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Author	Topic: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. More author's thanks
Laine_Snowtrekker Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 1/12/07 11:35am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 010807 Updated What happened to Obi
	Yeah! Obi's alive (at least during that chapter he was!) They'd better find him, or he them. Keep me on that PM list. -----signature----- Stealth and subtlety work well, but for making lasting impressions, a blaster does just fine. -Han Room full of gold and jewels, and Dr. Daniel Jackson finds the one book. -Cam Palso's #1 Fan JO: RS1, Admiral Fanfic link in bio (esp. 08 Diary Challenge)
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Valairy_Scot Title: PT Rewrite Winner Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 1/15/07 1:17am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 010807 Updated What happened to Obi
	Fat_Bird: Dramatic irony, dramatic irony. Got you, didn’t I? I’d never make Obi go “splat.” He’s gotten a lightsaber through him twice that I can remember – once from Maul and once from Qui, but “splat.” No, I’d never do that to Obi. I let him die with dignity (no slipping on a fruit peel – which, by the way, was hilarious, written by VaderLVR64). Healer_Leona: Superb and hearthfelt insight into what Obi-Wan's intentions were. Aw, I got hearts instead of creeping you out. VA_Parky: I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but I am incredibly anxious to find out what happens next. Obi-wan is in rough shape, but he made a promise to Anakin and we all know our Obi keeps his promises. Yes, he does, but he promised to do “his best” to return. Yes, I'm clinging to my hope and no one can stop me! You do that. Earlybird-Obi-Wan: Thanks for the offer, but Bant is already there as a healer and I’m not expecting any fires to put out in the snow. Kelia: Obi-Wan is alive? Yes, very much so. At least for now. JediMasterJessica: Yay Obi's alive! May I please be added to the PM list? Yes, he is, and yes, you may. Joanne_Jinn: Beautiful emotional writing. So glad Obi's still alive. But I can't help thinking what must have been going through his mind when Anakin had his little temper tantrum back there. You will find out, though it kinda takes a back seat to everything else. VaderLVR64: Yes, I know I highlighted the whole first section. But I couldn't help it. It was gorgeous. Moving. Powerful. Everything that great writing should be. Thud! Slow_dawn: I really loved how you portrayed Obi-Wan as he sat on the ledge. His memories were beautifully done. AW, thanks. That sort of came last, and I wondered if I was diverging too much from what STARTED as a fairly tight 3 chapter story. As usual, I go back and add more background detail which entails even more background detail, which derails my nice little story into a more complex story. This “little” story of maybe 23 page (Times New Roman 12pt) is now 53. Dianethx: I find it funny that you liked the paragraph I decided to add in at a late date. It was not in any of the draft versions. I had to read it a couple of times to get the true flavor of it - there was just so much to absorb. I loved the way you showed the death was down and then death was up so much that we are topsy-turvy as to what will happen. That was intentional – turning everything upside down – I guess I’ve doing that to the readers, too – he’s dead – no he’s not – is he a ghost – tell me! I loved the introspection and the way Anakin and Obi-Wan thought about the same events and how their interpretations were part of who they are. That’s how I write the boys, for that to me is the root of their problems – they see the same events so differently – both because of their personalities and how they were raised. Unfortunately, common ground was never found and a large share of the blame goes to Palpy who played on Anakin’s weaknesses. Loved that once Obi-Wan realized that he wasn't going to die that night, that he would start to make sure that he lived as best he could and return to Anakin. That’s our Obi. Even if he hated Ani, he’d try to get back to his padawan. Promises, promises and I thought it was so poignant that each promise was a vow. I’m glad you liked as I wondered if I was diverging too much from the far more simple short story format it started out as. It was to be pretty much action and angst, not so much introspection as did get introduced. BTW – in Resource, I noticed that you and I have a similar way of writing our stories – do you straight plot out or do as I usually do – write: 1 2 4 7 12 3 6 5 8 (as in I go back and write the beginning, or a middle chapter – I can’t do a straight this is chapter 1, then 2, then 3)? Luna: So, you think the secret is out? Really, truly gorgeous, with the promise pattern. I especially