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Author	Topic: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme UPDATED July 9th!
Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/10/05 6:38pm Subject: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme UPDATED July 9th! - Date Edited: 5/13 4:13pm (11 edits total) Edited By: Vaders_Angel
	TITLE: Inner Turmoil AUTHOR: Vaders_Angel TIMEFRAME: Different take on the battle on Mustafar and events that follow. CHARACTERS: Anakin, Padme, Obi-Wan, Sidious, a few OCs. GENRE: Drama, Action, Romance, Adventure. SUMMARY: Beginning with the fierce battle on Mustafar, Anakin begins to sense a change within himself when he cannot kill Obi-Wan. The happiness ensuing due to his return to the light side is short-lived though, when Anakin becomes plagued with guilt and nightmares of his actions. Afraid his fate lies with the Dark Side no matter how he struggles against it. Is he bound to lose everything he's worked so hard for? --------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- As I stood there watching your body helplessly sink into oblivion, I was overcome by memories. Memories of you, guiding me, teaching me. Molding me into your ideals of what a man should be, and what a Jedi must be. I tried to push those memories aside and feel nothing, as a true Sith would. But it was a futile effort. The memories and realization clung to me and provided no reprieve. I had thought I was doing what was just, what was deserved as I plunged you into scorching damnation. But a million thoughts seemed to come at me from all sides. You had been my Master, my mentor, my friend....and in a way, my father. But when I saw you step out of my wifes ship, pain, jealousy and rage drifted into my soul and took root there, breeding hatred ...and a lust for revenge. She tried to pretend she didn't know you were there, but I knew better. Always I could read her expressions like a datacard. She was relieved when you stepped off the ship and came to her aid! As I released the Force choke I had on her, shock and horror crept into my soul. She gasped for breath and screamed your name! Your name! My beautiful wife was calling for another man. I hadn't meant to hurt her, I never would! But you have convinced her otherwise. You have made her afraid of me. My precious wife now cowers in terror from the one man who has loved her more than life. And it is all because of you! But why? Why would the one man I had trusted, other than Master Sidious, who I now had allegiance with, turn on me, and take my wife with him? I reasoned. Had I fell so far as to believe that you are capable of such monstrousities against me? My thoughts played back and forth, the Jedi in me fighting to emerge and rescue his floundering Master, the Sith in me controlled by jealousy and vengiance watching you burn and taking pride that I had brought down the great Obi-Wan. The Sith was laughing inside, watching you suffer, as I had suffered at your hand. Although my pain was not physical but emotional, but to a Sith, that is far worse. The Sith told me to walk away, and let you die, let you suffer according to your actions. You had taken my wife from me, taken all chance I had to be granted the rank of Master. What had you told them of me? You must have poisoned them against me! Why else would I be denied to be Master? I had trained well, I had served well as apprentice. I did my time, now all I wanted was what was due me. But you wouldn't allow it. A small part left of the Jedi within me spoke up, trying to reason with the anger and hatred pounding inside my skull, it told me that I had not earned your trust, that I hadn't tried hard enough to prove myself, to you or the council. I had been obstinent with you. And an apprentic should be meek, obediant, and allow his Master to guide him. I had not listened to you on countless occasions, some of which had cost both you and I dearly. When you told me to veer left, I would go right just to spite you. This is unacceptable behavior of a Jedi apprentice. I had been jealous, of the respect granted you by the council, of the way you could always be right in their eyes, even when I knew you were wrong! I had never afforded you the respect a Master warrents. Was it my fault for simply being selfish? Was I blind to the goodness in all Jedi, the way Padme had said? Or was it the Councils fault for failing to show me the respect I deserved? You put me in my place publicly on more than one occasion, treated me like a child that had to be restrained! Like I was your footstool, only put in the galaxy to do your bidding. But why then, did I have an uncontrollable urge to cry out, while I watched you drown in a fiery grave? My mind buzzed like a light sabre having been ignited. So many thoughts pounding my brain all at once. Quickly they turned to my Angel, what she would want. The Jedi in me realized, She would hate me always if I allowed you to die. I would lose her, and my child. No! cried the Sith, you are more powerful now than any distance she can put between you. You can easily track her, wherever she would run to. And take your child by any means neccessary. Even if that means.... (to be continued once I get a little feedback! -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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son-of-kenobi Registered: Jul '04	Date Posted: 6/10/05 8:43pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil-A tragic vignette (Anakin/Vaders POV)
