Jedi Council Forums - Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated July 28, 2006)

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Author	Topic: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated July 28, 2006)
Owe-me-one Perogi Registered: Jun '00	Date Posted: 1/27/05 1:51pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic started Jan. 24)
	-----signature----- -A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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Pallas-Athena Title: TFN Fan Fiction Archive Editor Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 1/29/05 8:37pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic started Jan. 24) - Date Edited: 1/31/05 8:16pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Pallas-Athena
	oba: Will edit again with more in-depth feedback, have no fear. I'm holding you to that, missy But ... wow. I like how you're doing this. I didn't want to just tell one story, because so much happens to them. But I didn't want to be stuck writing 100s of pages of subplots just so we could see the more interesting moments of their lives. So it's almost like a bunch of viggies. I was wondering how exactly you'd go along with the AUness, but also talking about their first meeting and whatnot. Yeah, I think my explaining was probably a lot more complex than the actual result of the flashback-ness of it. And Daven - interesting difference in how you describe him. In the first part, he's very cold to others, but warm and loving to Nyssa. Yeah, I think he's had to adapt to a very un-Jedi like lifestyle (as we'll see later) and it's just easier for him to let go of that all-compassionate Jedi trait and focus on loving those closest to him. (And 14 years? shock ) Well, it's been a loving marriage, but at times very ... adventurous Then we skip backwards, and we see Daven, fresh and raw from the Temple being destroyed, from being hunted and alone I know. poor baby! But Nyssa is gonna be there to keep him company soon Kerebear: Thanks! mixza: Just found this! I usually don't read Jedi Purge fics, but I really like this one. Thanks! Yep, purge ficcys are most depressing, but at least this one kinda goes into a happy AU-ness AnakinsHeir: I can't wait to see what you have in store for us. heehee, fun stuff, I assure you! On with the very flirty fighting ... ***** The First Meeting - Part Two Full power. Good, Nyssa thought after a quick check of her array-firing blaster pistol – an immaculate weapon well worth the price she had paid for it. Or at least she hoped it would prove itself to be today. The quaint little cantina was one of the few places left open on this ice ball, so she knew she would spot him heading there eventually. And like an omen coming to pass, he did – she couldn’t mistake that red hair and those robes even from across the street. While she wondered why he hadn’t dyed it, she was glad he was so easy to pick out of a crowd. Although a Jedi often could be deciphered by his walk or mannerisms, Nyssa was the type to rely on more foolproof methods. She walked through the door, ignoring the glances and salivations of several males hanging around the bar. She was wearing a tight-fitting combat suit, gray in color. It was formed perfectly to every curve of her figure and she certainly knew that men easily found her attractive. While she often used that simple fact to her advantage, she doubted such things would work on a Jedi. Still, the combat suit served as light armor and its design allowed for completely free movement. Even in the cold, it was useful. “Hey there, sweetheart,” the barkeep said, lust lining his voice. “Something I can help ya with?” Nyssa smirked and walked up to him, leaning against the counter and knowing full well that half the cantina was currently staring at her backside. “You’ve seen this man?” she asked after flipping on a holopic. The flirtatious look instantly disappeared from the barkeep’s face and he nodded sharply, pointing to a booth in the back of the cantina. Nyssa followed his finger and recognized the same figure she had seen enter. “Thanks.” She pulled away, aware that all those same men now had nervous fear racing across their expressions, and started toward that back booth. “Hey, wait,” the barkeep shouted. “For paying customers only … the, ah, weather, you see.” He gulped harshly and she turned back to face him. “Oh, really?” she snorted. “Well, here” – she pulled a full credit pouch off her belt and threw it on the bar in front of him – “that should be enough to buy any drink in stock. With a little left over to help pay for the mess I’m about to make. Just stay out of my way, got it?” “Yeah.” “Good,” she hissed, annoyed that the man would bother to try to stop her. She turned towards her prey, walking slowly to size him up first. He was eating some sort of sandwich, near as she could tell, and was surprisingly fierce about it – shoving the food into his mouth and licking his fingers in between bites. She hadn’t expected a Jedi to be so lacking in manners. She moved closer, as close as she had even been to him up until this point, and stopped short, shocked. Gods, he’s just a kid, she thought, her eyes widening. The Jedi didn’t look a day over twenty-three – half the age his warrant had proclaimed him to be and just a few years younger than she herself was. She pulled out the holopic once more, understanding now that this wasn’t a pic out of some old archive, but a recent one, probably from the military database. The error immediately made sense to her because the Emperor, upon attaining complete control of the Republic government, had insisted that the galactic dating system reflect the change to the New Order. The day that Palpatine took the throne was the first day of Year One. Now it was the end of Year One or perhaps the beginning of Two; Nyssa, like every other being in the galaxy, had trouble keeping track. The computers also had trouble and made countless little errors in dating. Most were caught, but the case of Daven Staver must have slipped through. Of course, he was only one lowly Jedi Knight – a rank that Nyssa hadn’t been too impressed with when she thought it referred to a forty-three year old human. But now she was more than a little amazed; someone his age should still be a Padawan. Oh, well, his youth would equal inexperience and an inexperienced target would make for an easier catch. She crossed the last few steps towards him and paused at his table. He looked up at her, staring directly into her eyes, and appeared to be puzzling out why she was there. Nyssa found herself holding her breath. Could nothing go as she thought it would? Not only was he in the prime of his youth, but he was also the single most gorgeous man Nyssa had ever seen. His eyes were about five shades bluer than on the pic and his soft, round features looked less effeminate than she imagined they would. Instead, he appeared calm and intelligent despite his obvious youth, very much the stoic Jedi. “Um, I’m sorry,” he spoke, jarring her out of her reverie even as he had the voice to match his looks. “You’re a very beautiful woman, but I’m not interested. Never mind that I don’t have the credits.” Her eyes instantly narrowed. So he was arrogant as well. She sat down across the booth’s table from him and pressed her lips into a thin line. His gaze followed her movements; confusion was evident in his expression. “Hey, beautiful, I’m not interested,” he said again. “Don’t you understand Basic?” Nyssa nearly let out a growl as she pulled a datapad from her vest pocket. She sat it down roughly on the table and the execution warrant for one Daven Staver appeared as a tiny holo. “Do I look like a prostitute to you, Jedi?” she asked bitterly, raising her eyebrow. His eyes widened in understanding and he glanced back up at her, blinking once as if incredulous. Then, to Nyssa’s disbelief, he leaned back in his chair and picked up another bite of food. “Sort of, yeah,” he responded with a shrug and continued eating. No fear in his eyes, no panic. Hell, not even a slight hint of worry. “I mean,” he said, mouth nearly full of food, “you don’t wear the makeup, but walking around in that outfit when it’s below freezing outside? Yeah, you do.” He took a large drink from his glass of water. Nyssa was so angry she could swear she was starting to see red. Her mouth was slightly open from the shock of his reaction, but she wasn’t about to let herself sit there, dumbfounded. She pulled out her blaster and, keeping it under the table, pressed the barrel against his left knee. She saw a visible pause in his chewing. “How many prostitutes have you had that carry blaster pistols?” She smirked. “Well, none to be sure,” he said, setting down his glass, “but, to be fair, I’ve never ‘had’ any sort of woman, so it isn’t a very good comparison.” He shoved another bite of sandwich in his mouth. “As much as I find your sexual preferences or lack thereof absolutely fascinating,” Nyssa hissed, “I have to ask: are you aware that I’m here to kill you?” “At the moment, the worst you can do is blow out my kneecap,” he reminded her. She moved the blaster slightly left, aiming directly for the Jedi’s crotch. “And now?” “I could live with less,” he grunted. “I haven’t eaten in three days. I’ll take the chance, beautiful.” “My name is not ‘beautiful,’ Jedi.” “And mine’s not ‘Jedi,’ it’s Daven,” he answered coolly. “But you already know that. What’s yours, if I may be so blessed to know?” “Jade,” she hissed, her tone equally icy. This wasn’t going anywhere near where she thought it would. “Jade? What? Did your mother hate