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Author	Topic: Spirit Warriors of Angharad COMPLETE Link to MS Word version available 8/4
ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 6/4/04 12:19pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (24/?) 6/4 - Date Edited: 6/4/04 12:29pm (2 edits total) Edited By: ophelia
	Skrike alert. Skrike alert. Ugly animals annoying Obi-Wan, commencing in 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . ** It would have felt good to spend a long time like that, joined in silent contemplation, but unfortunately duty called as it always did. At last Obi-Wan gave Anakin a pat on the shoulder and said, “We ought to feed the sherqas. We're very late as it is." This process involved opening a trap door in the floor and throwing down armfuls of now-sodden and trampled hay into the lower level of the barn. Then the Jedi had to climb down the ladder and toss the dried grass into each animal's pen. Obi-Wan balanced their power lamp on one of the pen posts, and it threw bright light and deep shadows throughout the barn. Anakin remained obediently at his Master's side, and they soon fell into a parallel rhythm of bending to pick up hay and throwing it over the pen walls to the hungry sherqas. The animals were about hip height on a man, and these were obviously used to being well-fed, since many of them appeared almost as wide as they were tall. They were horned, cloven-hoofed beasts whose long, silken hair ranged in color from pale gold to almost green. Several of them were friendly things, and they pushed their triangular muzzles through the rails of their pens to nuzzle the Jedis' hands. Anakin seemed to find some peace in feeding the creatures, sometimes coaxing them to eat out of his hand. Caring for others could have healing effects--a lesson worth learning, or worth re-learning, in Obi-Wan's case. He had thought he had little more to give anyone as he left the meeting lodge that night, but in the face of Anakin's need for guidance and attention he'd found reserves of energy he hadn't known he had. Once the sherqas were all fed, both the Jedi stepped back, watching the creatures chew contentedly. After a moment Anakin asked, "Master?" "Hmm?" Obi-Wan responded, meeting his gaze. "Do we have to go back up right away?" Anakin asked. "I’ve been up there a while, and I sort of wanted to go for a walk, but I’ll understand if . . . you know." He shrugged and glanced away. "I'll go with you," Obi-Wan said, and Anakin flashed him a grateful smile. The two Jedi walked out into the farmyard, where they were met almost at once by a riotous flock of skrikes. The vaguely lizard-like creatures were a little shorter than knee height, and they ran along with frightening speed on their muscular hind legs. Sharp-toothed jaws and curving claws on their small forelegs enabled them to snatch garden-destroying moths out of the air, which was why they were set loose from their pen at night. They were also unnervingly fond of Obi-Wan, and a group of them stood directly in his path, gazing adoringly up at him with their red, unblinking eyes. The creatures cocked their heads to the side, their mouths open. "Go away," he told them. They responded with a jubilant cacophony of their harsh cries: "Skrike! Skrike!!" In some cases, the friendship of animals was a sign of advanced spiritual development. For instance, if Master Yoda went to meditate in the enclosed garden atop the Tower of Butterflies in the Jedi Temple, his head, hands and robes would soon be covered in the delicate, fluttering insects. Unfortunately, skrikes were a long way from butterflies. Obi-Wan was not sure what it meant when a Jedi attracted faintly repulsive creatures. Perhaps that fate was reserved for those who aimed at deep spirituality and missed. "They like you, Master," Anakin said. "I noticed," Obi-Wan said. Had he been wearing his mantle, he'd have shaken the hem at them to back them off. As it was, he had to nudge them aside with the toe of his boot. "Shoo . . . shoo! You too. Out of the way." Yet as soon as one skrike moved, another seemed to step into its place. After a few ineffectual attempts to drive them off, Obi-Wan picked up a stone and tossed it into some bushes near the barn. The creatures' arrow-shaped heads all turned in the direction of the noise. "Go on," Obi-Wan urged them, but they didn't move. Another tossed stone finally lured them away. They bolted as one, like a school of fish, seeking imaginary prey. Obi-Wan took advantage of their distraction by unlatching the farmyard gate just long enough for him and Anakin to slip through. To his relief, the cries of the skrikes soon faded as they walked out beneath the trees. The air was very cool and damp, and their passage along the mountain path knocked droplets from low-hanging branches and the broad leaves of the forest undergrowth. Obi-Wan extended his senses through the Force, seeking to blur the edges of his consciousness where they met with the living energy of the night. Obi-Wan had never been much for living in the eternal Now, but he had to admit it was a beautiful evening. Soon, he knew, steamy tropical winds would blow up from the southerly Bay of Basham, covering the mountain country with a blanket of air so heavy with moisture that only its high temperature allowed so much water to be suspended at all. Then cooler air of night would trigger a torrential downpour. The mountain paths would turn into a muddy soup, and travel would become all but impossible. If Auster Perahta were going to attack from across the mountains, it would have to be soon. The people of Nidawi did not have long to get their young ones safely away. ** End 24/? P.S.--I have decided that the skrikes are my personal Mary Sues in this story. Skrike!! -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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diamond_pony2002 Registered: Nov '02	Date Posted: 6/4/04 6:12pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (24/?) 6/4
