Jedi Council Forums - Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 3

Poof has a love-hate relationship with the Saga. On the one hand, it’s where he has his shinning moments as a Jedi Knight on the Jedi Council. On the other hand, he dies during the Saga era, and that wasn’t much fun at all.

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Author	Topic: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 3 - bar brawls & more)
GreatOne Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 10/29/04 9:09am Subject: RE: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 2 up! Gamorreans do
	Ahhh... I never did see chapter two! Great job! And POOR CHEWIE!!!
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PresidentKang Registered: Jun '04	Date Posted: 11/1/04 12:45am Subject: RE: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 2 up! Gamorreans do
	Hey rockon new readers! I thought this thread was long dead and got kind discouraged from doing it. and I'm about 75%-80% done chapter 3. will post soon. I kinda like posting once a month at least - think of it like a comic book. -----signature----- "I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."
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PresidentKang Registered: Jun '04	Date Posted: 11/13/04 1:18pm Subject: Chapter tois - Bar brawls, Droid abuse and an old friend revists us - Date Edited: 11/14/04 2:42pm (2 edits total) Edited By: PresidentKang
	--Chapter Three-- NOW The steady “drip-drip” of the moisture pipes leaking overhead had reached its 9234th consecutive “drip” by Han’s count. He was awaiting the 9235th consecutive “drip” when the door to the dingy holding cell snapped open. In strode the tall human, Han couldn’t help but think that was really starting to get annoyed with this guy. Gods knows he had given them enough grief when he was chasing Han and Lando dirtside on Prickly Point. Was he going to keep coming in at random intervals for the express purpose of gloating? If that was the case, Han was ready to ask the guy to just kill him now so he wouldn’t have to put up with it. But the tall human didn’t gloat. Or talk. Or say anything. He simply stood framed in the doorway and stared down at Han and Lando. Han stared back. Lando didn’t even bother; he just glared resolutely at a corner. A pair of Gammorreans shoved through the door and roughly yanked the duo to their feet. Han was mildly surprised to feel the pressure easing on his wrists when the Gammorreans removed the restraints that were binding Han and Lando together. Lando rubbed his right wrist gently, trying to restore circulation. “There goes my best dealing hand,” he muttered to himself. At that point the tall man took out a blaster. Han tensed his muscles. Dogging a blaster bolt was nigh impossible but he wasn’t going to let him shoot him down in cold blood. Lando set his jaw. Han didn’t know what was going through his friend’s mind right now and frankly, he didn’t really care. But the tall man didn’t shoot. Instead he held the blaster up for a moment, his arm wavering slightly. Then he tossed it casually onto the floor and it slid, spinning all the way, and came to a rest right at Han’s feet. “Pick it up,” the tall man grinned. He clasped his hands gently behind his back and rocked slightly on his heels. His tone was pleasant, even conversational. Han half expected him to start casually chatting about pod racing scores next. The gun stayed on the floor and Han made no move towards it. “No,” Han said slowly and deliberately. “Because I think you’re just playing a sick game and making up an excuse to kill me. ‘Killed while attempting to escape’ or some such nonsense.” The tall man arched his eyebrows slightly. “Come now, I wouldn’t need an excuse to do that.” Stony silence was his response. He sighed slightly, put his left hand over his heart and raised his right hand as if taking an oath. “I swear on my Jr. Imperial Do-Gooders Merit Badge that I won’t kill you if you try to pick up the blaster.” “I wasn’t a Jr. Imperial Do-Gooder,” Han spat back. He had always hated that other kids had a chance to play pretend in their childhood, running around collecting badges and thinking they were saviours of the galaxy under watchful parental supervision. All Han had in his childhood was hardship and working for various space-faring lowlifes. “I was,” Lando interjected helpfully. Han kicked Lando in the shins and shot him a dirty look. “Look,” the man said, still trying to sound pleasant. “I am asking you nicely to just pick up the blaster that’s conveniently lying at your feet. Doesn’t seem too hard, you think?” He rocked on his feet again. “Now if you don’t pick it up I might change my mind and kill you anyway.” Seeing no outs, and getting annoyed with the man’s constant taunting, Han decided to go for it. Even though a voice in the back of his mind was screaming Don’t do it, Solo! You’re walking right into it Han told his subconscious to shut the hell up and reached for the weapon. Neither Han nor Lando never saw the man pull out another blaster. The sound of the shot echoed violently through the holding cell. Solo had barely extended his arm when a smoking hole was suddenly in the floor, inches away from the blaster on the ground. The tall man theatrically twirled the blaster on his finger, shoved it back