| Author |
Topic:
Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 9/22/08
|
dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
|
Date Posted:
4/4/03 1:36pm
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
- Date Edited:
4/4/03 1:37pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
dianethx
|
Hi again Aunecah_Skywalker Yes, the rules. Actually, I'm a bit surprised that you are surprised that there is a revised standard every year. Ummmmm, where I work, we are supposed to sign a Code of Behavior statement that outlines what is allowed and what is not. It gets changed on a regular basis. In fact, sometimes they make changes and bury those changes in some little email that no one pays attention to until someone gets fired!!! It doesn't happen often (and frankly the guys who did get fired really should have known better). But, yes, rules may be stupid but they will enforce them when they feel like it. See, you didn't know that I was really writing about where I work, did you????...LOL.
As for Atel following the rules, she just assumed that Obi-Wan knew about them. She did say that he had always followed the rules before this mission. She would have assumed that he would continue to do so.
As for your question, the new Council is mostly handpicked by the Senate with suggestions from "trusted" members of the current Council. It is sort of like the different branches of the US government. The head is usually picked by whatever political hack is currently in office and then he will pick his cronies for the top slots. The ones below them are usually lifers - those with some actual experience in running whatever branch they are in. My sister-in-law worked for the IRS and that's how they worked the system. So I'm taking it from real life situations....scary, isn't it????
As for Obi-Wan and Atel's relationship...I don't really agree that they have a formal relationship - I think of it as close; maybe that did not come across?? It is very strained at the moment because of the situation. Well, there is a scene coming up that is a bit more informal. Maybe, that will clear some things up....
Thanks Aunecah
-----signature-----
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Arldetta
Registered:
Jul '02
|
Date Posted:
4/4/03 1:40pm
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
|
dianethx - Well, I finally finished my marathon read and it took me a bit to break out of my stupor. Don't worry it was a good stupor!  I'm just in awe. The story is intriguing and gripping.
I am always on the hunt for something new to read. And am glad I decided to get up off my kiester and hop on into this board.
After I finished reading this, I went and checked out the prequel to this. I have to say, this concept is really awesome. And you execute it so well. Bureaucrats are so annoying. And I can't believe that the Jedi Order has been brought to it's knees by politics. It almost boggles the mind. I wonder what the Vatican or another such organazation would do if placed in a similar situation. To rid itself of personnel to satisfy monetary needs. I'm sorry if my analogy offends, but it's the closest we have to our culture.
I love stories that question things, even if it's subtle. And of course a little Obi-Angst is always welcomed.
Now I'm wondering what exactly all these Dismissed Jedi have up their sleeve. And how will this effect Obi? I know his Padawan has been brainwashed into the protocal of the current Order, but will her actions only effect her Master or the Underground Jedi too? And how will Obi react to this new discovery? Will he feel like he was left out? Like he wasn't worthy enough to join them? Or did they think he wouldn't help them if they asked?
OH, I can't wait to see more on this. I'm am totally enthralled.  Soon, I hope?
-----signature-----
Charter member of 'Obi-Torture Anonymous' Being Normal only happens to those not creative enough to develop their own psychosis. - me Please check bio for homepage and yahoo group.
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
|
Date Posted:
4/4/03 2:00pm
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
|
Hi JediNemesis - As I told Aunecah_Skywalker, I took this from real life. Rules at work that change every year and sometimes, the important ones are buried in trivial emails!!! Yep, welcome to the wonderful world of corporate America.
As for Nazi Germany, good call. I did have that in mind when I wrote about the standards and how she was expected to rat on Obi-Wan.
Okay, your weekend is archery. Mine is getting ready to show 8 year olds the "wonderful" world of chemistry on Monday - think of me with a baking soda/vineger volcano on Monday...and squealing girls....
-----signature-----
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
|
Date Posted:
4/4/03 3:14pm
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
|
forever_jedi Thanks. I loved how you put that What delectable shades of grey. That is exactly right. For most of the characters in this fic, there are lots of shades of grey and they must choose which shades to deal with and whether it will lead them to the darkness.