you?” She nearly squeezed the trigger. Almost. “Nyssa. Nyssa Jade.” She was becoming frustrated. What was wrong with this man? She was about to kill him; didn’t he care? “Nyssa,” he repeated thoughtfully. “I like it. Very pretty.” “Are you insane?” she finally blurted out. “Well, we’re about to find out, aren’t we?” His grin was wide. She realized her mistake a half second later. He was, in fact, not insane. Far from it. He had just taken the last few minutes to size up her personality, her preferred fighting style, and her breaking point, all while confusing her to such a point that she had no hope of knowing how in depth an escape he had just devised. But she had no time to chastise her own stupidity. The table flew against her, aiming to smash her against the bench’s back. She slid down, falling to the floor underneath, without a millimeter of extra space between her face and the table’s edge as she went down. She forced herself into a crouch and managed to grab Daven’s leg as he was trying to flee. He tripped and fell with a small groan. His head flew back to glare at her, and she allowed herself a satisfied smirk. Not going to be so easy, Jedi. He answered her with a sharp kick aimed directly at her face. She moved back quickly, letting go of his leg, and avoided the brunt of the attack. She imagined, however, that her cheek would be swollen when she woke up tomorrow morning, if she managed to live long enough to go to sleep tonight. Daven was running again, heading towards the exit. Nyssa rose to her feet, shaking the pain away, and fired a series of shots in his general direction. She saw his head bob down as he ducked away from the blasts. The cantina went into a frenzy of shouts and screams from the various patrons. Nyssa stopped her firing when the haze in the room became too thick to see through and looked for red. He had landed somewhere near the bar. “You know, Nyssa,” she heard him yell, “I’m beginning to think you’re the insane one. There are innocent people in here. Why don’t we take this outside?” “Yes, outside!” came the barkeep’s frightened voice. He was most likely hiding behind the barkeep’s counter. She headed towards it, blaster raised and arms fully extended. A woman, probably one of the prostitutes Daven had in mind, started to weep as Nyssa passed. Nyssa wanted to roll her eyes. “Not my problem, Daven,” she shouted back. “I just want you. You happen to be in here. Only one of us is leaving this place alive. Let whatever ‘innocents’ die if you don’t want to surrender. I’m rather impartial to it either way.” The woman began to wail. Nyssa moved closer, aiming the blaster directly at the top of the counter. The second he stood up she would have him. He was quite the coward, really, and it surprised her. She drew to a halt in front of the bar, searching for any sign of the Jedi. Several of the customers, who previously couldn’t take their eyes off her, were currently hiding under the countertop and avoiding her gaze. She peered over the bar slowly, blaster ready to take the shot. A few broken bottles lined the floor, probably shattered by one of Nyssa’s shots, and various kinds of alcohol were seeping through the wooden floorboards. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye and she pointed at it within a heartbeat. “Please,” the barkeep sobbed. “Please don’t kill me.” Tears soaked his beard and ran streaks of clean through the grit on his face. Nyssa didn’t bother to respond or ask where Daven was. Instead, she whirled around to protect her unguarded back. Her turn was greeted with a loud snap-hiss. A blur of orange-yellow came towards her and forced her to back away. Her tailbone bumped the counter’s sharp edge. Nyssa grinded her teeth together as the lightsaber blade’s tip flew by just centimeters from her nose. She blinked and then refocused on Daven. He stood poised with the saber over his body, ready to strike directly at her neck. Gone was the playful smile he held only moments before, and his innocent-looking features had hardened into an expression suited to a seasoned warrior. How quickly the hunted became the hunter. Nyssa fired another round at him, hoping to push him back only a few steps – just more than a blade’s length away. He didn’t budge, but used the saber to gracefully block the oncoming shots. She was grateful that the array blaster could fire so rapidly, or else Daven might have been able to strike her down in between rounds. He did eventually move back, nearly by the time smoke was starting to arise from the newly blaster-burnt objects around them. He was repositioning himself to block the fire at a different angle. Nyssa took a split second to wonder why he had done so before she saw – almost in slow motion, really – him reflect one of her own shots back to her. She tried to dodge it, but time sped up far too fast, and the stray fire hit her square in the thigh. She fell with a shriek, dropping her blaster and using her free hand to stop the bleeding. Daven stood motionless, his lightsaber still ignited. He did not cut her down, but looked sadistically amused, as if he had been planning this all long. “I don’t know who or what has given you a taste for Jedi blood,” he told her, his voice surprisingly gentle. “But you won’t get it from me.” She stared up at him, waiting for the deathblow that never came. Instead, the Jedi deactivated his saber and reached for a nearby napkin – one large enough to make a tourniquet. He handed it to her with deliberately slow movements, keeping his distance both for her comfort and his safety. She grabbed the cloth quickly and jerked her hand away as soon as she was able. Wrapping her leg tightly, she tied the napkin edges into several knots. “We have no previous quarrel,” Daven continued. “I’ve let you live.” “Don’t make the mistake, Jedi,” she said, pausing to catch her breath and raise, “of thinking that this is some sort personal issue with me. The Empire has put a rather lucrative bounty on your head. I’m in it for the money. And I don’t get paid until you’re dead.” She realized that those beautiful azure eyes had been full of compassion only after the look had utterly disappeared. Now his brow was furrowed and, somehow, the blue had darkened. “I’m sorry to hear that, then.” “I’ll bet you are.” She shifted her weight off the bad leg – her left one – and rebalanced herself. She knew she hadn’t picked up her blaster when she stood, but that didn’t really matter anyway. Nyssa reached behind her back with her right hand, feeling for the object strapped securely to her weapons belt, and grabbed a hold of its handle. She watched Daven, who appeared to be at a loss as to what to do next. Of course he would be; the Jedi would not attack an unarmed opponent even after said opponent refused to surrender. It reminded Nyssa of hive drone – an insect that was genetically programmed to do one task and one task alone. When circumstances changed, the bug would simply stop functioning and die. This behavior was characteristic of Jedi in general – save innocent, destroy hostile – and clearly manifested itself in Daven in particular. He was quite the drone, indeed. Well, she thought, barely able to contain her glee, I’ll make the decision easy for him this time. The shockwhip was a blur as it unfolded and cracked for the first time. Daven flinched and jumped back involuntarily, but his saber was re-ignited within the second. Nyssa moved her arm up and flicked her wrist, sending the flexsteel strand hurling towards him. He attempted to block it, swinging his lightsaber to intercept the whip’s tip. The two weapons connected with a bright flash of light and electrical surge. Daven pulled back quickly, obviously worried that his saber could short out. “Shockwhip,” she informed him. “It has a power conduit all of its own. Just think what it’s gonna do to your skin.” She cracked the whip towards him again, this time aiming right for the saber instead of his neck. Daven’s reaction had given her an idea. They touched and surged once more, but now the whip had managed to wrap itself around the saber’s blade several times. Nyssa yanked as hard as she could. Daven held his grip tightly, but the bounty hunter clearly had all the leverage and the saber eventually flew from his hands. She pulled up, letting the whip release the saber into the air, and cracked it back down onto Daven’s shoulder. And now there was nothing to stop the impact. It hit, and Nyssa heard a harsh buzz the moment the tip stuck his skin. The sound that came out of Daven’s mouth was nearly inhuman and much louder. He shuddered violently and his knees buckled, but he was able to remain standing. So she hit him again – now on his ankle to make sure he would finally go down. He did, landing roughly on the palms of his hands and shaking as the electricity flowed through his veins. It must have hurt. She stopped, pitying him for a second – knowing that he had put up a good fight – before striking him once more. He merely whimpered this time as the flexsteel traced across his upper back. She readied her wrist to flick forward again; this blow would most likely be the one to render him unconscious. But, with speed impossible to follow with a human eye, he shifted aside. The whip grazed past him, even as Nyssa attempted to draw it back to her. He jumped up and threw himself at her. She didn’t have the time to brace for the rough collusion, and she found herself tumbling to the floor with Daven’s body completely covering her. They landed, and the Jedi immediately grabbed her wrist, pinning it to the ground. His touch was rough and she could tell he was putting