Jedi Council Forums - Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme UPDATED July 9th!

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Author	Topic: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme UPDATED July 9th!
Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/25/05 11:01am Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(Updated 6/25)** - Date Edited: 6/25/05 11:03am (1 edits total) Edited By: Vaders_Angel
	Okay I don't even know if anyones still interested in this one, but I finally finished the next post for it..(she says ten days later.. ) So here it is..Any feedback would be much appreciated! Please let me know how you like it and if it is worth continuing, or if I should ditch this one, as I don't think it has garnered much of a reader-base. Come on guys, prove me wrong! Thanks ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After our connection through the Force was severed, which wasn't long, given Obi-Wans condition and the weakness he was suffering from, I went back to join Padme, I knew she'd be rried and she was. When she saw me coming she rushed toward me and took my hands in her small, delicate ones. She peered up at my face, her eyes searching mine. I kissed her cheek, not daring a more fervant gesture and began to walk over to where we could speak in private, gesturing for her to follow. She did and I led her to a small table in the corner of the roomwhere I pulled a chair out for her. She graced me with a small smile as she sat down, and I took my place across from her. "His wounds are pretty severe, but superficial", I began slowly, wanting to spare her from as much of the greif as possible, but trying not to sugar-coat it either, as I knew she would see through that easily."He will live, just not the way he's used to. He had a mission which was either kill me or bring me in as prisoner, so I will have to go turn myself in to the senate. He is not to know of my plan. He has asked that I go into hiding, for my safety and I agreed, but I cannot hide from my guilt again, Padme." Her hands began to tremble, her face a mask of confusion. The tears welling up in those beautiful eyes tore at my heart like nothing else was capable of doing. The expression on her face rivaled the one that had touched her when I had made fully known my betrayel. I couldn't bear to see the pain that dwelled there now. Not now that I was fully aware of how much she meant to me, without the Darness clouding my vision. I quickly got up from my seat and took her in my arms, "It's alright." I cooed, stroking her hair. I only said those feeble words because they were first to come to me. I knew full well when I walked through the doors of the Senate Hall, no guards, no officers to defend me, I would quickly be taken down. They would not ask questions, they would not hold me to prosecute. They would simply anhilate me, the way I had anhilated thousands of Jedi. I was already a hunted man, they had me on video feed, killing younglings and Jedi alike. Leaving no Jedi alive in the temple. That was the way they would remember me. As the driving force of the loss of the Jedi Order. As an inhuman monster who had murdered without cause. My Padme remembered me from before I had let the Dark swallow me whole. She remembered the husband I had been, the way I used to look at her, the wat I held her in my arms. She knew the man I was deep down inside. And Obi-Wan, he would miss me I'm sure, but in time, he would realise it was better this way. The Darkness is too much a temptation for me. Even now it tries to beckon me, saying I failed, that I couldn't even cut it as a Sith. But the Senate, would not be so forgiving. They had no memory of a wide eyed lovable slave-boy from Tatooine. With my wife having relinquished her seat months ago upon becoming pregnant, I had less hope for leniancy, even if I could have proven I had changed, which of course I could not. I would immediately be sentenced, most likely to death. I only wondered how the Force I was going to break that to Padme. But I knew it had to be done. She must be prepared for the worst to happen when I step up to that table to recieve my sentance. So I gently pushed her back, smoothed a piece of cocoa brown hair away from her forehead, took her tiny hands in mine and began. "Padme, my sweetheart. I must speak to you now and you must listen. You need to be prepared for what to expect.... For what will happen once they get their hands on Darth Vader." I paused, took a deep breath and slowly continued, "Angel...I don't expect I'll be able to come back to you." The expression she gave me was one of pure shock. "They will probably...I mean, ..I'll have to atone for my actions, Padme..." I trailed off, not knowing what I was supposed to say at this moment to comfort her as her entire body convulsed in the most horrific sobs I had heard a human utter. Which was saying alot given how many people I had been responsible for making them utter simialar cries. "You can't do this to me, Ani. I just got you back, WE just got you back!" She cried, inticating her belly, large now with the burdon of our children. I felt a twinge, a pain of regret as I avoided looking at her swollen middle. It was for them I was doing this as