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Author
Topic:
Broken - An Episode III Duel - Complete
Kelly Kenobi
Registered:
Mar '00
Date Posted:
5/21/03 6:17pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 21 May #6
Stunning Red!!!! My biggest wish is that you would be writing Ep III. As much as I appreciate what talent he does posses, George could take some lessons from you in story telling and character delvelopment!
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Sugar_Bear
Registered:
Dec '01
Date Posted:
5/21/03 6:30pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 21 May #6
A fantastic post with pulse-pounding excitement and compelling interaction,
RRK
.
While it was painful to witness Obi-Wan being pummeled by Vader, it was quite a rush when the Jedi master drew blood in kind by attempting to appeal to what was left of the Dark Lord's humanity.
Splendidly Sithy portrayal of Anakin. His brutality and maliciousness in the face of Obi's repeated honorable and good-hearted intentions to save his arrogant, twisted, miserable hide perfectly demonstrates how far he has fallen.
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Sheila
Registered:
Oct '02
Date Posted:
5/21/03 8:12pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 21 May #6
It seems I am a bit late to this party. I don't know how I missed the start of a great new story by you
Red
and here it is almost done.
Your version of the fight between Obi-Wan and Anakin is awesome. I have a feeling Lucas' will pale in comparison but we can only hope he will allow some emotion to actually show through this time around. I am definitely glad I found this before you finished posting.
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PadawanKitara
Registered:
Dec '01
Date Posted:
5/21/03 9:20pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 21 May #6
I don't think Obi-wan could get thru to Ani/Vader no matter what he said- including mentioning QGJ and Padme. It seems that Palpy has done a good job of confusing the kid's mind so much that he no longer knows which way is up. And if he is already in black armour, it is safe to assume that he is already disfigured and half-dead. That would go a long way towards ruining his day.
-----signature-----
Courtier of the Royal Order of Shambling Dufi
We are Dufi...Resistance is Futile!
UCLA BRUINS
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ObiLegolas
Registered:
May '02
Date Posted:
5/22/03 6:44am
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 21 May #6
Poor Obi.
Nothing he said would have ever gotten through to Anakin. I think it would have been better if he'd let Anakin fall from the platform. Mean but it might have been more merciful.
Great descriptions, RRK!
-----signature-----
Obi rules!
"There are no Atheists in a fox hole." old Military saying
"No plan, no matter how well designed, ever survives the first shot." Old Military Aphorism
"Take my love, take my land. Take me where I cannot stand." Joss Whedon, Firefly Theme
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jedi7
Registered:
Jan '02
Date Posted:
5/22/03 8:03am
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 21 May #6
There is nothing like the adrenaline rush of a RRK story. WOW! 7
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red_rose_knight
Registered:
Sep '01
Date Posted:
5/22/03 2:16pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 21 May #6
froggy
—
ummm, your ani is a few bolts short of a droid
••
You think?
LuvEwan
—
And Obi-Wan, his actions and thoughts, remain beautiful and courageous, even in the face of lethal peril and his apprentice's gruesome mutation.
••
Silly Jedi, doesn’t he know when it is time to give in? Nope. That’s what we love about him.
naw ibo
—
I did not realize how empty was my cup, until it was filled again---I don't know how I got through these past few months without your story post a-day
••
And back to suffering this weekend for probably another month. Not to worry though, another story is on its way, I have written a dozen chapters this week just have about 4 dozen more and a quick clean up and it will be ready for daily posting.
Tattoo picture?
Kelly Kenobi
—
Stunning Red!!!!
••
Thanks!
Sugar Bear
—
While it was painful to witness Obi-Wan being pummeled by Vader, it was quite a rush when the Jedi master drew blood in kind by attempting to appeal to what was left of the Dark Lord's humanity.
••
Sheila
—
It seems I am a bit late to this party. I don't know how I missed the start
••
Better late than never.
I tried to sneak it passed everyone.
PadawanKitara
—
And if he is already in black armour, it is safe to assume that he is already disfigured and half-dead. That would go a long way towards ruining his day.
••
Just a little bit.
