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Author	Topic: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. More author's thanks
joanne_jinn Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 12/13/06 12:59pm Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama.
	Do you have any idea how relieved I was to see "to be continued" at the end of this? I'd've cried if this had been a oneshot. Wonderful opening chapter. Really gripping. Could I be added to the PM list at all?
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Cael-Fenton Registered: Jun '06	Date Posted: 12/13/06 8:48pm Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama.
	Valairy_Scot posted: It’s a long fall and I do not kid when I say he does fall Oh no! Obi-Wan can't die! -----signature----- Let us remember our Burmese dead.
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Luminara_Kenobi Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 12/14/06 12:26am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama.
	He falls…and falls…and falls some more until he goes splat. Or impaled. Dead is dead, right, (author waves hand). ...Wh-wha..? No...no, no it's not, right? I mean...Obi...sigh. Please update soon! -----signature----- Oafie & Lulu Long Live the original JA series-- why did it go out of print?! Long Live Freedom of Speech!!! Constantly thinking of new and innovative ways to shave Obi-Wan I miss you, too.
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Valairy_Scot Title: PT Rewrite Winner Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 12/18/06 10:24am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama.
	Note to readers: the powerful windstorm that hit the Pacific NW has left me - still, here on Monday, without power since Thursday night (and nighttime temperatures below freezing). I have no internet access, and I'm sorry - no PMs will go out. There was no power at work Friday, either, and I work in an insurance agency - we are getting hammered with claims and I barely have time to take a break and post this update. I am safe and warm, but missing the internet. Chapter 2. In the Silences, We Hear Our Hearts Fingers scrabbled for the edge; fingers clawed and pressed deep as boots kicked for purchase. Shards of snow and ice cascaded down; a fingernail broke under pressure. Up, he had to get up and over. Up and over, he would be safe. Up and over, he could assure that his master was safe. Anakin swallowed hard and slithered over the edge, kicking and squirming though the snow and ice, to collapse on his stomach and do his best not to throw up. Hurry! The Force screamed through him. The anchor was pulling free and Anakin fought back his panic. He couldn’t lose his master, not now, not ever. He had lost his mother to his new life, he had lost the man who had taken him away from his old life to death – and he would not lose Obi-Wan, who guided him in this new life. He and Obi-Wan had gotten stuck with each other to neither one’s joy or satisfaction, or so he had thought; he had quickly come to learn the truth was entirely different. The two of them might not have chosen each other but they chose to make it work. Obi-Wan opened his heart to him with one look, and he with a hug. He would not lose Obi-Wan. He needed his master …. He turned to look over his shoulder, but the Force slammed through him demanding he turn his attention away from the edge and forward to the anchor. Slipping – the anchor was slipping – Force, it was slipping! Anakin launched himself in a full body dive, threw himself across the anchor and jammed it into the snow with all the weight of his body upon it; he spat out a mouthful of snow. He was in time. He panted, a wide grin plastered in white spread across his face. In just a moment Obi-Wan would be beside him, rubbing his padawan’s bruised stomach, an apologetic grin on his youthful face for the pain incurred on his behalf. “C’mon, Master – I hurt myself for you!” he shouted as he twisted around and looked for Obi-Wan’s bright eyes and red cheeks. “Master – please, you – you’re coming, aren’t you?” Only the sigh of the wind flapping his cloak could be heard. “M…master?” Anakin cried, but only the echo of his cry returned. Obi-Wan was saving his breath as he saved himself, Anakin reasoned, desperate to hold onto hope. Obi-Wan was coming – had to be coming, any second now – first a hand, then the second, and then his master would be heaving himself over the edge and flopping onto his stomach. He would pant heavily, grin at Anakin, and clasp his arm as his eyes twinkled and he would make some ridiculous joke that was totally stupid and they would both laugh themselves silly from pure relief and he would throw snow in his master’s face and Obi-Wan would frown at him and tell him they needed to get a move on and would offer him a hand up and then dump him in the snow and they’d have a snowball fight before moving on…. He wanted to laugh with Obi-Wan at his side, in wet and cold clothes, happy inside even if miserable outside. Where was Obi-Wan? He frowned. He needed Obi-Wan. Urgent need made him grasp onto the rope – and