Register | Login | Search | Help | New Boards | Harassment Policy | Rules of the JC | TOS | Markup Codes
Locked Topic | Read Only Topic | Previous Active Topic | Next Active Topic
Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 - Previous | Next | Reload
Author Topic: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated July 28, 2006)
Lt_Jaina_Solo  9263 posts
Registered: May '02
24167_Padme
Date Posted: 3/26/05 2:32pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated March 3)
Aww! This is absolutely wonderful, Atty! happy I love the interaction between the characters, and how wonderfully realistic this is. I love Mara: she's wonderfully sweet, but I can just think how much like her mother she is (and her daddy). Great job, and I can't wait for more!

Cheers,
Ire rose

 

-----signature-----
Handmaiden Irelynné, Handmaiden of the Crest
All links to stories in bio!
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
obaona  4725 posts
Registered: Jun '02
24174_Padme
Date Posted: 3/27/05 10:16pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated March 3)
I'm not obsessive. tongue




Ew, sorry, but I hate those types of stories, like when one chapter is written from one character and the second another. It just bugs me. I dunno, probably because it throws you out of the world of the story and reminds you that 1st person is just a form of writing. But you’ve written one I think, right? I don’t know, you probably made it work well

Agreed. That's exactly how it feels. And no, I haven't written one where it's first person and switches POV's. tongue

And I think Daven had a very good, strong relationship with his master, and, hopefully, we’ll get a peek at it at some point.

*hopeful too* love

Because it takes a lot of thought because he’s just so damn weird! And I’m afraid that I’m going to mess up some strange little detail

I love your strange little details. love

Well, do you see a Lei? Because I don’t. At least my feather’s still alive, buddy

I just about died laughing when I read that. laugh Point taken. blush

I don’t know. I am of the opinion that Obi-Wan didn’t show Anakin enough of the affection that he wanted. The poor boy goes a long saying, “I love you like a father, Master” and Obi-Wan doesn’t really know how to react to that. I think Daven would be strict because he loves her so much. The idea of her falling or not being properly trained is too much of a fear for him. He also knows who to bend the rules when need be and I think (oh, kill me, a Gerry Stu?!?) that he would have been a lot like Qui-Gon if he stayed in the order until that age. Not to say that anyone would have been capable of handling the Choosen One, but Obi-Wan clearly didn’t give Anakin want he needed.

I agree that Obi-Wan didn't show as much affection as Anakin wanted, but on the other hand, I don't really doubt that Anakin knows that Obi-Wan loves him. I think because Obi-Wan wasn't expressive about it that doubts and fears creep in more easily (as well as probably frustration with Obi-Wan as a Jedi and his teacher, and the Jedi as a whole), but I do think Anakin knew. And I think Obi-Wan's love for Anakin showed up in odder ways because he was a Jedi - in basically not reigning Anakin in when Anakin admits that he's practically ready to swoon over Padme, for example. He really only snaps at Anakin about her during that chase after Dooku, and he basically drops it after that. I mean, really. Obi-Wan's not that much of an idiot. He must have known something kinky was going on. tongue (Especially after the smooch in the hanger, Anakin being completely alone with her on a trip to Naboo ...) He might not have realized how far it would go (or had gone), but ... yeah. tongue I'd agree that Obi-Wan not being very affectionate probably didn't help, though.

I think Daven would have been a lot like Qui-Gon too, but nearly as openly - I want to say smirking - about his rebellion. Nor do I really see Daven as being as strong as Qui-Gon (either in the Force or with a lightsaber), but more personality-wise similar, y'know? tongue I think Qui-Gon got a lot with as much as he did because he was so powerful and respected. thinking


Yeah, I really wanted to reply to that ... been bugging me ever since you posted that. tongue

 

-----signature-----
MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind. mischief - teh atty
my recent Atton (KOTOR2) fic: http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/30335989
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Pallas-Athena  4206 posts
Title: TFN Fan Fiction Archive Editor
 Registered: Nov '00
24106_Callista
Date Posted: 4/9/05 1:39am Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated March 3) - Date Edited: 11/6/05 9:32pm (3 edits total) Edited By: Pallas-Athena
Ire: Thanks, my dear hugs

I love Mara: she's wonderfully sweet, but I can just think how much like her mother she is (and her daddy)

Lovely little demon, isn't that the best? devil


oba: Bum, and no I don't have a reason for saying that, you just are. Deal. tongue

And I think Obi-Wan's love for Anakin showed up in odder ways because he was a Jedi - in basically not reigning Anakin in when Anakin admits that he's practically ready to swoon over Padme, for example.

Maybe tongue I think he did care a lot for Anakin, but certainly didn't express it in a way that Anakin wanted. As far as Anakin's relationship with Padme, I'm going to have to disagree with you and say that Obi-Wan had simply completely lost control of the kid at that point. None of the methods of rearing a padawan he knew worked anymore tongue But we digress.

Nor do I really see Daven as being as strong as Qui-Gon (either in the Force or with a lightsaber), but more personality-wise similar, y'know? tongue I think Qui-Gon got a lot with as much as he did because he was so powerful and respected.

Yep, exactly. Of course, an AU, Order-survived Daven would probably run off and marry AU not-bounty-hunter-becoming Nyssa all the same. Fate, man wink


*****
Alderaan - Part Three

Fresh air. Now that had become a rarity of late. Not that he really minded spending weeks aboard the Gray Star and breathing in the dull, recycled oxygen all that much, but many of the planets they visited were polluted cyst-pools that he inwardly cringed about letting his daughter set foot upon.

Coruscant hadn’t been the greatest place to grow up either, Daven mused, but he and Nyssa had survived the air, at least.

Alderaan was something else, though, something else entirely. It was absolutely perfect.

They were directed to land the ship on the rim of the Zone, near a small settlement of stone and wooden buildings. They had been unspecific of their needs to the flight director, asking only of a tourist spot on the Zone. The woman had been helpful and kind, bringing up an onscreen list of possible towns that hosted guests and flew thrantas into the Zone. They had chosen this place – Charila Zonedistrict – randomly; it wasn’t the biggest nor the smallest, but had thranta tours.

It was little more than a village, snuggled in a narrow valley of grassy hills. The Zone stretched beyond its boarders, just over one of the sloops. Ship docks, which were surprising all but full, were located across the town and opposite the Zone – kept at distance as if the ion-burning engines were somehow unclean.

“It smells funny,” Mara noted, possibly picking up on her father’s thoughts.

“It’s the flowers, baby,” Nyssa told her. She was beautiful, his wife, as she always was, really, but today she was wearing a simple, tan colored dress – roughly woven and common on a thousand different worlds – and had placed her hair in a loose braid. Mara had her own hair in double braids, which was extraordinarily pretty, but hardly worth the screaming match that resulted from Nyssa catching one too many difficult tangles.

Daven’s eyes narrowed against the sun’s rays as he examined their new surroundings from the ship’s ramp. Blue, wide sky with small wisps of clouds. Rows of people, clothed in all sorts of garments, heading towards Charila. It was going to be crowded.

“Do you think we’ll find a guide?” Nyssa asked, noticing the amount of tourists.

“I don’t know. I don’t even know how this works, really,” he admitted. “Let’s just go into town. See the situation for ourselves.”

People were packed against people, and the going was slow. Nyssa had picked Mara up and held her above her hip. She grasped onto Daven with her free hand.

“Mommy,” Mara whispered after they were somewhere in the middle of the town, heading indirectly towards the Zone, “I have to go to the ’fresher.”

Nyssa sighed, but stopped all the same, and yanked on Daven’s hand.

“’Fresher time, kitten,” she told him. He nodded, pressing his lips together as he searched the quaint stone façades for any universal symbols of male and female. They walked unsurely a few more meters between the crowds before spotting a very familiar set of signs and a heading written in Basic.

“They may look like primitives, but I’ll be damned if that isn’t a very well placed ’fresher,” Nyssa said admiringly. “Okay, we’ll be back.” She headed towards the busy, two-door building.

“Wait,” Daven told her quickly, “while you’re doing that, I’ll see if I can get some information, tickets, or whatever we need here.”

“Sounds good,” she agreed. Splitting up these days seemed to be the only way the two of them managed to accomplish any task when Mara was involved.

Daven nodded and turned away, staring straight ahead at the overlaying hills. He couldn’t blame the other travelers for wanting to come here, even if they were proving to be a bit of a nuisance for him at the moment. He could barely see anything over their multi-colored and -shaped heads.

He moved a few steps forward, into the throng again, only to come out into a space rather free of people. He stood a minute and tried to find his bearings.

Suddenly, to his surprise, lithe arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him tight. He panicked for an instant and his heart raced – he knew it wasn’t Nyssa and there was, frankly, no one else alive that would know him well enough to hug him. He jumped away from the grip and whirled to face the one who had touched him.

It was a woman, perhaps the same age as he. She was short, but athletic, and her small frame was covered with a loose fitting, brown tunic and beige trousers. Her skin was tan and her hair long and chestnut, wrapped in several loops behind her head. Her black eyes were, at first, full of shock but were slowly beginning to hold look of utter embarrassment.

“Forgive me, I thought you were a friend of mine,” she said by way of apology. “You look so much like him.” Her accent and appearance were pure Alderaanian.

