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Topic:
The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 7/12
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Force_Chick
Registered:
May '08
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Date Posted:
5/28 6:16pm
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 5/20
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I'm new to the boards and just discovered this fanfic section. I have to say that this is the best piece of fan fic that I've come across. I laughed so hard I thought my husband was going to have me committed. 
Please add me to the PM list for further updates.
Thanks!
FC
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May the Horse be with you!
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Jaya Solo
Registered:
Jul '99
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Date Posted:
6/12 10:50pm
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 5/20
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Friendly service announcement. 
The 2008 Fan Fiction Awards are taking nominations now for your favorite stories. You can find more info here that'll tell you how to nominate and so on. You can even ask questions there if you're new.
I'm glad to see all of the new faces and the ones that haven't given up on this story despite the very long time in between posts. Palpy appreciates it too. He's happy to have someone read his blog. He really does get so lonely at the top (possibly because he kills everyone else around him...)
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Tatooine_Ghost
Registered:
Jul '06
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Date Posted:
6/15 12:35pm
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 5/20
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loved it.
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Where were you when the world stoped turning that one September Day?
WJFC means never having to say you're sorry.
Senator of the Old Jedi Order Fan Club
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Handmaiden_Azul
Registered:
Dec '05
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Date Posted:
6/16 8:17pm
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 5/20
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Don't know if I'm still on the PM list but I would still like to be.
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Jaya Solo
Registered:
Jul '99
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Date Posted:
6/17 6:48am
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 5/20
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I think you're still on the PM list. Sometimes I don't send a new one out if someone has unread PMs from me.
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Jaya Solo
Registered:
Jul '99
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Date Posted:
7/12 8:31pm
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 5/20
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Thanks for the nominations guys! I qualified for Best Humor.  Thanks!
Saga is still accepting votes until the 15th. I highly suggest checking out the excerpt thread if you're looking for new stories. I found several that I really liked. More info on Saga can be found here or for general "what the heck is this awards business?" questions, you can find more info here.
Idrelle_Miocovani
-Emperor...........
I guess the caffeine wore off while he was typing.
Heh. Something like that. 
OMG!!!!1!
!!!!11!1!!!11!!11!!!!!1!!1!!1!
Heh. I've seen people do that by mistake and figured it would be funny for Palpy to say.
I love the emoticons. Especially when "bored" is followed by  . I would have thought it was supposed to be instead, but then, this is Palpay we're talking about.
Well, he figured a way to make him not bored.
Excellent update, Jaya!
Thanks!
The Musical Jedi
I'm guessing he's not going to be happy when he discovers his apprentice was burnt to a crisp. I mean, no legs and barely any arms?
Made that into a post. Heh.
Hilarious!
Thanks!
geno
Well he might be glad he got his new appy and that said appy's wife is now dead, which is sad but what he most likely not aware of is the fact 2 Jedi surived, not to mention the bigger problem of the fact appy's wife give birth to twins one of which does a couple of major things, first being taking out the ultimate weapon or so Emperor Palpatine thought and the second thing actually leads to his personal destruction which is bring his new appy back the lightside.
Shhhh. You'll spoil his good mood. Let him think everything is going as planned.
Forgot the fact the new appy becomes slightly crispy as a result of one the 2 remaining Jedi's and thereby is not quite as much of a threat to overthrow Palpatine because he doesn't really have the Force power to do so because of his encounter with his former master and ends up in mencing suite
I don't think that was what he planned but only he knows what he planed but at least the war is over at least for a little bit
He'll pretend it did.
Wonder what he'll blog next
More “telling” of how it went?
Thanks for the pm, good update and look forward to more
Thanks!
Irish_Jedi_Jade
Woot! My night became lovely when I saw the PM! Awesome awesome Jaya, as always! I love the repetition...so funny! You just have such an amazing way of writing him...so sadistic, sarcastic, and silly at the same time.
