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Topic:
Cage of Lies - A/P, 5 years post RotS, major AU - Padme is presumed dead - UPDATED 25.10.07!!!
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CrazyAni
Registered:
Feb '06
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 2:57am
Subject:
Cage of Lies - A/P, 5 years post RotS, major AU - Padme is presumed dead - UPDATED 25.10.07!!!
- Date Edited:
10/25/07 1:20am (17 edits total)
Edited By:
CrazyAni
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Title: Cage of Lies
Author: CrazyAni
Genre: Drama/Angst, some Romance
Characters: Padme, Anakin, Obi-Wan and some others.
Timeframe: five years post RotS
Note: No Darth Vader here - Anakin didn't turn, and he won't turn.
Summary: Five years passed after the rise of the Empire and foundation of the Rebel Alliance. Due to a mysterious set of events that took place five years ago, everyone thinks that Padme had died, but she lives quietly on a small planet in the Outer Rim, too afraid to face the one who she still loves. She thinks that it's too late to turn back, but is it true?
Disclaimer: I do not own the universe of the Star Wars, all the characters belong to Georgie Lucas. No profit is being made, this is story was written for fun and meditating purposes only.
This idea struck me as I struggled to write the next update for one of my other stories. The feelings and images felt so real that I dropped everything and started typing this.
Many thanks to the wonderful Luna_Nightshade for her help with the title and to SuperSaiyaMan12 for patiently answering some of my questions! 
Cage of Lies
Chapter One
Some people say that time heals every wound.
Others say that a broken heart can never be mended, and a life already lived can never be lived again.
Some say that true love prevails every obstacle. But what if some words have been spoken that should never have been said aloud? What if nothing can ever make it right?
In the past five years, I have agonized about these questions. I could never arrive at an answer, because there is none.
Who am I?
Only few years ago, I was a brilliant Senator, a loving wife and a mother.
Who am I now?
I’m an outcast. I’m a traitor. I’m a coward. I hide behind a shell because I’m not strong enough to come out. I wallow in guilt, but there is no one who can make me feel better. Do I want to feel better? Do I deserve it?
Life has never been easy for me. Before I met him, I was like a lost moon, circling around the empty space, continuing to function simply because I had to. Because I had responsibilities. But one assassination attempt at my life did change everything – I met him. I found my personal sun. But even then, life was not perfect. In one way, it had become better. But it had also become worse, because there had been much more to lose.
I had spent countless nights worrying about him, plagued by nightmares of his brilliant eyes staring lifelessly at the dark sky. Each time he returned back to me, I felt at peace as I could see his handsome face again and feel his strong arms around my waist. Every time was a miracle, and I felt alive.
Yet, the day which was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives, was the day our life crumpled around us.
I watch the rain drops fall gracefully from the darkened sky, the tiny drops running down my windowpanes like miniature waterfalls. The storm had been raging the whole day, and the rain had never ceased to fall. The chrono behind my back beepes – a shrill sound in the dismal quietness. It is time to close the store.
My hoverchair buzzes softly as I make my path between the shelves. I smile to the last customers, the act feeling foreign to my facial muscles. I close the door behind them and lean against it, exhaling wearily. Each day is a grey and dull routine, dragging for what seemed eternity. Then night falls down, and the past haunts both my waking and dreaming states. It reminds me of my stupidity, cowardice, and unfaithfulness.
Even though I am exhausted, I linger in the shop, straightening the holopads out and brushing away the dust. The lights of a vehicle flash outside, drawing out the silhouettes of the stormtroopers and the slashes of the splattering rain.
Deralia is a quiet planet in the Outer Rim, untouched by the Clone Wars and not as polluted by the Empire yet. People here haven’t heard the glorious tales of the Hero With No Fear, or about Senator Amidala. They don’t know that five years ago, I turned into one of the most disdained persons in the galaxy from one of the most respected ones. Yes, this planet was a perfect place to start a new life. For the citizens, I am Raaja Kaaleh, a handicapped but cheerful consultant in the holo and datapad store – the mask I force myself to wear every day.
I hover up the stairs into my room – a small space on the first floor. I light a candle, and the dim fire illuminates the room, casting eerie shadows on the walls. There isn’t much – only a narrow bed, small closet and a desk. In my old life, I was always surrounded by luxury and a small army of handmaidens that were always eager to help. My bed was always large, made with soft, silky sheets. My closet was always huge. I had taken none of this into my seclusion here on Deralia.
I zoom towards the fresher. During the five years since the ability to walk had been robbed from me, I have become quite capable of taking care of myself. I am handicapped, but I am not helpless - or, at least not physically. I turn the water on, and, carefully, slide from the hoverchair, lowering myself into the tub. The water splashes merrily onto my skin; my torso prickling from its hot stream. Clouds of steam rise in the moist air, obscuring my useless legs and my plump, aged body. I close my eyes and set my face directly under the stream, letting the water wash away the tears I can not shed anymore. Five years had passed since Palpatine had injured me, but no matter what I try to tell myself, I still have not come to terms with it. I was beautiful and pure once, but now I am ugly and dirty.