	I have decided that the skrikes are my personal Mary Sues in this story. Skrike!! LOL!!! -----signature----- Learning to do, doing to learn, earning to live, living to serve.- FFA Motto
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solojones Registered: Sep '00	Date Posted: 6/4/04 8:35pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (24/?) 6/4 - Date Edited: 6/4/04 8:36pm (1 edits total) Edited By: solojones
	Isn't the Czech Obi-Wan site great? They have so many great pictures of Obi-Wan, Ben, Ewan, and Alec. Nevermind those translations. Or maybe that's just part of the fun Have you submitted your excerpts for the SFFA yet? If you hadn't, I was going to suggest using 21 becase clearly I really liked that part, though there are many great parts in the story. Hoel does serve as a really good foil to Obi-Wan. Clever you and your clever, clever character crafting. Well, let's think . . . number of children in the GFFA: seveal zillion. Number of children who grow up to be a Jedi-slaughtering, son-maiming Sith Lord: one. You may be onto something there, solojones. I’m perceptive, aren’t I? Wow! I inspired someone to commit literary analysis! It was second degree, I swear! I didn’t pre-meditate it at all. In fact, I think I wasn’t quite in my right state of mind. I’m going with a section 8. Wait, this isn’t the army. contemplates SW/MASH crossover* ….. I’m really tired I prefer to think of him as a tough-love type, instead of say, a crabby, emotionally constipated jerk. That’s the perfect way to describe it. I’ll have to keep that one in mind whilst writing these two, yes writes ‘tough love’ on the palm of her hand -Ophelia loves solojones Mutually, my dear ---- "I'll go with you," Obi-Wan said, and Anakin flashed him a grateful smile. Ahhh, what a nice little tender moment. You must teach me how to write that between Obi-Wan and Anakin, because I’m going to need it in upcoming parts of my story. I am stuck in my angst land. Help me Ophelia, you’re my only hope (did you catch the reference? You did, didn’t you? ) For instance, if Master Yoda went to meditate in the enclosed garden atop the Tower of Butterflies in the Jedi Temple, his head, hands and robes would soon be covered in the delicate, fluttering insects. The image of Yoda covered in butterflies is very….trippy. Obi-Wan was not sure what it meant when a Jedi attracted faintly repulsive creatures. Perhaps that fate was reserved for those who aimed at deep spirituality and missed. x 1138 wipes a tear from her eye Ahem, sorry, I just really liked those lines. In some way it’s perhaps a little revealing of the truth, but it’s also put in such a dry ‘Obi-Wan’ way of thinking I have decided that the skrikes are my personal Mary Sues in this story. Skrike! And then Obi-Wan marries a half-woman-half-skrike mystical creature who adores him and is absolutely perfect, never getting mad at him, and always using her slightly sharp teeth and mind-control powers that she's just recently discovered to scare off big bad Sithly people who come after him. Best. Mary Sue. Ever. -sj loves kevin spacey -----signature----- 6 x 9 = 42 Proud member of the Colbert Nation My short films: http://www.youtube.com/solojones1138
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ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 6/5/04 12:11pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (24/?) 6/4
	solojones wrote: Have you submitted your excerpts for the SFFA yet? Yes . . . I submitted a section from early on . . . 3 maybe? I thought that had some of the best action writing in the story. It's the part where Anakin destroys the seeker droid and runs into Perahta's scouts. (I also can't read that part without thinking of Harry Potter, what with all the flying around chasing after the seeker and all.) The other part I submitted was the part where Anakin returns after almost killing the scout who was running from him, since I think that section has some of the best dramatic writing. I think I'm allowed to submit two sections, since I was nominated in two categories . . . I guess I'll find out if I wasn't. Wait, this isn’t the army. contemplates SW/MASH crossover* ::Visualizes Hawkeye and Honeycut wiring a drink-mixing function into Anakin's mechanical hand as a joke.:: ::Proceeds to go hide under the bed:: Ahhh, what a nice little tender moment. You must teach me how to write that between Obi-Wan and Anakin, because I’m going to need it in upcoming parts of my story. I am stuck in my angst land. Help me Ophelia, you’re my only hope (did you catch the reference? You did, didn’t you? ) Wait--that's the part where Neo goes to Gollum about rescuing Ron Weasley's sister, right? Well . . . I can tell you that "Creating Character Emotions" by Ann Hood is very good. I also advocate theft. It can help to watch other films the SW actors have been in and take mental notes about their mannerisms and reactions. If you're doing