well. I was weak when it came to my attachments. Already I had began to imagine what I would do if anything happened to them. "I have to do this." I was unfaltering. "I cannot go on running from everything, Padme. I cannot continue to be a failure and not recieving repercussions for all the horrible things I've done. What if it had been one of OUR children, Padme? What if some crazed person, had killed one of our children? Wouldn't you want justice for them? And as log as I'm here with you, I pose a great threat, for it will not take long for Sidious to track me while I'm so near. And what do you think he will do to the children if he gets hold of them?" I looked her in the eye solemnly, and noticed something crack in them. Her resolve, or her sanity at imagining someone hurting one of her babies, I could not tell. But she relented. "Alright, Ani, I will concede to whatever you wish to do. But do not expect me to be cheerful about it, or to be accepting of the fact that you are being punished for the actions of another. For that is how I see it. It was not you who commited those acts. It was your body, but your mind was that of another. I will never let my mind intertwine the two." I hugged her to me, thankful that at least she understood that, even if the laws would not. When we arrived home I slowly walked around the small apartment, taking everything in, the scent of my wifes perfume in the air. The quaintly decorated living room done in soft blue and cream hues.The bedroom, that contained so many memories, chasing Padme up and down the hallway, only to meet her at the bed and she to run around it. Just for me to run the other way and meet her at the foot, meeting her in a loving embrace that ended in creating our very own supernova. As I sat on the bed, watching her pack some things for me to take on my journey that would seperate us indefinitely, I could no longer look her in her beautiful eyes and not think of the hell I had wreaked upon her. All because of my selfish need to keep her here with me. The nightmares still plagued me. Even when I had thought Padme was no longer part of my life. But I no longer place every ounce of my faith in my dreams. They had been right about my mother, that didn't mean I would always be right. "Come here." I said, she dropped the bag she held and walked slowly to me. Pleading silently with her eyes. I held her while she cried again, only this time it was more of a gentle whimper. The kind of cry one uttered when they knew their tears were futile, and were just an expression of emotion that would not effect an inevitable outcome. I was overwhelmed by the helplessness I heard in that cry. The compassion she had for me was much more than I deserved. I tried my best to sooth away her fears, I wanted her to look at me but she refused. I felt my resolve to do what was just and the desire to please her conflicting deep within me. Finally, I relented, "I will discuss the matter with Master Yoda, before I make the decision final. I do not wish you more pain. That's the last thing I want, Padme. I'm only conflicted as to what the right course of action is." She looked at me then, confusion plain in her eyes. So I tried to explain. "You know I love you more than anything, right?" She nodded, wiping tears from her cheeks. "I have always loved you and always will, no matter what happens, never stop believing in that, even if something happens to me." She nodded again, unable to speak, I thought, from the wealth of emotion in her. "I would not wish for anything to leave you now, especially with the birth of our children so near. But if I don't face up to the truth, it will haunt me. It will eat away at me, making me unable to think of anything other than those I have hurt. I cannot feel absolved of this by simply blaming it on an alter ego. Vader may be a manifestation of evil that saw to destroy everything I hold dear. But he is a demon that I have to face, he lived inside of me. The fact is I had it in me to let him take over. It was a consciouse decision made by me, Anakin Skywalker, to let the demon grab hold. I did it for good reasons, but that does not justify it. Nor will it make people forget. Yoda once warned me, when I was a boy, that fear led to the path to the Darkness. I still have much fear in me, but now it is fear of the unknown. Not knowing if I would be recognized, even on Degobah. For the rest of my life, to live in fear of losing you all over again. Not knowing if one day someone on the street will see me, and we would be considered fugitives. I for my crimes, you for abetting my leaving, and coming with me. But I cannot help hoping, their is an alternative. Their may be some way we can live happily. I have heard Master Yoda speak of a small, uncharted planet where he goes occasionaly to be alone, to meditate. It is near Degobah, but not so near that anyone would think to look there. We would be cut off from all we have known here, Padme. You would lose contact with your family, we couldn't take a chance to visit them for a long while. And you could not tell them where we will be, they wouldn't purposely turn us over. But in the event that Sidious got hold of them, any information they had would be easily attained. He would read