Poof has a love-hate relationship with the Saga. On the one hand, it’s where he has his shinning moments as a Jedi Knight on the Jedi Council. On the other hand, he dies during the Saga era, and that wasn’t much fun at all.
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Author Topic: Spirit Warriors of Angharad *COMPLETE* Link to MS Word version available 8/4
ophelia 
Registered: Jun '02
24100_Obi-Wan
Date Posted: 5/23/04 11:05pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (14/?) 5/23
solojones wrote: I like how you portray Obi-Wan as thinking Anakin's fairly helpless without his guidance. It's not that Obi-Wan is intentionally being arrogant about it, I think it's just a good example of how he can be overprotective of Anakin.

Yep, he underestimates that boy. Then again, Anakin gives him plenty of reasons to treat him as just a big, goofy kid.

And of course he would think Anakin's causing trouble

Rightly, as it happens. Anakin would *hate* that. tongue

And in a great bit of irony, Anakin also thinks Obi-Wan is fairly helpless without him *sigh* these men

For a while I had this line from "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" as my sig quote: "When it comes to emotions, even great heroes can be idiots."

I would think something more along the lines of 'Noooooooo!' would be appropriate.

Maybe . . . but I hate it when Jedi shout "Nooooooooooo!!" I think they all look so dopey. tongue In my magical re-edit of the Star Wars saga, there would be less Jar-Jar, more warm-n-fuzzy angst, and less "Noooooooooooo!!"

Thank you for your comments by the way. grin I'm way too addicted to feedback for it to be healthy.



 

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ophelia 
Registered: Jun '02
24100_Obi-Wan
Date Posted: 5/24/04 8:55am Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (15/?) 5/24
For a moment, Obi-Wan thought his words were taking effect. Anakin seemed to hesitate, as if realizing how close to darkness he had come. Yet at the last moment, he thrust away acceptance of the Force’s inexorable will.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan could feel the thirst for violence gathering in his student like static in the air before a storm.

A moment later the Master Jedi was on his feet, disregarding the scouts as they looked up from the fiery slick where the swoop must've gone down. They moved to draw their hand blasters on him.

Before they could fire, Anakin's speeder shot through the cover of the trees and onto the river. He was half-standing on the accelerator pedals, holding his lit saber aloft in one hand. As the scouts quickly re-directed their blasters, a nearly-unaimed arc of laser fire caught one in the chest, blowing him and his craft into fiery oblivion.

Now Obi-Wan recognized the green triangle of energy that hovered at the front of Anakin's speeder--it was the emissions scanner he’d cobbled together out of stardrive diagnostic units. Somehow he'd wired that onto a blast rifle and attached them both to the handlebars of his Landcat.

It dawned on Obi-Wan that Anakin had created the junk-and-utility-wire equivalent of a low-altitude gunship. If you didn't mind the fact that he needed both hands for his weapons and had to steer with his knee, the setup was impressive—-right down to the remote astromech navigational support. It was also a near-suicidal trade of safety in return for power.

Obi-Wan's reaction was perhaps not the greatest moment of his teaching career. "Are you out of your mind?!"

Anakin skirted the speeder's explosion with lethal neatness and then pulled around, clearly intending to dispatch the remaining scout. Whatever the man saw on Anakin's face must have dispelled any bravado he had left; he hunkered down over his handlebars and threw everything his speeder had into a rush for the cover of the riverbank.

Anakin set a parallel course, leaving just enough lateral distance between himself and his quarry that he could easily shift forward or back to intercept any attempted break for the trees. It was a disturbingly canny move for a boy of sixteen.

"Turn back!" Obi-Wan shouted. "He's fleeing you. It's over!" He had little doubt his student heard him--his voice was pitched to carry across a battlefield. Yet Anakin did not respond.

He tried contacting Anakin through the Force: //Padawan, this is darkness. He's offering no resistance to you. You cannot justify attack.// Once again there was no reply.

It was now Obi-Wan’s turn to begin grappling with true fear. This exact situation was part of an infamous test used in the training program young Knights were supposed to attend before they took students of their own. The lesson involved maintaining correct priorities, in particular placing truth and justice before any personal bond. Each student had to describe what he or she would do if a Padawan fell into darkness and needlessly threatened a life. Obi-Wan's classmates had all calmly stated that if the Padawan could not be turned from his destructive course, he would have to be destroyed. An aggressor was an aggressor, after all, and no one was above the Order's law. Of course, they had all been talking about theoretical Padawans--none of them actually had one. Obi-Wan was the only one with a real child to look after, and he'd argued at some length about the blithe legalism of the "correct" answer. He'd gotten a poor report in that class.

Yet here he was, living out the same dreaded scenario. He knew the Jedi Order to be the essence of wisdom and compassion. Could its rule possibly demand that he destroy his own student? The blast rifle hanging across his back felt as burdensome as a millstone. He tried calling his student once more: "Anakin!" He could hear the desperation in his voice as the name echoed in the valley.

He got no noticeable response even through the Force--Anakin seemed to be entirely bent on his self-appointed mission. //Force, help him.//

Numbly, Obi-Wan slid the rifle off his shoulder. Somehow, he had the dim feeling that this could not be real, and yet it was. This was not an exercise or a theoretical scenario. If he pulled that trigger, his student and friend would truly die.

//I can't do this.//

Sometimes the Force could be a very stern Master. A phrase of Qui-Gon's came to mind: //I don't require your agreement, Obi-Wan. Only your obedience.// With a feeling of soul-deep sickness, he shouldered the rifle. Maybe a warning shot would be enough. He placed his finger on the trigger and sighted a spot a couple of meters above Anakin's head. Anakin was still speeding along the riverbank, apparently intent on preventing the scout's retreat to safety. A final request to be released from this duty--whether directed at the Force or at Anakin he wasn't sure--met with no noticeable response.