into his jacket and put his hands behind his back again. “Since we haven’t been properly introduced, my name is Controy and I’m an excellent shot,” he said, all trace of pleasantness gone from his voice. “I’m also escorting you to the bridge.” The unspoken implication was Don’t try anything or I’ll fry you in a half a second. With the demonstration over, Controy turned on his heels and walked out. The Gammorreans stomped back into the room and shoved Han and Lando roughly towards the door. On their way out, Lando rolled his eyes and jerked his head towards the direction the tall man went in. “Big showoff,” Lando muttered. “He didn’t tell you he had another blaster on him.” “Yeah,” Han agreed. “Dirty stinkin cheater.” FOUR HOURS EARLIER “I think he’s a dirty stinkin cheater,” the big ugly alien growled, its low voice tripping over pronunciation of Basic. Having not introduced itself to its fellow Sabbacc players, Lando had simply mentally designated the big ugly alien “Fluffy”. Lando turned to Fluffy and tapped the corner of one of his cards deliberately and in full view of all the other players. “You see this?” Lando said as he kept on the corner of his card. “If I had a skifter in this deck would I be doing this? Would I show that trick off?” “Maybe” mumbled the scruffy looking human a Lando’s right side. “You could be trying reverse psychology on all of us. Make us think you aren’t cheating but you really are.” The man had introduced himself to the group as “X”. Lando spotted the fake-out for what it is after 3 hands. “X” was obviously a terrible card player but he thought adding a sense of mystique to himself might unnerve the other players. So far it wasn’t working. ((Or maybe even Reverse-Reverse-Reverse psychology)) squeaked the Dug on Lando’s left hand side. ((Seem like he’s not cheating when he actually is, but he’s not, but he really is.)) “Really?” Lando asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He chewed on his cigarra, trying to look intimidating. Instead he accidentally swallowed a bit off the end and barely stopped himself from gagging at the table. “Look, I’m sorry if you’re all annoyed that I’ve won the last nine hands-” ((Ten)) the Dug corrected him. Lando looked down at his stack of winnings to verify that fact. “Ok, the last ten hands,” he admitted. “But I’m playing fair. Why don’t we just see how this next hand goes, ok?” A tense second passed but then the table collectively shrugged and went back to the game. Lando told himself that he would definitely bet big and lose this round. Quite the shame too considering he was looking down at a sure-fire win in the form of an Idiots Array. Across the smoky tavern Han was at the bar chatting it up with his newly acquired female friend, Bejena. He noticed that Chewbacca was still sitting in the booth keeping an eye on things. Chewie wouldn’t mind Han taking off unannounced, as long as the Wookie could see Han he was content. Right now, Han had more important things on his mind than his furry companion’s emotions anyway. “What was the name of your ship again?” Bejena said, interrupting Han’s thoughts. The downed the remainder of his drink in one gulp. “The Millenium Falcon,” he said, his voice sounding slightly rough from the drink. He coughed slightly to clear his throat. “Fastest ship those pretty little eyes of yours will ever see.” She rolled those pretty little eyes of hers indicate. “ ‘Fastest ship’, yeah now where have I heard that before. . .” She snapped her fingers as if remembering something and her face lit up. “Oh yeah! Now I know – from just about every single flyboy that I’ve ever met in my life.” She tucked her hair behind her ear and took a sip on her drink. “Here’s a hint: Try to think of something more original next time if you want to impress the ladies, ok?” The words may have been harsh but her tone was playful so Han decided to play right back at her. “No, its true!” he insisted. “My ship makes it to point four past lightspeed, I swear on Vallorum’s grave.” That wasn’t exactly the truth. The Falcon did make it to point four past lightspeed, however it wasn’t “his ship” in the strictest sense, it was Lando’s. He didn’t feel the need to correct that particular point. “Captain Solo” sounded more impressive than “Just-Tagging-Along-For-The-Ride Solo”. “Point four, eh?” she said. “That’s not so fast, I’ve heard of point fives.” “Have you heard of a point five hyperdrive that hasn’t blown itself up recently?” Han countered. “Point,” she admitted and she smiled. “So, about that ship of yours, what type is it? I’m kind of a spaceship aficionado myself.” Han was about to go into a litany of the specs of “his” ship, when a serving droid staggered over. It was staggering because its legs were clearly not the same legs that were built for its body. In fact, it looked like the legs of a “Gonk” droid had been welded onto the body of an ancient dented silver Protocol droid. The thing could barely walk but it could hold drinks, at least, and that was good enough for its owners. “Drink . . . l-l-l-like? Drinks?” sputtered the droid, its voice fluctuating between several octaves at once. The tray it held with its one remaining arm wobbled unsteadily. Han made a grab for a drink but when he pulled at it the glass remained steadfastly stuck to the tray. He made a pull again and the droid leaned towards him slightly, however the drink refused to come loose. “Please . . . . 