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Author	Topic: What the Heart Hides. Obi, Ani, Siri - drama, humor, comfort. Complete as of 090208.
Cael-Fenton Registered: Jun '06	Date Posted: 1/31/07 5:46am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch 2 posted 012907 Jabiim.
	On an entirely different planet, one man’s ordeal had just begun. Oh, goody, do I see Obi-torture 'round the corner? And some gratuitious h/c, eventually? - only after Obi-Wan's been flayed within an inch of his life, of course. Couldn't possibly have it any other way, could we? Your descriptions are wonderful, as ever. Anakin was quite well done, I thought. Could I please have a PM when this is updated? -----signature----- Let us remember our Burmese dead.
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Hananiah Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 1/31/07 10:13am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch 2 posted 012907 Jabiim.
	Yay! a lovely update, the descriptions of the dead were amazing, hardwrenching but I think that is what battle is, you can't overlook that. Great to Anakin grieving for his master great in that he cares, not great that he's grieving...okay I'll hush up now) but is anyone suspicious about Yoda and Mace and their reaction? -----signature----- Buffy:"Laura Ashley is definitely back" Willow: "You think?" Buffy:"She's back and this time it's personal.You see they mated her with the home depo guy and that's how we got Martha Stewart" BTVS unaired pilot
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Luna_Nightshade Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 2/1/07 8:22pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch 2 posted 012907 Jabiim.
	Anakin's grief is palpable in this... you write the team together (and apart) perfectly. Anakin's anger at the Council for their lack of feeling is absolutely perfect... and as always, your way with description leaves me in a happy awe. I don't actually know what happened on Jabiim, but I'm quite convinced that Obi-Wan is alive... and I can't wait to find out what happened to him. Gorgeous, awe-inspiring work as always, VS. Much , and my apologies for taking so long. I'm catching up... slowly but surely! Sometimes I remind myself of Eeyore... -----signature----- It’s dark now and I am very tired. I love you, always. Time is nothing.
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Gkilkenny Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 2/1/07 8:50pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch 2 posted 012907 Jabiim.
	Excellent story. I always hate it when Obi-Wan supposedly dies. Is he! Is he not! Did he ! or did he not. and then a light at the end of the tunnel. Obi-Wan Kenobi would be avenged and his padawan would be the one to administer justice. For the next few weeks and weeks stretching into months, that need was the only thing that drove him on. On an entirely different planet, one man’s ordeal had just begun. Can I be added to your PM list please. I must know what happens. -----signature----- Proud Padawan to p_stotts Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear. Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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JediMasterJessica Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 2/2/07 1:00pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch 2 posted 012907 Jabiim.
	Great Story! You described Anakin's feelings well. May I please be added to the PM list? -----signature----- Proud lover of A/P, Siriwan, L/M, & TK/J Yo mamma is so stupid, she thought Jar Jar came with Pickles Pickles
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Ascal_Elessar Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 2/2/07 1:52pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch 2 posted 012907 Jabiim.
	Loved what I've read so far, can I be on the PM list please. -----signature----- "HELLO THERE!" Member of the Obi-Wan Kenobi Fan Club "He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm and the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever, he burns at the centre of time and he can see the turn of the universe."
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Noelie Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 2/2/07 5:24pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch 2 posted 012907 Jabiim.