a great deal of weight into that grip. “Let go of it,” he ordered. She could feel his warm breath on her face and was beginning to find it hard to ignore the fact that he was straddling her. “Like hell, Jedi,” she hissed back. She looked directly into his eyes. Gods, he was close. Close enough to kiss her if he wanted to. His grasp intensified and, pulling her arm up, he slammed her hand against the wooden floor. He repeated the move until she felt her knuckles begin to blister. The whip slid out of her grip. He relented a bit, resting the bulk of his weight on his knees. She glared at him and plotted a way out from under him. Daven, however, was looking away, ahead of them. It could have been some sort of trick, but his mortified expression appeared to be genuine. Curious, she tilted her head back and followed his gaze to a human figure lying on the ground across from them. It was the crying prostitute, Nyssa realized, but the sound of weeping had long since ceased. Daven’s lightsaber, deactivated, was next to her, and a large, cauterized gash ran from the top of her chest to the bottom. The saber must have hit her after Nyssa had pulled it away from Daven. “She’s dead?” She knew it was a stupid question, but she desperately wanted an answer in the negative. He nodded sharply and Nyssa could hear him swallow dryly. They had killed her. They had killed an innocent person. As much as she hated to admit it, that was the first time for Nyssa. She wished she didn’t feel so guilty – who cared about one pathetic tramp? – but she couldn’t help it. This was not the way it was supposed to go. It was just supposed to be Daven. She needed to get out of there. She needed to end this. His right hand, while still holding onto her left, had not gotten the same amount of attention as his left. It was still a weak grip when Nyssa managed to slip her hand away. Daven focused on it and tried to regain his hold, but it was too late. Nyssa punched him hard in the face and he instantly drew back, freeing her right hand. She reached down towards her boot and grabbed the vibroblade that was strapped inside it. Before he had a chance to re-steady himself, she sank the blade into his leg. Daven hissed and uttered a word she could have sworn Jedi did not actually have in their vocabulary. She was all but free and she began to slide away from him. He managed to compose himself long enough to hit her back – a right hook much more powerful than she could have mustered. Her lip bled. Daven starred at her, collecting his breath in gasps. Finally he stood and reached out his hand. The lightsaber whizzed through the air and landed in his palm. She watched him. There would be no second chance at surrender, especially now that her actions had resulted in the death of that girl. Nyssa waited for him to ignite the saber, for him to strike her down, but, again, it never came. Instead, he simply walked past her, limping towards the exit. He glanced at the woman’s corpse as he passed, but said nothing, did nothing. She willed her body to get up and follow to fight another round, yet she felt the last of her energy drain from her. She was exhausted. Looking down at her bad leg, she saw that the napkin tourniquet was completely soaked in blood. Droplets were also leaking through her suit and wetting the floor. She had lost a lot more blood than she had originally anticipated. Straining against the wound, Nyssa stood and headed to the front door. Daven was gone, lost in the freezing wind, and even his blood trail was quickly covered with a new layer of snow. She’d find him eventually. Nyssa drew a ragged breath and leaned into the doorframe, letting the fierce draft blow against her bruised face and through her disheveled hair. Nyssa would find him. ***** Thanks to Lei for the beta -----signature----- Do you ever get bored and find yourself scrolling down a thread just to read the signatures?
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Happy_Hobbit_Padawan Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 1/30/05 8:24pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated Jan. 29) - Date Edited: 1/30/05 10:44pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Happy_Hobbit_Padawan
	posts to secure FIRST REPLY before oba can reads [edit...] Wow, Atty. First off - your characters are awesome. I can't describe eloquently what I mean - - but they're so real. I can completely imagine Nemp - from the way he wonders about tabacs sticks' danger to how he fears 'Sabercat' to how he hurls his lump of a body into the speeder. Daven’s appearance was now handsomely rogue at best and cruel at worst. Ooh, a handsome rogue, is he? Daven's got a bad feeling! But I love how you are doing flashbacks (if these first two posts are an indication of what's to come). Keeps us wondering how Telos is going to go, and we get to learn just why Telos has so many bad memories for them. I just adore your descriptions too. He was honestly surprised that the moisture in his breath didn’t solidify and drop to the ground as ice. It was that cold. ... Tears soaked his beard and ran streaks of clean through the grit on his face. I felt horrible when Daven had to kill the Rodian. And yet that seems only the beginning of his troubles, now that he's hunted. The "flirty fight" scene is brilliant. I love how Nyssa approaches him and notices just how young he is. She realizes how close in age they are, and then she notices what a hottie he is. Could nothing go as she thought it would? If you ask me I think it was love at first sight. “At the moment, the worst you can do is blow out my kneecap,” he reminded her. She moved the blaster slightly left, aiming directly for the Jedi’s crotch. “And now?” And I love their bantering! And how Daven was distracting her. But then comes the nasty fight. That shockwhip - ow. he looked directly into his eyes. Gods, he was close. Close enough to kiss her if he wanted to. Like I told ya. She was so in love with him at first sight. I admit I gasped when Daven realizes the girl is dead. How horrible for both of them - Nyssa feels guilt, too, as although she's after Daven (who really has done nothing wrong) she's never killed an innocent. Kinda like Daven killing the Rodian. This is delightful, Atty. More more more!!! -----signature----- Belaé, Handmaiden of the Crest Get jiggly with it at Jello Anarchy.
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obaona Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 1/31/05 12:27pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated Jan. 29)
	thwacks HHP thoroughly Not only was he in the prime of his youth, but he was also the single most gorgeous man Nyssa had ever seen. His eyes were about five shades bluer than on the pic and his soft, round features looked less effeminate than she imagined they would. Instead, he appeared calm and intelligent despite his obvious youth, very much the stoic Jedi. Oooh. I just love this description of Daven. I have a very clear image of him in my head now. I also liked the bit about her thinking him older - and how she thinks now that he should have been a Padawan. That's just, well, interesting to me. I wonder how much she knows about the Jedi, how much she researched? But at the same time, I realize (anew) how young Daven is. “Um, I’m sorry,” he spoke, jarring her out of her reverie even as he had the voice to match his looks. “You’re a very beautiful woman, but I’m not interested. Never mind that I don’t have the credits.” LMAO. “I mean,” he said, mouth nearly full of food, “you don’t wear the makeup, but, walking around in that outfit when it’s below freezing outside? Yeah, you do.” He took a large drink from his glass of water. LMAO. But so true. That outfit ... I mean, he can't know it's light armor, but ... cracks up “As much as I find your sexual preferences or lack thereof absolutely fascinating,” Nyssa hissed I bet you do. I could quote forever, but I just love their interaction. It's so hilarious, so unexpected. That was one of the things I liked about Eluding, that it was so unexpected - the humor, along with the pain and drama. The way you flawlessly have both at the same time is just amazing. I don't know why you think you don't do fight scenes well. I think you're very good at it. You don't go overboard in description, or get too technical, but I can nevertheless clearly envision what is happening. I liked how Nyssa saw him adjust his angle to reflect her fire back at her, before she realized what was going on. It's little, believable touches like that just make the whole thing work so well. Your fight scenes are very engaging. I don't feel talked down to (and yes, I do with some fics) about the actual techie parts of skill, and moreover, you maintain their characters throughout the fight. That is, who they are is not separate from their fighting. Sometimes fight scenes read as just, well, a list of this technique and that technique, but it was fun and interesting to follow Nyssa's thought process as she fought. And the fight wasn't elegant. No super-powerful Jedi, no unbelievably-skilled bounty hunter, just two damn good fighters. And then the little exchange they have in the middle of the fight - it sounds like Daven liked her from the getgo, but ... well. She is trying to kill him. For profit, no less, something I imagine Daven finds especially detestable. This behavior was characteristic of Jedi in general – save innocent, destroy hostile – and clearly manifested itself in Daven in particular. He was quite the drone, indeed. I hadn't thought of it that way. But I can see how Nyssa would think that. Jedi are