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Author	Topic: Spirit Warriors of Angharad COMPLETE Link to MS Word version available 8/4
ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 7/18/04 1:40pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (68/?) 7/18
	LOL! I'm not sure I'd wish being an apprentice Sith Lord on anybody, but I'm sure Vengeance would appreciate the sentiment, if he were capable of appreciating sentiments at all. -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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solojones Registered: Sep '00	Date Posted: 7/19/04 1:24pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (68/?) 7/18
	First off, I'm not quite sure how I manage to get compliments in a story thread that's not my own, but thank you anyway Authors spend a lot of time and put a lot of effort into their work, and I wouldn't feel right giving any less back to them. I just have a gift (or curse, depending on how you look at it ) of being very analytical so I try to put it to good use. Sure, it can take some time, but it’s worth my time to serve these people in my own little way. Besides, I do enjoy it myself Besides, I feel as though I've found a kindred spirit in many ways in Ophelia. I definitely look up to and admire both her writing abilities and her attitudes as a person. It's not every author who can provoke both thoughtful silence and laughter with her work and/or replies to comments. This story started out so very devoid of readers, which completely baffled me. I am overjoyed to see it now win the best underrated award and garner more attention. It's to the reader's benefit to find such a great story and Ophelia most certainly deserves all your kind responses. And Ophelia, I’m glad you’ve taken note of my profile picture. Now you know not to think about messing with me. I have mastered the exquisite art of the Samurai photoshop On another note, I know it's absolutely horrible to make any connections between Kwai and Star Wars I just couldn't help it. Honestly, though, in its own right, Kwai is a marvelous film. And you are completely right about Alec's character- hardcore. That's precisely the word I was thinking of when watching the film Without further tap dancing around the subject, I submit for your approval, some comments (pardon my inaptitude for brevity. I did have about 11 posts to catch up on, though). Obi-Wan’s hand immediately went for his lightsaber, and Anakin did the same. Matreya backed quickly out of the way as the two Jedi stood ready to draw. I would say that’s a good idea, Matreya Being stuck between two Jedi who were about to draw their lightsabers would be an unnerving experience for most people, and he was glad she’d done the sensible thing and gotten out of the way. Wow, that was weird. Get out of my head Obi-Wan/Ophelia! There were few people in the galaxy who knew less about pregnancy and childbirth than a male Jedi Knight For some reason this just struck me as really funny. I guess it’s because it conjured up images in my mind of Obi-Wan, Mace, and Ki-Adi Mundi trying to assist at Lamaze class or something. Not so wise now, are we boys? Ordinarily, Obi-Wan would have just told her to disengage the backpack and let it fall, but he doubted she’d be willing to lose the damned droid. I’m very glad you could find a way to work into this story one of the big themes in the Star Wars saga- the love between people and their droids… and how baffled certain people are by this phenomenon I see another Obi-Wan/Han connection. Or maybe that’s just my overactive imagination once again. It’s 2pm and I just woke up. Give me a break. Her eyes caught his for moment, and he took in her terror, her desperate desire to believe that he could make things right. He was a Jedi Knight, after all. Jedi could fix anything. It’s a horrible burden for Jedi to have other people thinking this way, because it gets them thinking this way as well. If only they could fix everything, but they can’t. I feel like, for some reason, this line might be some kind of foreshadowing for this story… perhaps something to do with Matreya learning Jedi are just as human as the rest of us. You don’t have to reveal anything if you don’t want to, Ophelia. Two winks if I’m on the right track, one if I’m not. No one will know. We’re so sly. This whole scene with Matreya dangling rather precariously on the bridge and Obi-Wan trying to help her was intense. I’m really glad that I didn’t have to read post 58 and then wait to see what happened in post 59. Not only is there this threat to Matreya’s life, but you keep working in the general situation with the bridge being blown apart as well. Actually, this whole chapter has been full of great tension. I find it rather cinematic, and I like that, because I’m a cinephile I’m still amazed at your ability to make these chapters actually drawn out and developed like real novel chapters. That’s definitely something I seem to have trouble doing. My version of this chapter would have been something like: “They came to a bridge and people were shooting! Matreya started to slip, but Obi-Wan stopped her. The bad guys shot the bridge up, and Anakin and Obi-Wan were stuck on opposite sides of the bridge. Then some stuff happened and they went back to Coruscant. The end.” “He’s shooting out the main support,” Anakin called back. //Oh . . . of course.// Anakin’s not exactly the quickest thinker, is he? It’s not exactly an insult to his character, but it’s just a fact. And it can be quite funny to point out in stories when juxtaposed against Obi-Wan’s wisdom. Then again, there are definitely situations in which Obi-Wan can be utterly, entirely clueless. Obi-Wan could sense the boy’s turmoil of grief and anxiety over what might well be a final parting, but Anakin very consciously, deliberately, set those feelings aside and resigned himself to obeying his Master. For a moment, Obi-Wan picked up his thoughts through the Force, expressed more in images and emotions than in words: //I’d have followed you to the end. I’d have followed you anywhere.