If you've ever seen Family Guy, I read this in Stewie's voice. Or maybe Brain from Pinky & the Brain (Animaniacs). Thanks for the compliment.
Hallelujah for Updates! Can't wait for more (as usual!) but those were spectacular!
Hehe. Thanks.
VaderLVR64
She's dead! My life's work is complete!
YEEEEEEEESSSSS!
WOOOOOOOO!
She's dead she's dead she's dead she's dead.
Wait.
My life's work is complete?
But I'm only 42.
Shut up. I'm really 42. Seriously. Stop laughing. I can still see you laughing. I'm ignoring you. If you don't stop, I'm gonna lightning you.
Loved it!
Heh. That was a fun part to write.
NYCitygurl
I love that Palpy says OMG
He's really immersing himself in net-speak.
And that he uses stba for Anakin
He'd be a good texter now.
I can't even feel sorry for Anakin and Padme The last part was amazing, though - he looks 60 before the Sith-look.
(That's the age he tells everyone... but I don't think it's true... Don't tell him I told you...)
KELIA
Shut up. I'm really 42. Seriously. Stop laughing
Only if you're skipping every other year, Palpy
Heh. What, you don't believe him?
Loved how quickly the coffee buzz wore off.
Hehe. Me too.
Great update
Thanks!
Alkibiades
Yay! New reader. 
Very funny, Jaya_Solo. You do humor well (Wes/Jaina comes to mind)
Thanks! You've read that one too? you must be crazy.
Could you PM me when you update, please?
If I must. 
Oh, and I wonder what his comment on Outbound Flight would've been... Thrawn's supposed to be around soon, isn't he? Picked up by Voss, etc.?
Um... haven't delved into the between period yet. Will soon. Glad you like it.
AngelQueen
Yay! New reader!
Shut up. I'm really 42. Seriously. Stop laughing. I can still see you laughing. I'm ignoring you. If you don't stop, I'm gonna lightning you.
Don't worry, your Emperor-ness, we totally believe you.How's that anti-aging cream working out for you btw?
It's magical cream. It actually erases age years at a time. Making the 100 year old look 60. Yep.
Crud. Hm. Now what do I do?
Hmm, good question. What does a Sith Lord do when he finally has the apprentice he's wanted for thirteen years, when the pesky girl is dead, when the Jedi are dead (execpt possibly for the pesky troll), and when he's Emperor and Supreme Awesomeness to the entire Empire?
Oh, I know! You complain about how you can't get good help and send the new apprentice out to deal with them. Complain about when your underlings get ideas of grandeur and think they can order Sith Lords around and destroy planets without asking permission. Complain about ungrateful beings who started a rebellion against you. Complain about brash young people who blow up your new toy.
I like the cranky idea. He can totally complain about those young whipper-snapper red-headed not-quite-Jedi that do his bidding or how this new young senator seems to have a familiar brashness to herself that he's seen somewhere before...
See? Lots to do!
Very true.
Jaya Solo, this is absolutely hilarious! I love it and would love to get PMs for future updates. This is amazing!
Thanks!
Darth_Leia_6669
Just what I needed after my crummy day at work!
Hehe.
Palpy being this excited has me worried, but what's he going to do now? Oh, and he's only 42?!?! I don't care if he thinks he's going to lightening me or not! some more!
Why does no one believe him about his age? 
JediNat
She's dead she's dead she's dead she's dead.
Wait.
My life's work is complete?
But I'm only 42.
Shut up. I'm really 42. Seriously. Stop laughing. I can still see you laughing. I'm ignoring you. If you don't stop, I'm gonna lightning you.
Crud. Hm. Now what do I do?
-Emperor She'sTotallyDead
I thought he was older(like 100 years older)
Shhh... don't tell him I told you... but he's not really 42... :: chokes ::
I... was... just... kidding... :: gasps for air :: Of... course... you're... fourty... two...
