Author Topic: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
stacysatrip  2691 posts
Registered: Nov '02
Date Posted: 12/1/04 4:24pm Subject: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
Hey guys! This is my first viggie in awhile. It may still need some work. I am a spoiler freak, so this vig has reference to what is rumored to be Padmé's ultimate fate. So if you don't want to know the rumors....don't read it.

Also, I'm still working on The Long Road Home, it's just coming very slowly. So hopefully this will tide you over until then.

Enjoy!

****

A Mother’s Grief

Author: Stacy
Characters: Jobal and Ruwee Naberrie
Rating: PG
Summary: Padmé’s mother grieves the tragic loss of her youngest daughter.
Disclaimer: First, this fic may contain minor spoilers based on rumors I’ve heard about RotS. So if you want to stay spoiler (and rumor) free, you should turn back now. Second, I don’t own these characters. Third, I hope that nobody is offended by this. It may have some parallels with something that’s going on in the real world right now, but I am in no way trying to exploit any tragedy in reality.

*********

"No parent should have to bury their child."
--King Theoden, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

********
Weary and heartsick, Ruwee Naberrie shuffled tiredly into his study. His eyes were red-rimmed and his head pounded. Here he was, a grown man close to sixty standard years of age, and he had spent the day sobbing like a child. Now there were no more tears to cry.

The first two days he was numb. He literally felt nothing as he went through the motions, making all the necessary arrangements. But today it finally hit him, like a load of duracrete that had fallen from the sky and landed on his head. It was wrong, so very wrong that an old man would be preceded in death by his child. What transgression had he ever committed against the gods for his family to deserve such a punishment? He had lived his life already; why could they not have taken him instead?

From under the door, he noticed the soft glow of illuminated lamps. Odd, he thought. Nobody ever went into his study. Jobal couldn’t tolerate the disorderly mess of old books and flimsiplast scattered about. No one had been in his study since….

He didn’t think it possible, but new tears filled his eyes as he remembered a little girl with chestnut curls bouncing around her shoulders bounding into the study before bedtime. He strained his ears and for a second could have sworn he heard her musical laugh echoing from the room, sounding almost like the wind chimes that hung outside the window.

In her nightclothes and robe, she would run to him and throw her tiny arms around his neck. For someone so small, her embrace was so warm and safe that it always brought him comfort.

“Tell me a story, Papa!” she would plead.

“Isn’t it time for you to be in bed?”

“Well….I just wanted to see you before I go.”

He would always reach out and tousle her hair, and she would crinkle her nose and giggle. Then, she would climb onto his lap.

“Just one story, Papa, please? I promise I won’t be too tired in the morning.”

Then she would look up at him with her wide brown eyes framed with thick lashes that even at that age she artfully used to get exactly what she wanted.

“All right, poppet,” he would chuckle, “but then it’s off to bed.”

“I love you, Papa.”


Ruwee blinked, surprised to find the collar of his nightshirt damp. A hand lifted to his face to find tears streaming down it.

He missed her so much, he ached from the emptiness.

Carefully opening the door, he cringed at the creak that echoed in the now too-quiet house. He stepped inside and found Jobal sitting at his desk, her face worn, her brown-and-gray streaked hair disheveled.

“It’s very late,” he said quietly. “You should try to get some rest.”

“I don’t see you sleeping.”

“Darling,” he said as he walked towards her.

The closer he got, the more he could see the utter despair in her eyes. It was probably like looking at a reflection of himself. He walked around the desk and placed a hand on her shoulder, but she shunned him. Then he noticed that she was clutching a piece of folded flimsiplast, and her knuckles were smudged with ink.

“What are you doing?” Ruwee wondered.

“Nothing.”

“What did you write?”

Jobal swallowed hard, rose, and tossed the crumpled flimsiplast on the desk. She walked over to the window and gazed outside at the moon. Noting the telltale quiver of his wife’s chin, Ruwee joined her, wrapping his arm around her slender shoulders.

“It’s full,” she commented.

“What?”

“The moon. It’s full. She always loved….” Jobal’s voice broke as tears pooled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. “Why did this happen?” she sobbed. Her legs wobbled, and Ruwee tightened his embrace.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “I don’t have the answers to this.”