Daven smiled reassuringly. “No harm done.”

“You are not from here?” she asked, her eyes narrowing, observing his every movement. “You are a traveler, coming to pay homage to our lands?”

“Yes,” Daven admitted.

“I am Sisa,” she told him. “And you are from … I can guess everybody based on their voice alone, you see … you are from Coruscant, capital of the galaxy. Am I right?” She stared at him anxiously, hoping her guess would be correct.

“I’m from a lot of places,” Daven said wearily, unsure if he should so easily give her such information. Her face fell, assuming, probably, that her guess was incorrect and he was sparing her feelings.

Maybe it was his years spent with Nyssa and Mara, but it was getting harder and harder for him to deny a female anything. He sighed.

“I grew up on Coruscant, though.”

Sisa beamed and bobbed on the heels of her feet.

“Excellent. And your name?”

“Farin,” he lied. “Perhaps you can help me. It’s my daughter’s lifeday today and my wife and I were hoping to take a thranta tour …” He wondered if the emphasis on the word “wife” was really necessary, but, in his experience, it never hurt.

“How fortunate for both of us, then!” Sisa said, excited, apparently not at all aware of the significance of “wife.” “I am a thranta rider, and I can give you a tour of the Zone. I was not counting on any business today, since there will be a show later.”

“Is that what the all crowds are here for?”

Sisa nodded. “Should be great fun, but I’ve seen it all before. A much more perfect day it is to be out in the open air. You’ve made the right choice by opting for a tour.”

Daven nodded cautiously, but he felt no ill will radiating from this Sisa. She seemed genuinely pleased at his presence and was clearly hoping to earn a day’s pay honestly.

“We’ll take the tour, then.”

She smiled.

***

“Okay, find a glob of red,” Nyssa told herself as she scanned the crowd. Alderaanians were known for their usually dark features – brown hair and eyes – making a person like Daven stick out. But, to her dismay, people wandering through this town were an odd combination of blonds, brunettes, and, yes, redheads. She had gone up to a few men already only to find that none of them were her Daven.

So she and Mara waded through the human masses. Mara had been content to sit in her arms for while, but, after a few minutes, she began to wiggle uncontrollably and Nyssa thought it best to let the girl walk with her, hand in hand.

The crowds, if anything, seemed to be growing larger. Suffocatingly so – Nyssa was never one to enjoy being surrounded by people on all sides, she much rather preferred the solitude of her ship.

She wheeled back, trying to recover from an elbow jabbed against her shoulder. Gods, if only Alderaan allowed me to bring my blaster planetside, she thought, this would be so much easier.

There was another bump, this time against her hip, and she hopped back from it smoothly. But, when she regained her footing, there was something missing.

Mara was no longer holding her hand.

A crushing, unbearable panic filled her, and she was almost shaking. She looked down and around, searching for anything that even remotely resembled her daughter. Nothing.

Gods, oh, Gods. Force! Tears stung at her eyes until her vision began to blur.

“Mara!” she cried out as she forced her way through the crowd, shoving people away from her as she went. They seemed to realize what was happening, though, and moved out of her away, even if they could do nothing to help. “Mara!”

***

Aiya was an old woman, so it would seem. How many years she had seen the people come to her little town for the festival? So many that she could scarcely remember that she herself, as a young woman, had often flown in the show, on the back of prizing-winning thranta. What fun that had been.

Now, though, she was quite content to see her son do the same, while she sold small, handmade trinkets to the guests that came to Charila. Her weaving was of quality, and she made good credits.

She watched, bored, as all the people moved passed her stall. Some had paused momentarily to look at her stock, but there hadn’t been a sell all morning. Yet there was blessing in patience, or so she often told her son.

A doll, she noticed, had been kicked up the curb towards her. It lay on the ground, dirty, worn, and obviously much loved by some child. Aiya stared at it, wondering whether a certain little girl was crying for it right now.

To her surprise, a redheaded child appeared, popping out of the throng. She ran to the abandoned doll and scooped it up with a focused energy that only one her age could produce. But, when her task had been completed – clearly the only thing on her mind at the time – her eyes widened, and she stared into the large crowd of empty faces.

The poor thing looked …

“Sweetie,” Aiya called out before the little girl was swept up into the moving horde once more. She vacated her booth and reached out a hand to the scared girl.

The girl seemed to hesitate for a moment as she looked deeply into Aiya’s eyes. A strange sensation passed through the old woman – a shuddering passing down into her bones – and then the girl came forward.

“Are you lost?” Aiya asked as they moved back toward the calm of the booth. The girl looked around, as a last attempt at finding her family, and then nodded. Her face was slowly becoming red, and Aiya knew that there would soon be tears. “Okay,” she tried to soothe. “It will be okay. Just come sit with me, your mom will see you.”

There was a department of lost children specifically designed for tourists, but it was located on the far side of the city. Aiya could take the girl down there, she imagined, if she locked up her stall. Moving in the crowd, however, would take some time, though, and it seemed more likely that the mother would still be on this side of the town. Not to mention that she probably wouldn’t immediately know to go to the department.

It would be best to wait and see if the mother found her way here.

“What’s your name, sweetie?” she asked, sitting back down on the stall’s bench and feeling her tired muscles sigh in relief. The girl bit her lip and glanced down at her doll.

“Mara,” she said softly.

“All right, Mara,” Aiya patted her shoulder. There were no tears yet, apparently – this little Mara was a brave child. Aiya could only hope, though, that some cruel parent hadn’t abandoned her. She had heard of people doing that in busy crowds.

The girl looked not so much like a main stream Alderaanian from other parts of the planet, but her resemblance was somewhat like a Thranta-rider native to a place like this village. Aiya didn’t know her, however, and she certainly knew every child here. That left only an offworld family; Aiya had seen such coloring in visitors before. Perhaps the mother’s features would also be so easy to spot.

The crowd slowly waned and thickened a few times as they watched, and the minutes passed. Mara’s face stayed focused on the street, looking for one familiar face.

“So, do you like dolls?” Aiya asked. She knew it would do the child no good to stand there and fret.

Mara glanced up at her and nodded, but not without first pulling her own toy closer to her chest.

“Ah, good.” The old woman smiled. “I make dolls to give to good little girls like you. Would you like to see one?” Children’s eyes always lit up at the mention of new toys, no matter how difficult a situation they faced, and Mara was no exception.

Aiya reached under her main table and dug around in the half full storage crate. She had decided to display her hand-blown glass thranta statuettes and kirngrass-braided blankets rather than the dolls today, but now she was beginning to wonder if that had been the best decision.

She pulled out a soft, familiar doll and handed it to the girl. It was in the shape of a small thranta – tourists often liked to remember their visit by buying such things – but, unlike the dolls that could be bought in the bigger towns, Aiya always insisted that hers would be made of the softest, natural materials that grew around the village.

Mara examined the stuffed thranta carefully, running a lone finger along its wingspan. Then she took it from Aiya’s hand slowly and held it against her face, feeling the smooth fabric rub along her cheek.

“You like it, yes?” Aiya asked. “You can have it, then,” she added before the girl had a chance to answer. She could have expected to fetch a good deal of credits for it, usually, but this Mara needed some comfort and Aiya was willing to give it. She had never had a daughter herself, only sons, and she often enjoyed watching the young girls of the town play with the dolls she worked so hard to make.

Mara was completely enthralled with the miniature thranta and her mind seemed to be at ease.

“Mara!” A blonde woman emerged from the crowd, rushing forward towards Aiya’s little stand. The girl looked up, shocked at first, but her face quickly turned to an expression of pure joy.

“Mommy!”

The two embraced hurriedly and the mother picked Mara up, wrapping her arms around the girl tightly. If her old eyes did not fail her, Aiya could have sworn that the poor woman was shaking.

Understandable. She would have, too, had it been her child.

After the woman had calmed down, she seemed to become aware of her surroundings and of Aiya gazing at them happily from her bench.

“You are the girl’s mother?” she asked in a pleasant voice.

“Yes,” the woman admitted, still holding her daughter close.

Before the mother could ask her any questions, Aiya decided it was best to give her answers to the most obvious ones freely. “Young Mara found her way to my booth here to retrieve her doll. She was a very good girl and waited for you to come find her.”

“You looked after her?” At Aiya’s nod, the woman seemed as if she was about to cry. Her eyes became watery and her voice was hoarse as she spoke her next words. “Thank you so much. I don’t know what I would have done … I …” She trailed off and buried her face in Mara’s hair.

“Yes, yes,” Aiya waved her hand casually as if stopping young girls from being lost in the crowd was a daily occurrence for her. “Glad to be of help.”

The mother didn’t respond to her, but turned her attention back to Mara. The girl was clenching to her, her head no more than a mop of red against the woman’s shoulder.

“Why did you do that, Mara?” the mother whispered at moment later. “Why did you let go of my hand?” Aiya watched with interest, most women would have panicked, yelled at their daughters, even. But this one had patience. Admirable.

“Sorry, mommy. Sorry, sorry,” Mara sobbed. Aiya could barely hear the small voice through the fabric.

“I thought I lost you,” the woman breathed, pulling at Aiya’s own heart. “And on your lifeday, too.”