:: gulps air ::
LilyHobbitJedi
Seriously. If you're ever trying to take over the galaxy, which I don't recommend because I'll totally kill you, don't pick politics to do it. Seriously. BOR-ING.
I'm sure it is. Hilarious update as always!
Thanks!
Force_Chick
Welcome! I'm glad you like the story.
I'm new to the boards and just discovered this fanfic section. I have to say that this is the best piece of fan fic that I've come across. I laughed so hard I thought my husband was going to have me committed.
Yes... I thought I put a warning about not reading this while eating or drinking. I might also put something about pillows around the chair and making sure your bladder is empty before reading. I'd hate to cause an accident.
Please add me to the PM list for further updates.
Oh, fine.
Thanks!
Tatooine_Ghost
loved it.
Thanks!
Handmaiden_Azul
Don't know if I'm still on the PM list but I would still like to be.
Yep. You're still on it.
PM List
KELIA
NYCitygurl
RavenNolan
General_Kenobi_66
LilyHobbitJedi
Handmaiden_Azul
VaderLVR64
Tatooine_Ghost
EGKenobi
Darth_Drachonus
Idrelle_Miocovani
Irish_Jedi_Jade
Dartha_Leia_6669
The Musical Jedi
geno
JediNat
Alkibiades
AngelQueen
Force_Chick
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Jaya Solo
Registered:
Jul '99
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Date Posted:
7/12 8:51pm
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 7/12
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Just kidding
Mood: Still happy!
Okay, so that last post... I was totally kidding. Of course my life's work is not done now that the annoying-former-queen-turned-senator (seriously, why didn't I abbreviate before now?) is now dead. I've got plenty of things to do left.
I've still got a new appy... wait... I converted him... not much of his training left to do....
(Well, there is the minor detail that in the process of becoming my new appy he lost all of his arms and legs and most of his skin... Ick. Yep, even grossed me out. Do you know how hard it was to get the smell of rotting flesh out of my skin? Those clothes I was wearing were sooo ruined too! Now I have to go find another evil suit. :: sigh :: )
I've got to take over the galaxy... wait... check... been there, done that...
Um...
The Jedi are all dead...
Huh. I guess I have done just about everything I set out to do. I guess I have the easy task of keeping all of my power harnessed, training the new appy, and converting the rest of the galaxy to my way of life.
Oh yea! I've still got a new toy to build. That'll be fun to use one day.
See, I've got plenty of things left to do. Yep. I won't be bored or anything.
Who am I kidding. Anyone know where I can get a girlfriend?
-Emperor Palpatine
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Ewwwww
Mood: Disgusted 
Okay, have you ever had a really bad sunburn? The one that's so bad that you peel afterwards? Remember how gross that is?
Yeah...
Okay, now imagine several layers of skin burned. And it's black.
Now imagine it flaking off.
Ewwwwwww!
So know what I did?
Give him a fancy bath in something that would heal him?
Nope. If I did that, he'd continue to molt the nasty black stuff.
I encased him in black armor! Yep! Locked away the flaky appy in black stuff so I won't see him and his grossness.
Solved that gross problem. Now to find a good taylor.
-Darth I'm-Totally-Going-To-Be-Sick
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Uh... my bad?
Mood: Shocked 
Gossip Girl here... er... wait... Okay, I need to stop watching so much holo-dramas!
Okay, so I went to the funeral of the afqts today. I had to. It's not like I wanted to. She was the former queen and senator of my world. Sheesh. Don't you know anything about kissing butt and making appearances?
So I went. Blah blah blah. People are sad. Wah wah.
I found out something interesting while I was there.
She was pregnant. Yep. Totally pregnant when she died.
I SO did now know that.
I might not have pushed the appy over the edge and had him kill her if I had known. Seriously, baby future appies are great. You just corrupt them from birth.
Wow.
I kinda feel sorry for her now. And her family.
Woah. Better snap out of this.
