b10008/29050206/p1/?0
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droideka27 Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: May '02	Date Posted: 4/8/06 8:15pm Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006
	Yeah, anyways.... if there is a user that wants to get the next contest started and act as host, please PM me and let me know. I'll ask that you allow me to giveinput as to what prompt or whatever you chose, as acting forum moderator... or if you guys want, I'd be happy to just get one started for the second time around. I really don't think you have the right to be snippy at people who are only upset because they receive NO INFORMATION from you. It's one thing to say "I'm sorry, I'm busy, please wait another week, I'll have it up ____." But you're not even trying to do that. -----signature----- "The ability to speak does not make you intelligent" -- Qui-Gon
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Coruscant Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 4/8/06 9:39pm Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006
	Dorkman: I've given you no attitude. I sent you a polite, but to-the-point (only one sentence!) PM that never got a response either. Sorry if you took offense somewhere where none was meant. I would be interesting in hosting, but I'd much rather stay in the competition for a few more rounds. I don't think we should lose faith in this yet. Great things require great effort. We've made a few blunders obviously, but this competition is comparitively precendental (in the context of the board) so it's to be expected.
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DorkmanScott Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 4/9/06 12:28am Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006
	Master Fatburt's reviews [note: Author's names were added to this post and were unknown to the judges]: First off I'm going to say that I've read all the entries twice. I'm not going to be grading on grammar. I've decided against this as some stories work best with a bit of broken syntax in there and sometimes the story requires it. I would ask everyone to understand that entertainment value is down to individual perspective as well. I may really enjoy the style of one persons writing but the story may just not hook me but another "similar" story may hook me but I could find the writing stilted. I have reviewed each story individually and have not marked them against one another. The marking I have given are based on my feelings on the story itself not as a comparison against another. Reviews Entry 1 - Coruscant 36/50 Creativity 8 A good idea based around a popular theme, instead of giving us all the details of how and what was found we were just left with the aftermath and the length that people will go to in an attempt to save themselves. Cliffhanger ending was a nice touch Writing Ability 6 Pretty good, there were a few eye rolling cliche moments for me but on the whole it was strong enough to carry the story through well enough for me. Not brilliant but perfectly passable Grammar/Mechanics 7 Flowing style, good story presentation and well structured. Aside from a few cliches it was well presented and well written Prompt Use 7 Simple and effective, no reference to time though Entertainment 8 I enjoyed this, the story was a different slant from what I was expecting after I read the title. No direct references but I felt there was a little Stargate influence it here not that that's a bad thing as there was no plagiarism and adapting ideas can be a good thing if done well and this was certainly a good effort Entry 2 - Sanctimoniously 37/50 Creativity 6 Sci-Fi/Fantasy boards so I should have expected heavy Sci-Fi influence. This was very reminiscent of Doom or similar but with a bit of the old squad based action going on. Not the most original piece of work I've seen if I'm honest. Writing Ability 9 Written in first person, I consider this a very hard style to write (I know all my attempts at this style have failed miserably) I also consider it to be the most enjoyable style to read. This was a well-written version and one you should be proud of Grammar/Mechanics 7 Well written, well laid out. It did draw me in to be honest and although creatively it's not the most original piece it used what it had to the best of it's advantage Prompt Use 6 Straight forwards but a touch obvious considering the stories setting. Entertainment 9 I really enjoyed this one, I have a soft spot for stories with a tragic ending and with it being written in the first person was a double winner for me. Doom style setting aside, the fact that I was drawn in and was dragged though to the tragic but well written ending speaks volumes for the way this writer used their own ability to make a simple story enjoyable. Entry 3 - Knight_Dilettante 42/50 Creativity 9 Excellent idea here. They took a simple and well used idea but strong restraints on the theory. There was none of the usual "you can't do that because" or "We'll do that and hang the consequences" I really liked the idea on this one Writing Ability 9 Very good, descriptive and informative throughout but without long runs of exposition or overrunning narrative that can often interfere with the story itself. Grammar/Mechanics 8 Well written and laid out. The story fills itself out nicely and didn't use traditional tricks of leaving you with some random bit of information only to comeback to it later when you'd forgotten about it. Prompt Use 7 Simple, No