// This whole section was truly touching. I could picture this as a poignant, wordless moment, but so much being communicated nonetheless. It’s great that you could work in some of the deep friendship and camaraderie these two have. I wish we’d have seen more of it in AOTC, but I hope we will in Episode III. A lot of people got the feeling that these two completely hate each other from AOTC and write it that way, but I don’t think that’s how it is at all. The last thought Anakin sends Obi-Wan through the Force very much reminded me of Aragorn’s words to Frodo at the end of FotR… which just made it all the more touching because I love LotR. I think maybe one of the reasons people shy away from writing Obi-Wan and Anakin as being close despite their disagreements and tensions is because it really baffles the mind to think that in a few years Anakin will be trying to kill Obi-Wan. But I think that’s just part of showing how heartbreaking his turning really will be. “Yes, Master Jedi,” she said finally. At least he was rescuing someone with the common sense not to argue. You’re right, this definitely has a 40s movie feel to it. The heroine is strong but is more than happy to have the hero protect her. How romantic! Swoon! falls expectantly towards Obi-Wan’s arms Obi-Wan had to force himself to turn and look away. He wanted the boy and the child he carried off the bridge, but he couldn’t deny the practical wisdom of what Anakin was doing. It’s nice to see that Anakin still retains some of his desire to help other people before himself at this point. It’s also a very interesting and realistic paradox for Obi-Wan to both be proud of his apprentice for this but at the same time to be worried for his safety. You write a very fatherly streak in Obi-Wan that I don’t think even he is fully aware of having. But I definitely like it. He swore with uncharacteristic vehemence as he glanced back at the bridge behind him. I don’t know why, but this just made me laugh. I think it’s just a very funny image to think of this very noble, chivalrous man letting out a string of not-so-noble words. Actually, it made me giggle. Feel my forehead… do I feel warm to you? the Force had always been a bewildering Master--fondly tousling his hair with one hand while it rapped his knuckles with the other. This personification of the Force was interesting to me. A lot of the times, people seem to write the Force in more of the “it obeys your commands” way rather than the “it controls your actions” way. It’s supposed to be a balance of both, and portraying it as a Master was a great way to get this across. To the Jedi, it’s not just a clever trick they can use but something that governs their way of life. Even still, he was concerned for her. I’m sure he is I really can’t wait to see this develop more. I just know you’re going to do a lovely job with it, and it’s driving me crazy with anticipation. His pride wouldn’t let him type like some juice-wired data slicer, however, and he took the time to write an actual sentence. Are you saying Obi-Wan would be a grammar Nazi were he a JC poster? Ok, I’d have to agree I love the little touch of having Anakin communicate like a typical, rushed teenager on IM. “Step were I step, my lady.” “Where” … small typo that I know we’ve all done multiple times. Just thought I might note it for you. I really like the way you’re slowly showing each of their conceptions of the other to be breaking down. The mention of Obi-Wan’s previous visit to Matreya’s homeworld and impression of its women was great. They both have stereotypes for the other in their heads, but when you’re actually confronted with individuals, stereotypes often do not hold. “Well, I can help you carry it, my lady,” he said, slinging the pack over his own shoulders. “It’s better that you save your strength. I fear we may have a long way to go.” She smiled up at him almost shyly and said, “Thank you, Master Jedi.” He suspected the thanks were not so much for picking up the pack as for allowing her to speak of her lost friends only as much as she was ready to. I just adore the way you write their exchanges. There’s a kind of tacit tenderness and understanding there which the romantic in me (you didn’t know there was one, but trust me, there is ) finds quite beautiful. Matreya has a nice, quiet grace about her that I can definitely see Obi-Wan admiring. And Obi-Wan is Obi-Wan, so I can definitely see any member of the female species admiring him “Well . . . that’s what Jedi do,” he said. “No thanks are necessary, my lady.” Appreciated, maybe, since lately everyone else in the galaxy seemed eager to tell him how he was doing his job wrong, but certainly not necessary. communal awwww I can just picture him kind of looking down and trying to brush it off as no big deal. But clearly, he really does appreciate the compliment. He definitely is someone who, in my opinion, gets the short end of the stick a lot of the time and has way too much expectation of his own and others on his shoulders. It’s nice to see someone who appreciates his gentle servant’s heart. Have I mentioned how much I love their relationship already? He was Jedi enough to agree that he and Anakin should keep electronic communication to an absolute minimum, but he was human enough to hate the idea of having the boy out of contact for so long. That was a great line which quickly, very easily delineated the main internal conflict in Obi-Wan’s training of Anakin. He is first and foremost concerned with helping the boy to become a good Jedi, but he can’t help becoming attached to him as a son either, no matter how much he tries not to. “may the Force be with you too master i love you,” Anakin wrote, the words spilling across Obi-Wan’s datapad screen like a glowing river of text…. Obi-Wan couldn’t bear to write “goodbye,” so he carefully typed, “See you in Nidawi.” Then the time and date stamp of Anakin’s signoff appeared and the screen went blank. Obi-Wan snapped the cover firmly shut and replaced the datapad in his belt pouch. May I say that if I’m going to read mush, at least it’d better be good mush! I found this tender moment to be quite in character for both of them. For all his knowledge of the dangers of attachment for a Jedi, Obi-Wan can’t help but love Anakin. He tries to convince himself that he only responds with “I love you” because there’s no time to give Anakin a lecture right now. It’s clear by this last line, however, that the real reason is that he does love the boy and fears very much for what might happen to him. And yet you manage to convey all of this without letting Obi-Wan slide out of character, because all the while he’s never admitting the truth to himself. I think for Obi-Wan, the danger of being in a father/son relationship again is in losing that connection. It’s