Jedi Council Forums - Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst

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Author	Topic: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 11/2/09
dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 4/3/03 4:30am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/2
	Ah...come on LuvEwan you know you want to.... Actually, my advice is to never ignore posts with Ani!!! They always have important information imbedded somewhere in them... And the plot thickens.... -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09 jedidas3's Master Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 4/3/03 4:35am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/2
	And now for further after-dinner discussion...this post is rather short but the next one should be fairly long. And a new player enters the field..... Qui-Gon Jinn watched as the speeder roared away and then the night settled into a peaceful calm, the lacywings humming quietly among the blossoms. The young shadow, waiting patiently by his side, moved closer. "Did he tell you about his mission?" "Anakin, Jedi do not discuss missions with just anyone. It is unwise to do so and against the regulations as well. And no, he did not tell me." "Do you think he is investigating the disappearance of all those dismissed Jedi? Does he know who killed them? Or is he the killer?" Qui-Gon smiled briefly but the warmth did not reach his eyes. "So many questions, my young apprentice. No, contrary to your feelings about him, he is not the one killing the ex-Jedi. He could not, not my old Padawan. And he is not investigating the losses either or else he would have asked me about them. No, he's likely here to check up on me and our operations here." "Master, are you sure?" A swift, unhappy nod. "What now?" "Anakin, it will take him a while to settle into his lodgings and then he will begin inquiries tonight. We have about an hour. Let's make the most of it. Go into town and alert our friends that a potential enemy is among us." "Is he our enemy?" The voice was taut with some darker emotion, jealousy perhaps or an eagerness to begin the chase. "Damn, I hope not." Jinn closed his eyes for a moment, frowning, pain scrawling across his face. He shook himself free of it and turned toward his apprentice. "Have everyone treat him with the respect due a Jedi but tell him nothing." "And if he finds out what is going on?" The tall man shrugged helplessly. "It will be as the Force wills." "Master, I'm sorry... about everything. It must be hard to see him again, like this." The young one stood with head bowed, penitent. "Yes, it is. He is the son of my heart...as are you, young one." Qui-Gon put his arm around Anakin's shoulders for a swift, sharp hug and then let him go. "We are wasting time. Get going, now." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Is he gone?" Mace Windu asked quietly from the shadowed corner. "Yes, he's gone for now. And, before you ask, yes, I think he does suspect that there is something more going on here than growing crops." Qui-Gon frowned darkly, his voice low, almost angry. "They deliberately chose him. To torment me or to punish him. Maybe both." Staring out into the night, he admitted. "It hurt to see him and not tell him the truth. I...I've missed him." "I'm sorry, my friend." Mace put his hand on Qui-Gon's shoulder for a second, squeezing lightly, wordless comfort in the light of the struggles to come, and stepped back. Jinn shrugged, resigned. "No matter. I will deal with it as I must. Now, to business. I had hoped for more time to strengthen our position before discovery. Better start moving the equipment and personnel out. But not too much. He's not stupid, quite the reverse. We will have to hide what we can, obscure the training centers, if possible. He knows of my salle. Let's make sure he doesn't find any others." "And, if he does?" The murmur of disquiet wafted through the cool night air. "They are looking for a scapegoat. If necessary, they will have one." "And you're it..." "Mace, we knew this was a possibility when we started. Yes, he may not know it yet but he's come for me." Qui-Gon turned and placed a hand on Windu's arm, holding him still for a moment, his voice thready with concern. "Promise that you will look after my family. And Anakin. He's very headstrong and may protest this course." "I will. But aren't you forgetting that the future is always in motion?" Jinn snorted at that. "I forget nothing." He turned and looked back to where the speeder had disappeared. "Damn that Council for bringing him into this. They are playing us for fools again, Mace, but I am no longer a fool." -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09 jedidas3's Master Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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Jane Jinn Registered: Jan '00	Date Posted: 4/3/03 4:48am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/3
	(muffled voice) Am currently being squashed by the Bantha of Real Life. Will reply as soon as I can crawl out from under him. -----signature----- Mostly retired now Just making the occasional guest appearance
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jacen200015 Registered: Jan '02	Date Posted: 4/3/03 4:58am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/3
	You can say that again. -----signature----- If I review then PM me when you update. thanks so much. Send me your completed 'the saga' stories! Check out my new story Descent Into Darkness Don't quote me the odds. I shall do as I must. Do or do not, there is no try.
