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Author	Topic: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intertrilogy) Storm Trooper fic
Raptor517 Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 2/5/07 9:17am Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 2/5 chapter 4 Resolve
	Intersting. I like how you keep jumping back and forth with the flashbacks, but still manage to not reveal too much. And I think the engagement speech by the girl's dad was pretty good. Cort's an idiot. If the whole of the stormtrooper brigades were made up of people like him, the rebels would have it a lot easier. Thanks for the PM! Raptor517 -----signature----- Piercing the Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28010631/p1/?1 His Brother's Words http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/26020497/p1/?3 Metamorphosis http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24997946/p5/?7 Hunter's Vendetta http://
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Red_Guard Registered: Feb '07	Date Posted: 2/5/07 2:26pm Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 2/5 chapter 4 Resolve
	Powerfully good story!
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ZEGO Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 2/6/07 9:21pm Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 2/5 chapter 4 Resolve
	Great work, Cody! I enjoy how you jump between events with constant flashbacks. It displays that the strong plot of the story has been building even before the first word was typed. And I really love Cort for some reason, the character just gets me happily mad. -----signature----- Awaken Darkness- http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/23633458/p1/?4 Gamma Cell- http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27091571&brd=10476 Cole: "Please, Landon. You and Zego are in great danger!" Landon: "Welcome to Tatooine."
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CodyMonKenobi Registered: Jan '01	Date Posted: 2/7/07 12:26pm Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 2/5 chapter 4 Resolve
	Raptor517- I am glad everyone likes the flashbacks, Right now his main struggle is that he misses home.Once he gets done from training, there will be more flashbacks of his part of the wars. Red_Guard-Thanks for reading, I am glad you like it. Zego- Cort is a growing charecter [spoilier warning]He is going to die eventually and you will feel bad for him. I am glad you are enjoying it. -----signature----- We rednecks like to stay with-in the four main food groups. Steak, potatoes, gravy, and beer, with hard liquor in moderation. U.S. Army Field Artillery The Blood of Patriots http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24316253/p
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David_Skywalker01 Registered: Nov '06	Date Posted: 2/7/07 3:45pm Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 2/5 chapter 4 Resolve
	Stupid Cort Trix are for kids. Thanks for the PM! -----signature----- "A blind man should not lead a blind man or they will both fall into a hole." - Jesus IndyCar- One series, All the stars http://www.freewebs.com/therebelallianceofstarwarsgeeks - my website Worst EU people- Jacen Solo, ANY Yuuzhan Vong, Ashoka
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Roain_Xantos Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 2/11/07 2:44pm Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 2/5 chapter 4 Resolve - Date Edited: 2/16/07 2:40pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Roain_Xantos
	Chapter 1 CodyMonKenobi posted: “Isn’t this exciting. Not only do we get to join, The Emperor has chosen us to be the Empires most elite foot soldiers.” The young man said with much enthusiasm. Too young to know what he’s getting himself into isn’t he? (Don’t kill ‘im!!!) CodyMonKenobi posted: As the two young men spoke a soldier walked into the room dressed in white armor, carrying the helmet of a Storm Trooper. He had dark skin, with a shaved head and a scare and patch over his left eye. “Alright you scum. Take a seat and shut your mouths.” See...this is why I could never really join the Army (besides that excellent armor they’re coming out with in the future). I’d probably burst out laughing. That or crying... CodyMonKenobi posted: I am Master Drill Sergeant Ernst, I am the perfect killing machine, unlike you breeders. The Emperor in his infinite wisdom has decided that you should replace us because perfection is too expensive, but I want to make it clear- I hate you, you are filthy animals, and I will do everything in my power to make sure each one of you fails the training. You are not good enough to wear this armor. Get your Kriffing bags and go to transport, we are heading to Caridia.” Well, he’s nice. CodyMonKenobi posted: Palpatine is a good man. wants very much to smack him No he’s not, you di’kut ! CodyMonKenobi posted: He tried to stay focused but he got lost in her long brown hair, blue eyes, slender body, and angelic face. CodyMonKenobi posted: The fact that she sought him out for help, instead of a social call was a