	We are all in the same shock that Anakin is, as I read it unable to believe it might be true. May I have a PM when you update? Thanks! -----signature----- The relationship that has been created in this unique universe is so memorable, and so beautiful. It makes the heart ache. As far as I'm concerned, it's canon.~Ratna on the Noelaverse Proud member of the UPR
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Valairy_Scot Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 2/7/07 1:03am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch 2 posted 012907 Jabiim. - Date Edited: 2/7/07 1:15am (1 edits total) Edited By: Valairy_Scot
	Fifilla: So Anakin feels/knows that Obi-Wan isn't dead! – Yes, I’m sticking close to “canon” in such respects. Where I’ve tweaked it is in Siri’s being alive, Obi being on the Council (I don’t think he was in the books at this time), and most importantly, “humanizing” the comic by, I hate to say it, brutalizing it. In the comics Obi is tortured (pretty badly it seems) but he escapes, fights bounty hunters, and has a happy reunion with Anakin with no real repercussions. In “my” version the war isn’t pretty and Obi-Wan’s torture is going to affect him. I think I’m doing a pretty fair job of showing just how brutal without being graphic (coming up later) as the emphasis is on Obi’s feelings and thoughts about his treatment. VaderLVR64: I want to know what's going to happen next! – okay, everyone angsts, Obi gets free, reunion. Shrugs. Earlybird-obi-wan: Comics don’t do a thorough job of showing feelings and they show “cardboard” characters (IMHO). Read the comics for the action; this is for the characterization. Obi-Wan is not going to waltz out of his experiences unaffected, but being a Jedi, he'll come to terms with it pretty quickly. Dianethx: Loved this. You have such a way with words that is really quite stunning - very visual, very emotional. I always feel wrung out when I'm finished with one of your posts - in a good way! – you know what buttons of mine to push. The way Anakin realizes that Obi-Wan is gone, the way he keeps looking for him, even a piece of cloak or a lightsaber, something to tell him that Obi is either alive or dead. So very sad and realistic as well. - That wanting to hang on, for proof, I think is very human. Jaded_Rose: This is wonderful and absolutely heartbreaking. Your prose, especially about war and examinations on Obi-Wan's psyche, is beautifully written. Thanks a lot. obsessedwithSW: He is not dead he is with Asjji right? – right. Sticking close to canon in this respect. Barriss31: do not think he is dead: 1)The bond is not severed just quiet, very quiet 2)On another planet another man's ordeal had just begun. – Obi is alive, never fear. I had no intention of trying to pretend I might break from the comics. This is “my twist” on it with some changes – it was supposed to be a Siriwan, but that aspect has greatly diminished though still is present. But these two are just my humble opinions; my denial of Obi's death is neverending – mine, too. Cael-Fenton: Oh, goody, do I see Obi-torture 'round the corner? And some gratuitious h/c, eventually? - only after Obi-Wan's been flayed within an inch of his life, of course. Couldn't possibly have it any other way, could we? – Yeah, funny thing is I do have a “torture Obi” story that I started on months ago. This is not intended to be a “torture-Obi” story – but since it’s taking place and Obi was being tortured during this arc, well, author’s don’t always know what is going to end up on the page. I repeat, the original emphasis was on “Siriwan.” Hananiah: Yay! a lovely update, the descriptions of the dead were amazing, hardwrenching but I think that is what battle is, you can't overlook that. – That’s the point – battle, torture, all that stuff – IS brutal and I don’t know how you write that unless you get down in the trenches yourself. It’s the old “sanitized” violence vs the brutal, ugly reality (imagine how much worse it is if you’ve actually experienced something like this rather than imagining it in a nice, cozy home). …is anyone suspicious about Yoda and Mace and their reaction? – You surprised me with that comment. Honestly, they’re being the good Jedi who show/contain/release emotion. No hidden meanings meant, though if I went AU they could have plotted to have Obi taken so they could take over Anakin’s training or something – JUST JOKING. Luna: Anakin's grief is palpable in this... you write the team together (and apart) perfectly. Anakin's anger at the Council for their lack of feeling is absolutely perfect... and as always, your way with description leaves me in a happy awe. I don't actually know what happened on Jabiim, but I'm quite convinced that Obi-Wan is alive... and I can't wait to find out what happened to him. - No secret. Asajj spirits Obi-Wan away and tortures him & Alpha, Ani denies Obi’s dead though every one else thinks he has to be for said reasons…and I’m trying to come up with a plausible way that Asajj was both there and able to save/spirit away Obi/Alpha. Gkilkenny: Excellent story. I always hate it when Obi-Wan supposedly dies. Is he! Is he not! Did he ! or did he not. – No secrets really in this one. He lives. JediMasterJessica: Yes, this last chapter was mainly focused on Anakin. This chapter on Siri and Yoda, mainly. Ascal_Elessar: Welcome to the story. Noelie: Anakin will never be persuaded it’s true. He is correct. Note: I don't know my posting schedule on this story yet - depends on several factors. This week I tried to let some of my other stories drift down the boards to give other authors a chance. PM List - right? wrong? VaderLVR64 