|
«
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
»
-
Previous
|
Next
|
Reload
|
| Author |
Topic:
Spirit Warriors of Angharad *COMPLETE* Link to MS Word version available 8/4
|
ophelia
Registered:
Jun '02
|
Date Posted:
6/10/04 9:12am
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (30/?) 6/10
|
Domina_Tagge wrote:
An insulting feeling to know that your replacement is being groomed and you are indirectly helping out.
Yeah . . . I hate when that happens. 
I toyed with writing a story where R2 slipped up, but then everyone would have died in Episode I and there wouldn't be much left to the story, would there?
Well, I guess not . . . but think of the money they would have saved! I think you should pitch that idea to Rick McCallum.
Trying not to hit "reload" too many times today in anticipation of an update
Oh, twist my arm already. 
****
"Who are you?" Obi-Wan asked. When he got no reply, he said, "State what you want from us or be on your way. We have no desire to play games."
After a moment, the voice hissed: "Death to Jedi." The words seemed to hang in the damp night air.
Anakin sensed the hidden being's desire for battle. //What's he waiting for?// he wondered.
"Not very original," Obi-Wan replied to the creature's taunt. “If you want to kill Jedi, you’ve got a lot of competition.”
Anakin felt the waves of malice increasing in intensity, and wondered if their adversary might be goaded into revealing himself after all. Then, all at once, he felt the dark pressure in his mind go slack. A sudden movement to his right caught his eye. As he turned his head, he glimpsed a crouching, cloaked figure leaping from the roof of the barn out into empty space. An instant later, there was only the barn's sloped roof silhouetted against the lightening sky.
"What was it?" Anakin asked, near-breathless.
"I don't know," Obi-Wan said, in a tone that made it clear he had an idea, but was refusing to overreact. They remained in position for a time, listening until the forest insects began their trilling, creaking songs again. Then Obi-Wan extinguished his blade and patted Anakin on the shoulder a couple of times, giving assurance that it was all right to stand down from high alert.
"Master, I--" His words were cut off by a hideous squeal coming from near the house.
Both Jedi turned sharply before the nature of the sound sunk in--the cry had been that of a stricken weavole, a tunneling garden pest the skrikes devoured whenever they could. Soon the lizard creatures' own barking calls started up, and the farmyard began returning to normal.
"I was going to say, I don't think I'm going to get back to sleep," Anakin said, allowing himself to relax slightly.
"Nor do I." Glancing up at the sky, Obi-Wan said, "I suggest we spend the time until dawn in meditation--preferably somewhere the skrikes can't get to us."
Anakin followed his Master to the farmyard gate, and then a short way along the path to a clearing amid stands of pinyin trees. Pinyins were primitive-looking trees, almost more like giant reeds; they were little more than towering stalks with sprays of hard, green blossoms sticking out of awkward knobs in their trunks. The morning mist was beginning to rise from the ground, making the alien forest seem even stranger. Both Jedi knelt down and rested their hands on their knees. Anakin sensed Obi-Wan's mind falling into the silence of deep meditation almost at once, but it was some time before Anakin himself found enough inner peacefulness to do likewise.
****
End 30/?
Hey . . . I've been posting this for a whole month. Woo-hoo!
-----signature-----
"Once upon a time, again."
--Onoto, NaNoWriMo entry
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
ophelia
Registered:
Jun '02
|
Date Posted:
6/11/04 8:15am
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (31/?) 6/11
|
Much later that morning, Obi-Wan sat with Anakin and R2 in the front room of Pepik Ketanqa's cluttered hut, working to assemble the parts from three different makes of swoop onto an Aratech frame. Pepik had made a brief, intoxicated scene in the village meeting the previous night over the swoop Obi-Wan had destroyed, and the Jedi had promised to make it up to him.
In theory, Pepik could have submitted a damage report to the Senate, but Republic credits weren't much good out here. Obi-Wan had little to offer in the way of compensation except skilled labor. Pepik might not have appreciated how skilled. Obi-Wan and R2 could have done a competent job of assembling a swoop by themselves given the right parts and tools, but Anakin took the effort to a new level entirely. The boy had always had an intuitive understanding of machines, and was capable of making the most improbable collection of components work as though they'd been made to fit together.
Anakin was currently busy setting a series of alloy shims into an Incom housing, which would allow it to accommodate a Mobquet control vane. Obi-Wan leaned his shoulder against the Aratech repulsorlift engine, holding it in place as R2 carefully soldered it.
In just four hours they'd assembled most of the vehicle from a collection of parts strewn about the floor, no matter that many of the components were supposedly incompatible. Many of them might have been stolen, too--a possibility that prickled Obi-Wan's conscience. Alleged theft of Coridani speeder components had provoked the massacre at the Grove of Martyrs. Then again, Obi-Wan had "borrowed" Pepik's swoop and destroyed it, so perhaps he wasn't qualified to sit in judgment.
Obi-Wan glanced over at his student, who was sitting cross-legged on the dirt floor, seeming contentedly absorbed in his work. Anakin had always found it tremendously soothing to work with his hands.
Ani seemed all right now, but Obi-Wan worried about him. What if the creature who'd called to Anakin from the darkness truly was a Sith? There were certain similarities between this creature and the Sith he'd confronted on Naboo. Both assaulted their would-be victims with mental attacks designed to provoke dread and demoralization. Obi-Wan would have liked to believe the Sith had no motive for menacing a sixteen-year-old boy, but Anakin was no ordinary sixteen-year-old. If he truly was the Chosen One, as Qui-Gon believed, the Sith would naturally seek his destruction. Another possibility was that Anakin was not the primary target at all, but only a convenient way of getting at Obi-Wan, who had killed a Sith on Naboo.
"If," always "if." "The Dark Side clouds everything," Master Yoda would say. Obi-Wan briefly shut his eyes against the image of Anakin speeding off across the surface of the Shasti, and himself leveling a blast rifle at his Padawan's back. No, Anakin definitely did not need any contact with the Sith. Obi-Wan would not permit himself to feel something as un-Jedilike as fear, but he had begun to feel the pressure of time acutely, as well as his inability to contact his superiors on Coruscant.
Anakin had just finished sealing his steering vane housing, and he held it up for Obi-Wan to see. "What do you think, Master?" he asked. It would have taken an expert eye to detect that the parts had not been made to fit together.
"Very nice," Obi-Wan said, inspecting the piece. R2 finished welding the engine in place, and the Jedi sat back, rubbing his shoulder.
"Still want to sell me to the tinkers?" Anakin asked, which made Obi-Wan smile.
It was a reference to a very old and rather tacky joke that Anakin found unaccountably amusing. "Oh, I expect so,” Obi-Wan said, pretending to be very serious. “With skills like that, I might be able to get three, four-and-a-half credits for you.”
That got a grin out of Anakin as he attached the newly-assembled steering vane to the swoop's frame. “Wow. That’s two more than you thought you could get for me last time,” he said.
“Well, you did do a particularly nice job,” Obi-Wan said, peering over Anakin’s shoulder at his work and feigning a professional disinterest.