father/son-angst-turns-to-warm-n-fuzzy-stuff involving Anakin, you've got a ready-made resource in "Life As A House." I'd pay a lot of attention to the emotional turning points in the story. If Hayden's character was a little creep in scene A but he's being nice in scene B, what happened in between? How could you replicate that effect? What could you change to make the scene better fit your story? Obviously, you can also watch films which do not contain Star Wars actors. (Unnatural as that may sound.) Studying the interaction between Li Mu Bai and Jen in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" might be helpful. Since you're basically working in the parent/child relationship building genre, you could even look as (apparently) far afield as "Freaky Friday" (either version) or "Monsters, Inc." <---"Aiiigh!! It's a child! Get it away from me! Get it away from me! -> Well . . . I guess she's okay . . . . -> ::sniff!:: I love that kid!!" Cribbing from real life is always good too, but I'd mine it for details rather than scene structure, for obvious reasons. Also, people can get a little funny when they realize you're studying them for inclusion in a fic. Your sobbing friend probably won't appreciate it if you stop her and say, "Okay wait . . . is this grief you're expressing here, or just loss?" I could PM you other notes if you were really interested. The image of Yoda covered in butterflies is very….trippy. Whoa . . . I hadn't thought of it that way. I was aiming for sort of a "St. Francis with little birds perched on his hands" image. I guess now we have another reason why the story of Anakin's fall got so screwed up. Ben was snockered on "Night Train," and Yoda'd been chewing more exotic stuff than his gimer stick. And then Obi-Wan marries a half-woman-half-skrike mystical creature who adores him and is absolutely perfect, never getting mad at him, and always using her slightly sharp teeth and mind-control powers that she's just recently discovered to scare off big bad Sithly people who come after him. You guessed the ending!! Best. Mary Sue. Ever. Maybe I should make it so the skrikes have silver eyes and lavender hair, though. Also Obi-Wan should have known them early in his life and have been secretly pining for them ever since. Yes, that would be best. -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 6/5/04 12:45pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (25/?) 6/5 - Date Edited: 6/5/04 4:19pm (1 edits total) Edited By: ophelia
	Story post commenceth. **** As they passed out from beneath the tree cover and entered the village proper, both of Angharad's moons were visible in the sky. The large white one was nearly full and at its zenith, while the little red one was slightly gibbous and several degrees of arc further to the west. Both moons cast wide haloes in the moisture-filled air, filling the empty village street with luminous twilight. Anakin gazed up at them with a look of longing on his face. “I wonder what they’re doing . . . back home, I mean,” he said. Obi-Wan had never heard him speak of the Jedi Temple with that kind of homesickness, and he suspected Anakin was thinking of his mother. “I’m sure all is well,” he said. “I just wish . . .” Anakin began, and then he shook his head and tore his gaze from the sky. “I mean, Qui-Gon had so much hope for me, and so did . . .” his voice faltered, giving the true depth of his feelings away. It was a clue that helped Obi-Wan understand him; Anakin was often better at shielding his emotions from his Master than Obi-Wan would have liked. “ . . . so did your mother,” Obi-Wan finished for him. Anakin nodded. “Sometimes I think of what they would say if they could see me now. I wish they could see something better than this,” he said, holding his hands out in a gesture that indicated his situation in general and himself in particular. “Ani, we all make mistakes,” Obi-Wan said. “I’ve made them, you’ve made them, Qui-Gon made them. I’m sure even your mother made one or two in her life.” “Not that I ever noticed,” he said. “Nothing really big, anyway.” In Anakin’s recollection, his mother was a saint. “Well, I’ve made big mistakes,” Obi-Wan said. Anakin gave him a skeptical look. One of Obi-Wan’s education Masters had warned him never to tell this story, since it violated two cardinal rules of lecturing: never talk about yourself, and never teach by negative example. Of course, Obi-Wan didn't think this particular Master had ever been right before, so he decided to forge ahead. "I disobeyed Qui-Gon in battle once," he admitted. Anakin looked over sharply, suddenly interested. "Once," Obi-Wan repeated, holding up a finger for emphasis. "I was about your age at the time," Obi-Wan said, glancing at Anakin. The boy looked back intently, clearly fascinated by the idea of his Master being young and fallible. "My Master and I were helping to guard the governor's palace on Emyr . . . the man who’d lost their most recent election was none too happy about it, and he'd decided to take power by force." Obi-Wan mentally revisited that walled city on a hill, recalling how its terraced fortifications followed the curves of the land like the coils of a lazy dragon. "For reasons that are no longer important, we were going to let several of the attackers in by the north gate. I was stationed at the east gate," Obi-Wan continued. "It wasn't a difficult assignment; all I had to do was stand there and try to look intimidating. We weren't expecting a