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Topic:
Stories That Must Not Be Told
Zoom_Cthooga
Title:
Former Southern CO Chapter Rep
Registered:
Jun '04
Date Posted:
8/7/05 1:14pm
Subject:
Stories That Must Not Be Told
Like any crazed H.P. Lovecraft fanatic, I have many stories which should not be told. As such -- I'm sure many people here have similar stories -- the Birrers, for instance. Nevertheless, people should hear them, for they shall serve as a warning to others.
The Thing in the Freezer
: Part One
It was the afternoon of August 7th -- the year of which I cannot remember. I only remember the date because it was the anniversary of my wedding, to a girl whose name is inconsequential to this account of the happenings which transpired that day.
This story actually begins the day before. My wife had opened the door to the garage, hoping to enter and find some of her old exercise equipment. The air was still, as if waiting for just such a moment. The difference in air temperatures between the 2 sections of the house created movement in the air -- the cool air from the house rushed into the garage, while the warmer air rushed into the house -- right at head level.
This smell -- no, a
stench
-- no, whatever this odor was, it has no name, and should not be named. Those of us fortunate enough to live in the light can often go our entire lives without having to experience this odor -- it is something most foul -- something which only the minions of Nurgle, and the Great Unclean One himself, take great pleasure in.
My wife gagged. She reeled back and shut the door.
She immediately came to me and told me of her experience, and wanted something done about it. The day before, there was no odor in the garage -- we could only speculate that the compressor in the fridge we kept in there had gone out, and whatever had remained in the freezer had gone...
bad
.
Something had to be done -- quick. Nevertheless, I had a 4pm tee time at the golf course, so obviously, I put it off until the next day.
That brings us back to the beginning of my tale.
I used the remote garage door opener to open the door and let the area ventilate for a few minutes. I had no idea how to approach the situation -- only that it had to be done. I decided to mow the lawn and try to come up with a plan.
Thirty minutes had passed. I was happy to find that the newly seeded areas of my lawn had new growth, yet was reminded that I still had one section of my sprinkling system to repair -- and many roots still needed to be hacked away before I could start. When one is as busy as I am, every positive thought in one's mind is often accompanied by a reminder that something else needs to be done. I reached for the axe.
No -- a fly landed on the wall in front of me. This miniscule minion of Nurgle had come to remind me of the more pressing task at hand...
More to come later.
-----signature-----
Christmas trees are like a woman's breasts --
When you wish to compliment them,
if they're fake, you say they look real,
and if they're real, you say they look fake.
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Kaety
Registered:
Jan '05
Date Posted:
8/7/05 2:14pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
Ah, yes the creatures that invade our refrigerators and freezers. Every now and then they break through the planer barrier and manifest themselves in our sacred food receptacles. Many years ago, we had a demon infestation that started out as a lasagna that was forgotten in the back of the fridge for far too long. The demon possessed it and proceeded to devour not only the lasagna but also the metal pan. It nearly escaped it's container to reek havoc in our kitchen but finally I remembered the lasagna. When I pulled it out of the fridge there were holes dissolved into the bottom of the pan. Evidence of the demons futile efforts to escape. I had to sacrifice the pan to be rid of the evil lasagna demon.
So what happened Zoom...finish the story!!!
-----signature-----
"..in the future when we learn secrets from the other side of infinity."
-Black Holes, Denver Museum of Nature and Science
huh?
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Kaety
Registered:
Jan '05
Date Posted:
8/28/05 9:37pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
There is evil in the paint department. It lurks quietly...
It is called Blue Doom!
I want to paint my wall with it so I can blame the paint for any doom that befalls my family room...unfortunately, true to its name, it clashes horribly with my existing paint and therefore brings doom upon my project just to use it...
-----signature-----
"..in the future when we learn secrets from the other side of infinity."
-Black Holes, Denver Museum of Nature and Science
huh?
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Kaety
Registered:
Jan '05
Date Posted:
8/29/05 10:05am
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
Speaking of doom...
My best friend calls me the other day and says "Guess what, we just bought a house for $3,000 and we put our house on the market. It doesn't have a bathroom, yet, but we could live in it...after we build a new wall on one side, and patch all the other places where you can see daylight, and put in the missing windows, and find some carpet for the floors..."
-----signature-----
"..in the future when we learn secrets from the other side of infinity."
-Black Holes, Denver Museum of Nature and Science
huh?
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Kaety
Registered:
Jan '05
Date Posted:
9/4/05 9:02am
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
I bought a Color Atlas of Human Anatomy for my friend who is studying to be a Pharmacist... Those pictures of real body parts made me want to hurl.
-----signature-----
"..in the future when we learn secrets from the other side of infinity."
-Black Holes, Denver Museum of Nature and Science
huh?
