| Author |
Topic:
Broken - An Episode III Duel - Complete
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dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
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Date Posted:
5/19/03 4:00am
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 18 May #3
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Beautifully done and with such angst in Obi-Wan's heart. I like where this is leading. Now, Obi-Wan has come full circle and is back where he lost his Master. Will he lose his apprentice in the same place?
Looking forward to more.
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Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 11/20/08 jedidas3's Master At last - Hope for our country
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PaddyJuan
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
5/19/03 8:13am
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 18 May #3
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such very vivid descriptions. so well done.
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Smile, it makes everyone wonder what you are up to? ~~~ __((O.O))__ ~~~ Panther's Cub - http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=10596413 ~~ Panther's Cub is complete now ~~ others in bio
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ObiLegolas
Registered:
May '02
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Date Posted:
5/19/03 8:16am
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 18 May #3
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Oh, wow! I just found this fic. I've only read the first post so far but this is an excellent fic! Very well done, RRK! I'm glad to have finally found it. Can't wait to find the time to read the rest of it!
-----signature-----
Obi rules!
"There are no Atheists in a fox hole." old Military saying
"No plan, no matter how well designed, ever survives the first shot." Old Military Aphorism
"Take my love, take my land. Take me where I cannot stand." Joss Whedon, Firefly Theme
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red_rose_knight
Registered:
Sep '01
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Date Posted:
5/19/03 2:35pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 18 May #3
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naw ibo—Good god, it's like being there •• Thanks!  Yeah, well I hope the real duel(s) live up to my expectations and I am trying to keep an open mind about it too.  Ooooh, pretty pictures.  ::sits back and drools for a while::
Shaindl—Geez, Qui, if you can yell to Anakin for a couple minutes in AOTC, come back and talk to your suffering Padawan. •• He is probably off yelling at Anakin/Vader hoping to appeal to his calmer senses. 
Kelly Kenobi—How about that Obi/Garen story you promised??? You know how I love those two boys!!! •• Another month probably. This one sort of sidetracked me but I am back on the “Wild Knights: Grasping an Ancient Fire” wagon. Don’t forget Siri, she has a big part in this too. Maybe after “Broken” is finished I will throw some WK spoilers everyone’s way.
Sugar Bear—Yet, also inspiring to witness how the Jedi subsequently regrouped with quiet calm and dignity, ready to face his future fate. •• He will need it for the trial facing him.
PadawanKitara—
LuvEwan—Geez, Ewan even makes the word 'Tang' sound lovely... ••  •• every story is, in my opinion, a masterpiece •• I would hold off on any judgments until you reach the end.
dianethx—Now, Obi-Wan has come full circle and is back where he lost his Master. Will he lose his apprentice in the same place? •• You will find out soon enough. After today’s post there are only 4 more.
Froggy—such very vivid descriptions. so well done. •• Thanks!
ObiLegolas—Oh, wow! I just found this fic. •• Glad you did!
Back to the past and the catwalk…
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The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon.
– Robert Cromier
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red_rose_knight
Registered:
Sep '01
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Date Posted:
5/19/03 2:39pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 19 May #4
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Anamnesis:
Every breath came in shallow bursts as Obi-Wan retreated from Anakin’s extended reach. “You can stop this.”
“It is too late for that.” The younger paced the small area before an anchored workstation like a wounded Melorian tiger. The Borimai lights gave a cool sheen to his sweat dampened face. His intense gaze never left that of his former master as he moved across the deck toward the walkway the Jedi was so desperate to get too. With a cruel smile he shook his head in silent warning.
Anakin rushed forward, his weapon held in a two-handed grip.
The maintenance platform rattled with each landing, its size keeping the battle close-quartered as the combatants surged back and forth. The calmer Jedi easily deflected Anakin’s emotionally charged slashes, but Obi-Wan could do little to protect the catwalk as it suffered under the onslaught. He knew they would soon find themselves at the bottom of the Senate chamber if the battle did not quickly end.