He remembered back a few days, when he heard the news. An official messenger of the young Queen of Naboo arrived on their doorstep early in the morning.

It was a day like any other, despite the chaos that now engulfed the Galaxy at large. Somehow, Naboo always seemed immune, even when it was not. Ruwee Naberrie had arisen from his bed and stretched his arms high above his head as he looked out his window to see the morning mist still hanging in the air. He made his way downstairs, following the smell and sound of sizzling shaak steak and peko-peko eggs. Jobal had smiled at him warmly and accepted a quick kiss on the cheek before returning to her cooking. Just as they both sat down at the table, the door chime sounded. They looked at each other curiously, wondering who in the universe would be calling on them at this early hour. Jobal rose and answered the door.

Ruwee heard muffled conversation coming from the foyer, and cocked his head to listen hard. Without explanation, an ominous feeling came over him, his appetite disappearing as he went to join his wife at the door.

He arrived just in time to hear her scream in anguish.

And then, she collapsed.

Ruwee cringed as the unwanted memories assailed him. It had been so simply stated.

“I am sorry sir, but your daughter is dead.”

The messenger had said it with such ease, as if announcing the weather forecast.

Dead.

“There…there must be some mistake….”

“No sir. The Queen has asked that her condolences be extended to you and your family.”

“I…I don’t understand….”

“It seems that she…perished while on a mission,” the messenger concluded. “I am afraid I have no further details, but the Queen has asked me to assure you than a full investigation is ongoing.”

All Ruwee could do was stand there with a vacant expression on his face and nod.

Dead?

“Sir?”

“Yes?”

“Naboo has suffered a great loss. The Senator…she was truly a hero.”

Ruwee nodded again.

Dead? Dead?


Ruwee Naberrie didn’t notice that he began swaying ever so slightly with Jobal in his arms as they continued gazing out the window. Ever since that fateful day, his beloved wife had been lifeless herself. The medic who came after she passed out had prescribed a strong sedative to help her sleep, but she refused to take it. Jobal was in enough of a vegetative state as it was—she didn’t need any medication to make it worse. She said that further numbing her pain would be to shut out Padmé’s memory, and she would never do that.

“You know what I’ve been thinking?” Ruwee said, interrupting the disconcerting silence.

“What?”

“We need to get away. We could go to Varykino or…”

“I can’t go back there,” Jobal replied flatly as she wriggled out of her husband’s embrace. “Not yet.”

“You need rest, darling,” Ruwee argued. “Relaxation.”

“No.”

“But…”

“I said, no!” Jobal snapped. “No! How dare you ask me to go back to that place? Where our girls played together? Where Padmé took her first steps and learned how to swim and…” her voice broke as the tears flowed freely, he agonizing cries penetrating the eerie quietness of the house.

“I think we should take her back there, Jobal,” Ruwee said softly. “It is what she would want. She was never happier than when we were there.”

“Don’t talk to me about taking my child anywhere!” Jobal shrieked between sobs. “You try to behave as though nothing is wrong, but it is! Padmé isn’t going back there to play or to be with her family or to….”

“Rest! She is going there to rest in the one place in the accursed Galaxy that might still have some peace for her!” Ruwee interrupted, shocked at his harshness.

He only barely dodged a glass urn that his wife hurled at his head. It smashed against the wall and shattered in a million tiny pieces on the floor.

“Peace? Our daughter….was murdered! Murdered, Ruwee!” Sinking to the floor, Jobal curled into a tight ball and wept.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Ruwee inhaled deeply, summoning all of his inner strength. He knelt down beside his wife and stroked her hair.

“I know you are suffering, Jobal,” he said. “I am suffering too.”

“I’m not suffering,” Jobal retorted as she sat up. “I know that Padmé wouldn’t want us to feel bitterness or despair…” she gulped for air… “but I am so….angry right now. I am so angry and I can’t help myself, and I don’t know what to do…”

They held one another for a long time before Ruwee finally convinced Jobal to drink some water. Then, he helped her to bed and this time insisted that she take her sedative. Too numb now to protest, she did as her husband asked, and was quickly asleep.

