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Author	Topic: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 3 - bar brawls & more)
PresidentKang Registered: Jun '04	Date Posted: 7/21/04 1:46am Subject: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 3 - bar brawls & more) - Date Edited: 11/16/04 7:34pm (9 edits total) Edited By: PresidentKang
	Hey you! Do you realize by clicking on this story you have officially become the COOLEST person in the TFN fan fic boards? Yeah, this is all about you, baby. Give yourself a round of applause. BOYS NIGHT OUT Author: PresidentKang Disclaimer: Lawsuits are bad, mkay? Summary: Lando, Han and Chewie go for a night on the town and lots of Very Bad Things happen. Yippie! Timeframe: Post Ep. III / pre-ANH when Han, Chewie and Lando were just young smugglers who were trying to make it after all in the big wide galaxy. Characters: Han Solo, Lando Calrissian, Chewbacaa Supporting characters: Vuffi Raa, Two very nasty OCs (one a tall deadly human and one a drunken Trandoshan pirate with bad aim) A mysterious and sexy OC. A bunch of nameless Gamorrean fodder. Keep yer eyes peeled for a Phantom Menace character cameo! Genre: Humor, Action, Adventure, Yelling Author’s note: I was out drinking one night and I thought “Hey, I guess Han and Lando must have done that too.” That pretty much started it. I was a little buzzed at the time. This’ll be a multi-part saga and I’ll post the other chapters if I ever I actually finish them. ahem ----------------------------------------- BOYS NIGHT OUT ---Chapter One--- NOW “You realize this is all your fault,” Han growled. “My fault?!” Lando snapped back. Lando pulled at the ropes holding his wrists together, not really accomplishing anything. “My fault?!” Lando repeated. “Listen, buddy, you’re the one who offered to buy her a drink!” Han was also struggling with the ropes holding his arms together. He didn’t make any progress at all, but it was the thought that mattered. “Ok, I may have bought her a drink but you’re the one who picked that bar in the first place!” “And you’re the one who didn’t want to go into the first three bars I picked!’” Lando retorted. This circular conversation was starting to drive Han insane. He took a deep breath to steady his thoughts. “Look,” Han said through gritted teeth. “We can go back and forth all day about who’s fault it is –” “Well that’s good because it’s not my fault!” Lando yelled. “Yes it is!” “No it isn’t!” If Han could move his hands right now he would have strangled Lando. Both men had their hands tied up to each other’s back, and any fidgeting they did simply made the bonds tighter. It was really ingenious design, Solo himself had used it a few times on unruly bounty hunters, but being on the receiving end was decidedly less pleasant. The two smugglers had been unceremoniously thrown into a dark damp holding cell and the guard had not been gentle about it. Solo could feel the side of his face swelling and he was pretty sure a tooth had been knocked out. The worst damage Lando suffered was having his shirt ripped. Han believed Calrissian would think a ruined wardrobe was his main problem. “You know what’s the worst thing about all this?” Lando chuckled bitterly. “This is a new shirt. Expensive too.” Han closed his eyes and let out a very long sigh. A single light flickered sporadically in the blackness providing the only illumination. Pipes from above leaked moisture onto their heads. Steam from the ship’s life support system intermittently sprayed them in the face. Han wondered if the life support system was set up for sole purpose of making them feel uncomfortable. The thrum of the hyperspace engines was particularly loud in this area of the ship as well. Wherever this hulk was going, it wasn’t a good idea for them to be on it. Han could hear that Lando was muttering something under his breath. “What are you saying over there?” Han asked, trying to look over his shoulder. “Nevermind,” Lando mumbled. “We got nothing but time on your hands here, Lando,” Han said truthfully. “I was,” and then Lando stopped and thought about it for a bit. “I was just practicing.” “Practicing for what?” Han asked incredulously. “You have a poetry recital that you’re late for or something?” “I was practicing bargaining. That is something you should generally do when your lives are on the line.” In frustration Han rolled his head back and ended up knocking Lando on the back of his. Both men yelped in pain simultaneously. “So Calrissian,” Han said after awhile, “what were you going to offer our captors?” “Everything but the ship,” Lando said matter-of-factly. Han contemplated Lando’s statement for a moment. “Does that include me and Chewie?” he asked with an edge in his voice. Lando didn’t answer. “LANDO?!” Han yelled. “Were you thinking about offering me and Chewie up to save your own hide?!” “It was just a thought!” Lando yelled back, exasperated. “And you know what? It serves you right if I handed you off to them. This is all your fault, remember?!” “My fault?” Han snarled. “I didn’t even want to leave the Falcon in the first place!” 