Gathering the Force, the Jedi channeled it as he reached out. Anakin, as if sensing his adversary’s intent, leapt out of the way of the invisible attack and somersaulted over Obi-Wan’s head. The Jedi spun about slamming the rail that Anakin meant to land on with a Force push. The support shook, jarring the blond haired man from his would-be landing and nearly toppled him over the edge onto the glass dome below.
Before the youth could fall, Obi-Wan rushed forward, grasping the black material of his tunic and pulled him forward just enough to allow him to tumble safely onto the deck. With the sweep of his boot, he kicked the lightsaber hilt out of Anakin’s mechanical hand.
The instant the danger was sensed, it was too late and Anakin sent the Jedi flying. The young man rose to his feet and with a sharp motion called the dormant hilt back to his protective grasp. “More tricks and lies,” he said as the saber snap-hissed back to life.
A long, deep exhale was the only answer the Jedi offered as he sadly shook his head. After all these years, did Anakin really know him so little?
How could he have been so easily taken in by Palpatine’s dark machinations? The same way all the Jedi had, they believed what they did was in the service of the Republic. Palpatine had exploited Anakin’s weaknesses.
Pushing the thought to the side, cerulean eyes focused on his wayward apprentice. While his heart refused to accept it, he knew that it might very well be too late to save Anakin. Still unwilling to give up, his thoughts raced over a thousand things he could say, all of which he knew would be firmly rejected. Then, in silent acceptance, he knew where he had to go to reach the young man. “What about Padmé?”
The azure blade faltered.
Taking advantage of the moment and wishing not to continue fighting his padawan—Anakin was still his responsibility—the Jedi rushed forward, hoping to make it to the walkway spanning between two maintenance platforms. If nothing else, he wanted to reach stable ground to finish the fight.
Underfoot the platform wrenched hard tossing its occupants to the side. Obi-Wan desperately gripped the rail, turning back to see Anakin’s wickedly pleased expression and several severed suspension cables dangling next to him. A terrible moan filled the air as the deck twisted causing the catwalks attached to it to strain. Rivets cried out as they were pulled from their welding and the deck buckled.
A menacing look grazed Anakin’s usually handsome features as he raised a trembling fist. “You will not escape,” he said in an even tone. The Force writhed with the dark energies as it was brought to bear on the shuddering walkway. The platform shifted.
“Do not do this,” Obi-Wan softly said.
“He was right,” Anakin whispered.
With the simplest flick of his wrist, the fallen Jedi ripped a damaged section of walkway free and sent it flying to the side.
The chamber shook with the power of a great cataclysm the instant the twisted durasteel crashed into the Borimai glass. With the sound of a thousand cannons, the dome warped under the impact, then deep veins popped and laced across the shimmering surface maddening the strange lights.
“Where is my wife?” Anakin demanded. The glow of his bright blue weapon gave cruel lines to the tender flesh and formed dark shadows around his once gentle eyes.
“Safe,” was the singular reply.
Incensed by the answer, Anakin lunged at his former master, his blade cutting cleanly through the air. The static clash sparked over the connecting platform as the blades slid apart. Obi-Wan’s arms shook as he struggled to hold Anakin’s fierce attack back. Blocking the barrage, he twisted and kicked out. The heel of his boot squarely connected with the other man’s chest. Anakin grunted as he was thrown backward into the already damaged rail. The metal growled as it bent under the strain nearly toppling the former Jedi over the edge. His quick reflexes were all that saved him as he propelled himself forward again.
“Where is she?” Anakin cried out. His blade matching Obi-Wan’s stroke for stroke before being caught in a low block. Completing a turn, the youth’s bare hand crashed into the Jedi’s jaw. Obi-Wan countered with a foot driven into the back of Anakin’s calf.
The younger went down as Obi-Wan staggered back a step. The back of his hand dragging over his split lip smearing blood across the sweat coated flesh. Ginger strands dangled limply across his vision before being shoved back with rough fingers.
