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Topic:
Stories That Must Not Be Told
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Zoom_Cthooga
Title: Former Southern CO Chapter Rep
Registered:
Jun '04
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Date Posted:
10/14/05 12:27am
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
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The Thing in the Freezer: Part Two
I could not comprehend what horrors awaited me behind the door of the freezer. It had been weeks since I had last surveyed the contents, and at best this is what I could remember:
5 pound bag of chicken
2 dozen orange cremesicles made with real orange juice
2 dozen assorted popsicles made with 10% real fruit juice
1 dozen corn dogs
Maybe some pork chops
Maybe some ground beef
Maybe some pre-made hamburger patties
I had come prepared. I was wearing old clothes, safety goggles, rubber gloves, and a respirator rated for organic vapors. With me, I also had a bottle of Pine-Sol cleaner, an aerosol can of Lysol, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, 4 old towels, and a dozen heavy duty trash bags. No doubt, if a source of fire was nearby, this would be the recipe for disaster.
I eased towards the freezer, trying to keep my actions slow and smooth so as not to disturb the plague of flies that had collected on the door of the freezer. A small contingent of Nurgle's army escorted me to the door, as the rest of the army waited nervously, clinging to the door and the rubber vacuum seal along where the door met the freezer itself.
I firmly gripped the handle of the freezer, and attempted to use a slow pressure to pull the door open. For a brief moment the door eased along with me, and I heard hiss of the vacuum seal being broken. All was well -- the flies were undisturbed, and the door was coming open.
At this point, I noticed the puddle translucent...goop...oozing out from where I can only guess the opening in the vacuum seal was. Trails of a darker fluid mixed with the thicker translucent liquid, creating a marbelized puddle on the floor which was slowly making its way to my feet. I stepped back to avoid the puddle.
I cannot be sure what happened next. This I can tell you -- I heard what sounded like a crack of dried mucous from within the freezer and the door jumped open. I was engulfed by the cloud of angered flies, and I suddenly had wished I was wearing earplugs -- not because of the angry demonic sound of their zealous hunger, but because they were crawling on me and I could feel them on my ears. I was sure one of them would crawl deeper in a panic. Next I was hit by the dead, rotten air from within the freezer. While the respirator prevented me from smelling the air, the putrescence immediately stung at my eyes. I shirked back slightly, and in the panic of it all I was not prepared for what I had seen inside.
Mind you -- this all took place in roughly 3 seconds. The shock made me queasy and I fought back the urge to vomit. While I held back, the respirator trapped the odor, and I immediately removed the device out of sheer panic. That's when everything hit me. The stench had increased a thousand-fold, and suddenly everything seemed hazy. I ran out of the garage, down the driveway to the street so I could collect myself and regroup.
Minutes later, I returned. No respirator, no safety glasses. It was just me and my rubber gloves. I said my peace with Nurgle, ordering his spirit from my garage, with the promise that the spoils of war would still be his, but in a place where his minions could thrive undisturbed -- my garage would not be that place.
Every few minutes I would leave the garage and take several deep breaths before holding my breath. Each time would allow me just over a minute to work as fast as I could to collect the items inside the freezer and place them in a trash bag. I believe it took me just over a dozen times to do this. Once the freezer was barren of items, I poured in copious amounts of the various cleaning liquids I had brought with me, occasionally spraying a thick film of Lysol over every visible surface of the freezer. I soaked up what remained with the towels, and packed everything into that vile trash bag of things I shall not name, or even attempt to remember.
One bag was not enough. I placed this bag into another, and yet another, and yet another. I began soaking the inside of each bag with Lysol with each additional iteration. I used all 12 bags I brought. I allowed the flammable mixture of cleaning agents to evaporate thoroughly, and could eventually go back to spray a new layer of Lysol on everything every hour or so until the can was empty, and hours later I closed up the garage, leaving the back door to the backyard open for additional ventilation.
The bag of unspeakable items sat in our driveway for 5 days in the hot summer sun...rotting away...until trash day finally came. When the trash man moved to pick it up, even he stepped back to contemplate his actions. Something had eaten through part of the bag overnight, and the smell was starting to leak out again. Only something truly vile can make a trash man take a step back. He positioned himself to make the most use of his leverage, and in one heave threw the bag into the deepest reaches of the trash truck, no doubt hoping the rest of the trash would cover it up.