8 HOURS EARLIER “I have to get off the Falcon!” Han said to Lando, banging his fist against the console for good measure. Lando punched a few switches on the cockpit controls to reset whatever settings Han had just knocked loose. “You want to get off the Falcon? The airlock is just down the hall. Be my guest.” A look of desperation crossed the younger man’s face. “Lando, I’m going to go absolutely crazy if I stay inside this ship one day longer.” “Well that’s good,” Lando said as he leaned back in the pilot’s seat and lit up a cigarra. “We’re hitting dirtside soon. You can help unload the cargo.” Han decided to try a different flight plan. Threats. “Listen, there’s a Wookie in the back who’s a close personal friend of mine. He’s the one that ripped the arms off that droid back on Lenturi Beorsa. Remember him?” Lando chuckled at the memory. The droid never had a chance. He decided to impart some old spacer wisdom to calm his friend down. “Han, you’re fairly new at this smuggler game so I’m going to let you in on a little secret.” Calrissian leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, and whispered slowly. “Not every single job is outrunning Imps a lightspeed. Not every single job is dodging Authority ships in asteroid belts. Not every single job has to be a blazing firefight at every turn. Not every single job is wild and crazy adventure.” He took slow drag on his cigarra and smiled through a haze of smoke. “A lot of the jobs are really just delivering cargo on time to your clients. And that’s all.” Han coughed and waved the cigarra smoke away from his face. “Alright then, Lando. Now you listen to me.” He looked down at his hands and opened them up, pretending to read an invisible book. “So I’m looking through the Smugglers Guide to the Galaxy here and I don’t see anything about having to live like hermits trapped inside a ship forever.” He snapped the imaginary book shut with a clap, holding his hands together in mock-pleading. “So when we hit ground, why don’t we cut loose and have a little fun?” Lando didn’t immediately respond to that. They had about two more shipments to deliver after this, but those weren’t exactly pressing matters. However, he was trying to build a respectable reputation in the smuggling business so he didn’t think showing up late would help any. Building a reputation wasn’t on Han’s mind at this particular moment. Women, intoxicants, Sabacc and general drunken rowdiness was. He could see Lando was thinking about it too. Han decided to tighten the screws a bit. “C’mon buddy, when was the last time you’ve sat down to a Sabacc game?” “A few hours ago when I just won the right to name your firstborn,” Lando replied truthfully. Han waved him off. “Aside from that. Think a real big cantina, smoky tables, dim lighting, cheap drinks-” “Who said I like cheap drinks?” Lando interrupted, sounding mildly offended. “-the most expensive bottle of Chartac ’04 by your side,” Han smoothly continued. “Big wins, fun times, exotic women.” He went in for the kill. “Unless you’re not interested in exotic women . . .” That worked. Lando’s head snapped around like a blaster bolt had gone off. Then he grinned and waggled his cigarra at Han. “Tricky, tricky, tricky,” he said. He turned back to the pilot controls and fiddled a few buttons to make it look like he was determined not to listen. “But it won’t work. We’re delivering cargo to all of our customers. Punctuality, Solo. Look it up.” Instead, Han stood up, grabbed Lando’s pilot seat and spun him around 180 degrees. He put both his arms on each side of the headrest, trapping Lando, and stared right into his the eyes. “Lando, if I don’t get off this ship soon I will kill you,” Han said flatly. “Make no mistake about that.” A puff of smoke in the face was Lando’s response and Han staggered back, gagging and grasping at his throat. “That’s a really filthy habit, Lando.” Han sputtered out in between coughs. “Ain’t it, though?” Lando grinned. He turned back to the pilot’s console. “I think I smoke cigarras just because I just need something to do-” “Ah-HA!” Han bellowed triumphantly, pointing his finger in the air. “So you ARE bored!” He spun Lando’s chair around again and poked the older smuggler in the chest. “Admit it! Confess! Confess, I say!” Lando rolled his eyes and held up his thumb and forefinger with an inch of space in between. “Maybe just a little bit,” Lando conceded. Han reached forward and pulled the space between Lando’s fingers apart wider. “Maybe a lot,” he countered. Lando spun the chair back to the pilot’s console. This was getting aggravating. “Even if I am, we still have two other deliveries to make after this one.” “So we push the engines a bit,” Han whined. “C’mon, Shrug just updated the hyperdrive. You can have that droid of yours do the tricky navigating. We can spare just a little bit of R & R. You know any good places on this dirtball we’re landing on.” A smiled pulled at the corner of Lando’s mouth. “A few,” he murmured. He turned the chair back around to face Solo. “There’s only one way to reasonably settle this like adults.” Lando reached into his pocket and pulled out an Imperial credit chip. He flipped it into the air. “Call it.” “Palpatine,” Solo said, without hesitation. Lando caught the credit chip and slapped it down into the palm of his hand, covering it. He looked up at Solo. “This decision is legally binding. No second chances.” Han crossed his arms and smirked. “I called it, didn’t I? Palpatine.” With that, Lando removed his hand and saw the glittering visage of the Emperor starring back from the credit chip. Han let out such a victorious whoop Chewie barked from lounge telling Solo to keep it down. Solo slapped Lando on the back so hard he almost fell out of his chair. Han didn’t notice. He was all smiles. “Lando, buddy, I promise you this will be a night that you’ll never forget!” NOW Both Lando and Han had stopped bickering at each other awhile back. In fact, they had even stopped trying to struggle out of their bonds. They simply just sat there silently and waited, the thrum of the ship’s engines their only companion. Eventually the door to the room opened up and in walked a very tall human, flanked by two Gamorrean guards. The ugly creatures held their vibro-axes at the ready, just in case the two prisoners didn’t quite get the point that they were powerless in this situation. The tall man looked down at Lando and Han with a sad expression on his face. He cleared his throat and talked in that same high nasal voice that had annoyed Han so much on the surface of the planet a few hours ago. “I’m afraid we have a bit of a situation, my friends.” “Oh yeah, what’s that?” Lando asked, rather pointlessly. “You see, my Captain doesn’t quite know what to do with the lot of you,” the tall man said, not sounding all that unsympathetic. “It’s caused quite a stir, I must say”. “Look. . .” Lando