3 cred- cred- its! Credits,” was the droid’s stammering reply. Cute, Han thought. The drinks are magnetically sealed to the tray unless you cough up the credits. Considering how dilapidated the battered droid was the magnetic seal on the glasses prevented unruly customers from just knocking it over and stealing drinks for free. 3 credit coins fell from Han’s hand onto the droid’s serving tray and the drink came loose. “Thankyou,” it said, rushing its words together. Han took a sip and looked the droid up and down. “What are you, some cobbled together relic left-over from the Clone Wars?” he asked with a hint of distain in his voice. The droid’s eyes flashed, went dim, and its shoulders slumped forward as if it had shut itself off. Han worried that the simple question had overloaded its circuits. Then suddenly the droid straightened up again. “I’m. I-ammmmmmm. I’m TC-14”, it said. “This way p-p-p-p-please.” TC-14 pivoted on its heel and staggered off. “The Ambassadors are . . . J-J-Jedi Knights, I believe,” TC-14 kept talking to itself as it walked away. “Send the droid. Oh, excuse me, please. Drinks!” Bejena watched the droid go with sadness in her eyes. She shook her head and knocked back her drink. “That Protocol droid’s seen better days,” Bejena remarked. “That protocol droid’s probably seen the Sith War,” Han countered. “Do you have droids on your ship, Captain?” Han scratched behind his neck, trying to look casual. “Oh, my friend has a droid,” Han said. “One of the ugliest damn droids you’ve ever seen, probably. Useless in the rough and rumble smuggling game, it shuts itself off whenever trouble happens.” She arched an eyebrow, “Is this a trait it picked up hanging around its owners?” Han held up his hands to his chest, mock hurt. “You truly wound me, madam. I laugh in the face of danger,” and he waved around the bar in an elaborate manner. “If any of these ruffians try to accost me, ha-ha-ha! Let them try!” She leaned towards him, “Well, if you think this bar sounds too dangerous we could always go to your ship and,” she paused and put her hand on his arm, “check out the Captain’s quarters.” Han really really really wanted to yell out “Lets roll, baby!” but he managed to restrain himself. Instead he just shrugged his shoulders, “Ok, let me just inform my crew that I’ll be leaving soon.” By “inform the crew” he really meant going over to Lando, quickly filling him in on the details and telling him to play along. Lando would probably just grunt and go back to his card game. That was all Han needed, really. He put his arm around Bejena’s shoulder and breathed into her ear, “Well, if you’ll just excuse me for a brief moment-” He didn’t finish the sentence because at that exact moment he felt himself being lifted off his feet and was face to face with a snarling Trandoshan. ((WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING, HUMAN?!)) the Trandoshan yelled and the stench of potent liquor filled Han’s nose. He tried not to gag and wasn’t quite successful. “Well, you see-” but once again he was cut off because then the Trandoshan punched Han in the stomach. Solo fell backwards, banged his head on the side of the bar, and went down to the ground in a heap with the world spinning around him. ((Kiplo!!)) the Trandoshan all but yelled. The Trandoshan reached over the bar, grabbed a bottle at random, jammed one of his teeth into the cork, spit it out of the side of his mouth, and began chugging straight from the bottle. Han tried to half sit up but the Trandoshan just slugged him, knocking Solo flat on his back again. ((Kiplo!! I need more drinks-)) That was all he got out. From Han’s vantage point on the floor a big, blurry, and brown form shot past overhead, howling all the way, and slammed into the Trandoshan. The howl from the brown blur confirmed Han’s suspicions – Chewbacca was to the rescue. The impact of Chewie into the Trandoshan shattered the wood of the bar and Chewie kept pumping his legs, rushing like a crazed Bantha. The Wookie jammed Trandoshan up against the middle portion of the bar and bottles smashed to the ground, glass flying everywhere. The snarling fangs of the Wookie opened wide and went down to the Trandoshan’s neck, intending to tear a good chunk off of it. The Trandoshan had other plans. He brought up his interlocked fists and punched hard against Chewie’s open mouth. Chewie’s jaws snapped shut and, for a moment, he faltered. It was the opening the Trandoshan needed as he again drove his fists underneath Chewbacca’s jaw. Chewie staggered back, disoriented, and the Trandoshan quickly advanced on him. The Trandoshan curled inwards, almost like an athlete getting ready to throw a Null-Grav Discus, and then unleashed a vicious backhand putting all his weight into one devastating thrust. The blow knocked the Wookie upwards and off his feet. Chewbacca sailed through the air in an almost graceful arc and landed directly in the middle of a nearby table, crushing it and sending its occupants scattering. One of these occupants was Lando Callrissian and he mentally cursed his bad luck. His gaze darted around, looking for any of his fallen winnings that might be lying on the floor. The snarl from the Trandoshan echoing throughout the