flinch, for the rope was slack and weightless… he opened his mouth to scream, “Obi-Wan!” before his mind turned the “O” into “Of course!” A slack line meant that his master was even now coming over the edge. Anakin slithered forward to fall into his arms – peered over the edge – and screamed. Obi-Wan was gone – out of sight. Disappeared without a sound, died without a scream. “Master!” he screamed into the depths – but there was no reply. Just silence. Obi-Wan was gone. Anakin stared down into the crevasse with tears frozen on his cheeks and his master’s last words like a warm hand on his cheek. “Keep going, Padawan and don’t look back – keep going.” He huddled in a ball and cried, until there were no more tears left inside. He cried for his master and he cried for himself, alone once more. ** Master will want me to wait for him. He doesn’t like it when I go off without a word. Master is coming; Master always comes. No matter who leaves me, Master comes. In all the chaos since Jedi first arrived in his life, Obi-Wan was the one constant that Anakin could count on. From family to strangers, from old routine to new, from old life with nothing but hope to a new life with plenty of hope, Obi-Wan Kenobi had been beside him. Master would be disappointed when he climbed over the edge and Anakin was not there, and he didn’t want to disappoint his master. He would wait. Anakin waited, and waited some more, for his master to show up. Obi-Wan would not leave him and he wouldn’t leave his master. He would wait; however long it took. Jedi don’t die. Unbidden, tears came to his eyes – Qui-Gon Jinn had died. Jedi did die. Obi-Wan doesn’t die! He scrubbed the tears away. Jedi went to the Force on a pillar of fire, not entombed in ice. That meant his master was alive – had to be alive – and if he waited long enough, Obi-Wan would show up. Obi-Wan would not abandon him. He would not abandon his master. And so he sat, and so he waited, arms tucked within his sleeves and his eyes searching – always searching, and his heart listening – always listening. He shivered, and grew suddenly aware of the lateness of the hour. The lowering sun slanted across the snow in long fingers of gold, each ice crystal a diamond scattered in abandon. Free for the taking, a wonderful sight: fistfuls of gold and precious jewels of ice. Treasure beyond compare; a treasure bought too dear, for its greatest treasure was missing, stolen in ice and soon to be hidden by night. Anakin would trade it all for his master – his soft laugh arriving with the wind, his mirth-filled eyes in the stars already twinkling faintly above. Give me back my master! His shout went unheard and unanswered, and he shivered again, and realized he had to move, to do something besides sit. The temperature was dropping fast and night was vanquishing day. Below him, the forest already lay under night’s shroud while above him peaks still blazed under the sun, fingers of light piercing the sky as if defying night’s arrival. “I’m not going far!” the padawan shouted to his master. He could not sit there and freeze, not with Obi-Wan coming for him – his master should not have to fight death and win only to find his padawan dead without a fight. He had to trudge a ways to find the right snow drift – not too far, in case Obi-Wan showed up soon. He didn’t want Obi-Wan to think he had left him, should he arrive and not find his padawan and think Anakin had deserted him. He dug into the drift as he had been taught – a sloping tunnel down to a pit and a raised platform within. The pit would catch the cold air; the shelter would keep the temperature near freezing. Anakin labored without joy for he labored with memories of working side by side at his master’s side when Obi-Wan had first taught him the joy of camping in snow. That had been fun, that time, scraping and digging in unison, Obi-Wan’s unexpected fistful of snow down his neck and the snowball fight that ensued. That trip, that time, had shown him someone he hadn’t known existed within the solemn young man. Naboo had been too recent, too raw, for them both. Time healed all wounds, but little time had then passed. Smiles had more than touched Obi-Wan’s lips; they had touched his eyes, that time. Eyes shone with delight, not just natural luminescence and the restrained chuckles turned to pure laughter. Wary acceptance of an unwanted master turned, that trip, into full acceptance. Anakin kneeled, feeling the cold seep into his knees and dampness soak his pant legs as he worked. It had been wise of his master to insist on bringing some metal pieces from the ship with them. “We might have need of them; we can signal with them or dig with them. They’re light enough, just be wary of the sharp edges,” Obi-Wan had said, handing one to Anakin and keeping one for himself. Obi-Wan was right; he was learning that Obi-Wan was usually right. The metal made cutting into the snow much easier than using just his fingers, though even with the assistance, his knuckles were soon tender and bleeding, scraped raw by the cold and ice crystals. He finished his shelter just before the dark could