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Author	Topic: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 6/28/08 and thanks for the noms
jedidas3 Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 2/27 5:32am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 2/26/08
	Mace and Anakin working together! Unbelievable! However, you, my dear Master make it believable. To see both of them actually laying aside their pride to work together was amazing. Once again, after reading your outstanding update, it makes me so proud to be your Padawan. I still have so much to learn from you. Great job! -----signature----- The Past Revisited http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28440949 Lessons Learned http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28580784 Remembrance http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28009025 Padawan to dianethx
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bek Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 2/27 7:03am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 2/26/08
	"She's as stubborn as Qui-Gon and you know it. If we go to her, I'm sure we could...." Anakin was trying desperately to get Master Windu to see reason. He had to, for Le'orath's sake and Ben's. This made me laugh. It may not have been meant to, but it did. Le'orath as stubborn as the great Qui-Gon Jinn...oh, my. It's a wonder anything ever got decided in that household. I hope Anakin and Mace get to the Jinn farm in time to save Le'orath and Ben. If anything, Le'orath should be thinking of Ben and his safety. Did she have the baby yet? I keep thinking she was pregnant when Qui was taken to Coruscant. It's bad enough that Qui-Gon feels the need to do his duty to the force, but it would be sad if Ben lost both his parents or if one parent survived only to lose the other members of his or her family. Oh, and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had best live! Ya hear! Another wonderful post, Diane. I'm still enjoying this story as much as when it first began. Keep up the fantastic work! -----signature----- Update 5/26/08- Chapter 39- Life Beyond the Code (Obi-Wan/Anakin) - http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/20820324 Update 9/3/08- Chapter 26 - Not Myself - (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon/Oc's) - Before the Saga Update 9/3/08 - Part 6 - Strength to Begin Ane
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Kivas Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 2/27 7:57am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 2/26/08
	Amazing update, I was glad to see Anakin take a step back which I think is really what Mace wanted so that he himself could get past the perceived prejudices. well done. -----signature----- Spectres they may be, Your spectres they are Hurt you they can.
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Ocelotl_Nesto Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 2/27 9:32am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 2/26/08
	Great insight into Anakins charatcher... Begging is for the weak... a good point about his reluctance to ask for help in Cannon SW. that was a total Cliffie... Argh... You weave this story like master at the loom... My mother quilts too by the way and I see you do good work outside of the fan fic...
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Magier Registered: Jul '07	Date Posted: 2/27 11:33am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 2/26/08
	I can imagine everyone's shock to see Anakin begging. Thank the Force that Anakin could swallow his pride. I guess I will add that thank the Force Mace could swallow his pride and admit that he just might not be right for once -- that Anakin might be right. I hope they get there in time and I hope that they are able to defeat Maul. -----signature----- No Legacy So Rich : Xan,OC, Obi, Qui (8/08) Seekers, Not Saints: SW/TB crossover (8/12)
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Tahi Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 2/28 1:43am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 2/26/08
	Crikey that was tense! But really satisfying. I'm so glad that Anakin's concern made him overcome his pride; that's a big step for him. I love your characterisation of Mace BTW. And it was nice to see Mace being a little bit more accommodating. I especially enjoyed the evocation of Anakin's irritation - it was very effective, so much so I could feel his frustration leaking out from the page. A trickle of sweat itched past his mouth and he swiped it away, irritated. Loved that bit of description. Clouds were thickening and he could almost taste thunder in the air. Yummy description. I can imagine Jedi tasting such things with their heightened awareness. The vision was scary, and appears to leave Anakin between a rock and a hard place. I can't wait to see how it all resolves itself. This was a very exciting post, and as I said the tension was palpable. -----signature----- Anahiri #6 http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/18446448/p33 The magazine for A/T fans Many Happy Returns http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/11018706/p81/?2011 Master to THE_PIED_PIPER
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Nimloth Registered: Mar '07	Date Posted: 2/28 4:09pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 2/26/08
	I loved Anakin´s inner struggle, the dilemma between doing what his instincts and emotions want in order to save his master and what he knows it´s his duty, at risk of losing him... Fantastic interaction between Anakin and Mace! Good job!