reference to time which was required by the prompt though. Entertainment 9 I really enjoyed this, again a tragic ending to the story which also had an unexpected twist. Very good Entry 4 - DBrennan3333 30/50 Creativity 8 Interesting concept and well executed in it's application, the story itself gave me the impression that the writer feels strongly about the topic and wrote about something that interests them deeply Writing Ability 8 Good and descriptive (if a little wordy at times). Kept my attention throughout Grammar/Mechanics 8 Like the majority of the stories it was well written and laid out. I can't really add much more than that, it was easy to read as a result of this structure Prompt Use 3 Reference made to night time but the protagonist was going to sleep not waking up Entertainment 8 An enjoyable story that keeps you interested through till the end, a few twists and turns to keep you intrigued and want to continue (Entry recieved a 5 point deduction for exceeding wordcount.) Entry 5 - BigE 38/50 Creativity 6 Again a different twist on a story style that has been done quite extensively, I get the feeling that this is a small homage to Invasion but I could have misinterpreted that. Altogether some interesting concepts in the story but unfortunately nothing too original Writing Ability 8 Very good for me here, descriptive without being over the top and took the reader through the story and left the twist to the end whilst leaving few clues for it along the way, this would be a good prologue for a larger story which would help remove the risk of "been there done that" that the ending gives you Grammar/Mechanics 8 Simple, straightforward layout. I can't ask for more. Prompt Use 9 Very good, opened the story well and referenced the timeline and an abrupt awakening Entertainment 7 I enjoyed this throughout but the ending let it down slightly as it did give the feeling of "seen this before" that said this could be a great opening for a larger more complex story Entry 6 - JediNemesis 36/50 Creativity 7 Straightforward fantasy adventure, a little derivative but a few nice touches that help take it away from same old same old Writing Ability 7 Very good, kept the story running at a decent clip, descriptions and event not overly wordy which helped keep a decent pacing Grammar/Mechanics 8 Clear and concise, well laid out pages and an easy to read style Prompt Use 7 I didn't get the feeling of abruptness that was required but the description gave the feeling of fear and panic within the protagonist, which was good. Entertainment 7 Simple fantasy storyline with a few nice touches which helped make it a good read I won't say it's a classic but it has potential to be a very good story as opposed to the good story it is now Entry 7 - ImperialMarchFace 39/50 Creativity 9 An excellent concept, I really liked the idea behind this one and scarily enough I can see things like this happening in this world in the more unsavoury nations that we have here Writing Ability 7 Very good, give the impression of desolation, boredom and even slight despair in our protagonist from the off. Grammar/Mechanics 8 Clear and concise, well laid out pages and an easy to read style as above Prompt Use 7 Good use of alarm to signify an unexpected awakening however I never got the feeling that this surprised the protagonist, then again in the concept of the story he was probably used to it. Entertainment 8 Another story that I really enjoyed, so good ideas throughout and again this could easily be expanded out into an "escape" style story. Summary I really enjoyed reading your stories here and I'm sorry for the delay in getting my responses back to you (damn work). All the stories I read show (IMO) good promising writers. Writers these days really need to look outside of the box they are writing in, and the only complaint I would have is that some of the stories were a version of a well-established theme. In my opinion upcoming writers now need to start looking outside of the genre that they are writing and look to introduce new concepts to already existing ideas. As Excellence has said in a few threads. "You never see a fantasy story with a female lead who has no special powers or a fantasy story that has no elves/dragons/dwarves" and to a degree he's right. My tip for all you budding writers is. Continue doing what your doing but don't be afraid to try something really new. Thanks FatBurt I'll have the other judge's reviews up shortly (we only had two, in the end, this time around). M. Scott -----signature----- Yes We Did http://www.ryanvsdorkman.com Check out my blog: http://dorkmanscott.blogspot.com
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DorkmanScott Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 4/9/06 12:46am Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006