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forever_jedi Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 4/3/03 7:09am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/3 - Date Edited: 4/3/03 7:10am (1 edits total) Edited By: forever_jedi
	I am so relieved to find that Mace is alive and well too. I wonder if Qui-Gon and Mace have set up a center to train Force-sensitive children, a place rivalling the temple. I sense a ton of conflict coming up for Obi-Wan and especially, Atel. This is sure to set up Master-Padawan conflicts, Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan/Atel and perhaps even Qui-Gon/Anakin. I like the Anakin in your story; in fact, so far, I like all your main players, except perhaps QG's wife. She seems a little too sharp and a little short in compassion, IMO. Interesting contrast with her husband, who is usually so full of compassion and gentleness. You write atmosphere beautifully and very succintly, Dianethx. the night settled into a peaceful calm, the lacywings humming quietly among the blossoms I could almost imagine myself standing in the Naboo night, in the calm before the dissonance to come. -----signature----- “Kenobi was luminous, a transparent being, a window onto a sunlit meadow of the Force.” RotS, Matt Stover. "The Force will be with you, always."
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Shaindl Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 4/3/03 9:39am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/3
	You know, there aren't a whole lot of stories that flesh out Mace - I hope we'll see a bit more of him here. Hm, Mace... A brief pause as rabid plot bunny appears, and Shaindl tries to beat it to death with a big stick. Once again, that particular tactic fails miserably. Ahem. Seriously, I've actually had a short story idea for Mace for awhile, but haven't been able to make it work properly on the page. One day. A great post with lots of hints of what's really going on. I like how Qui recognised that Obi is being punished as he's being tormented, and how Qui is willing to give himself up to protect all the people in his care. Noble, self-sacrificing, tall, good-looking...sorry, got a bit off topic there. I love this story Diane, and I hope every day to find a new post. Great work! Shaindl -----signature----- Halfway Moment - Qui, Obi, Anakin AU - http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/20110461/?0 - UPDATED JULY 3!
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Healer_Leona Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Jul '00	Date Posted: 4/3/03 10:43am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/3 - Date Edited: 4/3/03 10:58am (1 edits total) Edited By: Healer_Leona
	Ever have a wonderfully detailed reply all typed up and lose it with a couple stupid misplaced keystrokes???? GRRRR...... Ok, let's see if I remember what I said.. Enjoyed how the teenagers rushed back to thier respective Masters... especially how Anakin immediately voiced his concern for young Ben... I could grow to like this Anakin!! I felt a little disturbed by Obi-Wans thoughts of trouble with his former Master's comment of Anakin being his apprentice. Personally I don't think the Order has the right to concern itself with a man they ousted from their ranks... my thoughts anyway. I really like the way you show Atel learning all sorts of things she only had heard through rumors (like about Ani) and things not spoken about at all .. like Qui-Gon's family. Under the circumstances I don't blame Qui-Gon one bit for not allowing his son to be trained at the temple... I'm almost surprised Obi-Wan would even suggest it... he must know there's somwthing wrong going on... perhaps he's still too close to the problem. Qui-Gon can see more from the outside... obviously Anakin has as he's aware former Jedi are dying. It does seem that Obi-Wan is not quite totally blind.. as his warning of the Senate's actions show there must be a sense of something going on. I liked how Obi-Wan assisted little Ben with his gather of sweets. and yes Qui may have overreacted a tad with Obi's comment on Ben's talent. Love the story of Qui and Le'orath's meeting and her "I knew the moment I met Qui-Gon that I wanted to be with him always.--- had me sighing with satisfaction!!! I wonder what were Atel's reasons for not wanting her Master to tell Qui-Gon what was going on with the Order as of late??? Ani's response is all to easy for an outsider... of course he doesn't ralize the Order is the only family Obi-Wan has ever had and one would feel loyalty to them... even if they're become a dysfunctional family. Ouch!!! I knew Le'orath wasn't going to let Obi-Wan go without finding out why he hadn't been to see his former Master,, but I hope Obi-Wan doesn't just leave now!!! Ohh... I'm nearly in tears at the confession Obi-Wan gave to Qui-Gon and surprised that Qui knew of that cells existence. Ahhh... so there's something more being learned on the Jinn farm then just growing crops...ok... I'm sitting here laughing because I wrote the above sentence before reading on when Mace steps out of the shadows and Qui-Gon says I think he does suspect that there is something more going on here than growing crops." I love that Mace is alive and with Qui-Gon. I'm one that enjoys fanfic where they are friends... though that was a very monious post... Qui-Gon asking to friend to take care of his family and apprentice... I've got a bad feeling about this. In defense of Le'orath, I must say I don't see her as all that sharp or compassionless. It's an automatic response to defending her husband and wanting him not to be hurt. I agree with her thoughts that the wound, certqinly after all this time, will only heal after being cut and cleaned. Absolutely superb story Diane!! As far as attracting readers I've no idea. It's really been awhile since I've written a story on my own... or anything for that matter. Jane is so right with all she stated about popularity, quality and such, I don't think there's rhyme not reason to it. This story would certainly be enjoyed by all JA lovers and I have told my friends here at the JC about it. -----signature----- Break away from everybody Break away from everthing If you can't stand the way this place is Take yourself to higher places
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LuvEwan Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 4/3/03 10:55am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/3
	finishes gagging Okay, diane. That wasn't so bad. A tolerable amount of Bratakin. I'll live. But I'm gonna die anyway, from all this building tension! And what's with Obi being the enemy! It's such a strange reversal, from being the closest person to Qui-Gon to being the one who could very well take his whole world away, though it would be unintentional, of course. I agree with everyone else. Your descriptions are breathtaking. Beautiful job...even if Obi wasn't in it! -----signature----- What Light Breaks-AU Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon Anakin angst (collaboration with Spiritweaver) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/29979222/p1/?0 You want an Obi-Wan epic? We've got it right here.
