Jedi Council Forums - When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj) Thanks to readers!

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Author	Topic: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj) Thanks to readers!
KELIA Title: The Pretty in Pink Fan Fic Manager Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 10/20/05 3:46pm Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 4 up 10/20
	What a great update! I liked how Obi-Wan explained his own brush with the dark side to help Asajj, especially after her taunts about Anakin. BTW, are you at liberty to say if Vader is going to be make an appearence in the future? Bravo! -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 NaNaWriMo Progress: 32,105
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Zonoma Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 10/20/05 7:38pm Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 4 up 10/20
	“You said there would be no more lessons for today, Ben.” “This was not a lesson, Asajj, though if you choose to learn something from it, then may the Force will it so.” Ben stood to begin the journey home, leaving her to her thoughts. Wonderful visuals, as always, and I loved this piece of dialogue especially! I also thought the idea of Ben trying to "cleanse" Asajj from his blades was ...perceptive. Certainly, that automatic OCD rubbing of an item you've been handed is something I suffer from, anyway. -----signature----- http://zonoma.livejournal.com/
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Lovely-in-Orange Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 10/20/05 8:34pm Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 4 up 10/20
	“You look like General Grievous, you know, with your collection of fallen Jedi lightsabers.” Alas, poor Grievous... Err, I mean poor fallen Jedi. I love her taunts and that they really don't get her the results she wants. I really liked how you used setting in the fight scene too. -----signature----- Ms. Star Wars 2009 Ties of Loyalty: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/23926858/ - Imperials/OCs/Quinlan/Khaleen A Boy and His Droids: http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=20555406
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Star_Drifter Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 10/21/05 6:52pm Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 4 up 10/20
	“I was knighted the very next day and took Anakin as my Padawan immediately. Things moved very quickly for a little while, but as soon as I was able to get Anakin settled at the Temple I took some time to heal. My little brush with the Dark side took weeks of training and meditation to overcome, but I did do it. That, Asajj, is why I push you so hard. I sense your confusion, I understand what the Dark side has done to you, but I also know that you can overcome that.” Asajj is plunging her verbal knife into Obi-Wan about Anakin, and rather than seek revenge, he once again tries to help her! Great update! More, please! -----signature----- In the beginning was the Word...In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness does not comprehend it. one nation, UNDER GOD Darth Mom and Master to Ani-maniac
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oqidaun Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 10/23/05 11:50am Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 4 up 10/20
	Brilliant work! There are so many wonderful things to say about your characterization and ability to get into the "nooks and cranies" of the settings you craft. The exchange between Ventress and Obi-Wan is intelligent and true to form. I also like the depth that you're supplying each of these characters, especially Ventress. Your Obi-Wan is one of the best on the boards and I'm not saying that just because I'm your abusive Evil Master. This was my favorite passage: “You look like General Grievous, you know, with your collection of fallen Jedi lightsabers.” Petty and cruel? Yes, she knew the words would do nothing to help her case, but the man was so damned infuriating. I love that and it just continued to hang in my head even after I beta'd it. -----signature----- . . . . I'm so bad, I banned myself.