When my torso has become almost as numb as my legs, I turn off the water and towel myself dry. My skin is raw and red from rubbing in the vain attempt to scrub away the dirt that wasn’t there or at least not on the outside. I stretch my hand out to wipe the fog off the mirror so I can see my changed reflection.
A mature, aged woman stares back at me. In five years, I seem to have aged ten. My damp hair falls loosely on my plump face. My face still bears traces of its former beauty but is hidden by the creases around my listless eyes and by the bitter edge of my once crimson lips. My ugliness is my disguise and my prison.
It is still raining outside when I return to my room, the winnowing wind pushing the tiny, crystal-like drops to my windows. The night is thick with my misery, and the skies weep with me.
The distinct, ghostly white silhouettes of the storm troopers are a patch of white colour in the glum darkness of the storm. I chuckle to myself as I yank the brush through my hair. They are always watchful, always on guard, always eager to catch the few of the surviving Jedi who had joined the Alliance. Each time I see these unnatural, white figures, a voice tells me that my place is out there, with the Rebels, helping fighting the tyranny. But I am too afraid. Five years ago, I had chosen to stand by, to watch the evil spread its tentacles across the galaxy. There is no coming back now. It is too late.
Five years ago, I was declared dead. No one knows that Padmé Amidala is still alive. Not even he knows. He continues fighting for freedom, trying to avenge my death.
What would he think if he found out that his wife was still alive? Would he smile one of his beautiful smiles, draw me into his arms and tell me that he forgives my wrongdoings? Or would he silently turn around and walk away? Would he linger just to tell me that he despised me now? Would he still want me after five years of lies, as ugly and disabled as I am now? I am no use to him now. I do not want to be a burden for my husband.
I would be frightened to look into his blue eyes and find nothing but contempt there. Anakin is the most caring, the most loyal, and most devoted man I have ever met. Betrayal is the only thing he can never forgive. And it had been I who had betrayed him; twice.
There have been countless times when my resolve has wavered and I have stretched my arm to grab the commlink; determined to contact my Knight just to hear his voice again. I always stopped when images of his disgusted face flitted into my head, the blue orbs no longer warm and filled with love. My hand always jerked away as though surged by electricity.
Some truths are better remaining hidden.
Flying towards the desk, I pull out a small, wooden box – the only tangible evidence that Padmé Amidala had ever existed. Tracing my fingers down the carvings on the wood, I sigh. Is it wise to look at these items every day? Wouldn’t it be wiser just to burn them? But the temptation is too sweet, too strong. A large part of me will not easily part with the person I had once been.
Making up my mind, I draw the lid open, very slowly, as though unwillingly. A braid, a holo cube and a holopad lay inside. Smiling to myself in reminiscence, I take out the braid. After all these years, I am still mesmerised by the gentle symphony of golden shades playing in the dim candle light. For an outsider it is only a lock of hair, but, to me, it is my most valued possession.
Next, I take out the holo-cube and activate it. A flickering image of a smiling Anakin appears before me. Even though by now I know his features better than my own, I observe him, trying to imagine that he is real, not transparent. With trembling, thick fingers of an old woman, I stroke his youthful cheek, but my fingers just touch blue air. His intangibleness is another sore reminder that the old days are gone, wiped away by the wind and washed away by the rain.
Only one item remains – the item that stands for the end of our days together. Slowly, I pick up the holopad and activate it. The blue image of Anakin and I kissing passionately screams at my eyes. This picture had been taken on the day when the Clone Wars had officially ended, the day my husband had returned from a five month tour in the Outer Rims. Above the image, there are seven words that pushed the galaxy into the turmoil. Only seven insignificant words, but they had changed everything. “Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala secretly married.”
I feel an all too familiar, salty taste on my lips. I did not realise I am crying. I de-activate the pad and throw it into the box, snapping the lid shut with more force than necessary. Some secrets are indeed hidden forever, and some memories are better left in the past, where they belong.
Carefully, I slide from my hover chair and curl myself on my bed, pulling the blanket over my head. It is cold. The sound of pouring rain is a lullaby to my tired ears as I drift to sleep.
A/N: This chapter is un-betaed because I wasn't sure if anyone would like to see it continued. However, if you'd like to read more of this, I'll try to find a beta and deliever the second chapter as soon as possible.
Thank you so much for reading!
CrazyAni
-----signature-----
Currently chased away from the boards by the Writers' Block Cage of Lies - post RotS A/P - Padme is presumed to be dead http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25632570/p1/ HELP!!!Where is my muse? 
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Luminara_Kenobi
Registered:
Sep '06
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 3:53am
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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 I'm interested and would like to see it continued. What happened to Padme? Why wouldn't Ani want her back? How did she betray him???  
Poor Padme!
-----signature-----
Oafie & Lulu  Long Live the original JA series--  why did it go out of print?! Long Live Freedom of Speech!!! Constantly thinking of new and innovative ways to shave Obi-Wan  I miss you, too.
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DragonLotus
Registered:
Apr '06
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 4:15am
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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Oohh, this looks very promising. What did Palpatine do to cause Padme to be crippled? How did the twins die? And why does she feel that she has betrayed Anakin?