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Independence1776 Registered: Feb '06	Date Posted: 2/28 7:09pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 2/26/08
	But... but... You can't leave off there! I'm literally on the edge of my seat with tension. This chapter was so well-written, and the emotions are wonderfully portrayed. Anakin is growing up, just a little. He still has far too much anger, but he's working with Windu. That alone is good. But please, please let them get there in time. I don't think Qui-Gon would survive for long without his family. Wonderful job! -----signature----- "Independence forever." John Adams Padawan to Luna_Nightshade Fics in bio Ever wondered what would happen if some normal students came to the Temple? Come find out: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27996678
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wolf_kenobi Registered: Nov '07	Date Posted: 3/1 6:40pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 2/26/08
	Excellent post! It was good that Anakin could find a way to swallow his pride and convince Master Windu to come. Now we can only hope that they make it in time... Really good job writing both characters! Looking forward to the next post! -----signature----- Is God willing to prevent evil but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God. -Epicurus Proud Vegan
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Healer_Leona Registered: Jul '00	Date Posted: 3/3 6:52am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 2/26/08
	Anakin's vision was horrific. Seems no matter what he tries to do he fails. While I understood Mace's reaction to Anakin's demands it still made me angry at the Bendu. When Denn talked with Anakin and explained how he needed to go about asking, beggining if necessary, I didn't think it would work. By the time Mace asked after the weaponry and speeder I was in near tears. Fantastic post Diane. -----signature----- I want to swim away but don't know how Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/8 11:15am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 2/26/08
	Everyone – the next post is with the mods. I thought it was close to the edge of violence allowed on the boards so I'm having them look it over. If it's fine, I'll post it as soon as I get it. If not, I'll have to do somewhat of a rewrite. However, I will keep the original post on my website. Keeping my fingers crossed that's it's okay. Jinngerbread – I'm also glad that Anakin put aside his pride and did what was necessary. Windu should have been more in focus with the Force but he's human, too, and can make mistakes. As for the next post, you are going to need those nails because it's probably the biggest cliffhanger I've ever written. LOL. Thanks for reading all these years! Musing – those two love to argue with each other. They were always at odds in the movies so I figure they wouldn't be any better in an AU! I'm glad that you thought I did it even-handedly. I'm not a big fan of Mace Windu but he did always try to do the right thing. As for Mace, he should have been more mindful of the Force before shoving Anakin off but he did have a lot on his mind at the time! He also was more experienced (as you said) and should have taken the high road. At least, now he's willing to go with Anakin to the Jinn's house. Whether it will be in time or if it's a wild bantha chase, you'll just have to wait and see. Thanks so much! jedidas3 – LOL on the two of them working together. It does seem a bit unbelievable, doesn't it! I think in the movies, if Mace had put aside his dislike and reached out to Anakin, things might have been very different. Thanks. I'm glad you are my Padawan, too! bek – yes, the two of them are very stubborn. It is a wonder that anything got done with the two of them at it. LOL. Mace and Anakin are trying to get there as fast as they can. Le'orath is very stubborn but I think she's got to deal with her grief at Qui-Gon leaving plus she does have work at the farm. She is thinking but just not clearly. Yes, she is 5+ months pregnant. Enough to start to feel it but not enough to be huge. She knows that she's trying to do it all but she is stubborn. And she's very angry with Qui-Gon. You'll see her in the next post. LOL on Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan living. I did warn people that characters will die in this. I'm not saying who but it's Star Wars. The plot will determine who will live and who will die. Thanks. I'm so surprised that people are still reading it after all these years. I'm just thrilled! Kivas – The two of them are usually at odds so it's a dynamic that should have been dealt with years ago. Unfortunately, the two don't get along. Mace did want Anakin to be less aggressive with his 'request'. I think Mace would have reacted differently if he had. But Anakin will be Anakin. Thanks so much for reading. Ocelotl_Nesto – I think that people tend to forget how much Anakin was affected by his slavery. It's a terrible thing and I'm sure he would want to be in control of his surrounding so much after that. He'd always see begging as weak. Just look at Padme trying to get