Dianethx Luna_Nightshade earlybird-obi-wan Jaded_Rose obsessedwithSW Cael-Fenton Gkilkenny JediMasterJessica Ascal_Elessar Noelie Chapter Three. Repercussions and Reactions Shock spread quickly through the Jedi Temple. Master Obi-Wan Kenobi was dead. Barely ascended to the Jedi Council, and now dead. Killed on Jabiim. Blown up in a fiery explosion and not even enough of him left to provide a proper Jedi funeral. His funeral pyre had come while he yet lived: his body shattered and aflame before his spirit had time to flee the crumbling shell. He certainly wasn’t the first Jedi to die in the war. He wouldn’t be the last. But the shock waves of this death had more impact than many of the others. Easily one of the more accessible Jedi – especially of the Council – he was respected for his easy, if quirky humor, his grace, and his disarming manner. A ferocious warrior who preferred to talk his way out of situations, a demanding yet fair taskmaster who demanded no less from himself than from others, he was the master of the Chosen One. One such as he could not fall in battle. One such as he had destiny on his side, and one such as he had the Force protecting him. Yet he had died on Jabiim. If one were not sensitive to the nuances of the Force or could not sense the emotions held within a Jedi’s control, one might not know the sense of impossibility and sorrow that filled the Temple when the report came from Padawan Skywalker and filtered though the ranks. Voices were more hushed in the halls and eyes even more somber. Though the grief was real and the sorrow was for the man, it was also true that Obi-Wan Kenobi’s death brought home the very real possibility of death for any one of them. If Obi-Wan Kenobi could fall, so too could any one of them. No Jedi was immune. The greedy fingers of death could take any one of them and send them into the Force sooner than any of them would hope. As Jedi, they would learn to accept and then to release the sorrow; to be little affected by the loss. It was how Jedi dealt with feelings, for feelings could paralyze one or affect one’s actions if held onto – but there was always that period before acceptance and release, when one mourned and one’s heart was heavy. But as of yet, the news had not reached the rest of the Temple: Padawan Terzah had not made his rounds, black ribbon or ribbons in hand. Terzah had become, quite literally, the bearer of life or of death, symbolized by what he held, or where it was placed. ** Obi-Wan Kenobi is dead. The shock of the words still lingered. In the Council chambers high above the Temple, Yoda and Mace Windu sat long after Council adjourned, somber of mien. They had meant to speak of Obi-Wan’s padawan, still in need of guidance and now without the one they most trusted to guide him. Instead, both gazed at the empty chair that Obi-Wan had so recently filled: his easy slouch and crossed legs filling the chair as if he had always belonged there. Humbled by his appointment, Obi-Wan had soon become a dominating presence, his soft spoken voice and quick mind often leading the Council to consensus after consensus after prolonged and contentious debate. The sun was slowly sinking, the last of its light slowly being banished by shadows that crept across the patterned floor and sent hungry tentacles creeping up the empty chair - only to flee, temporarily vanquished, by the last feeble light of the sun. Here in this place, the light had always found Obi-Wan Kenobi. Once, many years before, Padawan Kenobi had stood illuminated in the last of the setting sun’s rays as shadows crept over the master who stood next to him, proclaiming the boy Anakin to be his new apprentice. Never again had Padawan Kenobi stood there. The next time he had stood there, it had been as a knight, the light in and around him stronger than ever, for the padawan had battled both a Sith and the darkness and emerged victorious. Always in the light, Kenobi had been, a steady flame beating against encroaching darkness. So it was only just, only expected, that the last lingering golden shades of the dying day lay over his seat, a reminder of the light that had once shone so brightly. Destined for greatness, Qui-Gon Jinn had once said, rare words spoken by one not given to extravagant claims. Ironic, too, considering the master’s speaking for another apprentice only months later. The brighter the flame, the quicker its ending, so true it seemed, for the Jedi as well as the candle. A far greater light, even, was the “Chosen One.” It was why Yoda and Mace remained, in this place of shadows and light. “He shall be missed,” Mace broke the silence. Few would have heard the faint weariness and heaviness in his tone. “Yes, indeed,” Yoda agreed, a sad swivel of his ears accentuating the words as his tone did not. “By the Order and admit must I by myself too. Sad I am not, for home in the Force he is, yet sorrow I feel.” The sentiment made perfect sense to Mace. “He became a close friend. After Qui-Gon Jinn died, I felt I owed it to my old friend to keep an eye on him as all former masters do on their knighted padawans. I didn’t expect – there were times I almost forgot he wasn’t my old padawan. I valued his friendship, as did you.” “Sad is their legacy. Each padawan reporting the death in battle of his master. Shocked I was when Obi-Wan reported from Naboo. Shocked I am now with this report from Jabiim.” Both masters fell silent as they remembered how eerily similar each report was. Battle – one fallen – a padawan left to grieve; a valued Jedi one with the Force. The Order was bleeding with the steady loss of its best and brightest; the generation