swallow him, but it chained him within his shelter on this moonless night. It was never so dark on Coruscant; it brought back memories of sleepless nights on Tatooine where only the stars lighted the night – like here, out in the reaches of the galaxy - their light was faint and cold. Darkness lay over him like a smothering blanket, but a blanket that could not be thrown off. He didn’t remember it being so dark their night on Hoth, where Obi-Wan had taught him to walk in snow – up, kick in your toes; down, kick in your heels – demonstrating patiently, only to suddenly dance down the snow with wild abandon and a big shout of delight – “Come on, Padawan, it’s easier to jam your heels in when you race down the slope.” He had hesitated – what if he landed face first – but when Obi-Wan stood below with his hands on his hips and a shake of his head, the challenge was met. Anakin ran down the mountain and plowed into his master, sending them both tumbling head over heels as Obi-Wan showed him how to self-arrest with elbows, fingers and feet. Dripping wet and now cold, they warmed up by digging their snow cave, throwing their bags on the platform and changing into dry clothing before heating dinner. They sat where they could look outside, at the stars, as they ate, and Anakin sneaked a peak at his new master and saw such a look of contentment as he had never before seen. “You’re happy, Master,” he stated, leaning against the young man’s side as Obi-Wan brought the cloak around them both and wrapped an arm around him. “For the first time since – then, yes, I think I am,” he admitted. “Somehow, out here, I feel that Qui-Gon is here with us, in the Force. As much as I miss him,” he blinked and Anakin knew he hid a tear, “yes, we go forward, you and I – all the rest is behind us. We might not have chosen each other, but Anakin - know you are truly my padawan.” The ever changeable eyes gazing at him were not the gray of remembered sorrow that had been so common in the last few weeks – but were blue, steady and clear. This chance to introduce his padawan to snow, to get away alone to cement bonds still forming, to connect back to life ever-continuing had done Obi-Wan good. It released most of the remaining grief that had been there between them, if Anakin reciprocated. “As you are my master,” he had whispered back, letting go of lingering resentment and unrealized dreams. This was his life now; this man his master, and it would be good, this life. A month or so of sorrow lay behind them, many years stretched ahead. They had sat shoulder to shoulder in comfortable silence until Anakin’s yawns had broken the night’s peace and they had crawled into their bags and slept. He barely registered Obi-Wan getting up before sunrise, and laughed to himself for drinking much less or having more control so he didn’t have to crawl out of bed. He stayed snuggled within warmth as he heard Obi-Wan beat his hands together for warmth until his master pulled him from his warm wrap with a cold hand on his face, to witness the birth of the new day. The sky: a palette painted in gold, red and pink and the snow at their feet the same. The boy from the desert had then realized that snow could be magic, if one treated it with respect, though it could easily bite the unwary or unlucky. Chasms, whether of poisonous fangs or dangerous depths; jaws with teeth of ivory or caverns of stalactites and stalagmites: everywhere treachery abounded alongside beauty. Treat it all with respect and watch for the bite. Obi-Wan’s words: he remembered them well. Shaking off the unpleasant thought – no, Obi-Wan was not bitten by a draigon of ice – Anakin turned his thoughts away from that time to this time, to focus as Obi-Wan would want. Huddled in wet clothes, Anakin brought his numb hands awkwardly to his armpits to warm them. Cold, he was ever so cold and his teeth chattered. That first time that had happened, it had startled him, a desert dweller unused to such cold. Obi-Wan had teased him of being a musical prodigy, of prodigious skill with castanets and percussion. Music to guide his master to him, he could hope. When you can’t handle it alone, remember you are not alone, you have the Force. Call on it – it will help you. Yes, Master, Anakin sniffled, hearing Obi-Wan’s words echo through his mind. He would show his master that he truly listened to his lectures, or at least this one, so he would focus and call on the Force to warm him – and ask its help to warm Obi-Wan, too, out there alone and unsheltered. “I’m waiting, Master – and Master Qui-Gon, if you are truly out there, find my master and send him back to me,” he whispered just before he fell asleep, that night and the next. -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p3/?52 Prolific Author thread: list & links there. Muse fueled by coffee. Often AWOL despite frequent sipping. Writes on inspiration, not a schedule. Proud master of several padawans
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VA_Parky Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 12/18/06 10:37am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama.