Obi-Wan had grown up listening to Qui-Gon tease him about selling him to the tinkers--a now-extinct band of out-of-work mechanics and starshipwrights who had once been slandered as baby-snatchers. As generations passed the Tinkers since become a kind of generic race of boogeymen used to twit children who weren’t quite being naughty enough for a real scolding.
Qui-Gon had inherited this questionable bit of humor from Dooku, who'd gotten it from his mother, a lady old enough to remember the depression that created the tinkers, and wealthy enough to be able to find something funny about it.
Obi-Wan had first said it to Anakin years ago, without thinking of its meaning. Too late, he'd remembered that Anakin *had* been sold, not once but twice, to the Hutts and then to Watto, and he’d desperately wished he could take the words back.
He needn't have worried--Anakin thought the mock threat was hilarious. In retrospect, he probably appreciated the fact that it contained much more gruff paternal affection than the calm detachment of traditional Jedi relationships allowed. In his heart of hearts, Anakin desperately wanted a family like other families.
The boy had picked up a wooden mallet and was hammering the finished vane in place when Pepik shouted from the darkened back room, "Gaaaahh! Would you be quiet?!" Obi-Wan and Anakin exchanged a look.
Obi-Wan stood as the Anghara man came to the doorway, looking somewhat the worse for the night before. Pepik Kentanqa was big for an Anghara mountain man, taller than Obi-Wan and built solidly except for the soft little paunch around his middle. He was unusual among the men of Nidawi in that he'd grown out his beard and mustache. All his hair was unkempt at the moment; his face looked as if it was peering out from the middle of a dark haystack. It appeared he'd slept in his clothes.
Pepik ran his fingers back through his mane of hair as he growled, "Some people are trying to sleep."
Obi-Wan wasn't about to be browbeaten by the local thief, even if he did owe the man a debt. "If our work is unacceptable, you could always submit a report of the damage to the Senate," he said.
Pepik blinked as if Obi-Wan's words had made his headache worse, and seemed to be working up a reply when there came the sound of small feet running up to the door. Uyek Oya pushed open the greenish tarp that covered the doorway. His dark eyes were wide in his small face. "Dad says someone's coming," he said, lisping slightly through the space where his two front teeth were missing.
****
End 31/?
-----signature-----
"Once upon a time, again."
--Onoto, NaNoWriMo entry
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
diamond_pony2002
Registered:
Nov '02
|
Date Posted:
6/11/04 1:48pm
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (31/?) 6/11
|
|
Whoa! I sure missed a lot! Sorry! I was at an FFA convention since the 7th and just got back today! They were awesome posts!
-----signature-----
Learning to do, doing to learn, earning to live, living to serve.- FFA Motto
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
solojones
Registered:
Sep '00
|
Date Posted:
6/12/04 9:33am
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (31/?) 6/11
|
Since you're basically working in the parent/child relationship building genre, you could even look as (apparently) far afield as "Freaky Friday" (either version)
I’m sorry I haven’t replied in a really long time, it’s not because I hate you now or something. I don’t have *that* strange of mood swings. This has been a really busy week or so and I really despise that because I would much rather have absolutely nothing to do all day, I never get bored. So now I have many a post to catch up on, but that’s ok because I love them.
----
I love Obi-Wan’s story because he’s not afraid to make an example of himself. The way you portray the Anakin/Obi-Wan relationship in this story is really nice. I don’t think they were always fighting, but I also think you portray a more healthy relationship than what I imagine from the films that their relationship would have been at this point in time. That’s not a bad thing at all because it’s still in fitting with their characters… it’s just that it’s perhaps Obi-Wan at his best (since I think in AOTC he wouldn’t be very willing to make such an example of himself). Does any of this make sense? Is this thing on?
This was more or less exactly what Anakin had done that afternoon, and the boy looked away, apparently trying not to be amused by Obi-Wan’s story. In this case, laughing at Obi-Wan carried the price of being willing to laugh at himself.
It’s really too bad that the Jedi in general seem to get in these moods where they take everything too seriously. Unfortunately, I know exactly how that is and I can’t help it. I just think things are pretty serious a lot of the time. I like how you portrayed, for once, that Obi-Wan was willing to try to amuse Anakin and lighten the mood. Obi-Wan, as serious as he is, has this wryness about him and I love the way you capture that.
Watching bickering is no fun . . . unless it's hilarious bickering, like between Han and Leia.
While I have to agree with you that Han and Leia bickering certainly takes the cake, I have to admit my penchant for angst, so I’m not sure I can completely go along with that opinion
Still, he was milder than the captain of the guards was. *He* wanted me pilloried--literally, as a matter of fact.
This made me chuckle but at the same time it was rather sad to think of poor young, silly, ADHD Obi-Wan being threatened by a guard captain.
Anakin’s variable moods lent him a certain resilience, while Obi-Wan's more stable personality worked against him sometimes. Depression had settled over him shortly after the battle on Emyr and refused to lift.
Darn Obi-Wan and his propensity for brooding. It only makes things worse. I think he had to force himself to get over that during his time on Tatooine, otherwise he would have literally gone insane and probably wouldn’t have been around by the time of ANH to help Luke.
That wouldn’t be good enough for the Jedi Order; they’d tell him he’d have to make a choice. But Anakin didn’t want to choose.
Ah, such a very telling little section this is. Anakin does feel guilt about it, but I think he’s unsure if his guilt is his own or just that imposed by the Order. And him thinking that he just doesn’t want to choose is very typical of someone his age. He’s stuck between a rock and a hard place, and as much as he wants to think he’s mature and capable of taking care of himself, he really doesn’t want to have to make a hard decision either way.
"Stop," Obi-Wan said. He traced a small half-circle on Anakin's forehead with his thumb, accompanying the gesture with a gentle Force-suggestion: //Go to sleep.//
That trick worked on really small kids, and Anakin wasn't impressed. “Master, I’m almost an adult,” he pointed out. “You don’t do that to people my age.”
“Fine then,” Obi-Wan said. He raised himself up on his elbow and leaned in toward Anakin’s face. Anakin got a realy good look at his Master's exhaustion-reddened eyes as he said: “Go. To. Sleep.” With that Obi-Wan rolled back over and tossed a fold of his mantle over his head.
“You don’t have to be so grumpy about it,” Anakin said. That earned him a little mental flick of disapproval, the Jedi equivalent of a box on the ears. Feeling grumpy himself, Anakin lay down facing away from his Master, and tried once again to sleep.