big blow to his pride, but he never showed it. snicker Poor guy. CodyMonKenobi posted: “A friend of my fathers, his name is Bail Organa.” Oh-so-casually, I imagine. Boys... CodyMonKenobi posted: If Anakin Skywalker was the media picture hero for the republic during the wars, Darth Vader was now during the Empire. Ironic, no? (maybe not...idk, haven’t gotten to that in Lit yet.) CodyMonKenobi posted: It was hard to concentrate with his loud rhythmic breaths filling the room, he almost believed tat Lord Vader's breathing was stealing the air from his own lungs I love that imagery! ( that I have gotten to. lol) CodyMonKenobi posted: Now if you will excuse me I have a lot of work to get done. Yeah, like squishing a Wookie rebellion, taking over the galaxy...that kind of thing. ( Squashing might’ve sounded better, but I like squishing .) Chapter 2 CodyMonKenobi posted: Right now breeders, the real fun is gonna begin Somehow, I think his definition of fun is vastly different from theirs...just a hunch. CodyMonKenobi posted: The other two started yelling out names and passing out uniforms, which were camouflage fatigues instead of the pristine looking Storm Trooper armor. And of course, they were the ones complaining about the shabla white armor in the beginning. lol CodyMonKenobi posted: I can not do anything to change the Emperor’s mind about replacing us with you breeders, so I will take my frustration out on you. Bitter? Nah. CodyMonKenobi posted: “WN-382, come to my office immediately.” So much for going unnoticed... CodyMonKenobi posted: Enough with the pleasantries, that’s not why you’re here. Well, duh. Chapter 3 CodyMonKenobi posted: Arness followed his leader down to the court yard. All the drill sergeants, to include the other three platoons were waiting in full gear. One held electro-binders. They motioned for him to step on a platform, when he did the binders were placed on him and lifted him above the ground. Conri stood in front of him wearing all his armor, save his helmet. “It is time that you be re-trained Greyhelm, I’ll make a Trooper out of you, and you will never question an order again.” I’ve got a bad feeling about this...[/obi-wan] CodyMonKenobi posted: Jo clapped her hands together in victory, “You see I’m not the only one.” She then began clearing the table, and Drea got up to help her. The rest of that night Hal and Jo spent bragging about Arness to Drea, telling stories about him from when he was growing up, and showing her pictures. Note to self: never bring boyfriend home...bring a fiancée instead so he’s already asked me to marry him, and probably won’t change his mind after meeting my parents. Also: burn embarrassing pictures that my sister could use for blackmail. If all else fails, become a nun. CodyMonKenobi posted: “I wasn’t ease dropping,” she explained and then hugged them both. Oh, I’m sure... CodyMonKenobi posted: A group calling themselves the Rebel Alliance has claimed responsibility Yea, buddy! Whoops, wrong side! CodyMonKenobi posted: And others, like Arness, prayed that their loved ones weren’t caught in the cross fire. CodyMonKenobi posted: His face hurt from smiling so much, he feared that his face might stick that way. CodyMonKenobi posted: Arness blushed and got suddenly nervous, “It was nothing, we were just talking.” He said faster than he meant to. Chapter 4 CodyMonKenobi posted: They started the day off with a 10k march through the forest. Nothing like sweating out a pint or twenty first thing in the morning. (not that I’d know. lol) CodyMonKenobi posted: The laser beam grazed Arness’ left arm and rocked into Master Drill Sergeant Ernst, extinguishing the life from him. Despite everything, I kinda liked the buggar... I like this a lot CMK. Sorry it took so long for me to get this together. ~*Roain <>< -----signature----- Little Miss Fem Mando Team Edward <3 Ke barjurir gar'ade, jagyc'ade kot'la a dalyc'ade kotla'shya. VaderLVR64's Padawan and ShadowofLures and Shadowfax_'s E-sister Glory, glory, Man United!
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BigE Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 2/16/07 10:24pm Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 2/5 chapter 4 Resolve
	You've crafted quite an interesting story, CodyMon. I'm hooked! Arness is a great character. I agree about the flashbacks - they're working wonderfully. Just the other day I was thinking about Highlander, and the flashbacks in that movie and how well that worked to give characters depth. Something I may try someday. There was something I noticed that was a sort of running 'bit' in your tale, and summarized quite well at the end of your last chapter: With a little bacta Arness was as good as new in no time. That bacta is handy stuff, huh? Rough 'em up, fix 'em up. Reminds me of RoboCop: "They'll fix you. They fix everything." If you're sending PM's, add me to the list. -----signature----- Aha! That's it. Hold it right there. Pronoun trouble. It's not "he doesn't have to shoot YOU now," it's "he doens't have to shoot ME now." Well I say he DOES have to shoot me now!! So shoot me now!