him to go to Obi-Wan in ROTS. He wanted to do it on his own there, too. Oh, this wasn't the cliffie. That's coming up in the next post. Thanks. Quilting is fun and I get a great deal of pleasure out of it as I'm sure your Mom does. Thanks. Magier – I wanted to convey the shock that everyone felt when they saw Anakin do that. They probably all thought he'd rather die than that. I'm glad that Mace swallowed his pride and realized just how much it cost Anakin to beg. We'll find out in the next post whether they get there in time with Maul. Thanks so much for reading. Tahi – Thanks. I was going for tense. I'm glad it came across. Anakin had to get past his pride and do what was right. He loves Le'orath like a second mother and to see her and Ben get hurt… better to beg and get to them in time than not. I'm glad that Mace's characterization came through. I'm not a big fan but he does try to do what is right. He just doesn't seem to me to be very approachable, especially the way he treats Anakin in the movies. I do love description so I try and use it whenever I can. I'm happy it came through. I did like the sweat line a lot. Visions are scary especially if you think that they might come true. Rock and hard place is a good description of where Anakin is at the moment! Things are tense but it's going to get worse for a while. I only have a few more posts! Thanks so much for reading. Nimloth – I'm happy that Anakin's struggle came through. I wanted to be sympathetic to his plight and yet understand that his pride came from real problems in his youth. I'm happy that the interaction worked as well. Thanks! Independence1776 – LOL, you haven't seen anything yet! I'm thrilled that you liked the tension. I worked very hard to try and put as much emotion into the post as possible. I want the tension to be almost visible as we start to approach the end of the story. Anakin is growing up! He's still angry as you say but Windu wasn't helping the situation! At least now they are both on the same page. As for getting there in time…. you'll just have to read the next post. Thanks for commenting. wolf_kenobi – Thanks. Anakin had to get over his pride and do what was necessary. Whether it will be enough, you'll just have to keep reading! Glad you liked it. Hope the next post works! Leona – Anakin's vision did give him ideas of what not to do – like go to the Jinn farm without backup. I think that, in ordinary circumstances, Anakin would never have done what he did with Mace. His pride and the memories would have made it near impossible. But he loves the Jinn family and that was enough. Just happy you liked it. Thanks! -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 6/28/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08 Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434 Master to jedidas3 Impeach Bush!
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/10 3:55pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 2/26/08 - Date Edited: 3/10 7:42pm (3 edits total) Edited By: dianethx
	One thing - I don't mind sending PMs, really I don't but I'm getting close to the 100 mark so please, if nothing else, open up the PMs. Or else let me know that you don't want them any more. I'm fine with it! Really! Because I'm so close, if the PM doesn't get opened before the next posting, I'll have to put your name on the do-not-send-another-PM list. Sorry! The air was heavy with warning. Twisting grey clouds were billowing up over the mountains and tumbling down toward the farm, the storm moisture-laden, full of wild light and the distant sound of thunder. As Le'orath stared out the kitchen window, she saw a jagged spear of lightning hit the mountaintop and then crackle down the stony cliffs. The noisy afterburst rattled the back door; she could almost taste the ozone. It was going to be a bad one. She didn't know yet just how much damage the storm might do to the waiting crops but she tried not to worry. The fields were ripe for picking; a day, maybe two at most was all she needed. She'd arranged for additional field managers to come tomorrow for harvest. The droids she and Qui-Gon owned were adequate for gathering the biologicals but they needed constant supervision and she could not handle it alone. Qui-Gon should not have left. Shoving the thought ruthlessly aside, she tried to think of what to do next. There was so much. In her younger days, she would have been going full bore ahead but now with her son fractious and moody and the weight of her unborn child squirming in her gut, she didn't have the energy. She should have been out looking at the fields, making sure everything was ready, checking on the droids, arranging for backup in case something went wrong. Why she was cooking a dinner for Ben and herself instead of attending to business was sheer madness. She should have reheated something, made the most of the time before the hectic harvest tomorrow. Instead she was in the messy kitchen, preparing something elaborate, oil and flavorings and canisters scattered everywhere. It was something Qui-Gon would do for them, to prepare a wonderful dinner the day before harvest, and now she was doing it, just to prove