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Author	Topic: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 6/28/08 and thanks for the noms
Dooku-Darklighter Registered: Jun '06	Date Posted: 4/22 11:55am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	Waves Hi, Diane! Boy, it's been a while, huh? How are you? Yes, I am still reading. Have about 30 pages to catch up on...then, I'll be current. Your writing is magnificently vivid and visual as always! Latest thoughts: Well...I understand both Obi's disgust and mistrust, yet, I also empathize with Sle'fey and the Council's desperation to bring down Sidious...yet, I don't agree with their tactics, at all! I feel really awful for Qui and Obi! Qui is dedicated and dogged to the last. Cheers! Wow, Sidious is utterly relentless. He's also sly and demented! I kinda like Maul's defiance. Let me guess, this is yet another fic where the most elegant Sith, Lord Tyrannus, is to die? That won't be surprising, but is sad. Sle'fey resigned? Is it legit or part of their latest ploy? Whoa! The Jedi are tittering on the razor's edge of complete collapse and here's Diabolical Palpy reveling in the utter imbalance that will result and the destruction that has been/will continue being wrought! Intense and most unsettling! More later.
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Ocelotl_Nesto Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 4/22 1:09pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	OOH the Jedi in the Temple are distracted... bad news when you are fighting the best of the Sith! I still think about your post where Obi and Anakin were fighting and Anakin started a force storm of debris. Obi Wan may have been right when he said that could be unbeatable. I hope he gets a chance to use it.
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Cole_Kenobi Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 4/22 7:21pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	I've just spent the last hour or so playing catch up. Ahah. You trully have a marvelous story here. I've enjoyed every bit of it. I remember reading a few years ago, and I've been reading it on ff.net, but just had to catch up and now I'm in suspence, I've got to know what happens next. I hope Qui-gon's wife will make it, and Ben. I'm so excited to see what will happen next. Please, put me on your PM! And thank you for such a fantastic story, I've enjoyed reading it so far.
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Jinngerbread Registered: Sep '07	Date Posted: 4/23 2:45pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	Qui-Gon seemed to shrink, his eyes filled with shadow. "It sounded like Le'orath. And Ben. I've left them alone. Unprotected." His hand scrubbed at his face. "My own hubris. Following the will of the Force, thinking I was the only sacrifice and I left them there." His voice slowed to a whisper. "I left them there." Shaking his head, Obi-Wan said, "Qui-Gon, you thought you were doing the right thing at the time. And surely Master Windu will look after them." "Le'orath won't have it. She will try and do it all on her own, staying at the farm, trying to be both mother and father to Ben. My decision to go with you...." He looked ill. "If something happens to them, how will I be able to live with that?" For that, Obi-Wan had no answer. Their choices had led them here and they were all damned for it, one way or another. Poor Qui-Gon, I just can't imagine the horror he must be feeling, to know that something's wrong, especially with that killer on the loose and he can't go for help. He did the right thing in listening to the Force. I'm just glad that the Jedi will let him get a message through, though I worry about what they will find. "Perhaps we could try again with the meditation. It seemed to help," Qui-Gon said softly. Obi-Wan shook his head. "I think I've had enough for one day." When both his Master and Atel started to protest, he held up his hand. "I know that I need to come to grips with my actions over the past few days, that I need to release my anger to the Force." He could feel the dark emotions churning behind his heart, pulsing, fury demanding to be released but he refused to give in to it. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly. "But this... this will not be easy or quick. I need to come to terms with it in my own way and in my own time." His eyes pleading for understanding, Obi-Wan murmured, "Please, both of you, let it go." The two people he loved most in the galaxy, the ones he knew cared enough for him to go against his wishes if they thought they needed to do so, exchanged glances. "Very well, Obi-Wan. For now. But I can't promise I won't try again." Qui-Gon leaned back, looking suddenly tired. It had been a hard day for them all. Why do I get the feeling that refusing to meditate with Qui-Gon and Atel is going to come back to haunt him for the rest of his life and that this is his last chance to do so? I just have this sick feeling for poor Obi-Wan that this is going to come back and bite him hard in the rear later and he'll torture himself even further, if he survives. Excellent writing, Diane, really quite worried about everyone and how this is going to go. Well done! -----signature----- Into Another Day http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27926050/p1/?5 I Really Need A New Job http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28912460/p1/?1 Gate Crashin' http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28492848/p1/?21
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Darth_Drachonus Registered: Oct '05	Date Posted: 4/23 6:58pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	I have spent two days on this rollercoaster, and I fear you have me hooked. It's an epic, and I'd like to be put on your PM list please. -----signature----- Don't **** with a Jedi Master son-Luke Skywalker
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Jaira Title: FanForce Arkansas PR Officer Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 4/23 8:35pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	Woooo! Bring it on! -----signature----- Where has all the Siriwan gone? Need a fun break? http://z9.invisionfree.com/Jello_Anarchy/
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Tahi Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 4/24 11:03pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	Beautiful language. Poor Obi-Wan - he's in so much pain isn't he. I loved the way you showed how all of them are suffering through this. It's agonising but so well written and made me very aware of the kind of anxiety the Jedi, with their role, are victims of. Much worse for them in some ways than the average Joe!!! The vision was horrifying and it was difficult to accept Xacor's acquiescence. But I can see his point of view as well - even though I didn't want to. Marvellous post - and the tension builds ....... -----signature----- Anahiri #6 http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/18446448/p33 The magazine for A/T fans Many Happy Returns http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/11018706/p81/?2011 Master to THE_PIED_PIPER
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Healer_Leona Registered: Jul '00	Date Posted: 4/25 9:00am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	Exquisite post. You always write Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan so well. There thoughts of each other is so perfect! -----signature----- I want to swim away but don't know how Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
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Obi-Odd13 Registered: Feb '08	Date Posted: 4/27 2:58pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	Ah man...the stupid rule about visions... and it really stinks because it's true! And I have a bad feeling about this whole thing... and why do I get the feeling that Atel's promise to talk tomorrow isn't gonna work out? And what's going one with Le'orath!? Judging by the vision, little Ben is gonna find his mother, who's hanging in by a slowly unraveling thread...poor kid! And what about Maul! And Sidious! I remember that he said his office was full of Jedi oriented traps...and that's where our favorite heros are headed! Man oh man, so many questions and worries, and not a chapter is sight to placate them. Post soon please?? -----signature----- When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, and then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. “We are one, after all, you and I, together we suffer, together exist and forever will recreate each other.” ~Teilhard de Chardin
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Independence1776 Registered: Feb '06	Date Posted: 4/27 5:40pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	Poor Obi-Wan! May the Force be with them on that mission! -----signature----- "Independence forever." John Adams Padawan to Luna_Nightshade Fics in bio Ever wondered what would happen if some normal students came to the Temple? Come find out: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27996678
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Kivas Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 5/1 9:18pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	Great post, it certainly added the tension as I sense the message will not be sent as promised.... -----signature----- Spectres they may be, Your spectres they are Hurt you they can.