* * * *

A while later, Ruwee made his way back downstairs, something still weighing heavily on his mind. While finally crying and mourning his daughter’s loss with Jobal had been cathartic, there was one thing that needed settled. Returning to the study, he sat down behind his desk and picked up the piece of flimsiplast that Jobal had been clutching earlier. Carefully he unfolded it, seeing before him his wife’s elegant penmanship scrawled over it. With weary eyes, he read.

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know where you come from. And I pray to the gods that our paths will never cross, because if they do I am not sure that I can be held responsible for my actions. So why, do you ask, am I bothering to write you?

It is because you have taken something away from me that was more precious to me than anything in the Galaxy.

I want to tell you about a girl. A beautiful, vibrant little girl with ribbons in her hair. When she came into my life, I never knew it possible to love another being so much. Oh, I loved my older child, but I never understood how I could love a second one as much as I loved the first. Surely my heart did not have that capacity.

But it did.

She never cried. She just sat around with her fist in her mouth, brown eyes wide with curiosity as she contemplated in wonder the new world around her. I can see her toddling around my parlor on chubby little legs. She fell so many times. One time, she fell and hit her head on the corner of a table. It bruised and bled. But my little girl did not allow her misfortune to keep her from doing what she knew in her heart she could do. That single-minded determination gave me more than a few gray hairs, I assure you. But it also allowed her to become a staunch defender of the rights and liberties of all beings.

When she was six, she stood for hours on end as my husband and I helped prepare baskets of food and supplies for refugees. My daughter was probably just as helpless as those poor souls. The top of her little head, now full of chestnut-brown curls, could barely be seen behind the table, even when she stood on her tiptoes. Yet she diligently worked to fill those baskets, and willed everyone else to continue despite our aching backs and feet. And she never complained.

Even then, my daughter had dedicated her life to the service of others.

By the age of fourteen, when she began her reign as the Queen of Naboo, my daughter had already accomplished so much. By the end of her reign, she had saved our planet from certain devastation at the hands of greedy warmongers. No one would have beguiled her had she stepped out of public service and into a life of her own. But she did not. Her duty to serve her people as long as she was capable took precedence over all else. And despite numerous threats and attempts on her life, she stayed the course, as brave as any soldier on the field of battle. Her compassion and loyalty and concern not only for the citizens of Naboo, but for all beings compelled her to carry on with her mission.

That was Padmé Naberrie the public servant.

I want you to know about Padmé Naberrie, the human being.

She was beautiful.

She was strong.

She was the light of our lives.

She had two little nieces. A sister. Cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents.

When she laughed, the room would light up, because her smile was a ray of sunshine.

When she cried (which was rarely), everyone would want to cry along with her.

And this is something I did not know until it was revealed to me yesterday.

Padmé Naberrie was going to be a mother.

A mother.

My baby girl was going to have a baby of her own, the family she so desperately wanted.

And you took that away from her.

I have to wonder something. Did she beg for her life? Did she beg for the life of her unborn child? Did she plead with you to spare her just long enough so that her son or daughter might live? She would have gone in his or her place, certainly.

Just as I would have gone in hers.

I know that I shall never receive the answers to my questions, the biggest of which is why this happened. Padmé—my Padmé—would never have hurt anyone. And despite what you did to her, what you stole from her, I am certain that she would ask me to forgive you.

I am not as strong as my daughter was. I cannot bring myself to forgive the person who took it upon himself to end her life in an act of deplorable violence. I cannot find it in my heart to pardon the person whom, in destroying my daughter’s life, also ended the life of my grandchild before he or she could take a single breath.

All I can do now is pity you, and hope that the gods will have mercy on your soul as you live every day with the sound in your ears of Padmé imploring you to pardon her life for the sake of the precious, innocent baby she carried.

You may have overpowered her when you strangled the life out of her, but you are not strong. You may think that what you did was for some greater good, but you are not good. You may believe that you have courage, but you are not brave.

Those are the things my daughter was.

Those are things that you will never be.