that she could, to prove that she didn't need him, that she could do it all alone. He'd left her and she'd be damned if that little fact would stop the tradition - even if it had been Qui-Gon who had started it. For a moment, the memories threatened to overwhelm her. Qui-Gon Jinn - fool, idiot, beloved. Every beat of her heart and she grieved for him, wanted him, missed him. Damn the Jedi and damn him for going with them. A frantic shriek echoed in the house and she stopped what she was doing and listened, aching with the pain of it. She knew Ben was having dreams again. He'd been upset all day, hanging onto her tunics for hours, and she'd finally sent him back to his room for a nap. But it wasn't working. He needed sleep but his dreams had only brought him terror. He was tired; they both were. She'd not gotten a lot of sleep in the past few days - ever since Qui-Gon had been an idiot and left with that snake Kenobi. She was furious with her husband. Former Jedi or not, Bendu or not, Qui-Gon should have known better than to ignore all the warning signs. He should have hidden until that rsshak slime had left - Kenobi and that loathsome apprentice of his. She still did not understand why Qui-Gon had to be the one sacrificed to the Jedi scum. But he'd done the noble thing, damn his eyes, and now she was alone, fighting to keep herself from flying apart. Another cry and Le'orath gave up trying to let Ben settle himself down. Wiping her hands, turning off the cooking unit so that nothing would spoil or solidify or burn while she was busy with her son, she started down the hallway to his room. She didn't want to admit it but Mace Windu was right. She didn't have the experience to deal with Force sensitives, not in any way that was meaningful. She might be able to soothe hurts or send stern looks Ben's way or give him hugs enough to chase away his tears but she had no idea what to do with his visions. Qui-Gon had always handled it. Now with that blasted husband of hers gone, it was up to her. She had to accept that he might not come back. She had to accept that they might have to move to the Sanctuary for the time being, at least until she got her equilibrium back. After that, Ben could stay there during the day with the other children and come home at night. That way, she and Ben would still be at the farm when Qui-Gon came home - if Qui-Gon came home. The thought caught in her throat, and for a heartbeat, she couldn't breath for the pain of it. But then she deliberately straightened, throwing her head back, shoving the grief away. She had to stop thinking about how much she missed him, how much she feared that he'd never come back and focus on her more immediate problem - Ben. As if on cue, she heard a whimper and her heart broke all over again. Qui-Gon had always known just what to do when Ben got like this and now all she could do is stumble around and hope for the best. Quickly she opened his door and looked inside. Ben's room was in half-shadow, curtains drawn and a small glow lighting his bed. Although sweaty and thrashing about as though fighting something, Ben was still asleep, his little face rigid with nightmare. She sat down next to him and stroked his hair, trying to wake him up. She didn't want to startle him. Last time he'd had a bad dream, one of his toys had flown at her head; luckily she was quick enough to avoid the blow but he could use the Force, even if it was sporadic. Thankfully this time, she didn't have to duck but as Ben came out of the nightmare, he clung to her, crying as if his heart would break. It tore at her to see him in such pain. She couldn't ease his fears but she tried, sitting there holding him, rubbing gentle circles on his back and whispering of how much she loved him, how they would always be together. That only made him cry harder and finally she stopped talking, humming a song from her own childhood instead. Finally with many hugs and smoothing his wet face with her hands, rubbing his nose with a soft cloth to clean up the crying mess, she was able to get him quieted down to understand what he was trying to say. "Mama, the bad man is coming." His eyes were huge in the darkness and he was shivering. "He's coming. We have to hide." "Sweetheart, it was just a dream. You must have heard the thunder. There's a storm coming and sometimes it rattles the door." She frowned down at him, concern for him. She was at the end of her rope. She needed to talk to Mace and see what could be done. Sometimes, especially now, she had to wonder how the Force could be so cruel. He was just a little boy. "Mama, he's coming." Ben was growing more agitated by the moment. "The bad man." "Ben, tell you what. We'll go see Master Mace, okay. At the Sanctuary." She was alarmed. He'd never been this upset before, even when Kenobi showed up. "Maybe stay overnight. The kids should be back from their trip by now. I know you'll like that." Nodding vigorously, he jumped up, tucking his prized toy bantha under one arm, and pulled her toward the door. "Now, Mama, let's go now." She let him drag her out toward the back, to where the speeder was kept, all the while thinking that this had become surreal. It