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Magier Registered: Jul '07	Date Posted: 5/2 1:10pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	So much pain. I feel for Qui-Gon now that he knows about Le and has realized a little too late what this is costing his family. Now he is where he can't do anything but wait. Obi-Wan seems like he is drowning and I really hope he gets his head above water soon. Sidious is after him and is going to absolutely love all that darkness. -----signature----- No Legacy So Rich : Xan,OC, Obi, Qui (8/08) Seekers, Not Saints: SW/TB crossover (8/12)
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wolf_kenobi Registered: Nov '07	Date Posted: 5/4 10:28am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	Wow. This post was absolutely STUNNING... as this entire story has been. As it has been said before, you are an incredible writer. I'm worried about where all of this is going to go.... Looking forward to more! PM list please? -----signature----- Is God willing to prevent evil but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God. -Epicurus Proud Vegan
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 5/9 3:19pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	Nem – yes this is the breathing space before all hell breaks loose. LOL on Le'orath clinging desperately to life (and no I'm not telling you if she lives). I do like to have quieter moments before the insanity plus I'm setting up a few things for later. Obi-Wan has come to his senses in one way but he's still feeling the emotions of what he'd done and that isn't likely to go away in a few hours. He does know that he needs to find himself again but he may not have time. We shall see…. Thanks! calimora – I like dramatic pauses. I'm trying to have the drama up slowly, spiraling in so that it gets tighter and tighter. Hope it works. It’s really hard to do considering the length of time between posts. Poor Obi and Atel indeed. That's what happens in an Order that values control over compassion. Obi is remembering who he is but he's not there yet…. It is certainly hard to watch a favorite character going down. Thanks. Musing – LOL on the dying thing. We won’t find out if Le' lives for a while yet. There's a bit of a dustup first. I'm happy that you liked the way I've had Palpatine and his minions tainting things with darkness. Light will come through but will it be enough? Thanks for reading. I really appreciate it! Gkilkenny – Hopefully good will triumph but I'm not guaranteeing it! Thanks for reading. Kitara – But you know I'm soooo mean. LOL. BTW, still no clues about Le'orath. Thanks! Valairy_Scot – Thanks. I had a good time making Obi's life miserable. But I wanted it to be believable. He's struggling with his emotions and the destruction of his hope in the Order. It would likely be almost impossible to regain that. It's very sad. Yes, he is a Jedi to the core. He will always be someone who does what he thinks is right but he's also willing to sacrifice himself if necessary. He always has been. LOL on whether he's going to live or die. Heck, it's me. What do you think I'd really do?? Obi-Wan, if he lived, would indeed be shattered by their deaths. But we shall see who lives and who dies. Val, you are lovely to say that. I try to be the best writer I can be. I just hope I can continue to deliver! Thanks so very much! jedidas3 – Padawan, you are making me blush! Val is a great and generous person. Thanks. I'm very happy to have such a talented Padawan! Sorry about the cliffie. Not for a while, til nearly the end. Sorry. There are a few other things to take care of first. bek – Obi has indeed become complacent but more I think he's really depressed by the loss of hope. He's given his life to the Jedi and now he realizes they've used him all these years. It would give anyone pause. Plus he's hurt. I'd be worried if I were the others. I think you are right about things coming out during the arrest of Sidious. Lots of things. Qui-Gon needed to know what his sacrifice is – he's willing enough for himself but he had more to worry about than just himself. Cliffie will last a while longer. Sorry. Until nearly the end. Thanks. I really try to have a lot of imagery. I think I like to write poetic prose and that might translate into visuals. Glad you liked it. Dooku-Darklighter – Wow it's been a while. I'm still writing. In a way, it's better if you wait for a few months, then you can catch up and read it all in one swoop. Thanks. The Council was desperate to see what they could do to get around the destruction of the Order. After all, they were being manipulated from without and within and it made it really difficult to fight. I'm not happy with their tactics either but sometimes when you are