Resigned, Obi-Wan fired.

****
End 15/?

 

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DarthPenguin 
Registered: Mar '03
6198_Jawa
Date Posted: 5/24/04 9:24am Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (14/?) 5/24
The first time around I thought this fic was splendid. I still do.

 
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ophelia 
Registered: Jun '02
24100_Obi-Wan
Date Posted: 5/24/04 11:02am Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (14/?) 5/24 - Date Edited: 5/24/04 2:48pm (1 edits total) Edited By: ophelia
I wondered if anyone would remember this from the first time I posted it . . . I hope it doesn't bug you that these early sections are very similar to what I had last time. (Except for the fact that I cut out a couple of pages of political background on the Coridani Mineral Company, because I suddenly realized that NOBODY CARES.) I'm also trying to do a lot more showing rather than telling about Obi-Wan and Anakin's relationship.

The fanfic novel I wrote before this one was in the X-Files universe, where it's perfectly in-character for people to sit around moping and over-analyzing their relationships to one another. However, it really didn't work here, and I cut it. The Star Wars universe is not a moody, reflective kind of place. Things explode, and then you move on.

You'll start to see more significant changes in the end of chapter four and in chapter five, which is where I couldn't get Obi-Wan and Anakin's relationship to work right before. I needed them to kind of patch things up and move on (so more things could explode), but they wouldn't do it. (Stupid Jedi.) I ended up really muting down Obi-Wan's reactions--he comes across a bit more like Alec Guinness' Obi-Wan than Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan in AOTC, but what can I say. It's what the story needed.

 

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ophelia 
Registered: Jun '02
24100_Obi-Wan
Date Posted: 5/25/04 7:58am Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (16/?) 5/25 - Date Edited: 5/25/04 7:59am (2 edits total) Edited By: ophelia
****
The scout glanced backward in a moment of apparent panic, probably assuming the shot was aimed at him. Obi-Wan sensed that Anakin knew what had really happened, although he still did not turn around. The boy not seem to be tracking; he was in a mental place where action was everything and consequences had no meaning. That, in itself, was one definition of darkness.

Obi-Wan was rapidly running out of nonlethal solutions to this problem. Perhaps it was time to accept what appeared to be his and Anakin's terrible destiny.

Fighting desperation, he began to recite an ancient passage that generations of Jedi had turned to in times of great suffering: //Force of the Universe, grant me strength. Living Force of all Beings, give me peace in my hour of need . . .// He knew that if it were the Force's will, he would work up the resolve to pull the trigger again, and this time he would not miss.

"Padawan," he said softly, "please do not make me do this."

Perhaps it was in reaction to the anguish of the man he was "rescuing," and perhaps it was for his own reasons, but at last some of the furious haze began to lift from Anakin's spirit. His single-minded rage faded slowly, giving way to an unusual quiet. Obi-Wan's own breath had fallen into near stillness as he began to hope that his student had pulled himself back from the brink of destruction.

Anakin's speeder did seem to be slowing. The scout was a small figure far down the river by this point, but Obi-Wan thought the man glanced behind him a few times, as if unable to believe his luck at his pursuer's change of heart. Taking full advantage of his reprieve, the scout tore off into the cover of the trees at top speed. Anakin did not follow.

Obi-Wan picked up a sense of disorientation from his young friend, as if Anakin were truly unsure of how he’d gotten from the purity of his intentions to the darkness of what he had done. This questioning was followed by the thin edge of pain. Obi-Wan allowed himself to breathe again as Anakin slowed his speeder and turned it around.

His muscles ached as if he'd been sighting with the rifle for hours instead of mere seconds. He set the weapon butt-down on the rock and wrapped his hands around the barrel, leaning upon it as if it were a staff. For a few moments he struggled with his emotions, bowing his head down next to the steel cylinder.

A chill wind blew down from the heights, and he remembered he was very cold. He sat down on the rock and placed the rifle beside him, then wrapped his arms around his knees. To his chagrin, he could feel he was shaking. No, he amended, he was *shivering* from his fall into the river. //Jedi do not shake. If we were allowed to shake, someone would have written a fifteen-point Code of Conduct about it and forced us to memorize it.//

As he waited in the growing darkness for Anakin's arrival, he closed his eyes and turned to the Force in order to calm his troubled spirit. This time, the calm was slow in coming. Obi-Wan would always be a Jedi first and foremost, but in his heart he was also a father, and that day he had almost lost his only child, body and soul.

He finally looked up as the sound of Anakin’s speeder drew near, and it occurred to him, for the first time in days, that Angharad was beautiful. Evening had begun to fall and the forested slopes were in smoke-colored shadow. High above them, the snow cap on Mount Mahavashti was bright with the orange light of sunset, as if the tip of the mountain had been gilded with fire.

Anakin guided his speeder up next to the rock and shut down his engines, leaving the river valley suddenly quiet.

“Hello, Ani,” Obi-Wan said.

Anakin remained motionless, looking down at the Landcat's handlebars. The silvery sound of the nighttime water insects filled the air like an invisible gauze. "I was going to kill him, Master," Anakin said softly.

Obi-Wan nodded. "I know."

“I’m sorry.” The words came out as a whisper. Anakin’s eyes looked wide and haunted in the green glow of his sensor beams, as if he’d peered into another world and seen something he desperately wished he could forget. "When I started out . . . I thought I was helping.”