ObiLegolas
—
I think it would have been better if he'd let Anakin fall from the platform.
••
Maybe, but he could not try to save his padawan.
jedi7
—
There is nothing like the adrenaline rush of a RRK story. WOW!
••
Thanks!
-----signature-----
The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon.
– Robert Cromier
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red_rose_knight
Registered:
Sep '01
Date Posted:
5/22/03 2:21pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 22 May #7
“You were always a fool,” Vader’s deep voice intoned as his crimson saber flew forward with the determination to put an end to the battle of words only to be stopped by a powerful block. Red clashed and sparked against blue.
The Force buffered the calm figure, shielding him from the bone jarring crash of weapons. Vader moved about quickly striking at him from every angle, seeking the first instance of weakness in the Jedi’s defense. Try though as the dark lord might, Obi-Wan endured.
The Jedi easily dodged each wild slash and potentially fatal swing of the sword. While every explosion of meeting blades made his heart ache more, he knew that the time for speaking was over. Vader would not listen and Anakin Skywalker was gone.
Yet he was loathe to give in so completely. “Anakin.”
The word was jolted from him as he was pressed to defend against an unwavering thrust. Mere centimeters spared his life. Then just as swiftly as the attack had begun, it ended as Vader retreated a step. The black cape swept around the dark figure, gliding just above the powder-strewn floor.
Taking the moment, Obi-Wan wiped the cream-colored edge of his sleeve across his split cheek collecting a large red stain on the material.
With the slightest wave, Vader commanded the Force to send the Jedi flying backward with an invisible hand and shattered the spell of calm Obi-Wan had possessed.
Before the Jedi could regain his balance, the dark lord threw himself forward. The blood-hued blade sliced low followed through with a wild upper cut that glanced off blue. Unrivaled power flowed through the black shrouded figure as he hammered the blade down on his opponent. Every successful impact drove the Jedi another step closer to the melting pit.
Obi-Wan gritted his teeth, struggling for purchase even as he was shoved over the grit-covered stone floor. A deep throb built in his muscles as he absorbed the brunt of each blow. “You can stop this,” he said between ragged breaths.
Blood tickled as it oozed down the side of his face from the gash below his right eye. The thick red fluid oozed itself into the ginger hairs of his beard. His arms shook from the strain as he parried a downstroke. Countering, his pale blue blade clipped the black armor at the dark lord’s shoulder.
An orange explosion of sparks from a damaged mechanism went unnoticed as Vader eliminated the space between them. Scarlet flashed and with the flick of a wrist the dark lord inflicted a thin slash across the Jedi’s back.
Jerking hard to the right, while fighting against the newfound pain, Obi-Wan turned and kicked out connecting the back of Vader’s knee.
The masked figure roared as he sank to the floor before catching himself. With a frustrated growl, the fallen Jedi moved faster than the cumbersome suit belied and drove his weapon forward. “This ends now!”
Fighting against the injury, the Jedi bounded backward, a mere step ahead of the lethal weapon. The cream of his tunic hung open revealing the torn flesh that grazed his spine. Breathing heavily Obi-Wan retreated beyond the Sith’s reach and dropped his saber arm to his side. After a brief pause, the blue blade was disengaged.
He was tired.
While his vision had remained somewhat blurred, the pain in his head had been relegated to a place where it would not interfere with the combat. Every breath burned and he struggled to reach his calm center.
Pale azure met the hidden gaze of his apprentice—friend—as he awaited Vader’s next move.
It was a mercifully short wait.
Vader whirled about in a flourish and rushed the Jedi once more. Red sliced through the still air, its aim true and clear.
An instant of blue.
In the distance of a heartbeat, a width of meters stood between the two men, flaming weapons in hand, as silence reclaimed the chamber.
Obi-Wan stumbled.
Uneven boot falls echoed in the sudden silence. The blade once more disengaged as the silver cylinder slipped from numb fingers and clattered to the floor. Every breath burned as he clutched his wounded shoulder. The stench of burned flesh and material wafted about. Vader had made contact.