As for the directives, they are trying to control every aspect of the Jedi - that way they are easier to manipulate.
Yes, Obi-Wan has a lot on his plate and yet he has more to pile on there yet!!!
What will happen with Obi-Wan and Atel and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon? Those are the questions that drive this fic. You'll just have to see.
I honestly didn't even see a budding romance between Atel and Anakin. Sadly shakes her head. Frankly, with what I know that I've written so far, I thought there was way too much going on in the fic as it is. It will be getting more complicated soon as Obi-Wan finds out what is really going on. So, a romance would have been nice but, I don't know, it might have distracted people from the main story. However,if I had thought of it, I would have given it serious consideration!!
It's interesting that different people are seeing Le'orath in different ways...almost as if she were a real person. Hurray!!! I'm glad that this fic is generating so much discussion. I'm amazed actually. I figured most people would say good job or up and leave it at that. WOW.
Pace of writing....okay, I'll ask the group here.
OKAY GROUP A QUESTION---
forever_jedi is concerned that my daily posting pace might be too fast and that I might need to cut back before I run out of the parts already written. After that, I'd probably post every month or so. What do you say?
Should I a) continue to post daily until I catch up with what I write and then post very slowly or b) post every few days and keep the posting pace smooth? Either way is fine with me.
Diane
-----signature-----
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
|
Date Posted:
4/4/03 4:05pm
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
|
Shaindl - I can't believe it either - that I'm getting long replies. It's amazing to me. Still shaking my head in wonderment!
Yes, different people are seeing Atel and Le'orath differently. I'm really surprised but very happy. That means that they see them more as realistic characters and I'm thrilled. We won't be seeing much more of Le'orath for a while but Atel will be in most of the posts since this story is really about Master/padawan relationships.
Anytime on the comments.
As for more posts, see my question on my reply to jedi_forever. I'll do whatever the most people want....
And everyone!! You should check out Shaindl's Fic Roads we travel shatter and split!!! She made me cry, especially the latest post. I can't do links for anything but it's on her signature.
-----signature-----
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
|
Date Posted:
4/4/03 4:19pm
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
|
welcome Arldetta I'm glad you could join us....
Yes, by this time, it is a bit of a marathon read, especially if you are reading all the posts by my readers. They are great!!
Yes, the whole story is based on bureaucracy and their greed being manipulated by an evil dark lord. And how easy it is to do, especially if you are doing it behind the scenes so that people are not even aware that it is being done. I based the "new" Jedi Council on large organizations or multi-national companies. In a way, the Jedi have always been a galaxy-wide force so they tend to think in a big way. As for history, I wouldn't be surprised if well-meaning organizations, as they grew in size and power, turned dark. There are lots of instances where benevolent governments changed radically over the years.
I like subtle. I just hope my subtle isn't so quiet as to be missed easily.
As for the dismissed Jedi, you will find out what is going on by the end of the fic...I promise. Otherwise....so many questions and if I answered them all, there would be no need for any more posts...LOL.
BTW, Arldetta, I live in NJ. I'll PM you!
Diane
-----signature-----
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Bekah_K
Registered:
Sep '02
|
Date Posted:
4/4/03 6:45pm
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
|
Qui's wife does seem a little uncaring towards the relationship that Qui and Obi had...has Qui even really told her how he really feels about Obi-Wan?
I've read responses where it is stated that Obi has hurt Qui...I'm guessing becausing Qui and his wife think that Obi did not
seek him out in the ten years that they have been separated...but, it's not Obi-Wan's fault. He did try. Obi-Wan is not to blame here.
Why did Qui-Gon not try to get a word to him somehow? And, why didn't he ask Obi-Wan to go with him? Qui could have finished his training and Knighted Obi-Wan himself. (But, alas, then the story probably couldn't have continued.)
I'm wondering what Anakin's part will be in all this.
Wonderful post!