growing into leadership and meant to be the Order’s future was slipping instead into the Force. “Tragic this loss is.” Yoda rarely whispered. For a moment, he looked ancient and weathered. A blink of his eyes hid the moment of weakness. “More clouded than ever the future is. Speaks to me not does the Force, in mourning perhaps too it is. Thought I would that young Kenobi’s passing I would feel. Muddled, is all.” “Do you think Obi-Wan’s padawan is right – that Kenobi is alive somehow?” Mace somehow hoped that Yoda was in agreement with Skywalker on this. Yoda had always had some kind of a bond with Obi-Wan, one that been inexplicable to Yoda but present from Obi-Wan’s infancy, as if their fates were somehow intertwined. Fondness and respect had bound the two together, much as the Force had bound master and apprentice together with love and respect. Obi-Wan Kenobi had been a lucky man: he had been bound by deep ties of friendship with Qui-Gon Jinn, Yoda, and Anakin Skywalker, not to mention childhood friends that never grew distant. Few men shared such deep bonds; perhaps the Force had gifted the man with this in recognition of the burdens and trials the Jedi would face. A pause and Yoda slowly shook his head. “Wish to believe I do. Believe, I do not.” ** “How the Force does Kenobi do it!” Siri hissed in frustration. There was a lump in her stomach that didn’t seem to go away, almost silent and elusive fingers of Force crawling up and down her spine, and a sense of waiting that kept her forever on edge. Whatever was behind these formless feelings of menace and loss twisting through her, it was persistent. The sight of a blue lightsaber springing to being in the sparring rooms, an overheard chuckle, or the sight of a studious padawan muttering on the intricacies of diplomacy stirred up the dread each time she thought it vanquished. She didn’t know which sensation bothered her more, that elusive feeling of something wrong, or the memory of that touch, his touch, somehow so right. Even now, a week later, Siri would suddenly notice that a finger had slipped above her brow, gently caressing that spot where Obi-Wan had ever so gently placed that innocent and – affectionate – kiss. It wasn’t your typical Jedi gesture and it most certainly wasn’t Obi-Wan Kenobi’s typical gesture. Then again, the way her breathing quickened when she thought of it was not very Jedi-like, either. Why had the Force chosen to unsettle Siri with feelings of foreboding regarding one she could not help? Was she meant to keep him from going – but no, keeping Obi-Wan from duty was nothing she would ever do, or Obi-Wan, either, for that matter. Were his death certain, she would have let him go and he would have gone. Why was she meant to feel his loss, if not because she was to lose him? The Force did not speak, unless the tingle in her fingers or the ache in her heart was the words it chose. Both of them had chosen silence for the better part of two decades now. Two decades during which they had matured both as adults and as Jedi. Two decades in which the passions of youth had muted to a mere memory, a former life that never truly was. Was she to learn another time the resilience of a wounded heart, of how to continue to live when the one loved was no more? “I – don’t – have – bad – feelings,” Siri muttered to herself, cajoled with herself, argued with the dominant practical side of herself. That side of herself merely rolled its eyes and shrugged. With her temporary assignment to the Temple, Siri had too much free time to think. Too much time trying to come to grips with the ominous feeling that was gripping her; and try as she might, she could not rid herself of the feeling. For perhaps the first time, she regretted the numerous times she had teased Obi-Wan about his “bad feelings.” He took it in good humor, as with most teasing, but now she knew as never before how real the feeling was, and how it must feel to have those feelings be a source of amusement to one’s friends and colleagues. For his entire life someone had been mocking his “bad feelings.” What had made the teasing of Obi-Wan so unusual was that a Jedi was expected to tap into his feelings, as guided by the Force. Perhaps the difference was the verbal expression of them. Obi-Wan was always so – earnest – about them. Baldly stated, murmured, whispered – it was easier to ignore or tease him. A bad habit started, in part, because his own master had been prone to dismiss them as mere anxiety on the padawan’s part. Qui-Gon Jinn had been far more in touch with the Living Force – the here and now of the moment, willing to let the future take care of itself as he took care of the present. His padawan’s focus was forward-directed, though as he matured he had fallen more in rhythm with both sides of the Force. Obi-Wan had taken himself far too seriously, far too often, to Siri’s way of thinking. Oh, the mirth and joy were there, inside, as they always had been. Without them, he might have become a pompous, pontificating – unbearable - Jedi. Her mission had always been to tease him and unsettle him, so that the real Obi-Wan would never be trapped within the role that he thought duty bound him to. He had grown stern and strict as Anakin failed to settle into his role of obedient padawan in his adolescence. The young man challenged and questioned his master; bent his patience to the straining point. Then Geonosis happened, and the Clone Wars began. Anakin had matured as a result and Obi-Wan had become far more relaxed as the two’s relationship grew closer, though Obi-Wan confided in a very few his continuing worries. The war had, by necessity, overruled