Author Topic: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 11/2/09
dianethx  14888 posts
Registered: Mar '02
Date Posted: 4/15/03 5:57pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/13
forever_jedi - You are right about DRL. Mondays are always hectic for me. Loved the little thing about the pit-droids!

Surprisingly I've never seen any of the Hannibal movies but I have seen the commercials. Yes, Sidious is a lot like that but with more brains and absolute power!! Good for him, bad for the galaxy. We'll have to see about the ending. So, being thrown down the Deathstar pit wasn't bad enough...LOL.

Yes, Jinn and slaves...I won't say any more at this time...maybe later.

Shaindl Glad you liked the malice and evil. Oh, I liked the You write Palpatine (like every other character) so well. The descriptions just added to the entire atmosphere of darkness. Thanks. I try, I really do.

As for your stories, the comments were well deserved. Now go write!


Healer_Leona Glad you liked the descriptions so much. I'm always afraid that I might have gone over the top when I put a lot of description in but, so far, people have seemed to like it. Oh the post drip with the Dark Side!! I like that.

Yes, Jinn and slaves... so many questions and most of them will be answered in time. Yes, where is Shmi? Anakin's at the ranch and Jinn is pretty rich...She could be free, she could be dead, she could be married and living happily with Clieg....I'm not saying now...maybe later...LOL.

Waiting for Sithy Thursday...

 

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Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09
jedidas3's Master
Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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PadawanKitara  7976 posts
Registered: Dec '01
6383_Bariss (71809)
Date Posted: 4/15/03 8:21pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/13
I finally had time to sit down and read this all in two sittings. This is quite the undertaking. I am enjoying your characters and their emotional search to find a balance between duty and compassion.

I'm not verbose in my replies like some of your other denziens, but it doesn't mean I enjoy it any less.

 

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We are Dufi...Resistance is Futile!
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dianethx  14888 posts
Registered: Mar '02
Date Posted: 4/16/03 4:01am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/13
Kitara - So glad you could join us. Don't worry if you aren't as verbose as some of the others. Just a quick note that you liked it or (heaven forbid) hated it or that you are even here is wonderful!

I'll be posting on Mondays and Thursdays so you don't have long to wait between updates.

 

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Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09
jedidas3's Master
Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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Arldetta  1827 posts
Registered: Jul '02
40072_Jedi
Date Posted: 4/16/03 1:44pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/13
dianethx - Sorry it took me so long to respond. I wanted to make sure I devoted enough time to both reading and formulating a proper response. With that said let me begin.

Honestly, I am getting an almost sick feeling inside me when I try and figure out Qui-Gon's and Obi-Wan's motives. I know Obi-Wan is a Jedi through and through, so I understand why he hasn't left the Order. But only to a degree, if he dislikes what the Jedi have become, he should just leave. And that's frustrating me. But Master Clunkhead, I'm even more perplexed about. As soon as he left, he should have attempted to contact Obi after the few months. Could he not overlook his pride and seek out the young man who was a son to him? Saying that Obi will contact him if he needs to, is a lame excuse. And to assume that Obi would not come to help him is just ludicrous.

I feel so sorry for Obi. He's been set up. The 'Council' deliberately sent him because they wanted to torment him and betray the one person that meant more to him than life itself. With their constant changes, he's even compromised the situation with his Padawan. I hope Obi can find a friend somewhere. Does Qui really know how much Obi has gone through in the course of his Knighthood? I don't think so.

I hope and pray that somehow someway things will work out, but I feel that our Favoutire Knight will be ridiculed and ostrasized before all is said and done. You are doing a superb job, I can't wait to see what vicious Palpy and his dog Maul have in store for Qui and his followers.

Will check back in tomorrow for a post. wink


P.S. - Thanks for voting for me. I know the choices were tough, may the best fic/author win. I wish you luck in your catagory as well. wink grin

 

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dianethx  14888 posts
Registered: Mar '02
Date Posted: 4/16/03 4:36pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/13 - Date Edited: 4/17/03 3:50am (1 edits total) Edited By: dianethx
I have the 200th post....Hurray!!

Hi Arldetta So many questions and I can't answer them all because then I would be giving away some of the plot. Needless to say, some are answered in Chapters 12 and 14 (sorry about that but that's where they are).

However, don't get frustrated. I adore both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan and, as the author, I can say without question, that they both have good motives for doing what they are doing.