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Kynstar Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 10/23/05 1:52pm Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 4 up 10/20
	Oh man! Well now she knows that he has had some familiarity with the Darkside, perhaps she'll think better of him now. A lesson indeed, if she thinks on what he juz told her. Shoot...he told her something personaly and if anything that should be an eye opener for her. -----signature----- Paddy sis to t_s & SarkaVrae/Master to hyperspace_police Member of Rebel Legion and Jedi Assembly (Kynstar Lans) Only thru fear, hatred, and pain will the true power of the Force be revealed. See stories/viggies in bio
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Jennifer_Lyn Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 10/24/05 5:35am Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 4 up 10/20
	Humble thanks to all of you for you're wonderful comments! They really keep me going! Stella_Ripple: Thank you, my Padawan. I’m thrilled my writing could whisk you away like that! Kestrel_Kenobi: Thank you as well, Padawan. So glad you like it! Ani-maniac: If you like how Obi-Wan and Ventress come out, then I’m doing my job properly. So glad you like it! KELIA: Vader? Hmmm. Don’t know whether to comment or not. I actually haven’t written him in any of my fics, yet. Zonoma: They were not her lightsabers, after all. He didn’t want them “tainted” after she was so nasty. Thanks for reading, Z! Lovely-in-Orange: Glad you liked the fight scene! It was my first! She is a nasty piece of business, isn’t she? Star_Drifter: She’s being super defensive and reactionary and Obi-Wan knows this so he’s taking it in stride. After originally knowing so little about her, I’m growing to really like Asajj. More on Thursday! oqidaun: Oh, what do I say to that as I sit here blushing profusely except thank you? Kynstar: Yes, let’s hope that helps her to think before lashing out! -----signature----- Forever in search of the perfect Obi-Wan quote but it remains something... elsewhere. Elusive. OC revolutionaries never die, they just go into hiding. A Stirring in the Bones - http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/24526219/p5 - completed ages ago
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Jennifer_Lyn Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 10/27/05 12:52pm Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 4 up 10/20
	Hey all! Bit of a delay due to this damnable cold. I'll pm the pm listers when it's up, no worries! -----signature----- Forever in search of the perfect Obi-Wan quote but it remains something... elsewhere. Elusive. OC revolutionaries never die, they just go into hiding. A Stirring in the Bones - http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/24526219/p5 - completed ages ago
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DarthMousche Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 10/27/05 8:04pm Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 4 up 10/20
	I keep missing this! Can you add me to your PM list? What a great tension they have working together, them picking at the other in their own ways, with Asajj, of course, being more vicious. Aw, she can't help it, though. I wonder if her attitude will change with the new information... I also think it's very cool that Obi-Wan is learning to fight with two blades. Maybe that would change a few things about the future. -----signature----- Former padawan to the illustrious Jedikma ~ Out to lunch - back soon!
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Jennifer_Lyn Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 10/29/05 12:02am Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 4 up 10/20
	DarthMousche: Consider yourself added! Obi learning two blades possibly changing the future? Interesting idea for an AU. Alrighty folks, here's the next chapter, sorry for the delay, but I'm feeling much better now! Chapter 5 The sound of hundreds of feet marching in formation echoed across the brightly colored stone courtyard. White plastisteel gleaming, the Stormtroopers displayed the newest models of both armor and weaponry. Hidden from view, a young Bothan stood in a small alcove near the entrance to the former Royal Palace in Theed. It now served as the Imperial Governor’s headquarters on the small planet, its former gleam and beauty tarnished by the large guns and fortifications grafted onto it like crude cybernetic implants. A life spent in training for this kind of work still did little to prepare young Karka for the edginess he would experience once he was on the job by himself. The responsibility to his clan, especially his mother and uncles, weighed heavily on his mind. The fur on his face ruffled and he put a hand up to smooth it, taking a breath to calm himself in the process. As he did so, he watched the movements of the troops in and out of the Governor’s headquarters. Noting the pristine state of their armor, he counted their numbers and recorded the extent of their firepower. He had seen many outposts throughout the Empire while training under his mother, but none so well fortified as this. Utilizing his photographic memory, a trait inherited by most of the ‘trem Clan, he took copious mental notes. One never knew when that kind of information would come in handy, his mother had taught him well. Karka mentally ticked off the hours as he waited for his contact’s arrival. The simple task kept his mind focused, though he couldn’t help it when a small grin spread across his lips. He knew that not only had he done well in getting the information he now possessed, but he would also be getting a better price for it than he could have imagined. Though it happened rarely, it was well known throughout the galaxy that the longer you kept a Bothan waiting, the higher the price. This was no small bit of information he carried in his steel trap of a mind, either. It was already worth quite a few