not particularly adaptable in that sense. Which is a good thing (moral strength! ), but I imagine that predictability hurt them a lot in the Purges. He merely whimpered this time as the flexsteel traced across his upper back. Ouch. That whole scene where she got him with the whip - ouch. I really disliked Nyssa in that moment. They had killed her. They had killed an innocent person. I was so shocked at this. And they killed her. They both had a hand in it, and they knew it. And for the first time, we see that Nyssa is a compassionate human being. She didn't mean to kill an innocent anymore than Daven, the Jedi drone, did. The way the find ended ... those last paragraphs ... I felt really sad. The way Nyssa hurt Daven - and she hurt him pretty badly, along with the unplanned death - and how they both, well, come out of it hurt. In more ways than one. Reading about this, their first fight, makes me really realize how much of a leap (of faith, that is) them getting together must have been. But I think I can see the roots of their relationship, as strange as it sounds. For one thing, their fight has already cost the life of another person, and they both are aware of it. sniffles I'm so glad they get together in this AU and, you know, survive. Right now I just want to burst into tears. I don't know why, but I do. -----signature----- MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind. - teh atty my recent Atton (KOTOR2) fic: http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/30335989
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Neo-Paladin Registered: Dec '04	Date Posted: 2/1/05 8:08am Subject: Boggle
	That was crazy good. I've felt the purge should be a really amazing place to write fan fiction for a long time. This was a fantastic example of what can be done in that time frame. I haven't started reading the AU part yet, but I'll get going on it latter today I think. Thanks! -----signature----- Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar. Edward R. Murrow
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LianaMara Registered: Oct '00	Date Posted: 2/1/05 10:01am Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated Jan. 29)
	emerging from lurkerdom oba told me to read "Eluding What Will Come" months ago - and I finally did. I absolutely adore this story, Atty: your OCs were wonderful, fully-fleshed out characters, and your writing in this story is so mature and just plain professional. The ending was very sad, and excellent - I ignored Amsie's comment, so I wasn't spoiled - and after all the build-up you'd done, that was such an emotional conclusion. And I love the AU story so far - it's interesting to see how Daven and Nyssa's characters could have evolved even more, and that flashback to their first meeting was intense! I hope you update soon. huggles I was very happy to beta those posts for you, dear. -----signature----- "For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business." --T.S. Eliot Leilaé, handmaiden of the Crest \|\| petit Jedi enfant of obaona \|\| Lani & Lali's blonde triplet
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karebear214 Registered: Sep '02	Date Posted: 2/2/05 2:47pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated Jan. 29)
	Most impressive. I really like how you showed the effect of this brutal fight on the two of them emotionally, especially Nyssa. She's still a bounty hunter and he's still a Jedi and that affects what they do. She is still trying to kill him, it's not like, "oh no, what a horrible mistake I'm making. You're hot, I love you." It takes time for that to happen, it takes little steps that sneak up on you, and you really capture that here. Also, at the same time that she's trying to kill him, for money, she is not completely heartles. Hurting people bothers her, and that makes her character deep and real. I look forward to reading more. -----signature----- "I don't like it that you can win an argument without using verbs." - Luke Skywalker to Ben, "Outcast"
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Pallas-Athena Title: TFN Fan Fiction Archive Editor Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 2/5/05 1:34pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated Jan. 29)
	Bel: posts to secure FIRST REPLY before oba can Playing dirty, are we? Wow, Atty. beams I can't describe eloquently what I mean - but they're so real. That was nice and eloquent-y, methinks! And I try I can completely imagine Nemp - from the way he wonders about tabacs sticks' danger to how he fears 'Sabercat' to how he hurls his lump of a body into the speeder. I like Nemp he was the beginning of this story in many ways, because though the eyes of a dirty, overweight ick that fantasizes about sleeping with Nyssa precisely because he’d never, ever come close I first wondered what a Jedi-turned-smuggler/lover of said Nyssa would look like. But I love how you are doing flashbacks (if these first two posts are an indication of what's to come). Keeps us wondering how Telos is going to go, and we get to learn just why Telos has so many bad memories for them. Screw linear narrative! I hope you all don’t mind, but this story’s gonna bounce around like a tennis ball. And yet that seems only the beginning of his troubles, now that he's hunted. or one in a long line of many The "flirty fight" scene is brilliant. I love how Nyssa approaches him and notices just how young he is. She realizes how close in age they are, and then she notices what a hottie he is. Yep, I thought it would be fun to have Nyssa totally unaware of Daven’s hotness until the very last minute. She was expecting a grumpy middle age Jedi. Maybe with a beard. If you ask me I think it was love at first sight. Perhaps There certainly was something there! And I love their bantering! And how Daven was distracting her. Heehee. Their dialogue just pops out onto the paper; it’s kinda weird. She was so in love with him at first sight. Makes you wonder if she would have stopped fighting if he had kissed her. I know she would at a later date … but the muse that allows me into her brain won’t say How horrible for both of them - Nyssa feels guilt, too, as although she's after Daven (who really has done nothing wrong) she's never killed an innocent. Kinda like Daven killing the Rodian. I know My poor babies! I guess they both have to decide for themselves what one life is worth to them ponders This is delightful, Atty. Thank you, my dear!!! oba: thwacks HHP thoroughly Aw, play nice! Oooh. I just love this description of Daven. I have a very clear image of him in my head now. Good Because that’s what he looks like, heehee. Though I must admit that my own mental image gets blurry. I wonder how much she knows about the Jedi, how much she researched? That’s been sort of a touch and go subject, huh? Some stuff she seems to know – Jedi can have sex - and others not – Jedi don’t have children. Best to say that her knowledge is choppy at best, and mostly practical – what she needs to know to work with them in the military. But at the same time, I realize (anew) how young Daven is. You can tell that his age fascinates me, huh? I am just amazed that somebody my age could live that sort of life. That outfit ... I mean, he can't know it's light armor, but ... I wouldn’t put it past Daven to realize what it was and say it anyway. It's so hilarious, so unexpected. That was one of the things I liked about Eluding, that it was so unexpected - the humor, along with the pain and drama. The way you flawlessly have both at the same time is just amazing. I needed to have this first scene lay out their relationship because it’s probably the only pre-Eluding interaction I’m going to show. It sort of sets the tone for things to come. I can imagine that every confrontation mirrors it – humor and drama. I don't know why you think you don't do fight scenes well. I think you're very good at it. You don't go overboard in description, or get too technical, but I can nevertheless clearly envision what is happening. Maybe it’s because I don’t read them very well – in an overly technical fight, I get bored and have trouble following the action. So I tend to try to lay it out clearly. I don’t think action is my thing, still, and I doubt any of you are going to complain about the fact that every post won’t consist of a five page fight scene That is, who they are is not separate from their fighting. Sometimes fight scenes read as just, well, a list of this technique and that technique, but it was fun and interesting to follow Nyssa's thought process as she fought. Yeah, if you lose the characters, then what’s the point of telling a story? Fighting is very much a part of who both Nyssa and Daven are, so it has to be reflected. And the fight wasn't elegant. No super-powerful Jedi, no unbelievably-skilled bounty hunter, just two damn good fighters. I’m glad you thought so, but I wonder if I down played their abilities too much shouldn’t Daven just like fly or something? And then the little exchange they have in the middle of the fight - it sounds like Daven liked her from the getgo, but ... well. She is trying to kill him. For profit, no less, something I imagine Daven finds especially detestable. I think he does. She’s pretty! And I think Daven admires strength in people. Bad career choice, though, as I think he says somewhere in Eluding … not his idea of the best job. I hadn't thought of it that way. But I can see how Nyssa would think that. Jedi are not particularly adaptable in that sense. Which is a good thing (moral strength!), but I imagine that predictability hurt them a lot in the