had gone from a simple child's nightmare to a furious escape from the serenity and comfort of her home. Ben was terrified and his fear had filled her with unease. It couldn't be real. It was only a dream, wasn't it? Her son stopped suddenly, turning black eyes toward her. "He's here, Mama. We need to hide. We...." "Ben sweetheart, there's no one here. I didn't hear a speeder come up." He was shivering again and frantic. She knelt down and rubbed his arms, trying to calm him. "It's all right, Ben, it's all right." He looked as if he were going to cry again. She gave him a quick hug and looked at him very seriously. "But just in case, I'll need a weapon, right? There's a blaster in the kitchen. I'll grab it before we leave. I promise." She paused, trying to shake the sense of dread that seemed to be growing with every heartbeat. Feeling as if some terrible thing was breathing down her neck, she looked over her shoulder for a moment. But there was no one there. She felt off-balance. She could hear the rattle of windows and the scrape of those blasted vines that Qui-Gon liked so much beating against the house. Outside, she could see that it had darkened considerably and there was a flash of lightning close by. The boom that followed told her that they would need to leave soon if they wanted to avoid getting caught in the storm. It was coming up fast. But it was just rain and wind and electricity, nothing more, nothing to be concerned about. Berating herself for being so frightened over a little wind, she stood up, and sent him an encouraging smile. "Daddy says that I'm a good shot. That's how we got your stuffed bantha. Remember? My bull's-eyes at the fair?" But instead of a childish giggle, all he did was hug the toy tighter and tug at her hand again, pulling her toward the kitchen and the speeder beyond. "Mama, now. Go now." She let him drag her, anything to keep him from becoming more agitated. He wasn't the only one that was worried, though. Something was wrong. She could feel it. Qui-Gon had always been fussing with her, hounding her to go with her instincts. They'd had long discussions about it but it was a Force technique and she hadn't paid as much attention as she should have. Now she wished she'd listened, wished with every fiber of her being. "Listen to me, Ben. I don't think anyone is here but if there is...." As they entered the kitchen, she let go of his hand and went to the cabinet where the blasters and a couple of vibroknives were kept. She found the one she used in target practice, the one she was most familiar with. Checking the blaster's charge, all the while trying and failing to keep the growing panic at bay, she said, "I'll take care of him. You stay back." "But Mama, Daddy wouldn't. He'd help you." His eyes were huge and liquid with unshed tears. "Yes, sweetheart but Daddy's a lot older than you and bigger, too. Besides, I can fight much better if I know you are safe." She frowned down at him, saying sternly, "Promise me." The wind was rising fast. She could hear the windows shaking with the force of it; the front door made a kind of whooshing noise as if someone had come in and forgotten to close it. It did that sometimes during heavy storms. She knew that she should go and make sure everything was latched down tight before they left. But as she turned back to do just that, something stopped her - Ben tugging at her hand or the cold chill shivering down her back, some sixth sense that told her things were not right, that maybe they had run out of time. Le'orath looked down at Ben, putting her finger to her lip, indicating silence. He nodded, looking brave and so very young. She motioned him toward the back door. There was another clattering sound near the front of the house and a soft creak of floor-boards in the hall. She froze at that. She'd complained to Qui-Gon about it several times but he'd never gotten around to fixing them. Even the lightest step on some of the loosened boards made noise - as they were doing now. Someone was in the house, someone uninvited. As she backed up, she flipped off the safety on the blaster, pointing it toward the kitchen doorway - and heard a chuckle, low and mocking. "So fierce." The voice was grating, almost husky with venom. "Little mother, you may give me some sport after all." Shivering, trying desperately to listen for clues as to where he was, she could only hear the sharp scrap of trumpet vines thrashing in the wind and the rattle of windows. She could not even hear the floor-boards creaking any more - which meant that he was either in one of the rooms off the hallway or near the back of the house and them. Instinctively, she tightened her grip on the blaster. "Come out where I can see you. " There was a distant boom of thunder and on the heels of it, he said, "I can see you well enough, harlot. Your pup, too. Too bad Jinn isn't here to watch his family being slaughtered." There was another low chuckle. "It would be instructive." Kriff, he's insane. Panic edged up her throat, the fear threatening to strangle her but she shoved it aside. Le'orath knew that she had to remain calm; she had to think clearly. She had to protect Ben at