bar convinced everyone it would be a pretty good idea leave at this point. Hastily and simultaneously, beings of all kinds ran towards the doors. Unfortunately, this caused a bit of a logjam and some customers took offence to that. Threats were made, mothers were cursed, punches were thrown and, in just under 15 seconds since Chewbacca had slammed into the Trandoshan, a full fledged bar brawl had erupted. Han staggered to his feet and tried to find Bejena in the mass of chaos. He didn’t see her anywhere, for all he knew she had darted for the doorway the second Chewbacca and the Trandoshan started thumping each other. Smart move on her part. “Han!” Lando’s voice yelled. Han looked around and saw Lando crawling towards him with a pile of credits in his arms. Before Han could ask what Lando was doing on the floor a rather surly looking Gran spun him around. The Gran was shaking Solo violently and sputtering in some alien language he didn’t know. “Look buddy, I’m not quite sure what you’re trying to tell me,” Han stammered, holding his hands up in supplication. He hoped that it was seen as a polite gesture among space-faring, bar-crawling, drunken Gran culture. Otherwise Han might end up with a vibroblade through his neck. The only response was the Gran violently shaking him again. This time the Gran decided to spit a little to emphasize its point, whatever that point was. “I can see you’re clearly, uh, perturbed…” Han drawled in what he hopped was a soothing voice. He was actually trying to buy some time as his hand probed at the edge of a nearby table. Han thought he might have heard the Gran yell something about “Flaming mynock droppings” but it was hard to tell. His fingers closed around a bottle. Han continued talking smoothly, “And I think you should—” Then he raised the bottle and smashed it over the Gran’s head. The Gran went down in a lump on the ground. “Have a drink!” Solo finished. Lando stood up beside him, admiring Solo’s handiwork. “Nice move,” he appraised. “Saw it coming from a parsec away, but a nice move nonetheless.” “Hey, sometimes the classics are the best,” Han quipped with a lopsided grin. They both leaned back at the same time to dodge a flying chair. Han jerked a thumb, indicating the pile of credits in Lando’s arms. “What’s with that?” If Lando could snuggle money, he would have. “My Sabacc winnings,” he said lovingly. “Han, old buddy, we’re gonna eat good tonight!” “Assuming we make it out of here alive, that is,” Han pointed out. “Speaking of alive—” A Wookie roar cut through their conversation. The duo looked and saw that Chewie had the Trandoshan held over his head. “At least Chewie is having some fun,” Lando remarked. Chewie wasn’t really having “fun” in the regular sense of the term. But he was certainly worked up. Both of his arms were waving the Trandoshan back and forth like a trophy. His opponent was far from helpless and started slashing downwards with its razor-sharp claws. Chewie got kind of annoyed about that, so he shifted his grip around the Trandoshan’s legs. He started swinging the Trandoshan around in a circle and then let him fly. The Trandoshan flew through the air and stopped when it slammed full-bore into an unlucky serving droid who got in his way. TC-14 let out a high-pitched electronic yell of “The Ambassadors are Jedi Kni-”, crumpled under the impact, shattered to pieces, and never served drinks again. Throw a regular being into a Protocol droid and the shock of the impact, along with any flowing energy being discharged from the droid’s dying power circuits, would probably kill them. This was Chewie’s plan and it seemed to work fine. The Trandoshan arced its back as energy flowed along his body and he howled in pain. Then it convulsions were suddenly over. Smoke and the stink of charred meat filled the air. Chewbacca turned away, thinking the fight was over, and started hobbling towards Han and Lando cradling his newly wounded arm. He stopped when he sensed movement behind him. When he turned around the Wookie was stunned to see the Trandoshan slowly getting to his feet. The Trandoshan rolled its neck and cracked a few kinks out. ((That ticked)), the Trandoshan growled. “Oh Hell,” Han muttered. *** Being second-in-command to a drunken Trandoshan did have its perks but at this particular moment Controy found it hard to name a single one. He was waiting outside Kiplo’s bar with two Gammorean guards, but he really just wished they were onboard the Bloodlust already. They had spent far too much time on this planet already and had knocked off a few too many of the locals for their stay to last much longer. But Porrsuk had insisted going in himself to pick up Bejena. Insisted repeatedly, actually, while pointing the blaster in the general direction of Controy’s head. Controy knew that Porrusk was actually intending to get a few drinks while he was in there, but he hoped things would stay relatively calm. His hopes were dashed when the doors to Kiplo’s bar flew open and a mob of sentient beings rushed out. He and the Gammoreans were caught in the middle of the tide and barely managed being crushed in the onslaught. A few well-placed elbows kept Controy from being completely swept along with the crowd. About five seconds later it was all over, and a mob of former bar patrons were scurrying down the roads of