Purges. Yeah, the Jedi mentality is not a ‘kill or be killed’ sort of thing. They’re used to being able to overpower any resistance and then dealing with their enemy’s surrender. I imagine Daven’s brain was very drone-like at that point because what is the right thing to do in that situation, exactly? Also, I imagine, this is the type of behavior that earns him the title of sexless drone later on That whole scene where she got him with the whip - ouch. I really disliked Nyssa in that moment. Yeah, she may be a good person deep down, but she hides it really well … They both had a hand in it, and they knew it. And for the first time, we see that Nyssa is a compassionate human being. She didn't mean to kill an innocent anymore than Daven, the Jedi drone, did. Exactly. I think that her compassion, as hidden as it is, is the finally stepping block in going from enemies to friends to lovers in their relationship. The way Nyssa hurt Daven - and she hurt him pretty badly, along with the unplanned death - and how they both, well, come out of it hurt. In more ways than one. Yeah, I think that it was a big event for the both of them. They’ve met their match physically and emotionally, and that requires some sort of reflection. The whole thing was totally against Nyssa’s plans, and that had to be a rough shock on her. And I’m sure Daven was wondering why he didn’t just kill her like the other bounty hunter. Reading about this, their first fight, makes me really realize how much of a leap (of faith, that is) them getting together must have been. But I think I can see the roots of their relationship, as strange as it sounds. For one thing, their fight has already cost the life of another person, and they both are aware of it. If their relationship can survive a beginning like that, it can survive anything. I think in that fight they both learned each other’s limits because they both broke them. They come to an understanding, if you will, about what sort of person exactly the other is. I'm so glad they get together in this AU and, you know, survive. Right now I just want to burst into tears. I don't know why, but I do. Aww. Everybody deserves a happy ending, right? Neo-Paladin: That was crazy good. Thanks! I've felt the purge should be a really amazing place to write fan fiction for a long time. This was a fantastic example of what can be done in that time frame. Yeah, it seems to be a very … limitless? … timeframe for narrative, especially for OC stories, obviously I hope you’ve checked out The Jedi Purge Challenge. Tons of fics in this era are linked there I’ll have you know, though, that mine was the first ever romance! VaderLVR64 has the second, I do believe Lei: emerging from lurkerdom How does it feel? Is the sun suddenly brighter? oba told me to read "Eluding What Will Come" months ago - and I finally did. Heehee, thanks, oba I absolutely adore this story, Atty: your OCs were wonderful, fully-fleshed out characters, and your writing in this story is so mature and just plain professional. Thanks! Professional? beams The ending was very sad, and excellent - I ignored Amsie's comment, so I wasn't spoiled - and after all the build-up you'd done, that was such an emotional conclusion. Awesome! So the unexpected name thingie worked, huh? I wouldn’t know, since I already knew and Amsie spoiled all others side long glance at Amsie I’m glad the conclusion worked. I always worry that a story will loose luster and fizz out at the end. And I love the AU story so far - it's interesting to see how Daven and Nyssa's characters could have evolved even more, and that flashback to their first meeting was intense! Thanks Yeah, I’m beginning to know how those two work better than I know how my TV does. huggles I was very happy to beta those posts for you, dear. Thank you so much I love me a good beta read karebear: Most impressive. bow She's still a bounty hunter and he's still a Jedi and that affects what they do. She is still trying to kill him, it's not like, "oh no, what a horrible mistake I'm making. You're hot, I love you." Heehee, that would have been a hoot! “Let’s run away together” “okay!” Yeah, as much as Nyssa thinks he’s a hottie, I’m sure she’s not too depressed about wiping another pretty boy off the face of the galaxy. He’s worth a lot It takes time for that to happen, it takes little steps that sneak up on you, and you really capture that here. Exactly. I think that neither of them really know when the exact moment they fell in love with each other. Nyssa realizes it at the beginning of Eluding, Daven later on the ship, but it’s just the realization, not the actual fall. Also, at the same time that she's trying to kill him, for money, she is not completely heartles. Hurting people bothers her, and that makes her character deep and real. Yeah, it’s a job, but she’s not in it for the bloodbath. Just the money. She has a very strong conscience on it, probably because of her own mother’s brutal death -----signature----- Do you ever get bored and find yourself scrolling down a thread just to read the signatures?
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obaona Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 2/5/05 8:19pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated Jan. 29) author replies up!
	Have I ever mentioned that I like your multi-colored replies? I'd do that with DYM, but I'm too lazy. Aw, play nice! No! [face_petulant] You can tell that his age fascinates me, huh? I am just amazed that somebody my age could live that sort of life. I had my birthday a few weeks ago, and it's weird, but I'm realizing that - I'm the age of some of these younger charcters, that I think, "They can handle it" and then I think, "Wait! They're only my age!" Which sounds weird, but ... yeah. I wouldn’t put it past Daven to realize what it was and say it anyway. That had me LMAO. I don’t think action is my thing, still, and I doubt any of you are going to complain about the fact that every post won’t consist of a five page fight scene Can I complain that not every post will consist of a 5 page sex scene? Wait, did I say that out loud? I’m glad you thought so, but I wonder if I down played their abilities too much shouldn’t Daven just like fly or something? I didn't think so at all. Here's why - Jedi are not perfect beings. They aren't perfect fighters. Let's face it, Mace and Obi-Wan and Anakin and Yoda (and so on) are the best of the best, the cream of the crop, all those other cliches. We know that not all Jedi were that good. I was reading up on the forms of lightsaber combat, and there was the VI form, which was called the 'Diplomat's Form'. All the Jedi that used that form (which is less demanding, and easier to learn) on Geonosis died. Daven was smart, skilled, and acted as a Jedi would in that fight, not striking down an unarmed opponent. Who knows if he was even familiar with the whip Nyssa was using. And I, personally, was impressed at how he overcame the pain he was in and still 'won' the fight. I think any normal man would have had the crap beaten out of him. I lurk on discussions in the movie forums quite frequently, and something that's been pointed out about the PT is that it really strives to show the weakness of the Jedi. Qui-Gon's death in TPM occurred because they arrogantly thought the Sith didn't exist, and both he and Obi-Wan were unprepared for that double-bladed lightsaber. They got trapped and slaughtered in AOTC. The OT, I think, hints that the Jedi are more powerful than we ever see in the PT. I think that's why you might be thinking "Shouldn't Daven fly?" But he shouldn't. Okay, I'll really stop now. Yeah, the Jedi mentality is not a ‘kill or be killed’ sort of thing. They’re used to being able to overpower any resistance and then dealing with their enemy’s surrender. I imagine Daven’s brain was very drone-like at that point because what is the right thing to do in that situation, exactly? Also, I imagine, this is the type of behavior that earns him the title of sexless drone later on That's very true. I hadn't thought of it in the sense of 'overpowering resistance'. But the Jedi are used to being the best, whether they are or not. (And in most cases, I suspect they would be ... but how often do the Jedi deal with people specifically hunting them? Instead of just wanting the Jedi out of the way?) Hmmm. Aww. Everybody deserves a happy ending, right? I'm so glad you decided to write this AU. I truly am. I heart you and this fic. hearts -----signature----- MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind. - teh atty my recent Atton (KOTOR2) fic: http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/30335989
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Pallas-Athena Title: TFN Fan Fiction Archive Editor Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 2/6/05 1:12am Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated Jan. 29) author replies up! - Date Edited: 2/14/05 12:08am (9 edits total) Edited By: Pallas-Athena