:: whacking sound ::
Okay, I think I knocked it out of me.
Well... more later I guess.
-Darth Horribly-Evil-Man
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VaderLVR64
Title: Fan Fic Manager Digging out from Fay
Registered:
Feb '04
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Date Posted:
7/13 5:48am
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 7/12
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I've got to take over the galaxy... wait... check... been there, done that...
Um...
The Jedi are all dead...
Huh. I guess I have done just about everything I set out to do. I guess I have the easy task of keeping all of my power harnessed, training the new appy, and converting the rest of the galaxy to my way of life.
Oh yea! I've still got a new toy to build. That'll be fun to use one day.
You've GOT to have a purpose in life!
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If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories.
They call me NANA Vader.
At least she doesn't lack confidence...
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The Musical Jedi
Registered:
Dec '99
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Date Posted:
7/13 6:52am
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 7/12
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 Loved the part about the baby appies... Poor Palpatine - a little bit of planning and information would go a long way!
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Real heroes were like the characters in that man Tolkien's story, who did what they had to even if they hated it, even if it took their own lives away from them.
-- Otherland: Mountain of Black Glass, Tad Williams
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JediNat
Registered:
Jan '08
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Date Posted:
7/13 7:59am
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 7/12
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Oh yea! I've still got a new toy to build. That'll be fun to use one day.
See, I've got plenty of things left to do. Yep. I won't be bored or anything.
Who am I kidding. Anyone know where I can get a girlfriend?
Good luck with that Palpy.
Great update!
-JediNat-
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May the Force be with you!
I'm a little teapot short and stout here is my handle and here's a note from my shrink he says I'm getting better. Last week I thought I was a toaster oven *crazy laughter* -Dot
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Irish_Jedi_Jade
Registered:
Jul '07
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Date Posted:
7/13 10:24am
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 7/12
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Ahahahhahahahahahhahha! So funny Jaya!!!! As always, I'm stoked for your update....wow!
Huggles!
 Irish
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*sigh* Fall '08, here I come....
................still coming
Let the dancing begin!!!!!!!
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Idrelle_Miocovani
Title: Solar Power loving Scattergories Hostess
Registered:
Feb '05
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Date Posted:
7/13 11:57am
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 7/12
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Hilarious, Jaya!
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Rosencrantz: Fire!
Guildenstern: Where?!
Rosencrantz: It's all right - I'm demonstrating the misuse of free speech.
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Padawan of DarthIshtar
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geno
Registered:
Jul '07
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Date Posted:
7/13 12:17pm
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 7/12
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Well he may take credit for things he had nothing to do with. Well looks like he is now lost out on a new and even better appy by having his current appy kill his wife and unborn child. I somehow don't think his new toy is going to be useful in the overall picture of things has he thinks
Good update, thanks for the pm and look forward to more
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NYCitygurl
Title: Manager of SFFBC, C&G, and NSWFF
Registered:
Jul '02
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Date Posted:
7/14 7:05am
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 7/12
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That is gross
Poor Palpy. He needs a new hobby
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Master of padawanlost, Ultima_1, Jedimaster_JainaSolo, and Vaders_Angel 
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Darth_Leia_6669
Registered:
Apr '03
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Date Posted:
7/14 12:35pm
Subject:
RE: The Once and Future Sith Lord: Palpatine’s Blog (dark humor) Update: 7/12
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Hmm, don't know where palpy can find a girlfriend, unless they have something like e-harmony in the GFFA. That would be a hilarious ad!
Liked how he was almost sad when he found out Padme was pregnant, yep, better snap out of THAT mood!
And no, it doesn't matter how long it takes to update, keep me on that list!
--later--
6669 
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SOTH: When Worlds Collide http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=28532068&brd=10476 Chapter 11 up 8-18! Master to Lisbev! "And the worms ate into his brain" -Hey You, Pink Floyd Check my profile for more stories and art!
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