	i said before this is good -----signature----- A Fastracked Future Episode 1: Finding The Future http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/17494741/?0 A Fastracked Future Episode 2:The Jedi Attack http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/19281949/?12
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/10/05 9:12pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil-A tragic vignette (Anakin/Vaders POV)
	Thanks, Hopefully this time I can actually update it more frequently. -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/11/05 2:40am Subject: Inner turmoil Anakin/Vader fight for control (Updated 6/11) - Date Edited: 5/13 4:14pm (5 edits total) Edited By: Vaders_Angel
	As usual any comments are welcome, even negative ones. Anyone who writes appreciates constructive criticism. I forgot to edit the date in my last edit so I have done so now Anyway heres the next chapter, hope you enjoy --------------------------------------- ~Chapter II~ --------------------------------- NO!! The Jedi, the husband that had loved her screamed in a voice that shook my very core. Never would I allow any harm to come to her! She is the reason I have done everything I have. The one thing keeping me anchored to my very soul. I could not have given my soul to the Sithlord, for she possesed it long ago. I had given it to her when I was just a child. A simple slave boy of Tatooine who had fallen, the moment I saw her, into a pure, selfless kind of love that transcended any powers that I could gain by giving her up. I must stop this madness before it is too late for redemption. I must cling to the fabric of my being, whatever shreds are left, and help my Master. For her sake. For the sake of my soul which she now posessed and would bestow back to me if I wished it. I did wish it! I wished it more than any ammount of power the Sith could grant me. If giving up this power was the only way I could keep her love, so be it. You are a FOOL. The Sith stated simply. Then I will go to my grave a fool, the Jedi replied, but a fool with a soul. . With that thought I raced to the edge of the embankment, looked quickly out, and saw that Master Obi-Wans hand was all that remained pertruding from the boiling pit. Maybe I was already too late. Perhaps he was already gone. But I felt the Force pull me closer to the embankment, and saw his hand moving slightly, still reaching for something, anything, to grasp and pull himself up out of the pit. I used the Force to raise him out of the pit, and place him on the ground next to me. I used my comm device to call for help, giving our coordinants in a strangled voice. Words had never failed to come to me, but now as I sat with him, waiting for help to arrive, I could not speak. It was not for naught of things to say, it was of having too much to say and not knowing if he could hear me. Or where to begin. I took his hand in mine and begged the Force to spare him. If one of us deserved to die this day it was me, I had nothing left, was nothing worth being spared. And yet I had been. Their had to be a purpose for it. But I wouldn't know what that purpose was for quite some time. His body was merely a scorched lump of flesh, barely recognizable as human, if not for those eyes. They stared at me in disbelief as I clung to him. I held his broken body to me, and stroked his brow, muttering my apologies. Tears coursed down my cheeks and fell onto his charred tunic as I tried desperately to comfort him untill help arrived. I promised then that I would help him get to a medical facility, I told him that I was still the man he knew I could be and that I was not unredeemable! I told him I loved him as a father and watched as a small smile reached over his face. A blackened hand reached up, and stroked my cheek. I read forgivness in those eyes, dark as night, but somehow, even now they shone with love and devotion as he looked at me. He couldn't speak, but he didn't need to. His eyes conveyed what no words could have. The only other person that had brought out the torrent of emotions I had coursing through me at that moment, had been Padme. Until I limped back with Master Obi-Wans medic squad to the center. I was told that even though Master Obi-Wan was badly burned, he would survive. He had an inner strength that, as long as it held out, would see him through. My lungs ached for the air that had been denied them since I entered the medi center, relief washed over me in waves as I noted that if the only factor in whether he would survive or not was his will, he would surely survive. He was too stubborn not to. -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/11/05 3:26pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil-A tragic vignette (Anakin/Vaders POV)
	Just the author checking in. -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/12/05 11:15am Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil-A tragic vignette (Anakin/Vaders POV) - Date Edited: 6/12/05 11:35am (2 edits total) Edited By: Vaders_Angel
