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Topic:
The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 10/2
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Jaya Solo
Registered:
Jul '99
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Date Posted:
10/21/06 5:08pm
Subject:
The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 10/2
- Date Edited:
10/2 9:13pm (15 edits total)
Edited By:
Jaya Solo
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Title: Palpatine’s Blog
Author: Jaya Solo
Timeframe: Pre-TPM through RotJ
Characters: Palpatine
Genre: Dark Humor
Summary: Do you dare know the thoughts of the once and future sith lord?
Yipee!
Mood: Excited 
Today I met a Sith Lord!
And he wants to train me to be his apprentice.
He is a splendid man who said that those pathetic Jedi did not see my talent. He said they were afraid of how powerful I would become.
The Jedi will pay for their insolence.
-The Future Dark Lord of the Sith
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Lightsaber Building
Mood: Well pleased 
Training is going well. I have just built my first lightsaber. The blade color is of course red. Red like blood or love… I mean blood. Love is for Jedi. The saber is black like the darkest night or like that bug that hit my speeder on the way home… Yes, my saber is the color of dead bugs that spread their guts across the window… Wait, scratch that. It’s the color of the darkest night and the blood of my enemies that stand in my way.
Yes… that’s it.
Master Plagueis says I am doing well in my training. He believes that I will become a very powerful Sith Lord one day. Perhaps as powerful as he is.
I think I will grow more powerful, but I can’t let him know that. He’s really paranoid about his apprentices killing him in the middle of the night. Seems that’s how he lost his last two… He killed them before they could kill him.
Can’t say I blame him. If they can’t conceal their emotions or ideas from their master, then they have no right to live.
Tomorrow, we shall start constructing a new identity for me. Something about me slowly taking over the galaxy with my master.
This should be fun.
-The Future Sith Lord who will become Palpatine tomorrow
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And my Sith name is…
Mood: Delighted 
Today was a magnanimous day! I was christened Darth Sidious by my master.
My role as infiltrating Naboo society and making myself a powerful political figure is also going well. The little imbeciles don’t know how badly they’re being manipulated.
My master has revealed to me that he has discovered the secret of creating life. This should provide for an interesting experiment.
-Darth Sidious
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Ah, what fools these Naboo be…
Mood: Devious 
Today I was elected to the Naboo advisory council. I am able to advise the King. Soon I shall be sent off to the Senate to do what’s best for Naboo. Well, really, what’s best for me.
Master and I have been starting our grand plan for taking over the galaxy. Pity that he’s not really needed for this plan.
-Head Advisor, Palpatine
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Contacts are key
Mood: Plotting 
Today I made contact with the Trade Federation. I think they will be of great importance in the future.
-Darth Sidious
-----signature-----
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Jaina_Solo_15
Registered:
Dec '02
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Date Posted:
10/21/06 5:14pm
Subject:
RE: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor)
- Date Edited:
10/21/06 5:19pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Jaina_Solo_15
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Claiming first post!
Jaya Dear ~
I love you dearly, but you're ebil! Ebil, I tell you! And I'd better get grandappies for this! 
*ahem*
I shudder at your evil genius...also, at the thought of Darth Sidious saying Yippee. I'm kinda picturing him in RotJ taunting Luke in the Death Star throne room and then busting out a 'Yipee! He's trying to kill me, Ani! Yipee!' and it is very disturbing to say the least.
And I particularly loved the touch with the moods and the smilies.
Btw, when I write a sequel to The Biography of Mary Sue...it's totally getting dedicated to you. 
-----signature-----
http://jaina47.livejournal.com/ - Come here for fic teasers & writing news
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Dorme_Amidala
Registered:
Oct '06
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Date Posted:
10/21/06 5:28pm
Subject:
RE: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor)
- Date Edited:
10/21/06 7:51pm (2 edits total)
Edited By:
Dorme_Amidala
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I'm looking forword to more. Do you have a PM list? If you do could you please add me to it?
-----signature-----
“Love Can Ignite The Stars”  If You Remeber to Smile, You'll Forget To Cry.
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Killik_Twilight
Registered:
Apr '05
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Date Posted:
10/21/06 7:59pm
Subject:
RE: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor)
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Hahaha, Palpatine is funny.
Great job.
KT
-----signature-----
"Those who have long enjoyed such privileges as we enjoy forget in time that
men have died to win them."