serious attack from that direction. "However . . . before I'd been there long, someone set off a blast charge in a building not far from where I stood. This was a poorer residential district--evacuated, supposedly--but there were a number of homeless beings drifting through the streets. My first thought was that someone might be hurt. So when that building collapsed in on itself, what do you suppose I did?" "You ran straight for it?" Anakin asked. "Of course I did," Obi-Wan said. "Whenever there's a very dangerous situation you can do nothing about, you ought to head right for the middle of it, am I right? What else would any thinking person do?" This was more or less exactly what Anakin had done that afternoon, and the boy looked away, apparently trying not to be amused by Obi-Wan’s story. In this case, laughing at Obi-Wan carried the price of being willing to laugh at himself. **** End 25/? -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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diamond_pony2002 Registered: Nov '02	Date Posted: 6/5/04 3:31pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (25/?) 6/5
	That was great! I love seeing Obi-Wan relate to Anakin! And you have the comparisons done wonderfully! -----signature----- Learning to do, doing to learn, earning to live, living to serve.- FFA Motto
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ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 6/6/04 12:14pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (26/?) 6/6 - Date Edited: 6/6/04 12:15pm (1 edits total) Edited By: ophelia
	Thank you!! I like seeing the two of them relate to each other too. Watching bickering is no fun . . . unless it's hilarious bickering, like between Han and Leia. **** "Any guesses as to what the strategic importance of a bombed-out building in the middle of an evacuated neighborhood was?" Obi-Wan asked. "None?" Anakin suggested. "Or slightly less," said Obi-Wan. "It would have been far better if I'd remained at my post. But I didn't . . . I bolted, and left the palace guards in some confusion. Then the insurrectionists saw their chance, and rushed the gates." He fell silent a moment, still feeling the bite of regret some sixteen years later. "There were no serious injuries . . . or none that I know of, anyway," he said, glancing upward as he offered his thanks to the Force. "Fortunately, the palace guards were reluctant to harm their own people, and they used force pikes set on low power. Still, some people were hurt in the fight, mostly the invaders. My fault," he said, tapping his chest. "Master . . . you can't blame yourself for what somebody else decided to do," Anakin protested. "You didn't make those people attack the guards." "I placed innocent people in harm's way by my choice not to follow orders. I betrayed my Master's trust. It was a very grave error, despite the fact that I thought I was 'helping.'" Obi-Wan fell silent for a few moments, allowing that to sink in. At last Anakin asked, "What happened? Did you get in a lot of trouble?” "Let’s just say that Qui-Gon was not happy," Obi-Wan said. "I’m not sure what he would have done if it weren't for the Jedi prohibition against anger. He reprimanded me on the spot, and ordered me back to our quarters to spend time in reflection. Still, he was milder than the captain of the guards was. He wanted me pilloried--literally, as a matter of fact. "My Master ended up telling me to stay right by his side until further notice, which was just as well, really. I wasn't having much success regulating my own emotions at the time." He glanced over at Anakin and added, "I cried for days." “You did not,” Anakin said, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Yes, I did,” Obi-Wan said. “I was terrified that someone had been badly hurt or killed because of what I'd done, and that I’d be expelled for it. Qui-Gon tried to explain to me that there wouldn’t be much of the Jedi Order left if they expelled every teenager who did something silly, but I couldn’t let the fear go . . . I suppose it was my way of punishing myself.” He'd actually been in much worse shape than Anakin was. Anakin’s variable moods lent him a certain resilience, while Obi-Wan's more stable personality worked against him sometimes. Depression had settled over him shortly after the battle on Emyr and refused to lift. “Did Qui-Gon help you get over being so scared?” Anakin asked. “Yes,” Obi-Wan said. "He regretted having placed me in a position that required such steadiness before I was ready. I could sense that every time he looked at me and saw me grieving, he felt a twinge of guilt, which he immediately offered up to the Force. He called that 'living in the moment'—-letting the past go, and not fretting about the future. I think this went on for a good half a day before I realized he wanted me to imitate him. It was hard for me to see that I had the same choices he did--what with the entire universe revolving around me and my problems and all.” Anakin smiled, apparently amused at the mental image of Obi-Wan as a self-absorbed adolescent. “Things went a lot better for me after I finally stopped letting my negative emotions feed on themselves.” “But . . . I need to feel bad so I won’t do it again,” Anakin said. “Not so bad that it blocks you from improving yourself,” Obi-Wan pointed out. “The best thing to do is to control your emotions from the beginning, so you never work yourself up into the kind of fear that drove