liked the "promise not to let go," as it fits so ridiculously well with the situation at hand. What do you think inspired the whole “promise” thing? The promise to not let go was just a phrase in the first chapter, originally. The prose was wonderfully fluid and lovely. You're really outdoing yourself with this, VS. Luminara_Kenobi: I’ve been known to gulp at a thing or two in my life – driving on icy roads, for one (very rare in W Wash), I just move it to a different setting. Dark humor – definitely quirky and dry, but in this case, yeah, I guess dark, too. Speaking as one who responds in somewhat similar fashion (I won’t risk offending anyone by an example, other than to say 18 miles from civilization with no TV, radio, etc. a few years back…in the backcountry of Canada) sometimes it’s easier to hide horror in dark humor. It’s one way of coping with something you don’t really have any other way of coping with. MASH was a good example of this. ...loved the part about fear when looking over the little ledge...I have a thing about heights and ledges (and stairs ) too. That edge thing: one thing I learned in scrambling (non-roped, non-technical stuff that is advanced off-trail hiking): my personal definition of “exposure” is: not much if I fall & the worst that happens is a sprained ankle. If I fall and if I can die – get me the heck out of there. GKilkenny: Thank the force and good writers (aw). Obi-Wan is alive. Now if you can just get Anakin to stop hurting him everything will be all right. Umm…taps fingers. Yeah, I think I’m pretty much through with that in this story. Fifillia: Bant has been part of the rescue team all along – she’s just manned the ship, so to speak. Cael-Fenton: Dang, I was really hoping to see Obi-Wan go splat. yeah, right. Sticks out tongue. Still don't quite understand how Obi-Wan managed to survive – perhaps I am a little slow on the uptake? Maybe I didn’t explain it clearly. Basically, he pushed himself like an acrobat across to the other side of the crevasse by kicking one side to give him momentum to reach the other side (they can be quite wide or quite narrow, so this is the right size for this to work) and grabbed onto a projection. Think hanging in the pit on Naboo with both hands. His feet were only a little ways above a ledge, so he dropped onto the ledge. Now we know what's happened to Obi-Wan, we need to read Anakin's reaction. I thought we’ve already had several chapters of Anakin’s reaction? For, um “fun,” – those of you so twisted as to wish to see Obi go splat, I present this paragraph or two to satisfy your Sithly twisted desire. Egads, I can't believe I wrote this just to satisfy some folks twisted desires …and I will die. As long as there’s life, there’s hope burned in Obi-Wan’s mind as he reached into the Force. It had always guided him to a means of saving himself – guided his actions and showed him a way. With rising fear, he realized the Force was still elusive as the walls of the cavern flashed by in a blur. He wasn’t going to survive. Not this time. There is no death, there is the Force. He grabbed onto the mantra with every ounce of his will, shaping it to him, burning it into his mind and his body so that when the moment came, it would come peaceably. No death…no death and he felt the pain spread through every cell of his body as man and icy floor connected. Even in that split second of dying, his mind reached for a joke, his own epitaph: squashed like a bug on a speeder’s windscreen. For one dizzying, agonizing moment his body screamed its last words as every bone in his body jolted and shattered with the impact. Merciful oblivion took him before the scream could clear his throat, leaving the icy depths to eternal slumber in its peaceful, deadly quiet, the only marker of violent death the stain of red painting the icy canvas with a brush made of spilled blood. The silence of death, eternal and unchanging, tuned to no cycle of life. The once human body lay sprawled limply, broken, its purpose long fled and no longer needed. A body minus its soul was nothing but sinew and matter, once giving form to what had been human and was no longer. Obi-Wan Kenobi no longer inhabited it. Obi-Wan Kenobi had gone home. A light that had once burned brightly in the Force was now joined to the whole. The Force shone more brightly than ever as it welcomed one of its own, and the galaxy dimmed a bit more, as one light went out in the planes of the living. Okay...now on to the real story. Chapter 7 Stubborn Determination Light danced around him, intense blue surrounded him. Obi-Wan blinked his eyes, disoriented. I’m in Qui-Gon’s – no, Anakin’s eyes – and his world slowly came into focus. He half lay and half sat, huddled against an icy wall, on a ledge that sloped downwards. Soft light surrounded him. Illuminated evenly this deep down, with no shadows or