too close to the situation, it becomes difficult to see your way clear. Yes, Sidious is relentless. And demented and sly and wicked and very very Dark. As for Dooku, I just don't have him showing up in the story. Sorry. This tale is about Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon and what they go through. Sle'fey is resigned. He's tried to get around the situation and it's backfiring on him so he's trying to make the best of it. Palpy is a great villain and so very manipulative. He's wonderful to write. Thanks. Glad you liked it. Ocelotl_Nesto – distraction is not a good thing when you are trying to fight the Sith. As for the force storm of debris, I didn't put it in there just use once. I think you'll be happy to see it again. Thanks for reading. Cole_Kenobi – Thanks so much. I have been posting it on ff.n but I've cleaned it up considerably in terms of POV and punctuation and a few other things. LOL on catching up. There's a problem with that in that I'm a very, very slow writer. The ff.n posts are about once a week because I figure I can finish it up about the same time as here – a couple of months from now. I'm just very slow. I'll be glad to put you on my PM list. Thanks. Jinngerbread – Qui-Gon did the right thing and the wrong thing. I think he should have insisted that Mace make sure Le'orath stayed at the Sanctuary. They knew that there was a Jedi killer around but obviously they didn't think he would come after non-Jedi. As for the meditation and refusal, why would you think it would haunt Obi-Wan???? If he survives, I'm sure he'll be tortured about lots of things. Thanks. Yes, you should worry. I have no problems killing off anyone in my stories. Or not. Darth_Drachonus – Rollercoaster. LOL. That's about right. I've put you on my PM list. Just keep in mind that I'm a very, very slow writer plus I get easily distracted with other stories so I update slowly. Thanks for reading. Jaira – LOL. I will! Tahi – Thanks. Yes, Obi-Wan is in a lot of pain, both physical and mental. He's just lost hope and realized that he's thrown his life away on a lie. Thanks about my writing. I really appreciate it! I figured that Jedi had visions, some more than others but if the Force is strong with them, it would try and tell them things. Xacor is trying to protect the Order. Jinn's wife is just collateral damage to him. He figures lots of people have died and will die before this is over. Thanks. Trying to build tension! Leona – Thanks so much. I really appreciate it. Oh, have you seen Liam on Conan O'Brien. He's gorgeous and sweet and he reads lots of books. ::happy sigh:: Oh, and he snores. Obi-Odd13 – Well, visions can lead people astray. Just look at Anakin in ROTS. Yes, the vision was true but he caused it himself. A bad feeling? Why? Atel will get her talk. As for Le'orath, you won't find out about her until near the end. LOL about Sidious and Maul. So many questions. Yes, Palpy's office is full of traps. It was full of traps in ROTS too and I figured someone that evil would have traps set. Sooo many worries. Post coming up. Thanks for reading. Independence1776 – Poor all of them. Thanks. They'll need the Force if they are going to succeed! Kivas – and the tension builds. Even if the message is sent, it's too late for Le'orath. Thanks! Magier – Qui-Gon was willing to sacrifice himself but his family…. He's not going to be happy about it – assuming he survives. Obi-Wan is drowning – in anger, in depression, in loss of hope. He needs to get above water but does he have time? Probably not. Thanks. wolf-kenobi – Thanks. Glad you liked it. I'll be glad to put you on the PM list. Just keep in mind that I'm a very, very slow writer. Every sentence takes me forever. I've been trying to write more often but it's still slow. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 6/28/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08 Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434 Master to jedidas3 Impeach Bush!
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 5/9 3:33pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 4/20/08