credits. Not bad for his first job. His mother would be quite pleased with him. It might even make her smile, something she had not done since his father was killed several years ago. As he stood waiting, he watched as a solitary dark cloud moved in, blocking the sun from view; a rare occurrence on the sunny planet. Karka learned of such omens as a child at his grandmother’s knee, remembering those tales sent a chill down his spine and he wrapped his cloak more firmly around his shoulders. He looked up at the black cloud, hoping that his contact would arrive soon so that he could go home. A flutter of dark fabric drew his attention to the entrance of the alcove and, heart leaping into his throat, he gasped as three hooded figures appeared before him, blocking the courtyard from his sight. Enclosed in further darkness, Karka stood motionless, the scent of decay now permeating the space stung at his sensitive nostrils. “A Bothan, Brother Venictum. Could this be the one we seek?” a chilling voice came from beneath a dark hood. “Yes, it could be him. Young being, you have information for us?” a similar reply leeched out from another fold of black fabric. Karka released his breath and, pushing back his nausea, replied with as much strength as he could muster. This was his deal to make or break, after all. “If you have the credits, sirs, I can help you, yes.” The three men pulled back their hoods in unison revealing their perfectly hairless scalps. The topography of the pale, waxy skin glowed softly in the dim light, disturbed only by large purple veins marking the rivers of blood below the surface. One of the three stepped closer to the Bothan. “And how much for your little bit of minutiae?” “This is no little bit of information I have for you, gents, as I’m sure you’ll agree once you’ve heard it.” Pouring his energies into his pitch, Karka’s confidence grew. “I’m sure beings such as yourselves have worked with Bothan Intelligence Brokers before. In which case, you know that the price of information increases the longer we are kept waiting. Keeps us from doing other research, you see. It’s just good business.” He did his best to keep his face neutral as he spoke, but inwardly he brimmed with excitement. “The price is 20,000 credits.” The Inquisitors shared a preternatural grin that seemed to carve itself into their frozen features. “Oh, I think that is negotiable, don’t you, young one?” Venictum made eye contact with the young Bothan, his jaundiced, bloodshot eyes holding Karka’s as he waved his hand in a subtle gesture. “You will accept what we pay you.” The youngster blinked stupidly for a moment. “No. And no mind tricks there, you. Force users, huh? I’ve been trained to block you out of my head, just so you know. What good would I be as a spy if I could be manipulated that easily?” Equatorum gave his fellows a subtle nod and stepped forward. He moved his hand in front of the Bothan’s face. “You will give us the information.” He intoned. There was another moment’s hesitation, a little longer this time, and then the young being shook his head to clear it of the more powerful suggestion. “Sorry gents. You’ll just have to pay me,” he smirked. “There’s no datachip to steal, either. It’s all locked here in my noggin.” If these three didn’t have the credits, he knew others that did and the information was too valuable to risk killing him. He was sure he would get his price. “Oh, enough of this piddle-paddling around!” the leader grunted and stepped forward. He seemed ready to wave his hand before the Bothan, who grinned defiantly. The two beings stood staring at each other for a long moment; the young Bothan and the ageless Inquisitor each with an odd smile on his face. A look of concern slowly crept across Karka’s face. Why was he feeling faint all of a sudden? What did this strange being have to smile about anyway? His knees grew weak under him and soon his legs refused to support him any further. A warmth spread down his front and he put his hands to it, then brought them before his face. The sight of his own blood unhinged him and he began to flail and crawl towards the Inquisitors, grasping for their robes in a desperate appeal for mercy. They slowly edged away from him, step by step. Each movement he made toward them took his only hope for aid further and further out of his reach until finally he moved no more. “Pick him up, Equatorum,” the leader spoke. “We shall finish this business transaction on the ship.” Equatorum nodded and lifted the Bothan over his shoulder. They made no effort to hide their presence having notified the Imperial Governor of their arrival several hours earlier. Weaving through the city streets, passing the once beautiful buildings now dull with disrepair, they made their way back to the small transport they had acquired on Terasmina. Equatorum laid the Bothan on the table in the galley. Three sets of hands deftly stripped Karka’s body of all clothing, carefully placing the few items from his pockets on the counter. This accomplished, Equatorum and Venictum moved to the sides of the cooling corpse, their leader to the head. The furred Bothan’s limbs were arranged neatly and precisely with palms facing upwards and the mouth open. Pale hands now hovered over the body, as if tasting it for some quality. “Yes,” hissed the leader, his eyes growing bright. “The knowledge we seek is here, we simply must locate it.” Putting his hands directly onto the body, he took a deep breath. “We will begin here.” Three vibroblades appeared from the depths of their cloaks and were immediately activated. Equatorum and Venictum watched eagerly as their leader sliced the Bothan’s skull open with surgical precision. Carefully, he removed the top portion of bone and closed his eyes in meditation. Grasping the Force with an iron will, he pulled out a long, red thread of energy and manipulated it into a glowing glove that wrapped around his hand. Reaching inside Karka’s head cavity, he caressed the