Prickly Point to safety. Controy dusted himself off and snarled “What the HELL was that all about?” to the Gammoreans. Being Gammoreans they just grunted stupidly, as they usually did. He decided to ignore it and instead asked “Did either of you see Porrusk or Bejena in that mess?” Being Gammoreans they just grunted stupidly, as they usually did. He took a deep breath, counted to five, and then slapped a fresh blaster pack in his rifle. He jerked his head towards the open doorway, “C’mon, lets go check on Porrusk.” *** Traveling the spaceways and various planets, Han and Lando had seen a lot of strange stuff in their day. However, neither of them had ever seen someone use the severed head of a protocol droid as a blunt instrument to break another beings’ nose. Chewie was making good use of that technique, to both Han and Lando’s surprise. When the Trandoshan had gotten up, the fight between him and Chewie had kicked into high gear. Suddenly anything and everything within reach was being used as weapons: tables, chairs, droids, other bar patrons and the like. The fight between the two beings had gotten so intense eventually the entire bar realized almost at once they should get the hell out of there. In a hearbeat all the customers had cleared out en masse, except for Lando, Han and the two combatants. That suited Chewie and the Trandoshan just fine because it gave them more room to break stuff. Han and Lando decided to hang back and not get in the middle, lest they be ripped to shreds. Chewie had picked up a table and jabbed it in the Trandoshan’s gut, knocking him to the ground. The Wookie was currently straddled on top of the Trandoshan’s chest and was smashing TC-14’s decapitated droid head into his opponent’s face. Repeatedly. And hard. The Trandoshan had a good grip on Chewie’s shoulders, but the Wookie just bashed the droid head against the Trandoshan’s jaw another time. “Thirteen,” Han counted. Bash. “Fourteen,” Lando counted. Bash. “Fifteen,” Han counted. Bash. “How many times do you think Chewie is going to have to hit him in the mug with that droid’s head till he’s down for the count?” Lando asked. Bash. “I’m saying twenty-six,” Han guessed. Bash. “Make that twenty-seven.” Bash. “I’m saying an even thirty,” Lando countered. Bash. “Five credits to the winner?” Han asked hopefully. Bash. “Ten credits, don’t be cheap now, Solo.” Bash. “Done,” Han said and then both shook hands never taking their eyes off the increasingly violent display. At the twenty-fifth smash of the droid’s head into the Trandoshan’s face Han yelled “C’mon, Chewie! Stop playing around and knock him out!” “Just give him a little more to make sure!” Lando yelled afterwards. Chewbacca didn’t respond, he just kept wailing on the Trandoshan. It was having an effect; his opponent’s arms were starting to slowly fall down to his side. For Han’s ten credits at stake, it wasn’t happening fast enough. What happened next certainly went by quickly, though. Out of the corner of his eye, Han saw the door to the bar open up. He half turned his head and saw a trio of beings standing in the doorway. He saw the glint of a virbo-axe and a blaster barrel shine in the light. Han yelled out “Chewie, get down!” and he simultaneously pushed Lando to the ground, drawing his blaster as he fell. Chewbacca, having trusted Han with his life for years, rolled over immediately along the floor away from the Trandoshan. Chewie felt the hairs along the side of his head singe as a blaster bolt scarcely missed by inches. Han shot blindly in the direction of the newcomers and they scattered behind an upturned table for cover. “C’mon, lets move!” Han yelled and he practically dragged Lando towards Chewie, firing over his shoulder as they ran. Chewbacca dived behind a Deathstick dispenser and knocked it on its side, staying low to the ground. Seconds later, Han and Lando had joined him. An uncertain silence settled over the trashed bar. Han kept his back up against the barricade and his blaster held tightly in his upraised hands. Chewie hooted softly and unhooked his crossbow, slapping in a new pack. Lando fumbled for his blaster, dropped it on the floor, and then hastily picked it up again sheepishly muttering “Sorry…” “Porrusk!” a human voice cried out. “Are you ok?” There was a short pause and then the Trandoshan’s voice weakly filtered back. ((Yeah . . . just give me a moment.)) Han peeked around the corner of the upturned vending machine and saw the Trandoshan, now identified as Porrusk, stagger to his feet. Porrusk stretched his claws and rubbed the side of his face, blood pouring freely out of his snout. The Trandoshan reacted to seeing the blood on his fingers and sniffed it experimentally, as if trying to confirm if that was indeed his own blood. Porrusk directed his head towards the ceiling so everyone could hear his voice. ((Hey Wookie!)) he yelled. ((That was a nice move with the droid’s head. Cheap, but nice. Why don’t you come out and we can finish it off?)) Chewbacca snarled back a phrase that did get much usage in polite society. Porrsuk whipped around towards the source and Han ducked back under cover. “Porrusk,” the human voice called again, keeping his tone level. “We should be leaving. Now. We’ve caused enough trouble on this dirtball as it is.” The Trandoshan acted as if he hadn’t even heard