	I've been plugging away at this. I set myself a goal of writing 100 words a day (or more) and have been doing that. Unfortunately, as usual I got sucked into another story plus a bunch of drabbles. Unfortuately again I can't post them on tf.n because they are slash. Oh, well. I had fun writing them, though. Anyway, here's the next post. Hope you enjoy it. It's a new morning for our Jedi. Chapter 33 - Approaching Fate Healer Leabe was unspeakably cheerful for someone who was torturing him. He poked and prodded and nodded wisely as if he were pleased with whatever he saw in the saber wound. Obi-Wan didn't know, didn't want to know. Instead he just wished the man would leave. This day would bring death and destruction to the Jedi or the Sith or both and he was here being tormented by a gleeful Healer who had nothing better to do than jab at him. Oblivious to the heated glare that Obi-Wan was sending his way, Leabe resealed the bacta-soaked bandages back into place and stood over him and smiled, looking irritatingly self-satisfied. "You are healing nicely, Knight Kenobi. There are some problems with scarring on your left shoulder blade but nothing that will interfere with use of your saber arm as long as you follow the physical therapist's guidelines. And do nothing overly strenuous for several days." Obi-Wan frowned at that. "Healer, you do know what is going to happen in a few hours, don't you?" Smile fading, Leabe was acid and ice. "Yes, I've had words with both Master Sle'fey and Master Xacor. You are in no condition to participate in such an action, and frankly neither is Master Jinn. He is certainly more able to defend himself if need be but you will be too vulnerable in a saber fight." He huffed a bit, saying, "This is madness." On many levels, Obi-Wan agreed with him. It was indeed madness. But it was also important, more important than the loss of a few lives, even if among those lives lost was Obi-Wan Kenobi. It would be a fair exchange - one Sith Lord for a battered, uncertain, weary Knight. "Master Jinn will be in more danger." Obi-Wan frowned toward his Master, looking at the Bendu with critical eyes. Although Qui-Gon appeared to be better than he had the previous night, Obi-Wan could see the lines of pain around his mouth and the way he held himself. His Master was up to his old tricks, trying to be stoic in the face of duty. "I want to know what kind of problems we can expect with his injury." When Qui-Gon opened his mouth to protect, Obi-Wan snapped, "Master, you are hiding your pain and pretending to be fine." "I am well enough for this, Padawan. Stop hovering like a creche master." "Don't!" Obi-Wan sent him another frown. "It is better to know exactly what liabilities we face and plan for them than to rush headlong into danger. Ignoring it just increases the risk." "Well said, Knight Kenobi." Leabe nodded toward Qui-Gon. "As you can see, Master Jinn is no longer on pain medication. While he is feeling some discomfort, his reaction time will not be slowed down because of the drugs." A flick of worry and the Healer walked over to Qui-Gon's bedside and looked down at him. "He will be able to fight with a saber but if he is punched or kicked in the abdomen, it might reopen the wound. Also, the muscles and surrounding scar tissue will likely tear if the fight becomes overly vigorous." Qui-Gon sat there, looking thunderous. "I am well aware of my injuries and the potential for problems. I'm more concerned about Obi-Wan." "Knight Kenobi is still on pain medication. Reaction time may be an issue." Shrugging, Leabe looked over his datapad, studying it for just a moment before saying, "Also, his wound was much larger than your own, Master Jinn. We've grafted bone into his shoulder and it's mostly healed but there is a weakness there that might be a problem in a fight. The scars will pull on the muscle groups across his back, making it difficult to swing his saber fully without severe pain. His saber arm is fine but it is the interconnections that will be the liability in this. With time and therapy, it should be back to acceptable levels but we don't have the time, do we?" Obi-Wan had heard enough. "No, we don't have the time. Healer Leabe, I promise to follow your instructions...," he looked away, out toward the sunlit tower nearby, saying softly, "assuming we survive this." The despair was still there, clinging to him like a shroud. He had tried to meditate in the last several hours, tried to accept the black corruption that Tharten's death had brought to his spirit and let it go into the Force but serenity still eluded him, hovering just out of reach. Instead, there remained only the weary submission to Jedi duty - ever duty. He would do what was necessary, no matter the cost to himself, but at the moment, it seemed a burden almost too heavy to bear. Leabe must have sensed something, heard the defeat in his voice because he stopped what he was doing, and stared at Obi-Wan. "Promise me you won't do anything foolish." Qui-Gon looked at Leabe with narrowed eyes and then turned to Obi-Wan. Frowning, thoughtful and looking very concerned, he said carefully, flatly, "I want that promise as well." "I don't like what you are implying." All at once, Obi-Wan was furious. It was bad enough that he was going into a damn death trap with injuries that made survival remote at best but for them to think he'd deliberately let himself be killed was