all costs. She didn't have the luxury of relying on a hero to come to her rescue. Her hero had left with the Jedi. She would have to be the strong one if they were going to survive this. But she swore that if... when Qui-Gon came back, she was going to kill him for leaving them alone to deal with a madman. "Strong words for a coward that lurks in the shadows," she shouted back. There was no response. But when another gust of wind sent the trumpet vines battering at the walls and filling the house with noise, she whispered softly, "Ben, sweetheart, is there anyone else here? Anyone at all?" Her son grew still for a moment and then looking up at her, hugging his stuffed toy to his chest for comfort, his little face pale and drawn with fear, he said, "No, Mama, just him. He wants to hurt us." In some ways, that was a relief. That meant that she only had to deal with one crazed killer. She didn't think she'd be able to protect Ben if there were two. In fact, she might have problems with one. She wasn't that good with a blaster. "Listen to me, sweetheart." She began to edge toward the back door, keeping Ben behind her, trying to keep her hand steady and the blaster pointed straight out into the hall as she eased her way back. Softly, urgently, she murmured, "When I tell you to run, you run and hide. Right away." He tugged at her tunic, trying to get her attention but she remained focused on the doorway. "Don't wait for Mama to catch up. It's very important. I won't be able to fight and keep you safe at the same time." "Mama, no. I don't want to." She could hear the terror in his voice and the reluctance to leave her but he was just a little boy and vulnerable. She had to get him away from the threat before it was too late. "If you don't run, you might be making it worse. Promise me, Ben." There must have been something in her face because although he looked rebellious, he nodded solemnly and whispered, "Yes, Mama." And then it was too late to say anything else. A sound, both familiar and terrifying, echoed in the hallway just outside the entrance to the kitchen - the distinctive snap-hiss and low hum of a lightsaber blade. They were in trouble. A black-clad figure, face tattooed in black and red swirls, a Zabrek from his horns, walked casually into the kitchen, a long-handled lazer-sword snarling red death in his hand. It was the demon from Ben's dreams. "Yes, Mama," he sneered, mocking her son's frightened reply. His yellow eyes gleamed hatred as he stared at them both. For a moment, she stood there, stunned. Le'orath hadn't really believed Ben, thought his visions were the nightmares of childhood. She'd had bad dreams, too, when she was his age. And she'd heard Qui-Gon passing off dreams as things that faded with time. This nightmare wasn't going to fade. Terror was clawing at her now, and within her, the unborn child moved sharply. It was almost as if the baby could sense the evil in the room. Without thinking, her free hand rubbed circles over the swell of her stomach, trying to calm her fraying nerves and ease the pain. She was afraid enough to keep the blaster pointed straight at the Zabrek. His eyes flicking to her stomach, his smile grew wider. "Little mother." She tried not to tremble at the venom in his voice. She knew she'd have to be strong for Ben's sake. He took another step toward them, twisting the saber into an infinity loop as he moved. It would have been beautiful in other circumstances, a great globe of brilliant red light, but now it only heated the air with dread. Pushing Ben behind her, shoving him toward the door and escape, she said loudly, "Another step and I'll shoot to kill. If you leave now, I won't file charges or send the Bendu after you." His answer was simple. He grinned, death's-head amusement, and an instant later, his lightsaber doubled in length, turned into a lightstaff, twin blades of blood-red destruction. He spun it around again as he sauntered toward her, taunting her with his smirk and his hate-filled eyes, daring her to shoot. As he got closer, he made sure that he cut through cabinets and crockery and flooring, sowing destruction in his path. There was acrid smoke in the air and as he sliced through a vase filled with flowers, it exploded in the heat, sending half-melted shards and smoldering blossoms everywhere. He was insane. It was also very clear that he wasn't going to give up, not even with a blaster pointed at his face. She couldn't wait any longer; it was getting more dangerous by the moment and she had to think of her son and her unborn child. Le'orath took a deep breath, and as she shouted for Ben to run, she fired off several shots, straight at the Zabrek. There was a blinding flash. In the heartbeat that followed, she felt the blaster bolts flying past her head and more distantly heard the sound of the back door closing. When she could think again, she realized that Ben was gone. He must have listened to her after all. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the curtains by the window were starting to smolder. The Zabrek had used his saber to deflect the energy bolts back in her direction. It was precise, too. The returned fire had not touched her but there was a halo of black smudges and burning embers in the wall behind her. Ben's 'bad man' knew how to use a lightsaber and use it well. Le'orath realized that he must have been the one the Bendu were hunting. She'd heard Qui-Gon talking about lightsaber burns and desecration, about how the murderer had played with his victims before they died in agony, about how they thought whoever had done it was well-trained in the Jedi arts. Now, in this moment, she had come face to face with the killer and she wasn't sure she would survive it. Something of her terror must have shown in her eyes. Black and red tattoos creased into a smile and as he twisted his double-bladed saber around again, he said smugly, "I'll find him, little mother. Find him and gut him before your eyes." He took a step closer, his yellow eyes gleaming with blood-hunger. "I think I'll enjoy it, too. More than I thought. He's so bright in the Force." Kriff. She backed up, her blaster still pointing at him, useless though it was, and now she had no place to go. The counter was behind her and the door close but she doubted that she'd make it outside. This monster had proven he was adept at saber techniques, as fine as she'd seen from most of the Bendu. She could only assume he could use the Force as well. She was trapped but he wouldn't take her without a fight. Narrowing her eyes, she growled, "Not my son." Then she began firing at him, round after round, hoping to find some gap in his defenses. It was futile. He batted the bolts back toward her with ease, his smile widening into a macabre grin as she tried desperately to drive him away. It was almost as if he was enjoying the moment, savoring her terror. Around her, she could hear the sound of breaking glass, the sizzling energy hitting walls and curtains and cabinets. She could smell something burning, too but she didn't dare turn around. She had to focus on the madman before her and either kill him or try to find some way to escape before it was too late. The problem was that the blaster was starting to make a whining sound, typical of an overload but she couldn't stop now. She had nothing else, no other means of defense. Hand-to-hand techniques wouldn't work against a lightstaff and she was too awkward with her pregnancy in any case. Sauntering toward her, snickering as she pushed her blaster past maximum, carelessly batting away the bolts, he got within a meter or so when her luck finally ran out. The blaster gave a final off-key growl and died. For a few seconds, she kept pulling the trigger, hoping that it was a mistake somehow. Then she threw the useless weapon at him and stumbled sideways, frantically looking around for some kind of weapon, knives or jars of food, anything to keep him at bay. The red blade swept past her, cutting off her escape route as the lightstaff melted down into the countertop next to her. As Le'orath jerked back, he pulled up the other blade and cut into cabinets near her leg. The heat, the smell of burning duraplast, the black terror was almost overwhelming. He gave a little laugh, his face mad with craving, and then he leaned in and breathed softly, "Little mother, time to play." Then there was no more time, no more existence outside the pain. All along the outside of her arm, he drew a line of fire that boiled and bubbled through fabric and seared into her skin. She shrieked and tried to skitter away but he was there, watching with blood-hungry eyes as the heat burned through her tunic and began melting into her flesh. Agony piled onto agony as he painted her skin with fire. Leg, arm, under her chin, one hand, then the other until her universe became a red-blistered mass of heat and scalded skin and screaming, always screaming. Blood poured down her throat as her voice gave out and there was only a raw-husked stutter. But it didn't matter. Her life, her loves, her very existence was focused on one thing - the blistering agony of blackened, still burning flesh. Her vision greyed and then turned bloody as she lay crumpled to the floor. She just wanted it to end, begged him for it, anything to stop the pain. Then he stopped. Drawing a ragged breath, her mouth pulled tight as she tried not to whimper, one small part of her could still hear him. "It would seem our time nears its end." He snickered softly, "Your rescuers are coming closer and I still have to kill the boy." Opening her eyes, her vision full of black and blood-red, Le'orath could see him staring down at her. He was smiling, satisfied, satiated. "But when I'm done with them, we'll finish our conversation. If you live that long...." Too weak to protest, she watched as he brought his lightstaff down, a blur of red light. One part of her almost admired the color but in the next instant, she knew only the fire-roar of pain broiling across her belly. Her lungs were ablaze, every nerve shrieking agony as he shoved his saber into her gut. "Wait for me." And then it all faded to black. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 6/28/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08 Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434 Master to jedidas3 Impeach Bush!