Aiya spoke up again when she realized that soon all three of them would be weeping uncontrollably in the middle of a public street. “Lifeday? How exciting!”

The woman looked back at her, surprised as if she forgot that the old woman was even there. She recovered gracefully and smiled gently.

“You can consider the little thranta a gift then, no?” she asked. How pleasant, indeed. The girl’s day would turn out all right, even after such a stressful morning.

“Thranta?” The mother looked confused until Mara revealed the small toy still clutched in her palm.

“I make many things. Dolls among them,” Ayia told her. There was no hint of pride in her voice nor trepidation, just the statement of a clear fact.

The mother took the toy, studying it as she turned it around in her hands. Her fingers – delicate but decisive – surveyed the fabric with a calculated precision. What she was looking for exactly, Aiya could not tell.

“Surely, you can’t mean to just give this away,” she finally said. “It’s very well made. I’ll pay you for it. How much?”

Aiya noticed out of the corner of her eye little Mara’s slight hopping up and down – clearly excited that she’d keep the thranta in every given circumstance.

“Nonsense, please.” The older woman waved her hand once more, dismissively. And Mara’s mother stared at her with a blank expression. Confused, as if she had never before had a stranger perform a single act of kindness for her.

“Thank you,” she said gratefully, sincerely, looking straight into Aiya’s eyes. Her stare was direct, intense – much like her daughter’s had been earlier. Aiya found herself lost in it, like a black hole she couldn’t escape from.

“Daddy!” Mara cried out, breaking their gazes. The girl slipped away from her mother’s grip and ran towards a man.

“Daven?” Aiya heard the woman whisper almost subconsciously as both pairs of eyes turned to watch the redheaded man scoop Mara up into his arms.

Daven. Aiya was never one to believe that one single event, one single word could change someone’s entire life. But that was, of course, until this very moment.

Daven said something to Mara’s mother, but the words were blurred no less obsurely than Aiya’s vision. Her breathing became rough, shallow, uneven.

It just couldn’t be.

The small family seemed oblivious to her distress and continued its greetings. Aiya remembered Daven turning to her and thanking her with a kind voice. She responded, she knew, but she wasn’t sure what specific words she had used.

Her mind was tangled – a thousand thoughts wrapped around one.

And then he was gone. Or leaving, actually. She blinked away her first tears as Mara, with her arms wrapped around her father’s neck and chin propped on his shoulder, waved a farewell to her. She waved back mindlessly.

After a few minutes, the storm in Aiya’s head cleared and she stood to lock up her stall.

She then made her way into the dense crowd, heading towards the arena.

 

-----signature-----
Do you ever get bored and find yourself scrolling down a thread just to read the signatures? confused
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Alethia  8640 posts
Registered: Feb '05
Date Posted: 4/9/05 2:43pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated April 9th)
So, did you perfer another girl for Luke? Like Callista? or was he better solo?


Callista was the one in the computer, right? It's been five years since I've touched the EU... Anyway, I didn't really have feelings on her either way. Sort of like Mara. I think that at the time (I was thirteen), I just wasn't really into romance/mush. Of course, the L/M dislike stayed with me through the years. I tried to read a NJO once like two years ago, and I still remember making a face at the L/M in it. So maybe it just wasn't the mush. Oh, I guess I really don't care who Luke is with. I am warming up to Mara now, and with Callista, well, don't really care. He can be solo or with either one of them, won't really bother me. Just don't expect me to read any heavy L/M shipping fics. But fics with it as a sub plot are okay, I guess. It's weird though- usually I'm more opinionated on who's with who, but with Luke I've never really cared...

Except that he wasn't with Mara.

But yeah, I'm expanding my horizons. It isn't so bad anymore...

I got know what canon Mara's childhood was really like, but I'm planning that my fic will produce a Mara that has the same confidence but is more selfless.

Uh, how? I though Mara was a character that appeared only in the post ROTJ EU and not much was gone into about her past, except that she had one Jedi parent.

So what made you decide to read this one, if you don’t mind me asking?

Good question. Well, if the story advertises characters or something I like, then I'll click on it and give it a shot. Or, like in the case of this one, when it just says AU, it catches my interest, because I have no clue what it's about and hey- it might be good. So I clicked on it and started reading and got drawn into it and here I am...

I sort of half way have written original fics, but, you know … it’s not so much out of laziness, really, but the SW universe is so much fun to play in and you have an instant audience.

That is true- it certainly is fun to play around in other authors' universes. The thing I like about writing original work is that it's my playground, so to speak. I can do anything I want with it and no one can yell at me for making characters OOC or screwing up details, because, heck, I made it. On the other hand, feedback is hard to get. Sites like fictionpress.com are a joke- you don't get half the readers that you do with fan fic. There's one site I really like, it's a message board actually, and there we all write original fic and discuss it. We also can post troublesome chapters and short stories and other excerpts for comments and we are actually pretty good about giving feedback. But not as much as you'd get with fan fic. And we also have to be careful, because publishers don't want novels that have already been published (and posting on the internet counts as publishing).

I never plan to write professionally, anyway – now that’s out of sheer laziness.

I'd like to get things published someday, but to do that, I have to actually finish something. And I haven't managed to do that yet. I have about fifteen original novels in various degress of writing, but none of them are even close to being finished. And that's probably because I'm just too lazy to do so...

I’m fairly horrible with leaving good feedback because I can never think of much to say.

I was that way at first. Actually, until I started posting here, I was terrible at leaving feedback. But now I've gotten a bit better. I keep Notepad open and as I'm reading, jot down thoughts sometimes. I also try to analyze certain aspects and compare certain things and praising the author for certain points is also a good thing, in my book. And if there's something wrong, be it grammar, characterization, spelling, typos, whatever, I try to politely bring it up and give a suggestion on how it might be fixed.

But yes, sometimes it's hard to think of things to say. So I'll usually try my best or come back later after I've had the chance to think more about it and leave a review then.

A lot of drama could have been generated from such an issue, but I thought that it would be something that Nyssa want despite the danger, and Daven would, if nervously, agree.

Yes, I can definitely see Nyssa being the one to push for it and Daven hesitantingly agreeing. In Nysaa's view, it's best to have control of all the weapons that you are given, I'd assume. And Force powers would count as a weapon- learning how to read people's minds and do mind tricks and use the Force to lift things and move things and stuff- all skills that seem quite handy for a bounty hunter to have. And Daven, the purges are probably still on his mind, as well as Vader and the Emperor. He knows that it probably is best if Mara learns her abilities, but there is the danger of the Sith finding out...

Yeah, the Jedi are completely aware that people naturally love, so I think they would try to make it easier to resist those feelings if they weren’t exposed to affection regularly. Best way to do it, methinks, even as it doesn’t actually stop them from feeling it.

Yes, that probably would be the best way. Though it also seems to have caused problems itself, like in the case of Anakin, who had been exposed to love and then was sent to this group who was trying not to show affection. But in Daven's case, where he has been raised by the Order, it would probably work- and it did, in the way he had a hard time opening up to Nyssa and showing his feelings.


Now on to the fic...

It is funny how something that should be so ordinary- fresh air- is treated as this strange thing that they experience only rarely. It really shows a

Coruscant hadn’t been the greatest place to grow up either, Daven mused, but he and Nyssa had survived the air, at least.

I love that line for some reason. Not really sure why, but I do...

And Mara thinking that flowers smel funny. Heh. She really has had a different life. Her parents are both bounty hunters, she's probably grown up on that spacehip and assorted planets and therefore Alderaan must realy be a shock for her, because things like flowers, things we take for granted, seem so strange to her...

I loved Nysaa's thought about bringing her blaster planetside. Definitely Nyssa- shooting someone and making a scene because she can't find her husband.

And Mara was so sweet being lost. I loved the way you wrote her, leaving Nyssa to find the doll and then Aiya helping her out. I really do like Mara in this. She's so sweet when she's little.

Nysaa's despair was also interesting to see as well. Nyssa's this tough woman, and yet losing Mara reduces her to any normal woman who has lost a child, shaking when they have found her. Well done. And I also liked the way Aiya giving the doll to her was so strange to her. Nyssa has gone through a lot, you can tell...

Sisa and Aiya I both really liked. Does Aiya recognising Daven have anything to do with Sisa thinking he was someone else? Did Daven perhaps come from Alderaan? I mean, he wasn't born in the Jedi Temple, he had to have come from somewhere. And it just seems a bit too coincidental that he'd be mistaken by two women in the same town on the same day.

And I wonder what that festival thing is. Hmm...does that also play a role?

Anyway, I really liked this chapter and I was so glad to see you update. Excellent job. And I can't wait for more, especially since there are all these unanswered questions now...