Obi-Wan shifted on the rock, wrapping his sodden mantle more closely around him for warmth. “And now?”

“It was wrong,” Anakin said. “What I did went against everything you ever taught me. It’s just that it didn’t seem wrong until . . .” A shiver of something like grief went through him, and he fell silent. Obi-Wan could tell he was remembering the searing sense of betrayal he’d felt when he’d realized his beloved Master was about to open fire on him.

Obi-Wan wished there had been another way—-any other way—-to rescue Anakin from himself. “We’ve all done things that we regret,” he said.

“I couldn’t just let you die,” Anakin said.

There was a time when Obi-Wan would have taken up the question as a doctrinal issue, believing he could reason Anakin out of his spiritual troubles. However, experience had taught him the limited value of words. He stood up stiffly and moved to the edge of the rock, holding out his hand. "Anakin," he said quietly. At first the boy ignored him, apparently too immersed in hurt and self-reproach to seek comfort.

"Padawan." Use of that title carried the weight of authority, and this time Anakin turned and looked at him.

“Maybe Master Yoda was right. Maybe I was too old,” Anakin said. Tears had welled up in his eyes, and he wiped them away angrily. He hated himself when he cried. “Because I don’t get it. I don’t get how running away while you get killed is going to make me a better Jedi.”

“You don’t know what would have happened if you’d done as I asked,” Obi-Wan said. “You were afraid, that’s all.” There was as much kindness as reproach in his voice when he added, “I don’t need to tell you where fear leads.”

Anakin’s whispered response might have been, “Yes, Master.”

"It wasn’t a disaster," Obi-Wan said. “You can still bring good out of this experience if you learn from it.”

Anakin nodded. At first Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if he was listening, but then Anakin swallowed hard and said, “I want to learn, Master.” He did indeed sound ready to learn. In fact, he sounded nearly heartbroken. “Qui-Gon would be so ashamed of me.”

Anakin needed a lesson, but the last thing Obi-Wan wanted was to see his young friend’s quirky inner light go out. "No,” he said, “there’s no shame in being wiser now than you were a few minutes ago. Besides, it was brave of you to turn around."

Anakin turned and looked at his outstretched hand, then up at his eyes. "I haven't given up on you yet," Obi-wan assured him. Anakin seemed to hesitate, and then finally accepted his hand. Obi-Wan steadied him as he moved from the speeder to the rock.

"Please don't ever give up on me, Master," Anakin said. Obi-Wan pulled him into an embrace, which Anakin returned with the strength of a drowning man.

“It’s all right,” Obi-Wan told him softly. For a while, as the nighttime creatures began to call, Obi-Wan stroked Anakin’s hair and let him cry.

****
End 16/?

 

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diamond_pony2002 
Registered: Nov '02
24060_Padme and Anakin
Date Posted: 5/25/04 5:28pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (15/?) 5/25
SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!

 

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DarthPenguin 
Registered: Mar '03
6198_Jawa
Date Posted: 5/26/04 5:57am Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (15/?) 5/25
Love the way you combine humor and drama in the story. Obi-Wan goes from making a sardonic remark about the Jedi Code to feeling the anguish of a "father" facing the loss of his "son."

You have crafted a wonderful, deep relationship between master and apprentice.

I also enjoy all the detail you put into your stoty. The narrative is filled with little gems, such as Obi-Wan reflecting upon the poor grade he received in class.

Keep up the great work!!

 
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solojones 
Registered: Sep '00
24089_Obi-Wans
Date Posted: 5/26/04 6:02am Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (15/?) 5/25
Ahh, no, ahhh, stop updating so fast tongue

Ok,ok, you can keep updating fast. But it's finals week so forgive me if I lag behind a bit in reading. As I didn't read this the first time it was posted, I'm itching to see where it goes.

-sj loves kevin spacey

 

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ophelia 
Registered: Jun '02
24100_Obi-Wan
Date Posted: 5/26/04 6:17pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (15/?) 5/25
Stop updating so fast?! Last time I was posting about 10 pages every 2 weeks, and that was too slow. Now I'm posting about a page every day, and that's too fast. I can't make the public happy! cry

Seriously though, you didn't miss that much last time. It went along a lot like this until chapter 5, when it ran straight into a brick wall because I couldn't get my leading Jedi to behave. That--and I developed an actual life for a while. (Thank goodness *that's* over with!)

. . . and as always, thank you all for your comments. Feedback makes me do a happy dance inside. happy

****

****

Anakin sat on the floor of the Oyas' barn loft, staring down at the blue-white glow of a power lamp. R2 kept a silent sympathy vigil by his side. The two of them were alone for the moment, since Obi-Wan was in a meeting with most of the village adults, discussing, among other things, whether the Jedi would be asked to leave Nidawi. Apparently it was one thing to show up out of nowhere and offer unpopular advice, but it was quite another to show up out of nowhere, offer unpopular advice, and then set parts of the local holy mountain on fire. Anakin sighed and scrubbed at his still-sore eyes with his thumb and forefinger. He ached with regret for what he had done. In his rashness, he had let down his Master, violated the Jedi Code, and offended the villagers who had taken him in. Worse, he had driven Obi-Wan into making a choice between his vows as a Jedi and his loyalty to Anakin--and Anakin had not been his first choice. The young apprentice was still struggling to come to terms with that fact. The implications hurt. Anakin loved Obi-Wan. He trusted him. How could the man he looked on as a father have threatened to kill him?