	oba: Have I ever mentioned that I like your multi-colored replies? I'd do that with DYM, but I'm too lazy. Heehee, it's not so bad with it a few readers. And it seems to work better with long replies - to separate them, you know? And they look so pretty! I had my birthday a few weeks ago, and it's weird, but I'm realizing that - I'm the age of some of these younger charcters, that I think, "They can handle it" and then I think, "Wait! They're only my age!" Which sounds weird, but ... yeah. Exactly. I don't even have a job yet and Daven has killed a handful of people! Can I complain that not every post will consist of a 5 page sex scene? Perhaps Romance, I must say, is probably still going to be the primary genre. So now you know why Mara scenes get bumped down to second behind some Daven/Nyssa kissage. I hope no one truly minds, but hey, it's my story and I write what I find utterly fascinating I was reading up on the forms of lightsaber combat, and there was the VI form, which was called the 'Diplomat's Form'. All the Jedi that used that form (which is less demanding, and easier to learn) on Geonosis died. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I think Anakin et al. were supposed to be the exceptional ones, so it's reasonable. I've heard of the forms, too, and that makes sense - can't say which form Daven would be trained in though. Certainly something to think about. He has a very diplomatic personality, has a way with words ... I lurk on discussions in the movie forums quite frequently, and something that's been pointed out about the PT is that it really strives to show the weakness of the Jedi. Yeah, they certainly couldn't be all powerful, especially not the way the EU portrays them, or the purges would have never happened. But the Jedi are used to being the best, whether they are or not. (And in most cases, I suspect they would be ... but how often do the Jedi deal with people specifically hunting them? Instead of just wanting the Jedi out of the way?) Most of the time I imagine they're dealing with criminals, rebels, etc ... maybe assassins, but certainly not assassins that are going after them specifically but political leaders. Although Nyssa wasn't trained to specifically hunt Jedi, her bounty hunter work would give her a better grasp than a political assassin. I'm so glad you decided to write this AU. I truly am. I heart you and this fic And it's being such a rewarding and fun ride. I heart you too ***** Rescue the Princess - Part Two Focus. Her head was hurting from the force of her concentration and her vision was beginning to blur. The cutting laser ran along the crystal smoothly, directly at a sixty-eight degree angle. She held her breath as the laser made its next pass. If she lost her grip - let it slip even a millimeter - the crystal would be ruined. Mara exhaled triumphantly as the laser cut clean through. She turned the device off, placing it in the workbench's tool bin, and stared at the lavender, translucent crystal before her. It was nearly finished, and, if her calculations were precise - they better be! - it would fit perfectly into the hilt she was fashioning. She had been working on it for over a month, but her father had assured her that such a rate of progress was fine for a Padawan building her first lightsaber. Of course, Mara always wanted to be better than "fine," and her father knew it. So he insisted repeatedly that she take her time and be patient. Never mind that her mother had told her that he had constructed the saber he had now in a matter of days when Mara was an infant. The crystal was still hot, so she didn't bother to lift it out of the clamp. Instead she glanced at her father's drawing - more a schematic than a simple sketch - of his own saber. It had served as a faithful guide, even when her father had lacked the technical prowess to explain everything in detail. The fact that her father, who was never one for machines, could build such a complex weapon was surprising to both her and her mother. But, if he was nothing else, he was elusive. And, as if Mara's thoughts alone had willed it, she actually felt her father's presence drawing near. His was a bright, warm aura - she liked to think of it as a golden color, matching his lightsaber blade. She could feel her mother as well, but she was faint, like all those that couldn't touch the Force. The closer she was to her husband, though, the more intense her presence would become, and now Mara could almost see it - a cool, blue river, not unwelcoming but always capable of quick twists in temperament. She smiled, glad that they had returned. Like any teenager, Mara would outwardly rejoice when her parents left her alone to be responsible for the entire ship, but secretly she always wanted them to come back quickly. Their love was strong, and she had easily felt it through the Force since her birth. It enveloped her, protected her, and that was hard to resist. If her father had sensed her true feelings while she and her mother held one of their frequent debates on whether or not Mara should be allowed to explore a new planet, he had never said so. He pretended to be oblivious to a good deal of goings-on when she knew he wasn't. "Mara?" came her mother's slightly urgent voice. "Here!" She jumped out of the workbench's chair and hurried towards the Gray Star's main cargo hold. There both parents were struggling with the weight of a large crate as they tried to carry it up the ship's ramp - each grabbing a hold of one end. "Is that Nemp's package?" she asked. Instead of rushing to their aid, Mara stood poised next to the ramp's operating switch. "Yeah," her father grunted. "I'm sure it's part of his evil plan to give us all back injuries and try to take over Nal Hutta while we're recovering." "No, you're just getting old, Dad." It was a routine jest on the thirteen-year-old's part - probably because she actually wished he would look his age. The man was nearing forty, yet most people would believe that he was closer to thirty. Strangers often thought - with their thick, full red hair of the exact same shade - that they were brother and sister instead of father and daughter. And that was just weird in Mara's opinion. He mumbled something in Rukien - one of the many languages he had taught her that her mother had no hope of understanding. It wasn't exactly polite, but it wasn't necessarily cruel, either. It made her giggle. Her mother had noticed it, as the new line in her brow indicated, but she said nothing. From before Mara could remember, her father had been solely responsible for her education. Her mother was a proud woman, but would be the first to admit that her own childhood learning wasn't exactly spectacular. Nyssa's mother was poor and thus, she herself was given a free Coruscanti schoolgirl education - a program not known for producing the next generation of galactic scholars, despite its location. To top it off, Nyssa had barely graduated from school after her mother's death. Mara's father, on the other hand, had received one of the finest educations the galaxy had to offer. Long before the Clone Wars, Nyssa had read an old study from the University of Aldera on Alderaan in which twenty Jedi Knights participated. They all took a series of exams - the same exams that would qualify a student to earn an advanced degree. Of the three-hundred and eighteen fields of study at the university, all of the Jedi had passed the tests at a level that would allow them to teach university classes in two-hundred and fifty-four of them. The study had caused much controversy at the time, and several senators had wanted their children educated in the Temple so badly that they had threatened to pass a law to cut Jedi funding otherwise. Young Mara had simply wrinkled her nose, unable to process the statistics for what they meant. "If Daddy and the Jedi are so smart, why can't they just teach everything?" She learned later that her mother had roughly pushed her father into teaching her. He had kept dodging her demands, saying that the study was misleading, but she wouldn't hear it - after all, a person that was an expert in just one of those fields was certainly a better teacher than she could ever be. Nyssa was clearly the more stubborn of the two, and Daven had eventually relented when Mara was about three. And, incidentally, her Jedi training began. For the Jedi, it was never about a special education program that would mysteriously teach a pupil five times as much as a normal person could absorb in the same amount of years. It was about the Force. It was a simple technique, really, Force-memorization - all one had to do was focus intensely on whatever was to be learned and the Force seemed to do the rest. Information was known, easy to recall, and ready for analysis. So simple, even a toddler could do it. And that was the only way her father knew how to learn and teach. Mara never knew when her mother had found out that her father was inadvertently training their daughter in the Jedi ways nor how she reacted; anything to do with the Jedi often remained largely unspoken about in her family. "We're in," her father said, breaking her out of her thoughts and putting her back into the situation at hand. Her parents were no longer on the ramp, but had lifted the crate completely inside the ship. She nodded and pressed the switch. The ramp hummed and lifted up, closing into an airtight seal. As soon as they heard the final click of the ramp's locks, Nyssa let go of the crate. Daven didn't struggle alone, though, but let it go as well and watched as it hovered into place against the cargo hold's far wall. A Jedi must never be too cautious about who could possibly see him using the Force - a lesson Mara had learned quickly. "It's huge," Mara commented. "What's in it?" Her father shrugged, apparently not at all that curious, but her mother grinned eagerly. "We don't know," she told her. "Which means it must be good." Mara's smile soon matched her mother's. "We should find out." "Definitely." Mara heard her father let out a low snort as he headed towards the cockpit. The idea of breaking through so many locks to uncover what was so purposely concealed excited her, but her father, having no love of mechanics, would