 

-----signature-----
Jen, High Scholar and Ponderer of all Things Verily Blue, and Official caller of Suz, Crusader of Heretics and Knight of the Blue 1000
Now sacrificing Movie Garfield
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Happy_Hobbit_Padawan  1692 posts
Registered: Feb '03
6637_Padme
Date Posted: 4/9/05 11:25pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated April 9th)
Yay, a new postie! grin hugs

Loved it, of course. It's so easy to feel what the characters are going through in your stories. And I agree with Alethia - it is odd that two people seem to know Daven. Especially that second woman, Aiya - how does she know him? I've told you this before, Miss Atty: cliffhangers are teh evil and, in my most humble opinion, this postie qualifies as a cliffhanger. angry tongue

I got a chance to read this chapter this morning before I went to work, and I think it had an affect on my day. shock I came across a lost child and talked with her while we waited for her parents. And she was 5, and it was her birthday, too. shock

 

-----signature-----
Belaé, Handmaiden of the Crest
batting
Get jiggly with it at Jello Anarchy.
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
obaona  4725 posts
Registered: Jun '02
24174_Padme
Date Posted: 5/6/05 12:09am Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated April 9th)
Bum, and no I don't have a reason for saying that, you just are. Deal.

You're prophetic. I'm a bum for not replying sooner. tongue

They had been unspecific of their needs to the fight director, asking only of a tourist spot on the Zone.

Or their flight director? mischief

I like how you begin the post, with this sunny brightness being so unfamiliar to them. Especially Mara, growing up in space and all. tongue The 'it smells funny' made me grin. grin And Nyssa acts like such a mother, which is still a little ... not quite surprising, but intriguing. I think she likes motherhood. She seems to take to it (just a personal observation, not sure where it comes from) more so than Daven, though Daven obviously loves Mara deeply.

Nyssa sighed, but stopped all the same, and yanked on Daven’s hand.

I like that she yanks. grin

Maybe it was his years spent with Nyssa and Mara, but it was getting harder and harder for him to deny a female anything. He sighed.

LMAO. He's been well-trained. Sort of. I don't think Nyssa would like Daven being so easily manipulated by a female other than her or Mara. mischief

Sisa beamed and bobbed on the heels of her feet.

Just from a writer's perspective, I like that description. Original and yet vivid. grin

A crushing, unbearable panic filled her, and she was almost shaking.

sad I can't imagine that feeling of having lost your child, how terrifying that must be. Especially considering Nyssa's background - we don't think about it often (we normal citizens tongue ), but I'm sure Nyssa knows exactly how wrong things can go, and how horrible of situations children can be in. Daven, similarily, must know that. I wonder if that makes them more protective of Mara, as well as making them more likely to thoroughly train her to protect herself.

The girl seemed to hesitate for a moment as she looked deeply into Aiya’s eyes. A strange sensation passed through the old woman – a shuddering passing down into her bones – and then the girl came forward.

One of the hardest things to do is to have something happen that has great significance to the reader, and little to the character. grin Mara might have gotten her Force-sensitivity from her father, but I bet she gets her instincts from her mother. mischief

I liked Aiya immediately, by the way. You don't 'force' us to like her. You make her a character, with her own thoughts and plans and thinking about bringing Mara to the lost child center or whatever. And it just works brilliantly, a la Atty. grin

“Why did you do that, Mara?” the mother whispered at moment later. “Why did you let go of my hand?” Aiya watched with interest, most women would have panicked, yelled at their daughters, even. But this one had patience. Admirable.

In some ways, I think Nyssa has a lot of self-control. thinking Really, this just fits somehow, into Nyssa's character, as you developed her from the original Eluding into this mother, and wife. A very interesting transition, and one intriguing to see. grin

“Thank you,” she said gratefully, sincerely, looking straight into Aiya’s eyes. Her stare was direct, intense – much like her daughter’s had been earlier. Aiya found herself lost in it, like a black hole she couldn’t escape from.

No, Nyssa's reactions are never quite going to be the norm. wink But her life hasn't been, and she shouldn't even be so, not given her circumstances, and the danger her husband and daughter are just by existing. Nyssa, I think, is given to respond to things thoroughly, not with the half-distracted, 'whatever' attitude a lot of people have. Because that kind of distracted, not-paying-attention kind of outlook would be dangerous for her (and Mara). Naturally it'd extend, I think, to saying thank you.

And then he was gone. Or leaving, actually. She blinked away her first tears as Mara, with her arms wrapped around her father’s neck and chin propped on his shoulder, waved a farewell to her. She waved back mindlessly.

After a few minutes, the storm in Aiya’s head cleared and she stood to lock up her stall.

She then made her way into the dense crowd, heading towards the arena.

Darling, what an ending to the post. I can't wait (well, I can, and I'll wait as long as I have to, as long as I get it) for the next post. grin Very intriguing. I can't wait to see where you take things, and where the girl that Daven met plays into these things. It certainly seems like the Force is at work here. mischief

More, please. batting

hugs hugs hugs

 

-----signature-----
MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind. mischief - teh atty
my recent Atton (KOTOR2) fic: http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/30335989
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Pallas-Athena  4206 posts
Title: TFN Fan Fiction Archive Editor
 Registered: Nov '00
24106_Callista
Date Posted: 5/19/05 1:05am Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated April 9th)
Alethia: It's weird though- usually I'm more opinionated on who's with who, but with Luke I've never really cared...

Interesting thinking Are you a big Luke fan in general? A lot of it could be that you never actually get to see Luke and Mara together in the films the way you do H/L and A/P. And the actress/model whatever that plays Mara in the pics is a bit funny looking, at least to me.

Uh, how? I though Mara was a character that appeared only in the post ROTJ EU and not much was gone into about her past, except that she had one Jedi parent.

She was brought to Palpy when she was 4 to be trained by the best (you’d have to ask one of the EU buffs what book that was stated, hells if I remember tongue ). So her childhood consisted of training, learning, and not much playing. It was never stated that she had any Jedi parents only that she barely remembers them.

Or, like in the case of this one, when it just says AU, it catches my interest, because I have no clue what it's about and hey- it might be good.

Heehee. Funny that, by the title, I meant mainly that it was an AU of the Eluding fic rather than just AU as its genre because Daven gets to live. But, yeah, that gets to make it an AU in general wink

I keep Notepad open and as I'm reading, jot down thoughts sometimes.

Huh. That’s a pretty good idea thinking

In Nysaa's view, it's best to have control of all the weapons that you are given, I'd assume. And Force powers would count as a weapon

Yes, exactly. She knows the only reason Daven is able to beat her in a fight is because he uses the Force. She wouldn’t mind, I’m sure, if there were no purges, to have a few of his tricks.

I love that line for some reason. Not really sure why, but I do...

Heehee, I do too for some unknown reason.

I loved Nysaa's thought about bringing her blaster planetside. Definitely Nyssa- shooting someone and making a scene because she can't find her husband.

Nyssa and her blasters. She’s the sort of person that believes everything would be better if she had a good blaster at her side. wink

I really do like Mara in this. She's so sweet when she's little.

Little kids can be so cute and so evil at the same time. wink

Nyssa's this tough woman, and yet losing Mara reduces her to any normal woman who has lost a child, shaking when they have found her. Well done. And I also liked the way Aiya giving the doll to her was so strange to her. Nyssa has gone through a lot, you can tell...

Like any person, Nyssa has a few soft spots, one is for her family. I think her worst fear is leaving her daughter like her mother left her. Not that she doesn’t know that Daven would be there, but it’s a protective feeling that she just can’t shake.

Sisa and Aiya I both really liked.

Good, because I fear making annoying OCs. worried Not that there’s anything anyone can do about it because this is an OC fic, but still …

Does Aiya recognising Daven have anything to do with Sisa thinking he was someone else? Did Daven perhaps come from Alderaan? I mean, he wasn't born in the Jedi Temple, he had to have come from somewhere. And it just seems a bit too coincidental that he'd be mistaken by two women in the same town on the same day.

Hmmm. Yeah …. thinking

And I can't wait for more, especially since there are all these unanswered questions now...

Unanswered questions are so much fun …. mischief



Bel: I've told you this before, Miss Atty: cliffhangers are teh evil and, in my most humble opinion, this postie qualifies as a cliffhanger.

You know you love them! devil

I came across a lost child and talked with her while we waited for her parents. And she was 5, and it was her birthday, too.

shock That is like the ultimate serendipity. It must have been a weird experience. *continues to ponder*



oba: You're prophetic. I'm a bum for not replying sooner.

You see? You admit to your supreme bum-ness!

Or their flight director?

Bum. The second you wanna beta this, say it tongue (‘cause Lei hath disappeared sad )

The 'it smells funny' made me grin.

They do smell funny! wink

She seems to take to it (just a personal observation, not sure where it comes from) more so than Daven, though Daven obviously loves Mara deeply.

I think, deep down, Nyssa always wanted to follow her own mother and become a mother, even as the career choice of bounty hunter sort of dissuaded it. Daven, on the other hand, never in his wildest dreams thought he was going to be a parent. Takes some getting used to.

I like that she yanks.

mischief

I don't think Nyssa would like Daven being so easily manipulated by a female other than her or Mara.

Heeehee, probably not wink

I can't imagine that feeling of having lost your child, how terrifying that must be. Especially considering Nyssa's background - we don't think about it often (we normal citizens), but I'm sure Nyssa knows exactly how wrong things can go, and how horrible of situations children can be in.

Totally. She’s probably seen the worst of things that we don’t even want to imagine.

I wonder if that makes them more protective of Mara, as well as making them more likely to thoroughly train her to protect herself.

It must be a fine line they have to walk – protecting her from pain, but making sure she can live in the galaxy by herself some day.