bright beams, this place was almost welcoming and surreal in its peacefulness, soothing but for the bone-chilling coolness that penetrated to his innermost being. He could feel the icy tendrils in the pores of his skin and the follicles of his hair, in his bones and in his nerves, indeed, in every cell of his living body as the warmth of the living interfaced with the chill of inevitable death. It was not a place for the living, not for long. It was serene and it was deadly. A beautiful place to be dead in, this tomb that was not, had he not lived. He sat up, too quickly, and the chasm swirled around him. Oh, dizzy, he groaned, leaning his head back and taking several deep, hurting breaths. Should wait…rescue, but the Force danced in front of him, beckoning. Speak, it would not, but gesture it would. Stay, slumber here forever; move forward, life? Was that what went unspoken, or more likely, unheard? Obi-Wan Kenobi would follow the Force, even to his death, should it beckon. Its will was his, after he took care of a few necessities and the first was to try to contact Anakin. Again, his comlink went unanswered. Blasted thing probably wasn’t working, probably jarred when he had slammed into the ice. The shock of hitting solid ice had knocked the breath from him and apparently the comlink had fared no better. He forced himself to eat some rations and emptied another hypo into his arm. All it did was dull the sharp stabs of pain, but anything that minimized the pain allowed him to think more clearly. He had forgotten how much he relied on the Force to get him through life’s aches and pains. He carefully slid a hand inside his tunic and touched the shoulder that had decided to get well acquainted with a ship’s bulkhead, biting his lip to hold back the moan when it came. As expected, the shoulder felt misshapen and swollen to his gentle fingering. He didn’t know if it was broken or bruised, but it didn’t really matter. He worked the hand of that arm inside his tunic as a makeshift sling, hoping to avoid any jostling of that arm. His other arm was in far better shape, a muscle or a tendon pulled, perhaps, something that would heal quickly if rested, capable of use if he just avoided hanging from it. He finished his preparations to move on, to find his way back to his padawan and hopefully, help. Bivy sack – stuff back into belt. Try comlink, again, give up on comlink and stuff it back into belt, too. Pull oneself to one’s feet and prepare to live another day. Ready, he thought at the Force. Lead on. The ledge was slippery; his boots not made to grip ice. Each foot step needed to be precise in its placement, his concentration total. The last thing he needed was to have a foot slip out from under him, sending him tumbling. He stepped carefully, balancing himself with a hand on the wall when he could, focusing on nothing but the step he was making so that it wouldn’t be his last. In some places the ledge was so narrow he had to face inwards, creeping slow inch by slow inch on his toes, face pressed into the ice – a good excuse to close his eyes, for he could see nothing but white anyway – as he focused everything on touch – where his hand was, his toe, until finally he was able to face forward again and take a shaky breath. That was fun, he murmured, just to hear something, anything in this silent place. He slumped against the wall for a brief rest and his thoughts turned again to Anakin. He was safely out of the crevasse, Obi-Wan knew, but was he safe? Had he made it to the tree line and made a shelter? There could be other crevasses that might claim his padawan. He had been sure that the route he had picked out was relatively safe. He was wrong. He had guided his padawan into danger, rather than protecting him. Should he die down here, he knew any other Jedi would do a better job of protecting Anakin. Not one of them could do worse. Some Jedi already had doubts about his abilities or the Council’s decision to knight him, let alone letting such a young and untested knight train one so late to the Order. Their doubts would have been intensified had they known that Qui-Gon had named Anakin as the child of prophecy, the Chosen One, and that he had been given to a new knight’s care. Perhaps they were right. Perhaps he had been over-confident in his abilities. It didn’t really matter though. He was Anakin’s master until and unless the Force chose to bring him home, rather than sending him home. He would never get home if he merely continued to rest, besides he was growing chilled. He needed to keep moving, move until he could move no more. Obi-Wan walked when he could, slid where he needed, tiptoed when necessary, until the ledge led him onto the floor of the crevasse, fissured and rough but solid enough. Falling, as in to his death, was no longer a danger, but falling was a distinct possibility; he