my opinion that this, more than the Code, is why he tries so hard to emphasise this need for distance to Anakin. We saw how much Qui-Gon’s death hurt Obi-Wan, and I don’t think he wants to have to risk going through that kind of thing again. Unfortunately, we all know how that turns out. I’m pretty sure Obi-Wan’s first few years at least after Episode III can be summed up with Simon and Garfunkle’s “I am a Rock”. Don’t get any songfic ideas, now, Ophelia, because I’m sure you were thinking about it I have definitely thought about that song, though, when considering how I’m going to write that part in SotC. For a short time, that taint had marked Obi-Wan as well, and he had never forgotten the horror of that experience. Oh, had it? I’m glad we agree on that. I think some writer’s are too quick to focus only on Obi-Wan’s missing Qui-Gon directly post-TPM and forget about what a brush with the Dark Side does to you. The cave. Remember your failure at the cave! What would a presence like that do to a vulnerable sixteen-year-old boy who was out of all contact with his Master? It was not something Obi-Wan even wanted to think about. I don’t think I want to think about it, either It’s better for Obi-Wan not to, though, because right now there’s not really anything he can do about it. In the words of Threepio, though, “Oh dear, oh dear.” Sidious’ discipline had proved near-fatal at times, but it had taught him that a Sith warrior did not wreak uncontrolled destruction as the mood struck him. A Sith was patient; he watched and waited until his enemy was at his weakest. Then he struck once, and struck hard. And, despite what some people who like to see big, destructive villains might think… this is, IMHO, the creepiest and most dangerous type of villain of all. The reason Palpatine’s such an awesome, diabolical villain is because he stores up his hatred to release it at the most opportune moment… just thinking about what that is going to be like makes me shudder. So there’s a back-story even for Vengeance. Darn you with your characters and plot and… makeout parties … sorry, Family Guy reference Nothing to see here. You may go about your business. Move along. -sj loves kevin spacey -----signature----- 6 x 9 = 42 Proud member of the Colbert Nation My short films: http://www.youtube.com/solojones1138
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sdhfs Registered: May '04	Date Posted: 7/19/04 2:12pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (68/?) 7/18
	I for one can't wait any longer post pleaseeeeeeeee -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/16229314/?30 Up is obidala at it's best love chooses you you don 't choose it. Death is but death why are you afraid of it ?
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ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 7/19/04 2:47pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (69/?) 7/19
	Okay . . . sorry, sdhfs! Rough day so far . . . And I'll have to get to solojones's staggeringly complimentary comments in a little bit. **** He reminded himself that the child of his recollection was dead, consumed by the fire that became Darth Vengeance. If the galaxy had ever wronged the pathetic little creature of his recollection, then the grown and deadly warrior would see the injury repaid a thousandfold. The Sith softly breathed his name aloud to himself, as a reminder of his goal and purpose: "Vengeance." He thrust out one arm and glared down at the spiderweb of scars that crisscrossed his vestigial gliding wing. The wing was a grayish membrane stretching from the underside of his arm nearly down to his ankles, and a fan of delicate pseudotarsal bones gave tension and mobility to the structure. Most Illorians couldn't fly with the things—in fact, most had theirs removed as children, the better to accommodate the clothes and contrivances of a wingless galaxy--but then, most Illorians didn't have the power or of the Dark Side with them. Vengeance traced the scarred web with one claw, lightly drawing beads of blood, his scowl turning to a smile of satisfaction at the dark, glistening hatred the sight brought forth in him. Vengeance worked to forge that hatred into a weapon for dispatching Anakin Skywalker, or more accurately, for duping the foolish boy into dispatching himself. The Jedi whelp would be an easy target now. In truth, all Skywalker had ever really had in his favor was sheer, raw power, and Kenobi had deliberately refused to train him how to use it. Crippled by the shackles of ignorance and burdened with the dead weight of the Jedi Code, Skywalker didn't stand a chance. ~~ As darkness fell in Kilaiya Gorge, Obi-Wan found himself becoming increasingly nervous. He told himself that it was just a Master’s natural tendency to fret over his Padawan, and that the boy was probably perfectly safe. However, his dread grew as the light faded from the sky. No matter how hard he tried to reason his anxieties away, they prickled and jabbed at him, demanding his attention. He began to get the very uneasy feeling that Anakin was in real danger. //What can you do for him if he is?// he scolded himself. //You aren’t helping him by allowing yourself to indulge in your fears. You’re only weakening your focus and your ability to fight off dangers you can do something about. You need to follow your own advice and practice some acceptance, Master.// A short time ago the light had become too uncertain for travel, and he and Matreya had made a sort of camp in a natural shelter comprised of slabs of rock. The great stones had fallen in such a way that they left a little cave inside. Not the Glory of Alderaan Hotel, maybe, but it was serviceable. It appeared to have been used by hunters or travelers before, which he supposed was Angharad’s equivalent of a four-star rating. At the moment, Matreya was inside setting up a sleeping place for herself, while Obi-Wan stood outside the mouth of the little cave, staring out into the dark forest. *** End 69/? -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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sdhfs Registered: May '04	Date Posted: 7/19/04 3:34pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (69/?) 7/19
	Go ahead vengance carve that ******* up -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/16229314/?30 Up is obidala at it's best love chooses you you don 't choose it. Death is but death why are you afraid of it ?