One of the hardest things to do is to have something happen that has great significance to the reader, and little to the character.

Heehee. I thought it was a little obvious, but what does Aiya know, anyway? wink

I liked Aiya immediately, by the way. You don't 'force' us to like her. You make her a character, with her own thoughts and plans and thinking about bringing Mara to the lost child center or whatever. And it just works brilliantly, a la Atty.

Glad you liked her. Worried that you guys would be annoyed by the introductions of more characters. She’ll have a significant role to play, especially in this little ficlet of the story. So if she’s hated then, umm … blush a la Atty? Je suis my own style!

In some ways, I think Nyssa has a lot of self-control.

Yeah, she does. She tends to analyze whatever situation she’s in and knows the best course of action and reaction. She knows Mara already feels awful and yelling won’t solve anything. Just like she admits to herself that she’s head over heels in love with Daven: “Well, damn, just going to have to risk everything to be with him. Will do”

Because that kind of distracted, not-paying-attention kind of outlook would be dangerous for her (and Mara). Naturally it'd extend, I think, to saying thank you.

Yep, and again with her analyzing. She wants to know why somebody would give her a doll, what this strange person’s motives might be. If she just shrugs it off, then it could cause trouble later.

Darling, what an ending to the post.

Bel called it evil, I believe grin

Well, I’ve been a bit busy lately (read: lazy) and took my time on getting this next post finished. Obaona just had a successful surgery and demanded that I post as soon as possible (probably because she doesn’t have much else to do besides sitting there and healing). So, since I love her so, the new post will be out sometime tomorrow, or later today, depending on how you view the principles time. It’s finished, so why not now, you ask? Because it isn’t perfect yet, and, since it’s dedicated to teh oba, it should be.

 

-----signature-----
Do you ever get bored and find yourself scrolling down a thread just to read the signatures? confused
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Pallas-Athena  4206 posts
Title: TFN Fan Fiction Archive Editor
 Registered: Nov '00
24106_Callista
Date Posted: 5/19/05 2:28pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated April 9th)
A/N: A bit of a disclaimer - thrantas are canon SW animals native to Alderaan. Most of the info about riding them I researched, while other things were logically inferred. I've never seen a fic that employed them, so I thought this might be a nice change of pace.

The idea of a different genetic Alderaanian race, however, was completely my own design. The idea hit me while a few of my friends were discussing a pic of Queen Brenha (sp?) and how her features were dark like Jimmy Smits'. This led us to wonder if Alderaanians where a dark race in GL's mind. But, then, naturally, of course, we wondered where fairhaired Alderaanians like the EU characters Winter and Tycho came from. This, though, is not so much my attempt to answer that question rather than what came of thinking about it ...

***

Alderaan – Part Four

She was beautiful – blonde with long legs, small waist, and a perfect face. That fact shouldn’t have surprised Sisa, but she couldn’t help but be unnerved by it. Farin was an attractive man and deserved no less, yet she still wished, almost unconsciously, that someone like him would find a boring girl like her beautiful.

But she could only believe that she wasn’t – Davick had implied as much. She was short, boxy, boyish to an extreme. How often had he said to her, simply in passing, more of a compliment than anything else, “Sisa, you fly like a boy”?

He didn’t mean anything by it, she was sure; he was her best friend, after all. But still, it seemed …

Sisa sighed, trying to clear her head. Her life had nothing to do with Farin and his family. His wife – what was her name? – was kind, if reserved, despite her extraordinary looks. And their little girl was an absolute dream of a child. Sisa fell in love with her the second they met. If only she could be so lucky to have such a daughter.

“Knoggles!” she called out as she led the family into a dusty wooden shack of a building. It was an old but durable place, which served as the town’s navigation station. She leaned on the waist-high counter and waited, staring at the piles of poorly organized datapads and charts. She heard her guests moving slowly around the room, exploring it, but she didn’t turn back to them. “Knoggles!”

Knoggles came out of the back room. He was a heavyset man, retired, who had offered to take the thankless job of Chief Navigation Advisor some years ago. Sisa liked him well enough, but he was prone to sleep and lay about at inopportune times. Like now.

“Sisa?” he questioned, confusion running across his wrinkled features. “Is there something wrong at the festival?” Sisa opened her mouth to speak, but Knoggles noticed the guests before she had the chance to explain. “You’re taking out a tour, then?”

Sisa nodded and smiled over her shoulder at the small group. “Not everyone is interested in drooling at fancy flying. Some would rather have a good trip.”

“Heh,” the old man chucked. “Some would say that you’re still irritated that you didn’t make the show’s cut this year.”

“Pasis is a lair and a cheater; we all know it,” she said in a whisper before she thought to bite her tongue. She looked back to the family, embarrassed by her near outburst, but they hadn’t seemed to notice. “Anyway. It’s a fine day out in the Zone, I’m sure. Standard one-day itinerary. I think following the river up and then taking the pass through the valley back.”

He nodded rhythmically as she spoke, easily agreeing with everything she said. He pulled out a datachip from a nondescript, otherwise unidentifiable pile and handed it to her. She inserted it into her navpad.

The navpad was a convenient tool, no larger than a datapad, but containing a navigational system that would locate its holder anywhere on Alderaan to within a half meter. The elders scoffed at their use, even though the technology had been available when they were infants. It was the principle of the matter, more so, and young riders would challenge each other to ride without them.

The course through the Zone appeared on screen and Sisa had to agree with Knoggles’ choice. “Looks good.”

Knoggles entered her information on his personal pad. “Unless things change soon, you’ll be the only party out there. At least none of the other towns have reported any trips. I guess the festival has kept everyone here. All right, pic time.”

Sisa turned back to Farin and his wife. They looked curious – not at all bored like the other tourists she had hosted in the past – and she began to fear just how much they had overheard.

“We have to take your holopics before we leave.”

“Why?” the wife asked, suspicious.

“Security,” Sisa answered, hoping that it would be adequate.

“So we can tell the other riders what you look like in case your bird goes down in the middle of the Zone,” came Knoggles’ sarcastic reply.

“Knoggles!” she shouted in protest. The man could be rude if he wanted, but trying to scare people? He simply had no boundaries.

“Knowing you, Sisa, it might.” He laughed when her face scrunched.

“How charming,” Farin said dryly before she could rebuke him. “Let’s take some pics, then.” Sisa smiled; she couldn’t help but like this man.

***

“We do not pin our thrantas up,” Sisa told them as they walked onto a skylift on the outskirts of the town. “They are more at peace when they are free. They know where their homes are, though, and the people that care for them. They cannot land – it is a pain to do so – we board them in the air instead. My mount is called Varmir. It will take me a few minutes to saddle her; you don’t mind, do you?”

“No, not at all,” Daven said, smiling politely.

Nyssa watched the woman, amused, but trying to be jealous even as the emotion wouldn’t come. Sisa was obviously attracted to her husband. Why and how deep weren’t exactly clear, but her constant eye contact and her addresses to him and only him made it evident. Daven may have realized it, but he was acting oblivious to her behavior and didn’t even remotely return her subtle flirtations.

The skylift shot up nearly ten meters in just as many seconds, but wasn’t any sort of taxing journey for a family used to hyperspace travel. They exited the lift onto a floating platform overlooking the clear skies. Herds of thrantas flew past, swooping near them as if expecting to be called. Nyssa smiled as she felt Mara’s grip on her hand tighten. She looked down to see wide, excited eyes.

“We’re going to ride on one of those?”

“Yes, baby.”

“Varmir is very big,” Sisa told them, directing her words towards Mara. “She’s a Balana thranta. But don’t be scared because she’s very friendly.” She pulled out a small whistle and blew on it, creating an almost inaudible whine that echoed through Nyssa’s ears.

They awaited a fraction of a minute before a large shadow loomed over them, circling towards the side of the platform.

While she wasn’t ready to admit it to her daughter, this was the first time Nyssa had seen a thranta outside of a holobook. It was huge up close – at least ten meters wide with a wing span at least three times that. It didn’t look like any traditional bird she had ever seen before – no feathers, no beak. In fact, with its scaly hide and wide, gaping mouth, it resembled a reptile more than an avian.

As the creature neared, a single flap of its wings generated a rush of air so great that Nyssa almost took a step back. It was much akin to the replusor engine jets on older landcruisers.

There was a complementary wind gust just then, created by a generator on the platform. It shot up into the sky, directly under the thranta’s hovering form. The thranta balanced herself against it and stretched her wings out into an even line, allowing the fans to hold her nearly motionless in the sky.

“There are legends,” Sisa stated, yelling over the whine of the winds as she entered her access code into the side panel of a mechanical crane, “that it took countless generations to tame thrantas to be able to tolerate these platforms and airmovers. Before, thranta riders would climb to the highest cliffs and jump to their mounts as they flew by. Saddle-less and bareback.”

Nyssa chewed her lip. It was a fascinating mental image, she had to admit, even if Sisa’s telling sounded automated. Mara’s imagination was clearly captivated, though, and that was enough for her.

The crane’s claw griped onto one of the many saddles lining the far side of the platform. Its movements were programmed to be exact and Sisa had little to do with manual operation. She watched the proceedings carefully, however, obviously making sure that no harm befell her thranta from the mechanics.