Man, I don’t even know how to describe how much I love your characterisation and the interactions you have between these two. This was a moment I just thought was so perfect for some intangible reasons. It’s like there’s this attempt at understanding the boy on Obi-Wan’s part, and yet at the same time, he’s tired and just wants to go to sleep. Anakin, in turn, shows once again his dislike at being treated like a kid but doesn’t realise that sometimes he acts like one. Anyway, I could completely picture this and hear the annoyance in Obi-Wan’s voice, see the weariness in his face… definitely made me grin. And Anakin’s little comment about Obi-Wan being grumpy is so typical of him and yet somewhat amusingly true. That’s our Obi-Wan
The whole section with the nightmare and the quiet waking to a sense of someone being there, and complete silence, was truly eerie. I’m sorry I can’t seem to pick out a specific part of that section that gave me that sense… it was just everything. The whispering in Anakin’s ear, the moonlight highlighting Obi-Wan’s eyes, and me picturing the quiet, deadly grace with which the two would get up and flick their lightsabres on… you are just a truly amazing author, it’s so brilliant!
Anakin sensed Obi-Wan was not afraid--rather he was filled with the icy battle calm that Jedi felt instead of fear. However, the strength of the mental resistance he put up against this intruder told Anakin that the danger must be serious indeed.
Ah, I love this description of how a Jedi prepares for battle. Obi-Wan has long since learned that fear leads to the Dark Side and to acting in ways you might regret (DotF anyone?). It is a lesson that Anakin needs to learn, but the problem is that he’s just too vulnerable due to circumstances to encounter the Dark Side and bring himself back. He really needs a stable support like Obi-Wan there to keep him in line. It’s very worrisome, because Obi-Wan can’t be there with him forever 
“Is it a Sith?” he asked. He had not been present for the Sith Lord's attack on Naboo, but he could not imagine what else would give off an energy signature of such concentrated evil.
For an instant, emotion broke through Obi-Wan's usually steely self-control. "Don't think such things," he said sharply.
Oh, oooh, Obi-Wan has his weaknesses. Ha! DotF indeed
Anakin = random yahoo
Chosen One = droid
If you’d read Jedi Tales 1, you’d know that R5 is, in fact, Skippy the Jedi Droid. So that wouldn’t be much of a big revelation, would it? I don’t even want to think about what GL has planned. I’m just hoping it’s not going to screw anything up. But it keeps me in suspense, nonetheless. The spoiler free rule
"Not very original," Obi-Wan replied to the creature's taunt. “If you want to kill Jedi, you’ve got a lot of competition.”
Ah man, I love it. You hit this perfectly. Obi-Wan’s so cool-headed and wry in the face of danger. This reminds me of this great quote from the OT Annotated Screenplays where GL states that Obi-Wan is like James Bond because he always manages to get himself out of the craziest situations. I would like to add that he is also like James Bond because he’s an uber-sexy Scot  …erm, Greg, don’t read this.
Then again, Obi-Wan had "borrowed" Pepik's swoop and destroyed it, so perhaps he wasn't qualified to sit in judgment.
Obi-Wan realising an instance of his hypocrisy?! Impossible!
Me being me, I really loved the bit of Obi-Wan reflecting on his worry for Anakin. It was a nice moment of showing that he really is uncertain about the boy and about his ability to protect him. The fact that he wishes he could contact his ‘superiors’ back on Coruscant was a nice reminder that, as skilled as Obi-Wan is, he is still very unsure when it comes to training Anakin. He is still too young to need the pressure of raising an unruly teenager.
I really loved the teasing banter between them about the Tinkers. It also added a sense of realism to the scene and the story as a whole (as if it needed more!). I got the feeling that these two characters were real people who had lived a lifetime as opposed to figures created for the purpose of this story. I always love little things like this in stories when done right- they add a sense of fullness to it.
Qui-Gon had inherited this questionable bit of humor from Dooku, who'd gotten it from his mother, a lady old enough to remember the depression that created the tinkers, and wealthy enough to be able to find something funny about it.
 Sorry, I found that bit about Dooku’s mother to be quite funny
And I could definitely see where Obi-Wan would have felt really bad about saying it the first time. Ouch. But the way you described Anakin feeling about the joke was fitting and kind of sad We get these little glimpses at how things could be if they were a family, but in the end they’re not allowed to be that even though, for all practical purposes (and in terms of the saga and themes and such ) they are.
I also love the irony of Obi-Wan and Pepik… Obi-Wan stole from the guy who’s the thief… who also happens to be a drunk… it’s like what Obi-Wan would be if he weren’t a Jedi
"Dad says someone's coming," he said, lisping slightly through the space where his two front teeth were missing.
Why do you have to add little details like that about the lisp and his teeth missing? How dare you seek to show a childlike innocence or any sort of character thing in people who aren’t the main characters!! You are so infuriating, you know that?
Gah, I'm so in awe of you and this story. It's ridiculous.
-sj loves kevin spacey
-----signature-----
6 x 9 = 42 Proud member of the Colbert Nation  Obi-Wan Kenobi and Obi-Wan Kenobi in Ghost Ship Executor All Hail Cliegg's Blue Leg!
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
ophelia
Registered:
Jun '02
|
Date Posted:
6/12/04 11:33am
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (32/?) 6/12
- Date Edited:
6/12/04 1:21pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
ophelia
|
Welcome back, Diamond_Pony2000! It's good to see you again. 
Thank you for your wonderful comments, solojones! Forgive me if I post this first and get back to them in a little bit.
****
Obi-Wan nodded in response to Anakin's questioning look, and the boy rolled effortlessly to his feet. Anakin wiped his grease-stained fingers on his tunic hem as they walked out onto the packed-earth path that led through the trees. Like the Oyas, Pepik lived a short distance away from the village center. R2 trundled out after them, wobbling slightly over sticks and irregular lumps in the ground. Apparently Pepik found the daylight uncongenial; he lumbered back into his other room muttering to himself.
"Did your father say how many people he saw coming?" Obi-Wan asked the little boy.
"No, sir," Uyek said. "He just said to find you and tell you that somebody's coming up on the village from the north."
Coridani territory lay to the north, but surely, anyone coming from the desert would approach from the west, climbing up the valley wall from the river basin. "Thank you, Uyek. Why don't you run home and tell your father you found us."
As the child hurried off, Anakin asked, "Do you think there's any danger? I don't sense any."
"Nor do I--just yet. But after meeting with that creature last night I don't want to take any chances," Obi-Wan said. To R2 he added, "Follow us. I don't quite trust you with him." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder toward the dim interior of Pepik's house, where, judging by the grumbling and rustling sounds inside, Pepik was creeping back into bed.
R2's warbling whistle had a grateful sound. He obviously had no desire for any of his internal components to join the collection of mechanical parts lying on the floor of Pepik's front room.
Morning was nearly over, but a heavy mist still hung in the air, turning the village houses into dark, indistinct shapes in the fog. Hoel Oya either had very keen eyes or this visitor was being unusually careless as he approached Nidawi. Still, perhaps the intruder had his own reasons for making his approach known. Obi-Wan swung the edge of his mantle back and hooked it behind his saber hilt, and Anakin did likewise.
R2 fell behind the Jedi as they strode through the village toward its northern boundary. The street was nearly deserted; a group of villagers had left early that morning for Wemilat, in order to arrange the children's evacuation. That left fewer adults capable of fighting in an emergency. Grimly, Obi-Wan considered the possibility that an enemy had chosen now to attack because the young ones were left relatively undefended.