	NYCitygurl's results: Entry 1 - Coruscant: 30/50 Overall Creativity: 5 Writing Ability: 5 Grammar/Mechanics: 5 Use of the prompt: 10 Entertainment Value: 5 The grammar could have used some help; especially spacing. When writing for the internet, it's best to leave a blank line between paragraphs. Even if it wasn't for the internet, the start of the paragraph should be indented. The story was interesting, and I liked the end, but there wasn't really any fantasy or sci-fi elements in it other that a couple mentions of Atlantis, which may or may not count. There was also a major "ick" factor with the cannibalism and executions, as well a description of torture, that weren't really appreciated. In future works, try to tone that down a little. You have lots of potential for writing, and I urge you to do more of it. However, this needed to have some sci-fi/fantasy in it, and your story was lacking that, so I had to dock some points. The multiple mentions of trillions of dollars got a little repetitive, as well. It somehow lacked a realistic feel. Even sci-fi and fantasy have to have some basis in possibility, and your fiction piece had too much that went the king's way; managing to kill the media and world leaders was a bit too much. Entry 2 - Sanctimoniously: 40/50 Overall Creativity: 8 Writing Ability: 8 Grammar/Mechanics: 10 Use of the prompt: 10 Entertainment Value: 6 This was an easy and enjoyable read with a nice ending. Your skill with writing weapons and combat is excellent. However, you might not want to have so much technology and so many weapons in future writing, because the different kinds were confusing band took away from the story. Anyone not familiar with technology, weapons, and the military will have a bit of a hard time with this. You also need to work on your flow. They sentences seemed somewhat unconnected on some places, which made the story seem to jerk around a lot. Work on that a bit, and keep writing. Entry 3 - Knight_Dilettante: 43/50 Overall Creativity: 9 Writing Ability: 9 Grammar/Mechanics: 6 Use of the prompt: 10 Entertainment Value: 9 Your strength obviously lies in detail, because you had wonderful descriptions. The plot was interesting, though I would have liked to know why the character was seeing her own face at the end; that was a bit confusing. Your mistakes were mostly grammatical. You had several sentence fragments, and a ton of coma errors. Also, when writing numbers, spell them out ("five" instead of "5"). I look forward to seeing more of your writing in the future. Entry 4 - DBrennan3333: 24/50 Overall Creativity: 10 Writing Ability: 7 Grammar/Mechanics: 5 Use of the prompt: 0 Entertainment Value: 7 (5 points deducted for exceeding wordcount) That was a very interesting and original concept. There were moments that truly scared me to think of, and some that were very powerful. However, it was lacking flow; it was a bit choppy. The paragraph spacing was off; either indent, like you were writing and English paper, or up a blank line between each paragraph, which is the commonly accepted way to write for the Internet. You also had some major capitalization errors. I took off points for going over the word count, but your biggest mistake was not using the prompt at all, which cost you a lot. You did a god job with Darren's emotions and feelings, but you need to work on your flow. Entry 5 - BigE: 44/50 Overall Creativity: 9 Writing Ability: 10 Grammar/Mechanics: 6 Use of the prompt: 10 Entertainment Value: 9 This was a very entertaining story, if a bit confusing. The bit about the aliens was sort of sudden, and you had tons of comma errors. However, you made good use of the prompt, and your paragraph spacing was excellent. Good job! Entry 6 - JediNemesis: 46/50 Overall Creativity: 10 Writing Ability: 10 Grammar/Mechanics: 6 Use of the prompt: 10 Entertainment Value: 10 Wow. That was amazing! You are a truly talented author. The only problems were grammatical mistakes, mostly comma errors. Other than that excellent! Your writing is fresh and original, and amazingly powerful and touching. Entry 7 - ImperialMarchFace: 45 Overall Creativity: 10 Writing Ability: 9 Grammar/Mechanics: 7 Use of the prompt: 10 Entertainment Value: 9 Excellent use of the prompt; you wrote a very entertaining story. You did a good job with the main character's emotions. Nice detail. You had some grammar errors, but nothing too big. Your diction could use some tweaking. The paragraph spacing was off; either indent, like you were writing and English paper, or up a blank line between each paragraph, which is the commonly accepted way to write for the Internet. Also, spell out the numbers ("five" instead of "5"). Over all, good job. Final combined scores: Coruscant: 66/100 Sanctimoniously: 77/100 Knight_Dilettante: 85/100 DBrennan3333: 54/100 BigE: 82/100 JediNemesis: 82/100 ImperialMarchFace: 84/100 Congratulations to Knight_Dilettante, who receives one week of colors and title. Final call for authors, if you do not wish to have your manuscripts publically available, please let me know, otherwise I will post the zip file with all the entries on Monday. M. Scott -----signature----- Yes We Did http://www.ryanvsdorkman.com Check out my blog: http://dorkmanscott.blogspot.com
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DBrennan3333 Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 4/9/06 3:48am Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006 - Date Edited: 4/9/06 4:07am (1 edits total) Edited By: DBrennan3333
	Congrats to Knight Dilettante. Boy did I suck up the joint, eh? (And that's not a drug reference.) -----signature----- My 10-min. Doc about Clone Wars: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_h41PEyU1w My Award Winning Star Wars Essay: http://StarWarsEssay.Blogspot.com !!! My Illustrated Sci-fi Novel: http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=284043
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NYCitygurl Title: Generally Out to Lunch Manager: SFFBC, C&G, NSWFF Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 4/9/06 11:36am Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006
	Congratulations!!! -----signature----- "Not till the moon falls. Not till the world ends."