Anakin rested his elbows on his knees and answered his own question. //You can't expect him to betray everything he believes in just because you were acting like an idiot. He loves you about as much as a Jedi's allowed to love anyone. Don't ask for more than that.//

Yet part of him rebelled at the thought: //As much as a Jedi's allowed to love anyone.// Anakin had never been comfortable with the Jedi Order's restrictions on emotion or its insistence that duty always come before love.

As a very new Padawan, he had railed at Obi-Wan's suggestion that he stop pining for his mother, even as he watched Obi-Wan choke back his own grief for Qui-Gon Jinn. Anakin had thought it was stupid that a Jedi was supposed to value ideals more than people. Furthermore, he suspected that Qui-Gon would have agreed with him. Not that you could say something like that to Obi-Wan. Not ever.

Anakin shut his eyes against the power lamp's incandescent glare and tried to curb his straying thoughts. He was supposed to be meditating, not moping. When his Master returned, he would expect him to have developed insight into why he’d lost control, and to have come up with a plan about how to avoid making such mistakes in the future.

It was a drill he was regrettably familiar with. Not being much one for insight or planning, he usually just recited a list of his failings and suggested a barely-tolerable consequence he thought his Master might find acceptable. He knew Obi-Wan wanted more than that from him now that Anakin was close to manhood, but profound insights into his own behavior continued to elude him. It just seemed that sometimes he set out to do one thing, then got carried away by the passions of the moment and ended up doing something else. So much for mining the depths of his soul.

He glanced up at R2 and asked, "How much you want to bet I end up being a LOSer until we get back to Coruscant?"

R2 conceded that the probability rate was one a gambler would look upon with considerable favor.

The "LOS" stood for "line of sight," which was where very inexperienced or difficult students were expected to stay. Very young Padawans, as Anakin had once been, were more or less permanent LOSers. Older ones could be returned to the status of unreliable beginners at their Masters' discretion. In general, “LOSer” was a nasty name used for making fun of someone, and sensible Padawans carefully edited it out of their vocabularies when their Masters were around.

Anakin suspected that he was going to end up as the most pitiable kind of LOSer, one forbidden to get farther than arm's-length from his Master. This was a condition generally referred to as being stuck at smacking distance. It didn't matter that Jedi Masters were not actually supposed to strike their students. An apprentice within arm's reach of his teacher was in the elder Jedi's psychic space, where no transgression was likely to go unnoticed. The Master Jedi could provide the verbal or mental equivalent of a rap on the knuckles whenever he saw fit. The only positive part of this situation was that Obi-Wan made an extra effort to be calm and patient when Anakin was glued to his side. The point of being a LOSer, other than to make it clear that you'd acted like a complete and utter moron, was to keep you close enough to your Master that you could carefully observe and imitate him. Whatever he was doing was presumed to be the exact opposite of the dumb thing you'd just done. In an ideal world, a Master never set so perfect an example as when his student had lost the freedom to leave his company. Then again, in an ideal world, Padawans would never have to be stuck at smacking distance at all.

The cool night had grown clammy, and Anakin drew his mantle a little closer around himself. He felt a stab of guilt over the fact that Obi-Wan had to go without his. Obi-Wan's river-soaked clothes were slung over loft beams, alongside the clothing Anakin had muddied earlier in the day. Jedi generally brought at least one extra set of clothing on campaign, but outer garments were too bulky for it to be practical to bring more than one. If you got your mantle wet, you just had to wait for it to dry--something that might never happen on a night as damp as this.

"I feel like a complete sleemo," Anakin said.

In a reassuring whistle, R2 told him he was not a complete sleemo. Apparently, his being a partial sleemo was an option open for consideration.

He'd never been very good at letting go of emotions. In fact, he was inclined to avoid trying, since his spectacular failure in this regard usually made him feel worse. Still, he felt obligated to make an attempt.

The last part of the particular meditation he was supposed to be doing involved releasing his sadness and self-blame to the Force. In theory, a feeling of profound healing and peace would wash over him. He closed his eyes and turned his hands palm upward in a gesture of openness. After letting his thoughts fall quiet, he visualized lowering the psychic barriers around his spirit. He invited the Force's light into the innermost part of his being: //Force of the Universe, heal my brokenness and wash the darkness from my heart.// He'd heard other Jedi describe how this was supposed to feel. Replacing the darkness of shame and sorrow with healing light was said to be as great a relief as laying down a heavy burden or reconciling with a friend. Obi-Wan had likened it to the moment a healer pressed his thumb against just the right pressure point, causing the pain of some injury to drain away.

Instead, Anakin felt a dull anxiety begin to build. He could sense a kind of cool light all around him, but it would not illuminate his inside, no matter how he entreated it. An image came to his mind unbidden: chains, thick links of black metal wound around and around a long column just in front of his spine. The links slithered around their unseen central post like something alive. The slipping, clinking sound of their movement was almost like words: //Slave. Stupid slave who thinks he can become a Knight.//

He had seen this image before, and it always filled him with a sense of dread. He focused his attention on willing the chains away, as Obi-Wan had told him to do. //They're not real. They're just a picture you have in your head.// Yet they felt real--cold and life-draining.

Battling the urge to end his meditation then and there, he gathered all the spiritual power he could muster and fought to open up his spirit to the light. Its glow remained as distant as ever--in fact, the harder he struggled, the more the light seemed to retreat. The chain's imagined weight began to grow more oppressive, and its voice grew louder and more distinct: the croaking voice of a contemptuous old man:

//Slave.//

****
End 17/?

 

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solojones 
Registered: Sep '00
24089_Obi-Wans
Date Posted: 5/27/04 4:07pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (16/?) 5/26
Oooh, fine I suppose I can allow you to keep updating so frequently. But only on the condition that you keep this one of the very, very best fanfics I've ever read. Deal?