his attempts to understand the changes in the young man and to try to deal with them. Why Siri had these feelings and Obi-Wan hadn’t bothered her. She desperately hoped it wasn’t because he would be the one affected by whatever was sure to go wrong. Bad feelings not withstanding, he had never failed to come out from his experiences alive. Perhaps that was what worried her: that this time he would not and the Force had kept this from him. Obi-Wan would probably tell her to meditate on her feelings, she thought wryly, as if meditation had ever helped Obi-Wan rid himself of them. He had known that he could do nothing other than to accept it, wait for it, and take action to minimize risks. She had already done what she could, little as it was: tell Obi-Wan to be careful. A little shiver ran down her spine every time she thought of him. At least, Anakin had promised to look after his master, and Anakin had always been there to save him. The only thing she could do now was to press her finger nails into the palms of her hand every time Padawan Terzah passed by and hope his destination was not the Kenobi-Skywalker quarters with his macabre offering to the living by marking the passage of yet another Jedi. Too many black ribbons fluttered from name plates, too many trees, shrubs or plants were planted in memory of the departed and far too many memory moths whispered the name of the dead for all eternity. Suddenly the skin at the back of her neck prickled and a feeling of absolute dread spread out from her heart. No, she breathed silently and turned. Blood no longer flowed through her; it had turned to ice. Her heart no longer beat: it had been shocked into silence. She knew, yet she had to ask. Padawan Terzah was passing by, black ribbon in hand. No! A silent scream ripped through the Force and was as quickly stifled. Padawan Terzah walked quietly through the halls, his mission obvious from the object he carried. His was a solemn duty: the placing of a badge of honor and respect for the fallen. He was used to the sense of his fellow Jedi half turning away from him as he approached, swiveling to look after him as he passed, each Jedi all too aware of what the passage of Padawan Terzah meant at this time of day. It didn’t bother him. Today it did. As the bearer of bad tidings he was never a welcome sight, even to a Jedi. His presence at this time of day, one or more black ribbons in hand, meant one more Jedi had fallen, one more Jedi had added his light to the Force. At the rate that the Jedi were dying, Terzah figured the light side of the Force had to be gaining strength against the darkness. Each death of a Jedi was perhaps the sacrifice that would ensure that the younglings and initiates, junior padawans and the Republic’s citizens for whom the Jedi fought and died would have a future. As long as Terzah looked at each ribbon as a symbol of a life saved, rather than a life lost, this duty didn’t usually bother him. As all masters were wont to say, it was all in one’s point of view. Usually he made his rounds without much awareness of what he was doing – carefully affixing the ribbon across a nameplate before updating the Temple roster – and then returning to his studies or own evening meal. Today, his hands trembled, for he had known Master Kenobi better than many of the Jedi who had preceded him into the Force. When home on leave, Master Kenobi had always made it a point to drop in on classes on diplomacy or sometimes lead a lightsaber class. To have “The Negotiator” himself spend time talking to senior padawans not quite old enough to be fighting in the war, to hear the man famous for his exploits at the side of his even more famous padawan, take time away from a rare leave home from war to speak of avoiding war by peaceful means had impressed Terzah tremendously. Then, to have Master Kenobi graciously spend some of his last hours of leave with a padawan, reviewing material said padawan struggled with the very night before returning to war, had cemented Terzah’s respect and hope to someday be even half the Jedi that Master Kenobi was. Now just over a week later, Terzah’s role model as a Jedi was dead: the man who preferred words to the sword had died by the sword. There were many days he did not have this duty and Padawan Terzah was greeted in his passage through the hallways. Today was not one of those days, and this was the appointed time for this duty. As usual, no one would greet him and no one would speak to him, for no one would wish to know the news he carried. That it was carried was news enough. He usually avoided eye contact with those he passed, as they avoided contact with him, their voices silenced at the sight of Padawan Terzah, black ribbon in hand. He rounded a corner, and the light hearted chatter died away as the Jedi on their way to or fro registered his presence. To Terzah’s shock, a female knight called out to him in a voice barely louder than a whisper. “Padawan – who?” The voice was durasteel hard, but when he dared to look the knight in the face, he saw that the hardness was a steeling against expected pain. “Master Kenobi,” he said, willing himself not to look at his toes and to keep his voice steady. The Force wailed with the discordant sound of a broken heart, raw pain bleeding into it for the merest moment before Terzah wondered if he had imagined it, so quickly gone it was, but the Force still shuddered with the aftereffects of grief that had ripped through it. The emotion had been immediately controlled, hidden behind shields, the source of the pain now almost impossible to trace. Amidst the exclamations of dismay and sorrow, among the “Obi-Wan?” and “Master Kenobi?” names spilling from shocked lips, there had been one disbelieving stifled cry and it had come from the female knight who had stopped him. Her face had drained of color though she looked otherwise serene. Unmistakably, it had emanated from the female knight - a close friend of Master Kenobi’s, then, perhaps Knight Tachi. “I’m so sorry,” he offered lamely. He bowed and hurried on his way, shaken by the encounter. His reality had shifted. He was no longer carrying a symbol of lives saved, but of a life lost. Suddenly it was all too real, and the price of war seemed too high, even if the result was peace. Obi-Wan is dead. Obi-Wan is dead. Obi-Wan is – dead. No, Obi-Wan can’t be dead. Siri stood frozen as her mind tried to make sense of the words. She had warned him to be careful. She had loosened the gates of her heart just enough to show him how worried she was. Siri Tachi didn’t have bad feelings and Siri Tachi never admitted to vulnerability, but Siri Tachi had experienced both and admitted them to Obi-Wan. In response, Obi-Wan had given her a gentle kiss on the forehead. She had thought it was a promise he would come back, but perhaps it had been a gesture of farewell. Perhaps, he, too, had sensed that he would not be coming back. He had done it in front of his padawan, in sight of anyone who may have been nearby, and the expression in his eyes just before he leaned in had held a glimmer of amusement and affection. It had also held an awareness that he had just given his padawan a weapon to use against him, and didn’t care. Siri closed her eyes against the news as if by doing so she could shut out the words. All it did do was bring a picture of Obi-Wan into her mind: an insufferable padawan who seemed stuffier than any Jedi she knew, a friend any one would be lucky to have once she let herself really see the young man he was; a young man who had kissed her and she him before they walked away from each other to remain on the Jedi path, their love forbidden and locked away with the tears inside their hearts. Dead! The young man she loved, with a braid a ways below his shoulder, not yet to his waist as it would be. A knight, braid now shorn and soft locks waving where once they stood close-cropped and the mirthful eyes now deep pools of mourning and determination intermingled. The beard he grew to lend an air of authority, transforming the young man outwardly into a mature adult, but it had only transformed his look to closer match the air he already carried himself with. Years and missions left their mark: hair that silvered at his temples, lines that added character rather than marring the smooth young countenance, a calm serenity that had weathered all too many tragedies and griefs and accepted what joys counterbalanced them. Oh, Force, Obi-Wan. Blue-gray eyes crinkling with amusement…a hand rubbing a whiskered chin…the quick grin and the sometimes gruff voice – no longer things that belonged to one alive, but belonged only to memories now. Denial – pain – anger flashed through her, and then, only immense sorrow. Siri Tachi showed no sign of her inward emotion. Obi-Wan Kenobi was now one with the Force, and a Jedi should rejoice in that, and if that were not yet possible, accept it. Goodbye my friend…and Siri knew she couldn’t say goodbye. Her mind was releasing her friend but her heart was holding onto the man she loved. She didn’t want to think that Obi-Wan had died never knowing she still loved him. They couldn’t acknowledge their love, even to themselves, so she had buried it deep within but it still shone bright within her heart, never allowed outward expression. Love, held within tender hands and sealed with just one kiss, lay deep within a Jedi’s heart, for only there was it allowed life. * Fighting to keep a mask of impassivity on her features, Siri knew there was only one place to be, Obi-Wan’s favorite spot: the Room of a Thousand Fountains. She could not throw herself in his arms, hold his face between her hands and lose herself in the reality of his touch which she surely would have done despite everything had Obi-Wan only showed up to dispel the rumors of his death. She sought the bench he favored, tucked under a vine of flowers, within sight of the water with a burbling fountain only a few feet away. Exquisite small white flowers were half hidden within the veined blue-green leaves with a fragrance that was fresh and faint; like the flowers themselves, elusive. Obi-Wan had loved this spot – it held the meaning of the universe, he had said with a hint of a self-conscious laugh. He had gone on to explain that it always reminded him of his master and his lessons on being attuned to the Living Force. “There is beauty and purpose in everything, Padawan, you merely have to see it though it may be hidden from sight and not obvious.” He had spoken softly, his words wrapped in mists of memory and Siri knew he was remembering when Qui-Gon had uttered those simple words. They had obviously taken root in the mind of the padawan who seemed little attuned to the Living Force when younger. A padawan turned knight in the aftermath of one terrible day, unable to give voice to his grief, had sought solace here where one Haleothe vine proved the truth of the beloved master’s philosophy of life. It was here where Siri had found Obi-Wan after Qui-Gon’s death, unable to sleep once he had tucked his padawan into bed. He had been huddled in against himself, cloak pulled tight against an aching grief, the cloak warding off a chill that came from inside rather than out. She had known how deep his pain was when he made no objection when she sat next to