him. ((So, Wookie, what about that human you rushed in to save, what’s his name?)) Porrusk raised his voice and Han heard him stomping around, upturning a few tables for effect. ((C’mon human, I know you’re in here cowering in a corner with your Wookie bodyguard.)) “I’m not cowering!” Han pointed out, trying to buy some time. “I’ve merely retreated to a safely confined space to avoid getting shot at.” He heard the snort of a laugh. ((Semantics,)) Porrusk said. Han afforded another glace around the barrier to see Porrusk had again gone over to the remains of the bar. He picked an unbroken bottle off the ground and began drinking from it. ((Why don’t you boys come out and join me for a drink? That’s why we’re here in the first place anyway, correct?)) He paused and took another swig from the bottle. ((Of course)) and then his voice took on a more sinister tone, ((you had other things in mind, didn’t you human?)) “Porrusk we have to leave NOW!” the man’s voice called again. “The authorities-” Han saw the Trandoshan angrily throw the bottle in the direction of the man’s voice. Porrusk then slammed his fist against the bar, denting it. ((To blazes with the authorities!)) he yelled. ((That human was fraternizing with Bejena, trying to steal her away from me! I demand retribution! Against the human! Against the Wookie! And against the other human as well!)) “Hey!” Lando yelled out loud. “What did I do?” ((Guilt by association,)) Porrsuk spat. ((I saw you standing with the other human.)) “Would it help if I told you I’ve never met these two before in my life?” ((No.)) “Sithspit,” Lando whispered to himself. Porrusk had worked up a good drunken steam by now. ((All three of them will pay!)) he howled, addressing everyone within earshot. ((Bring the authorities! I care not! No vague threat of local law enforcement is going to prevent me feeling their teeth at my throat!)) Han thought at that particular moment things couldn’t get any more hopeless. About five seconds later he was proved wrong when the northside wall of the bar blew up and a dozen armoured officers came pouring in with their blasters firing. NOW Vuffi Raa was in quite a state. To be specific, the state in question was completely powered off. Vuffi Raa had a tendency to shut himself down in moments of extreme stress to avoid acts of violence. This had been three hours earlier, and so he sat, unnoticed and undisturbed, in a dark corner of the Millennium Falcon. Eventually the red light at his centre began to glow, his tentacled arms unfurled themselves and he bobbed into a standing position. His last “thoughts” were of someone breaking into the Falcon, threats of violence, and then blackness. He assumed the “blackness” was his fault. He had done it to himself before when violence seemed inevitable. The intruder had, apparently, simply left him there and not wasted another moment on the droid’s odd reaction. The Flacon itself was powered down. But he immediately sensed the thrum of hyperspace engines and knew the Falcon itself was most likely in the hangar onboard another ship. Which meant he was alone, and with no idea what happened to Han, Chewbacca or Master Lando. While its debatable if droids actually have emotions, if anyone was watching Vuffi Raa right now they would have instantly noticed his reaction: blind panic. The droid bobbed up and down worriedly on its tentacles and muttered “Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear” to himself for a long time. After doing this for awhile, he started to make his way towards the Falcon’s exit ramp. But just as a tentacle reached for the hatch controls, he immediately retracted it, and then began to bob up and down again muttering “Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear” to himself for a long time. This pattern repeated itself for a time until Vuffi Raa finally mustered up the courage to actually open the ramp. When the ramp hit the floor of the cargo hold, the reverberating CLANG made Vuffi Raa think he was going to be discovered immediately. So he scuttled away to a darkened corner of the Falcon’s main lounge and muttered “Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear”. Quite awhile afterwards, Vuffi Raa emerged into the hangar where the Falcon was being kept. It wasn’t a large hangar but it was empty, save for the Falcon and a few ship components scattered around haphazardly. His movements on the floor echoed as he crept along and his red-eye swivelled around in a paranoid manner. He was completely convinced that at any moment beings meaning to do him harm would burst in suddenly, disassemble him on the spot, and leave pieces of him as spare parts on the floor. Fortunately this didn’t happen and he managed to make it to a nearby computer terminal in one piece. Priorities: find out just where in the galaxy he was and what happened to Master Lando. He extended a tentacle and jacked into the computer terminal. Raw data flowed over his electronic synapses. He dove into it eagerly, searching for critical information. Apparently the ship’s name was Bloodlust of the Insane Hunter. When he discovered that, Vuffi Raa felt an urge to disengage himself immediately and go hide in a corner somewhere. But he bravely ploughed onward. The Bloodlust had about 20 different registry numbers, all of them falsified. This pretty