Now, to Obi-Wan's motivation about not leaving the Jedi even though they are getting darker and darker...It wasn't that bad to begin with but has been accelerating over time. It is only now (or soon) that he realizes (will realize) just how bad it is and then he has to decide whether to go or stay.

However, his dilemma is based on real life. Very often, people will not leave situations that may be distasteful to others, even life-threatening in some cases. Just read the newspaper - they are in there every day and it's from every walk of life, rich, poor, foolish, brave. There are always reasons to stay, even if they seem ridiculous to those on the outside. You would think that Obi-Wan was smarter than that but I've known some pretty smart people doing really stupid things. So, don't be frustrated that Obi-Wan hasn't left the Order just because they have a "few" problems.
Of course, now that he is away from the Temple and looking at another way of life, he is beginning to see that there is more than the Order -despite his loyality and deep sense of duty.

As for Qui-Gon contacting Obi-Wan, if you remember, the conversation about that was terminated prematurely when Le'orath got a little pushy about the whole thing. They will be having another conversation in Chapter 14. However, in the original Story "But" there was an explaination - Here is the quote:

He stopped and looked at Obi-Wan with tears in his eyes. "They took my lightsaber, they took my Jedi garb, they took my calling and worst of all, they took away my Padawan."
Obi-Wan reached out and gripped his Master's hand, still confused. "You aren't making any sense. How can they take me away from you?"
"Padawan, I am not allowed to contact you again."
"What!" Obi-Wan's anger was almost palpable.
"If, after six months you wish to speak with me, you will be allowed to. However, I don't think that is a good idea."
"Master, you are not making sense again. Why shouldn't I?" His anger was fraying into confusion.
"They are punishing anyone who fails even once." Qui-Gon placed his hand upon his Padawan's shoulder and smiled slightly. "I know that you will not fail. But they may think that you are tainted by my failures or my defiance of the Council's orders. You can't afford to contact me."
"I don't care about that."
"But you must think about it."


Boy, that was a long quote...Hope that clears some things up.

As for Obi-Wan being set-up...you are quite correct...in more ways than one. And Qui-Gon is not aware of everything that Obi-Wan has gone through (the Temple is remarkably closemouthed about the inner workings of the current Order).

Thanks for all the questions. I'm just sorry that I can't answer them all at this time...However, you did make me think about some of the plot holes and how to plug them before the end of the story...LOL.

As for the voting...you did the best job in those catagories - IMHO. As for me, I was just thrilled to be nominated. To me, that was the prize!!!




 

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Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09
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Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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dianethx  14888 posts
Registered: Mar '02
Date Posted: 4/17/03 3:56am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/13
Okay, here's the next part of the Sithy post. Enjoy....
---------------------------

"Now, rise my apprentice. Time for a little sport."

Darth Sidious moved towards the hologram generator, gesturing Lord Maul into a midnight-hued corner, hidden from view but not out of earshot. The dark Master pressed a button and a deformed, flickering figure appeared above the desk.

"My Lord, greetings. How may I serve you?" The voice was as distorted as the figure, giving no clue as to the identity of the being.

"Is this connection secure?" Sidious demanded in stern, adamant tones. Any detection at this critical juncture would be disastrous to his plans.

The voice was tenuous and cringing. "Of...of course, my Lord."

"Good. I would not wish to find that you have been neglectful." The Sith's threat was real, razor-sharp but then the tone softened into false rapport. "My friend, it is good to hear from you once more. How goes our little venture with Kenobi? I assume that he has arrested Jinn and they are on their way back to Coruscant."

The response reflected quivering fear and astonishment, terrified that the news would not be well received. "I....my... my Lord, Kenobi has only just arrived. He has not had time to investigate the charges as yet. I hope that, in a few days, he will return with Jinn."

"The Jedi Council is shockingly slow and pathetic in understanding how to control their people. Kenobi should have been ordered to arrest Jinn immediately upon arrival. Surely, you could have arranged that?" The contempt was absolute.

"The Council was rather resistant, my Lord. They insist that the law must be obeyed as well as the Code. But it will be done. Kenobi will arrest Jinn and bring him back to Coruscant."

"Would you bet your life on it?" The Master's husky voice echoed in the air, threateningly clear.

"Of...of course, my Lord. Jinn has been quite active in things he should not, things that can be quickly uncovered. But, to make sure he is apprehended, I planted undeniable evidence of Force misuse where Kenobi is sure to find it. It is hidden deep; we would not want him to locate it too quickly and be suspicious of an easy gift." The voice giggled, shrill with apprehension. "Kenobi will be drawn into the trap quite easily. He will have no choice but to bring back his former Master under arrest."