As they came up to the northern edge of the village, Obi-Wan saw that Hoel's perceptions were correct. A shrouded figure was visible through the mist, leaning against one of the white posts that marked Nidawi's boundaries. It remained motionless they approached. Obi-Wan thought the being looked exhausted or injured; however, whether it was truly debilitated was anyone's guess.
He made sure to stop well away from the creature. "Who are you?" he called out. Neither Jedi had drawn his weapon, but Anakin had taken his proper "ready" position, slightly behind his Master and to his left.
The strange being straightened up and lifted a hand as if to push back the hood of its cloak, then seemed to hesitate. "You are Jedi?" The voice was a woman's; her tones the dry, clipped ones of a well-born Core World resident.
Obi-Wan's surprise quickly changed to equal measures of hope and disbelief. This couldn't be who he thought it was . . . surely, all the missing Freespace volunteers were dead. "Yes," he answered.
He thought the woman whispered, "Thank the gods." She walked toward them, bone-deep exhaustion telegraphed in her every movement.
Obi-Wan met her more than halfway, catching her arm as she stumbled. "Thank you," she said softly. As she regained her balance, she brushed back the moisture-darkened hood of her cloak. "I'm Matreya Leilani."
Obi-Wan scanned her face--it was thinner than it had been in the mission briefing holo he'd seen, and her dark hair lay matted and wet against her face instead of piled on top of her head in an aristocratic coif. Still, she was definitely one of the lost volunteers, the ex-senator's wife he'd been sent to find.
He'd given up all hope of rescuing her days before, after all the evidence he was able to amass brought him to the reluctant conclusion that she and her companions were dead. He'd sent 48 hours' worth of emergency comm transmissions anyway, hoping for some response from a survivor, but his comm had remained ominiously silent. He hadn't dared endanger his hosts by sending anything more. "Lady Bedegraine," he said, his voice soft with amazement.
"Yes," she said, with a surprisingly rueful smile. "Regrettably."
****
End 32/?
-----signature-----
"Once upon a time, again."
--Onoto, NaNoWriMo entry
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
solojones
Registered:
Sep '00
|
Date Posted:
6/12/04 11:51am
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (32/?) 6/12
|
R2's warbling whistle had a grateful sound. He obviously had no desire for any of his internal components to join the collection of mechanical parts lying on the floor of Pepik's front room.
Haha, beautiful. Yes, indeed, the true hero of the saga
Obi-Wan swung the edge of his mantle back and hooked it behind his saber hilt, and Anakin did likewise.
I like that little action. It gives them easier access to their weapons, should they need them, but it also serves to kind of display their sabres to this ‘guest’ or whomever he is. Jedi and their bragging
"You are Jedi?" The voice was a woman's; her tones the dry, clipped ones of a well-born Core World resident.
*glances at newcomer*
*glances at Obi-Wan*
*glances at description of story in first post*
Uh oh …
"Lady Bedegraine," he said, his voice soft with amazement.
"Yes," she said, with a surprisingly rueful smile. "Regrettably."
Hah, I like her so far. This is certainly going to be an interesting twist. I had almost forgotten what their original mission on the planet was supposed to have been, and then you bring up those lost people they were supposedly looking for. Clever, very clever.
-----signature-----
6 x 9 = 42 Proud member of the Colbert Nation Obi-Wan Kenobi and Obi-Wan Kenobi in Ghost Ship Executor All Hail Cliegg's Blue Leg!
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
ophelia
Registered:
Jun '02
|
Date Posted:
6/12/04 1:20pm
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (32/?) 6/12
|
solojones wrote:
I’m sorry I haven’t replied in a really long time, it’s not because I hate you now or something.
Oh, I know. Hatred of me generally develops slowly, inexorably . . . I can feel it swelling in you now . . . give in to your anger! (Aaand so on and so forth, daaahk shide will bee complete, etc., etc.)
I don’t think they were always fighting, but I also think you portray a more healthy relationship than what I imagine from the films that their relationship would have been at this point in time.
Yeah . . . I had to skew it a bit toward the positive side so I could possibly stand to write about them. It's hard to care about characters who are jerks to one another most of the time.
it’s just that it’s perhaps Obi-Wan at his best (since I think in AOTC he wouldn’t be very willing to make such an example of himself).
I have personally decided that mitigating factors have contributed to Obi-Wan's near-ceaseless crabbiness in AOTC. For one thing, Anakin seems not to want his sympathy--he wants his agreement and permission to do whatever he wants . . . or at least that's sort of implied in the "dreams pass in time" scene. I also expect the bratty, angst-ridden teenager routine has gotten old for Obi-Wan. I imagine him as having compassion for actual angst-ridden teens, but thinking that by age 20 a person should have given that up. . . . then again, he could just be a terminally arrogant grouch.
Incidentally, we get to see Anakin in a much more positive light later on. He doesn't spend the *whole* story needing crisis intervention.
Obi-Wan, as serious as he is, has this wryness about him and I love the way you capture that.
Alec Guiness' Obi-Wan is willing to engage in some self-deprecating humor ("Oh, he's not dead . . . not yet.") Whether there were traces of that in him as a younger man is anybody's guess . . . although I admit we haven't really seen it in the prequels.
I have to admit my penchant for angst, so I’m not sure I can completely go along with that opinion.
I'm a huge angst fan myself, but I prefer dismal, interior-monologue angst . . . preferably undertaken in a barren field of gray, wind-twisted grass . . . alone . . . in the rain. (Okay, mostly that's my X-Files fic.)
Actually I used to have this animated gif banner that said: "Discovery Channel Sicence, Atmospherics, And Men Who Aren't Afraid To Cry. It's All Good. --Ophelia's Fan Fiction." That's still more XF stuff than Star Wars, but you get the general idea.
This made me chuckle but at the same time it was rather sad to think of poor young, silly, ADHD Obi-Wan being threatened by a guard captain.
I've always wondered what local populations thought of Jedi kids . . . I can imagine them thinking, "Aaaaaaa! It's a super-powered adolescent! Get it away! Get it away!!" Some people may not be very nice.
Incidentally, the whole Emyr fiasco isn't the only time a well-meaning Qui-Gon set Obi-Wan up for spectacular failure. **cough** Obi-Wan promise...promise me you'll train the boy... **cough**
I think he had to force himself to get over that during his time on Tatooine, otherwise he would have literally gone insane and probably wouldn’t have been around by the time of ANH to help Luke.
I think so too . . . I've always been tempted to write an Obi-Wan-in-the-desert fic that explored how he came to terms with things. If I can think of a way to shoehorn Discover Channel science into it, I may do it.
And him thinking that he just doesn’t want to choose is very typical of someone his age.
Actually, I'd argue that his desire to have it all is his main problem throughout the saga. Obi-Wan's not perfect, but he manages to cope with loss and grief. Anakin won't let go of *anything.*
The fact that he wishes he could contact his ‘superiors’ back on Coruscant was a nice reminder that, as skilled as Obi-Wan is, he is still very unsure when it comes to training Anakin. He is still too young to need the pressure of raising an unruly teenager.