“She is afraid of what you have become,” Obi-Wan rasped, his weariness with the fight showing itself in the heavy breaths he allowed as he fell back into a defensive position. “She wishes only for the man she loved to return, not a servant of the darkness.”
“I am still that man,” Anakin replied with a harsh voice before rising to his feet. His gaze narrowed. “She has nothing to fear from me.”
“Does she?”
As a young initiate growing up in the Temple, Obi-Wan had always been filled with the warnings of not succumbing to the Dark Side. Fearful stories that he had held close all his life that even now in the heat of battle they came to him. For once touched by the Dark Side, forever would it dominate your path and all that you were would be lost.
He looked to Anakin and wondered if it were already too late.
No, he would not accept that.
The youth’s bright gaze sought out the Jedi’s calm but worn expression. For a moment, as brief as it was, Obi-Wan thought he saw a glimmer of the boy Anakin had once been. But like everything else, it passed into shadow as Anakin’s expression hardened.
“If she does fear me, it is only because you have poisoned her with your lies.”
Obi-Wan adjusted his footing as the platform shifted underfoot. “Do you think so little of her?”
“I have great faith in my wife. It is you whom I do not trust.”
“Padawan—“
“Don’t call me down like I am a child!” Anakin lashed out verbally and physically. Swiping the saber blade at a downward angle, Anakin left a long gash in the deck plating. “You have kidnapped my wife! What do you want me to think?” He struck driven by his anger.
Fire tore through the Jedi as Anakin’s weapon sliced across his upper arm. Biting back an agonized cry, he retreated as far as the small platform would allow.
As Anakin approached, he punctuated every footfall with a word, “Now, where is she?”
-----signature-----
The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon.
– Robert Cromier
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JadeSolo
Title: NSF managing NSWFF
Registered:
Sep '02
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Date Posted:
5/19/03 3:02pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 19 May #4
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oooooo, exciting!! Kick his @$$, Obi-Wan--I mean, uh...yeah.
I was just wondering, exactly what color is "ginger"? Because after "observing" countless pictures of Ewan, I have decided that his hair is a sort of reddish-blonde, and the AOTC novel describes it as "wheat-colored", but the official character guide says just plain brown. Such a mystery
mmmm, Tang!
-----signature-----
"If you expect a kick in the balls and you get a slap in the face, it's a victory."
"May God bless you and keep you always...I mean that in a civic deist way." -Prof. Siegel
"No guaranteed money, but all guaranteed fun!"
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Sugar_Bear
Registered:
Dec '01
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Date Posted:
5/19/03 5:41pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 19 May #4
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A thrilling and heated face to face with way cool fight choreography, RRK.
Exceptionally fine renderings of a desperate Obi-Wan, hoping beyond hope to redeem his padawan's tainted soul and of a ruthless Anakin, dangerously dark, with murderous intentions for his master on his mind.
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naw ibo
Registered:
Mar '99
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Date Posted:
5/19/03 5:44pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 19 May #4
- Date Edited:
5/19/03 5:51pm (2 edits total)
Edited By:
naw ibo
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RRK, I'm biting my nails reading that post--it was so tense. You write these duel scenes like nobody's business(and they say girls can't do action::pshaw:: ). This is so tragic and Obi-Wan is so desperate.
I'd say in Ewan/Obi's case ginger is sort of a reddish gold Ginger Ale color. It's not strong red but it isn't brown and it isn't quite blond.
It's kind of like his eyes, they aren't quite green, but they aren't quite blue and they aren't quite grey--in one article this week the writer said "his eyes could best be described as grey", yet on E! news when the two female reporters were gushing over him and trying to explain to their male cohort just what it was they made Ewan so gorgeous they said "he's got these bright green eyes and they sparkle" and yet I've also seen them described as sparkling blue as well.
I think that's why so many of us are so fond of him, even when you're looking right at him, he's still something of a mystery.