you to act as you did today. You know what Master Yoda says about the beginnings of control.” Anakin recited from memory: “Be mindful of your thoughts, for they determine your emotions. Be mindful of your emotions, for they determine your actions. Be mindful of your actions, for they determine your character.” “That’s right. So be careful of your thoughts, my young Padawan. If you tell yourself that you can’t learn self-control, then that may become true,” Obi-Wan said. “Yes, Master,” Anakin said, sounding suitably sobered by the thought. “Don’t worry about it overmuch,” Obi-Wan said. “You’ll be spending your time with me for a bit, so I’ll be monitoring your thoughts and emotions for you. If you start heading down the wrong path, I’ll let you know.” “Yes, Master . . . thank you, Master.” Anakin’s thanks sounded truly sincere, and Obi-Wan was moved to put an affectionate arm around his shoulders. They walked that way to the far edge of the village, and then stood gazing out at the darkened forest for a time. Insects hummed and alien birds croaked to one another in the trees. At first, all seemed peaceful. Anakin sensed the tendrils of danger first. “What was that?” he asked. Both Jedi's right hands moved instinctively to their saber hilts. For an instant, Obi-Wan sensed it too--a malevolent presence carefully shielding itself against his awareness. Yet when he scanned the area more closely, it was gone, like the touch of an icy hand in a nightmare that vanishes upon waking. Anakin stood very still and silent at his side, as if listening. Nothing. The sound of insects. Nothing. "I think we’d better get back to the barn," Obi-Wan said. Anakin did not reply; all his attention seemed focused upon the forest beyond the village. Obi-Wan put his hand on his Padawan's shoulder and wordlessly guided him back toward the village center and the Oyas' farm. **** End 26/? -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 6/7/04 1:16pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (27/?) 6/7
	A sense of unease followed Anakin into sleep. He tossed and turned in his damp nest of hay, often jolting out of a light doze at some imagined sound. He could not have said exactly what made him nervous. Perhaps it was the harrowing events of the day, or his vision of the chains. Maybe it was the strange, directionless sense of menace he'd picked up at the edge of the village. At such times, his thoughts often gravitated toward his mother and lovely Padmé Naberrie--the two wisest and kindest women in the galaxy. They were the secret that he was trying to keep from the mind healers. He hid his love for them away like a precious jewel. That love was his one prize possession, the one thing he would not let the Jedi Order have. If the mind healers found out, they would tell him that he must give up the attachments of his former life before he could expect to progress spiritually as a Jedi. He would still be allowed to feel compassion, which was a sort of broad, professional love, for the women who were most important to him, but compassion was such a pale, vague feeling. What he really wanted was to remain emotionally bound to one of them as a son, and to the other, maybe someday, as a husband. That wouldn’t be good enough for the Jedi Order; they’d tell him he’d have to make a choice. But Anakin didn’t want to choose. So far, he’d gotten along by hedging, telling half-truths when he had to, and trying to use his growing skills to make up for the soul-deep commitment he wasn’t able to make. Most people didn’t notice. Master Obi-Wan did sometimes, and Anakin knew it troubled him. That’s why he talked about taking Anakin to the mind healers a lot. If Obi-Wan only knew the truth, he would understand why the mind healers couldn’t help his Padawan. Of course, the truth was the one thing Obi-Wan must never know. Guiltily, like a spice-head seeking a forbidden fix, Anakin allowed his thoughts to dwell on Padmé, imagining what it would be like to meet her again, to talk with her, to kiss her. Yet even his favorite fantasy brought him little comfort that night. His fretfulness soon disturbed his Master, and Anakin quickly raised his mental shields. If Obi-Wan had picked up anything abnormal from Anakin, he didn’t show it. Perhaps he thought he was only dealing with the well-worn erotic daydreams of a teenage insomniac. In any case, he seemed merely exasperated as he reached over and rested his hand on Anakin's head, as if he could physically halt the whirling of his apprentice's thoughts. "Stop," Obi-Wan said. He traced a small half-circle on Anakin's forehead with his thumb, accompanying the gesture with a gentle Force-suggestion: //Go to sleep.// That trick worked on really small kids, and Anakin wasn't impressed. “Master, I’m almost an adult,” he pointed out. “You don’t do that to people my age.” “Fine then,” Obi-Wan said. He raised himself up on his elbow and leaned in toward Anakin’s face. Anakin got a realy good look at his Master's exhaustion-reddened eyes as he said: “Go. To. Sleep.” With that Obi-Wan rolled back over and tossed a fold of his mantle over his head. “You don’t have to be so grumpy about it,” Anakin said. That earned him a little mental flick of disapproval, the Jedi equivalent of a box on the ears. Feeling grumpy himself, Anakin lay down facing away from his Master, and tried once again to sleep. Perhaps fatigue had left him more susceptible to Obi-Wan’s little sleep trick than he'd thought, because exhaustion seemed to fold around him like a blanket, and unconsciousness soon took him. **** End 27/? -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 6/8/04 11:22am Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (28/?) 6/8