. . . and as always, thank you all for your comments. Feedback makes me do a happy dance inside.

Certainly. I know exactly what you mean, so I always strive to go beyond just a 'good job' in hopes that it will be a little more fulfilling to the authors, who work so hard happy


Obi-Wan's reaction was perhaps not the greatest moment of his teaching career. "Are you out of your mind?!"

Not the greatest moment, but at his wit's end like this, rather Obi-Wan-esque wink

Obi-Wan was the only one with a real child to look after, and he'd argued at some length about the blithe legalism of the "correct" answer. He'd gotten a poor report in that class.

As someone else mentioned, I adore your knack for mixing humour with the serious. It's especially fun to do with someone like Obi-Wan who's so sardonic, eh? wink But I like that he was able to make the distinction between theory and practice of the Code. I think that's something he's going to be confronted with much more down the line.

The whole thing with Obi-Wan actually considering shooting Anakin was shocking and heart breaking, because I understood why he felt he might have to. Thank goodness a warning shot ended up being enough, but I have a feeling that the sting of just the action being taken will be something there between the two of them for a while.

//Jedi do not shake. If we were allowed to shake, someone would have written a fifteen-point Code of Conduct about it and forced us to memorize it.//

laugh No kidding. Once again, brilliant wry wit that made me snicker in my characteristically evil way wink

"No,” he said, “there’s no shame in being wiser now than you were a few minutes ago.

Ah, such a wise little morcel. I'm glad you portrayed Obi-Wan as having the sense to know when not to lecture. He does tend to do that a lot, and I can't say I really blame him, because I know I do too tongue But I could picture Alec saying this, which is a very good sign for something seeming very 'teacher' Obi-Wan happy

"Please don't ever give up on me, Master," Anakin said. Obi-Wan pulled him into an embrace, which Anakin returned with the strength of a drowning man.

Not only did I love your description there, likening it to a drowning, but it was such a great image. You're doing a wonderful job of creating this father/son relationship but still in the awkwardness of the Jedi context. It's also some interesting foreshadowing, reminding me that if Anakin thinks in the future that Obi-Wan has given up on him, that would be devestating.


Apparently it was one thing to show up out of nowhere and offer unpopular advice, but it was quite another to show up out of nowhere, offer unpopular advice, and then set parts of the local holy mountain on fire.

laugh again! Ah, yes, ophelia, you're here all week, right? wink

As a very new Padawan, he had railed at Obi-Wan's suggestion that he stop pining for his mother, even as he watched Obi-Wan choke back his own grief for Qui-Gon Jinn. Anakin had thought it was stupid that a Jedi was supposed to value ideals more than people. Furthermore, he suspected that Qui-Gon would have agreed with him. Not that you could say something like that to Obi-Wan. Not ever.

This was such a powerful and telling bit. It is sad that Anakin can't express his thoughts, because I just happen to think he's got some valid points. Even with as close as he is to Obi-Wan, there are things he knows he cannot say to him...

The whole thing with LOSers, I thought, was brilliant. Where do you come up with these things? That sort of punishment seems like a very Jedi thing to do, and terming it as such seems like a very teenagery thing to do as well. It's a rather unfortunate way to treat the padawans, I think, though in some cases it might be warranted. But because they are around other Jedi all the time, I would think it would embarass the padawans more than help them. Embarassing someone into compliance is not a good thing sad

In a reassuring whistle, R2 told him he was not a complete sleemo. Apparently, his being a partial sleemo was an option open for consideration.

laugh

Ok, that's it. You've made me actually chuckle three times in the last three chapters. I should have known that any story you wrote would have had really witty moments. What, with all your hillarious commentary on the theorizing of what those kicks to the head did to Obi-Wan's brain.... wink


Finally, the way you've worked the darkness slipping into Anakin's mind came to a great culmination at the end of the last bit. His inability to free himself of his anger, and subsequently only coming up with more anger, was very telling of his damaged psyche. I especially loved your portrayal of the horrible image of being a slave running through his head, and feeling like the chains were real. That was really chilling.


Now I've gone and babbled on endlessly, but I couldn't help it. I just have to rave about this story because it's so amazingly good!


Amazing.

 

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ophelia 
Registered: Jun '02
24100_Obi-Wan
Date Posted: 5/27/04 5:28pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (16/?) 5/26
Gahhh!! Fine, if you're going to be AmazingB, then I'm going to be GriffZ!

Insert sardonic comment here, plain sardonic comment here, sardonic comment here, plain sardonic comment here, loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong absence











plain sardonic comment here.

There.

I always strive to go beyond just a 'good job' in hopes that it will be a little more fulfilling to the authors, who work so hard

Yay!! I appreciate it, too . . . in-depth feedback makes every day like Christmas . . . only without the long lines at the checkout counter. happy

The whole thing with Obi-Wan actually considering shooting Anakin was shocking and heart breaking, because I understood why he felt he might have to.

That wasn't in my original plan for the story, although it was in the version I posted in 2002. These guys just get volitile around each other if I don't manage them carefully. Maybe that's why there's so little warm-n-fuzzy Obi/Ani fic.

I have a feeling that the sting of just the action being taken will be something there between the two of them for a while.