I watched the truck leave, and with it, my anxiety.
That is, until I remembered that the inside of the freezer still needs to be completely scrubbed down before I could call to have it hauled off...
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*~In Memory of Imperial_Birrer~*
*~He was Number One~*
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RubberDuckTape
Title: Southern CO Chapter Rep
Registered:
Oct '03
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Date Posted:
11/26/05 3:21pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
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It was a typical fall day, a brisk breeze blowing, the sun shining but not quite warming the air, nothing out of the ordinary, except the fate that awaited me.
I prepared myself as best I could, the oldest clothes available, the only rubber gloves I could find, the respirator affixed to my face, I considered safety goggles, but couldn't find any. Never before had I wished for a haz-mat suit of my own so strongly. An innocent bystander might have laughed at the way I looked, the way the French people jeered as the aristocrats made their way to Madame Guillotine, but my associate, who knew what I faced, wished me luck and promised me an honorable funeral if I failed. I know he was praying I would succeed, otherwise the task would fall to him.
I approached the monster, warily and with a bottle of spray bleach held ready. It mocked me with it's innocence, but I knew the secrets it held. I would not fall victim to it like so many before.
I pulled the door open, stepping back quickly as I did. Even through the respirator I still caught enough of the odor to gag. As I caught my breath, I peered into the interior. Was that...a champagne bottle? Now so covered by mold, it was hard to tell. There were some other boxes inside holding bottles, unreadable for the mold that covered them as well. I feared to open the freezer compartment, but knew it couldn't be avoided.
Pulling open the top door, I stepped back and tried not to look directly at what was inside. The wrappers of melted freezer pops, looking so helpless and innocent nearly tempted me to reach in, but at the last moment I remembered that they had been a prisoner of the monster for many months now and no doubt bore its taint.
After convincing myself I could continue, I reached into the monster and took out the bottles from its stomach. Egads! the champagne sized bottle was OPEN! I had to quickly empty its contents before the crawled out and attacked me. Have you ever seen moldy champagne? If not, then consider yourself lucky. I know I will never be able to face that substance again without thinking of this day.
I doused the monster with the bleach spray and stepped back for a few minutes to let the cleaner take effect. I swear I saw it shudder as if in pain. Before I lost my nerve, I attacked it with the water, set to the most powerful stream I could manage. The drawers proved to be stubborn, but I was able to wrestle them out.
As I was spraying the monster from a safe distance, something floated out of the bottom. All I can figure is that at one point it was a straw from a juice box. I hesitate to tell you what it resembled, not only because I don't want you to be plagued with nightmares about it, but I believe describing it would further its influence on me and I might succumb to its EVIL.
After many rounds of wresting the monster and trying to kill it with bleach, I looked down at my hands to see that the gloves were failing me. I had to hurry before I was contaminated by the monster's juice.
There was one last holdout of vileness. I will never know what it once was, but it was a perfect square of mold. Abandoning my bleach and water, which were having no effect on it, I went in search of a stick. A long stick.
Finding a suitable stick was not as difficult as I fear, and I was able to return to the mold before it could escape. As soon as I started scraping it, it crumbled. Quickly I washed the pieces away and doused them with more bleach before they could spread.
With the last square of mold floating away, I faced the monster with no fear. It would never harm another innocent person again, and now the souls of those it took could rest in peace. The monster had been slain and all that was left was to have the carcass hauled away.
-----signature-----
Am I supposed to feel my eyebrows?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The papa Pirate said, "My gruel is too hot."
The mama Pirate said, "My gruel is too hot, too,"
The baby Pirate said, "I'm really sick and tired of gruel!"
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Mistress
Title: Former CR
SCFF
Registered:
Oct '02
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Date Posted:
11/28/05 2:08pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
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Holy Carp!! Was that the champagne from New Years?!!!
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"For man, when perfected, is the best of animals, but, when separated from law and justice, he is the worst of all." Aristotle
Proud member of the "Prayer for Palin" brigade...we pray for no Palin.