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CodyMonKenobi Registered: Jan '01	Date Posted: 2/17/07 5:56pm Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 2/5 chapter 4 Resolve
	First off thanks everyone for your kind words, it really means a lot to me. I will write an update with-in the next four days, I am going to try and keep this thing moving. Here is the PM list, if you want to be removed then please let me know. 1. TigerofRobare 2. ZEGO 3. Raptor517 4. David_Skywalker01 5. Roain_Xanatos 6. BigE -----signature----- We rednecks like to stay with-in the four main food groups. Steak, potatoes, gravy, and beer, with hard liquor in moderation. U.S. Army Field Artillery The Blood of Patriots http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24316253/p
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CodyMonKenobi Registered: Jan '01	Date Posted: 3/4/07 3:23am Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 3/4 Ch. 4 Duty and Honor
	Well here is a late chapter 5. You'll have to forgive me I got writers block. I hope you enjoy this little tidbit about what Arness did during the Clone Wars, I know i eluded early on that he had but never got into it. I have told about all I can about he and Drea for right now, so I am moving on to this part. And I will get more into it on the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy this. It has been a long process writing it. Chapter 5 Duty and Honor The Drill Sergeants came in and woke everyone up early. Today was the day, and there was energy in the air. After ten weeks at Caridia they would be measured for their personal armor, and be issued temporary suits. They marched to the other side of the base to the armory, three kilometers. Not much, they had done more than that on several occasions. They passed through to in a single file line, the supply NCO was a Twi’lik, it was kind of a surprise, other than the Rodian criminal that Cort executed, none of them had seen an alien. He nonchalantly passed them a back pack full of armor, when some one would start to open the bag he would always say, “They’re all the same size move along.” The Armor was heavy, but not to heavy. Then they moved in to another room where there were two human females, measuring and recording the data. Neither one of them were much to look at, but they were by far the best looking sentient they had seen in some time. Everyone was in pretty high spirits, and the Drill Sergeants didn’t bother them too much. After that was finished it was the march back to the barracks. It was then that it occurred to Arness that they were about to done armor made for clones, there was with out a doubt going to be some size issues, with a group off guys that were different sizes. They got back to the barracks and it was just as Arness had thought. Everyone was complaining about something, Arness’ boots were half a size to small, and his helmet was to big. To top it off the Armor was old; He figured it was made around the time off The Battle of Geonosis. Conri opened the door to his office and yelled for Arness. He rushed in a stood at Parade rest. “You need to make a roster of people to do watch tonight, make it one or two hour rotations, so everyone will get a decent amount of sleep. We’re going to leave early today, get your armor polished tonight. If it’s not the right size you’ll just have to deal with it till we get yours in.” “Yes Drill Sergeant.” Conri sat silent for a moment, as if he were thinking. “Oh yeah, we have a mission next week. We are going off planet to Necropolis. You guys will be joining the garrison for a week on patrols. Everyone needs to be ready and on their toes. Their have been several more attacks from the Rebels. Some weapons factories and Shipyards were attacked and they took everything they could get.” Arness frowned and let out a long sigh. These Rebels bothered him, civil war was brewing and he was about to be on the lines. “Yes Drill Sergeant, is there anything else?” “Not that I can think of, you can go.” Arness left and relayed the message to everyone. All anyone could talk about was the mission. Rit Zajar got up and started running his mouth, “I hope the Rebels attack us. I mean we’re a bunch of hardcore killing machines.” Everyone started laughing, something that wasn’t heard much. “You couldn’t shoot a bantha at close range in the middle of the day Zajar,” Ryan teased. “No, but I could you. You’re helmet is to small, its so fat I could shoot it a kilometer a way.” They continued to tease one another and laugh for a few minites. Arness just laughed at the two until he became the focus of everyone. “Greyhelm was in the wars, he knows what combat is like. Tell us about it,” Rit said. “No, I don’t really want to talk about it.” “Aww come on. What’s wrong did you kill someone?” Arness just sat there and stared into the void, some memories just wouldn’t go away. *** 4 years ago Arness had joined the Boz Pity Republican Guard much to his father’s dismay. The war started, and he