FWIW, this is from my character notes:
Key to character interpretation: Obi-Wan's basically a sensitive guy with a stong need for order and structure in his life.
He carries a small timepiece with him that plays recordings of the Meditations of the Hours at the time they are sung at the Jedi Temple. The Meditations are sung relative to Coruscant sidereal time, and thus the device has no temporal relation to anywhere else. He feels a little foolish about carrying around something with no practical purpose, but it serves a deep-seated need for spiritual connection and order.
A cynical person, or a Jedi psychologist, might sense anxiety and a certain feeling of loneliness and dislocation behind his attachment to the little device.
One could speculate that a sensitive and empathic Jedi might become attached to little rituals, or even detachment itself, in an attempt to avoid the pain of constant farewells, losses, and witnessed death and destruction.
A small flaw, certainly, but among Jedi these things matter. What does this semi-repressed anxiety say to Anakin, especially when it contradicts the things that Obi-Wan teaches him?
The device itself hasn't come up yet, but Obi-Wan's mild neurosis has. There's a certain sense of him turning and clinging to the collective robe of the Jedi Order when he gets overwhelmed . . . which is *not* where Anakin turns when he gets scared. Anakin sees the Jedi Order as more a source of frustration and unrealistic demands than a source of comfort.
I also love the irony of Obi-Wan and Pepik… Obi-Wan stole from the guy who’s the thief… who also happens to be a drunk… it’s like what Obi-Wan would be if he weren’t a Jedi
Whoa! I hadn't thought of that.
Luke: "old Ben lives out beyond the Dune Sea. He's kind of a strange old hermit who drinks a lot of malt liquor and steals people's speeder bikes to go on joyrides. I can't stand him."
Thank you once again for your kind and detailed comments. Your post made my day.
-----signature-----
"Once upon a time, again."
--Onoto, NaNoWriMo entry
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
ophelia
Registered:
Jun '02
|
Date Posted:
6/12/04 1:47pm
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (32/?) 6/12
- Date Edited:
6/12/04 1:47pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
ophelia
|
Damn, you're quick on the draw, sj!
solojones wrote:
*glances at description of story in first post*
Uh oh …
I must admit, nervousness over readers' possible reactions to Matreya Leilani contributed to the breakdown of this story last time. This was in the fall of '02, when there was a huge backlash against the proliferation of Obi/Other fics on the board. I was actually scared to put that categorization in the story header, for fear no one would read it.
FWIW, my original beta reader, the incomparable Aanix_Durray (who, sadly, seems to have left the boards) liked Matreya and officially declared her not a Mary Sue. However, Matreya's also not a traditional Star Wars heroine, in that she's not a Jedi, a tough-as-nails pilot type, or a galactic political leader. I can't say I based her on any particular character, but I did look to movie heriones of the 40's as a partial inspiration. For some reason, I can only imagine Obi-Wan involved in a rather old-fashioned kind of romance. (Medieval courtly love themes are present, but in the background . . . the formality seemed not to work here, and the idea's been done an awful lot. There's definitely more a wartime Greatest Generation feel to their relationship . . . or at least there's supposed to be.)
Anyway . . . Matreya's a bit softer than what we're used to seeing in the GFFA. On the positive side, she's definately not going to be a rival for Obi-Wan in terms of taking center stage. On the negative side, she's an OC romantic interest . . . the ultimate sin among fanfic authors. Here's hoping the whole thing doesn't blow up in my face.
-----signature-----
"Once upon a time, again."
--Onoto, NaNoWriMo entry
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
ophelia
Registered:
Jun '02
|
Date Posted:
6/13/04 2:06pm
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (33/?) 6/13
|
Lor' bless ya, solojones, for looking this over for me! ::touches greasy forelock obsequiously, goes back to rattling change in tin cup in front of sign which reads: "Fanfic addict, pleeze hlp."::
Potentially startling POV shift commencing in 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . .
****
Matreya Leilani sat by the hearth in Dar the healer's hut, her hands wrapped around a wooden bowl of stew. The Jedi had led her here at once and asked Dar to look after to her, to which the old man had agreed. Nidawi's people had little reason to help or trust offworlders after what the Coridani had done to the mountain country, so she was doubly grateful for Dar's offer of food and shelter.
She'd had little time to form an impression of Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his Padawan, Anakin Skywalker, other than that both Jedi were helpful and concerned, and that Anakin was much younger than she'd initially thought. He was a tall boy who carried himself more like a Jedi adult than a deferential Padawan. He'd certainly seemed formidable enough when the Jedi had stopped her at the edge of the village, thinking she might be a threat. And yet he, like his Master, had been quite kind once they discovered that she was only a fool of a volunteer, far out of her depth and in need of help.
She'd wanted to talk to them at once about the information she carried, but they'd insisted that she rest and eat first. They'd promised to return before long and listen to what she had to say. She'd been impatient at first, but now she had to admit she was grateful for the reprieve.
Matreya had eaten little but pellet-like emergency rations for days, and the solid food she'd eaten sent an unaccustomed rush of warmth through her. Sleepiness followed soon after, and by the time she set her bowl on the floor she was fighting to keep her eyes open.
Sleep would have to wait, however. She pressed her hand against the hard shape of the holocube tucked into the inner flap of her tunic, a gesture that had become reflexive over the past three weeks. This time, she pulled the cube out and let it sit in the palm of her hand. The little data storage device resembled nothing so much as a block of dirty ice. Yet three people had already died for the information it contained, and there was no telling how many more might perish if its contents weren't transmitted to the Senate in time.
Slowly, she curled her fingers over it. The cube looked out of place beneath her fingertips' torn and dirty nails. She'd chosen a life of service that at times involved calculated risk, but she was no adventurer. This was a mission better suited to the Jedi Knights, and she looked forward to turning the holocube over to them. After that, she hoped to sleep for about a week.
Mouse, her little med tech droid, bumped his nose against her ankle. She looked down at him and asked, "What is it?" A hatch opened on Mouse's rounded carapace, and one of his delicate sensor arms unfolded with a faint whine of servos. He wanted to take her vital signs.
She smiled at him with weary affection. There was something faintly comical about a cybernetic being the size of a bread basket trying to look after her. "Are you telling me I don't look lovely today?" she asked, hooking a strand of her twig-snagged hair behind her ear in an gesture of mock vanity.
"Lovely t-today," Mouse answered in his buzzing little voice. He opened and closed his sensor arm's grippers until Matreya pushed up the sleeve of her tunic and let him grasp her wrist.
"Flatterer," she told him.
The single blue eye on top of his head flickered as he processed her information. Within seconds he released her arm. "Distress, Tech II," he said, sounding as concerned as his low-budget vocorder allowed. "Distress." Technical units like Mouse did not come with the programming that allowed easy learning and pronunciation of proper names. That cost extra, and Freespace was perpetually strapped for money as it was. The ironic result was that Mouse got a name while Matreya was stuck with a number. "Tech II" happened to be her job title and field medic certification level.