madness. It was true that he was still struggling with despair, but he would not take the easy way out just to try to escape the dark. He was a Jedi Knight and they should both remember that. Thoroughly annoyed, he snapped, "I will do what I must." Then glaring at his old mentor, he said, with words distinct and pointed, "Isn't that right, Master Jinn?" "Of course and that was an evasion - as you well know, Obi-Wan. I want your word." Qui-Gon was apparently not to going to take no for an answer. Obi-Wan took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It didn't really matter what he said. They were going up against a Sith Lord. Promises were irrelevant. "I will not sacrifice myself without cause. As any Jedi Knight would do." A sharp reply and one they could not deny. "And that is all I will say." Qui-Gon looked as if he were about to argue the point but Leabe nodded. "Of course, Knight Kenobi. Just so. You will forgive me for my concern. I find that patients who have been through significant trauma can sometimes need additional help - beyond that of bacta and bone grafts." "Thank you, Healer Leabe but I don't think I will be needing that kind of help." Obi-Wan's anger leached away again, leaving him strangely numb. He could not fault the Healer for the suggestion of counseling but it would be better if he dealt with it himself. Of course, Qui-Gon could not leave it alone. "Obi-Wan, you've been under a great deal of stress and perhaps a Healer...." "Enough!" Obi-Wan rubbed at his eyes. He was tired and the day was only going to get worse. When he saw the frowns building on the two men, both of them preparing to argue with him until he gave in, he drew back, his voice durasteel. "Qui-Gon, you and Healer Leabe have said quite enough. I will handle it as I see fit. And now if you will excuse me, I want to meditate." "Another evasion? It does you no credit, Obi-Wan. I think...." "You think?" he snapped, scowling at the pair of them. "Master Jinn, must I remind you once again that I'm a Jedi Knight and have been for the past ten damn years? I don't think - I know - that this conversation is at an end." He turned away, staring up at the Jedi tower rising high just outside the window. He didn't need to look to know that Leabe and Qui-Gon were sharing frowns again. He also didn't need to be lectured. Obi-Wan knew that he was being completely unreasonable but he didn't have the strength to argue. He just wanted to be left alone - to meditate, to prepare for what was to come, to sink into oblivion if need be. Something in his words must have penetrated. He could hear the Healer talking softly with Qui-Gon but at least they were not hounding him at the moment. He'd had enough of lectures. Sinking back into his pillows, ignoring the sounds of conversation, he let his mind empty. He hoped to find purity in the currents of the Force, some idea of what to do in the next few hours, a way to bring down a Sith Lord and survive. But there were only the churning streams of contamination poisoning his efforts. Finally, he gave up and closed his eyes and tried not to think. He must have drifted off. When he woke, the shadows on the tower had lengthened and the afternoon sky was turning a softer blue. Blinking, he saw that Leabe had left, that Qui-Gon must had had a meal - the scatter of plates was evidence enough, and now both his Master and Atel were sitting cross-legged on Qui-Gon's bed, meditating together. In another lifetime, it would have given him joy to see the two of them sharing in the Jedi traditions, to see the link between generations united in the Force. As a Learner, Obi-Wan had thought that his Master would have always been there, that once he'd become a knight, Qui-Gon would have acted as a sounding board when the Council got to be overbearing, an old friend willing to tell him that he was being an idiot on occasion, and a Grandmaster spoiling Obi-Wan's apprentices with ridiculous stories of missions and intrigue. Family. As he sat there, staring at them both, he remembered, too, the knobby-kneed girl who listened wide-eyed to him all those years ago, who had absorbed every lesson and wanted more. But that girl was gone. Now there was only a woman on the brink of Knighthood, a woman who had hurt him and he her, a woman he hardly knew. There was so much lost, never to be regained. While he gazed at them both, mourning the loss, Atel took a deep breath and opened her eyes. There was wariness there and it saddened him immeasurably. He'd put that into her, just as much as the fading bruises on her cheek. Then she blinked and the distrust faded into Jedi calm - another loss that Obi-Wan could not bear to see. As he turned away, he could hear the rustle of clothing and the soft steps toward his own bed. A