never understand that. She and her mother were alone in this. Daven would certainly take a peek when it was opened, yet it would be the two women working together to crack the locks without damaging them. Such practical skills were one thing Nyssa could teach her daughter, and she enjoyed doing so. Mara found it extremely fascinating and the extra time spent with her mother was all the more of a bonus. Nyssa grinned at her - a look that she returned. They followed Mara's father to the cockpit, both giggling. *** "Try eight, five, one, six," her mother told her as she griped the carbine pick tightly, slowly lifting the last needle on the hot trigger. Mara could hear the click of the inner casing, which told her that the trigger was now released. She nodded, typing in the code on the unislicer. The lock's password screen blinked rapidly as it processed the new string of numbers. After a moment, it flashed red and Mara heard the needle lock again. Her mother removed the pick and let out a frustrated sigh before throwing it in the tool bin. She stretched and favored Mara with a sympathetic smile. "We didn't do too bad, kiddo," she said. "We'll get it tomorrow. Should get some sleep, now, though." "But, Mom," Mara protested, knowing that her tone was dangerously close to whining, "one more time. I bet the code's eight, five, one, seven. It has to be. Come on!" Nyssa yawned and shook her head. "Tomorrow, baby." She stood and stretched once more, heading towards her husband. Daven was silently dozing on a bench across the hold from the crate. He held a datapad loosely in his hand - Mara's quantum mathematical equations still half graded. "Hey," she whispered - a breath more than word. She crouched next to him and brushed the bristles of his near-beard with the palm of her hand. He flinched slightly and opened his eyes. "Hmm?" he mumbled, staring directly into her eyes. "Hey." He smiled lazily. "Bedtime," Nyssa told him. She reached over and placed a slight kiss on his lips, which caused him to stir a bit more. "Ew," Mara grunted disapprovingly. Why do they always do that? Her father rubbed his face, trying to wake up, and stretched himself. He stood and grabbed his wife, kissing her back playfully. Nyssa giggled. Mara merely rolled her eyes at them this time. "Pretty good on the equations, youngling," her father said as he shut off the datapad. "Are you going to write that essay tomorrow?" "Yeah, of course, Dad," she said sheepishly. She would avoid it as best she could - they both knew that - but she imagined that she would have no choice at some point during the day. "Okay," he responded gently, letting go of Nyssa and gesturing to his daughter to give him a hug. "I love you. Get some sleep." They embraced and Mara nodded an affirmative into his shoulder. He kissed her on the forehead. He released her and Nyssa repeated Daven's gestures. Mara headed towards her quarters, but instead of getting into her sleeping clothes, she waited until she heard the familiar sound of her parents' door closing. The whoosh faded and the ship went silent. With a satisfied grin, Mara headed back towards the now empty cargo hold. She would break that lock. * Nyssa drew a ragged breath and leaned against him, planting rough kisses quickly along his shoulder and up his neck. They were both still wet with sweat as Daven pulled her closer to him and settled down into the sleepcouch. He was still amazed they both had awoken so completely in such a short amount of time, but Nyssa's touch always had a way prickling every nerve in his body into complete wakefulness. "That was good," she sighed contently and buried her face in the crook of his neck. "I love this - when everything's so perfect. Traveling in the middle of hyperspace. Making love. Together. Mara safe. Both of us safe." "Yeah," he agreed loosely, running a hand through her hair, inhaling her unique scent. "Me too." He felt her cheeks tighten into a smile. "You're such the poet, Daven," she said with a soft giggle. "Always ready to woo with eloquent words like 'yeah.'" He grunted in response as opposed to speaking, if just to annoy her more than anything else. He had never been one for conversation after being with Nyssa - he was happy to just lie in silence, holding her, enjoying a moment from which all Jedi were supposed to be abstained. It was a gift of the Force, this life - Nyssa, Mara, everything - and sometimes Daven just had to stop and wonder at it all. Nyssa stirred and propped her chin on his chest so that she could stare directly into his eyes. Her golden hair was tussled and messily framing her face. Sharp aristocratic features and forest green eyes; had Daven not met her in a rundown cantina, he would have sworn she was a daughter of royalty. She was that beautiful. Literally breathtaking. Her expression then became serious - as if she were studying him. "Do you want to talk about Telos?" she asked suddenly. "No." He diverted his gaze, not expecting that question. "I do," she told him, honesty lining her tone. She touched his cheek with her palm, and he sighed dejectedly before turning his eyes back to her. "I love you." The statement caused Daven to soften, but not simply because of the pure emotion expressed by it. The words were a declaration of Nyssa's greatest phobia - she feared that he would leave her so deeply that a certain sort of panic laced her presence every time they fought. He never understood why she felt that way, even though he himself had once worried about much the same thing as a naive and inexperienced lover to a woman quite the opposite. He often tried to comfort her, to assure her that no such thing would ever happen, and she could be calmed at the time, but her apprehension would only return again. "I love you too," he said simply. "I didn't mean for it to happen the way it happened," Nyssa told him earnestly. "Had I known ... had I known, I would have attacked you outside." The words began to pour out of her then. "I was so afraid that I wasn't going to be good enough to catch you in an open space, so I looked for a place that I could corner you in. I was so stupid. I thought I could use the civilians against you. I thought I wouldn't care if one happened to get in the way." "But you did." He touched her cheek gently. Tears were threatening to spill from those emerald eyes. "Do you hate me for it?" He shook his head. Even though Nyssa's definition of hate was far less brutal than his own, Daven still didn't feel anything remotely close to it for her because of the prostitute girl's death. Far from it. "I regret what happened, Nyssa, no more and no less than you do," he responded softly, stroking her hair gently with his hand. "Afterwards I thought of a thousand things that I did wrong ... a thousand things I should have done differently. I shouldn't have baited you; I should have run out the door. Surrendered, maybe, before it got too heated. I wondered if preserving my own life was worth hers. At that time, I swore it wasn't." He paused to watch her expression. She was staring at him intensely and her tears were slowly drying. He swallowed harshly, knowing that he had to continue, to tell her everything. "And that I should have kil ... killed you when you were down." She flinched almost imperceptibly but held his gaze. "I thought that a lot, really. Every time we met, actually. I forced myself to because I felt guilty - I was happy to see you and I didn't feel I deserved to be. And then it came to the point when I would have given my life for yours. And then when I would've decimated the entire galaxy - innocent and criminal alike - if you'd asked." Nyssa's tiny smile was rueful, understanding. "Do you still feel guilty now?" "No," he answered honestly. "We all make mistakes and learn to live with them. My life - our lives - changed that day. I think it was one of the best and worst days of my life, as strange as it sounds. I can't change what happened to that girl, but I wouldn't ever change the fact that I met you." Her eyes brightened as she reached up to kiss him. He welcomed her lips against his and they remained locked together, softly touching, not bothering to deepen the kiss. "Then why does Telos unnerve you?" she asked when they broke apart. Her face hovered just centimeters above his. "I said I no longer felt guilty," he favored her with a tight smile, "not that I enjoy remembering. I want to forget that time - the bounty hunter attacks, the hiding, the running, the lack of food, sleeping in alleyways. All I want to know is you and Mara." "Sounds reasonable," she soothed, burying her head in his chest once more. "We'll make it a quick trip, then." He nodded in agreement, and they laid in silence. After a few minutes, Daven heard Nyssa's breathing slow as she fell asleep. He closed his eyes as well, waiting to drift off himself and dream - he always dreamed now, and they were often pleasant. He felt his grip around Nyssa go lax and he yawned. "Daddy!" A shock-filled whisper shot through the room, and Daven was unsure if Mara had spoken it or used the Force. It didn't really matter; he stirred all the same. * to Lei for beta -----signature----- Do you ever get bored and find yourself scrolling down a thread just to read the signatures?
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Happy_Hobbit_Padawan Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 2/10/05 9:48am Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated Feb. 6)
	I didn't see that you had updated this! Be back in a short bit for a reply. -----signature----- Belaé, Handmaiden of the Crest Get jiggly with it at Jello Anarchy.