I'd expect niether of them to ever quite get over it . . . it kind of points out the fundamental place where their values differ. Obi-Wan puts duty and ideals first, Anakin puts people first. I'm not sure either approach is actually wrong--it just makes for people who strike sparks off each other. (Literally in Ep III!) grin

Ah, such a wise little morcel. I'm glad you portrayed Obi-Wan as having the sense to know when not to lecture. He does tend to do that a lot, and I can't say I really blame him, because I know I do too But I could picture Alec saying this, which is a very good sign for something seeming very 'teacher' Obi-Wan

Yeah . . . I really had to skip AOTC and go straight to ANH for a lot of Obi-Wan's character to keep things civil with Anakin. Funny how some characters just won't behave.

It's also some interesting foreshadowing, reminding me that if Anakin thinks in the future that Obi-Wan has given up on him, that would be devestating.

As it happens, Ani's right too . . . he pulls it out of the fire at the end. wink (See, Obi-Wan?! I told you!!)

It is sad that Anakin can't express his thoughts, because I just happen to think he's got some valid points.

Yeah . . . I'm not quite sure where GL is going with the "Jedi can't love" theme, but I'm trying to present the situation as if both Obi-Wan and Anakin are right, but in different ways.

The whole thing with LOSers, I thought, was brilliant. Where do you come up with these things?

Well . . . I'm in training to be a special ed tacher who works with emotionally disturbed kids, and one RL way to deal with the most troubled child in the room is to keep him literally stuck by your side at all times. I've never done it, being a mere padawan myself, but I'm told it's very helpful for kids with certain kinds of problems.

It's a rather unfortunate way to treat the padawans, I think, though in some cases it might be warranted. But because they are around other Jedi all the time, I would think it would embarass the padawans more than help them. Embarassing someone into compliance is not a good thing

Yeah . . . but I had a hard time figuring out exactly what Obi-Wan would *do* with Anakin. A lecture seems insufficient for almost blowing up someone who was running away, but the kid doesn't have a GameBoy to take away, he doesn't have a room to be sent to, he's a bit big to spank, and Obi-Wan can't afford to ground him even if he had somewhere to ground him *to.* Anakin's a working kid, and Obi-Wan needs his help. This is probably why the Jedi insist that kids come to them as babies . . . so all the discipline issues get sorted out before they go gallavanting across the galaxy as Padawans. Or something like that.

What, with all your hillarious commentary on the theorizing of what those kicks to the head did to Obi-Wan's brain....

Ah, yes. I forgot to mention that Obi-Wan also has dain bramage. That makes things more difficult. wink

I especially loved your portrayal of the horrible image of being a slave running through his head, and feeling like the chains were real. That was really chilling.

Poor kid . . . he has issues. He spends the rest of the story redeeming himself--just not in quite the way that Obi-Wan might have had in mind. wink

Amazing.

plain

(Sorry . . . sorry, I just had to do that . . . tongue And thank you once again for your comments.) happy

 

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ophelia 
Registered: Jun '02
24100_Obi-Wan
Date Posted: 5/27/04 5:34pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (17/?) 5/27
Incidentally, this story is tagged, so you don't have to read my attempts to impersonate GriffZ and stuff. Unless of course you'd rather.

****

A shiver ran through him as he opened his eyes. He felt disoriented, as if he'd awakened from a nightmare. Gradually, the quiet nighttime noises of the farmyard began to reassert themselves in his mind, and his heart stopped its hammering. His hands ached; he realized that he had unconsciously balled them into fists. He opened them and shook them out.

R2's servos whirred as he turned his domed head at the movement. His questioning whistle carried a note of concern.

"It's nothing," Anakin said. His muscles still stiff with tension, he stood up and walked to the second story barn door that led out onto the lift. His boot soles sounded loud on the rough planks of the floor.

Hoel Oya was a metalsmith as well as a small-scale sherqa farmer, and the barn door was framed by the lift's elaborate counterweight system. The heavy door itself swung open almost soundlessly at Anakin's light touch. A single light burned in the low, stone farmhouse a few dozen meters away, and all seemed peaceful in the farmyard.

With a gesture, Anakin shut off the power lamp, hoping to find solace in the cool darkness of the night. He tried to empty his mind of any thoughts at all--simply to be. Disregarding the sick feeling in his heart, he told himself that he was at one with the universe; that he was at peace.

Bluish moonlight picked out the wires of the skrike pen and softly illuminated the packed earth between the house and its outbuildings. Now and again, one of the skrikes would produce its signature, harsh call, and its fellows would join in. Skrikes were egg-laying reptiloid beasts with a hearty and disgusting appetite for farmyard vermin. Over the last several days, they'd developed an unaccountable attachment to both the Jedi, especially Obi-Wan, much to his dismay.

Anakin cast his senses beyond the Oyas' property, seeking his Master's presence in the village meeting lodge. The gathering there was still going on, and Anakin picked up crosscurrents of powerful emotion: anger; sorrow; the thirst for justice; anxiety; despair. Obi-Wan's presence was like a calm island in the middle of the whirlwind, although Anakin sensed his profound fatigue. It seemed best not to contact him at the moment. Obi-Wan had already had enough drama from Anakin for one day. He slowly drew back without disturbing his Master.

As he did so, he became aware of other presences on the path leading up to the farmhouse. Some were familiar; he recognized Mayléa and Uyek, Hoel Oya's two youngest children. Before long, young voices were audible. R2 trundled up to Anakin's side and peered out into the farmyard with him.

Small figures, some carrying cylinder-shaped oil lamps, walked or ran into the space between the house and the barn. The two Oya kids and an older girl detached themselves from the group and walked up to the barn. Mayléa's lantern threw as much shadow as light, but after a moment Anakin recognized her companion as Itai Wikvaya, a village girl about his own age.