through them easily." She knew it was true, her parents could not shield their memories or thoughts from a Sith bent on destruction and determined to gain the information. "I will not say anything to Mother and Father about our wherabouts. But can I tell them why we have to leave? It would break mothers heart for me to simply vanish without a goodbye." She pursed her beautiful lips into a small pout, one which I thought adorable, but quickly pushed that thought out of my mind as I nodded. "But remember, not a word about where we'll be!" I called out as she rushed to the telecomm. "I don't even know where we'll be!" She called back. I smiled. Then took out my portable comm and put my call through to Master Yoda. -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Brant_Flir Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 6/25/05 1:39pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(Updated 6/25 )**
	Cool. Looking good, can't wait for more. -----signature----- THERE SHALL BE WIDESPREAD KILLING OF OBI-WAN!!! Royal Knight of the Twin Queens of the Fortress Long Live the Fortress Undergoing a 2nd Apprenticeship to Courtney_Solo
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/25/05 7:22pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(Updated 6/25 )**
	Thanks! More soon as I get a few more replies. -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Registered: Feb '02	Date Posted: 6/25/05 8:06pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(Updated 6/25 )**
	Worth the wait, great job! More soon! I hope Yoda gives them good news -----signature----- Retired Council Master of the Lightside It's all about the blues, baby "Love can ignite the stars." - ROTS novel I'm a Trekkie: Deal with it, or suffer the wrath of Khan This user is certifiably insane
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/25/05 9:17pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(Updated 6/25 )** - Date Edited: 6/25/05 9:19pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Vaders_Angel
	Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Sorry about all the typos you guys! One of my betas got busy with other things, so she kinda had to quit on me and the other has been busy as well lately so I'm looking for a new one that can spot typos and mis spells easily as I am famous for them. The next post will hopefully be done much better if I can find someone who is willing to help me. -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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InLoveWithLordVader Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/25/05 11:12pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(Updated 6/25 )**
	Great AU plot! I think you are writing this very well. The scene with Padme and Anakin in the apartment was really powerful. I will look for your next update.
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/26/05 10:31am Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(Updated 6/25 )**
	Thank you very much! This story is my pet project, so it's wonderful to see people are enjoying reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it! Hopefully I'll have the next update by wednesday at the latest. (But don't hold me to it as I'm also working on "In Your Honor" and I'm a real life mommie to a 9 month old! -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/29/05 1:56am Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(Updated 6/25 )** - Date Edited: 6/29/05 1:59am (1 edits total) Edited By: Vaders_Angel
	The next installment of this story will be out sometime next week, hopefully Friday at the latest. Once again, sorry guys. Just really busy and trying to get IYH to the halfway mark. Anyway...upsies! Any more replies, while we're waiting? -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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InLoveWithLordVader Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/29/05 9:42pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(Updated 6/25 )**
	Just a little bump. I am suprised you are not getting more feedback. I think this is really good! I am looking forward to your next update.
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/30/05 12:18am Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(Updated 6/25 )**
	Thank you for the bump, and the compliment! I'm glad to see someone is still reading this fic. -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 7/2/05 1:37pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(Updated 6/25 )**
	up....I'm trying to decide if it's worth continuing this fic as I've only gotten a few comments so let me know if you really like it and if I get enough comments I'll try to crank out an update as soon as I finish and get the next chapter posted for "In Your Honor" -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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sithrules70 Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 7/2/05 2:19pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(Updated 6/25 )**
	i do want you to finish this,i love every fiction story and i know this will be a good one,every AU when anakin doesnt turn and poor padme doesnt die is great for me to read. please PM when updated.
