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Author	Topic: What the Heart Hides. Obi, Ani, Siri - drama, humor, comfort. Complete as of 090208.
earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 7/19 9:56am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama, h/c. Siriwan, Ani. 0719. Obi's on the path to recovery & sparks fl
	Yes Obi-Wan look in that mirror and see that you are healing. “Yoda did say listen to the Force and it will guide you right,” Siri said. “I think it wants us talking to each other, honestly, right now. Nothing more. I do love you, Obi-Wan.” “I love you, too, Siri.” His fingers found hers and wrapped around them. For now, this was enough. And loved the entire update. -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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Raptor517 Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 7/19 1:43pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama, h/c. Siriwan, Ani. 0719. Obi's on the path to recovery & sparks fl
	Obi takes the first step, and like you wrote, has momentum. This going well...Now, if Yoda will allow Obi and Siri to marry, then Anakin can reveal his marriage also, and he won't become Vader...maybe I'm reading into this a little far. Raptor517 -----signature----- Piercing the Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28010631/p1/?1 His Brother's Words http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/26020497/p1/?3 Metamorphosis http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24997946/p5/?7 Hunter's Vendetta http://
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Bastet Registered: Dec '99	Date Posted: 7/19 3:22pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama, h/c. Siriwan, Ani. 0719. Obi's on the path to recovery & sparks fl
	I'm so glad to see things finally going uphill for our dear Obi! In the midst of parrying, Siri smiled and knew not why. In the midst of his journey home, Anakin smiled and thought it was memories of the night just past. In the midst of his meditations, Yoda only grunted and nodded as the Force’s currents brightened around him. I really loved that scene, it shows how connected Obi is to the people who care about him. “I am exceedingly fond of you, as well, my padawan.” “I know,” Anakin ducked his head shyly at the words and grinned like a little boy who had been praised and wasn’t sure why. “I really know that now.” At Obi-Wan’s quizzical look, he merely shrugged his shoulders and offered half-ashamedly, “I sometimes doubted, but I realized I just wasn’t seeing it in the way I had expected to. It was always there, had I just had the eyes to see.” Obi-Wan reached out and fingered the braid, contrition in his eyes, regret for all the mistakes and errors in judgment he had made over the years. “I wish you had told me….” “I wish I had seen….” Anakin looked as guilt-ridden as Obi-Wan felt stricken. The two looked at each other, and then cleared their throats at the same time – agreeing silently there was no need to get maudlin over such a thing – after all, they were men and Jedi both. Awwww! I loved that last scene with Siri and Obi, especially that line about feminine wiles. I can't wait to read more of this, I really love this story. -----signature----- "Oh yeah. Ooh, aah. That's how it always starts. But then later there's running, then...screaming." --Dr. Ian Malcolm "Okay fine. Go ahead and scream. Then when that tricycloplots attacks you, don't come crying to me." --Paul Kirby
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Veloz Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 7/19 5:12pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama, h/c. Siriwan, Ani. 0719. Obi's on the path to recovery & sparks fl
	[/quote]And Veloz: here's your chance for Siri to "see more...." What a mean tease Wonderful chapter once again... so great to see Obi-Wan starting to accept himself and his injuries... admitting he's scared was a HUGE step for him! So great to see them admitting that they love each other i must admit though, that might be enough for them but not for me Tnx so much for the pm, i really dont want to miss an update of this -----signature----- "Hello there!" "Remember the Force will be with you..always" - Obi Wan Kenobi, ANH "Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him?"- Obi Wan Kenobi, ANH
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charie Registered: Oct '07	Date Posted: 7/20 12:40am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama, h/c. Siriwan, Ani. 0719. Obi's on the path to recovery & sparks fl
	So sweet. I really liked the description of Obi-wan's look at himself. I feel like the reader is there taking that "first step" with Obi-wan. Bring on the Siri-wan healing!