snarled. “You have our ship. Just take whatever you want and send us on our way.” The tall man slowly shook his head. “Oh, nothing like that at all. You see; the problem is we can’t decide if we should just shot you, let the Gamorreans at you, or just throw you out the nearest airlock. It’s quite the debate. I was wondering if either of you had any suggestions about how we should kill you?” he asked politely. Han’s only response was to spit at the man’s shoes. The tall man sighed, as if the weight of the galaxy was on his shoulders. “If you can’t talk about this like civilized beings, there’s no point in asking you.” He turned to the door and looked back over his shoulder. “Ah well. Enjoy your stay, gentlemen. For however brief it will be.” With a jaunty salute the tall man left. The Gamorreans gave a final angry glare at the prisoners and the door banged shut. The lock slid home with the sound of finality ringing in their ears. Both sat there in the semi-darkness for a moment. Eventually Lando spoke. “Han, I have a bad feeling ab-” “Oh, shut up.” -----signature----- "I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."
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Kartanym Registered: May '02	Date Posted: 7/21/04 2:18am Subject: RE: BOYS NIGHT OUT (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, adventure, action. Chp. 1)
	Now this is funny stuff I love the way you cut between time frames to explain the story, a nice touch. “Han, I have a bad feeling ab-” “Oh, shut up.” That's probably the best part of all for me. Can't wait the for the next part PK.
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LukesTheMan Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 7/21/04 4:45am Subject: RE: BOYS NIGHT OUT (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, adventure, action. Chp. 1)
	Good stuff! I hope you update this one soon, it's incredibly funny. Lando and Han together, now that is bound to lead to trouble! -----signature----- Of Metal and Flesh http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/19859245 Empty Vessel http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/19744934 Proud Master to Annika_Skywalker
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GreatOne Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 7/21/04 4:47am Subject: RE: BOYS NIGHT OUT (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, adventure, action. Chp. 1)
	Great start! I noticed that Chewie didn't go along for the adventure... so now their lives are in the wookiees paws?
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PresidentKang Registered: Jun '04	Date Posted: 7/21/04 5:14pm Subject: RE: BOYS NIGHT OUT (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, adventure, action. Chp. 1)
	Kartanym Now this is funny stuff I love the way you cut between time frames to explain the story, a nice touch. Thank you very much. The flashback/flashforward structure is going to continue on throughout the story to show how they got there and how they're gonna get out (maybe the final chapter will be all linear). I was thinking "Y: The Last Man" when I wrote it, but I'm also a big fan of time twisting naratives ala Pulp Fiction & Memento. So that should hopefully be interesting. I used the "I have a bad feeling-" "Oh, shut up." line because "bad feeling" is a Star Wars staple, but I wanted to do something different. LukesTheManGood stuff! I hope you update this one soon, it's incredibly funny. Lando and Han together, now that is bound to lead to trouble! Thanks alot. I'll probably have another update in a week or so. It took me a LONG time to write that chapter, though, considering how I did it without it being beta'd. And yeah, I will show how they got in there. But its not entirely either Han or Lando's falut. ... well, maybe. GreatOneGreat start! I noticed that Chewie didn't go along for the adventure... so now their lives are in the wookiees paws? Merci bocoup. Chewie is gonna be in the next chapter and all the other ones. One thing I wanna do with this story is really have some crazy WOOKIE RAGE scenes. Sure we HEARD about it alot, but I'm gonna indulge in that "arms out of thier socket" side of wookies. Should be cool. That and Vuffi Raa will show up. I just have a semi-attachment to the little droid because he's so dangblasted weird lookin. -----signature----- "I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."
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leia_naberrie Registered: Sep '02	Date Posted: 7/22/04 1:05am Subject: RE: BOYS NIGHT OUT (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, adventure, action. Chp. 1)
	Upping this so I can find it later... -----signature----- Mortal Instruments {Palpatine/Padmé/Anakin} http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27482874/r27847574
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Star Wars Trivia Hostess Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 7/22/04 7:16am Subject: RE: BOYS NIGHT OUT (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, adventure, action. Chp. 1)
	The best part of this, other than "I have a bad feeling ab""ohshutup" is that everyone's so hilariously in character! -----signature----- "You are some self-important encyclopedia with too much time on his hands. I will see to it personally that you are used for spare parts every time my speeder needs an overhaul. You and that overpriced forklift out there." ~Dr. Bel Maden
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VadersMistress Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 7/22/04 8:36am Subject: RE: BOYS NIGHT OUT (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, adventure, action. Chp. 1)
	“Han, I have a bad feeling ab-” “Oh, shut up.” LMAO! That is hilarious! This was great. A very funny fic. Good job. -----signature----- And what it all comes down to is that I haven't got it figured out just yet. Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. Persia pwns your face.