As for the timing of the posts...slowing them down might be a good idea...can't say I like the idea of a monthly post, but then I'm not the one writing the story and I have no idea what it takes to write one. Maybe a weekly post? Would that slow it down enough to make it still flow smoothly without catching up to yourself too quickly? Just an idea.
Keep up the great work!
~Bek
-----signature-----
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Arldetta
Registered:
Jul '02
|
Date Posted:
4/4/03 7:05pm
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
|
Well, I love what your doing!! And I fully understand the bureaucracy of corporations. I work for a major brokerage firm and I have seen first hand how money dictates compassion and business. (knock wood) I have not yet fully felt the hand of 'cut-backs' but I have also had my fair share.
I thought your portrayal of real world ecomonics in this is perfect. I have often wondered about the backing of such an organazation like the Jedi order, but have never been knowledgable enough to attempt to rationalize it. Let alone write a story about it.
You're writing is wonderful. And I truely cannot wait to see more. As for your question, well I leave that up to you. I for one always want more immediately, so "moving fast" doesn't bother me to much. However, suspense is also a tolerable sensation. Since it is your story I defer the final decision to your good wisdom.
Gook Luck and keep writing!!
-----signature-----
Charter member of 'Obi-Torture Anonymous' Being Normal only happens to those not creative enough to develop their own psychosis. - me Please check bio for homepage and yahoo group.
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
forever_jedi
Registered:
Jun '02
|
Date Posted:
4/4/03 7:44pm
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
|
|
My two cents here, since I brought it up in the first place. I would like weekly posts so that we don't suddenly go from daily to monthly. That would be a horrible shock to my system, especially since I feel that by that time, the story would be unbearably suspenseful. However, I leave the decision to everyone else and most of all to you, dianethx.
-----signature-----
“Kenobi was luminous, a transparent being, a window onto a sunlit meadow of the Force.” RotS, Matt Stover.
"The Force will be with you, always."
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
LuvEwan
Registered:
Mar '02
|
Date Posted:
4/4/03 9:07pm
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
|
The silence in the landspeeder was absolute. The uneasy quiet between Master and apprentice had grown as their vehicle arrowed toward the soft haze of the distant spaceport. It deepened even as the night's second moon rose over the dappled hills and painted the far, jagged-toothed mountains in a pearlescent light. The breathtaking scene, a doubled-vision of black and white, did not relieve the tense stillness within.
Atel's face was its own landscape, sketched in lines of moonsglow and black and green, the instrument panel's reflected light patterning across her brow. Eyes hooded, mouth hard, her stress-cramped hands were stark with ivory outrage as she drove towards the port. Unaware of her turmoil and battling his own behind duracrete shields, Obi-Wan sat beside her, his figure outlined in chalk and charcoal, staring pensively and still into the vastness of space.
[face_shocked] Do you know how wonderful that description was, diane???
I was just in awe.
And now I'm so envious of you I could just explode. I've never had replies as long as you get!! That mean's people are very interested in what you're writing about. I'm so happy that this fic is getting all the attention it's deserved from day one.
And this problem with Altel is so frustrating! On one hand, she should follow the rules to become a Jedi, but the Order is crumbling and suffering from corruption, while her Master is still good and pure, and needs her devotion.
 What a fantastic plot you've created here!
I think every other day would be fine. Just get writing, so I won't have to wait too long.
-----signature-----
So it was Anakin's butt after all. He supposed he might take a modicum of comfort from that.
-Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, by Matthew Stover
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
JediNemesis
Registered:
Mar '03
|
Date Posted:
4/5/03 1:38am
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
|
With regard to posting times - every other day,every third day, I could probably even cope with one a week, but NO WAY could I endure a month's wait (  ) between posts. I'd be a nervous wreck long before the next post was due. 
This is great. I can't wait till it's finished - s'pose I'll have to though.
Heigh ho for Darth Archery.
Nemesis
-----signature-----
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
|
Date Posted:
4/5/03 11:00am
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
- Date Edited:
4/5/03 11:27am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
dianethx
|
Hi again Bekah_K I'm glad you find this fic so interesting.