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obaona Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 2/10/05 7:51pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated Feb. 6)
	Perhaps Romance, I must say, is probably still going to be the primary genre. So now you know why Mara scenes get bumped down to second behind some Daven/Nyssa kissage. I hope no one truly minds, but hey, it’s my story and I write what I find utterly fascinating And you do it brilliantly. Seriously, though, that does make me happy. In my mind, Daven and Nyssa have always been the focus - I know Mara is an EU character (not OC! ), but I never thought Eluding was about anything other than these two characters in the time they were in, you know? Which is also why the child being Mara was such a surprise. Even though I'd been spoiled, I was so drawn into Nyssa/Daven, I was like . Oh, interesting. Yeah, I think Anakin et al. were supposed to be the exceptional ones, so it’s reasonable. I’ve heard of the forms, too, and that makes sense – can’t say which form Daven would be trained in though. Certainly something to think about. He has a very diplomatic personality, has a way with words … All Jedi do, though. I see Daven as being somewhere between the extremes, I suppose. Perhaps he'd use Obi-Wan's form, which is primarily for self-defense? And it’s being such a rewarding and fun ride. I heart you too And onto the post itself. Of course, Mara always wanted to be better than ‘fine,’ and her father knew it. So he insisted repeatedly that she take her time and be patient. Never mind that her mother had told her that he had constructed the saber he had now in a matter of days when Mara was an infant. The funny, interesting and very hard thing about AU's is nailing characterization. In my humble opinion, of course. But I really like how smoothly you blend this AU situation and Mara's just - personality. I mean, her personality was obviously partially formed by Palpatine and the way he wanted her to be, and yet I see her as having a very stubborn nature - which only Jedi training ever manages to calm (and even then not much). So I like this instinctual comparison on Mara's part. It had served as a faithful guide, even when her father had lacked the technical prowess to explain everything in detail. So building a lightsaber is almost instinctual for a Jedi? The fact that her father, who was never one for machines, could build such a complex weapon was surprising to both her and her mother. But, if he was nothing else, he was elusive. Cute, Atty, very cute! Don't think I didn't notice that last part! He was so elusive, he got you to write an AU where he lives ... (Well, he had my help. ) But I just like that image - of Daven not being very technically proficient. I mean, as a Jedi he'd know a lot, but hey, some things you just have a talent for and some things you don't, no matter how smart or well-trained you are. It was a routine jest on the thirteen-year-old’s part – probably because she actually wished he would look his age. The man was nearing forty, yet most people would believe that he was closer to thirty. I must admit, first time I read this part I blinked. At that age, you want to look older, not younger - striving for maturity and all (which generally speaking, you think you already possess ). But - interesting. He mumbled something in Rukien – one of the many languages he had taught her that her mother had no hope of understanding. It wasn’t exactly polite, but it wasn’t necessarily cruel, either. It made her giggle. Bad Daven! Of the three-hundred and eighteen fields of study at the university, all of the Jedi had passed the tests at a level that would allow them to teach university classes in two-hundred and fifty-four of them. You know I loved this. Such an offhand little detail, but I can totally see it being the case. He had kept dodging her demands, saying that the study was misleading, but she wouldn’t hear it – after all, a person that was an expert in just one of those fields was certainly a better teacher than she could ever be. I liked this - it just, again, makes sense. Of course the learning that Jedi have is intricately bound in their skills uniquely as Jedi. Can't Luke recall memories with perfect vividness now? I remember reading that in the EU, and he says to Mara something about memory recall in VOTF, as well (an offer which she refuses - not particularly wanting to remember her past ). Perhaps that is something lacking the new Jedi Order, that cohesiveness in all details of life. Of course, the new Jedi Order has new influences as well, which the Jedi Order couldn't have because of their very cohesiveness (and strict, this-is-what-you-learn training), which all considering isn't necessarily a bad thing. anything to do with the Jedi often largely remained unspoken about in her family. I can imagine. And even with the criminal lifestyle they're living, Mara letting something slip as a child would be disastrous. That makes me wonder, though, if they ever thought Mara lacked for companions her own age. Which makes me think of homeschooling (that always being the primary argument against it ... which has been largely disproven, by the way ). See all the things you make think of? And the next part, Nyssa and Mara already thinking about how to get into the box ... I loved that. You balanced it out, what Mara and Daven share, and what Mara and Nyssa share. Which is nice and also true to form, I think. Children tend to be from both their parents - Luke isn't solely like Luke, and Leia like Padme. (In fact, I've heard the opposite argued convincingly.) My mom, for example, calls me 'Bob' (my dad's name) whenever I chatise her for mistreating a book - but my mom is the one who actually reads my writing. Go figure. She crouched next to him and brushed the bristles of his near-beard with the palm of her hand. He flinched slightly and opened his eyes. “Hmm?” he mumbled, staring directly into her eyes. “Hey.” He smiled lazily. Why did he flinch? very curious now because must know everything But that lazy smile - I can so picture that. Hey ... oh hey. With a satisfied grin, Mara headed back towards the now empty cargo hold. She would break that lock. Why do I have a bad feeling about this? Nyssa drew a ragged breath and leaned against him, planting rough kisses quickly along his shoulder and up his neck. They were both still wet with sweat as Daven pulled her closer to him and settled down into the sleepcouch. He was still amazed they both had awoken so completely in such a short amount of time, but Nyssa’s touch always had a way prickling every nerve in his body into complete wakefulness. Oooh. “Yeah,” he agreed loosely For some reason, I just like the way you phrased that. Actually, after some thought, I think I know why I like it. You know how I'm learning Latin, right? Well, one of the things learning it (even as little as I know) has taught me, is to look carefully at words. The meaning, the connotation, everything. Things truly well-written can be savored, because things don't just make sense in the characterization and plot and all that - but the words used, too, can tell a person so much. Seriously! is not crazy, honest That little bit tells me that Daven is relaxed, and yet also shows this - progression. Daven's changed from his Jedi drone ways, after all. And somehow, this 'loose'ness just shows that. Concise, and yet, so meaningful if you pay attention. Your words say what they mean to say - none of this pretty, fancy, [face_bored] stuff which shows a huge vocabulary. So often when authors do that, it seems to be that they like placing words together in weird, unused ways, but don't really understand in a grounded way the meaning of the words they're using. Whereas when you use words well (and don't overdo your vocabulary), it's like good poetry - so little says so much. is weird! And babbling. The words were a declaration of Nyssa’s greatest phobia – she feared that he would leave her so deeply that a certain sort of panic laced her presence every time they fought. He never understood why she felt that way, even though he himself had once worried about much the same thing as a naïve and inexperienced lover to a woman quite the opposite. He often tried to comfort her, to assure her that no such thing would ever happen, and she could be calmed at the time, but her apprehension would only return again. Awww. But I liked this insight in Nyssa's character. It's tempting to make things all happiness and bliss, but people have these scars and habits they fall back to. I don't think Daven can understand how Nyssa's background has marked her - not with his own so carefully controlled. And I doubt he understands, either, how his has marked him. Jedi, I think, are encouraged to question themselves and their lives - within a certain framework. And so, there's always that blindness one always has about oneself. Though honestly, I think Nyssa is less vulnerable to that than he is. Just because. I forced myself to because I felt guilty – I was happy to see you and I didn’t feel I deserved to be. That is messed up. What a horrible universe! (Er, that they have to live in, not the story ... you know what I mean!) “Daddy!” A shock-filled whisper shot through the room, and Daven was unsure if Mara had spoken it or used the Force. It didn’t really matter; he stirred all the same. Stirred? Get your butt up there right NOW, buddy. (And I bet it's a cute butt. ) I liked the introspection about Telos. After that flashback, connecting it to the present. It just - fits in my head, all nice-like. Don't ask me to explain, 'cause I definitely can't. I heart this story to pieces. -----signature----- MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind. - teh atty my recent Atton (KOTOR2) fic: http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/30335989
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Happy_Hobbit_Padawan Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 2/10/05 10:17pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated Feb. 6)
	Darn. I knew I should have tried to get here before oba did. What else can I say but that loved it, as usual? There's a quality to your writing that at times makes me think I'm reading a pro author, with your characters and dialogue and all that other good stuff. worships I love your Mara, and her thoughts on dear old mom and dad. But you do know that the ending qualifies as a cliffhanger, right? -----signature----- Belaé, Handmaiden of the Crest Get jiggly with it at Jello Anarchy.
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VaderLVR64 Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 2/11/05 8:21am Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated Feb. 6)
	I'm really blown away by this story. I can't begin to express it. This is what fan fiction is supposed to be like when someone has a fine grasp of their craft. Lovely work! -----signature----- R.I.P John, Alex, Jason, and Christian Never forgotten Soldiers' Angels http://soldiersangels.org/ 2114 soldiers waiting for someone to care
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LianaMara Registered: Oct '00	Date Posted: 2/13/05 5:00pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated Feb. 6)
	New replies: Atty, you characterization of Mara here is marvelous. She's definitely a teenage, but still seems enough like EU Mara for me to not go "flpft" while reading. (please don't ask me to explain that ) And I love Daven/Nyssa mushy scenes, especially that one. The introspection felt very natural, and nicely done. And what's in that box-thing? Bad Atty, giving us cliffies! [beta in your PM box, dear ] Old replies: How does it feel? Is the sun suddenly brighter? I feel . . . warmer. I think it's because my lurking cave doesn't have any heat. Thanks! Professional? beams It's like I was reading a published novel. I love your writing style. Awesome! So the unexpected name thingie worked, huh? I wouldn’t know, since I already knew and Amsie spoiled all others side long glance at Amsie I’m glad the conclusion worked. I always worry that a story will loose luster and fizz out at the end. There were some points where I was like "hmmm, Daven has red hair. Maybe . . . naaah, I'm being paranoid." So it did rather hit me by surprise. Thanks Yeah, I’m beginning to know how those two work better than I know how my TV does. giggles -----signature----- "For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business." --T.S. Eliot Leilaé, handmaiden of the Crest \|\| petit Jedi enfant of obaona \|\| Lani & Lali's blonde triplet
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