	Unfortunately, he dreamed he was awake. His dream-self lay on his back in the hollow he'd worn in the hay, his shoulder blades and pelvic bones resting uncomfortably against the bare wood floor. All around him was dark, except for the sliver of bluish moonlight that shone around the edge of the loft door. Even R2 had shut off most of his status lights to conserve power. Obi-Wan lay nearby, wrapped up in his still-damp mantle. Anakin sensed that he had fallen into a dreamless sleep. For all intents and purposes, Anakin was alone. Stabs of adrenaline kept running through him, although no immediate danger seemed present. He tried using the Force to find the source of his fear: //What is it? What do I have to be afraid of?// As if in answer, the loft door swung open wider with the whisper of a creak. Frozen like an insect encased in ice, he watched the bar of light on the floor grow, framing a long, cloaked shadow. A strange, half-animal hiss filled his ears. The sound soon resolved to a voice: "Vengeance." Anakin jolted awake. He could feel his heart hammering as if he'd run for miles. For a moment he lay very still, feeling sweat run down the back of his neck. //A nightmare.// The loft door was still closed. No menacing shadow had appeared. Yet for some reason, his sense of dread did not lessen. He shut his eyes and extended his senses through the farmyard, letting his awareness settle like tendrils of smoke into every crevice of the Oyas' property. He detected no obvious threat, but sharp jabs of a nameless fear left him increasingly certain that there was something outside the barn. Soon Obi-Wan's deep, slow breathing shifted to the nearly-inaudible breath of wakefulness. Anakin glanced over and saw moonlight picking out faint highlights in his Master's open eyes. "Master . . .?" Anakin whispered. "Do you sense it too?" Obi-Wan's answer was to reach over and slowly wrap his hand around his saber belt. He rolled near-soundlessly to his feet, and Anakin picked up his own belt and did likewise. The two of them readied themselves for battle as quickly and silently as they could, but R2's lights came on at the soft clink of Anakin's belt fasteners. Obi-Wan pointed a stern finger at the droid, and R2 remained quiet. Anakin caught his Master's glance toward the ladder leading down to the barn's darkened lower level. He knew what Obi-Wan was thinking. Their current defensive position was poor; they were on the second floor of a windowless building with no easy way to get to the ground. Anakin could not sense anything waiting down below, but he was in no hurry to descend that ladder into the dark. Obi-Wan must have agreed with him; he turned and strode to the door that led out onto the lift platform. He pushed it partially open, and both Jedi stood in the door's shadow, peering out into the moon-washed farmyard. Anakin could see nothing moving. For some reason, the quiet bothered him. Something was missing . . . “Master--the skrikes are silent,” Anakin whispered. He had never known the voracious animals to fall quiet before. No danger was apparent, no sound broke the silence of the night, yet the cool pre-dawn air seemed to pulsate faintly with evil. Obi-Wan drew his saber and held it unlit at his side; Anakin did likewise. Listening with the Force, they remained still so long that Anakin's muscles began to ache from holding the same position. At last the soft hiss returned to his mind--like the exhalation of a breath long held. The mere presence of the sensation was fearful, wrong, like the rustle of clothing in a room where he thought he was alone. He and Obi-Wan were presumably the only Jedi, the only trained Force-users, on Angharad. Nothing on this planet should be stalking them, breathing softly into their minds. **** End 28/? -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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Domina_Tagge Registered: May '01	Date Posted: 6/8/04 3:57pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (28/?) 6/8
	New reader here.... congratulations on your nominations! ophelia, I have spent a very happy few days catching up on your story, and I must say I'm hooked! The level of detail is so satisfying, and the emotional resonance is so deep. Bravo, bravo!! I particularly enjoyed one bit on page 1 about how one of the vehicles had an unfortunate tendency to explode when hit from behind.... I was cracking up at the idea of the Intergalactic Ford Pinto! (and coming up with bizarre ideas for a story about used swoop bike salesmen) Obi-Wan was not sure what it meant when a Jedi attracted faintly repulsive creatures. Perhaps that fate was reserved for those who aimed at deep spirituality and missed. ROFLOL! Reminds me of Douglas Adams! P.S.--I have decided that the skrikes are my personal Mary Sues in this story. Skrike! All over Obi-Wan like glue, and no bothersome Jedi Code to get in the way - that's pure heaven! Can't blame you! From parts 27 & 28... I hate it when I can't sleep and then dream that I'm lying awake in bed! Poor Anakin..... if the Jedi mindhealers only could get their hands on you.... this isn't an AU, is it? Yikes!! I'm caught up now. Did I ever make it a good time for my first post! I'm glad you're posting this so regularly... I might not be able to read / post every day but I'll be here Thanks for the great read ophelia! -----signature----- Priestess of the Sacred Circle & HandmaidenEirtae's newbiewan Charlotte Jordan's mom (10-2-03) "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." - The Princess Bride