gentle hand touched his sleeve and he looked up to see Atel's worried face. She whispered, "Master, are you all right? Master Jinn and I didn't want to disturb you. You looked exhausted and the Healer thought it would be better to let you sleep." Glancing over toward Qui-Gon who was still in meditation, Obi-Wan said, "I am well enough." Atel reached past him and brought up a food tray but he waved it away. The idea of eating made him nauseous. But she was like a sandpather defending her kit. "Master Obi-Wan, the Healer said that you have to eat something. You'll need your strength." She shoved a nutrient bar into his hand. "At least this." When he started to protest again, she sent him a look that he'd used on her many times before - whenever she was being too stubborn for her own good. It was exasperation and affection and steely determination all in a single glance. In another lifetime, it would have made him smile. Now all he did was bite into the bar and chew. It tasted like dust. She stared down at her hands for a moment, seemed to gather courage and then looked at him again. The determination was still there in her eyes. "Master, I wanted to talk with you before we go to arrest the Supreme Chancellor." "You shouldn't go, Atel. It's too dangerous." Shrugging, she gave him a tentative smile. "I know but someone has to protect you. You are always getting into trouble without me around." Then she turned serious. The worry was obvious in the tone of her voice and the gentle way she touched his sleeve. "The Healer made it clear that you were vulnerable. And Master Jinn. The others will be going after the Chancellor." He frowned, staring down at her fingertips; her small hand lay so stark against the shredded cloth of Jedi failure that it hurt to look. For a moment, silence stretched between them. Then she let go, drawing back and said, "I'll just have to make sure you don't get into trouble." "Atel, don't." There were so many things he wanted to say to her: that going with them was a mistake, that she was the vulnerable one, that his troubles were not hers. But he also knew that she would not listen. She was as stubborn as he could be at times - when she thought she was right. "It wasn't the arrest I wanted to talk about but afterwards." Surprised, he looked up to see her gazing earnestly back at him. "You've said that you were leaving the Jedi. I'd like you to reconsider." "If it's about your Knighthood...." "No, it's not that." Shaking her head, she gave him another tentative smile. "It's true that I would like you to be there, to stand beside me when I've passed the trials, to cut off my braid. It's been my dream from the time I was assigned to you." Atel looked almost shy when she said, "Even before that if you must know. But if you aren't there for the ceremony, I will accept it." Obi-Wan didn't know what to say. She sounded like a Jedi, a Knight in all but name. It was almost as if she'd grown up before his eyes. The speed of it took his breath away. He must have made some gesture of protest because she straightened, holding her head high. "Master, I will accept it. I won't be happy about it but if it's what you want, it will be enough." "Atel, you don't have to stay here. When I leave, you could come with me. To the Bendu." He meant it. There was a touch of sunburst joy in her eyes but then it faded back into determination. "No, I'm a Jedi, like my Master before me and his Master before him." Atel said, softly, "It's all I've ever wanted." It had been his dream as well, to be a Knight, to serve the Force, to bring peace and justice to all - foolish dreams that had vanished into ash. He could not let her waste her life that way. Sharp, stinging, he said, "I'm not sure there is going to be a Jedi Order after this. If the Chancellor is killed, the Senate will likely blame the Jedi. Even if they don't, Sle'fey will have his paws full with keeping the Order from imploding into chaos. It may not be possible." Her answer was simple. "Master Sle'fey will need your help." For a moment, he was speechless. Then he snapped, "You must be joking. Me help that lying son of rsshak slime. I don't think so." "He'll need someone whose hands are clean, who can see past all the political tricks and keep the Jedi and the Council from straying into the dark again." "No," he spat out. The idea of helping that lying bastard was so far removed from reality that he was astonished she'd asked. "Who better than you, Master?" She sounded serious; she sounded as if she meant it. The persistance of his Padawan was astounding. To keep hounding him to help someone whom he'd obviously detested, to put aside his own feelings of betrayal at Sle'fey's hands for the sake of a dying Order that had done nothing but destroy