I like this, please continue!
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michaellover
Registered:
May '05
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 4:50am
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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Wait, if Ani didn't betray Padme turning to the dark side, then why did she left him?
Can I be in your Pm list if you have one?
-----signature-----
Vicki: I'm busting your chops for talking about demons and I was out hunting a vampire
Henry: I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Okay?
Vicki: You believe in vampires
Henry: I am a vampire.
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DarthVaderette
Registered:
May '04
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 5:08am
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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I'm most definitely interested in reading more, please continue and PM updates
Thanks
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VaderLVR64
Title: Fan Fic Manager Buried Under Boxes
Registered:
Feb '04
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 5:21am
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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Many questions! Could you put me on your PM list, please? 
Life has never been easy for me. Before I met him, I was like a lost moon, circling around the empty space, continuing to function simply because I had to. Because I had responsibilities to do. But one assassination attempt at my life had changed everything – I met him. I’d found my personal sun. But even then life was not perfect. In one way, it had become better. But it had also become worse, because there had been much more to lose. I had spent countless nights worrying about him, plagued by nightmares of his brilliant eyes staring lifelessly at the dark sky. Each time he would come back to me and I could see his handsome face again, feel his strong arms around my waist, was a dream beyond imagination, and I had felt at peace.
Beautiful.
-----signature-----
If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories.
They call me NANA Vader.
At least she doesn't lack confidence...
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Kelli_LB
Registered:
Jun '06
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 5:42am
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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Oh yes, please continue this. I wonder what happened to make Padmé think she betrayed him. This is a very interesting AU, very different than any I've seen before. Could you please add me to your PM list?
-----signature-----
Winner of the 2007 Saga Fanfic Awards for Best Villain. The Legacy: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/248894 "I'm babbling on about galactic prostitution...and that's not why you're here! You're here for battle." --The Knudson Menace
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Star_Angel
Registered:
Jan '06
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 6:02am
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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Wow, my friend, this was so powerful and amazing. I loved this start and please add me to the pm list because I can’t wait until I get to read more. And I’m also very curies about what Padmé did to feel this way. And what about Anakin?
-----signature-----
“It’s not our abilities that shows us what we truly are, it is our choices”
– Albus Dumbledor (CoS)
<- fanfics/fanart + a funny video in bio
SWEDEN HOCKEY forever
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Erised_Star
Registered:
Apr '06
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 6:08am
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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wow, yes I have many questions now. Poor Padmé, what a life she seems to have 
Can I be on the pm list please?
-----signature-----
All that was good within him came from her. Moments like this reminded him that her joy, and not the Chosen One's destiny, was his life's work. All else was an illusion. - Anakin thinking about Padmé (Shawn30)  Anakin & Padme 4ever
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ehopepower
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 9:59am
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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A great start! I would definitely continue this. IT may be your best story yet! Won't go on any PM list since I already have an alert on this on a unnamed site.
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Proud Aunt to Josiah Thomas Power and Clive Scott Power. Born September 17, 2002 and October 17th 2005! My own Fic http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/23809767/p1/?0
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KELIA
Title: Host: 20 Ques
Bet Your Knowledge
PT Rewrite
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 11:06am
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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My goodness, what in the world did Palpatine do to Padme?
It's sad she thinks Anakin wouldn't want her because of her disability and changed looks.
this was beautifully written and if you continue, please add me to your PM list? 
Looking forward to more
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EquestrianJedi07
Registered:
Mar '06
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 11:30am
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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I really really like this. This is, well, like Leia described her mother: "Beautiful, but sad" 
Please continue! I'm looking forward to seeing where this is going
-----signature-----
"All who gain power are afraid to lose it." ~ROTS Star Wars, Harry Potter, and horses for life! "That was like 'Empire Strikes Back' cool!" ~Alias e-sis to Crystal, Maddie, and Dee ~Member of Vader's Mousedroid Society~
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G__Anakin
Registered:
Apr '06
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 1:21pm
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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Great Beggining
Do you mind giving me PMs for this!
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randomangel22
Registered:
Feb '06
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 1:47pm
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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WHOA where did this come from  ??
It seems like you're churning out stories like there's no tomorrow but I love this!!
This is an interesting little story you've started here CrazyAni and you better continue because I wanna know what happened to Padme to make her this way !!
-----signature-----
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack. --Demetri Martin
Yeah that would suck now wouldn't it?
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Jazz_Skywalker
Registered:
Aug '02
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 7:09pm
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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Ooooh, very compelling beginning...please add me to your PM list! I, too, am very curious as to how Padme ended up in this state of affairs...
jazz
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currently working on NaNo 2007 (won)
11/24: 50,000+!
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HandmaidenVeme
Registered:
Jun '04
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Date Posted:
11/22/06 8:49pm
Subject:
RE: Cage of Lies -- A/P, five years post RotS, major AU -- Padme is presumed dead
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Oh yeas, please do continue!!!! And add me to your PM list while you're at it!!!
-----signature-----
Angel #1 the "Mischievous" one
"Anakin's Angels" *cue theme music*
"Anakin Skywalker's Towel Girl"
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