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ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 6/8/04 8:44pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (28/?) 6/8
	Domina_Tagge wrote: New reader here.... congratulations on your nominations! Thank you! And welllcome to my nightmare . . . I was cracking up at the idea of the Intergalactic Ford Pinto! Yeah . . . that's pretty much what I was thinking of. Hey, it's a low-end product . . . these people aren't rich. (and coming up with bizarre ideas for a story about used swoop bike salesmen) You know . . . I keep thinking Anakin would be good at that . . . he could run "Uncle Ani's Used Speeders" or something. That's what he should have done with his life. Drop out of the Jedi Order, marry Padmé, and sell spare parts for stuff that goes really fast. Little did Qui-Gon know there was an obscure passage in the Chosen One prophecy about said One maybe not bringing balance to the Force, but giving the Jedi really good deals on "pre-owned" speeder components instead. All over Obi-Wan like glue, and no bothersome Jedi Code to get in the way - that's pure heaven! Can't blame you! ::sigh:: Skrike!! Pretty much all the other notable details in the story have some plot function or other, including the "Intergalactic Ford Pinto," but I confess that the skrikes are totally gratuitous. The fact that I really wanted them in there even though they serve no purpose whatsoever is what clued me in that they were lizardlike, bug-eating Mary Sues. (And who says Mary has to be gorgeous?!) if the Jedi mindhealers only could get their hands on you.... this isn't an AU, is it? Actually it is, but only because I included R2 in an early draft and then found I couldn't get rid of him once I found out that he was supposed to be on Naboo with Padmé. Hey, R2 and Anakin were together throughout the last part of TPM, so I figured they stayed together. (That gives you an idea of how long this damn plot bunny's been biting . . . I started toying with it back in '99, after the first prequel came out. Then I gave up on it, because I could tell it was going to be way too much work.) I was imagining this to be a 99.99% canon universe in which Anakin goes over to the dark side, but if you'd rather imagine it otherwise, go ahead. I'm glad you're posting this so regularly... I should be able to keep this up throughout the summer . . . when classes start again in the fall I'll just have to do the best that I can. I might not be able to read / post every day but I'll be here And I'll be glad to have you. Thanks for posting! -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 6/9/04 11:17am Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (29/?) 6/9
	Begin 29/? ** Something about that eerie hiss seemed to propel Obi-Wan into action. He pushed his way through the door, igniting his saber as he strode out onto the lift platform. Without missing a beat, he stepped off the side, catching the wooden edge with one hand as he fell. He swung himself forward and landed lightly on his feet, well away from any potential hiding places along the barn's wall. Anakin matched him move for move, hitting the ground less than a second later. The two Jedi walked with battle-ready slowness to the center of the farmyard. From where they stood, the surrounding forest was visible to both the east and west. Various buildings obscured their vision to the north and south. Anakin took a position facing east, his back up against his Master's. They stood motionless for some time, scanning the night, their ignited blades casting bluish shadows at their feet. Silence reigned. Just when Anakin began to hope the threat had moved on, he heard the hiss again, this time as much audibly as mentally. It had a satisfied sound to it: "Yesss." Anakin stiffened, wondering if he and Obi-Wan had been drawn out into a trap. "Master, what is it?" he asked. “Don't respond to it,” Obi-Wan told him. Anakin sensed Obi-Wan was not afraid--rather he was filled with the icy battle calm that Jedi felt instead of fear. However, the strength of the mental resistance he put up against this intruder told Anakin that the danger must be serious indeed. He had a terrifying thought. “Is it a Sith?” he asked. He had not been present for the Sith Lord's attack on Naboo, but he could not imagine what else would give off an energy signature of such concentrated evil. For an instant, emotion broke through Obi-Wan's usually steely self-control. "Don't think such things," he said sharply. Anakin opened his mouth to protest the rebuke, but never found his voice. A soft hiss filled his mind instead: //Skywalker.// He froze. A thrill of terror ran down his spine as he thought: //It knows my name.