The small viewscreen that made up Mouse's "face" listed the results of his scan. Matreya peered down at it and saw that her pulse, blood pressure and temperature were all slightly out of the normal range. Not ideal, but considering her three weeks in the wild, it wasn't too bad.
"I'll be all right," she told Mouse.
"Be all right," he repeated, as if reminding her in case she forgot.
Matreya had begun her partnership with the little droid some five years earlier, as part of her continuing effort to subvert her own life. When women of her world and caste weren't busy producing heirs for an increasingly thin-blooded and infertile aristocracy, they could choose one of two avocations: charity work, or political intrigue at the Kirillosan court. Matreya had always detested court.
Freespace was an old and more-or-less respectable charity, so at first her family had not objected much to her participation. However, she'd spent the last decade slowly withdrawing deeper into the volunteer group, and now she was almost entirely estranged from her relatives. This was something of a mixed blessing. Her husband, Bela, Lord Bedegraine, a onetime senator and current Chairman of Kirillos's Parliamentary Chamber, had eventually ceased his protests over her devotion to Freespace's cause. He had also given up attempting to have a child with her. After all, she was twenty-nine and had been married for over thirteen years. Surely, if she were capable of carrying an infant to term, she'd have done so by now. Last she'd heard, he was planning on having himself cloned.
Over time, Matreya had come to think of Mouse as her "baby," a role he played perhaps a little too well. He was a spoiled little thing. She was reaching down to pat his domed head when a soft knock at the door made her look up.
Dar's apprentice, Ayita, hurried from the back room. The little girl had been periodically adding to a small pile of belongings near the door for some time now. Obi-Wan had mentioned that the village children would be evacuated in the morning. When Ayita opened the door, the two Jedi were standing on the threshold. Mouse immediately darted between Matreya's feet, apparently attempting to hide in the shadow of her skirt. "These are our rescuers," she chided him. "Don't be such a timid little droid."
"Timid little droid," Mouse repeated, as if she'd forgotten his true identity.
Matreya used the wooden arms of her chair to push herself to her feet. On her homeworld it was considered disrespectful to receive honored guests while sitting down. True, the Jedi weren't technically her "guests," seeing as this wasn't her house. Actually, it wasn't even her planet. However, her experience with Jedi was that they were strange and intimidating beings, and it seemed best to err on the side of courtesy.
"Master Kenobi. Padawan Skywalker," she said as the two men entered.
****
End 33/?
-----signature-----
"Once upon a time, again."
--Onoto, NaNoWriMo entry
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
ophelia
Registered:
Jun '02
|
Date Posted:
6/14/04 10:00am
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (34/?) 6/14
|
"My lady," Anakin replied, brushing his moisture-darkened hood back from his head. She'd noted earlier that he had a directness about him that was unusual among Padawan learners. The Padawans she'd met tended to go through life with downcast eyes, trailing their Masters in deferential silence. She rather preferred Anakin's boldness to the eerie silence of his fellows. Obi-Wan, by contrast, seemed similar to other Jedi she'd known: quiet; polite; distant.
"Thank you, Ayita," Obi-Wan said as the child shut the door behind them. When he brushed back his hood and looked up, he appeared surprised to find Matreya standing. "My lady . . . please," he said, holding his hand out toward her chair.
"We're not the formal kind," Anakin said, smiling.
"I'm glad to hear that," Matreya said. She smoothed her skirt under her and sat down. "My life at home always seems to consist of nothing but receptions full of officials and their protocol droids. I think I've seen enough formalities to last a lifetime."
She thought she saw the faintest trace of humor cross Obi-Wan's face. "To be sure. It's a hazard of life in political circles."
Besides the chair Matreya was sitting in, the only pieces of furniture in Dar's front room were a drop-leaf wooden table and a single mismatched chair. This didn't seem to bother the Jedi, who knelt down on the well-scrubbed planks of the floor. They tucked their toes under them and rested their hands lightly on their knees. Matreya knew this position allowed Jedi to spring to their feet at an moment's notice, but to her it always looked extremely uncomfortable.
They looked at her expectantly. This was the moment she'd been waiting for; responsibility for the dangerous information she carried would now pass to someone else. Yet as she looked down at the holocube in her hand, she was a little reluctant to let it go. It was her connection to her fallen companions. It had been her reason for getting up and moving on for the last three, terrible weeks. Still, there was no denying the reality of the situation. She was a socialite-turned-medical volunteer, not a warrior. She could take this mission no farther. "I have something I want to show you," she said.
At last, she uncurled her fingers and held out the holocube to Obi-Wan. "This is the recording I was telling you about."
He accepted the small block of duraplast and turned it over in his hands. "You believe this contains evidence that would force the Republic's intervention on Angharad?" he asked. His tone was one of guarded interest. Matreya had, after all, made some remarkable claims about the data it contained.
She nodded. "We managed to record Perahta's invasion preparations in the desert. He's amassing equipment for both ground and air strikes . . . it's obviously not a simple security force, no matter what CMC’s chairman claims."
Obi-Wan set the cube on the floor in front of him with a sort of grave care. He seemed to be considering how to phrase his reply. "It was very brave of your friends to make this recording," he said at last. He looked up at her and added quietly, "I take it they paid dearly for it."
The understanding in his voice sliced through layers of distance she'd put between herself and what had happened in Moroara Pass. She turned away from Obi-Wan's too-perceptive gaze and pushed back memories of those last terrible moments: Wullie forcing her and Mouse into a hollow in the rock, pressing the holocam into her hands. //”Wait here. I’ll be back,”// the Wookiee volunteer had growled. Then he’d casting a last, anxious glance over his shoulder toward their attackers before rushing out to meet them-—drawing them away from her.
Moments later, he’d been dead.
Matreya blinked back the stinging in her eyes and forced her breath to remain steady as she gazed out one of the narrow windows that pierced the stone walls of the room. She reminded herself that she was here to honor her friends’ sacrifice; she’d brought the evidence of their murders this far. In a little while, justice would be served, and the nightmare would be over.
Maybe.
****
End 34/?
-----signature-----
"Once upon a time, again."
--Onoto, NaNoWriMo entry
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
solojones
Registered:
Sep '00
|
Date Posted:
6/14/04 10:43am
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (34/?) 6/14
|
I don’t mean to make you nervous about the character and plotline. From reading this chapter so far, I don’t think Matreya is a Mary Sue either. She doesn’t seem to be perfect or amazingly talented and powerful. Leave that to the skrikes! I think people get scared out of writing OCs just because there’s such a stigma surrounding them sometimes. Don’t worry about it. You are such a wonderful author, you are no where near being in danger of writing some ridiculous Mary Sue story. I trust your ability to make it for the better, not for the worse. You have a great grasp on the existing characters, so I’m not worried at all- just interested 
For some reason, I can only imagine Obi-Wan involved in a rather old-fashioned kind of romance.