Franklin D. Roosevelt
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Ladynaye
Registered:
May '05
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Date Posted:
10/21/06 8:06pm
Subject:
RE: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor)
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Please PM me with updates!!
-----signature-----
The Sith Code:
Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me.
I am a Dark Lady of the Sith
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Kyana-Morgaine
Registered:
Oct '04
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Date Posted:
10/22/06 2:42am
Subject:
RE: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor)
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Love that!!!! Great start! Please add me to your PM list!
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KELIA
Title: Fan Fiction Moderator
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
10/22/06 6:19am
Subject:
RE: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor)
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I loved Palpatine's attempts to find the perfect way to describe his lightsaber!
If you have a PM list, please add me? 
This is hilarious
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Luna_Nightshade
Registered:
Jan '06
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Date Posted:
10/22/06 9:40am
Subject:
RE: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor)
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Hehehehehe.
I love the "contacts are key" and the funny emoticons, especially next to plotting. Palpatine attempting to describe his lightsaber was priceless, too. This is so silly.  I love it. I can't wait to find out what he's going to say about Obi-Wan, Padme, and Anakin. That ought to be priceless--I bet he has something to say about Padme's head gear in TPM.
Much , Jaya. This is hilarious.
-----signature-----
You can learn a lot about things
if you just step back and look.
**Catching up. Please be patient.**
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EquestrianJedi07
Registered:
Mar '06
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Date Posted:
10/22/06 12:48pm
Subject:
RE: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor)
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So we finally get a look into the, er, interesting mind of our favorite Sith Master. "Yippee!"
Awesome... can't wait for more!
-----signature-----
"All who gain power are afraid to lose it." ~ROTS Star Wars, Harry Potter, and horses for life! "That was like 'Empire Strikes Back' cool!" ~Alias e-sis to Crystal, Maddie, and Dee ~Member of Vader's Mousedroid Society~
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NYCitygurl
Title: Manager of SFFBC, C&G, and NSWFF
Registered:
Jul '02
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Date Posted:
10/22/06 2:28pm
Subject:
RE: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor)
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Jaya, this is wonderful!!! The moods with the smilies are a nice touch
Training is going well. I have just built my first lightsaber. The blade color is of course red. Red like blood or love… I mean blood. Love is for Jedi. The saber is black like the darkest night or like that bug that hit my speeder on the way home… Yes, my saber is the color of dead bugs that spread their guts across the window… Wait, scratch that. It’s the color of the darkest night and the blood of my enemies that stand in my way.
ROTFLMAO!!
If you're starting a PM list, please add me to it
-----signature-----
"Not till the moon falls. Not till the world ends."
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Jaya Solo
Registered:
Jul '99
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Date Posted:
10/23/06 11:02am
Subject:
RE: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor)
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Jaina_Solo_15
Claiming first post!
Jaya Dear ~
I love you dearly, but you're ebil! Ebil, I tell you! And I'd better get grandappies for this!
Why thank you.
*ahem*
I shudder at your evil genius...also, at the thought of Darth Sidious saying Yippee. I'm kinda picturing him in RotJ taunting Luke in the Death Star throne room and then busting out a 'Yipee! He's trying to kill me, Ani! Yipee!' and it is very disturbing to say the least.
I think I finally got it… so he’s saying Yipee because Luke is on the brink of falling into the Dark Side?
So I’m an evil genius now, am I? Mwahahhahahhahhahahaa. 
And I particularly loved the touch with the moods and the smilies.
Why thank you. I thought it made it more of a blog. 
Btw, when I write a sequel to The Biography of Mary Sue...it's totally getting dedicated to you.
How sweet of you.
Dorme_Amidala
I'm looking forword to more. Do you have a PM list? If you do could you please add me to it?
It’ll go through all of saga hopefully.
Killik_Twilight
Hahaha, Palpatine is funny.
Thanks! It was fun making him funny.
Great job.
Ladynaye
Please PM me with updates!!
Glad you liked it!
Kyana-Morgaine
Love that!!!! Great start! Please add me to your PM list!
Thanks! His blog was fun to write.
KELIA
I loved Palpatine's attempts to find the perfect way to describe his lightsaber!
Thanks! I had actually written this some time ago, and when I read over it again and burst out laughing at that part, I knew I had to post it.
