Constructive Criticism Welcome!
"... and the Jedi Rebellion has been foiled. The remaining Jedi will be hunted down and defeated. Any collaborators will suffer the same fate."
"... into the first Galactic Empire, for a safe and secure society which I assure you will last for ten thousand years. An empire that will continue to be ruled by this august body, and a sovereign ruler chosen for life... An empire ruled by the majority... Ruled by a new constitution..."
jpauln posted:Nice beginning I can't wait to see where you take this!
obsessedwithSW posted:New original character. I think this is the first story Ive read that had a knight reponding to the beacon nad then the change. I like the added demension of the knight with the force strong infant. Please keep going.
Luna_Nightshade posted:I enjoyed it as well. I wonder if perhaps Camren and his little one will hook up with Obi-Wan or Yoda at any point? Keep it comin'.
jpauln posted: I love how this story is going so far. Camren's sense of dread and desperation after learning the truth is powerful. One can only imagine how many other Jedi may be in a similar predicament (minus the added stress of an infant). I wonder if the locals will tip off the Empire? I'd hate to see Vader on his tail. I will definitely continue keeping an eye on this story!
jpauln posted:This could get interesting... two exiled Jedi on Tatooine with two young infants to train... It’s good to see that even with an infant in his arms he’s able to fight off four slightly weak-minded thugs. Good update!
PadwanKayla posted:Glad I found this! Great story so far and I love your OC. So he's Anakin's age and heading for Tatooine! This definitely could prove to be interesting. Your descriptions and action section are very effective. Looking forward to the next update!