him and leaned her head against his shoulder. He had merely sighed and leaned his head against hers, and there they had sat silently, with arms entwined, until the peace he sought had allowed him to pat her hand in thanks and return to his quarters. This day she would sit with her own pain, but there would be no one to share it with her Damn you, Kenobi! Don’t you know this time I need your shoulder to lean on? The path took Siri in a gentle curve, under the boughs of arching trees and past exotic shrubs. Of all the rooms in the Temple, this was the one that truly embodied the Living Force, a place for many Jedi to heal the wounds of the soul. Here was, and here one could merely be, timeless and eternal, finding peace and serenity. “Ah, Knight Tachi, join me.” Master Yoda was sitting on the bench, leaning forward onto his stick. “Come have you to meditate on our loss? A favorite spot of Master Kenobi this was.” Siri really wanted to be alone, but she would not be impolite to Master Yoda. What excuse had she, anyway, to leave when this obviously had been her destination? “Suffered a great loss we have,” Yoda was solemn. “Many losses – Geonosis, battles near and far – Yaddle – now Master Kenobi. Feel the weight of all of them I do.” Sad eyes rose to meet Siri’s and with a rare gentleness, he said, “feelings still you have for him, is it not so? Deep is your grief. Parting you was wise at the time; keeping you apart perhaps not. To duty both of you devoted.” “How is his padawan taking his master’s death?” Siri asked, taking a seat, ignoring the rest of what he said. She could not dwell on what might have been and was denied. “Padawan Skywalker in denial he is, though he was the one to contact the Council. Deeply attached to his master was he, now fighting with the other padawans he is. Rage fuels him as much as grief, worried I am for him.” That was the danger of attachment, born of friendship, affection or love. Letting grief, loss, or fear of such, affect one’s behavior. Anakin Skywalker had always felt deeply, but rather than letting his feelings guide him, he often let them dictate his actions. The ability to move beyond this was what Jedi sought; it was a requirement that one achieve this before knighthood and one reason Anakin Skywalker was not ready to be knighted. His master had known this, feared his inability to train his padawan to let go of what he held so tightly clenched. “My greatest failure,” Obi-Wan had admitted once, when driven to seek advice from other masters. “He should know that Obi-Wan would not want that for him. He would want Anakin to accept his death and move on.” “Know we both do that should and do does not Padawan Skywalker always. A concern, always this was, for the master. Ignored this we should not have, let down Obi-Wan we did when our counsel he sought. Warned him of caution I did, yet heeded him not when caution was needed. Control of his emotions young Skywalker has not.” “It takes time when one feels deeply,” Siri said quietly, thinking how long it took Obi-Wan to completely recover from the loss of his master. True, it had followed a deeply emotional trying time. True, it had occurred in front of his padawan. True, it had also severed a strong bond between master and padawan and the pain of that had seared deeply when the mental link had been violently severed. Any of that alone would have been reason enough for Obi-Wan to fight to regain his equilibrium. Add to that the deep affection he held for his master, and the blow had been severe. It had taken time for the new knight to reach full acceptance and release. “Miss him, I shall,” Yoda stated simply. His eyes blinked at her. “For each other both of you cared deeply. Wrong that was not, time it will take for you to grieve, too, Siri. Leave you to mourn Obi-Wan I will.” Wrong that was not. So Yoda knew what she concealed deep in her heart, and did not condemn her. They had been told to give each other up and they had, but not entirely. For each other both of you cared deeply. Had Obi-Wan still loved her? After making his choice, as had she, between the other and the Jedi, vowing to forget their feelings – had Obi-Wan still loved her? The so-called perfect Jedi: few knew his inner rebellion and chafing under rules he thought wrong even as he upheld the Code as few others did, did his duty as few others did, acted the perfect Jedi as few others did. It was a side of Obi-Wan that few knew of and one he rarely acknowledged even to himself. It wasn’t even present often, but a perfect Jedi would never have such feelings. They were questions for which there would never be answers. It had hurt, those many years ago, to separate. Now, the separation was forever. “A sad day, a sad day indeed,” Yoda said as he stood. With a quick flash of his lightsaber, he cut off a section of vine and presented it to Siri with a bow. “Still here, Obi-Wan is. For in the Force is all, even in this vine.” Siri clutched the small vine close, breathing in its essence. Yoda was right; for now, she held Obi-Wan in her hands as well as in her heart and memories. A tear glimmered in her eyes. ** Somewhere far across the galaxy…. “Agh.” The harsh moan came again, sliding in and out of mists, the sound at first faint but steadily growing louder. Someone was in pain, and from the sound of it, only partially conscious. Who – what – was there something he could do for the person’s pain – incoherent thoughts twisted in his mind as the Jedi slowly gained consciousness, his head pounding. Out of habit, a hand reached to rub his head, but to his surprise, he was unable to move. I’m paralyzed, was his panicked reaction. He remembered a blast and little else, but he hurt everywhere, which probably meant he wasn’t paralyzed. The man moaning, he suddenly realized, was himself, and the man was indeed in pain. “So, the despised Jedi awakes,” a harsh, cold, and feminine voice spoke from somewhere above him. Obi-Wan licked his lips, trying to force words out through a raspy throat – he wondered just what had happened and how long ago; just how did he come be in the hands of Asajj Ventress? He had a very bad feeling about this. Next chapter: Obi-Wan's funeral -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p3/?52 Prolific Author thread: list & links there. Muse fueled by coffee. Often AWOL despite frequent sipping. Writes on inspiration, not a schedule. 2007-2008 the quality years