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Coruscant Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 4/9/06 11:50am Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006 - Date Edited: 4/9/06 11:54am (1 edits total) Edited By: Coruscant
	Please respect all the time and effort we've put in, because if we just get grief over this, I, for one, am not ging to be inclined to do it again. I know what you mean, and I'm going to send you my cross-examination over PM instead of posting it here in public. Fatburt: As for you, I found your judging much more agreeable. Kudos. Conratulations to Miss Knight_Dilettante! I can't wait to read your story! BTW, I'm fine with my story being posted publicly.
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Knight_Dilettante Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 4/9/06 12:43pm Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006
	Wow. I mean, really, wow! I got on this morn... er, afternoon and thought "Why is the logged in name red? Are they playing with the color schemes again?" Imagine my shock when I got to a thread I had a post in and I was red there too. And had a title. As wonderful and ego boosting as this is (and it is - I admit), the thing I most wanted to get out of this experience was some advice to improve my writing. Though, I do already know I suck at grammar - commas being my particular bane. I am working on that already. So, I thank the judges as much, if not more, for their comments as for the scores themselves. And I'm fine with having my story available to the members of the Writer's Guild here. I'd rather it wasn't left up for too long in a completely open venue though. Mostly because I do intend to revise heavily (pretty much 20 minutes after I had sent it in I decided it needed another 2000 to 2500 words worth of mostly action and some more explanation before I'd be really happy with it) and see about submitting it somewhere. Not that I expect to sell it or anything, but I think it might be more likely to be read if nothing had happened to affect first publication rights. So, DorkmanScott, if you're planning on posting the zip file somewhere accessible to the world at large for a long time or something, I might prefer that people PM me an e-mail address I could send it to directly. But I certainly would welcome comments from the fine writers here and I too look forward to reading the other stories. As well as some of the linked works folks have posted that RL has kept me from getting to yet. KD -----signature----- An Improbable Mission (Qui/Mace) updated 10/16/05 http://doiop.com/Mission more in bio I'm so happy because I'm writing again!
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JediNemesis Registered: Mar '03	Date Posted: 4/9/06 1:09pm Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006
	Hooray! Scores! First off, huge congratulations to you, Knight_Dilettante - seems like we had a pretty tough field, so very well done Can't wait to read the winning entry - and indeed all the others Second: thanks again, to both judges for reviewing clearly and constructively even if we didn't all agree with everything and for just putting in the effort. Same to Dorkman. I'd forgotten that you didn't volunteer, DS, and so thanks again for sticking with us. And to everybody else, for competing. -----signature----- BeTS Best Author '08 NEW Eleven Summers - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/29657584 Lightning and Diamonds - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/29251762 Into The Shining Day - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/29224914
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Knight_Dilettante Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 4/9/06 4:25pm Subject: RE: SFF Writer's Guild Writing Contest: February 2006
	I have been very impressed by the snippets of work from all the folks here that I have managed to read (sometimes I really hate real life). I decided early on that I could learn a lot from the folks here, and I really had not expected to do better than mid-field in this contest. Actually, with the scores so close, I feel a bit of a fraud being the only one in colors. Not that that is going to stop me from finding a nice blinding color combo in a minute. KD -----signature----- An Improbable Mission (Qui/Mace) updated 10/16/05 http://doiop.com/Mission more in bio I'm so happy because I'm writing again!
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