was getting dangerously cold and weak and the light was fast failing, as was he. He didn’t know how much more strength he could pull out of himself. He would have to dig deep, find reserves he didn’t know he had. Obi-Wan was wearying out much sooner than he would have thought; the cold as well as his injuries were conspiring against him, but they had a formidable foe – his will. His sheer stubbornness. I promised to hang on, he reminded himself sternly. I have to rest…I can’t continue on until I rest, nor can I continue on in the dark unless the Force is with me to guide me. At least moving had kept him somewhat warm, moving slowly had allowed his clothing to dry on his body. He had been all too aware of the danger of sweating. He would be at least dry, but the cold was intense - a hint of dampness, his exhalations visible – and he had little way of regulating his body temperature. Besides rest, he needed food and water. Food and water were life, so he awkwardly fumbled for his lightsaber and promptly dropped it, his hands too numb to grip it. Thank the Force he hadn’t tried to get to it somewhere where dropping it would have meant losing it. He let it lay on the ice as he fumbled awkwardly to get his hands into his armpits to warm them. Once the stiffness left them, the pin and needle sensation of returning circulation fading as he wiggled his fingers, he pulled one hand out and retrieved his lightsaber. He plunged it, ignited, into a cavern wall. Ice hissed and melted, water ran, steam boiled and he lapped the water up – hot water, warmed by his lightsaber. This lightsaber is your life: he could hear Qui-Gon intoning those words to a careless padawan, and he found the strength to chuckle at the memory. His master had no idea the truth of those words. He could feel the warmth slide through him, his body perking up and his shivers finally abating. He ate some more rations, drank some more hot water, and felt much better. Obi-Wan didn’t know how far he had come, how deep within the glacier he was, nor how much further he had to go, but he been granted another day of life and tomorrow would be another. One tomorrow he would find a way out, and one tomorrow he would find help. Obi-Wan crawled within the thin cover of his bivy and rested, not slept; tossing and turning, and biting back a strangled cry of pain each time a move jarred his arm. He only had a few hypos left; he would save them for the day time when he needed all his focus and attention on his path, not his battered body. He lay shivering and cold, gathering his energy for a last push when weak light allowed. At last, the absolute darkness began to soften into grays. His teeth were badly chattering and shivers were absolutely wracking his body, fighting the screams of protest from his arm for dominion over his weakening body. There was no reason to wait for the shadows to lighten even more; he decided he really needed to move before it was too late. He melted more ice into hot water and choked down some rations before pushing to his feet. It seemed his survival was in his hands alone – his hands and his will. Times like this his stubbornness served him well. He stumbled for hours, sometimes betrayed by his feet and suddenly flat on his face. It would be so much easier to just give up and sleep forever. Obi-Wan didn’t fear death, death was peace. He would not reach for it, for he wanted to reach for life while he could. For himself, and for Anakin, for he didn’t want to leave his padawan to mourn his master of just a few months. He all too well knew the pain of being left behind, and while he could, he would fight with every breath he had left to return to his padawan. He would do it for Qui-Gon, he would do it for Anakin, and he would do it for himself. He would do it for a future full of possibilities. So he kept moving, pushing himself wearily to his feet each time he found himself face down in ice. Moving exhausted him, but moving warmed him. Moving brought him that much closer to Anakin, and salvation. Moving was life, and he thought should he stop, he would never move again. The sun was long out of sight and shadows were again deepening the crevasse when he heard it – a ship. The rescue team had arrived. Obi-Wan stared upwards, hope and exhaustion in his eyes. Be safe, Anakin, let them know where you are. Call them to you! I am…coming. As he lowered his head to move on, he felt suddenly dizzy. His legs didn’t seem to want to hold him up any longer. He wavered, unbalanced and his vision blurred. Oh, not good, he moaned. And he fell. ** With a half-strangled cough, his fingers weakly opening and closing with the spasms, Obi-Wan slid one hand to his throat and tried to massage it as he cleared his aching head, wondering if he had actually passed out. He was lying with his face pressed into snow and ice. His throat