	Valairy! I'm so glad you are okay. I didn't realize you were in the middle of that mess. How awful! I can't believe you still managed to wander in here and post an update for us - and what an update it was! Anakin is absolutely ripping my heart to shreds. His loyalty is unsurpassed - and you have done a fantastic job of bringing that to the forefront. You always do have a way of capturing the Ani / Obi relationship. I have totally fallen in love with the way you write them. Best wishes to you and your family for a joyous holiday season. At this point, the best gift for you would probably be electricity, huh? Aww, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, hon! -----signature----- Currently on hiatus Awash in Broken Promises (RotS AU): http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/23913704/p1/ Our 1st - Matthew - arrived 1/1/08
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joanne_jinn Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 12/18/06 10:56am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama.
	Chasms, whether of poisonous fangs or dangerous depths; jaws with teeth of ivory or caverns of stalactites and stalagmites: everywhere treachery abounded alongside beauty. Treat it all with respect and watch for the bite. Obi-Wan’s words: he remembered them well. I loved your description here, very eloquent. Sorry that you've been left with no power. Hope everything's sorted out for you soon.
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LuvEwan Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 12/18/06 11:12am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama.
	I hope you get your power back very soon, Valairy. It sounds just awful. It's amazing that you posted at all. You've set the scene so vividly, with the cold and fear and isolation. I love how Anakin is characterized. Not too child-like, but not grown up, either. The way you've presented Anakin and Obi-Wan's fledgling relationship is both beautiful and realistic. In all the chaos since Jedi first arrived in his life, Obi-Wan was the one constant that Anakin could count on. From family to strangers, from old routine to new, from old life with nothing but hope to a new life with plenty of hope, Obi-Wan Kenobi had been beside him. So sweet. Great job, which is not surprising. -----signature----- It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. -barack obama
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slow_dawn Registered: Apr '06	Date Posted: 12/18/06 2:16pm Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. - Date Edited: 12/19/06 9:15am (1 edits total) Edited By: slow_dawn
	Anakin would trade it all for his master – his soft laugh arriving with the wind, his mirth-filled eyes in the stars already twinkling faintly above. Beautiful. There is so much going on in this fic, how can i choose just one thing to quote? Not only the physical danger they are in but also their relationship is portrayed so well. Obi-Wan's last lesson for Anakin was so appropriate. Fantastic work. edit When your power problems clear up and you have a PM list, could you add me? -----signature----- O, Life! That persistent struggle which rises slowly with with the warmth of dawn but fades quickly in the twilight of dusk! The Tragedy of Anakin Skywalker??? The Vig Challenge Board - http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/28176650/p1
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Cael-Fenton Registered: Jun '06	Date Posted: 12/18/06 7:46pm Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 121806 Ch 2 posted. Ani's POV.
	I am sorry to hear about the power outage and the work overload. Thank you for posting despite everything. Excellent use of Anakin's POV here, and you characterised him very well. Not too childish, but in every way recognisable as the blonde [Padme]little boy I knew on Tatooine[/Padme]. I love the little flashbacks; I think they really strengthened the chapter. The way Anakin kept remembering Obi-Wan's lessons echoed how Obi-Wan remembered Qui-Gon's lessons in the earlier chapter. Great update. -----signature----- Let us remember our Burmese dead.
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Luna_Nightshade Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 12/18/06 9:06pm Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 121806 Ch 2 posted. Ani's POV.
	I'm sorry, V_S--I hope you get power back soon. That sounds awful. I hope you are in possession of a lot of fluffy blankets... I will be thinking of you! Anyway. Absolutely beautiful language, VS, and my heart just breaks for Anakin. The beginning really reminded me of that scene in Bambi (bear with me here...) where Bambi's mother is shot and he's looking for her... and look at me, I'm about to cry. I can't watch that part of the movie (haven't been able to since I was very little), and this had the same effect on me. Soooo painful. He is so fragile now, and the way he keeps remembering Obi-Wan and his comments about the Force are very powerful--especially the last one he uses to call on Qui-Gon. I just want to hug the poor kid... Bring Obi-Wan back! sniff I'm still waiting for Bambi's mommy to come back, and... sniff Beautiful work, VS. Incredible descriptions and heartbreaking honesty. I can't wait for more! -----signature----- You can learn a lot about things if you just step back and look. Catching up. Please be patient.
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earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 12/19/06 10:14am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 121806 Ch 2 posted. Ani's POV.