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 7/20 1:58pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama, h/c. Siriwan, Ani. 0719. Obi's on the path to recovery & sparks fl
	He was finally able to face himself in the mirror. I really liked how he got past the pain of memory and looked at the now of himself. One’s focus determines one’s reality. As when transforming his grief at his master’s death into memories of the life they had shared, he had found the emptiness within him then replaced by memories of the mentor he had loved. One needed to let go to move forward. The greater the pain, the longer the process, attainment of peace an accumulation of many decisions and many small steps forwards despite the occasional steps backwards. This is Obi-Wan Kenobi who is now, not the Obi-Wan Kenobi who was. See what you were – and see who you are. See who you are becoming, as well. As he progressed, he unconsciously stood a bit taller, the weight of his wounds no longer weighing him down. When his questing fingers had transversed what it could reach, he awoke as if from a trance, blinked and looked at his body, and saw – really saw – what he now looked like, not what his memories showed him. A first step in getting better. It was sweet that they wanted to kiss and yet Obi wasn't sure what he would do if they did. With her help and the help of his friends and Anakin, he's starting down the road to recovery. Great job. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08 Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434 Master to jedidas3 Impeach Bush!
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Lolly_Tolly Registered: Apr '08	Date Posted: 7/20 2:03pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama, h/c. Siriwan, Ani. 0719. Obi's on the path to recovery & sparks fl
	Admitting their love to each other is enough, for now. Yay! Obi-Wan's getting better! Great post, and thanks for the PM! -----signature----- Proud to be Padawan of ZaraValinor! Siriwan shipper! Rise and Fall - (Good character bad) ROTS AU http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28470791&brd=10476&start=28584936 Remember Stressed backwards, is DESSERTS!
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Valairy_Scot Title: PT Rewrite Winner Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 7/20 7:49pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama, h/c. Siriwan, Ani. 0719. Obi's on the path to recovery & sparks fl - Date Edited: 7/21 6:54pm (2 edits total) Edited By: Valairy_Scot
	To everyone - I'm in a bit of shock right now (Obi lost? 2 years in a row? That's truly the one category I thought I had a chance in - now, no more telling me I write a good Obi because he keeps losing - though he's a good sport about it. Hey, it's Obi - what else would you expect?). Thank you all for your support and encouragement. Darth_Nellie Hi! I absolutely adored this latest chapter and hope that our Obi is finally on the road to recovery. Yes, he is, he’s getting ready to face the last hurdle – with Siri’s encouragement. Luckily she’ll have the answer he needs to hear in regards to his deepest fear and doubts. Gkilkenny: The sparks are flying now, do you see the fireworks Uh! Do you see them. They are brilliant, and sparkling. Siri has admitted it, and so has Obi-Wan. Let’s see now – we’ve got affection and friendship , we’ve got the physical attraction – but we don’t have Obi-Wan ready to discard his version of the Code . He will sacrifice love for the Order a second time if he must make a choice. earlybird-obi-wan: Obi-Wan’s moving forward surely and determinedly – and when that stubbornness is channeled, it’s a powerful force, indeed. Raptor517: Obi takes the first step, and like you wrote, has momentum. This going well... And will keep doing so. Now, if Yoda will allow Obi and Siri to marry, then Anakin can reveal his marriage also, and he won't become Vader...maybe I'm reading into this a little far. Yup. 100% wrong for this story; 90% for the sequel. Bastet: I really loved that scene, it shows how connected Obi is to the people who care about him. Ah, in a way, it's all these connections that have/will save him. That is part of Obi’s strength right there – everything and everyone he cares about keeps him grounded in the light, but he lost a bit of faith in his connection to them – they’re showing him they haven’t lost any faith in him and he’s seeing that - finally - that they’re giving him what he needs if he only takes advantage of it. Siri will try some more “feminine wiles” on Obi some time ahead – too bad the way it will work out. Veloz: so great to see Obi-Wan starting to accept himself and his injuries... admitting he's scared was a HUGE step for him! His tongue is finally getting loosened and shortly he’ll be able to admit that deepest fear he’s buried – and get an unexpected answer. Charie:What’s funny about this chapter is the first part was originally written to take place on the rescue shuttle after Ani gets so angry on his behalf. It put Obi too soon on the path to healing, so I postponed it – quite a bit and had to do a bit of rewriting and remove some elements that have already been overdone. Dianethx: It was sweet that they wanted to kiss and yet Obi wasn't sure what he would do if they did. Being alone, they could have done anything – and we know what Siri wants. Now we know Obi does as well, but he’s not doing anything that can’t be undone until he’s at peace with it. He has to do what’s right, not what he wants. Lolly_Tolly:Those two keep ADMITTING it, but they sure don’t do much except kiss here and there. Perhaps that is as it should be, for these two. Special to VaderLVR64 - I hear you've got a new - congrats on the new wee one. It's "Nana" not "grandma"? -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p3/?52 Prolific Author thread: list & links there. Muse fueled by coffee. Often AWOL despite frequent sipping. Writes on inspiration, not a schedule. Proud master of several padawans