curves of the warm mass he found within, a look of deep focus etched on his face. “There is quite a bit here that the Emperor would find most interesting.” He spoke, eyes still closed. “Once we have gotten what we need, we shall transfer the rest to milord back on Coruscant.” The other two closed their eyes as well and reached through the Force to see through their leaders eyes. Visions of open grassland filled their minds. They traveled swiftly over the terrain to a mountain range. At its edge sat a glimmering, white city, its buildings patterned and built to fit into the surrounding landscape. The picture broke apart suddenly. “Pah!” he shouted, withdrawing his damp, bony hand. “It is not here. It must be resting further down.” He grimace and waved his had over the body. “This one cared for the Jedi. It will be near his heart.” Grinning, Venictum bent over and sliced into the body’s chest, clearing muscle and nerve before breaking open the ribcage and exposing the organs within. Steam vented forth in the chilled air of their cabin as Venictum prepared his own Force glove. Repeating his leader’s process, he wrapped his hand around the Bothan’s heart and probed it with his fingers. After a moment he barked out a laugh as he removed his hand and quickly licked a finger clean. “Milord, they are both on Tatooine.” He ventured back in to poke around a little further. “Oh, how delicious. They are working together.” “Are they truly?” Equatorum questioned. “Why would they do that?” “Think, you! What better way to avoid us than to run to the one Force-sensitive least likely to take her in!” the leader smacked Equatorum on the side of his head, producing a large bruise on the overly sensitive skin. “Now that we have the information we need, let us see what else this fine Bothan has discovered in his journeys” Long into the night, loud cracking sounds reverberated throughout the small space as the Inquisitors thoroughly searched Karka’s copious memory banks. -----signature----- Forever in search of the perfect Obi-Wan quote but it remains something... elsewhere. Elusive. OC revolutionaries never die, they just go into hiding. A Stirring in the Bones - http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/24526219/p5 - completed ages ago
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Darth_Powder_Puff Registered: Oct '05	Date Posted: 10/29/05 12:33am Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 4 up 10/20
	Ooooh! They found out! Uh-oh! Lets hope Obi and Asaji have improved their teamwork- they're gonna have to if they face this lot! And what a lot! I love your OCs, they're so believable and fit right in! Again, a wonderful job -----signature----- The Sock of Doom can be your friend... Padawan to the most linguistic Darth cleddy-feg-ware-gys!
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Ani-maniac Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 10/29/05 1:24am Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 4 up 10/20
	As always those guys are just eerie... So they now know where they are... I have a bad feeling about this. Awesome work! I can't wait for the next part! Also I am glad that you are feeling better. Ani-maniac -----signature----- "I can't exactly use, 'Well, I was locked up in a secret government facility,' as my alibi." -- Alec, Dark Angel. "There is no better place to be than in God's will, unless it's in His presence." -- Last Flight Out Jesus is Lord.
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DarthMousche Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 10/29/05 6:19am Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 4 up 10/20
	Aw, did you have to give the poor Bothan a name and a mother before doing that to him? That was completely creepy and well-done. It was very touching (in a strange way) that the information about Obi-Wan was near his heart. It's little details like that one that - and the way you write OCs - that make your story really compelling. -----signature----- Former padawan to the illustrious Jedikma ~ Out to lunch - back soon!
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Kestrel_Kenobi Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 10/29/05 2:03pm Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 5 up 10/29
	Master! You really have to let me know in advance if there is any thing like this going on! Three vibroblades appeared from the depths of their cloaks and were immediately activated. Equatorum and Venictum watched eagerly as their leader sliced the Bothan’s skull open with surgical precision. Carefully, he removed the top portion of bone and closed his eyes in meditation. Grasping the Force with an iron will, he pulled out a long, red thread of energy and manipulated it into a glowing glove that wrapped around his hand. Reaching inside Karka’s head cavity, he caressed the curves of the warm mass he found within, a look of deep focus etched on his face. Totally wonderful piece of writing - Your images go right through, well, my head! I'm now really worried for our Obi Be kind to him? Brilliant work. -----signature----- I had a baby girl! July '08! Drabbles of an AU Snape - http://boards.theforce.net/non_star_wars_fan_fiction/b10808/29704506/p1/?2
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Lovely-in-Orange Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 10/29/05 2:27pm Subject: RE: When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted (Obi, Asajj - post-RotS) chap 5 up 10/29
	Aww, you made me like the poor little Bothan spy and then you had to go and do that to him. Great chapter - your descriptions are wonderfully creepy. I liked how you described the changes to Theed at the begining too. -----signature----- Ms. Star Wars 2009 Ties of Loyalty: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/23926858/ - Imperials/OCs/Quinlan/Khaleen A Boy and His Droids: http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=20555406
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