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Aunecah_Skywalker Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 4/3/03 11:41am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/3
	Okay, I definitely don't have the time to read this, but dear Force, dianethx. This is some story! Wonderfully written and completely original. You don't see that many original stories around here. It's just amazing, that to cut their expenses, the Jedi would destroy the Order, the only "military" (so as to speak) that they really have. Of course, with Palpatine spearheading the whole thing, you can't expect much else from the senate. On the other hand, I'm completely ticked off with the Jedi Council. At least Mace Windu is not on the Council, and I hope Depa Billaba isn't on there, either. I like the two very much. It's obvious that they know the Senate is being stupid, but they follow it anyway. To follow and protect a corrupt government is tantamount to promoting evil. The Jedi would do well to know that. Ingenious in having Anakin as Qui-Gon's apprentice, and I have little doubt that he's actually his Apprentice as opposed to simply "trade-apprentice." And Obi-Wan - poor him. I don't like Qui-Gon's wife. She might have meant well, but she's just blaming the very wrong person. Of course, when it comes to Obi-Wan, he must have a "Blame me! Blame me! Blame me!" on the back because he's made a scapegoat every single time. I can sympathesize with her - if she had said those words to anybody but Obi-Wan. Now, about Obi-Wan's apprentice - I almost thought it might be Anakin in the first, but I'm glad it's not. Atel, isn't she called? I like her. I have a feeling she's going to have to choose between supporting her Master and supporting the Jedi sometime in the future - near or far - and we'll just have to see how it goes. Ben - he's cute, but I just feel so sorry for Obi-Wan. Nicely done! Aunecah
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JediNemesis Registered: Mar '03	Date Posted: 4/3/03 11:54am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/3 - Date Edited: 4/3/03 12:00pm (2 edits total) Edited By: JediNemesis
	first post on page 5 I agree with everyone else, Diane, you do descriptions brilliantly. And yes, I'm glad to see that Mace is alive. And yes, I'm actually beginning to like Anakin. Reading this having successfully (if temporarily) defeated Darth Homework. LIGHT WILL TRIUMPH! As for the Bantha of Real Life - keep your distance, or else... So many twists and sub-plots and hints - I believe I'd be 99% accurate if I said I haven't the faintest idea where this is going to end up. runs away from rabid plot bunny Atel, Anakin, Ben, Le'orath, Mace, Maul, Obi, Qui, Sidious... Where will they all end up??? ?:\| Looks like everyone else got here first with the replies - awfully sorry, I didn't get over to the Saga forum at once when I got on because I privately couldn't believe that any author, no matter how good, could post three days running. Forgive me. Er - please? Well, got here eventually. And TWO new readers! Welcome, forever_jedi and Sheila. Nice to see new faces... Keep 'em coming! - JediNemesis / Nemesis / Nem PS Welcome Aunecah Skywalker too. Sorry I forgot you earlier - had to go back and edit. -----signature----- BeTS Best Author '08 NEW Bad Dreams - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/29893091 Eleven Summers - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/29657584 Into The Shining Day - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/29224914
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LuvEwan Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 4/3/03 2:43pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/3
	Hey, ya hit 100! Congrats, diane!! ...oh...and by the way...I still hate you. -----signature----- What Light Breaks-AU Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon Anakin angst (collaboration with Spiritweaver) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/29979222/p1/?0 You want an Obi-Wan epic? We've got it right here.