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NYCitygurl Title: Railroad Baroness of SFFBC, C&G, and NSWFF Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 7/22/04 9:08am Subject: RE: BOYS NIGHT OUT (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, adventure, action. Chp. 1)
	This is a great fic!! I love it! Please post more. NyC -----signature----- "We Earth Men have a talent for ruining big, beautiful things." ~ Master of padawanlost, Ultima_1 and Jedimaster_JainaSolo
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Solo_but_not_alone Registered: May '04	Date Posted: 7/23/04 9:05am Subject: RE: BOYS NIGHT OUT (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, adventure, action. Chp. 1)
	bacon
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PresidentKang Registered: Jun '04	Date Posted: 7/24/04 7:32pm Subject: RE: BOYS NIGHT OUT (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, adventure, action. Chp. 1) - Date Edited: 7/24/04 7:34pm (2 edits total) Edited By: PresidentKang
	leia_naberrie Upping this so I can find it later... Upping it AGAIN so you can find it! You think this is good you should read that OTHER one I got in my PM box for you. DarthIshtar The best part of this, other than "I have a bad feeling ab""ohshutup" is that everyone's so hilariously in character! Thanks. Actually I wanted to make sure that Han and Lando still stayed friendly even though they're at each other's throats most of the time. Lando thinking about selling out Han seems pretty natural for pre-ROTJ Lando. VadersMistress LMAO! That is hilarious! This was great. A very funny fic. Good job. Thank you, you also have a really awesome avatar. I still don't know who would win. Hulk smash, dammit! Speaking of SMASH there's gonna be some CHEWIE SMASH in the next one. Right at the beginning of the chapter. I promised action and there will be some, dammit. NYCitygurl This is a great fic!! I love it! Please post more. Thanks my lovely beta-reader-for-my-other-story-that-I'm-too-chicken-to-post-right-yet. I'll post more when I write more and I'll write more when...uh... soon. Solo_but_not_alone bacon -----signature----- "I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Star Wars Trivia Hostess Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 7/25/04 12:25pm Subject: RE: BOYS NIGHT OUT (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, adventure, action. Chp. 1)
	Yeah, that does seem about right. -----signature----- "You are some self-important encyclopedia with too much time on his hands. I will see to it personally that you are used for spare parts every time my speeder needs an overhaul. You and that overpriced forklift out there." ~Dr. Bel Maden
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PresidentKang Registered: Jun '04	Date Posted: 8/8/04 5:03pm Subject: Chap 2. non-beatread and self-edited. please be gentle. - Date Edited: 10/27/04 12:45pm (1 edits total) Edited By: PresidentKang
	---Chapter Two--- SEVEN HOURS EARLIER The ability of sentient lifeforms to try to scrape out a living in the most inhospitable regions of the galaxy is quite remarkable. As far as “inhospitable regions of the galaxy” go, Aviuria Minor wasn’t anywhere near the top ten worst planets to live on. It was, however, one of the ugliest. Grey skies, grey mountains, grey plants, the whole place just looked flat out drab. It was a planet that, if one was inclined to believe in such things, the creator of the galaxy had dabbled with it for a few fleeting moments, stood back, shook His head, muttered “ah, forget it” and then went off to busy Himself someplace more colourful. As a result the planet was just an unappealing afterthought in the Aviuria system. The entire world seemed to be compromised of skinny mountains that stabbed at the sky angrily. Not large and sweeping mountains, just row upon row of prickly grey fingers trying to pass themselves off as mountains. Anyone with a lick of sense flying into the atmosphere would taken one look at the unpleasant sight stretching out before their eyes, powered up their engines and turned right the hell around. Anyone except for Nixoin G. An entrepreneur of sorts he had already begun the colonization of three separate planets in under a dozen years. He seemed to be building franchises out of colonization projects across the galaxy. Pull in, start up a colony, jet out, and reap the benefits of the hardworking colonists who stayed behind. Nice scam if you had the time, but it took some hunting to find the proper worlds to settle on. Nixoin G. had become emboldened by his colonization successes. He took it as a challenge to take this embittered ugly world and make it a thriving centre for trade and commerce in this sector of the galaxy. It was a quest that he worked on diligently for 30 years, and all he had to show for it in the end was a single spaceport and a few run down businesses that operated out of it. Local legend had it that on his deathbed his final words were “Damned repulsive planet” and died angrily. The “Nixoin G. Spaceport of Hope” was what it was officially called. “Prickly Point” was what the spacers had named it. This was probably due to the fact that the spaceport had been plunked somewhat haphazardly on the top of the aforementioned dull grey mountains. Flying into the place most pilots were afraid to land, fearing that settling their ship down on it would send the entire spaceport careening down to the ground far below. But in 200 years of operation it hadn’t fallen off once. Sure, a pilot missed a landing once in awhile and smashed himself to bits on the mountains but, by Gods, the