This is hilarious
Thanks!
Luna_Nightshade
Hehehehehe.
I love the "contacts are key" and the funny emoticons, especially next to plotting.
It’s hard with only the few emoticons that the JC displays. But yes, he’s making his contacts. I do that too… oh crud…
Palpatine attempting to describe his lightsaber was priceless, too.
Yeah, that was the reason I posted it. That part made me laugh after not reading it for months.
This is so silly. I love it.
Yeah… I do humor well, don’t I?
I can't wait to find out what he's going to say about Obi-Wan, Padme, and Anakin. That ought to be priceless--I bet he has something to say about Padme's head gear in TPM.
Yeah, thanks to you he will.
Much , Jaya. This is hilarious.
Thanks!
EquestrianJedi07
So we finally get a look into the, er, interesting mind of our favorite Sith Master. "Yippee!"
Hehe.
Awesome... can't wait for more!
Thanks!
NYCitygurl
Jaya, this is wonderful!!! The moods with the smilies are a nice touch
Thanks! It actually started out as his diary, but I think someone did that already and a blog seemed more up-to-date… went down hill from there. The mood and emoticons were to make it seem more blog like. Glad it worked.
Training is going well. I have just built my first lightsaber. The blade color is of course red. Red like blood or love… I mean blood. Love is for Jedi. The saber is black like the darkest night or like that bug that hit my speeder on the way home… Yes, my saber is the color of dead bugs that spread their guts across the window… Wait, scratch that. It’s the color of the darkest night and the blood of my enemies that stand in my way.
ROTFLMAO!!
Hehe. Love the train of thought there.
PM List
Dorme_Amidala
Ladynaye
Kyana-Morgaine
KELIA
NYCitygurl
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queenberuthiel
Registered:
Oct '05
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Date Posted:
10/23/06 11:46am
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor)
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Those people on Naboo.  If only they had known.
Jaya Solo posted:
I think I will grow more powerful, but I can’t let him know that. He’s really paranoid about his apprentices killing him in the middle of the night. Seems that’s how he lost his last two… He killed them before they could kill him.
And since I know my master's fear of dying in his sleep, I shall kill him in his sleep. Muhahahaha.
This is funny, Jaya!
-----signature-----
Ninja wanna be.
Also fear my awesome Avatar powers.
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Jaya Solo
Registered:
Jul '99
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Date Posted:
10/25/06 3:17pm
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor)
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queenberuthiel
Those people on Naboo. If only they had known.
Yep. Silly Naboo.
I think I will grow more powerful, but I can’t let him know that. He’s really paranoid about his apprentices killing him in the middle of the night. Seems that’s how he lost his last two… He killed them before they could kill him.
And since I know my master's fear of dying in his sleep, I shall kill him in his sleep. Muhahahaha.
‘tis ironic, isn’t it?
This is funny, Jaya!
Thanks!
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Jaya Solo
Registered:
Jul '99
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Date Posted:
10/25/06 3:20pm
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor)
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Where do babies come from?
Mood: Meh 
My master has succeeded in creating life! With just using the Force. Not that old, boring way. Not that I know anything about that.
But the doddering idiot put the child in a slave woman! How foolish was he! Now we’ve lost the blasted woman.
Oh well, I’m sure she and the child will turn up sooner or later.
-Darth Sidious
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A funny thing happened today…
Mood: Evil
The thing my master feared the most has come to pass. He has been slain by his apprentice. And to think, with all of that Force power, he never saw it coming.
He had all of the power of the Dark Side, the power to create and sustain life, but he couldn’t prevent his own death.
It’s a marvelous irony.
Now I can get on with my bigger plan: taking over the galaxy.
First step: Get elected to the Senate, then find an apprentice and begin training him.
-Darth Sidious
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Dorme_Amidala
Registered:
Oct '06
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Date Posted:
10/25/06 3:26pm
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 10/25
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Thanks for the PM.
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“Love Can Ignite The Stars” If You Remeber to Smile, You'll Forget To Cry.
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Kyana-Morgaine
Registered:
Oct '04
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Date Posted:
10/25/06 3:28pm
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 10/25
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Great update!
Palpatine does prefer the old way of creating life, doesn't he *hahaha*? Can't stop laughing! Keep up the good work!
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