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kayladie97 Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 7/19/04 4:17pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (69/?) 7/19
	To tell you how much I am loving this story...my beta just sent me back chapter 16 of Sleight of Hand...but I came here to get caught up on this before I post it! Apology to my readers, it's all Ophelia's fault! Loved the bit with Anakin and Obi-Wan communicating by IM. Such a nice little insight into their characters from such a simple thing. I never do text messaging or IMs on the computer myself because I can't stand to write in incomplete sentences! So I suppose Obi-Wan and I have something in common there. Vengeance is seriously giving me the creepies! How much more frightening is this guy, that he could have stomped on the line of refugees at any point and didn't, because he wanted it to be more satisfying!? shudder Something tells me Obi-Wan is very justified in feeling apprehensive about Anakin's safety at the moment. Since I don't have any preferences romantically for Obi-Wan, I'm interested in seeing how the relationship between him and Matreya will play out. Still, what I'm really waiting for is that confrontation between Anakin and Vengeance! -----signature----- My new philosophy of life (borrowed from Elvis Presley) "The sun's down and the moon is pretty. It's time to ramble."
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ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 7/19/04 6:16pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (69/?) 7/19
	Thank you all so much for your kind comments. They came at just the right time . . . I managed to both get sick and hit my head (no causal relationship) the week my project is due for my summer class. I have since been sitting here with an ice pack on my head, feeling paranoid, since the next step in the chain of misfortune will probably be an invasion of Nazi frogmen or something. Anyway . . . it's an understatement to say you've made my day. shdfs: I think you will be happy with the end of this chapter. kayladie97 wrote: To tell you how much I am loving this story...my beta just sent me back chapter 16 of Sleight of Hand...but I came here to get caught up on this before I post it! Whoa! I'm not worthy!! I never do text messaging or IMs on the computer myself because I can't stand to write in incomplete sentences! I do, but I actually use capitalization and punctuation, which immediately marks me as over 30. I wish I had the text of an IM conversation between me and my 16-year-old sister . . . it looks a lot like that Anakin/Obi-Wan conversation. Only she writes in pink. Vengeance is seriously giving me the creepies! How much more frightening is this guy, that he could have stomped on the line of refugees at any point and didn't, because he wanted it to be more satisfying!? shudder Something tells me Obi-Wan is very justified in feeling apprehensive about Anakin's safety at the moment. When I was developing Vengeance's character, I "cast" Crispin Glover as the guy who "plays" him . . . not the Glover from "Back to the Future," mind you, the Glover from "The River's Edge" . . . only without the whininess. That has got to be the scariest adolescent/young adult performance I have ever seen. Since I don't have any preferences romantically for Obi-Wan, I'm interested in seeing how the relationship between him and Matreya will play out. So far, people seem to have liked her well enough, or have been too polite to say otherwise. I was worried they'd throw old tin cans. Still, what I'm really waiting for is that confrontation between Anakin and Vengeance! They mix it up at the end of this chapter, which is a ways away yet, but hopefully will be worth the wait. Solojones wrote: First off, I'm not quite sure how I manage to get compliments in a story thread that's not my own, That's 'cause you rock, man. Besides, I feel as though I've found a kindred spirit in many ways in Ophelia. I definitely look up to and admire both her writing abilities and her attitudes as a person. Geez, you're gonna make me cry in front of the entire Internet. Thank you, solojones . . . I think you're gorgeous and brilliant and I wish I could say you reminded me of me when I was your age, except actually I was a doofwad. I'm sure your screenwriting career will go off without a hitch, if that's what you choose to do with your life. (I add the caveat because people used to say things like that about me, and I'm writing fanfic and studying to be a special ed teacher. Sometimes I have to think happy thoughts to keep from feeling like I've let my old teachers down.) This story started out so very devoid of readers, which completely baffled me. That's been par for the course over my fanfic "career," for some reason. It could be because I don't post a lot and nobody has a clue who I am. Or it could be because I kinda suck. One must always keep one's mind open to such possibilities. And Ophelia, I’m glad you’ve taken note of my profile picture. Now you know not to think about messing with me. I have mastered the exquisite art of the Samurai photoshop Yeah, I noticed the reflection of the shoes on the floor. "Impressive, most impressive . . ." I only just learned about using antialiasing to keep stuff you paste into a picture from looking like a cut-out from a magazine. You can tell I hadn't mastered that skill when I made "Spirit Warriors'" cover, such as it is. I kind of like the composition, but the Photoshop job is terrible. Without further tap dancing around the subject, I submit for your approval, some comments (pardon my inaptitude for brevity. I did have about 11 posts to catch up on, though). Actually, I very much look forward to your posts. They're kind of like e-mail, only in a story thread. For some reason this just struck me as really funny. I guess it’s because it conjured up images in my mind of Obi-Wan, Mace, and Ki-Adi Mundi trying to assist at Lamaze class or something. Not so wise now, are we boys? If all the fics that place Anakin at the birth of the twins are right, then the answer is "no." I’m very glad you could find a way to work into this story one of the big themes in the Star Wars saga- the love between people and their droids… and how baffled certain people are by this phenomenon I see another Obi-Wan/Han connection. Or maybe that’s just my overactive imagination once again. It’s 2pm and I just woke up. Give me a break. Lord, I hear you. I was in bed nursing this headache until 3 a.m. (The doctor says it's not a concussion, so if my mental faculties seem impaired, it's only due to the usual malfunctioning of my brain.) I think Obi-Wan may have complicated feelings about droids . . . he's made some disparaging remarks about them: "If droids could think, there'd none of us be here, would we?" and "He's more machine now than man . . . twisted and evil." Personally, I see a religious person's