spaceport was going to stay. “Prickly Point” ended up being used as a holding spot for smuggled goods that were subsequently moved off to the Outer Rim Territories. It was a great hiding spot because even the Imperials didn’t want to deal with such an ugly place. Aviuria Minor was an unwatched blip in the galaxy, and a brief haven for smugglers before they moved onto greener (literally) pastures. Han thought it looked like the perfect spot to have some fun. Like many spaceports in the galaxy, the local businesses seemed to be primarily compromised of intoxicants, firearms and gambling. Not exactly a smart combination, but it gave the space crews something to do while their cargo was being unloaded. Which was the reason why Han felt anxious to get on the streets and start enjoying the local scenery. Subsequently, this was the reason why Han felt so annoyed at Lando for not moving fast enough. “Get it in gear!” Han yelled at Lando for what seemed like the umpteenth time in the past hour. Lando didn’t respond and was still hunting through his considerable wardrobe for the proper outfit to wear. Chewie sat in the lounge at the holochess board, playing a game against the computer. Good thing too, because he was doing badly. There was no one physically present for the Wookie to rip their arms off when he eventually lost. Han sidestepped another cargo droid that was busy picking up the smuggled goods. The cargo was being delivered to a holding cell deep within the bowels of the spaceport. For all Han cared it could rot there until the suns went nova. And, since he hadn’t heard of any plans to pick the cargo up anytime soon, there was a good chance it would. “Excuse me, Mister Solo,” a robotic voice called. Han looked down and saw Lando’s starburst shaped droid gazing up at him with its single red glowing eye. It bobbed up and down on its tentacled appendages eagerly. Han looked away quickly. Something about the droid’s design really messed with his spatial perception and starring at it too long gave him a headache. “What is it, Vuffi Raa?” Han sighed. Even though the droid had no facial expression (or even anything resembling a face) whatsoever it managed to convey anxiousness by rocking back and forth on its tentacles quickly. “The cargo droids will be done in a few hours. However I have to leave the ship unlocked for them to allow continual access. If anyone should attempt to do anything unsavoury with the Falcon itself this will most likely present significant problems.” Impatient foot tapping was Vuffi Raa’s only response. Solo was actually just starring at Lando’s cabin where the older smuggler was still looking for the right outfit. “Mister Solo-” Vuffi Raa began. “I heard you,” Han cut him off. He looked down at the droid (focusing himself to stare right at its single red eye so he had something stable to look at). “Look if anyone comes on the ship just use one of them fancy appendages you have to tie him up until we get back, ok? Can you do that at least?” The droid wasn’t built for shuddering but it tried anyway. “Oh no, Mister Solo. If you ask Master Lando he’ll tell you that I am quite incapable of any physical violence against a humanoid. Which is why I was hoping you would remember to keep a comm. link with the ship open at all times so I’ll be able to respond if anything goes even slightly awry.” Han was about to respond when a harsh snarl from Chewie cut him off. The Wookie was angrily gesturing at the chessboard and barring his fangs at the holocharacters. “Settle down, Chewie”, Han called over his shoulder. “There’s nobody for you to tear in half because you’re losing.” Wanna bet? was the Wookie’s response. Han chuckled to himself and then tuned back into what Vuffi Raa was actually saying. “-so you see Mister Solo if you keep the comm. link tuned at a lower frequency the signal should come in clearer and-” He waved the droid off. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. Keep an eye open and don’t stay out too late. Thanks, mom.” Vuffi Raa tried to keep up after Han, fretfully babbling something it thought was terribly important, but Han tuned him out easily. It was a useful trick that Solo had learned in the Imperial Academy to get through long lectures. Instead he went up to the door of Lando’s cabin and started pounding on it mercilessly. “Imperial customs inspection, open up!” The door slid open halfway and Lando poked his head out. “Can’t you at least wait until I’m decent?” “You’re decent now. Lets go,” Han said, chucking a thumb towards the Falcon’s exit ramp. “Ok, ok,” Lando sighed. “I just have to change one thing real quick.” SIX HOURS EARLIER “LANDO!” Han banged on the doorway of the cabin. “GET OUT OF THERE! LETS GO!” Finally, the door slid open and Lando stood there . . . wearing the exact same outfit he had on before. Han’s fingers twitched impulsively, mentally picturing them around Lando’s neck for a fleeting moment. “What . . . took you . . . so long?” Han spat out. With a flourish, Lando gestured to his boots. “New laces, it really brings out the colour of my shirt, don’t you think?” With a grin, he patted Han on the shoulder and strode towards the exit. Han just stood in the same spot, dumbfounded. “Hey Solo,” Lando called form the exit, “you gonna get moving soon?” Chewie’s mocking laughter rang in Han’s ears as long after he stomped off the Falcon. NOW The Gamorrean’s death gurgle rang in Chewie’s ears long after the Wookie had broken its neck. This was the third one that Chewie had killed ever since the Wookie had been captured and thrown in the ship’s brig. He had been separated from Han and Lando