Today's episode has been brought to you by the number e.
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RubberDuckTape
Title: Southern CO Chapter Rep
Registered:
Oct '03
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Date Posted:
11/28/05 4:43pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
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Yes, yes it was.
-----signature-----
Am I supposed to feel my eyebrows?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The papa Pirate said, "My gruel is too hot."
The mama Pirate said, "My gruel is too hot, too,"
The baby Pirate said, "I'm really sick and tired of gruel!"
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Zoom_Cthooga
Title: Former Southern CO Chapter Rep
Registered:
Jun '04
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Date Posted:
11/28/05 5:03pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
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New Year's? I wondered why we had a bottle.
Cuz the only champagne *^-_-<<I>>-_-^* drink comes out of a box. Hmph.
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*~In Memory of Imperial_Birrer~*
*~He was Number One~*
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Jedi Girl of Corellia
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered:
Jun '00
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Date Posted:
11/28/05 6:46pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
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Wow! Don't ever tell my mom your fridge was in that condition, she freaks out if we spill anything in it. The one at college on the other hand.... did you know oven cleaner works well to rid a pot of five month old chili??
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"We're not dead, we have cable!" Mac and Sarah Take on the Pacific Northwest Our Blog: http://community.livejournal.com/sarahzillamac
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BrotherHalo
Title: RSA Emeritus and Heckler
Registered:
May '03
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Date Posted:
11/29/05 10:54am
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
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There are just some things that should not be told. This story is definitely one.
It will be my duty to not share this story with everyone I know.
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TB4692
501st Legion >> Mountain Garrison >> Dewback Ridge Squad
Mountain Garrison Web Liaison
501st Pathfinders Detachment Merchandise Officer
~RIP Clay. You'll be missed.~
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RubberDuckTape
Title: Southern CO Chapter Rep
Registered:
Oct '03
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Date Posted:
11/29/05 11:30am
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
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I'd just like to note at this point, this was our SPARE fridge, not the one we actually use...or had used since early in the summer.
-----signature-----
Am I supposed to feel my eyebrows?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The papa Pirate said, "My gruel is too hot."
The mama Pirate said, "My gruel is too hot, too,"
The baby Pirate said, "I'm really sick and tired of gruel!"
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Darth_Nast_T
Registered:
Apr '05
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Date Posted:
12/15/05 8:55pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
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I'm afraid to open the drawers in our spare fridge...
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
-Samuel Clemens
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Kaety
Registered:
Jan '05
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Date Posted:
6/7/06 2:48pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
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I just thought I would post here so we don't lose this thread to the black-line-through-the-words monster that was about to gobble it up.
Today's story:
This town smells like a story that must not be told. I think thousands of animals have surrounded our town and have died and quickly rotterd after excereting some pretty smelly stuff first. It really stinks here for the 3rd day in a row. I hope they fix it soon!!! 
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"..in the future when we learn secrets from the other side of infinity."
-Black Holes, Denver Museum of Nature and Science
huh?
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Zoom_Cthooga
Title: Former Southern CO Chapter Rep
Registered:
Jun '04
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Date Posted:
6/7/06 8:36pm
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
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Is that why you don't have any water?
I mean...no showers, no washing hands...ummm...how do you...?  
At least you're getting practice for the zombie outbreak when all utilities are shut down.
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*~In Memory of Imperial_Birrer~*
*~He was Number One~*
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Kaety
Registered:
Jan '05
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Date Posted:
6/8/06 6:19am
Subject:
RE: Stories That Must Not Be Told
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Oh, we have water. That was awhile ago when they kept turning it off during the day to fix the main line. But I do think they are planning on re-doing the entire water/sewer system this summer. Maybe they have started that project and that is why it has been stinking or maybe it is just evidence that they need to get started RIGHT AWAY! I don't know. This morning it seems to be going away though....hallelulah!
But you're right. I bet it did increase my zombie survivability. I did pretty good on that test already. If I got myself a cool zombie gun I bet I would make it! 
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"..in the future when we learn secrets from the other side of infinity."
-Black Holes, Denver Museum of Nature and Science
huh?
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