	Chapter 3 ------------ They told me you would be unable to breathe on your own, you would need a respirator for the rest of your life. And few of your organs would function normally without constant supervision and maintenance. Your flesh had been so badly seered by the lava, that it was coming off of your bones in sheets. In order to preserve it, you would have to be bathed in tepid water once every day for a short time to make it more elastic and to relieve the pain. You would live, but you would not live the life you were accustomed to. My heart cried for you that day, for I knew you would not accept the loss. You would fight to prove them wrong, and you would fail. I didn't know how you would take having to give up the life you had not been away from since childhood. But I knew better than to think you would accept it with compliance. And I would be there to catch you when you fell, like you had always caught me. ------------------------------------------- I asked to see him, but the nurse droid told me he was being fitted for a special suit that was at the moment experimental, but served as an iron lung. I nodded and she went to attend to him. I sat with my head in my hands and softly wept to myself. I had done this to him. I alone was responsible for what my friends life would inevitably become. He had never been anything but kind to me, but I was too blind to see that. I had wanted absolute power, and might have killed my only friend to gain it. I wept not only for him, I wept for everyone that had ever met and loved or respected this man, his pupils, friends, and family. I also wept for those who had trusted me, the Jedi council, although they had only trusted me to a degree, and only because of what Obi-Wan had said to convince them. But still they had afforded me with enough confidence to accept me into the Jedi academy, even though their were some doubts. I can still remember Master Yoda, looking at me so scrutinizingly, and yet they allowed me to train under Obi-Wan who took full responsibility, just to fulfill my dreams of becoming a Jedi. And when I allowed myself to think of the most important person who I had hurt, I wept the most for her...... She had trusted me with everything in her, she had given so much of herself to be with me. Our relationship and marriage had been a secret, but if ever found out she could have lost her seat in the Senate and her chance to help her home planet. Yet she risked it. She had trusted me to help her and I had not only failed, but managed to quell many of her efforts with the missions I had been sent on be Palpetine. He had not only turned me into his servant, but he had made me go against the very thing my wife and the Jedi were fighting to preserve. But I would no longer be the one to ruin Padmes life, or stand in her way. Even if she hated me now. Even if she never wished to see me again. Oh Force, please no. I could take anything but that. I could take her yelling at me, screaming, cursing my name if it meant her happiness. But silence? That I could not bear. And as though my thoughts were seen and answered by the Force itself suddenly I saw her standing there, a vision of wonder. I couldn't see her face, but I recognized the dress she was wearing to be the one she had wore when she got off the ship and ran to me, just before we had had our disagreement....just before I.... I swallowed hard, not knowing if I should go to her or if she would run if I made a move toward her. I had done an unspeakable thing to her the last we had seen one another. When she saw me, I swore under my breath as I realized her face was a mask of terror. She was slowly backing away and reaching for one of her handmaidens, which I thought odd, as she's never liked the idea of using them as human shields, although their was no need for her to shield herself from me now. All I wished was to make an apology, for whatever it was worth, for the hell I had brought upon her. The handmaiden turned to her, and Padme said something in her ear. The maiden looked up, and after a moments hesitation, she was rushing towards me. What was the meaning behind this? Did Padme ask her servant to tell me she did not wish to speak to me? Was I not even worthy of her acknowledgnemt now, that she simply sent a messanger to me in her stead? I clenched my hands in anger and was about to storm out when I heard her voice. "Ani!!" I turned and waited, expecting to see the figure in the blue gown coming toward me, but still saw only the handmaiden. Then the voice called to me again, "Ani, please wait!" and with a start I saw her face coming in clearer as she made her way to me. The face I had loved since I was a child came fully into focus when she stood a few feet from me. ------------------------------ I'd like some feedback before I post the rest of this, just so I know it's being read by somebody before I continue writing it, otherwise I have 4 more fics I could be spending more time on if nobodies interested this one anymore, so just leave me something letting me know if it's still being read, please? puppy dog eyes -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Sara_Kenobi Registered: Sep '00	Date Posted: 6/12/05 1:45pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil-A tragic vignette (Anakin/Vaders POV)
	Oh, I'm interested. I'd like to see where this goes.