"What then? Will your simpering Jedi Council treat him with reverence or will he get what he deserves....a painful and slow death?"

The figure cringed; the dark Master would not like the answer. "Death, my Lord? They will not kill him. Imprisonment, exile to a penal planet, yes but death...."

The Sith cut through the tirade. Low, growling, but perfectly clear, he said. "I want Jinn dead. He has been a vibroblade in my side for far too long. If the Council will not kill him, then you must." The wavering shape cowered, denying the command. "You are mine, you little fool. I have given you wealth, power and slaves. Now, do as I say or else you will be destroyed." The figure bowed once, nodding reluctantly. "Kill him fast or kill him slow. Make it look like suicide or murder. I do not care. Just kill him when he returns to Coruscant."

"Yes...my Lord. I will send you word of his demise when it is done. Have you any other instructions?"

The dark Master smiled with satisfaction. "No, my friend. You have done much for me. Once Jinn is dead, your reward shall be great. Until then."

As the pathetic transparent figure disappeared, unbeknownst to the loathsome trio, from deep in the bowels of the vast city-planet, an automatic recording device clicked off. Security, it seemed, was a little lax.

Within the luxurious apartment, Darth Sidious enjoyed a moment of perfect contemplation. Then, motioning his apprentice to his side, he moved to the window, rubbing his hands together with delicious glee and began to laugh. Maul shook his head and grinned.

"What a fool. Reward, indeed. Oh, yes, you will be rewarded." The Master continued to chuckle, thinking of the excruciating torments his gullible agent would experience once the cretin's use was over.

He glanced at his apprentice, still smirking with satisfaction.

"Lord Maul, return to Geonosis and assist Dooku in his campaign. Make sure that he does not stray from our agenda. I would not want this to fall apart when we are so close." The apprentice bent his head in acknowledgement. "In a few days, I have an additional assignment for you. A vacation, if you will, for all of your efforts. Jinn's demise will be tragic, of course, but the deaths of his wife and son will be more so. If the child had been older, we could have sent him on to the slavers but, as it is....no matter. Play with them if you wish but I want the complete destruction of his lands and family when you are done. Let those fools learn why attachments should remain forbidden."

The Sith Master smiled, snake-bright, at such folly. "Love and compassion. What simpletons they are. The only true emotion is hate, seething, boiling hate. Dark, rich, intoxicating. The Jedi think that it is the Force, but, Maul, you and I know the truth. It is hate that binds the galaxy together."



 

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Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09
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Aunecah_Skywalker  5123 posts
Registered: Mar '02
23966_Natalie Portman
Date Posted: 4/17/03 5:56am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/17
Yep, it's official. Sidious is digging his own grave, and he's also digging Maul's grave for free. Isn't he generous? silly

Nicely done, dianethx. Now I want to know who this mysterious person is who read in on the trio's conversation; it can't be Obi-Wan because he isn't here c so, who? It will be interesting to know.

Don't have the energy to say much more than "good job" for today.

Aunecah

 

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Arldetta  1827 posts
Registered: Jul '02
40072_Jedi
Date Posted: 4/17/03 7:23am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/17
dianethx - Wow, you've given me a lot to think about. That's good. wink

First off, Congratulations on your 200th Post!! This fic well deserves it. happy

Secondly, in regards to your previous comments. I gathered that most would not be answered, and it's alright, I understand why. But it's still frustrating. I adore Obi as well, Qui I tend to be a little iffy about. He has his heart in the right place, just doesn't show it too well. I'm sure their motives are valid, it's just sometimes hard to understand when you only have a few pieces of the puzzle. But that's alright because that's what keeps us coming back. wink

I wouldn't be surprised if Obi questions his loyalty soon. I can also see that, in his own way he stayed in the hopes of reversing some of the damage made by the Senate. But as he fought a one maned battle, he soon found the opposition too overwhelming. And with some of the things he experienced, it would be hard not to give up the fight. I just have one other question; you mentioned Qui did not know everything Obi's gone through, so my question is, do we know? We know what he suffered in the cells beneath the Temple, but was that all? Was there more to breaking his spirit than a single room? Was he trapped/blackmailed into staying? I can believe that. And I don't want to force you into revealing too much too soon. But I am curious. blush

Yes, I can attest to that sort of mentality. My husband hated his previous job. Despised it with a passion. And after long deliberation and planning we decided it would be better if he quit. We have struggled since then, but for the sake of sanity, mine as well as his, it was better this way.