long before so he didn’t even know if they were alive or dead. The thought of not knowing what happened to the man to whom he owed a life debt made Chewbacca’s skin crawl. The Wookie’s legs gave out from under him and he slunk to the ground, falling down to his knees, exhausted. The Gamorreans hadn’t bothered to take out the corpses of their fallen brethren. So Chewie stared at them and dead eyes looked back in a slightly confused way. Perhaps their last thoughts had been “Hmmmm, why am I fighting this Wookie alone?” More accurately, for the three dead Gamorreans, their final thoughts were somewhere along the lines of “ARRRRGGGGHHHH!! IT HURTS!! WHY?!” etc. etc. The side of Chewbacca’s arm was bleeding profusely. The wound had first started with a minor scratch but the third Gamorrean had decided to use its tusks and the injury had just gotten worse. Most beings would have been desperately worried about blood loss, or would have tried to put together a makeshift tourniquet, or would be praying to their respective Gods for help. Chewie just grunted. None of the Gamorreans had said a thing. They never did. They just came in and attacked. Chewie figured they had never gone up against a real live Wookie before and they wanted to take a whack (literally) at fighting one. Well, obviously, he didn’t want to disappoint them. But even for a Wookie there was only a finite amount of strength he could draw upon. Even though he could take out three Gamorreans at once, they would eventually wear him down with a continual assault. It was simply a matter of time. But if Chewbacca had anything to say about it, it’d be a really long time until that happened. Chewie made a silent vow right there: he wouldn’t let the Gamorreans get the best of him. He would escape and he would find the man he owed a life debt to. If one thing Chewie had learned over the years, it was to never go out without a fight. The door to his cell snapped open and a blue stun bolt ripped into Chewie, knocking him back. The Gamorreans had done that each time to make sure Chewbaccaa didn’t run for the door while another one came in. The stun blast might have rendered a human unconscious, for a Wookie it simply made him dazed. However, a momentary distraction was all they needed to let another Gamorrean slip inside. The door banged shut behind him. This one apparently decided to even the odds a bit and had brought along a vibro-axe. The Gamorrean stood at near the end of the room, chopped its axe in the air and snarled, trying to goad the Wookie into a fight. Chewbacca got to his feet, barred his fangs, let out a roar, and charged the Gamorrean. The Gamorrean swung its axe back, aiming a deadly chop at Chewbacca’s head. Playtime had begun again. FIVE HOURS EARLIER “SABACC!” Lando yelled and threw down his cards in triumph. All smiles Land pulled in his credit chips, but, seeing the angry glares from the other card players, Lando keyed his jubilance down a bit. Watching the game discretely from a shadowy corner, a small grin tugged at the side of Han’s face. Sitting beside Han, Chewie growled about Lando’s prospects for continuing his game in full health. Han took a pull at his drink and said, “Nah, Lando’s smarter than that. He’ll lose a few hands just to calm ‘em down and then win on the important ones.” Chewie barked derisively about the possibility of that plan actually working out for the gambler. Han glanced over at the Wookie. “Hey, don’t knock it. I’ve seen him use the same strategy on you loads of times.” The Wookie hooted back, reminding Han of his own gambling misadventures when facing off against Lando. Solo just waved him off, “Yeah, yeah, so what? Like I’ll ever name my firstborn kid ‘Jacen’. I just said that to make him feel like he actually won something.” Chewbacca laughed back, but Han kept going. “I’m serious. Besides, what are the chances that the great Han Solo would ever want to settle down anyway? You’re barking up the wrong tree,” Chewie cut him off with a low growl. After years with Solo he had his fill of “barking” jokes. Han just chuckled and took another sip of his drink. “Ok, ok. You know what I mean, though. There’s no chance that a serial bachelor such as myself would ever find a woman-“ The statement hung in mid-air, because at that exact moment he noticed a beautiful woman sitting at the bar across from him. And she winked. It was as if a lightning bolt had just hit him right in his gut. Thankfully, this was a good one and not one of the bad ones that was rumored Emperor had at his disposal. The rest of the world faded out and all Han could see was the woman, grinning and turning back to her drink. Han immediately stood up as if in a daze. Chewie hooted at him, questioning where he was going. “I’m uhhhhh… drinks. That’s it,” Han stammered. “We need more drinks.” Chewie waved at the three untouched drinks on their table, but at that point Han was beyond hearing. He wasn’t the type to fall in love at first glace, far from it. However, he did immediately think of other things to do with his beautiful vision of a woman. He knew there was a reason why he’d been so choosy about finding the right bar in the spaceport. That was because, obviously, he subconsciously knew a gorgeous woman would be waiting here for him. And hell, she had winked at him so it was all fair play from this point on. Han swaggered up to the bar. Kind of pointless really considering how she was no longer looking in his direction, but he might as well keep up appearances anyway. She was sitting with her back turned and it gave Han a good look at her outfit. She was wearing a skin-tight black spacesuit (Han thanked the Gods every day those suits were in style with women across the galaxy) that showed all the right curves. She had short cut red hair that accentuated the softness of her face. And she had a blaster strapped to the side of her hip, very similar to the one that Han wore. That sealed it in his mind. This was destiny. This was Something That Was Meant To Be. Still swaggering, he snapped at the bartender to get his attention. “Barkeep!” Han pronounced loudly so she would hear. “Two drinks for me and my lovely ladyfriend here!” He casually leaned his elbow on the bar and turned to the woman. She looked up at him from her seat, a playful smile on her lips and amusement in her eyes. Han leaned towards here, “That is, if you’ll indulge me in the pleasure.” He started to build up a head of steam, “I couldn’t help but notice you from over at my seat and I said to myself ‘Self, that is one exotic-” “What drinks do ya want?” the bartender interrupted testily. Momentarily floored, Han looked back at the bartender. “Uhhh—” “Look,” the bartender grumbled. “I haven’t got time to play along with you. I’m busy. This is a bar. Traditionally, when you order a drink to have to specify what drink you want. Yah don’t just yell out ‘drinks!’ and expect me to know what to get you. I ain’t no mind reader over here.” “Uhhh—” Han wittily responded. “You flyboys come in here and expect just because I’m serving drinks that means I’m supposed to be your wingman,” the bartender rolled on. Apparently this topic had been gnawing on his mind for quite some time. “You’re trying to be all impressive but when you just say ‘drinks’ without specifying WHAT it is you actually want, you’re wasting my valuable time! You know, I could just have you thrown out-” “Two P.G.G. Blasters, please,” the woman interrupted. She gestured to Han, “I’m sorry for my friend’s presumptuousness. He’s just come from a yearlong sabbatical on a planet of telepaths and is still figuring out how to communicate verbally.” Han stood there looking silly until she kicked him gently in the shins to get him to play along. “Oh yeah!” Han perked up. “I’m sorry, honey,” Solo wrapped his arm around the woman, like they were old friends. “Its just all so new to me. I’m used to just thinking instead of talking out loud.” Han cupped his hands to the side of his mouth so his voice would project more. “TWO P.G.G. BLASTERS, PLEASE! THANK YOU!” Solo all but yelled. The bartender seemed to mull it over for a moment, then angrily turned away grumbling to himself. Han noticed the bartender also grabbed two of the dirtiest glasses to mix their drinks in, but intoxicants were the last thing on his mind. The woman looked at Han and said slowly, “You can take your arm off me now.” “Yeah, but I’m just getting comfortable,” Han quipped. She reached over and gently took his arm off her shoulder, but she left her hand on top of his, gently stroking it. The simple intimate gesture made the hairs on Han’s arm stand up. “Kiplo, the bartender, knows me. He’s rather surly to newcomers but once you get to know him you realize that he’s actually just downright nasty in general. But he does respect his steady customers.” “So I have you to thank that I wasn’t tossed out on my ear?” Han asked. “Well, you wouldn’t have been tossed out on your ear, most likely,” she teased back. She took a slip out of her straw. “But yes, Kiplo knows that me and my friends are here often. He doesn’t want to scare away repeat business.” Han gave her a mock-mournful look. “Your friends? Does that mean I won’t have you to myself?” She rolled her eyes and smirked again, “Maybe if you’re lucky,” she murmured into her drink. “But anyways, they aren’t here right now. I’m just waiting for them to get back from a bit of business.” Solo gestured to the smoky bar, its dank gambling tables and even shadier clientele. “Is that why a lovely lady such as yourself is in a sleazy establishment such as this?” The bartender took that moment to slap their drinks down in front of them. “I heard that,” he growled. There was an awkward silence as the bartender sulked off. A silence that was only broken by Lando’s lively cry of “SABACC!” in the background. Calrissian wasn’t playing it as smart as Han thought. The woman turned around and watched Lando rake in the credits. She crossed her legs and bopped one leg casually on top of the other. Just seeing that simple bouncing movement made it hard for Han to concentrate. She had great legs. She inclined her head towards Lando, “Your friend seems to be having a good time.” With an amazing display of willpower, Han tore his gaze away from her legs and looked over at Lando. “Yeah, well, he better make sure he doesn’t have too much fun.” She playfully hit Solo in the arm. “You big spoilsport,” she said lightly. “What do you have against fun?” He leaned back and crossed his arms, “Do I look like someone who doesn’t like to have fun?” he responded. “You answered my question with another question.” “Yeah, I’m mysterious like that,” he held up his hands and waggled his fingers in the air. Oooooohhhhh. Mystery!” She laughed loudly and Han actually winced a bit. She may be beautiful, but she had a honking laugh that sounded like a womp rat stuck in a speeder engine. Ah well, they can’t all be perfect. He decided to play it cool again. “Well, ‘honey’. You and me go way back, obviously. But I still haven’t quite gotten your name.” “Bejena,” she said, smiling that perfect smile and sipping on her drink. “My name is Bejena.” *** ((I told you to hold him still!)) Porrusk said aiming his blaster at the Rodian’s head. ((I’m trying to get off