The fire of a dying age had left a deep gash from the top of the Jedi’s shoulder down across his chest. The scorched material of his tunic gaped open revealing the angry wound.
Pain swam in the blue depths of his eyes as he wavered before gaining enough strength to face Vader once more. Through the fog of physical agony, he slowly became aware of the other man’s mechanical breathing. Though now it was no longer that even, mechanized sound. A haunting wheeze and click bled from the dark figure.
The Sith straightened, revealing an equally devastating slash across his chest plate. His suit controls were heavily damaged by the Jedi’s final effort. The click and wheeze of his forced breathing filled the chamber.
A languid motion of the dark lord’s gloved hand commanded the unbridled power of the Dark Side. He sent the Jedi crashing into the wall.
-----signature-----
The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon.
– Robert Cromier
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dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
Date Posted:
5/22/03 3:43pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 22 May #7
Oh, again, wonderfully done. Both injured and yet Vader is still willing to fight. Poor Obi-Wan, so tired of fighting and in such pain.
Can't wait for more....
-----signature-----
Betrayal -
http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143
updated 9/22/08
Fragments of Illusion-
http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473
updated 11/20/08
jedidas3's Master
At last - Hope for our country
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ObiLegolas
Registered:
May '02
Date Posted:
5/22/03 4:41pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 22 May #7
NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't leave us there! Poor Obi, that had to have hurt! Glad he got a good blow on Vader as well. As usual, very well written.
OT: Anybody see Down With Love? I saw it today. It was hillarious!
Ewan is awesome in it!
-----signature-----
Obi rules!
"There are no Atheists in a fox hole." old Military saying
"No plan, no matter how well designed, ever survives the first shot." Old Military Aphorism
"Take my love, take my land. Take me where I cannot stand." Joss Whedon, Firefly Theme
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Sugar_Bear
Registered:
Dec '01
Date Posted:
5/22/03 4:55pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 22 May #7
Breath-taking imagery in a mesmerizing furious clash of laser swordplay,
RRK
.
Obi-Wan's Light side focus and perpetual cool was a striking contrast to Vader's Dark side power and unhinged rage.
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naw ibo
Registered:
Mar '99
Date Posted:
5/22/03 5:16pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 22 May #7
-
Date Edited:
5/29/03 8:04pm
(2 edits total)
Edited By:
naw ibo
Eek, you and your danged cliffhangers, RRK!
I'm breathless in anticipation and I hate leaving Obi-Wan in such pain and exhaustion.
edited out picture link no longer valid
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Sheila
Registered:
Oct '02
Date Posted:
5/22/03 5:47pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 22 May #7
Wow, that was an awesome fight scene
Red
.
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JadeSolo
Title:
NSF managing NSWFF
Registered:
Sep '02
Date Posted:
5/22/03 9:30pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 22 May #7
Wow. I feel like I'm there. Of course, I I really were there, I would've charged at Vader by now (hey, I may be small, but I'm vicious
). I think it's funny how we're all thinking "Oh no! What going to happen next?!" when we kind of know what'll happen--at least in the long run. And I have to say that the image of the "fire of a dying age" was very moving, very sad.
OT to naw ibo: Okay, the tattoo is pretty honkin' big, but you have to admit, it's a very sweet and loving gesture. Although I wonder: what happens if he and Eve have another baby?
Back to the man with the big honkin' needle!
And wow, you've got some really niiiiice pictures
-----signature-----
"If you expect a kick in the balls and you get a slap in the face, it's a victory."
"May God bless you and keep you always...I mean that in a civic deist way." -Prof. Siegel
"No guaranteed money, but all guaranteed fun!"
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PadawanKitara
Registered:
Dec '01
Date Posted:
5/22/03 9:47pm
Subject:
RE: Broken - An Episode III Duel - 22 May #7
Agree with JadeSolo about the tattoo- It's just the "N" word that I have problems with. Obviously, he doesn't.
As for the fight scene- OH WOW
-----signature-----
Courtier of the Royal Order of Shambling Dufi
We are Dufi...Resistance is Futile!
UCLA BRUINS
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