That beard is really getting there(and it's a good look at above mentioned hair color):
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dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
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Date Posted:
5/19/03 6:08pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 19 May #4
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It is hard to come up with new words to describe how wonderful this is. I can just picture the catwalk, the crash of the glass dome, the jumps and swirls of the lightsaber battle.
Looking forward to more!
-----signature-----
Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 11/20/08 jedidas3's Master At last - Hope for our country
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naw ibo
Registered:
Mar '99
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Date Posted:
5/19/03 6:32pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 19 May #4
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dianethx or how about the moaning of the metal as it suffered under their onslaught? I got the eeriest feeling reading that. This has such a sense of immediacy, which I think actually enhances the fact that it's a "flashback".
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PaddyJuan
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
5/19/03 7:13pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 19 May #4
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such a wonderful description of the action and the desperation/regret he is feeling.
-----signature-----
Smile, it makes everyone wonder what you are up to? ~~~ __((O.O))__ ~~~ Panther's Cub - http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=10596413 ~~ Panther's Cub is complete now ~~ others in bio
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red_rose_knight
Registered:
Sep '01
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Date Posted:
5/19/03 7:18pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 19 May #4
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JadeSolo--I was just wondering, exactly what color is "ginger"...the AOTC novel describes it as "wheat-colored" •• Naw's description is the best...as for wheat colored I suppose...maybe if you are describing "red" wheat and that is just because I have seen it all my life but ginger just sounds so much more interesting.
Sugar Bear--Exceptionally fine renderings of a desperate Obi-Wan, hoping beyond hope to redeem his padawan's tainted soul and of a ruthless Anakin, dangerously dark, with murderous intentions for his master on his mind. •• I love how beautifully you sum up the posts...of course, this is nothing....
naw ibo--You write these duel scenes like nobody's business •• Thanks! We will see....the other duel is about to begin. I hope the two battles hold up. I spent a lot of time watching the duels in TPM, AOTC and ANH for reference. •• Oh naw! What a beautiful picture. Sinatra and lightsabers dance in my head. Okay, so Sinatra has been dancing in my head since Friday night...it is now backed up by the hum of lightsabers.
dianethx--It is hard to come up with new words to describe how wonderful this is •• The old words work just as well.  Thank you for your kind words.
naw ibo--I got the eeriest feeling reading that. •• Really?
froggy--such a wonderful description of the action and the desperation/regret he is feeling. •• Thanks!
-----signature-----
The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon.
– Robert Cromier
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ObiLegolas
Registered:
May '02
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Date Posted:
5/19/03 8:20pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 19 May #4
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intriguing! Great job as usual, RRK! Come on Obi, take the brat out!
Hope to see more soon.
-----signature-----
Obi rules!
"There are no Atheists in a fox hole." old Military saying
"No plan, no matter how well designed, ever survives the first shot." Old Military Aphorism
"Take my love, take my land. Take me where I cannot stand." Joss Whedon, Firefly Theme
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PadawanKitara
Registered:
Dec '01
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Date Posted:
5/19/03 11:28pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 19 May #4
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I have gone so many months without an RRK story that I forgot about the adrenalin rush that goes along with reading the post. Especially these action packed scenes.
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Courtier of the Royal Order of Shambling Dufi
We are Dufi...Resistance is Futile!
UCLA BRUINS
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red_rose_knight
Registered:
Sep '01
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Date Posted:
5/20/03 2:46pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 19 May #4
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ObiLegolas—Hope to see more soon. •• Lucky for you then, another posty up in a moment.
PadawanKitara—I have gone so many months without an RRK story that I forgot about the adrenalin rush that goes along with reading the post. Especially these action packed scenes. •• Has it been that long? Wow. Well, hopefully you won’t have to wait that long for the next.
Thanks! I appreciate all your wonderful words.
The next two posts are really short so I have doubled up today. The first is the “present” and the second we go back…
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The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon.
– Robert Cromier
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