a clear shot here!)) The Gamorrean squeaked in protest. He had the risky job of holding the semi-conscious soon-to-be-victim up so Porrusk could get a shot off. The Gamorrean grunted again and waved the bloodied Rodian back and forth. The Rodian just groaned in response and his eyes rolled to the top his head. Another Gamorrean reached over and punched the Rodian in the stomach to wake him up. Porrusk was getting impatient. And considering how he was a Trandoshan, it generally wasn’t a good idea to get on his nerves. Considering how Porrusk was also blind stinking drunk at the time, it was an extremely bad idea to get on his nerves. And considering how the Rodian who was currently being held up like a doll had been the one to originally get on Porrusk’s nerves in the first place . . . it was an extremely bad situation all around. ((I SAID hold him still! Blast you to The Infernal!)) Porrusk yelled at his Gamorrean guards. ((I need to get some target practice in somehow.)) The Gamorrean squeaked back again, voicing his discomfort about the situation. ((I’m not going to shoot you if you just hold him still,)) Porrusk snarled back in his native Trandoshan tongue. ((Trust me, I’m a great shot with this. You’ll be fine.)) “I… will?” the semi-conscious Rodian stammered out. The other Gamorrean guard reached over and punched him in the stomach again, this time to get him to shut up. Controy on the other hand was nervously looking around. Sure, this was “Prickly Point” spaceport, the most backwater place you could be in the galaxy. Sure, they were in a secluded and abandoned part of town. Sure, they had picked a dark alley in which to do their business. But no matter how lax (or non-existent) law enforcement was on this spaceport, he was pretty sure that executing people wasn’t a way to get on the City Father’s good side. Which was why he wanted to get this over quickly. Controy was rather tall for a human so he was one of the few people who could see eye to eye with Porrusk. Porrusk wasn’t very good at seeing eye to eye at this moment because his eyes were too glazed over from heavy drinking. “Porrusk,” Controy said in his nasal whiny voice, “I know you’re having fun but this is taking too long.” The Trandoshan drunkenly waved his blaster around and Controy took a cautious step back. ((Then don’t rush me, human!)) Porrusk bellowed. ((I’m practicing here!)) The tall human let out a small sigh and stepped back. He hoped Porrusk would just hurry up already. The blaster wavered unsteadily in Porrusk’s hand. ((Alright mister,)) Porrusk said addressing the Rodian being held by the Gamorrean. Porrusk was too drunk to remember the Rodian’s name. ((Get ready to meet your Gods!)) Steadying his aim as well as he could, which wasn’t very, Porrusk fired and blew Gamorrean guard’s head clean off. The Gamorrean fell to the ground and so did the semi-conscious Rodian. ((I TOLD YOU TO HOLD HIM STILL!)) Porrusk yelled at the now-dead Gamorrean. Controy threw his hands up in the air. “Porrusk!” he cried. “That’s the third one!” Porrusk pointed the blaster at Controy in response but Controy didn’t mind. Porrusk waved a gun at him on a regular basis. ((Quiet human, if you know what’s good for you!)) Porrusk spat out. The drunken Trandoshan swayed erratically as he walked towards the Rodian lying on the ground. Controy took another step back. Making sure he didn’t miss this time, Porrusk put the muzzle of the weapon right against the Rodian’s temple. ((Stay away from my property,)) Porrusk snarled down at the Rodian. ((Bejena is mine)) And then he pulled the trigger. -----signature----- "I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."
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PresidentKang Registered: Jun '04	Date Posted: 8/8/04 11:16pm Subject: RE: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 2 up! Gamorreans do - Date Edited: 8/8/04 11:17pm (1 edits total) Edited By: PresidentKang
	well, I am outta here, folks! Hopefully someone will read this while I'm gone for about 10 days or so. I have great business to take care of overseas and MI6 is waiting for me. More funny violence, flirting, comedy, yelling, Gamorrean death, ship stealing, speeder chasing, ship crashing, wookie rage, shoot outs, drunken Trandoshans and lots of other stuff to follow. But for now, its gone time, baby. -----signature----- "I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."
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Solo_but_not_alone Registered: May '04	Date Posted: 8/11/04 1:27am Subject: RE: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 2 up! Gamorreans do
	Ohhh Magoo, you've done it again! I laughed myself silly on this installment! Not a far trip mind you, but it's the thought that counts. Great job Kang
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General_Karrde Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 10/28/04 10:43am Subject: RE: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 2 up! Gamorreans do
	Well done! I hope you come back to update this soon! Steadying his aim as well as he could, which wasn’t very, Porrusk fired and blew Gamorrean guard’s head clean off. The Gamorrean fell to the ground and so did the semi-conscious Rodian. ((I TOLD YOU TO HOLD HIM STILL!)) Porrusk yelled at the now-dead Gamorrean. Controy threw his hands up in the air. LOL!!! I was laughing so hard at this! -----signature----- "Sometimes I just get so mad i want to spit!" spits "Did you just spit in your helmet sir?" If everyone took an eye for an eye, soon the whole world would be blind
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