was full of snow, melting and numbing his windpipe; he wheezed and swallowed snow when he meant to swallow air. He choked and struggled for breath. He couldn’t die now. Strength of will rather than strength of body brought him to his knees, coughing and choking, until he could bring himself back to his feet. Shakily he brought a hand up to explore his nose and cheekbones. Nothing was broken, only bruised, but his hand came away covered in blood. Jamming the back of his hand against his nose, he wavered in place, getting his balance back. Come, the Force beckoned. I could use you, you know, he half grumbled. It would make surviving much easier than doing all this on my own. With the Force or without, there was only one thing to do, one way to move, and one way to live. Stumble forward, step by step, and so he did – and then he saw it. Sky. The sun, low on the horizon and barely visible though clouds. Faint fingers of warm light stretched to his feet, backlighting thin arches and projections before him, turning the way before him into a path strewn with glittering crystals. They were twinkling and sparkling at him, or was it tears in his eyes, catching the lowering sun? He blinked; was he imagining all this – but no, it was the sun – nearly sunset – before him. It took a moment to sink in, this beautiful reality before him. Before him, not above him. Daylight, at the end of an endless tunnel. Rescue, when he was so close to perishing. Life in front of him, if he could just get to it. Not a mirage, not a vision, but life itself stretched before him, life made visible by light. Light! He had always been a creature of light, and now light would save him. If he could just make it out of this icy slit into the open, before darkness descended. They would surely be searching for him, see him. If he could just get to the light, he would soon be warm and dry, safe, and most likely back with his padawan, to soothe and comfort him after these few days of uncertainty and grief. And he ran…weaving, unsteady, faltering – to the light on his carpet of diamonds and burst into light as it faded into dusk. Above him he caught a glimmer of red as the last of the sinking sun touched the peaks far above before clouds swept in to wipe the color away. Darkness already surrounded him, so far below those jutting heights. He was too late. He fell to his knees and nearly wept. So close. Not close enough. No moon, faint starlight, clouds. He was trapped with no gentle push or tug from the Force to guide him. Which way to go? Forward? Up? Down? Which way was safety? Down was the tree line as well as potential fractures and icefalls to negotiate. Up: he thought the ship may have landed above, but the lowering clouds hid its location. He did not dare move in the dark; his Force senses were still too muted to trust, the terrain too treacherous to traverse without sight, even the rescuers position unknown and unseen. He was stuck in place until the dawn, and so here he would die – because his body had not been able to match his will, to get him into the light in time. He knew he wouldn’t survive another night. “I’m sorry, Anakin,” he whispered as he fell to his knees, before toppling face first to the ground. He had done all that he could, given all that he had; nothing was left. All that he had left was his life, and soon - not even that. -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p3/?52 Prolific Author thread: list & links there. Muse fueled by coffee. Often AWOL despite frequent sipping. Writes on inspiration, not a schedule. Proud master of several padawans
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Gkilkenny Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 1/15/07 1:32am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 011507 Updated Is this the end for Obi?
	…and I will die. As long as there’s life, there’s hope burned in Obi-Wan’s mind as he reached into the Force. It had always guided him to a means of saving himself – guided his actions and showed him a way. With rising fear, he realized the Force was still elusive as the walls of the cavern flashed by in a blur. He wasn’t going to survive. Not this time. Your Evil, you know that don’t you Okay...now on to the real story. Ha Ha very devious Come, the Force beckoned. I could use you, you know, he half grumbled. It would make surviving much easier than doing all this on my own. Still has his sense of humour He knew he wouldn’t survive another night. I love it -----signature----- Padawan to p_stotts Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear. Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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JediMasterJessica Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/15/07 5:12am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 011507 Updated Is this the end for Obi?