“The first people that successfully tamed thrantas were called Thranta Riders,” Sisa continued once she noticed that her audience was clearly enthralled with the story. “They were responsible for designing these systems and acclimating the thrantas to them. For most of memorable history, Thranta Riders passed down their taming secrets to their children, generation after generation. These families became known for their thranta skills. We still have a few families left in Charila that can trace their heritage back to the original riders.”

“Are you from one of those families?” Nyssa asked, knowing that the progression to this question was natural and expected, but she was still curious. She wondered how this Sisa would not only boast of her riding ability but also of her fine genetic makeup.

“No, I am not, I’m afraid,” Sisa said, surprising her. “Several generations ago, Alderaan as a whole began to appreciate what the pleasures of owning and riding could be. They coaxed members of the families to divulge their secrets or move up North to ride their thrantas in shows or maintain ranches.

“Before then, the Thranta Riders were their own distinct people – rural and culturally backwards compared to the rest of Alderaan. But, when thrantas became more and more popular, they found themselves intermarrying and mixing with the rest of Alderaan. It also became more acceptable for non-Thranta Riders to leave their cities and move here. That’s what my parents did after they finished their terms at university.” Sisa then paused, watching as the saddle was fastened to her mount by a set of wiry arms.

“We’re almost ready to go,” she noted. To Nyssa’s surprise, she then stepped out directly onto the creature’s wing. Her pace was slow and steady as she walked towards the saddle, which was much like a cockpit of a landspeeder, if Nyssa would be forced to describe it. The thranta made no movement either way – obviously showing confidence in the woman on her wing.

Sisa kneeled down and tugged at one of the many straps that bound the saddle to the animal, checking to make sure it was completely secure. Satisfied that it was, she stood and gestured to the family to come out onto the wing.

“Come, it is totally safe,” she reassured them. “If you happen to fall – which has never happened before – the airmovers are strong enough to hold your weight. Children will even come up and play in the winds when there are no mounts here – to pretend that they can fly. I won’t recommend it now, though.”

Nyssa turned to Daven and only received a shrug as a reply, but Mara was nearly half on the wing before Nyssa pulled her back. She was pretty sure that her daughter was going to aim for the air rather than the saddle, but she couldn’t very well be scolded for thinking of doing something rather than actually doing it.

Daven grabbed Mara and hoisted her on his shoulder. He was probably also aware of Mara’s intent, but he wouldn’t bother to comment on it one way or another.

All it took him was a few quick strides to reach the saddle. Nyssa took a deep breath and followed. While she was by no means afraid of heights, she still made a note not to look down.

Once they were all sitting and strapped in, Sisa blew on her whistle once more and the thranta glided forward slowly. Sensing that weight had been removed, the generator shut down, leaving the thranta to support herself fully.

She did, and the first thrust of the creature’s wings up left Nyssa’s heart in her throat, but it was an exhilarating feeling nonetheless. Soon the breeze struck their faces and blew through their hair. The skylift was far from view and there was nothing to greet them but the open green fields of the Zone.

Mara peered down in wonder, straining her neck to see the small shapes of trees beneath them. The look on her face made Nyssa smile – excitement, wonder, happiness.

“So, who taught you how to fly, if you aren’t a Thranta Rider?” Daven asked suddenly, thoughtfully, breaking the silence.

“Oh,” Sisa said, thinking for a moment. “All children in the village are taught to ride regardless of who their parents are. Much like you were taught to pilot a speeder, no? Some have more talent for it than others and are able to conduct tours and be in the festivals. The ones that can’t man the shops and care for the animals, stuff like that. They will still ride thrantas, though, just not at this level.”

There was a hint of pride in her voice, Nyssa noticed, but it was controlled.

“The pure blooded Thranta Riders are still the best,” Sisa continued after a short pause. “But, as a whole, they aren’t a very pretentious people, so they welcome as one of their own anyone that’s able to ride. It’s sort of sad in a way, because that’s what has lead to their near extinction.”

“I thought you said they intermarried?” Nyssa questioned, catching the hole in her narrative.

“Oh,” Sisa said, “they did. But, you see, Thranta Riders are a distinct genetic population – because of so many years a part from the rest of Alderaan, I guess – and look completely different. They are the only native Alderaanians that have light hair and eyes. There is a lovely story behind it, would you like to hear?”

Mara’s head popped up and she briskly nodded, clearly not caring rather or not her parents wanted to hear a fairytale.

“Well, okay,” Sisa said, smiling. “The legends say that the first two Thranta Riders ever were brothers playing one day in the hills near their home. They challenged each other to jump on and ride the thrantas that were circling the highest of the fields. The elder brother managed to mount first and soared so high that the rays of the noon sun touched his hair and turned it a bright yellow. The younger brother was much smaller and, despite many attempts, wasn’t able to mount until sunset. When he did, he soared low, towards the fiery rays of the setting sun. They, too, touched his hair and it became red. Together the boys rode day after day until their eyes reflected the color of the sky. All their children – and they had many in the years to come – were born with either blond hair or red hair, depending on who their father was, and always had blue eyes.”

Mara frowned. “But that’s not how it works; the sun can’t do that to you!”

Sisa laughed. “I know, young one. It is only a story, used to explain something that was unexplainable for many years. Since then, scientists have found the true reason, but it isn’t as fun as that story.”

Mara’s eyebrows furrowed, but she said nothing more, to Nyssa’s relief. Explaining random genetic mutations to a five-year-old on her birthday was never a good plan, especially when Daven’s lecture would most likely put her to sleep.

Silence continued – a pleasurable one at that – through the morning.


 

-----signature-----
Do you ever get bored and find yourself scrolling down a thread just to read the signatures? confused
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Pallas-Athena  4206 posts
Title: TFN Fan Fiction Archive Editor
 Registered: Nov '00
24106_Callista
Date Posted: 6/4/05 8:45pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated May 19th) - Date Edited: 6/5/05 2:56am (1 edits total) Edited By: Pallas-Athena
whistling

A shameless up in honor of Lurker Appreciation Week. I love you all love

 

-----signature-----
Do you ever get bored and find yourself scrolling down a thread just to read the signatures? confused
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Alethia  8640 posts
Registered: Feb '05
Date Posted: 6/4/05 8:58pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated May 19th)
And thanks so much for the up, because I would have missed this otherwise...

But it's almost six am so I can't do a review now. Will do one later, though. But I can say that I enjoyed this chapter a lot.

 

-----signature-----
Jen, High Scholar and Ponderer of all Things Verily Blue, and Official caller of Suz, Crusader of Heretics and Knight of the Blue 1000
Now sacrificing Movie Garfield
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
obaona  4725 posts
Registered: Jun '02
24174_Padme
Date Posted: 6/5/05 3:12am Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated May 19th) - Date Edited: 6/5/05 3:13am (1 edits total) Edited By: obaona
Sorry for not posting earlier, darling. love

He didn’t mean anything by it, she was sure; he was her best friend, after all. But still, it seemed …

Some people are just born boyish. But I think that people that seem so boyish don't usually make much of an effort to seem otherwise, even though they kind of want, but really, is it worth the effort? (Only sometimes, in your head.) As a tomboy, I can attest to this. wink

You know, it's like you've got this story down to a science. Everything just flows quite smoothly, I'm honestly not sure what to comment on, what parts really sparkled. grin Can you a pick a more beautiful part of a diamond? kiss [/pretentious]

Daven may have realized it, but he was acting oblivious to her behavior and didn’t even remotely return her subtle flirtations.

Such a lack of concern there on Nyssa's part, which I quite like because it's reasonable, all considering. tongue

Daven grabbed Mara and hoisted her on his shoulder. He was probably also aware of Mara’s intent, but he wouldn’t bother to comment on it one way or another.

The idea of Mara doing that is just so cute. grin Because something so daring would be quite the Mara thing to do in one sense - but in another, adult Mara would probably have researched the matter and concluded for herself that it was, in fact, possible to do that. tongue

All their children – and they had many in the years to come – were born with either blond hair or red hair, depending on who their father was, and always had blue eyes.”

Okay, this is sad, but I only just realized the significance of this. *thwacks self*

Wonderful as always, darling. hugs I'm wondering what will happen on this thranta ride - I don't think something bad will happen (please not tongue ), but something unexpected, perhaps. thinking I'm curious, though, when do we go back to older Mara and Leia? I'm trying to put the puzzle pieces together in my head, and yet I have the feeling I'm missing a significant number of pieces. tongue

hugs Sorry this isn't as long as usual ... but you know I strive for quality over quantity. batting


[edit] Post 101! Page 5! grin grin grin

 

-----signature-----
MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind. mischief - teh atty
my recent Atton (KOTOR2) fic: http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/30335989
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Happy_Hobbit_Padawan  1692 posts
Registered: Feb '03
6637_Padme
Date Posted: 6/6/05 12:28am Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated May 19th)
I must be losing my mind. I could have sworn I replied to this a few hours ago. *scratches head*

Sorry I took so long to reply. I haven't felt like logging on here lately.