reluctance to blur the line between life and non-life, since such blurring can make life seem less special. (I don't know that I agree, but what the hey.) The parallel with Han wasn't an intentional one, but you're right that there's a tradition of "stupid driod!" humor in Star Wars. The PT could use a lot more Han-esque humor, IMO. It’s a horrible burden for Jedi to have other people thinking this way, because it gets them thinking this way as well. If only they could fix everything, but they can’t. I feel like, for some reason, this line might be some kind of foreshadowing for this story… perhaps something to do with Matreya learning Jedi are just as human as the rest of us. Damn you're good . . . but she's not who the lesson's primarily aimed at. This whole scene with Matreya dangling rather precariously on the bridge and Obi-Wan trying to help her was intense. I'm so glad that people have liked that scene . . . I was worried about it. "Cinematic" can sometimes mean "done in every action flick since Errol Flynn," and I knew that going in, but I didn't want it to come off as hackneyed or a blatant rip-off. It's supposed to be a subtle rip-off, after all. My version of this chapter would have been something like: “They came to a bridge and people were shooting! Matreya started to slip, but Obi-Wan stopped her. The bad guys shot the bridge up, and Anakin and Obi-Wan were stuck on opposite sides of the bridge. Then some stuff happened and they went back to Coruscant. The end.” Hmm . . . having seen your writing, I suspect not. Being a natural navel-gazer, it took me a long time to be able to write action scenes (as opposed to internalization scenes where people stand in the rain and have 3-page flashbacks). I finally decided that the trick was to put no effort into action scenes at all. I have to write them straight through really fast, and then go back later to fix any pacing and continuity problems. (I've got a minor one of those at the end of ch. 8 that is supposedly my current assignment, after I finish my class project. And write this.) Writing really, really fast with no intrusions from the internal editor seems to keep action scenes "clean," with only the essential amount of information. It also means that they get done fast, unlike internalization scenes, which still take me forever. ("Why look at that raindrop . . . it reminds me of the oil crisis of the early 70's. Yes, that was another time, a more innocent time . . . etc, etc, etc.) A lot of people got the feeling that these two completely hate each other from AOTC and write it that way, but I don’t think that’s how it is at all. I don't think that's how it's supposed to be . . . or at least I hope not. Half the saga loses its emotional impact if Obi-Wan and Anakin never liked each other. The last thought Anakin sends Obi-Wan through the Force very much reminded me of Aragorn’s words to Frodo at the end of FotR… which just made it all the more touching because I love LotR. You know, that scene might have been in the back of my mind. I knew that paragraph came too easy. I think maybe one of the reasons people shy away from writing Obi-Wan and Anakin as being close despite their disagreements and tensions is because it really baffles the mind to think that in a few years Anakin will be trying to kill Obi-Wan. But I think that’s just part of showing how heartbreaking his turning really will be. I really hope so! Somebody around here used to have a sig quote that said, "Make me cry in 2005." I hope GL does. And if he doesn't, <Bogie>"We'll always have fanfic."</Bogie> You’re right, this definitely has a 40s movie feel to it. The heroine is strong but is more than happy to have the hero protect her. I just couldn't see him going for a Mara Jade type . . . not as a gender politics thing, but as a personality thing. I decided that the fastest way to his heart was through his protective instincts, and have exploited them shamelessly. If the story covered a longer span of time I could see pairing him up with more of a fellow-warrior type, though. Actually, an author named Elsimor did just that in a story called None of Us Perfect, which isn't on the boards, but is PG. (Actually the female OC is an ex of Obi-Wan's, but still.) Definitely worth checking out, IMO. It’s nice to see that Anakin still retains some of his desire to help other people before himself at this point. He's a very sweet boy in many ways . . . he's just a romantically-obsessed, adrenaline-addicted loony. That's all. This personification of the Force was interesting to me. A lot of the times, people seem to write the Force in more of the “it obeys your commands” way rather than the “it controls your actions” way. It’s supposed to be a balance of both, and portraying it as a Master was a great way to get this across. To the Jedi, it’s not just a clever trick they can use but something that governs their way of life. Obi-Wan's loyalties seem very personal to me, much as he insists that they're not. He goes on and on about the Jedi Code, but when push comes to shove, he chooses to honor Qui-Gon's dying wish instead of following the letter of the law. (To his own ultimate doom, but be that as it may.) Somehow I just imagined him having a very personal connection with the Force, perhaps to the extent that he anthropomorphizes it a little. I think if you asked him, he'd tell you that that kind of thinking is a trick of the mind, a projection based on buried memories of early caretakers, but that wouldn't change the significance of it. Obi-Wan's got an internal "mom" he can turn to when things get ugly, while Anakin doesn't. If you wanted to, you could argue that such an internalization marks the boundary line between childhood and adulthood. It's also arguably what helps Obi-Wan get up and go back to work after Qui-Gon dies, while Anakin goes berzerk after Shmi's death and then hurries to the arms of a surrogate mother figure. I’m sure he is I really can’t wait to see this develop more. I just know you’re going to do a lovely job with it, and it’s driving me crazy with anticipation. Oh, Lord, I hope so. I mean do a good job . . . not drive you crazy. Are you saying Obi-Wan would be a grammar Nazi were he a JC poster? Ok, I’d have to agree I love the little touch of having Anakin communicate like a typical, rushed teenager on IM. Oh, he's a much better typist than that. ;) I was kind of thinking of the hacker culture in "The Matrix," where people who are used to communicating with machines don't much bother with conventions like capitalization and punctuation: wake up neo the Matrix has you “Where” … small typo that I know we’ve all done multiple times. Just thought I might note it for you. Gaaahhh!! Okay, I'll get to it. Thanks. Uhh . . . the spelling error in one of Anakin's messages is intentional, by the way. And stuff. I really like the way you’re slowly showing each of their conceptions of the other to be breaking