	Can you bring Obi back ASAP, of course when the power is fixed. Will you review my stories on te saga board? -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 12/19/06 10:21am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 121806 Ch 2 posted. Ani's POV.
	OH, you are killing me here. Anakin was so wonderfully written, with his hopes and memories and the underlying fear that Obi-Wan is not coming back. I loved when he looked over the edge and realized that Obi-Wan wasn't there any more. This is terrible- this is wonderful. Great job. I'm waiting impatiently for the next post. Hope everything is better with you now and you have power again! -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 11/20/08 jedidas3's Master At last - Hope for our country
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Fifilla Registered: Mar '06	Date Posted: 12/20/06 12:30am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 121806 Ch 2 posted. Ani's POV.
	Poor Ani! I hope Obi-Wan will be alright - he needs to come back to his Padawan! -----signature----- "There's always a bigger fish." Fear Of Failure - young Qui-Gon (WIP) > http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27642896 Padawan to Valairy_Scot
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Valairy_Scot Title: PT Rewrite Winner Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 12/23/06 10:34am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 121806 Ch 2 posted. Ani's POV.
	VA_Parky: Mess is right – I personally got power back Wed night, others are still out. Anakin is absolutely ripping my heart to shreds. His loyalty is unsurpassed - and you have done a fantastic job of bringing that to the forefront. You always do have a way of capturing the Ani / Obi relationship. I have totally fallen in love with the way you write them. Thanks, his loyalty is not in doubt, but some of his choices are as we will see. joanne_jinn: Thanks, I did like that simile myself. LuvEwan: You've set the scene so vividly, with the cold and fear and isolation. I’m not a climber (no ropes for me!) but I tried a winter scramble up Mt. St. Helens twice (thwarted by weather, and er, incomplete conditioning), so I have snow camped, know how to use an ice axe and handle snow, etc. As for: I love how Anakin is characterized. Not too child-like, but not grown up, either. The way you've presented Anakin and Obi-Wan's fledgling relationship is both beautiful and realistic. Not being familiar with kids, I always hope my young characters seem appropriate for their ages and situations. slow_dawn: Obi-Wan's last lesson for Anakin was so appropriate. Fantastic work. Thanks – but will Anakin take this last lesson to heart or not? Is it the last lesson, or not? Cael-Fenton: I love the little flashbacks; I think they really strengthened the chapter. Thanks, I think filling in some backstory as you go helps understand the characters at that time. Luna: I haven’t seen Bambi in maybe 40 years (ahem) so I suppose…I’ve forgotten the details, just how sad that was when you’re young. Heck, when you’re old, too. I had candles and flashlights, a backpacking stove to cook soup and heat water on and a warm fluffy cat to augment the down comforter, so I was fine. Just unable to do much except listen to the battery powered radio at night and play on the laptop for an hour or so until the battery went (recharged it at work each day). Earlybird-obi-wan: You just have to wait and see if Obi-Wan shows up, and if he does, as a blue ghostie or not. dianethx: This is terrible- this is wonderful. Great job. I'm waiting impatiently for the next post. I’ll probably post it after the holiday. I'm glad you are enjoying it. Fifilla: Poor Ani and poor Obi-Wan. Will they be reunited? Or not? So, everyone who wants will be on the PM list when the next chapter is posted. I hope everyone who celebrates whatever holiday has a great celebration. Seasons greetings to all, and may you spend it with friends and family. -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p3/?52 Prolific Author thread: list & links there. Muse fueled by coffee. Often AWOL despite frequent sipping. Writes on inspiration, not a schedule. Proud master of several padawans
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Valairy_Scot Title: PT Rewrite Winner Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 12/27/06 12:34am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 121806 Ch 2 posted. Ani's POV.