I loved it, as usual. love Since oba is always more eloquent than I am, I'll just point up and say "what she said." tongue Actually, I did leave a reply as a comment on one of your entries. The 26th, I think it was. And yes, I'm too lazy to click/copy/paste right now. silly

 

-----signature-----
Belaé, Handmaiden of the Crest
batting
Get jiggly with it at Jello Anarchy.
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
_Genivive_  53 posts
Registered: Mar '05
22822_Mara Jade
Date Posted: 6/6/05 8:57am Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated May 19th) - Date Edited: 6/6/05 8:58am (1 edits total) Edited By: _Genivive_
I'm a shameless lurker but since it is Lurker Week and this is such a great fic I'll have to reply!

I love this story Pallas-Athena and all your other ones even if I haven't replied!

There I posted, happy? wink

 

-----signature-----
May the horse be with you - Relient K
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Pallas-Athena  4206 posts
Title: TFN Fan Fiction Archive Editor
 Registered: Nov '00
24106_Callista
Date Posted: 6/9/05 4:15am Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated May 19th) - Date Edited: 6/9/05 2:16pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Pallas-Athena
Alethia: And thanks so much for the up, because I would have missed this otherwise...

Heehee, I was wondering if it was seen. I guess with all the RotS buzz, it got buried wink

But I can say that I enjoyed this chapter a lot.

Good to hear grin

oba: Sorry for not posting earlier, darling.

s'okay. I know you still care love

But I think that people that seem so boyish don't usually make much of an effort to seem otherwise, even though they kind of want, but really, is it worth the effort? (Only sometimes, in your head.) As a tomboy, I can attest to this

Very true. Especially when she probably spent most of her childhood trying to be as strong as the boys. So when he finally comes out and says it, it should be a compliment! Besides makeup=waste of time.

You know, it's like you've got this story down to a science. Everything just flows quite smoothly, I'm honestly not sure what to comment on, what parts really sparkled.

It's the science of Eluding. One part spunky bounty hunter, one part charming Jedi, one part cute kid, five parts vodka. No, wait, that's mixology wink

Can you a pick a more beautiful part of a diamond?

*tries* the shinny part?

Such a lack of concern there on Nyssa's part, which I quite like because it's reasonable, all considering.

She has him so whipped it's not even a question mischief

Because something so daring would be quite the Mara thing to do in one sense - but in another, adult Mara would probably have researched the matter and concluded for herself that it was, in fact, possible to do that.

Yes, but she's at that stage now where research is boring. Especially when flying sounds like so much more fun grin

Okay, this is sad, but I only just realized the significance of this. *thwacks self*

And here I thought it was going to remain a surprise tongue I like the subtle hints and sometimes you get them, sometimes you don't.

I'm wondering what will happen on this thranta ride - I don't think something bad will happen (please not tongue ), but something unexpected, perhaps.

No, I wasn't planning for a sour turn to the worst in this little er flashback thingie. It's a happy story (for once)

I'm curious, though, when do we go back to older Mara and Leia? I'm trying to put the puzzle pieces together in my head, and yet I have the feeling I'm missing a significant number of pieces.

Ah, when this ends, of course tongue I don't know when it will end. It's long. The 'main' story is mainly being used to hold these ficlets all together. It's not even going to be that long. The bulk of this fic is flashbacks as it were. I like to think that the flashbacks could stand as short peices on their own thinking

Sorry this isn't as long as usual ... but you know I strive for quality over quantity.

Yep love hugs kiss

Page 5!

dancing

Bel: I must be losing my mind. I could have sworn I replied to this a few hours ago. *scratches head*

No dear. You are perfectly sane alien_1 hypnotized alien_1 hypnotized monkey

Actually, I did leave a reply as a comment on one of your entries. The 26th, I think it was. And yes, I'm too lazy to click/copy/paste right now.

*goes to look because I was too lazy to respond when you posted it*

And loved it as usual. I wanna ride a thranta! tongue

Me too. grin the look like fun. I can't believe that no one else has decided to include them in a fic. There's fun to be had there!

Although I wonder why she wanted to take their pics? Is it 'cause she wants to sleep w/ Daven's pic under her pillow? :P

Heehee, but nope. She's got another boy on her mind, as we shall soon see mischief

You're one of the few writers I'd pay to read.

You're so sweet. Thank you! love hugs kiss


_Genivive_: shock shock shock shock shock
grin grin grin grin grin
hugs hugs hugs

*manages to calm down* I didn't think that button would work!

Thanks so much for replying. If you have been delurkering all week then I'm sure other authors have already given you a clue as to how wonderful it is to know that someone's reading your fic and enjoying it grin

If you ever have and questions or comments, please feel free to reply. A 'cool. nice post' is also welcomed. *hinthint* Thanks again!

There I posted, happy?

*is beyond happy* love

 

-----signature-----
Do you ever get bored and find yourself scrolling down a thread just to read the signatures? confused
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Pallas-Athena  4206 posts
Title: TFN Fan Fiction Archive Editor
 Registered: Nov '00
24106_Callista
Date Posted: 6/10/05 11:53pm Subject: RE: Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated May 19th)
Thanks to oba for the beta. hugs

Alderaan – Part Five

Flying was the only way to live. It wasn’t the key to life – he had long since learned that it was friends and family that made everything rich – but it was damn near. Flying was his greatest enjoyment, his greatest pride, and his greatest source of income. It was a very good thing indeed that all three of those descriptions fit so flawlessly into one single thing. He knew men that weren’t so lucky.

His thranta let out perturbed snort when he dismounted, but Davick Staver calmed the animal with a soft pat on the wing.

“We showed them who the best team is, Nakin,” he whispered to the bird triumphantly. “But it’s time for you to get some well earned rest, I think.” He used the crane to strip off the saddle. Once Nakin was free of the bonds, the thranta swooped down and away from the platform, wishing to avoid the ruckus of the arena nearby. “Hey, don’t go off too far! We still got the finale!” Davick shouted into the wind, knowing perfectly well that the thranta could not possibly hope to understand Basic and would come more aptly at the call of a whistle.

“Excellent flight, Davick!” one of the crewmen told him eagerly. “I think you had all the girls in the audience swooning.”

Davick favored the man with a smile that many thranta veterans claimed was purely his mother’s. “I’ll be down in the pit, grabbing a bite to eat, if anyone needs me.”

“All right,” the crewman responded as the lift came to a stop before them. Another rider stepped out, whistle in hand.

“Great flight,” he greeted.

“Thanks,” Davick returned as he stepped into the now vacant lift. “May your bird soar,” he said before the lift’s grated safety doors closed, echoing the common phrase amongst thranta riders. He nodded thankfully before blowing on his whistle.

Davick took a deep breath as the lift descended. He was going to enjoy the break, even if it was barely an hour. The screaming spectators in the arena were loud, frightening even to a seasoned bird like Nakin, and Davick was a quiet person by nature. The so-called ‘pit’ – a temporary pilot staging area located on the far side of the arena – had its share of bustle, but at least no one would be screaming his name.

He walked the few meters between the lift and the pit, deep in his thoughts. He wondered where Sisa had run off to – she had said that she would be volunteering for the lift mounting crew today, so he was expecting to see her at any moment. He desperately hoped she wasn’t still bitter about not being picked for the show this year. He would have gladly given up his spot for her, had he been able, but, truth be told, she wasn’t even high enough on the waiting list for that to matter.

Why her performance at the tryouts had been less than sub par, Davick still could not guess. It had been far worse than her usual showing, and Davick normally considered her one of the best riders, especially if he discounted the native Thranta Riders from the group.

He grabbed a cup of water and one of the bread rolls, which a local baker had prepared for the pilots today, and ate absentmindedly. It was still a bit too early for a midday meal, but Davick wouldn’t get a chance to eat again. He counted himself quite lucky, anyway, for having the food while it was still fresh and warm.

“Davick!” a familiar voice called out.

He looked up to see his mother, Aiya, pushing her way through the groups of nervous flyers. He swallowed harshly and took a gulp of water, wondering what she was doing here. She was supposed to be at the stall, selling. The look on her face made him feel worried rather than annoyed, though. She looked … not afraid, necessarily, but … anxious, maybe?

“Mother,” Davick said, coming to her. “What’s the matter? Has something happened?”

“Something has,” she said, her voice high pitched. “Something wonderful.” She reached out and brushed Davick’s cheek before putting her hands on his shoulders.

“Mother?” Davick asked, confusion overtaking his features. “What is it?”

“I saw Daven, just this morning,” she told him in a whisper, as if it were a secret between them.

Davick pulled away, shocked at his mother’s words. Was it some sort of twisted jest that he wasn’t privy to? He seriously doubted Aiya was capable of that after they had wept for Daven together. No, it was more likely that …

“Mother,” he said softly. “It is warm out today. Perhaps the heat has gotten to you. Why don’t you sit down for a bit?” He led her to a nearby bench. She went willingly, but pulled him down to sit with her.

“Davick, I know what you’re thinking,” she said. “I’m not going mad, my son. I know what I saw.”

“Daven is dead,” Davick reminded her, wishing his words didn’t sound so harsh right then. “You saw the reports on the holovid just like I did. Of the Jedi purge.” He paused to clear a stray strand of gray hair out of her eye. How she had grieved for the child that she barely knew. It had hurt Davick, too, to know that his brother had been executed in such a violent manner, but he could not begin to imagine what his mother felt. “We both read the list,” he whispered, referring to the death lists compiled at the end of the Clone Wars. “We both saw his name. Mother?”