down. One trick for making them curious about each other. ;) He definitely is someone who, in my opinion, gets the short end of the stick a lot of the time and has way too much expectation of his own and others on his shoulders. Yeah, I think he gets taken for granted a lot . . . not to mention harangued by a lot of armchair quarterbacks who are quite certain they would be better at being him than he is. ;) It’s nice to see someone who appreciates his gentle servant’s heart. What a wonderful way of putting it! ::takes notes, secretly planning to crib idea if not actual phrase:: ;) May I say that if I’m going to read mush, at least it’d better be good mush! I found this tender moment to be quite in character for both of them. Oh, good . . . I knew I was playing with fire there. It's always risky to push the envelope on an established character. (We know from the cut line in AOTC that Anakin's willing to say he loves Obi-Wan, and you can infer that Obi-Wan's been known to say it back, otherwise Anakin would have given up saying the "L" word after 10 years, but all Obi-Wan actually comes back with is, "Then why don't you listen?") He tries to convince himself that he only responds with “I love you” because there’s no time to give Anakin a lecture right now. Eh, I think he knows he loves Anakin, he jsut hates being forced to admit it. ;) It’s my opinion that this, more than the Code, is why he tries so hard to emphasise this need for distance to Anakin. We saw how much Qui-Gon’s death hurt Obi-Wan, and I don’t think he wants to have to risk going through that kind of thing again. You could very well be right . . . or it could be that he's spooked by the form Anakin's love takes. They've got a huge culture gap to deal with, and Anakin does have that egocentric-possessive thing going. I’m pretty sure Obi-Wan’s first few years at least after Episode III can be summed up with Simon and Garfunkle’s “I am a Rock”. Interesting . . . I sort of imagined an altered "Lord of the Flies" situation where he first tries to set up "civilization" in the wilderness, then goes bonkies for a bit because that goal isn't possible, and then slowly rebuilds his personality and spiritual life from the ground up . . . instead of, you know, pushing a boulder down onto a fat kid. Oh, had it? ;) I’m glad we agree on that. I think some writer’s are too quick to focus only on Obi-Wan’s missing Qui-Gon directly post-TPM and forget about what a brush with the Dark Side does to you. The cave. Remember your failure at the cave! Yeah, we have met the enemy and he is us. ;) Sometimes I think that what scares Obi-Wan most is his own feelings. He seems like an intense fellow, and that's not a valued personality trait in the Jedi Order. I can see wanting to emotionally shut down rather than risk a trip to the Dark Side. I don’t think I want to think about it, either It’s better for Obi-Wan not to, though, because right now there’s not really anything he can do about it. Yep--that's what he's going to try to do . . . with only indifferent success. So there’s a back-story even for Vengeance. I'm afraid I've always been queen of the back-stories . . . which is all fanfic is, really. At least Vengeance's back-story has a point which will be significant later. For years I've just included wads of gratuitous back-story here and there in my fics, just because I've felt like it. I'm trying not to do that anymore. Once again, thank all of you so much for your comments. The day had been getting a "thumbs down" rating for being "the day after I hit my head really hard," but now it gets a "thumbs up" for being "the day after I hit my head really hard and got terrific reader comments." -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 7/20/04 11:27am Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (70/?) 7/20
	**** He continued to brood as night fell and the strange, harsh calls of Angharad’s noctural birds began. At last, Matreya asked, "Master Jedi?" He turned at the sound of her voice. She walked out of the rock shelter and asked, "Do you think it would be safe to start a small fire? There's a pit inside, and some wood near the back wall. Most of it's rather damp and falling apart, but I think some of it will burn." He considered that. From a security standpoint a fire didn't seem a terrible risk. Perahta's scouts were unlikely to patrol so far from their base, and if there were a Sith stalking them, it would hardly need the glow of a fire to locate them. The strongest argument against building a fire he could think of was that burning wet wood in a cramped little enclosure would be more unpleasant than enduring the damp night chill, but which was actually worse would be a matter of personal preference. "If you'd like to, my lady, go ahead," he said. "Thank you, Master Jedi," she said, giving him a smile. "Gathering up kindling will give me something to do. It's very difficult to just sit in the dark and wait." He understood exactly what she meant. After a few moments of continuing to feel miserable and listening to her rustle and snap her way through the dark woods, he decided that he might as well gather up wood too. He didn't especially want a fire, but he didn't want her to injure herself in the dark. That, and he had absolutely nothing more constructive to do. "Be careful where you step, my lady," he cautioned her as he followed after her. "The ground is quite soft here. You don't want to turn an ankle." The darkness was fast becoming complete, and suddenly he realized she would be better off if he tossed her his power lamp. He supposed that one way to tell when you'd been spending too much time with the Chosen One was that you forgot that most people needed lights to get around at night. When he caught up with her, he found her pulling at a dead branch which was hanging down from a tree. She didn't seem to be having much luck in dislodging it, but at least she was looking in the right place. Any wood lying on the ground would be completely waterlogged from the recent rains. There were, however, easier ways to get a branch out of a tree. He pressed his small power lamp into her hand and then took her by the shoulders, wordlessly moving her aside. He reached for his saber, and with an almost-casual cut from the draw he knocked the stubborn branch to the ground, where it hit with a splintering noise. She just looked at the fallen wood for a moment, her hands folded around the power lamp. "I have to admit, that's more efficient," she said. **** End 70/? -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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sdhfs Registered: May '04	Date Posted: 7/20/04 2:16pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (70/?) 7/20
	great post nuff said -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/16229314/?30 Up is obidala at it's best love chooses you you don 't choose it. Death is but death why are you afraid of it ?