its members for power, was beyond anything he'd expected from her. It was unacceptable. But the furious scowl he sent her way didn't stop her from pointing out, "It was you who uncovered Master Tharten's lies, you who found out the name of the Sith Lord without regard to your own safety or health, you who refused to bow down to Zaros or Master Sle'fey or the other Councilors when it would have been easier to do so. They need you." "They betrayed everything I believed in, used me to get what they wanted, used you as well. And Master Jinn. Why should I help them with anything?" He couldn't keep the contempt out of his voice. "It's better to abandon them and start anew." "That is your anger talking." It was said softly but with such pain that his reply died unspoken. It was likely she was right. The anger at the Council, the pain of what they had done to him, to his friends, to the Bendu, to Qui-Gon, was still simmering beneath his skin. Jedi Knight or not, he was still human enough to feel betrayed. But he also had to get beyond it. Otherwise, the dark would consume him utterly. Taking a deep breath to try and cleanse the fury lurking under his heart, he let it out slowly. Carefully, distinctly, he said, "Atel, I am one lone Knight against a Council that has consistantly been shown to manipulate others for gain, to betray their own for power. They will never listen to me." Another deep breath and he shook his head. "It's impossible." "Master, I'm not asking that you decide now. But think about it." She rested her hand on his arm again, gently, gently as she asked, "Please?" Obi-Wan bowed his head for a moment. "Atel.... I will consider it." But it was more to placate her than anything else. Remaining a Jedi with that lying Bothan in charge was impossible. If Sle'fey won - improbable as it seemed, then it would be likely he'd start turning that devious mind of his toward control of the Jedi Order. And Obi-Wan could not be a part of that, no matter how many promises Sle'fey made. He did not want to think about it any more. Instead he said, "If nothing else, I will try to be there for your Knighting ceremony. I'm sure the Bendu would be able to spare me for a few days." "I would like that." She seemed to understand that now was not the time to press the point further. There was a tentative half-smile on her face as she said, "Try, Master? I thought it was 'Do or do not. There is no try'." "Ah, that was one of Master Yoda's sayings." He was grateful for the change of subject. "His wisdom was legendary. But he could also be one of the most mischevious beings I'd ever known." "I remember him. He used to visit the creche and I was in his lightsaber class for a time. All the younglings were sorry when he left. I wonder where he is now." Qui-Gon's soft voice startled them both. "With the Bendu, Padawan." Obi-Wan had been so intent on talking to his Padawan about the ridiculous notion of staying with the Jedi that he hadn't realized that Qui-Gon had been quietly listening to their conversation. "Was he on Naboo? I would have liked to...." But before he could say anything else, their Knight sentry, Asaf Derst, swept into the room. "Master Jinn, Knight Kenobi, Padawan Sl'etah, it's time to leave. Masters Sle'fey and Xacor and the others will be waiting for you at the shuttle. I've come to escort you there." The endpoint in a long game of corruption, a final confrontation between Jedi and Sith and it should have brought him a kind of relief that it would soon be over. Instead, all Obi-Wan could feel was his own emotions polluting the Force. He wasn't ready to face the darkness. He needed time to find his balance again, time to let go of the anger poisoning him but there was no time left, no time at all. With Atel hovering over him, he pulled on his belt, and grabbed his saber. Qui-Gon was up and waiting for him by the door. Already feeling the effects of a lower pain dosage and injuries still not healed, Obi-Wan said sourly, "We wouldn't want to keep the Chancellor waiting." "Of course, Knight Kenobi. Right this way." The guard gestured with one hand, bowing slightly as if leading a tour group, making it look like they were all going for an afternoon of tea and company. It took all of Obi-Wan's strength not to snap at him. But when he looked into Derst's eyes, he realized that the man knew what was about to happen. There was fear there but there was also determination. They were going to try and capture a Sith Lord. Obi-Wan had a very bad feeling about this. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 6/28/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08 Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434 Master to jedidas3 Impeach Bush!
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