left school to do his part. He spent his career in a ceremonial position. Even when the C.I.S. came and took control of a few regions of Boz Pity Arness was stuck guarding the Government building in the capital. The Boz Pity military held the small group of C.I.S. Army in check on their own, with little help from the Republic. It wasn’t long after the fall of Selicumia that the much needed reinforcements arrived. Arness’ shift was nearly over, like every day since the war had began this one was very quiet. The Seperetists had control of the Thuama Region, also none as the graveyard because an ancient race of giant like creatures once lived their and there bones littered the area. Hal Greyhelm made it a point to keep Arness away from the fighting. Then two robed figures walked into the Prime Minister’s outer cloister. Arness had never seen the man or young woman before, “Halt, who goes their?” The two stopped as they were told and raised their hands to show they meant no harm. “I am Jedi Master Quinlan Vos, this is my associate Jedi Krystall Niam. We would like to talk to The Prime Minister.” Arness quickly relayed the message to his father, who was happy to welcome the Jedi. The door was shut behind them. Arness tried to listen to what was being said, but unfortunately his father’s office was quite sound proof. Arness was very close to the door when something startled him. “What’s going on?” came the voice of Dantrig Finer, his replacement. He felt like he had jumped ten feet off the ground at the sound of Dantrig’s voice. “There are two Jedi Knights on my father’s office,” Arness said in a hushed tone. “Great maybe we’ll get some reinforcements, I heard that Count Dooku was killed yesterday,” He replied with the same hushed tone. “It’s about time, looks like this war is almost over.” “Yeah. Why are we whispering?” Arness sat there for a minute his mouth a gape he didn’t know why he was talking so low. It wasn’t like it was a matter of planetary security. He finally answered a loud, “I don’t know.” The door opened and the two Jedi walked out. Arness thought he caught the female Jedi glancing at him. She was pretty. She was shorter than him, and had pale skin with blue hair and eyes. He quickly removed the thoughts of her and looked at his father who was staring at him. “May I talk to you sir?” “Yes Arness, I have about ten minutes.” The two walked into Hal’s office Hal sat, but Arness stood at attention. “Arness, no one is around. You don’t have to play this military thing with me I am your father. Sit down son.” Arness sat across from his dad. He took a couple of deep breaths. “I heard Dooku is dead.” “Yes that’s what they are saying.” “Are the Jedi going to bring reinforcements?” “Yes, they believe that this is where the C.I.S. launched their attack on Coruscant from. They are about to land their troops, and head toward the Graveyard region.” Arness had made enough small talk. It was time that he get to his point, his father was a very busy man, but he always made time for his family. “I want a transfer; I want to go to the front lines. I didn’t join the army to sit here and do nothing.” Hal sighed, “Absolutely not. I will not send you there, As far as I am concerned you can spend the rest of your military career watching my door, and running errands. I told you not to join, but you were just to gun ho.” Both of their voices were elevated. “I am not a child any more. I trained to fight for this war and by the stars that’s what I am going to do. Not you, not anybody is going to stop me.” Hal’s face was bright red, his temper was flared. When he screamed Arness thought that everyone would hear them. “No. No damn it. I’ve lost on child, you don’t know what that feels like. Do you want to put your mother through that pain again? I didn’t raise you to be some grunt remembered for his heroics on a battlefield before he died. I want you to be somebody.” Hal’s face filled with tears. The argument brought up memories Arness’ sister Celia who died before he was born due to a speeder accident. Arness knew that must have been hard on his parents, but he felt like he was betraying his duty. “You’re right dad. I’m sorry, but I’m not Celia, I’m not going to die.” He said calmly. Hal took a few deep breaths and wiped the tears from his face, “I know, because I am going to keep you where it is safe.” Arness walked out of the room and went for a walk. He wasn’t sure how he felt anymore. He didn’t want to cause his parents too much stress, but at the same time he didn’t want to betray his friends. Before he knew it he was outside in the courtyard staring up at the sky as ten Republic Star Destroyers were landing. He looked next to him and the blue haired Jedi stood next to him. He was just close enough to notice she had a small scar on her chin, but she was still pretty. “When do you guys leave?” “It’ll take about an hour or two to unload everything and then we will be ready to move.” Arness thought about his the argument with his father. What better way