She was shaking her head, denying his words.

“Mother, please. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t do this to me,” he begged her. “I don’t think either of us can take it.”

“Believe me, Davick,” she answered, sounding surprisingly sane. “I didn’t just see him. He was with a woman that said his name. He was a mirror image of you, I swear. It could be no other.”

Davick sighed.

“Couldn’t it be possible, Davick?” Aiya continued. “Couldn’t it? He could’ve escaped the purge, left the Jedi before it happened, even. He was with a woman and they had a little girl. Maybe he left for her and didn’t even fight in the Clone Wars.”

“You’re grasping at grass, mother,” Davick said. “If he wasn’t in the war, how do you explain the list?”

“A mistake, an oversight, a lie!” she cried uncharacteristically, causing a few heads in the pit to turn. “Just think, hope for a minute. What if I’m right?”

“What if you’re wrong?” Davick said cynically.

“Then nothing changes,” Aiya responded firmly.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked, defeated, but still not willing to hope she was right.

“Find him. Now,” she said, resolved in her choice.

“Now?” Davick repeated. “Mother, there are thousands of people here. He could be anywhere. The arena, the town. I wouldn’t even know where to look.”

“Find him, please,” she said once more.

“I have the show’s finale still; I can’t just leave,” Davick protested.

“Ask Sisa to replace you,” Aiya suggested. “She’s practiced the whole routine with you, hasn’t she? She must have it memorized by now. And you saw that poor girl crying after those tryouts. She would love a second chance, don’t you think?”

He could agree with that, and he knew Sisa would perform his part beautifully. He also had to admit that thoughts of his brother would probably cloud his concentration during the flight. He would prefer to go look for Daven, but there was a problem.

“I don’t know where Sisa is,” he admitted.

“What?” Aiya asked, surprised. “I thought you two were connected at the hip.”

“I haven’t seen her all day, to tell you the truth,” he said, smirking at his mother’s last comment.

“Maybe she’s off sulking,” Aiya said.

“No, Sisa doesn’t sulk,” Davick shook his head. “She’s around somewhere. I have an hour before I’m scheduled to ride again. If I can find her before then and if – big if, mind you – she can take my place, I’ll help you find Daven.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” his mother said, her face brightening.

****

Finding Sisa was going to be harder than he had originally thought, Davick realized some thirty minutes later. He even had asked a few locals running street-side stalls if they had seen her. Some had, but none knew where she was now.

He wished he would just see her. The idea that his brother might still be alive was grating on his mind and he wanted to talk to her about it. He wanted Sisa to tell him to hope, that everything was going to be fine, that today would be a good day. He half expected that, when she did turn up, she would rather help him look for Daven than fly. She loved flying as much as he did, but she, like he, valued their friendship more.

Running out of options, he entered the navigation station. Knoggles was there, of course, watching some holovid and lazily eating granola.

“It’s a little early in the day for that, don’t you think?” Davick commented wryly as he turned on the main lights.

“Hey,” Knoggles shouted, blocking his eyes. “You prude. I’m not even drinking!”

“Whatever,” Davick said, leaning against the counter. “Have you seen Sisa today?”

“Yeah,” came the surprising answer. “She was in here with a young couple a few hours ago or so.”

“Doing what?”

“Why do you care?” Knoggles smirked. “Finally gonna fly that girl off to Paradise Peak and show her a good time, eh?”

“Hardly. We’re only friends,” Davick reminded him, trying to block the blush rising to his cheeks. “Where is she?”

“She took the couple and their little girl out for a tour of the Zone,” the navigation director finally admitted. “She’ll be gone all day, so you’ll have to keep it in your pants until then.”

“Funny,” Davick grumbled, rolling his eyes. “A couple, you say?”

“Yeah,” Knoggles nodded. “And you know what was really weird? The father: a spiting image of you. The red hair, blue eyes, coulda swore he was a Thranta Rider, but I guess the galaxy makes all kinds, huh?”

Davick’s interest was peaked. “Really? Can I see his identification holo?”

“Sure, sure,” Knoogles said, pulling out the holoreader. “I think Sisa got sick of awaiting for ya and found a replacement.”

Davick ignored his comment and focused on the emerging holo. He let out a small gasp. What his mother and Knoggles said was true: the man did look enough like him to be his brother. His cheeks were the same, but his nose was a little smaller, and they did have the same coloring. He looked no older than thirty, but that would place him in the right age range to be Davick’s younger sibling.

“What’s his name, anyway?” he finally asked, suspecting that it would, in fact, be Daven Staver.

“You know,” Knoggles said offhandedly as he looked through the files for the proper information, “they say everybody has at least one twin in the galaxy. Do you think he’s yours?” He let the question hang as he looked through the file. “Farin Cloy.”

“Farin Cloy?” Davick repeated, tasting the name on his lips and wondering if it was an alias. His mother could have been mistaken, but Davick had to know if this man was Daven. He was daring to hope. “You got Sisa’s itinerary, right?”

*****

“Are you serious?” Vive said, ecstatic. “Take your place in show?”

“You’ve watched Sisa and I practice everyday for the past month,” Davick told her. “Don’t deny it. I’ve seen you watching on the hill. Think you can do it?”

“The finale?” the fifteen year-old snorted. “It’ll be a drift in the breeze.”

“Great,” Davick said, breathing a sigh of relief. “Take Nakin; he knows the whole routine and should be able to guide you through it.”

The girl beamed at the thought of riding a prize show thranta. “This is so wizard.”

“Here.” He handed her Nakin’s whistle and started to jog to the platform at the far side of town.

“So, where you going?” the girl shouted after him.

“To find Sisa,” he yelled back.

He knew there was some sort of reply insinuating that he and Sisa were in or ready for a romantic relationship, but he didn’t bother to hear Vive’s last words. He imagined he had the whole of the town wondering – and gossiping – about his intentions with Sisa from his behavior this morning. He could only hope that they had cooled off by the time he and Sisa had returned.

Returned with his brother. Potential brother; Davick didn’t know for sure. His thoughts about that little issue were overpowering his usual concerns about people teasing him and Sisa.

What would Daven say to him? Hell, what would he say to Daven? ‘Hey, kid, I’m your big brother’? That wasn’t going to sound eloquent to the ears of a Jedi, if that was, in fact, what Daven had become.

Even that was in doubt. In his teenage years, Davick had developed an interest in the Jedi Order, remembering how his baby brother was taken from their house when he was just a few months old. Davick had been only five then, but he could still recall the day clearly: the majestic men that had taken Daven, cloaked completely in brown robes. He had screamed at them, telling them that they couldn’t have his brother.

One of them had paused and put a hand on his shoulder while the other cradled the infant.

“He will be well with us,” the man had told him soothingly. “He belongs with us.”

“He belongs with me,” he had retorted.

“Your brother is a very special little guy,” the Jedi said. “He has special powers that one day he’ll use to help people. Don’t you want him to help people?”

“Yes,” Davick had answered wearily, feeling his eyes fill with tears. “But will he come back and visit me when he gets bigger?”

The Jedi had pressed his lips together harshly. “That is up to the Force, child.”

Davick had been fortunate enough to do a school project on the Jedi Order, and that was when he learned about the likely fate of his brother – he would never love, never marry, never have children, never know about his real family.

As he had read that chapter of his holo reference guide, Davick’s childhood dream died. Daven wasn’t ever going to come back. He wasn’t going to walk into their little house and hug their mother. He wasn’t going to stay up all night and tell Davick of his many adventures on faraway planets. He wasn’t going to race thrantas bareback.

In all likelihood, Daven would have never even be made aware that he was born on Alderaan.

Davick had kept this new information to himself for a long while, several years, in fact, until the outbreak of the Clone Wars, when his mother had been glued to the holovid, watching as the Jedi led the Republic army into battle.

They had talked openly one night about what had been a silent memory in their house: Daven and the Jedi Order. To Davick’s shock, Aiya had known about the Jedi Order’s rules and had let him go anyway.

“He has a greater destiny,” she had said in her defense. “I could feel it when I held him.”

One thing she hadn’t known, however – one thing that the Jedi had failed to tell her – was that the Order had an abundance of children at their disposal, and some were rejected and never became Jedi Knights. They were sent to some horrible backwater planet to farm.

So that, too, had been one of Daven’s possible fates.

Davick had hated the Jedi even more when he knew that his brother could have been abandoned. His mother admitted that, had she known, she would have kept him. Their hate became mutual, however, when they saw the list and learned that Daven had died merely because he was a Jedi. That this had been his fate.

But perhaps it wasn’t.

Davick sighed before blowing a whistle to call a new mount. He would ride to Visma Bluff and wait. There was a platform there and Sisa was scheduled to land in a few hours for lunch at that spot. He would meet Sisa and her party there.

He breathed deeply and released the air raggedly as the crane saddled the thranta. He was going to need to think of something really good to say.

 

-----signature-----
Do you ever get bored and find yourself scrolling down a thread just to read the signatures? confused
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 - Previous | Next | Reload
© 2009 IGN Entertainment, Inc (9.02.17.2300, IGNPRDAPPW64213) 0.782