	Awwww, So sad. Poor Obi-Wan, he never catches a brake. Loved this chapter! -----signature----- Proud lover of A/P, Siriwan, L/M, & TK/J Yo mamma is so stupid, she thought Jar Jar came with Pickles Pickles
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 1/15/07 5:16am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 011507 Updated Is this the end for Obi?
	Oh, love the way you wove what Anakin had seen with what Obi-Was was seeing in this chapter - the setting sun, the way he thought Obi-Wan had called to him and then with night coming on, his acceptance that Obi was dead - I guess because Obi thought he was going to die. Loved how he kept going, pushing himself beyond what most people would do. His will to survive and return was strong and I could just picture it so very clearly in my head. I was almost shivering in the cold. Loved this part: With the Force or without, there was only one thing to do, one way to move, and one way to live. Stumble forward, step by step, and so he did – and then he saw it. Sky. The sun, low on the horizon and barely visible though clouds. Faint fingers of warm light stretched to his feet, backlighting thin arches and projections before him, turning the way before him into a path strewn with glittering crystals. They were twinkling and sparkling at him, or was it tears in his eyes, catching the lowering sun? Problem is that now he thinks he's going to die. I don't see how you are going to get him out of this but maybe he needs a bit more warmth. Turn on that lightsaber! Great job. As for writing, I'm a very straightforward writer so I think pretty linearly. When I plot something really long, I have a very detailed summary of each chapter plus if dialogue or description pops into my head from other chapters, I put them in the correct summary section until I need it. It's interesting that you hop around a bit - not too much but a bit. I can't do that; I'd get lost and forget something. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 11/20/08 jedidas3's Master At last - Hope for our country
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VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 1/15/07 6:56am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 011507 Updated Is this the end for Obi?
	What I loved best about this chapter is how well you portray Obi-Wan's complete and utter faith in the Force! That is SO Obi-Wan. He believes in the Force and following its will with every fiber of his being. Stay, slumber here forever; move forward, life? Was that what went unspoken, or more likely, unheard? Obi-Wan Kenobi would follow the Force, even to his death, should it beckon. Its will was his, after he took care of a few necessities and the first was to try to contact Anakin. Again, his comlink went unanswered. Blasted thing probably wasn’t working, probably jarred when he had slammed into the ice. The shock of hitting solid ice had knocked the breath from him and apparently the comlink had fared no better. Perfect summary of Obi-Wan's character and faith. -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. Army Mom! HOOAH! Adopt a soldier: http://soldiersangels.org/
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amidalachick Registered: Aug '03	Date Posted: 1/15/07 8:07am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 011507 Updated Is this the end for Obi?
	Obi-Wan's so stubborn! That's good. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for him, though. With the Force or without, there was only one thing to do, one way to move, and one way to live. Stumble forward, step by step, and so he did – and then he saw it. Sky. The sun, low on the horizon and barely visible though clouds. Faint fingers of warm light stretched to his feet, backlighting thin arches and projections before him, turning the way before him into a path strewn with glittering crystals. They were twinkling and sparkling at him, or was it tears in his eyes, catching the lowering sun? He blinked; was he imagining all this – but no, it was the sun – nearly sunset – before him. It took a moment to sink in, this beautiful reality before him. Before him, not above him. Daylight, at the end of an endless tunnel. Rescue, when he was so close to perishing. Life in front of him, if he could just get to it. Not a mirage, not a vision, but life itself stretched before him, life made visible by light. Your writing is so beautifully descriptive, and this passage was especially lovely. I love how he sees the light as saving him. Wonderful job, Valairy! -----signature----- "We figured if it wasn't skimming off the top, tax evasion, or unwed mother death sports, it had to be insurance fraud." "No! It was for someone who needed it!" "You were serious about that?"
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KELIA Title: Fan Fiction Moderator Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/15/07 8:11am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 011507 Updated Is this the end for Obi?
	Now that was just plain evil. I certainly hope help in some form or another comes to Obi after all he's been through. Poor guy can use a break. Lovely update -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 Undue Circumstances: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28530583/p1/?10
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earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 1/15/07 9:23am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 011507 Updated Is this the end for Obi?