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 4/3/03 3:19pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/3
	JaneJinn So the bantha of real life is squashing you....welcome to the club. RL has been a b...h lately. Don't worry. We'll be patient and wait for that darn bantha to move his .... ummm derriere...LOL. Jacen200015 - did Jane send her bantha over to you or is there a herd of banthas making problems? Must be a bantha alert!!!! I did warn you about my odd humor! -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09 jedidas3's Master Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 4/3/03 3:33pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/3
	forever_jedi - Yes, Mace is alive and well. You will be seeing him again. Actually, all the main characters show up more than once, some of the minor characters as well. I have to keep you guessing...otherwise you will all drift off in disgust! Actually, the rival Temple is a good idea. I don't think the Jedi would be too happy about it though and would probably take steps to have it demolished. Of course, the Jedi aren't too happy with Jinn as it is and you haven't even discovered what he is doing yet...and neither has Obi-Wan... When I write, I tend to try and think like the characters (well..except the bad guys but even there I have to think of logical reasons for what they are doing) when I am writing them. Le'orath is protecting her husband. She has seen him be very hurt by Obi-Wan's continual absence (and she couldn't know the pain Obi suffered trying to find Qui-Gon). For her, she needed to get Qui-Gon to probe the relationship and hopefully move beyond the pain. Same with Anakin. I know a lot of people don't like Anakin but he is such a facinating character - so full of flaws, goodness and darkness intertwined so that sometimes you don't know which face he is showing. I really like the enigma. Diane ducks as LuvEwan throws a lit lightsaber at her... As for description, I love description...sometimes too much. The next post has a lot in it but, hey, it's my fic...LOL. I want to evoke a feeling and description does that pretty well. Yes, the calm before the storm and the storm is about to break with Obi-Wan and Atel. You'll see tomorrow. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09 jedidas3's Master Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 4/3/03 3:41pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/3
	Hi Shaindl Yes, Mace. I've tried to flesh him out as well. As I told forever_jedi, you will be seeing more of him. The problem with Mace, from my perspective, is that there isn't really a lot of background on him. In AOTC and TPM, he seems serene in the Council chambers but he's a tiger in the stadium. I liked that he defended Dooku to Padme in the movie. So I tried to give him a similar persona, gentle yet strong, perceptive yet playful (not here but in a later chapter). He's a good foil with Qui-Gon and I can really picture them being friends. As for your rabid plot bunny, grab him by the ears and make him into a story...I'll look forward to it. Yes, Qui - noble, good-looking, gentle, gorgeous eyes, self-sacrificing, nice long hair to play with...okay, I'm stopping now. I'm glad you love the story and I hope that I can keep you intrigued... -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09 jedidas3's Master Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 4/3/03 4:04pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/3
	Hi again Healer_Leona Oh, how well I know about losing paragraphs with a simple keystroke. I've done it so many times that now, as a matter of course, I copy every few paragraphs. It's saved me more than once!! And now on to your comments...wow! Personally I don't think the Order has the right to concern itself with a man they ousted from their ranks... my thoughts anyway. But that is exactly the problem with the current Jedi Order. They must control everything and everyone, past and present - with the monitored hallways, punishment for infractions. They can't possibly allow Qui-Gon to get away with doing Jedi like things. Remember, that is why Obi-wan is here...because the Jedi are suspicious of his activities. As for Obi-Wan wanting to take Ben back to the Temple, as a Jedi Knight, he would be required to look into candidates for entrance, especially with so few children coming to the Jedi. And Obi-Wan does know that things are not right with the Order but he is really too close to the situation and hasn't thought everything through. As for Ben, he is adorable but he does have a role in this adult fic. That will come out later.... Ah, why doesn't Atel want Obi-Wan telling Qui-Gon what is going on at the Temple? Great question and one that will be answered in the next post - tomorrow. I don't think you will like the answer, either... As for the crop comment I think he does suspect that there is something more going on here than growing crops, you know what they always say...great minds think alike...LOL. It just had to be said... Ah, Mace. Everyone seems to like that Mace is alive and here. Yes, Qui-Gon will need a friend and Mace is a good one. He'll be cropping up again in coming chapters. Absolutely superb story Diane!! Thanks. I hope when it is all done that you will be quite satisfied with the result!!! And thanks for telling your friends over on the JC board about it. I really like the new board system except for one thing. A story like this would probably have been better put in the Before the Saga board since most of the JA people are there but because of the timeframe, it had to be put in the Saga board. In fact, I could think of several instances where stories might be better off in boards selected by character, rather than timeframe. But I understand why they did what they did and, otherwise, I like it better this way. New post tomorrow....and thanks so much for your detailed post. It was wonderful. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09 jedidas3's Master Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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