	Power's back, life is settling down, and I'm ready to post... Current PM list - let me know if you didn't get a PM, want on, or off. VaderLVR64 Luminara_Kenobi Dianethx dralksakrak Healer_Leona Cael-Fenton Kelia mari4212 VA_Parky Laine_Snowtrekker Luna_Nightshade amidalachick joanne_jinn slow_dawn Chapter 3. What is Hope, but the Heart’s Yearning Both mornings Anakin woke with hope in his heart, and two nights he slept with despair, for Obi-Wan could have come, but Obi-Wan had not come. Three days now: it was the third day since crashing, one full day alone with nothing but his thoughts and his hopes and another day stretching before him. Another day with his apology unspoken, and another day without forgiveness. He knew Obi-Wan was coming, so where was he? How long had he to wait? How long until his master was at his side with a tired grin and hand poised to tousle his padawan’s hair? Anakin hated that, but he looked forward to it. It only took one hand, either one, to drop onto his head, so even with one badly injured arm Obi-Wan could still tease his padawan and chuckle at Anakin’s protest. “Please come soon, Master Obi-Wan. I’m lonely, and hungry, and cold, and I need you.” His words were drowned in the silence, swallowed by emptiness, answered by no one. Obi-Wan would not abandon him! Obi-Wan was coming! Why didn’t Obi-Wan answer? “Master!” he screamed, stomping his feet. For the first time, a flicker of fear crawled up his spine, and he angrily pushed it away. Anger was good – anger banished the fear, anger warmed him. Anger gave him strength to face another day, waiting. Anger kept hope alive so he could scream and yell at Obi-Wan for deserting his padawan when his master finally decided to show up, and anger would give him the strength to fly into his master’s arms and sob his fears away. Anger let him feel, when despair threatened to strip all emotion away to leave him far more numb in spirit than the cold did in body. To conserve power, Anakin had turned his comlink to emergency signal only, in the process discovering it had been turned off, and sat with knees drawn up, soaking in the last weak warmth of the sun as it slid towards the horizon, soon to disappear from sight. Clouds were coming in and the wind was picking up, so he retreated inside and curled up, and soon fell asleep. The crunching of boots woke him from troubled sleep late that third day, pulled him from his snow cave even before he was fully awake. Master has come. Wild joy flooded him and he burst forth into the flat light with a wide grin on his face which quickly turned to a frown. The rescue party had made it – and Obi-Wan wasn’t with them. What game was his master playing with him? Trying to teach him patience? Impassivity under stress? Survival on his own? If so, they were lessons he did not wish to learn. The weather had been deteriorating while he slept; at first he did not recognize any of the rescue party. They were Jedi – cloaked, hooded, Anakin could tell that much in the now fading day as a cloud passed overhead. A squall, not a storm, soon to pass; with clouds sliding in and out of valleys and peaks, revealing and concealing in turn. Would the rescue party stop searching once they found him? Anakin knew Obi-Wan was coming, eventually, because he had to come. It was that simple. The rescue party might think differently: the padawan was alone, two nights now. They probably wouldn’t have the same faith in Obi-Wan that Anakin had. It was too late to consider hiding; a finger was pointed in his direction and all three Jedi looked directly at him. He barely knew Master Aneil, and Master Windu always seemed stern and forbidding, but the third Jedi was Garen Muln, one of his master’s best friends. He had liked the young Jedi from their first meeting. Garen had been waiting for them upon their return from Naboo. Though he had been there to offer support and comfort to his grieving friend, he had been kind and accepting to his friend’s new padawan. “Anakin!” Garen shouted happily as he half ran through the snow and dropped to his side, pulling Anakin to him in a quick hug. “Are you hurt? Your master? We’re going to get both of you warm and safe in a moment, okay?” “Pl…please help my master.” Anakin’s teeth were chattering with cold and relief. Garen picked up the shivering boy, patting his back as Anakin threw his arms around the Jedi’s neck. Mace Windu handed Garen blankets from a pack to wrap around him. Garen first had to pry Anakin loose from his neck to securely wrap him before hugging him tight again. He crouched on the snow, holding him in a reassuring grip as he looked around for Obi-Wan. The other two Jedi were checking their comlinks and softly calling the missing Jedi’s name. “Where’s your master? Where’s Obi-Wan?” “I…don’t know,” Anakin whispered, burying his head against Garen’s shoulder. “I waited and waited, but he hasn’t come. Why hasn’t he come, Master Garen? He was just over there.” All three Jedi focused their attention where Anakin indicated, but they could see no sign of Obi-Wan, and they