Le'orath really has only seen what Qui-Gon has shown her about Obi-Wan. I think that he did really hope that his apprentice would try and keep in touch and it hurt him that no communications were forthcoming. Of course, how would Qui know that Obi was forced to stay away?
You asked a really good question. Why didn't Qui-Gon try to contact Obi-Wan? Well, unfortunately you will find out a bit of why in Chapter 12 (sorry about that). The other reason was that Qui-Gon was forbidden from contacting Obi-Wan when he was dismissed from the Temple - he was also told that Obi-Wan would be allowed to contact him after 6 months. Needless to say, at the 6 month mark, Qui-Gon was hip-deep in Gungans and Neimodians and trying to defend Naboo. He also didn't realize that the Order allowed no contact. I think that Qui-Gon would have taken the lack of contact as a sign that Obi-Wan probably thought that he was better off not contacting him (rather than what happened).
As for finishing Obi-Wan's training, Qui-Gon was one of the first to be dismissed. He couldn't know how much the Temple would change over the years. He thought it was better for Obi-Wan to leave him behind so that Obi could realize his dream of becoming a Knight.
You'll just have to wait and see about Anakin's part. You will be getting more of his past in Chapter 12...
Thanks for your comments.
-----signature-----
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
|
Date Posted:
4/5/03 11:18am
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
- Date Edited:
4/5/03 11:25am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
dianethx
|
Arletta Hi again.
I'm glad that you find my portrayal of real world economics perfect. Having had more than enough life experience with the underbelly of corporate/governmental politics/economics/foolishness, I tried to incorporate that into this fic - not to overwhelm it but rather as a backdrop on how those things affect our favorite Jedi...to make it more realistic.
When I wrote "But", I didn't realize that the Jedi were part of the Judical branch of the Republic government (it's on the SW website) so I did say that they got donations. I had thought of them more along the lines of a quasi-religious organization that is now accepting governmental funds (with all its attachments and there are always attachments).
Don't worry - I'm going to keep writing!!
forever_jedi I'm glad you brought up the whole posting schedule thing. It was beginning to worry me as well.
JediNemesis We can't be having you go into withdrawal, now can we???
Thanks for the compliment and good luck with the archery.
I just spent the last couple of hours making baking soda volcanos, dish soap matchstick speedboats and dancing grapes. Gotta love science for little kids....I know, I know...as she slinks off to write. Obi's in trouble again....
-----signature-----
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
|
Date Posted:
4/5/03 11:20am
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
|
OKAY EVERYONE - most people have said that they'd rather I slow down than cut them off to monthly posts as I catch up. I think that I must agree.
So I'm going to be posting on Mondays and Thursdays. I will slow down if it comes too close for comfort for those who could not bear a thought of a monthly post. Actually, it will help me out as well since I noticed that I've written maybe 2 paragraphs since I started posting here....
Wow, I never thought I'd have that problem. I figured that people would shrug and say whatever. I'm amazed and very grateful!!!
-----signature-----
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
|
Date Posted:
4/5/03 11:44am
Subject:
RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) Updated on 4/4
|
LuvEwan I am so glad that you liked that description at the beginning of Chapter 7. I really worked very hard on that to make it beautiful to read and yet convey the emotions that went along with the scene.
Actually, I use a thesaurus a lot!!! I write in Clarisworks first (which has a superb thesaurus), then bring it over to Word for grammar and spelling errors and then paste it here! Word's thesaurus really stinks so I don't use it at all.
LuvEwan You are envious of me??? I can't believe it and you shouldn't be envious. You get tons of replies....
My readers do seem to like to discuss what's going on in each post. I'm still amazed and very happy about it.
As for Atel, she's just doing the best she can....boy, I never thought that an OC would get that much discussion!!! I'm thrilled...really, I am.
What a fantastic plot you've created here! Oh, I like that. I just hope I can keep up with your expectations.
And now I will do as LE and others have said and get writing!!!
A new post on Monday.
-----signature-----
|
|
|
Quote Reply |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