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 7/3/05 2:24pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(Updated 6/25 )**
	thanks...hopefully I can get more replies.. -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Vaders_Angel Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 7/3/05 6:05pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(Updated 7/03)**
	An image of the tiny Jedi Master appeared and greeted me with kind eyes, eyes that had seen much in the last month to make him distrust me still. But they betrayed no note of bitterness, only curiosity when he regarded me and said, "Greetings Skywalker, Your wife is well, I trust?" I nodded and smiled, "Yes Master, she is. We are both fine now that we have found each other again." His eyes gazed into mine, and I saw all at once the wisdom that dwelled there, born of centuries of experiances the I could only imagine. What must it be like to live so long? I wondered. To see so many things, so many monumental events, and have such an impact on shaping the gallexy into what it was, for he had truelly been one of the monumental factors in keeping the Jedi Order alive for so long. It was a wonder to me why he did not hate me for working to destroy what it had taken centuries to build. But as he stood there, I did not feel this wise ancient had it in him to hate any being. Only the Darkness itself. He didn't even hate Dooku, or Darth Sidious, he merely hated what they represented, and were trying to do. I swallowed nervously and raked my fingers through my hair, my hands were shaking slightly from the nerve of what I was about to do. But I summoned the picture of Padmes face, when she had looked at me, her cheeks streaming with tears while her tiny body shook with unbridled sobs. That was all it took to steel my resolve and tell me that what I was doing was far more important than my foolish pride and wish to be noble. I glanced down at the floor once more and then raised my eyes to humbly meet his stare, as he waited patiently for me to form my thoughts into words. "Master I don't wish to be a burdon upon you, or the council in any way." I began, "After my actions, I feel my right to request such things as this on behalf of myself is unquestionably inappropriate. However it is not me I make the request for. My wife is distraught over my decision to turn myself in to the republic, and Obi-Wan as well has made me promise to him that I will take Padme and my children and go into hiding to ensure my own safety. While I wish to make them both happy, and of course, wish to live as well, I can not stop the torrent of conviction in my own mind saying that atonement for my actions must be made. I can not in good conscience simply forget my crimes and run away like a coward. But I have made promises to those I love. I am torn in two, I don't know what to do. Can you give me any guidence on this matter, Master?" When I stopped speaking and noticed him still in the same position, never moving, with his eyes now closed, his ears twitching slightly every so often, I almost assumed that he'd fallen asleep. I was about to clear my throat quietly in an effort to wake him, but he opened his eyes and they pierced through me like a blaster. I could feel him in my mind, searching, it felt like tiny fingers rubbing the folds and curves inside my mind probing gently for any signs of dishonesty or evil still left in me. I simply allowed him to explore my inner world as thouroughly as he wished, offering no resistance. When he was satisfied, I felt the tiny fingers slip away leaving my innermost thoughts once again in solitude. He peered up at me as he nodded, then spoke. "You would be wise, Young Skywalker, to listen to your wife on matters such as these. Nothing to gain by your death, the gallexy has. Your thoughts of revenge, gone they are. Your fear, at rest now is. A threat, you are no longer. Bring strength to the new republic and be of great help to the Jedi, you must, if you wish to regain your honor. Which, read in your mind, I did. Wish to become Jedi Master, you still do. Eh?" I blushed. Perhaps I should not have opened my thoughts to him so willingly. I knew I could never gain the rank of Master now. Not with every Imperial AND Jedi in the universe having had me on their hit list. I was merely a fugitive of justice. Not a Jedi, no longer a Sith. Simply a criminal on the run who had a family to look after. I could only hope the council would accept my apologies and be willing to forgive as easilly as my wife and friend did. But Yoda seemed to already have forgiven me as well, so perhaps that was a step in the right direction. -----signature----- See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Brant_Flir Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 7/4/05 10:29pm Subject: RE: Inner Turmoil - Anakin Skywalker/Obi-wan/Vader/Padme **(NEWLY Updated 7/03 )**
	Wow, looks good. Drop me a PM when you update it again. -----signature----- THERE SHALL BE WIDESPREAD KILLING OF OBI-WAN!!! Royal Knight of the Twin Queens of the Fortress Long Live the Fortress Undergoing a 2nd Apprenticeship to Courtney_Solo
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