Oh, oh, does this story end with him saying “Frankly Matreya, I don’t give a damn”, putting on his hat and then walking out into the fog? I knew it
He'd certainly seemed formidable enough when the Jedi had stopped her at the edge of the village, thinking she might be a threat.
It’s interesting, again, how the Jedi padawans are such a mix of young and old. Anakin’s a teenager, and yet, when he snaps to attention and has his sabre ready, he’s a very real and formidable threat.
The little data storage device resembled nothing so much as a block of dirty ice. Yet three people had already died for the information it contained, and there was no telling how many more might perish if its contents weren't transmitted to the Senate in time.
It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing… I’m sorry, was I in the wrong universe there? Hey, it’s a recurring theme in fantasy, though. There were those Death Star plans in ANH, afterall. The ever-present McGuffin which everyone wants badly enough their willing to kill for it, and which conveniently drives the plot
a strand of her twig-snagged hair behind her ear in an gesture of mock vanity.
I like the little details like this and her fingernails being dirty and torn that give this a gritty feel. It definitely helps with the impression that she’s been out in the woods by herself a while and has encountered some really tough things.
The ironic result was that Mouse got a name while Matreya was stuck with a number. "Tech II" happened to be her job title and field medic certification level.
Brilliant. I always wish I could work such amusing little characters and relationships into my stories, but seem to fail. Those little quirky in-jokes and things between people/things add to their characters and, once again, make the story feel more real.
"Be all right," he repeated, as if reminding her in case she forgot.
Yes, sir, I promise to be all right, sir. *salutes Mouse*
Surely, if she were capable of carrying an infant to term, she'd have done so by now. Last she'd heard, he was planning on having himself cloned.
*snorts* Men. I see this as an interesting aspect of her character, though. Clearly, she’s grown up in a very proper world where women seem to be treated like objects. Her past experience with men makes for an interesting set-up
She rather preferred Anakin's boldness to the eerie silence of his fellows. Obi-Wan, by contrast, seemed similar to other Jedi she'd known: quiet; polite; distant.
Intriguing first impressions. To the Jedi, Anakin is more of the problem than Obi-Wan, clearly. In the non-Jedi world, however, Obi-Wan definitely comes across as being rather bland and Anakin as being a more interesting person… it should be interesting to see how Matreya’s perspective on this affects how she relates to both of them, and to see how it might change. *gets out a red pen and adds after ‘distant’: ‘endearing’; ‘brave’; ‘delectable’.*
Matreya knew this position allowed Jedi to spring to their feet at an moment's notice, but to her it always looked extremely uncomfortable.
Yeah, is there some kind of Force trick to keep your feet from falling asleep? Because that would be useful.
In a little while, justice would be served, and the nightmare would be over.
Maybe.
You’re in a Star Wars story, darling- nothing’s ever easy
-sj loves kevin spacey
-----signature-----
6 x 9 = 42 Proud member of the Colbert Nation Obi-Wan Kenobi and Obi-Wan Kenobi in Ghost Ship Executor All Hail Cliegg's Blue Leg!
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
ophelia
Registered:
Jun '02
|
Date Posted:
6/14/04 2:31pm
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (34/?) 6/14
|
solojones wrote:
I trust your ability to make it for the better, not for the worse. You have a great grasp on the existing characters, so I’m not worried at all- just interested
Thank you! It's always good to have reader confidence to fall back on when writer confidence fails. For some reason, no matter how many stories I write, I still get squirrely about them sometimes. I'm trying to give that up for mental health reasons. Hobbies can be dangerous, man. There's no whistle that blows when it's time to quit.
Oh, oh, does this story end with him saying “Frankly Matreya, I don’t give a damn”, putting on his hat and then walking out into the fog?
I was hoping more for "The problems of three people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world." Obi-Wan's a Jedi and a gentleman, after all. He always gives a damn.
when he snaps to attention and has his sabre ready, he’s a very real and formidable threat.
I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley, that's for sure. Well, maybe the grownup Ani . . . if he'd given me his phone number first. ::Thinks about that:: Nah, he's still too young. The skrikes and I will take Obi-Wan.
It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing…
Right--and that's when Boromir the Unconscious Gondorian comes in with Gollum, who's still dressed as a magic sitar . . .
::Brain starts melting, gropes around on desk for medication::
The ever-present McGuffin which everyone wants badly enough their willing to kill for it, and which conveniently drives the plot
Actually, Anakin Skywalker's more of the McGuffin in this case, but yeah, you do need stuff that characters want, or they go on strike and refuse to work. (Stupid characters.)
I always wish I could work such amusing little characters and relationships into my stories, but seem to fail.
But sj . . . you're hilarious. Maybe you're working on other elements of writing right now, and later you can figure out how to have your characters "inherit" your sense of humor? (Not that they don't sometimes: ". . . a particularly shiny floor tile . . .") That was evil, but I loved it. Of course . . . I should be posting this *there* instead of *here* . . . 
*gets out a red pen and adds after ‘distant’: ‘endearing’; ‘brave’; ‘delectable’.*
Hey, you're preaching to the choir.
Yeah, is there some kind of Force trick to keep your feet from falling asleep? Because that would be useful.
People in Japan can sit like that for hours and it apparently doesn't bug them. This is why their cars are so small. They're used to being cramped.
You’re in a Star Wars story, darling- nothing’s ever easy
Worse than that--she's in a Star Wars fanfic story. Can you imagine Fanfic!Obi-Wan trying to buy insurance? "How many illnesses and injuries have I had? Ummm . . . about 300 a day, not counting mental breakdowns and things . . ."
Writers are evil.
Evil!
-----signature-----
"Once upon a time, again."
--Onoto, NaNoWriMo entry
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
ophelia
Registered:
Jun '02
|
Date Posted:
6/15/04 9:38am
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (35/?) 6/15
|
****
Outside, the morning mist had congealed into a stubborn, condensing fog, and she focused on that, using the haze to block out memories she was not yet ready to examine. After the back of her throat stopped squeezing so hard, she was able to answer: "Yes, Master Jedi. They paid very dearly."
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Obi-Wan said, his voice very gentle. Matreya sensed permission to grieve there, but she forced her sorrow down. She feared that if she started to weep, she wouldn’t stop, and she knew in her gut that if she began to break down mentally, she would never survive this place.
Obi-Wan continued with some reluctance, as if he were breaking bad news: "I wish I could tell you this would bring an armed response from the Republic,” he said, touching the holocube, “But I fear that isn’t the case. We can make no transmissions offworld, my lady, and even if we could, maintaining a private army on corporate property is essentially legal. It violates the spirit of the law, certainly--"
"We were fired on in the Pass after making that recording," she broke in. Her voice sounded husky and strange to her own ears. The Jedi fell silent, waiting for her to continue. "Wullie's death is on that holocube," she said. "And Dekkan's . . . Nanapoeg fell before we had any idea what was happening. You can make out the shape of the scouts' helmets as they come down . . . Perahta's men retrieving the bodies."