Anakin didn't quite know what to make of Itai. He knew her father was buried in the Grove of Martyrs, and that she wore peeled white cava sticks braided into her hair in his memory. Cava sticks were part of the mountain people's battle dress, meant to evoke the bones of the honored dead. According to local belief, fighters carried the spirits of their ancestors into battle with them, and drew strength from their otherworldly power. Not that Itai was a fighter. She was just a village kid, and Anakin was not entirely clear on why she had to go around with spooky fake bones plaited into her hair all the time.

The sherqas started bawling, thinking they were going to be fed, the moment the Oya children entered the barn. Anakin and Obi-Wan had taken over that job for the duration of their stay, not that they'd gotten around to it yet that night. Just another thing to feel guilty about.

Mayléa tried hushing them in the Anghara mountain dialect, but the animals kept up their noise as the three young people climbed the ladder to the loft. Uyek and Itai came up first, and then Mayléa followed with the lantern. All at once, the darkened loft was filled with a soft amber glow much more inviting than the power lamp's bluish glare.

"What are you doing sitting up here in the dark?" Itai asked. She was a pretty girl, with the dusky skin and thick dark hair common among the Anghara. Both she and her companions wore the layered tunics and loose, wraparound garments typical of settlers in harsh climates everywhere. Much of their clothing would have looked at home on the streets of Mos Espa.

However, nearly a century of Coridani presence had brought echoes of the Core Worlds to Nidawi. Itai's inner tunic looked to be knockoff spidersilk, a cheap synthetic currently much favored by women who walked the night on the lower levels of Coruscant. Its texture and purple floral pattern contrasted sharply with the earth-colored homespun of her outer garments. She wore a shock-me-pink slickplast bracelet among a number of ratty, woven-thread wrist bands, too. The bracelet was young-kid finery, something no sixteen-year-old from the Core Worlds would be caught dead wearing, except maybe as a joke. It was weirdly disconcerting next to the whitened sticks that she'd braided into her hair in long rows.

Anakin folded his arms in a gesture that was meant to convey calm authority. "I'm meditating," he said. "What are you doing up here?"

****
End part 18/?

 

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diamond_pony2002 
Registered: Nov '02
24060_Padme and Anakin
Date Posted: 5/27/04 6:40pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (17/?) 5/27
The first time I read this story was at a different site and I was so mad because it wasn't finished! But now I'm really happy because I can read it here!

 

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ophelia 
Registered: Jun '02
24100_Obi-Wan
Date Posted: 5/28/04 4:42pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (18/?) 5/28
Okay, since solojones is herelf again now, I guess I can go back to being me.

plain

::In backround:: Knights-who-so-recently-said- plain : "Sh!"

****

If Itai or the Oya kids were impressed, they gave no sign. "We have some questions we want answered," said Itai. She was looking at him as a picnicker might look at a bug that seemed inclined to crawl into the butter.

Somehow it was easier to behave in a Jedilike way in the face of hostility from without than when confronting turmoil from within. Anakin allowed her anger and suspicion to wash over him as he replied, "I'll be happy to answer them if I can."

"Why does your Master want us to leave our village?" Itai asked.

Well, that was an easy one. "He doesn't want you to die," Anakin said.

"He's an offworlder," Itai said, as if "offworlder" were a dirty word. "Why should he care what happens to us?"

The intensity of her anger took him aback. Anakin scanned the feelings of the Oya children and the young people collected outside, to see if Itai's emotions were common. Most of the children did not seem hostile, but he picked up a great deal of fear and confusion from them. He could sympathize; adults didn't like to tell kids the really important things, as if keeping them in the dark could protect them.

"We're Jedi Knights," he said quietly. "We have a duty to defend all life."

"I heard that you had a duty to defend the *Republic,"* Itai shot back. "How do we know the Coridani didn't send you? Maybe you're here to frighten us off the mountainside with your scary stories, so they can take our land without a fight."

It had never occurred to Anakin that his and Obi-Wan's actions could be interpreted that way. "We would never do something like that," he said. "If you knew the Jedi--"

"Well, we don't know the Jedi," Itai said. "Why should we? You serve your government, not us. From where I'm standing, the Jedi look a lot like the Coridani Mineral Company--just another group trying to extend the Republic's control." She planted her hands on her hips, and Anakin suspected she looked a lot more formidable than he did. He wondered how many adults held the same opinions she did.

"I don't have any way to prove my intentions to you," he said. "All I can say is that if your village really wants us to leave, we will." He cast a rueful glance in the direction of the village center and added, "Actually, it's looking as if your parents might--"

"What did you *do?*" Mayléa blurted out suddenly. He'd been picking up curiosity from her since she'd climbed up into the loft. Apparently, it was pretty obvious that he'd been sent back to the barn in disgrace, and that the village meeting had something to do with his actions in the Pass.

Anakin's first, embarrassed inclination was to tell her it was none of her business. She was just a kid after all, not much more than 10 or 11. He didn't answer to her.

Yet in a way, he did. He had been under his Master's orders to help defend Mayléa's village, and instead he had endangered it by provoking a fight. He supposed she had a right to know something. However, he was not above discouraging further questions with half-teasing harassment. "I got into a bad situation, and I didn't listen to my Master. Bet that never happened to you, did it? You always listen to your dad?"

"Yes," Mayléa said, unsuccessfully trying to repress an embarrassed giggle.

Uyek's eyes went wide with gleeful outrage. "Liar!" he shouted. "I'm telling. You lie!"

"Shut *up,"* Mayléa told him.

Itai rolled her eyes as if unable to believe the immaturity of her co-ambassadors. Anakin suspected that she only tolerated the younger kids' presence because this was their barn.