Jobal Naberrie



Trembling and weeping, Ruwee folded the letter in four corners. His wife’s pain radiated from the pages as she had lashed out at the one who had done this to them. But he knew that she never intended to send it, even if she knew where it should be sent.

Crinkling it in his hand, he tossed it into the fire, and as the ashes rose from the flames, he prayed that their grief would one day burn away, and that from the ashes of their broken lives, hope and peace would once again emerge.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, Ruwee Naberrie left his study and crept upstairs to bed.

 

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"....when you could have saved her, when you could have gone away with her, when you should have been thinking of her, you were thinking only about yourself."
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Gina  3879 posts
Registered: Jun '03
20886_The Final Duel
Date Posted: 12/2/04 6:01am Subject: RE: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
Oh, this was so heartbreaking. So sad, but beautifully written. The pain Jobal and Ruwee were going through...again, just heartbreaking.

 

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VaderLVR64  31012 posts
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered: Feb '04
49060_Obi-Wan Kenobi (811092)
Date Posted: 12/2/04 6:33am Subject: RE: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
Okay, a nice teary start to my day! That was...well, it was amazing. I don't know what else to say about it. You really captured the emotions of a grieving parent. Lovely, lovely vignette.

 

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iegoangel 
Registered: Nov '04
17659_Padme and Ani
Date Posted: 12/2/04 12:44pm Subject: RE: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
SOB! This is so sad, and so true to life! Padme's parents are one set of characters that often get neglected in fan-fic. Great job!

 

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LukesTheMan  666 posts
Registered: Apr '04
24197_Baby Luke
Date Posted: 12/2/04 1:30pm Subject: RE: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
Sad doesn't even begin to cover it! Awesome viggie.

 

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Jazz_Skywalker  2393 posts
Registered: Aug '02
39838_Anakin
Date Posted: 12/2/04 3:17pm Subject: RE: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
Wow...that was... just wonderful. You knocked me speechless!

JS

 

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darththunderbird  1717 posts
Registered: Nov '03
6894_Padme
Date Posted: 12/3/04 11:54am Subject: RE: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
cry cry cry


that was so realistic! Beautifully amazing is an understatement.

 

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Moleman1138  12253 posts
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered: Aug '04
14899_Episode I
Date Posted: 12/3/04 12:01pm Subject: RE: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
A real tearjerker to the very end. A well executed piece done with seeming excellent passion. Great job indeed

 

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DreamOfKenobi  251 posts
Registered: Jul '04
23571_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 12/3/04 1:25pm Subject: RE: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
cry cry cry

That's all, just cry

 

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MistiWhitesun  514 posts
Registered: Aug '04
18916_Barriss Offee
Date Posted: 12/3/04 2:00pm Subject: RE: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
Wow. Touching.

I read this while listening to "Sad Clown" by Jars of Clay and "He's My Son" by Mark Scholtz… How fitting.

Great job.

Keep writing! happy

 

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LaYa_  8908 posts
Registered: Jul '03
42770_Natalie Portman
Date Posted: 12/3/04 3:30pm Subject: RE: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
cry That was so sad.. sad

But very well done!

 

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stacysatrip  2691 posts
Registered: Nov '02
Date Posted: 12/5/04 4:03pm Subject: RE: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
Thanks to all of you guys for replying! You aren't people of many words in this case, and I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. wink

Actually, I was on the verge of tears while writing it. It was originally intended just to be Jobal's letter, but I changed my mind.

Anyway, I'm glad you guys were moved so much. And thanks again for replying!

Stacy

 

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"....when you could have saved her, when you could have gone away with her, when you should have been thinking of her, you were thinking only about yourself."
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AnakinsLuv  852 posts
Registered: Apr '04
22351_Kiss
Date Posted: 12/9/04 12:23am Subject: RE: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
*sniff, sniff*

I'm rarely moved to tears with viggies, but you did it, my dear!!!

From one mother to another...that was very real and beautifully done!!

-AnakinsLuv

 

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limonite0101 
Registered: Mar '05
6149_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 4/1/05 4:58pm Subject: RE: A Mother's Grief (Rots-Era vig--pure angst--may contain spoilers)
This is DEFINITELY one of the most touching reads I've had on this forum. Great job!!!

 

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