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DarthPenguin Registered: Mar '03	Date Posted: 7/21/04 5:02am Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (70/?) 7/20
	Anyone who wishes they had to spend a night in a cave with Obi-Wan, raise your hand! I finally remembered where I have heard the name "Angharad." That was the name of Maureen O'Hara's character in "How Green Was My Valley." Doing evil effectively is very tricky, but you have managed to create to truly sinister, nefarious character in Vengeance. (Your hints of his back-story are tantalizing). He is not just blood-thirsty and bad, he is intelligent and calculating, which makes him a very, very, very real threat. On the other hand, he may be feeling "flushed with power" now but he is also awash in arrogance--the same supreme over-confidence that brought his predecesor to an untimely demise. I think Wing-Boy is going to find himself biting off more than he can chew! "He supposed that one way to tell when you'd been spending too much time with the Chosen One was that you forgot that most people needed lights to get around at night." Nice to know no matter how rainy it has been, Obi-Wan's wit is perpetually dry.
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ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 7/21/04 1:28pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (71/?) 7/21
	sdhfs: Thank you! DarthPenguin wrote: Anyone who wishes they had to spend a night in a cave with Obi-Wan, raise your hand! ::Millions of women and just as many skrikes raise their hands . . . or . . . claws:: I finally remembered where I have heard the name "Angharad." That was the name of Maureen O'Hara's character in "How Green Was My Valley." No way! Serves me right for never seeing that movie. I picked "Angharad" because it was the weirdest, most alien-sounding name I could find . . . I was certain I'd never heard anything like it. Those wacky Welsh. Doing evil effectively is very tricky, but you have managed to create to truly sinister, nefarious character in Vengeance. (Your hints of his back-story are tantalizing). Thank you! I have to admit, I'm very surprised and pleased at how positive a reception he's had. Somewhere I have my original character sketch of him, which is dreadful. I was imagining him as a kind of sentient flying fox with attitude, but he looks like a guy who's annoyed about having rented a vampire costume that's 5 sizes too short. Sometimes, I wish I could draw better than I can . . . he may be feeling "flushed with power" now but he is also awash in arrogance--the same supreme over-confidence that brought his predecesor to an untimely demise. I think Wing-Boy is going to find himself biting off more than he can chew! Those Sith can't quite get over that overconfidence, thing, can they? Nice to know no matter how rainy it has been, Obi-Wan's wit is perpetually dry. What a fabulous way to put it. Obi-Wan himself would approve. **** Obi-Wan couldn't quite repress a smile at her abashed-sounding understatement. "I've certainly heard it called worse," he said. He picked up the branch and carried it toward their rock shelter, while she walked alongside and quite unnecessarily aimed the bluish glow of his power lamp at his feet. "I feel a bit useless," she admitted. "I've been no help to you whatsoever all day." "It's not your job to help me, my lady," he said, dropping the branch at the entrance to their shelter. Actually, he felt bad about being of little use to her. Not only had he failed to find her, he’d actually managed to get her into more danger as soon as she’d found him. At least when she was alone and lost in the woods she hadn’t had a deranged sniper after her. "Well, yes, but some of us do like to try," she said. She adjusted her skirts to keep them out of the mud as she crouched down by the branch, then began to snap off kindling-sized twigs. "I'm useless enough at home. I come out to places like this in an attempt to avoid that." "I'm sure you aren't useless at home," Obi-Wan told her. "Your husband is quite anxious to get you home safe." “Hmm,” she said, as if that was news to her. "Do you disagree?" he asked, a little surprised. Bela, Lord Bedegraine, hadn't seemed distraught during the holocomm conversation he’d had had with him, but Obi-Wan had chalked that up to an artistocrat's need to appear in control. He'd thought the man certainly seemed concerned. "Let's just say that Bela would consider it a shame if I didn't come home, but he would also feel that he'd saved himself a lot of trouble," she said. That sounded ominous, and Obi-Wan crouched down beside her, resting his wrists on his knees. "Are you safe at home, my lady?" he asked gently. He would have been surprised to hear that Lord Bedegraine mistreated his wife, but such things had been known to happen, even among the so-called "best" families. "Oh, yes," she said, with the first touch of bitterness he'd heard from her. "If apathy could kill someone, Bela would have murdered me long ago, but as it is I'm perfectly safe." Obi-Wan began to wonder whether she had deliberately chosen a dangerous volunteer mission in an attempt to make her husband remember he cared about her. "He seemed worried when I spoke to him," he said. Well, worried might have been an overstatement. Concerned, maybe. Perturbed. Almost apologetically, he added, "Some men aren't very good at showing their emotions." He was just as glad that Anakin wasn't there to shout out that he'd gotten that right. **** End 71/? -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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sdhfs Registered: May '04	Date Posted: 7/21/04 2:51pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (71/?) 7/21
	Well obi is now asking for it now isn't he something tells me they ain't going to be getting much sleep but that's just my sewer of a mind -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/16229314/?30 Up is obidala at it's best love chooses you you don 't choose it. Death is but death why are you afraid of it ?