exchanged puzzled glances with each other before Mace spoke. “Where, Anakin?” “Over there,” he nodded, where the anchor still stood before disappearing in a swirl of snow. “I don’t see him – Kenobi?” Mace’s words mingled with those from the other two Jedi, before they paused for an answer. None came; the only sound was a soft hiccup of a choked cry from Anakin, muffled by layers of cloth as he pressed his face into Garen’s shoulder. In the half light of twilight, the two Jedi started to search for his master, calling, “Obi-Wan,” pausing to listen for any response. They hadn’t seen the anchor and cable trailing from it, hidden from sight in the swirling clouds. The Council member frowned, and directed his next words at Anakin. “Is your master hurt, padawan? We can help him, but we need to find him.” “Where’s Obi-Wan, Anakin?” Garen repeated, tilting the boy’s head up to look him in the eyes. “I know you’re cold and hungry, probably scared, but I bet your master is, too, and the sooner you tell us where to find Obi-Wan, the sooner we’ll get both of you back to the ship.” “Master isn’t scared!” Anakin tried to shout, but it came out a weak whisper. “Master’s never scared. He…he’s brave…and he – he - .” Up above the clouds parted suddenly; mountain tips glowed red as the sun flamed its last – and Anakin finally realized that Obi-Wan was dead, carried to the Force by the fire above, not that of flame below. “He’s gone,” he whispered as the harsh truth broke over him. Now that he wasn’t alone, he could admit it. “Gone – gone for help? Damn, in this light I can’t see tracks – “ “He’s gone!” Anakin said again, and something in his voice silenced the Jedi. He turned his head and pointed over there, at the edge of the crevasse, where the anchor was again in sight, as it had not been when the rescuers arrived. “He’s down there. I didn’t see him fall; I didn’t even hear him scream. Before he – hit,” he swallowed, “I felt him in my mind. Saying I needed a lesson in letting go, only he’s the one who let go. I didn’t realize he was – saying goodbye ‘til now.” Only the hiss of slowly indrawn breaths betrayed dawning comprehension in the rescuers. “Why’d he let go? Why did he leave me?” He suddenly started beating at Garen with his fists. “He abandoned me – he left me – I know he was hurt, he was bleeding – how could he leave me –" “He saved you by sacrificing himself,” Mace said, crouching by the anchor and holding up the end of the cable. He looked with compassion at the padawan, clutched tight within Garen’s arms and saw the same look of horror on each Jedi’s face. “He cut the cable.” “He – killed himself? But, but he wouldn’t – he’d never…” Anakin trickled off. Jedi didn’t commit suicide. Never. In the direst of need, perhaps they would passively accept death rather than actively resist it, but to chose to die, deliberately and with full knowledge – “He’d never, Master’s the bestest Jedi ever when it comes to following the rules.” Sapphire eyes, dull with shock, stared at the cable – at the end of hope. Severed, by his own master’s hand. Fallen: Obi-Wan had let himself fall into the jaws of the chasm – willingly - all too ready to leave his padawan behind. “Tell us what happened, Anakin,” Master Aneil urged, squatting before him, eyestalks quivering with the cold. “Can you tell us?” With three Jedi looking at him, Anakin held back his sobs. Reality had set in and he wanted to cry inconsolably, but Jedi didn’t cry. He knew, because Obi-Wan didn’t – he had always held back his tears. Even on Naboo, except a time or two when he had thought he was alone. Jedi didn’t cry, especially in front of other Jedi. In a voice devoid of emotion, he said, “Master was badly hurt when we – we landed. His head was…was bloody and I think his arm really hurt. We…we… and he…he threw his cable and he…stopped but I was falling and he…he grabbed me. The anchor was f…failing, we could feel it each time it slipped. He…he told me to climb above him – if I hadn’t – if I hadn’t obeyed him he’d be alive…I was almost in time, I was, to hold the anchor…but instead of waiting for me…he left me. He c..c..cut… “ “If he hadn’t, perhaps both of you would be dead,” Mace said; his face grim and shuttered. “Your master chose to die alone, rather than take you with him.” “One is rarely granted the chance to choose his own death…” Garen muttered, and to his surprise, felt Anakin nod in agreement. “Master told me that too, once. He chose to leave me, it was his choice, he left me…he left me,” and Anakin broke into sobs in Garen’s arms, unable to hold them back any longer. Holding Anakin tight, the Jedi slowly stood; his face ashen but composed. “No, Anakin. Obi-Wan didn’t leave you. Obi-Wan let his padawan live – he chose life for you, not death for himself.” -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p3/?52 Prolific Author thread: list & links there. Muse fueled by coffee. Often AWOL despite frequent sipping. Writes on inspiration, not a schedule. Proud master of several padawans
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