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RubberDuckTape
Title:
Southern CO Chapter Rep
Registered:
Oct '03
Date Posted:
9/7/05 4:24pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
I'm afraid of a house that costs $3,000. Is it inside a landfill? Does it have an Indian Burial ground underneath it?
-----signature-----
Am I supposed to feel my eyebrows?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You got a giant head like that and you know nothing? C'mon
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Imperial_Birrer
Title:
Former Chapter Rep Southern CO FF
Registered:
Jan '03
Date Posted:
9/7/05 4:33pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
Kaety, I have pics of injuries, not just anatomy- that will make you puke for sure. My favorite is the foot looking thing that used to be a hand.
-----signature-----
There are two kinds of pedestrians - the quick and the dead.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
Diplomacy is only saying "nice dog" until you pick up a rock.
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Darth_Nast_T
Registered:
Apr '05
Date Posted:
9/7/05 6:27pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
$3000 house = small pile of old 2x4s, bricks, broken concrete, and a door (we supplied the door)...
This is pure speculation of course...
-----signature-----
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
-Samuel Clemens
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Zoom_Cthooga
Title:
Former Southern CO Chapter Rep
Registered:
Jun '04
Date Posted:
9/7/05 7:07pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
I still need to finish my story...
But not tonight.
On the $3,000 house, did they mention if they had to paint over the blood-spattered walls, or if they were just going to get some maroon paint and add to the patterns, Martha Stewart-style?
-----signature-----
Christmas trees are like a woman's breasts --
When you wish to compliment them,
if they're fake, you say they look real,
and if they're real, you say they look fake.
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Darth_Nast_T
Registered:
Apr '05
Date Posted:
9/7/05 8:52pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
Walls? What walls?
-----signature-----
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
-Samuel Clemens
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Kaety
Registered:
Jan '05
Date Posted:
9/7/05 9:12pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
It has walls - at least a few...
One room has walls and ceiling made of that 1970's paneling but there is no insulation behind it... oh, and my favorite part is the bedroom door - it is one of those flexible plastic ones that accordian open to the side.
There is a curved section of wall in one room with a window that reminds me of a drivethrough. Maybe they should remodel it into some sort of bizarre restaurant.
-----signature-----
"..in the future when we learn secrets from the other side of infinity."
-Black Holes, Denver Museum of Nature and Science
huh?
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Bloodclaw65
Title:
Mos Alba FF
501st Liaison
Registered:
Nov '04
Date Posted:
9/11/05 9:05am
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
-----signature-----
TD-1982 501st Dewback Ridge Squad
Death. before. Dishonor
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Kaety
Registered:
Jan '05
Date Posted:
9/12/05 7:22am
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
This is the story of two beautiful little girls...
One day they were having so much fun that they were running as fast as they could and got all tangled up together and had a major gravity storm... One ended up with tiny scabs all over her forehead and cheeks and a huge scabbed up nose...how did the other fare?????
-----signature-----
"..in the future when we learn secrets from the other side of infinity."
-Black Holes, Denver Museum of Nature and Science
huh?
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RubberDuckTape
Title:
Southern CO Chapter Rep
Registered:
Oct '03
Date Posted:
9/13/05 7:39am
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
The other little girl fared about the same. Her eye is now almost back to normal size, it never swelled closed at least. Her line across her lips seems to be fading a bit, and the nose hasn't scabbed where the skin got roughed up. The split lip seems to be healing and she will actually drink from cups again, versus the day of "I need a straw" that followed the
Incident
.
On a side note, she wanted her hair up in pigtails yesterday for some reason, and we had a scavenger hunt on Sunday. She made up all the clues. She then put the clues by the answer, so we need to work on the concept just a little.
"Look for the T, it's an unslimy clue. It's near the water" (or something like that...which was by my ice tea maker)
-----signature-----
Am I supposed to feel my eyebrows?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You got a giant head like that and you know nothing? C'mon
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Darth_Nast_T
Registered:
Apr '05
Date Posted:
9/13/05 11:50am
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
Bwahahahaha!!!!!
My evil influence spreads!!!
-----signature-----
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
-Samuel Clemens
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Zoom_Cthooga
Title:
Former Southern CO Chapter Rep
Registered:
Jun '04
Date Posted:
9/13/05 12:30pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
She actually had some really good clues, but she didn't quite understand that the clues were NOT supposed to be placed on top of what the clue was pointing to. But...she's been playing with them ever since.
-----signature-----
Christmas trees are like a woman's breasts --
When you wish to compliment them,
if they're fake, you say they look real,
and if they're real, you say they look fake.
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Jedi Council Forums
FanForce USA - SouthWest
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Southern Colorado, CO
»
Contacts:
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RubberDuckTape
| Southwest FanForce RSAs:
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Jedi_Knight_Birr
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