	Poor Obi, another night in the ice-cold, "face first to the ground" Luke did that in ESB and survived, so there is hope??? -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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VA_Parky Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 1/15/07 3:25pm Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 011507 Updated Is this the end for Obi?
	Valairy! What are you doing to me? I was feeling all confident after the previous post and now my poor Obi is suffering worse than ever! I just want to give him a hug - oh, and probably about a dozen Advil too. Ouch! Your descriptions of his injuries are so well done, I find my OWN shoulder aching - and you're making me very glad that I'm reading this while huddled under an electric blanket. Beautiful work, as always! -----signature----- Currently on hiatus Awash in Broken Promises (RotS AU): http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/23913704/p1/ Our 1st - Matthew - arrived 1/1/08
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Laine_Snowtrekker Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 1/15/07 3:47pm Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 011507 Updated Is this the end for Obi?
	Awesome, as always! Keep me on your PM list. -----signature----- Stealth and subtlety work well, but for making lasting impressions, a blaster does just fine. -Han Room full of gold and jewels, and Dr. Daniel Jackson finds the one book. -Cam Palso's #1 Fan JO: RS1, Admiral Fanfic link in bio (esp. 08 Diary Challenge)
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Luna_Nightshade Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 1/15/07 6:56pm Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 011507 Updated Is this the end for Obi?
	Wow--that was intense. Obi-Wan is deeply injured, and I really love how you managed to bring out so much of his personality as he fights it. I loved the "not good"--I had a wry grin there for a moment. He's trying so hard to get back to Anakin, and I love how he remembers Anakin and Qui-Gon as he does so. Seeing through Qui-Gon's eyes in the beginning was really a brilliant idea, too. Much , V_S--you write Obi-Wan's pain flawlessly and so intensely. I loved it as always! -----signature----- You can learn a lot about things if you just step back and look. Catching up. Please be patient.
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Fifilla Registered: Mar '06	Date Posted: 1/15/07 11:11pm Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 011507 Updated Is this the end for Obi?
	Great chapter, I could almost feel the cold myself! shivering He didn’t know how much more strength he could pull out of himself. He would have to dig deep, find reserves he didn’t know he had. Obi-Wan was wearying out much sooner than he would have thought; the cold as well as his injuries were conspiring against him, but they had a formidable foe – his will. His sheer stubbornness. Obi-Wan, go on, you will make it! It's the will of the force (I hope!). As he lowered his head to move on, he felt suddenly dizzy. His legs didn’t seem to want to hold him up any longer. He wavered, unbalanced and his vision blurred. Oh, not good, he moaned. And he fell. I always love the "Oh, not good" line! -----signature----- "There's always a bigger fish." Fear Of Failure - young Qui-Gon (WIP) > http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27642896 Padawan to Valairy_Scot
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Healer_Leona Registered: Jul '00	Date Posted: 1/16/07 2:33am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 011507 Updated Is this the end for Obi?
	Even while he felt the inevitable coming, his demise, OBi-Wan had faith and trust in the Force. Very tortuous, but still a beautiful chapter. -----signature----- I'm older now and still running against the wind
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Cael-Fenton Registered: Jun '06	Date Posted: 1/16/07 6:05am Subject: RE: Never Look Back. Obi, young Ani. Drama. 011507 Updated Is this the end for Obi?
	Valairy_Scot posted: For one dizzying, agonizing moment his body screamed its last words as every bone in his body jolted and shattered with the impact Eh, tres cool. I hereby pronounce your splatting of Obi-Wan entirely satisfactory. I’m in Qui-Gon’s – no, Anakin’s eyes Gorgeous imagery there, especially for our Prosaic Jedi. Your writing is so beautiful! Oh, not good Perfectly worked in the quintessential SW line there. Your characterisation of Obi-Wan was well-crafted, and you brilliantly described how Obi-Wan was pushing himself, which makes the close of the chapter all the more heartwrenching. This is where Anakin finds him and then they cuddle up for hot Milo and bedtime stories, right? Right? -----signature----- Let us remember our Burmese dead.
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