I read "But" after I caught up here before. And I do understand most of what Qui reasoned there. And it was at the point of his dismissal. I want to know what he was thinking after the 6 months and beyond. However, I will try to be patient and let the story unfold. But I'm not very good at patience. tongue

I knew Obi was being set up, but to what extent I wonder? confused I bet it's going to be on more than one level, I just would like to know more about it. I hope he will be strong enough to make it through. *sigh*

Well, I am glad my pesterance was helpful in some ways. laugh Normally, I would find myself too annoying to be bothered with. LOL.

And I agree with you, being nominated was such an awesome thrill, when I saw the nomination thread and someone nominating my stories I literally cried. It wasn't even official yet, but the fact that someone thought enough of my work to suggest me for nomination was the most wonderful experience I've had in a long time. Quite Honestly, I wasn't expecting much for 'Forsaken' and was thrilled when it made it into two cats. But I was really happy and excited when 'From the Ashes' made it in. It was a risk I took and it ended up being a BIG hitter. I love that story, it's one of my favs. And I am overly critical of my work, so to me it says a lot. So I'm trying to get ready when it doesn't win. wink I'm sure you will do well, you are a fantastic writer!! grin


Lastly, Now I am extremely intrigued with what Sidious has in mind. He has an insider, sounds like the offical that sent Obi on the hunt for his Master. But things can be decieving, so I won't bank on it yet. It's possible it's someone within Jinn's new organization, and I'm sure it would be an unlikely person, but I wonder who? confused I can't wait to find out. So, Sid wants Jinn dead? And when Jinn's gone, who will be next? angry That is down right dispicable!! When there is a source of pure evil, nothing is sacred. I hope somehow Obi is able to protect Jinn's family, if Qui is taken back to Coruscant. I truely hope so.

Well, now that I've written you an overly elaborate book, I think I'll shut up now. wink Wonderful chapter. Can't wait to see how the everything works out.

**sits back to wait eagerly for Monday** grin grin

 

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Being Normal only happens to those not creative enough to develop their own psychosis. - me wink
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forever_jedi  9318 posts
Registered: Jun '02
39903_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 4/17/03 8:39am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/17
Ah Sidious! Sidious! Don't you know what your own weakness is? It is ARROGANCE, my friend, and I do hope you give in to it! I foresee that it will bring you the greatest punishment of all!

So, Sidious has set up Obi-Wan and to some extent Qui-Gon as well, if the latter still has a lot of affection left for Obi-Wan (in the middle of his new life) to not want harm to come to Obi-Wan. I hope these two guys use their intelligence and seek guidance from the Force in NOT falling into Sid's trap; that would be foolish indeed.

Wonderful portrayal of the inner workings of Sidious, Diane.

And now a word to you and also Arldetta: Your nominations were extremely well-deserved. I have been reading up nominated fiction that I had missed previously and it's amazing how good it all is! So, bask in the well-merited sunny feeling of a job very well done, and leave all the insecure, modest feelings to the Obi-Wan of many fan-fiction!

 

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LuvEwan  4689 posts
Registered: Mar '02
51133_WH106: Anakin and Obi-Wan
Date Posted: 4/17/03 3:03pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/17
Sick post, diane. Just sick.

silly

You really capture the pure darkness in Sidious here. Your words sound carefully chosen to ensure that. Wonderful job. wink

And I know how you can save Qui-Gon from that grisly fate!!! Ani and Qui-Gon are probably around the same height, so if Ani just grows his hair out and has his back turned.... devil

sigh..I guess that won't happen.

darn. grin

 

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What Light Breaks-AU Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon Anakin angst (collaboration with Spiritweaver) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/29979222/p1/?0
You want an Obi-Wan epic? We've got it right here. cowboy
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dianethx  14888 posts
Registered: Mar '02
Date Posted: 4/17/03 4:01pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/17
Aunecah I loved your Isn't he generous?!!!!
Wow, you noticed the little security breach -hurray! I wasn't sure if anyone would notice and, no, you are right - it isn't Obi-Wan. I promise that you will find out eventually..

The post on Monday begins the investigation of Qui-Gon Jinn...The story will slow down slightly but Obi-Wan will be discovering some things over the next several posts that he really isn't happy about....you'll just have to wait and see what they are.