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ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 7/22/04 12:29pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (72/?) 7/22
	LOL! Er, well . . . this is a PG story . . . **** Matreya gave him a smile that seemed to indicate that she appreciated what he was trying to do, but that he didn't have a clue of what he was talking about. This time it was she who spoke gently: "Master Jedi, on my world, a marriage is a business contract. It's negotiated by a couple's parents, officially with their children's best interests in mind. These would be monetary interests, mind you. When the couple is married, it's the husband's job to look after the wife and manage her affairs, and it's the wife's job to provide heirs to secure the future of his family." Her smile faded as she added, "I have failed to uphold my end of the contract." She returned her attention to the branch as she continued to snap twigs, her hair sliding forward to shield her face. "I don't think Bela hates me," she said. "I think he believes I might be crazy and worries that I'll embarrass him terribly one day, but he doesn't hate me. I'm not sure he feels any emotions about me at all . . . or nothing much more than a vague disappointment, anyway. I'm a bad investment, you see. If I were to disappear, life would get easier for him." Obi-Wan settled himself more comfortably against the rock wall of their shelter and asked, "Is that why you come out to places like this?" he asked. "To disappear?" "Oh, no," she said, and then suddenly the smile was back, almost mischievous this time. "Although you're not the first person who's asked. It's true that I'm happier away from home, but I might have gone anywhere. I could have spent all my time at court, or ruined my health in the sort of ladies’ ‘salons’ where everyone drinks sweet liqueurs until they roll under the table and someone has to summon the butler. My mother has spent the last thirty years refusing to stay more than six weeks in the same lodging, mostly because that's about how long it takes my father to catch up with her . . . needless to say, I'm an only child." Obi-Wan ran his hand over his beard in an attempt to conceal the beginnings of a smile at her description, for all that the situation wasn't funny. It just seemed best to leave his professional barriers in place as much as possible, if only because he was experiencing such inner turmoil himself, and he needed those clear-cut limits in order to stay collected. "I come out to places like this in order to be useful," Matreya said. "I was brought up to value being of use. On my wedding night, my mother-in-law told me that my place was to be 'a link in the chain,' and at the time I wasn't in the least offended." Obi-Wan couldn't help inwardly wincing at this most unromantic view of marriage. While romance was off-limits for him, he liked to believe it existed for some people. "Most of my people—-men as well as women--wouldn't have the first idea of what to do if someone told them they could live however they liked," Matreya continued. "A lot of them wouldn't even want that kind of freedom. We're trained to believe that service to family and tradition is honorable, that it gives one's life purpose. We admire the Jedi Knights for those reasons. Of course, we don't do anything as important as the Jedi Knights do, but perhaps you can understand some of the way we feel . . . or at least the way I feel," she added, turning back to the branch in her hands again. "Perhaps you can imagine what it would be like to grow up that way, only to discover that you were of no use to anyone at all." Obi-Wan recalled his own anxieties as an adolescent, when he’d feared he’d never manage to become a Jedi Knight. He’d had no idea what he’d do with himself if that happened . . . it wasn’t as if he’d had the training to do anything else. "It would be intolerable," he said. **** End 72/? -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 7/23/04 11:18am Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (73/?) 7/23
	"Well, it's intolerable to me, too," she said. "So far, my time here has been . . . horrible," she added, shaking her head, "but I'd rather be out here than sit at home and go mad. I mean . . . cuts heal and exhaustion goes away, doesn't it? But the pain of being utterly useless stays with you. It does something to you . . . to realize you could die tomorrow and people would barely notice. I know, because I lived that sort of life for the first three years after I was married." "I'm sorry, my lady," Obi-Wan said, and after a moment of hesitation rested his hand lightly on her arm. Anyone whose home life was so wretched that it made the wilds of Anagharad look preferable had his deepest sympathy. "It's all right, Master Jedi," she said, her smile returning, although it looked sad this time. "That's why I joined Freespace. It condemns childhood betrothals, among other things, and I rather enjoyed the fact that I had my family's blessing to work for the abolishment of my entire culture." "Did they know?" Obi-Wan couldn't help asking. "Well, they know that Freespace's charter says that it exists to 'uphold the right to self-determination for all beings,' but I don't know that they read the fine print," she said. "Few people do." "I did," Obi-Wan said. She glanced over at him and asked, “What did you think of it, Master Jedi?” Although Freespace and the Jedi Order worked for more or less the same goals, their feelings about one another weren’t unambivalent. "I agree with most of it--although I can't exactly complain about infant apprenticeship," Obi-Wan said. Freespace considered it a violation of a young child's rights to have its entire future determined for it before it was old enough to have a say, no matter whether that future involved marriage or a commitment to a religious order. "I was apprenticed at three, and have never regretted it." "You're fortunate," Matreya answered. "I was betrothed at three, and have regretted it intensely." He had to admit that three sounded a bit young to get engaged, but since he couldn't see a clear distinction between Matreya's circumstances and his own, he decided to drop the question entirely. "I was indeed fortunate," he said. "The Jedi have always been very good to me." "I'm glad," she said, with surprising sincerity. "I like to believe that the old ways still work for some people, although they haven't worked for me." He was intrigued by her words; most people either believed everyone should follow tradition or no one should. After all, if tradition became optional, it degenerated into anachronism. He set himself to helping her break the branch down into a pile of small sticks as he asked, "How do you mean? That you want to believe, that is." **** End 73/? -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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sdhfs Registered: May '04	Date Posted: 7/23/04 1:14pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (73/?) 7/23
	Nice one -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/16229314/?30 Up is obidala at it's best love chooses you you don 't choose it. Death is but death why are you afraid of it ?
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