Uyek's outburst seemed to have freed him from any hesitation to ask his own questions. "If you're a real Jedi, then where's your laser sword?" he asked.

Anakin gestured toward his left hip. "Well, it's--"

"Can I see it?" Uyek asked, taking a step forward. He was a sturdy little kid, a miniature version of his father.

"Uh, I don't think that would be a very good idea . . ." Anakin said.

"Please? My dad lets me hold his particle welder sometimes," Uyek said.

"Look, this doesn't have anything to do with anything," Itai said, plainly annoyed at having lost control of the situation.

Anakin decided he'd much rather deal with Uyek than Itai. "Hey, I've got an idea. We could pretend we have lightsabers and you're a Jedi," he said.

"Yeah!" Uyek shouted.

There were spare parts for the lift's counterweight system stored up in the rafters, and Anakin quickly located a couple of metal rods with protective plasform coverings on them. With a little effort, he worked off the semi-rigid covers and handed one to Uyek.

"I want one too!" Mayléa exclaimed.

"We did not come up here to play," Itai said.

The kids outside must have disagreed with her, because as soon as Uyek started taking pokes at Anakin, their curious shouts turned into a group rush for the barn ladder.

//Wonderful,// Anakin thought. //I started the day wading up to my armpits in a muddy hole, and I’m ending it by getting the crap beaten out of me by a bunch of little kids with plasform tubes.// R2 retreated to a corner as Anakin managed to arm about half of his would-be attackers. Those who didn't have tubes grabbed fistfuls of hay and flung it at his head. A few were fierce about it, as if they, like many of their parents, were eager face a visible opponent they could fight.

Anakin decided that if he was going to be the evil giant, he may as well do it right. Grinning, he said, “That’s terrible! You’re the worst sword-fighters I ever saw.”

This provoked shrieks of mock outrage and a gleeful frenzy of whacking and hay flinging. Anakin allowed himself to be driven to his knees beneath the onslaught. "No one ever defeats the Dark Knight!” he cried, as Uyek jabbed him repeatedly in the chest with a plasform tube.

Amidst the laughing and squealing that followed, Anakin sensed Itai quietly slipping out, trailing smoldering suspicion. Despite her negative emotions, Anakin felt better than he had for a long time.

****
End 18/?

 

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solojones 
Registered: Sep '00
24089_Obi-Wans
Date Posted: 5/28/04 7:22pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (17/?) 5/27
Gahhh!! Fine, if you're going to be AmazingB, then I'm going to be GriffZ!

This has to be the oddest/saddest role-play ever.

Yay!! I appreciate it, too . . . in-depth feedback makes every day like Christmas

I know exactly what you mean. It's just knowing that your story actually struck a chord and made someone think about what you were saying with the story. It feels so great the few times it does come grin

I'm trying to present the situation as if both Obi-Wan and Anakin are right, but in different ways.

Exactly, and I think you're doing a good job of it. I try to do that as much as possible, too. I find that too many people are either Anakin fans and Obi-Wan haters or vice versa. I think that's a really shallow way to look at it, because there's so much more complexity to it. I like them both for different reasons (but I admit I prefer Obi-Wan just because he's more my type of person wink ).


Yeah . . . but I had a hard time figuring out exactly what Obi-Wan would *do* with Anakin. A lecture seems insufficient for almost blowing up someone who was running away

Yeah, I definitely see your point. I'm not going to be the one to do major Jedi-bashing because I think people prone to not liking authority or rules tend to do that a lot. I understand the need for discipline, in certain contexts and extents. This seems like one of those things that could be a good idea but might backfire with certain people.


[u]Skrikes were egg-laying reptiloid beasts with a hearty and disgusting appetite for farmyard vermin. Over the last several days, they'd developed an unaccountable attachment to both the Jedi, especially Obi-Wan, much to his dismay.[/i]

Hah! I can just imagine a little reptilian thing following Obi-Wan around. I'll bet he would take quite the acception to that. Then again, it's perhaps the closest thing to a girlfriend he's had: it gives him attention, follows him everywhere, and insists on being fed at his cost. Maybe this is the true reason for his aversion to females. I blame the Skrikes.

Itai’s an interesting mix of seeming very old and very young. She has attachments to the sentiments of older people and the traditions of her village, yet at the same time she clearly acts and reasons like a young person. Nice glimpse of that sort of character even in that short span so far.

::In backround:: Knights-who-so-recently-said- : plain "Sh!"

You can never go wrong with MP.

"How do we know the Coridani didn't send you? Maybe you're here to frighten us off the mountainside with your scary stories, so they can take our land without a fight."

It had never occurred to Anakin that his and Obi-Wan's actions could be interpreted that way.

I hadn't thought of it that way either, but that's a really good argument that's hard to counter. Until she actually gets to know them, she's not going to trust them. This applies to the whole village, I think. But they're not going to know if they can trust the version of the Jedi they get to know. What a Catch-22. My head hurts.

I love the portrayal of the curious (and somewhat annoying wink ) little kids. Haha, Anakin, get a taste of your own medicine devil Of course, he actually seems to like little kids, which I do think is how he would respond. That familial attachment again. A problem in some ways, but ultimately a good thing for Luke et al

"No one ever defeats the Dark Knight!” he cried, as Uyek jabbed him repeatedly in the chest with a plasform tube.

Ahhh, no! What a great, clever kind of foreshadowing. Because it's not the typical broody foreshadowing, but rather is disguised in a happy moment. Stop being a good writer.

-sj loves kevin spacey

 

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