much confirmed Vuffi Raa’s original feeling: wherever he was, it wasn’t good. The ship’s captain’s name was “Porrusk”, but for all he knew that could have been a fake as well. He searched the ship’s logs, which where heavily encrypted so it didn’t make things any easier. There were large gaps in entries, sometimes over months with a few scraps here and there. Whoever was in charge of keeping regular log data didn’t do a very good job. Even though Vuffi Raa could only make out small portion, the final few entries jumped out at him. The pieces sent a jolt of excitement through his electronic brain. Something about “Wookie . . . pair of humans . . . confined to-” The data stream suddenly was cut and Vuffi Raa realized that he was being pulled away from the computer terminal. He then realized the being that was pulling him away from the computer terminal was a Gammorrean. And he had brought friends. “No, please! Don’t!” Vuffi Raa begged to the trio of unruly aliens. The Gammorrean wasn’t listening and held Vuffi Raa up easily by one of his tentacles. The Gammorrean shook him and grunted in its own language. Most species found it hard to understand Gammorrean in general, but being a droid, Vuffi Raa understood easily. However, hearing what they had to say he almost wished he hadn’t. ((Why droid here?!)) the Gammorrean holding him demanded. He shook Vuffi Raa again and pushed his snout right in front of Vuffi Raa’s eye. ((Bad droid no be here! Droid be somewhere else!)) ((Smash droid for being bad)), another Gammorrean said gleefully, caressing its axe seductively. ((Smash droid)) agreed another. ((Bad. Smash. No more bad droid.)) “Oh please, no! I beg of you!” Vuffi Raa cried. He willed himself not to shut down, sensing that if he did he wouldn’t power up ever again. ((Smash droid)) the Gammorrean repeated again, this time with more intensity. ((No!)) the Gammorrean holding Vuffi Raa declared. ((No smash droid. If smash droid, Porrusk smash us!)) This Gammorreean was apparently the intellectual of the group. ((But smashing droids fun,)) another Gammorrean pointed out logically. This made the Gammorrean pause. He held Vuffi Raa up higher and examined the droid from all angles as Vuffi Raa kept pleading for mercy. ((Yessssss…)) the Gammorrean drawled out. ((Smashing bad droids is fun.)) Just as Vuffi Raa was ready make peace with his Makers (whoever they were) the lead Gammorrean had a sudden change of heart, or whatever passed for heart in his species. ((No smash!)) he repeated firmly. ((Porrusk mad if we smash. Put droid back where belong.)) “But I don’t belong here!” Vuffi Raa cried. However the trio of Gammoreans weren’t listening, and the other two actually looked severely disappointed. Despite all his protests, Vuffi Raa found himself being dragged quickly out of the hangar and into the ship’s corridors. “Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear,” he repeated over and over. No matter what he said, the Gammorreans didn’t listen. Durring a rather pathetic spiel of pleading by Vuffi Raa, one of them growled at him in a threatening manner and then his protests suddenly were muted. Doors flashed by rapidly and he didn’t get a good look at his surroundings. Not that he really tried, he was too busy worrying to notice where they were taking him. The Gammorreans stopped at a large door and another one punched in a sequence into a nearby keypad. The doors groaned open and the lead Gammorrean unceremoniously threw him inside. ((Go work, bad droid)) he said and the door rumbled shut. Vuffi Raa’s red eye couldn’t obviously widen in horror, but if he could have it would. He was inside a large chamber, much larger than the ship’s hangar. He had a sneaking suspicion that this was the ship’s primary hangar and where the Falcon was being kept was merely a backup. This room was large enough to fit several Falcons side by side with a few Y-Wings to spare. But there wouldn’t have been space for any other ships in here. The room was instead filled with spice. Illegal spice traded on the spaceways. Mounds of it, piled high to the ceiling. Spice as far as Vuffi Raa could see. Everywhere there were droids. Mostly astro-droids, but he saw a few others types mixed in there. They were all in various states of disrepair and not a single one was in as good condition as Vuffi Raa. Considering how Vuffi Raa was a fairly banged up droid to begin with, that was saying something. He even noticed a few unmoving droids lying half-buried in mounds of spice, with their casings opened up and circuits ripped out. One poor green R4 unit was just spinning mindlessly in a corner twittering to itself. And all the droids were working on the same task: organizing and collecting spice. A small child-sized PS-X5 model, slightly bigger than a mouse droid, clomped past Vuffi Raa. The PS-X5 turned and looked at him. One of the droid’s photoreceptors was burned out. Its shoulders were slumped and in its tiny hands it held a pile of gittersum spice. “Welcome to Spice Heaven,” the droid beeped sadly. “Enjoy your stay. You’re going to be here for a long time.” Vuffi Raa responded with what he thought was the most appropriate response to the situation. “Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear . . .” -----signature----- "I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."