 

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Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09
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dianethx  14888 posts
Registered: Mar '02
Date Posted: 4/17/03 4:20pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/17
Arldetta - So many questions and it's killing me not to tell you the answers!!! But you will just have to find out one piece at a time...

Thanks for the praise, though. I can't believe I have this many posts and this many readers!!!

As for Qui-Gon, when I first started writing this fic, it was from Qui-Gon's point of view. At the time, I felt that he was the main focus (he's also my favorite character) but the further along I got, the more I realized that it has to be from Obi-Wan's perspective. Obi's the one who can see all of the changes from both sides and can reveal them best to the readers. I know that a lot of people don't like Qui-Gon but I do so he will be written fairly sympathetically (while still in keeping with his penchant for stubbornness and doing what he thinks is right - even if everyone thinks he's wrong).

The next several posts take place over a 2 day period so Obi will be discovering things that will rock his world and make him question the Order. You'll just have to wait and see what that is...

As for what Obi-Wan has suffered, no, as readers you are only going to get hints. And I'm not sure that suffered is the correct word (even though I used it). It's not so much that he has been tortured (other than that cell) but rather the constant wearing on his psyche, the ever-increasingly difficult missions, the battles with the Council (which for one who follows the rules is a torment to him). No, he did not get blackmailed into staying but with his sense of duty and fealty to his Padawan, he felt that he must stay....for now.

Yes, your husband's experience was very close to mine but I'm a LOT closer to retirement so leaving is not really an option I could freely pursue.

Yes. Obi-Wan has been set-up. You will find out who and why....

Sidious does have someone helping him but I won't tell you just yet. As for who lives and who dies, you'll just have to wait...

As with you, I am VERY overcritical of my own work. Sometimes,I think it is nothing but &)*#()@ and just want to chuck the whole thing. But, when I have such great readers, I know that it is worthwhile. Thank you so much!!

 

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Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09
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dianethx  14888 posts
Registered: Mar '02
Date Posted: 4/17/03 4:45pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/17
forever_jedi - You've hit the very essence of the Sith Lord - absolute arrogance!!

Don't worry. The Force will help our 2 heroes but there are traps and then there are traps. We shall just have to see how much of a trap Sidious and his minion has woven!

Glad you liked how I portrayed Sidious. He's just a great character.

Thanks so much for your wonderful words about Arldetta's and my fics. Like I told her, sometimes I think it is all just garbage and want to hide my head in the sand and other times, you all have been such wonderful readers that I'm just thrilled.

LuvEwan Thanks for the Wonderful job

No, I'm not going to go darkside with Anakin. Don't even go there....LOL.
Oh, did you like my "present" on your Blurred Vision post? I thought you needed a lift. It's actually from one of my romance fics (that I can't post here because of ratings restrictions - among other things) but I thought you might like that part...<snicker>

New post on Monday....

 

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Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09
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Healer_Leona  36871 posts
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered: Jul '00
8059_Qui-Gon Jinn
Date Posted: 4/18/03 8:34am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/17
Ah huh.. the line was tapped!! Only thing is who was listening in on it??? I do like Arldetta's idea that it might even be a spy of Qui-Gon's... that never even came to mind... though as I think about it why would it matter it it was someone in the Jedi Order... it's not like anyone there is doing anything to reverse their perversion.

I thought I disliked the Sith berfore??? Sidoious giving free reign to Maul to 'play' with Qui-Gon's family is more then obscene!!! Of course.. all of Sidious's arrogance is going to pay off in the exact opposite way he thinks... what he is unknowningly doing it not driving Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon apart... his whole plan will eventually force them together!! don't you just love it when a plan works... LOL!!!

Fabulous post dianethx!! happy happy

 

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dianethx  14888 posts
Registered: Mar '02
Date Posted: 4/18/03 2:42pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/17
Yes, Healer_Leona the line was tapped. You are all so perceptive. I thought for sure that I had hidden that well...I'm just going to let you keep guessing who's on the other end. You won't find out for quite a while...

I have to laugh about I thought I disliked the Sith before. I hope I didn't go over the top but Sidious is truly evil and thoroughly enjoys his evilness.

Yes, sometimes, if you push in one direction, the opposite effect shows up. Sidious is not all-powerful. He just thinks he is! Yes, I just love it when a plan works...LOL.

Oh, I like fabulous post. Just hope I can keep it up.

See you Monday...


 

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Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09
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