// He remembered the seeker that had shown up out of nowhere, how R2 had claimed someone set him up. Prickles of anger welled up in him as he saw he'd been deliberately targeted. "What do you want from me?" Anakin demanded. He took a step forward, intent on confronting his unseen enemy. Somewhere in this farmyard there must be a shadow out of place. He sought it, looking for a focus for his aggression. Obi-Wan stopped him by clamping a hand on his shoulder. "Stand your ground," he ordered. Anakin could not imagine letting the thing go skulking around among the outbuildings, waiting to attack at its pleasure. "If we force it out into the open--" he began. "It's testing you--searching your mind for weaknesses. Your anger is giving it what it wants." When Anakin hesitated, Obi-Wan added gravely, "You've made enough mistakes for one day." Chastened, Anakin moved back to his position, though his whole body fairly shook with the desire to go after their hidden enemy, to drag him into the light where he could be dealt with. His duty to obey his Master and his thirst to vanquish this foe pulled at him from opposite directions; inside, he felt like a thin wire drawn tight. //Come out and fight,// the hissing voice taunted. ** End 29/? -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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DarthPenguin Registered: Mar '03	Date Posted: 6/9/04 12:15pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (29/?) 6/9
	Truly, the utter joy of reading this story is the wonderful relationship you have crafted between Obi-Wan and Anakin...in how they view each other...their verbal give and take, etc. Just for the record, I love that R2 is with our boys. After all, he is the real hero of the saga. At least, R2 would say so. Darth Vengeance is out there lurking I see. Well, he was in the original version, so I assume it is. Great name. It makes you wonder how the Sith go about taking their Sithly names. Perhaps there is some Dark Lord thesaurus they thumb through. Let's see, shall I be Darth "Venom"? Darth "Perfidy?" I know, Darth "Maleficience!" That's pretty catchy. Keep up the good work.
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ophelia Title: Ex-Mod Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 6/9/04 3:44pm Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (29/?) 6/9
	DarthPenguin wrote: Just for the record, I love that R2 is with our boys. After all, he is the real hero of the saga. At least, R2 would say so. You know . . . GL has said something similar. He's also gone on record as saying that there will be a shocking revelation in Ep III that will rival the "I am your father" thing . . . Anakin = random yahoo Chosen One = droid Darth Vengeance is out there lurking I see. Well, he was in the original version, so I assume it is. Great name. It is indeed he. I'm surprised and flattered that you remember him. FWIW, there's a user on the boards called Darth Vengeance, but the character's not named after him. I guess Star Wars-addicted minds think alike. It makes you wonder how the Sith go about taking their Sithly names. Perhaps there is some Dark Lord thesaurus they thumb through. Let's see, shall I be Darth "Venom"? Darth "Perfidy?" I know, Darth "Maleficience!" That's pretty catchy. I always wondered that too. Maybe they prance around a dressing room full of various black outfits singing, "I feel Sithy, oh so Sithy . . ." until inspiration strikes. After TPM came out, some friends and I had a long (pointless) conversation about why the Sith always seemed to give themselves angry names when there are 6 other perfectly good deadly sins to name yourself after. My personal favorite was Darth Sloth, Lord of the Slack. He and his Padawan Slacker capture people in their slacktor beams, thus trapping them on the couch in front of the TV forever. I was even going to write up Darth Sloth's manifesto, but I was too lazy to finish it. (Well, duh . . .) I have no idea how much of Darth Vengeance's backstory is going to end up making the "final cut," but I can tell you that in my original notes for him, his birth name was Marrok Arun, and that his Sith name is the key to his character (also duh): (From notes) Vengeance has the whole fear/anger/hate/suffering thing covered. Casual sadism comes easily -- violence is sexually attractive. Think a young Jeffrey Dahmer with wings. In fact he's so filled with rage and a sense of having been wronged that he's more unstable than Sidious would like. Pathetically, he seems to desperately crave Sidious' approval and is becoming increasingly paranoid about and jealous of Anakin Skywalker. The possibility exists that this jealousy and incipient sense of betrayal may cause him to turn against his master. More than you wanted to know, perhaps . . . but I like the idea of a flying Dahmer. -----signature----- In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with your mom
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Domina_Tagge Registered: May '01	Date Posted: 6/10/04 8:04am Subject: RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (29/?) 6/9
	Ooooh! Your Darth Vengeance is quite scary, even without the Dahmer references. The Sith seems to have Anakin's number... poor guy, he's only competing for his Master's affections. An insulting feeling to know that your replacement is being groomed and you are indirectly helping out. LOL, I totally agree that R2 is the real hero of the GFFA. I toyed with writing a story where R2 slipped up, but then everyone would have died in Episode I and there wouldn't be much left to the story, would there? Trying not to hit "reload" too many times today in anticipation of an update -----signature----- Priestess of the Sacred Circle & HandmaidenEirtae's newbiewan Charlotte Jordan's mom (10-2-03) "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." - The Princess Bride
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