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PresidentKang Registered: Jun '04	Date Posted: 11/13/04 8:32pm Subject: RE: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 3 - a very special ca
	Yes it was a very long dark time in between installments, but I tried my best after suffering through Lack-of-Readers malaise. I'll try to get chapter 4 up in at least half the time it took to go from chapter 2 to chapter 3. assuming anyone's around to read it, tis. :/ -----signature----- "I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."
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General_Karrde Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 11/15/04 10:50am Subject: RE: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 3 - a very special ca
	Nicely done! Thanks for the PM! Chewie is so cool! Great description of the bar fight! -----signature----- "Sometimes I just get so mad i want to spit!" spits "Did you just spit in your helmet sir?" If everyone took an eye for an eye, soon the whole world would be blind
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LukesTheMan Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 11/15/04 3:19pm Subject: RE: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 3 - a very special ca
	A great chapter! Hilarious! -----signature----- Of Metal and Flesh http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/19859245 Empty Vessel http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/19744934 Proud Master to Annika_Skywalker
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GreatOne Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 11/15/04 3:46pm Subject: RE: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 3 - a very special ca
	Great chapter. I'm reading! Poor Han.... he does manage to get into deep doo-doo all the time. And he just wanted to have a little fun!
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PresidentKang Registered: Jun '04	Date Posted: 11/16/04 7:29pm Subject: RE: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 3 - a very special ca
	General_Karrde Thanks alot, its hard to keep things up on the main page so I PM'ed a few ppl to notify, hopefully not that annoying. I dug the bar fight myself, I tried to get some crazy action in there. The happless fate of TC-14 gave me a chuckle. (hey, you didn't see him buy it in Phantom Menace, its possible he survived the Battle of Naboo and ending up as a serving droid. It could happen. Heck, Darth Vader built C-3PO!) LukesTheMan Thank you very much, I likey the comedy but I like mixing it up with the action as well. Try for more of the same in the next chapter. Anyway, I liked putting Vuffi Raa into droid slavery, I thought that was nice mean thing to do. GreatOne Glad to see you're reading it, hard to plug away when you're not sure you have an audience. Anyway, yah, Han is getting into lots of trouble, suffice it to say by the end he'll just wish that he had stayed onboard instead of actually leaving the ship. damn, I'm mean. Its fun, though. horray for tortuing characters! -----signature----- "I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."
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VadersMistress Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 11/21/04 3:51pm Subject: RE: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 3 - bar brawls & more
	Great story! And of course an amazing update. Sorry this is so late, DRL is rather annoying. -----signature----- And what it all comes down to is that I haven't got it figured out just yet. Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. Persia pwns your face.
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kyp_durron_fan_2009 Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 12/11/04 7:15am Subject: RE: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 3 - bar brawls & more
	Thought I'd wonder over from Bacon Madness!!! I have not had time to read the whole story but what i did read is very good. PresidentKang, did you get kidnapped by the Sith or something...no one's around... -----signature----- Currently Reading: Droids Omnibus and Night of the Wolves
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VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 12/11/04 3:08pm Subject: RE: Boys Night Out (Han, Lando, Chewie. Pre-ANH. Humor, action, craziness. CH. 3 - bar brawls & more
	How did I miss this? And why did my daughter not make sure I saw it? This was hilarious! I loved it, all of it! Bravo! -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. Army Mom! HOOAH! Adopt a soldier: http://soldiersangels.org/
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