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Brant_Flir Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 6/12/05 2:26pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil-A tragic vignette (Anakin/Vaders POV)
	Very cool fic. Can't wait to read more! -----signature----- THERE SHALL BE WIDESPREAD KILLING OF OBI-WAN!!! Royal Knight of the Twin Queens of the Fortress Long Live the Fortress Undergoing a 2nd Apprenticeship to Courtney_Solo
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/12/05 4:39pm Subject: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme - Date Edited: 6/12/05 8:42pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Vaders_Angel
	Thank you guys for reading! More will be up most probably sometime later tonight, tommorrow morning at the latest, after I hopefully get a few more comments. -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/12/05 9:44pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme
	Small bump....oh and I'll have the next chapter tommorrow for sure. -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/13/05 12:54am Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme
	_Chapter 2_ She stopped there, seemingly unsure of how I would acknowledge her. If it was safe to approach me. I smiled at her. "My angel," I said softly, and she ran to me, throwing herself into my waiting embrace. I clung to her as though she were a raft in a sea of the nothingness my life had become since we'd last parted. "Ani, what's going on, they said Obi-Wan was injured. Is he alright?" I lifted my head to meet her penetrating gaze and sadly shook my head as the tears began to pour anew, "No my love, he isn't." She began to weep softly, I pulled her closer to me and wept with her, for the sheer torment of knowing I had done this to us all. As I explained it all to her, her eyes filled with abject horrer. I wept openly as I told her, I was in fact responsible for our dear friends condition. I waited for her to berate me, to curse me for what I had done, for I fully expected that she would hate me once she knew. But it didn't come. She gazed at me with compassion, with sadness, and, dare I imagine it, was their still....love, behind those eyes? Love for me? Who had been a terrible husband, unworthy of her grace and beauty, unworthy of even her acknowledgment. I didn't deserve a friend like my Padme, much less a wife. The dam that had held my emotions in control, now broke. I cried a river of hot remorseful tears as she clung to me, enfolding me into the sweetness that was her warmth. My body was wracked with sobs as my mind completely comprehended what had happened. I had betrayed the only two people who had loved me, since my mother had died. And in a way, had even betrayed my mother. She had wanted me to become a Jedi, had wished it as she lay there breathing her last breathe. And I had made promises to her, and broken them all one by one, convincing myself it didn't really matter, now that she was dead she'd never know. But as I thought of her, I could feel a pull in the Force, telling me she was weeping for me now. "Anakin Skywalker?" A nurse droid behind me inquired, I released Padme and turned to it, trying to clear my mind and be strong now for Obi-Wan. "Yes?" The Droid came up to us and said, in a female voice not too unlike Padmes, "The patient you brought in would like to see you, but we request that you only stay for a short while." My heart lurched. My stomach tied itself in a million knots as I swallowed nervously, swinging my eyes to glance at my wife. She had turned a slight bit whiter than normal at the droids request, but squeezed my hand encouragingly. "It's alright, Ani, he still loves you, I know he does. Everything will be okay. I'll be here waiting for you when you're finished." I took several deep breathes and centered myself before beginning my journey down the long narrow hallway. As I made my way to the tented area where Obi-Wan was lying, surrounded by an army of nurse droids and docters, I swallowed a nervous lump in my throat. What if he was delirious when I pulled him out of that pit, and now wanted to tell me what a worthless person I was, what an animal I had become? Would Lord Vader stand there and be berated, chastised like a child? Would any true Sith or Jedi allow themselves to be treated like a mere....slave? I loathe to use the word, but in this case it is fitting. No, I replied inwardly, but you are no longer Lord Vader. You are Anakin Skywalker, former Jedi Padawan. Former Sithlord. And former Slave. Now simply a free man, being sent before a TRUE jedi. And whatever he has to say to you, you deserve! I slowly walked up to the tented area. The droids and doctors giving me wary glances before scurrying off to feign doing some other duty. But a few remained close by. Close enough to be able to reach out and stop me if I moved to touch him in any way, which I did not. I didn't deserve their trust, so I said nothing about their lurking. Instead I spoke softly to Obi-Wan, although for the Force in me I knew not what to say. But I found once I opened my mouth, both words and tears flowed easilly from me pouring out in a tidal wave of pure raw emotion. I felt his eyes swing my way and he gazed up at me, his expression unreadable. When I tried to use the force to read his emotions, I found they were shielded, so I simply stood there, not knowing what to say to the man whos life I had almost extinguished. -------------------------------------------------- Will post more when I get a few comments Feel free to delurk here too. I'd like to know who all is reading this one as I've worked hard on it and neglected most of my other fics to make the most time I can to update this one -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/13/05 6:51am Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme (UPDATED 6/13)
	Just a tiny up. -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Scattergories winner Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 6/13/05 7:17am Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme (Updated 6/13)
	Wow, okay, now, I'm caught up and HOLY COW! The conflict in this, the AU is unbelievable! (In a good way!) I love the details of the injury, the treatment, the thoughts of delirium. -----signature----- 9 days until Breaking Dawn! Morale officer of the ACWDBTTCAOT. Thank you to the readers of Wife of Deceit for voting Amne "Best Original Character, Female" this year
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/13/05 7:19am Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme (Updated 6/13) - Date Edited: 6/13/05 7:22am (1 edits total) Edited By: Vaders_Angel
	Thank you Master The medical things are results of spending half my own life in and out of hospitals. Not for burns but I know a little medical terminology that will most likely come in useful in the next chapter. -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/13/05 5:00pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme (Updated 6/13)
	Next chapter some time tonight. -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Scattergories winner Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 6/13/05 5:03pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme (Updated 6/13)
	Looking forward to it. -----signature----- 9 days until Breaking Dawn! Morale officer of the ACWDBTTCAOT. Thank you to the readers of Wife of Deceit for voting Amne "Best Original Character, Female" this year
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