to get what I want and still be safe, then to stay with a Jedi. “I am Lieutenant Greyhelm,” he said with an outstretched hand. “How do you do Lieutenant?” “Just fine. I am going with you.” *** Everyone stood their blabbing, hoping for some excitement. Arness just sat and finally chimed in. “All of you may think that excitement is what you want. But the first time a blaster bolt, a real blaster bolt flies past your head. When the earth around you is exploding, and you see grown men lying on the ground, hurt, in the fetal position crying for their mom’s. Plus this war is different. We had it easy, see a battle droid, and you kill it. No we are facing sentient. It could be anybody, and you won’t know until they’ve attacked. If I don’t see another day of war, I won’t be upset.” Arness walked back to his rack and lay down. Everyone had a lot of respect for him, and could see that the talk of battle was bothering him, so they all separated and went back to doing other things, playing sabaac, or just enjoying themselves. For the rest of the day there was no Rebel Alliance. -----signature----- We rednecks like to stay with-in the four main food groups. Steak, potatoes, gravy, and beer, with hard liquor in moderation. U.S. Army Field Artillery The Blood of Patriots http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24316253/p
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David_Skywalker01 Registered: Nov '06	Date Posted: 3/4/07 9:56am Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 3/4 Ch. 4 Duty and Honor
	Another great update! Thanks for the PM! -----signature----- "A blind man should not lead a blind man or they will both fall into a hole." - Jesus IndyCar- One series, All the stars http://www.freewebs.com/therebelallianceofstarwarsgeeks - my website Worst EU people- Jacen Solo, ANY Yuuzhan Vong, Ashoka
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Roain_Xantos Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 3/4/07 1:17pm Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 3/4 Ch. 4 Duty and Honor - Date Edited: 3/5/07 6:06pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Roain_Xantos
	yay Good post, CMK! I'm looking forward to more of this. ~*Roain <>< EDIT: I could get specific, couldn't I? Great details and background. I'm glad to see you fleshing out the characters more. -----signature----- Little Miss Fem Mando Team Edward <3 Ke barjurir gar'ade, jagyc'ade kot'la a dalyc'ade kotla'shya. VaderLVR64's Padawan and ShadowofLures and Shadowfax_'s E-sister Glory, glory, Man United!
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Raptor517 Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 3/4/07 10:25pm Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 3/4 Ch. 4 Duty and Honor
	Both my uncles, my grandfather, and four of my friends have all seen combat. And they always come back different, usually unwilling to talk of it. You did a great job redescriving what I've seen in them. Well done. Raptor517 -----signature----- Piercing the Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28010631/p1/?1 His Brother's Words http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/26020497/p1/?3 Metamorphosis http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24997946/p5/?7 Hunter's Vendetta http://
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ZEGO Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 3/4/07 10:43pm Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 3/4 Ch. 4 Duty and Honor
	Poor Arness, post-traumatic stress can be very crippling, especially when it's caused by war. Very well written chapter, Cody. Your skills only increase with each update. -----signature----- Awaken Darkness- http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/23633458/p1/?4 Gamma Cell- http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27091571&brd=10476 Cole: "Please, Landon. You and Zego are in great danger!" Landon: "Welcome to Tatooine."
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BigE Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 3/5/07 10:17am Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 3/4 Ch. 4 Duty and Honor
	Some great back-story on Arness, and how he came to be where he is today. -----signature----- Aha! That's it. Hold it right there. Pronoun trouble. It's not "he doesn't have to shoot YOU now," it's "he doens't have to shoot ME now." Well I say he DOES have to shoot me now!! So shoot me now!
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Brant_Flir Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 3/8/07 10:23am Subject: RE: The Blood of Patriots (OC's Intretrilogy) Storm Trooper ficUpdate 3/4 Ch. 4 Duty and Honor
	Amazing fic! I'm hooked. Add me to that PM list, will ya? -The One -The Only -The Flir ~Brad -----signature----- THERE SHALL BE WIDESPREAD KILLING OF OBI-WAN!!! Royal Knight of the Twin Queens of the Fortress Long Live the Fortress Undergoing a 2nd Apprenticeship to Courtney_Solo
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