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JediNemesis Registered: Mar '03	Date Posted: 3/10 5:22pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 3/10/08
	All caught up now. University's cut into my JC time like you wouldn't believe, but I'm having a whale of a time and I do like doing big chunks of story in one go From a couple of posts ago: I love the continuing insight into Palpatine's psyche, and the occasional unpleasantly graphic image really drives it home just how insane he is. I must have mentioned how creepy-clever I find the idea of his, er, leftovers collection, but I'll mention it again because it's brilliant in a really quite disturbing way . . . Quotes: picking out every good line would take hours, but I particularly liked It was almost as if time itself wanted to hold back and keep the future from careening headlong into the present. and from the post after Darkness soaked into the Force like spilled blood, black and thick and rich with portents. For me those two sentences are pretty nearly perfect touchstones for the style you've created for this story - rich, ornate and very vivid. I love how you're portraying Anakin - making him sympathetic without ignoring the fact that he's royally stubborn and proud bordering on arrogant. The tension when he finally swallowed his pride and pleaded with Mace was incredible. But - but . . . they didn't get there in time . . . As we've had one narrow escape from death already this 'fic, I'm guessing Le' is dead. It certainly read like it. That closing description was harrowing, there's really no other word, particularly considering that it's almost entirely in terms of sensation, with the reader's imagination supplying the visuals. Holy cow. That's going to screw up Qui-Gon badly, as if he wasn't damaged enough already, not to mention the effect it'll have on Ben (assuming Ben survives) and Anakin. As cliffhangers go that's a hell of a precipice. Brava! I hope the next instalment is soon, though, because it's a horrible place to leave us hanging -----signature----- <- Fic in bio <- Before the Saga Best Author 2008! Thanks so much guys! BeTS Best Romance 2008: Spindrift - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/28478326 NEW Somewhere To Fly - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/28898463 + GM & Judge in the Mythology Draft +
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Jinngerbread Registered: Sep '07	Date Posted: 3/10 5:59pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 3/10/08
	The heat, the smell of burning duraplast, the black terror was almost overwhelming. He gave a little laugh, his face mad with craving, and then he leaned in and breathed softly, "Little mother, time to play." Then there was no more time, no more existence outside the pain. Creepy, that's still just plain creepy, no other word for it! Quite frightening to think about being cornered in the house with a Sith who's out for blood. He's far scarier in your version than he ever was in Phantom Menace. He just seemed to skulk around and not do much except to be Qui-Gon's killer. More plot device than actual substance. If I came across the movie version, I don't know if I'd be afraid, if I came across this one though, I'd be running for cover, not that it would work... I need to go read something mushy now that again my heart's been pounding and working overtime reading this chapter. And you're welcome! You make it easy to keep coming back for more, especially with posts like this -----signature----- Into Another Day http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27926050/p1/?5 I Really Need A New Job http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28912460/p1/?1 Gate Crashin' http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28492848/p1/?21
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Musing Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 3/10 6:53pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 3/10/08
	Ooh, boy...Maul makes his entrance. I think I'll go hide under the bed now. Come on, Mace, Anakin - get a move on! I'll come back out, dianethx, as soon as you post the next chapter. Don't want to miss anything. Great job!
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