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Gkilkenny Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 2/7/07 1:31am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch3 posted 020707 Temple Reactions
	Your description of Siri and Obi-Wan's love for each other was beautiful. Trust Yoda to tell her now that it was perhaps meant to be. Duh! Too late now....or is it. Perhaps Siri's love will bring him back and will make them whole. I love this can I be added to a PM list please. -----signature----- Proud Padawan to p_stotts Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear. Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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Fifilla Registered: Mar '06	Date Posted: 2/7/07 5:01am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch3 posted 020707 Temple Reactions
	The sun was slowly sinking, the last of its light slowly being banished by shadows that crept across the patterned floor and sent hungry tentacles creeping up the empty chair - only to flee, temporarily vanquished, by the last feeble light of the sun. Here in this place, the light had always found Obi-Wan Kenobi. (...) Always in the light, Kenobi had been, a steady flame beating against encroaching darkness. So it was only just, only expected, that the last lingering golden shades of the dying day lay over his seat, a reminder of the light that had once shone so brightly. Wow! I loved this! The whole chapter was awesome, I feel so sorry for Siri, Yoda, Mace and Anakin, but especially for Padawan Terzah - poor boy! -----signature----- "There's always a bigger fish." Fear Of Failure - young Qui-Gon (WIP) > http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27642896 Padawan to Valairy_Scot
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VaderLVR64 Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 2/7/07 6:56am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch3 posted 020707 Temple Reactions
	Goodbye my friend…and Siri knew she couldn’t say goodbye. Her mind was releasing her friend but her heart was holding onto the man she loved. She didn’t want to think that Obi-Wan had died never knowing she still loved him. They couldn’t acknowledge their love, even to themselves, so she had buried it deep within but it still shone bright within her heart, never allowed outward expression. Love, held within tender hands and sealed with just one kiss, lay deep within a Jedi’s heart, for only there was it allowed life. I was doing fine until I got there! -----signature----- R.I.P John, Alex, Jason, and Christian Never forgotten Soldiers' Angels http://soldiersangels.org/ 2114 soldiers waiting for someone to care
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earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 2/7/07 9:21am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch3 posted 020707 Temple Reactions
	Eagerly waiting for more, thanks for your description of Siri. -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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Ascal_Elessar Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 2/7/07 12:31pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch3 posted 020707 Temple Reactions
	Fantastic, your descriptions are beautiful, I especially love the ones of obi-Wan. Can't wait for more and thanks for the PM. -----signature----- "HELLO THERE!" Member of the Obi-Wan Kenobi Fan Club "He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm and the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever, he burns at the centre of time and he can see the turn of the universe."
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JediMasterJessica Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 2/7/07 1:08pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch3 posted 020707 Temple Reactions
	Awww, I felt so bad for Siri. That was great writing, Thanks for the PM -----signature----- Proud lover of A/P, Siriwan, L/M, & TK/J Yo mamma is so stupid, she thought Jar Jar came with Pickles Pickles
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Noelie Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 2/7/07 4:58pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama. Obi-Ani., Siriwan. Ch3 posted 020707 Temple Reactions - Date Edited: 2/7/07 7:40pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Noelie
	Very touching. It would be so hard to recieve that news for almost anyone at the Temple. Edit for one more thing: I sure am glad my feeilng of not accepting his early death was right! .. on the other hand where he is.. is very bad. -----signature----- The relationship that has been created in this unique universe is so memorable, and so beautiful. It makes the heart ache. As far as I'm concerned, it's canon.~Ratna on the Noelaverse Proud member of the UPR
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