In the quiet that followed her words, the sounds of the little house seemed to have grown loud: the whickering of the fire; the creak of the roof beams in the wind; Dar grinding something up with a stone pestle in the back room.
“I’ve seen friends fall, and there’s nothing more painful,” Obi-Wan said, his voice gentle. “I can only imagine how terrible it was for you.” His words seemed to fall into the silence like pebbles dropping into a well.
She nodded, acknowledging he'd spoken, but her thoughts were far away. The image of Wullawumpura's body filled her mind: his powerful limbs bent at unnatural angles, dark blood matting his fur . . . .
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Anakin look at his Master, and she heard the youth's boot leather creak as he shifted position. Belatedly, Matreya remembered that Jedi could sense others' thoughts. Her first embarrassed impulse was to cut the interview short and withdraw. Before she could excuse herself, Obi-Wan reached out and placed his hand over her own. It was a measured, deliberate touch, professional rather than familiar, but the gentle pressure conveyed a sense of comfort and strength.
Her grief had been waiting for just such a moment of kindness to break loose, she felt a sudden urge to pull away. //I can’t do that,// she told herself, //he’ll think I find him offensive.// The too-well remembered voice of her girlhood protocol master informed her that this was no way to treat a man who’d risked his life to rescue her. She forced herself to meet his gaze, uncertain of what she would find there, and what her reaction would be.
She needn’t have worried. His expression was simply one of deep compassion. It didn’t seem to matter to him that she was an ex-senator’s wife or a meddling amateur who’d gotten into trouble and needed to be hauled out by the professionals. She was suffering and he was concerned, and that’s all there was to it. For the first time in a very long time, Matreya felt some of the aching tension in her body lessen.
****
End 35/?
-----signature-----
"Once upon a time, again."
--Onoto, NaNoWriMo entry
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
ophelia
Registered:
Jun '02
|
Date Posted:
6/16/04 11:22am
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (36/?) 6/16
|
"Master?" Anakin asked. Matreya did not need to be telepathic to interpret the look he was giving his teacher: //We can do something, can't we?// Apparently the younger Jedi was more willing than his Master to get emotionally involved in the struggles of those they rescued.
Matreya gave the Jedi a grateful but embarrassed smile as she sat back in her chair, withdrawing from the contact. "Forgive me," she said, reaching up to wipe her eyes. Exhaustion and relief were quickly eroding her resolve to stay calm.
Obi-Wan tugged a neatly-folded handkerchief from out of his belt pouch and held it out to her. "Thank you," she said. She blotted her eyes, and noticed with embarrassment that the cloth came away smudged. She folded the handkerchief around the smudge and smoothed the piece of cloth on her knee.
"My lady . . . please don’t apologize,” the young Knight said. “It is I who owe you an apology.”
"For what?" she asked, puzzled.
"My orders were to find and rescue you," he said. "But after all my attempts to find you or reach you by comm failed . . . I’m afraid I assumed you were dead. Had I known, I would never have left you to wander the mountainside alone." There was sincere regret in his clear-eyed gaze, but he seemed neither to expect nor ask for forgiveness.
Matreya was never comfortable thinking that she’d put someone out, even a Jedi Knight who was doing his job. She tried to put him at ease: “I certainly understand the mistake,” she assured him. "I thought I was dead myself once. It turned out I was only a guest at Prince Ezdred's dinner party . . . imagine my disappointment."
Jedi were notoriously immune to socialite charm, but she did get a grin out of Anakin. Obi-Wan smoothed down his beard, apparently as cover while he worked to extinguish the beginnings of a smile. "Yes . . . well, that's as maybe. There's still no excuse for my negligence, and I am sorry," he said.
More seriously, Matreya continued, "Master Jedi, I have been desperately trying to appear dead for weeks. I don't see how you are at fault. I learned not to trust anything that came over Freespace's emergency comm channel anyway. The frequency's not exactly a secret, and I began hearing 'emergency search and rescue' messages almost at once after Wullie and the others were killed. It was far too soon for any real rescue attempt to have started, so I didn't respond. All kinds of terrifying things came over the comm after that . . . I think they were trying to frighten me, so I’d turn myself in. I switched the channel off rather than listen to it.
“I kept the wide-band receiver on because I could sometimes pick up bits of unencrypted conversation. The information wasn’t very helpful, but at least the strength of the signal helped me figure out when Perahta’s scouts were getting close. Last night everyone on the channel was talking about Jedi in Nidawi. At first I didn’t believe it, but then I decided they were all too frightened for it to be a lie. I took a chance and came here." She didn’t mention the part about being nearly out of emergency rations and becoming increasingly desperate to be among people again, no matter what sort of reception they gave her.
At the mention of comm transmissions about Jedi being in Nidawi, a chill had washed over both Obi-Wan and Anakin. She caught Anakin's pained glance at his Master, and the stern one the elder Jedi gave him in reply. Matreya got the sense she’d just put her foot in her mouth.
"Do you recall what they said about Jedi in Nidawi?" Obi-Wan asked her.
"Well . . . most of it seemed like rumors--the kind of stories that spread among people when their leader won't give out accurate information,” Matreya said, almost regretting she’d said anything at all. “Some soldiers said there were two of you, some thought there were a dozen. Until I found you, I wasn’t sure if any of it was true."
"Can you recall anything else Perahta's men said, even if it didn't seem important at the time?" Obi-Wan asked.
Matreya thought hard. She hadn’t been paying close attention to the crosscurrents of hearsay and fifth-hand information she’d gotten over the wide-band channel. It was enough for her that there might be Jedi Knights somewhere close by. "Well,” she said at last, “they seem to feel that your presence is part of some plot by the Senate and the Jedi Council. I don't think they know you can’t contact anyone offworld," Matreya said.
"Well, that's a mixed blessing at best, isn't it?" Obi-Wan asked.
Anakin looked up at him a little abashedly, and asked, "Master?"
"The deterrent effect won't last long," Obi-Wan said. "If think we’ve got backup, they’ll come after us with a force far greater than they need to defeat two Jedi and a group of local fighters."
Anakin's gaze returned to the floor. He wrapped the edges of his mantle around his hands and tucked them between his knees, as if cold. Obi-Wan's expression softened once the youth wasn't looking, and he unobtrusively brushed Anakin's shoulder with the backs of his fingers. Matreya was almost certain they were having a conversation she couldn't hear, but she politely pretended not to notice.
****
End 36/?
-----signature-----
"Once upon a time, again."
--Onoto, NaNoWriMo entry
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Domina_Tagge
Registered:
May '01
|
Date Posted:
6/17/04 7:14am
Subject:
RE: Spirit Warriors of Angharad (36/?) 6/16
|
I'm sorry I disappeared for a while! *kicks DRL*
I like Matreya so far -- I wouldn't call her a Mary Sue at all, unless you are secretly a socialite doing charity work yourself I will come back with comments later.
-----signature-----
Priestess of the Sacred Circle & HandmaidenEirtae's newbiewan
Charlotte Jordan's mom (10-2-03)
"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." - The Princess Bride
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
 |
|
| |