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jedidas3 Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 7/21 4:13am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama, h/c. Siriwan, Ani. 0719. Steps Forward & sparks fly. Thanks every
	I hope you know that I'm doing a happy dance at my desk and getting strange looks from the people passing by! I loved this update...of course you knew I would. Anyway, as much as I adore Obi and Siri, I thought the first part was so beautifully done regarding Obi's acceptance. My friend, I'm not sure where to begin, but you are truly what I strive to be. Your gift with words that draw the reader into the character's plight is simply breathtaking. Wonderful job! -----signature----- The Past Revisited http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28440949 Lessons Learned http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28580784 Remembrance http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28009025 Padawan to dianethx
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Magier Registered: Jul '07	Date Posted: 7/21 5:56am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Drama, h/c. Siriwan, Ani. 0719. Steps Forward & sparks fly. Thanks every
	I am glad that Obi-Wan has finally been able to see his situation for what it is and truly begin to move on. I think he is realistic about it and knows it will be a tough road, but I think he is ready. The moment between Obi-Wan and Siri was very sweet. I am glad they can admit they love each other. -----signature----- No Legacy So Rich : Xan,OC, Obi, Qui (9/28) Seekers, Not Saints: SW/TB crossover (8/12)
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ObiWans_Gurl86 Registered: Nov '06	Date Posted: 7/21 10:54pm Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Update 0719. Steps Forward & sparks fly. Winner: Canon & Epic
	WOW Im soo happy, Obiwan could turn things around and look at the positive things that his wounds are healing if not healed, annd him and siri are soo cute, I can't wait to see what Hurdle he jumps next. -----signature----- ObiWans_Gurl86 Obi Wan is the best Jedi Ever!!!! "The meaning of life is change."-Obi Wan Kenobi "Do or do not there is no try."-Yoda "Patience exists to be tested."- Count Dooku
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Valairy_Scot Title: PT Rewrite Winner Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 7/24 1:06am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Update 0719. Steps Forward & sparks fly. Winner: Canon & Epic
	Jedidas3:… getting strange looks from the people passing by! I get that all the time! My friend, I'm not sure where to begin, but you are truly what I strive to be. After reading your last two stories I would have to have to say you are what I strive to be – you, Diane, Kim and others. I ramble – you guys write. Magier: I am glad that Obi-Wan has finally been able to see his situation for what it is and truly begin to move on. I think he is realistic about it and knows it will be a tough road, but I think he is ready. He is – chapter after this one is the first of three that uncovers everything – and once all that is dealt with, Obi-Wan will be essentially “recovered.” He’ll still have a few flashbacks and stuff, but he’ll learn the triggers and ways to deal with them so they don’t interfere with moving on with his life – and the romancin’. The moment between Obi-Wan and Siri was very sweet. I am glad they can admit they love each other. Until the end of time…(Moulin Rouge reference). ObiWans_Gurl86 WOW Im soo happy I'm glad. Gosh, I'm getting rather excited because I'm so close...just three more chapters to get past Jabiim and move forward...I'm giddy and ecstatic at the prospect. The next three are the crucial resolution (though not of the midis, I must say). Chapter 58. Hope and Possibilities Siri had earned Obi-Wan’s eternal gratitude to go along with his love, for he realized that she had risked the loss of his friendship and his love - risked it all on his behalf. She had been willing to lose him to help him. He knew he did not deserve her. Siri didn’t push Obi-Wan faster than he was able to progress on his own, merely offering her support and encouragement. With Siri at his side, whether physically or just in spirit, Obi-Wan had both the strength and the will to not just face, but accept all that had been done to him, as well as the feelings and fears that had come with the torture. Recovery was neither quick nor miraculous, but he was slowly overcoming the trauma with the help of not just Siri, but Bant, Yoda and Mace. Cielan had nearly convinced him what she and the Council already knew: that while his mind had been violated and contaminated – even the Force he had siphoned from Ventress had been poisoned with dark – full recovery was indeed possible and within his grasp. Even in the midst of his own journey, he was a little concerned for Siri. True to her word, she had devoted most of her free time to be with him, even if just to sit silently at his side. They spoke of many things, but never except once of that night he had broken down in her arms. They had been sitting in a Room of a Thousand Fountains and a youngling had tripped and fallen. The resulting bruised knee had brought both a wail of pain and a crèche master to comfort the child. It had also awakened a glimmer of memory, and Obi-Wan turned his attention from the child across the room to the woman at his side. A certain awe and wonder shone from his eyes. “That night – Siri, I remember almost nothing of that night except – I was battling to hold on to – to who I was, to sanity - and it was slowly being stripped away from me for I had nothing to hang onto; nothing - and then you were there to give me something to hold onto, holding me and offering me your tears. You offered me your tears when I could not find mine.” “The tears I had were yours, Kenobi.” The simplicity of her words filled Obi-Wan with a deep gratitude he couldn’t begin to put into words. Siri Tachi cried for no one – as with him, her tears were held within, yet she had gifted him with that most precious of commodities – her heart, from whence her tears sprang. Deep emotion infused his own next words. “I owe you more than you’ll ever know.” He touched her cheek with a finger; Siri smiled and leaned into the gentle touch. “I’m just sorry you had to bear the brunt of that night – you and Anakin, both, but in the end it appears to have been the catalyst for making me face reality. In that sense, I have no cause for regrets.” Siri’s hands twisted in her lap and a flash of something crossed her face. When he asked, Siri merely sighed and said enigmatically, “My capacity to forgive others leaves me ashamed when compared to yours.” Only later had he wondered at her words and to whom they were directed. Not knowing the cause, all Obi-Wan could do was to take Siri’s hand in his and lightly rub it, offering understanding as Siri had done for him. Siri had relaxed marginally, and even smiled at him. “Nobody meant you any harm, I know that,” she said. “Kenobi, you’re right. Again.” “Sometimes, yes, I am,” he had said, laughing, still not understanding. He didn’t even know what he had been right about – neither had said little more, only held hands and enjoyed being together. Words did not need to be spoken, for their hearts spoke in a language not vocal. This was, perhaps, the promise of Jabiim – the gift born from pain and suffering. Bonds, reconnected and strengthened – those with friends, that with his padawan and perhaps, in time, the Force itself. If trying to understand his own feelings and desires weren’t confusing enough, Obi-Wan was also now wrestling with a reinterpretation of the Code he was raised on after his latest visit to Jayren. If he didn’t know better, the Force was in a conspiracy with other Jedi to get him together with Siri – for Yoda and Adi had both encouraged them to acknowledge their feelings, Siri seemed willing to pursue those feelings within a committed but publicly unacknowledged relationship and now Jayren had provided an historical interpretation of the Code that could, if Obi-Wan chose to accept, mean he would not be in violation of his vows to the Order. It had started innocently enough. After the customary greeting of, “Obi-Wan! If anyone can, you can help me. You can help me remember how to laugh, can’t you?” and the laughs that Obi-Wan always found to share with Jayren, the two Jedi settled in for a long talk. “You’re doing better, Obi-Wan.” ‘It’s my eyes,” he replied lightly. At Jayren’s questioning look, he chuckled. “Siri tells me she can tell how I’m doing just by looking in my eyes. Thanks to her I’ve started to face what I should have been facing all along.” Jayren smiled and with Obi-Wan’s help, settled more comfortably against his pillow. “It takes time, Obi-Wan. You weren’t here when I woke to recognize the changes in my own life. I wasn’t accepting at first. I made life rather miserable for the healers. I hid from the truth. I think hiding is part of the process of healing – it’s part of the shock and numbness that have to wear off before one can put one’s energy into moving forward. When you were ready to move on, Siri was the impetus you needed, just as Yoda and the mind healers were for me.” “Your courage always impresses me.” “Courage?” Jayren chuckled, the closest he could come to a laugh. “Ask the healers if I was brave at first…I fought against reality, but in the end, you realize you only have two choices – accept it or not. I could seek acceptance and happiness or I could reject that acceptance and be miserable – I enjoy life too much to be miserable. Look on the bright side – look how much research I’m able to get done since I’m not in the field.” What was so remarkable about that declaration was the utter sincerity behind the words, Obi-Wan decided, proof of the will and strength of the human soul. The Jayren he remembered from his padawan days would not have taken well to even the thought of being bed-ridden the rest of his days – true proof of the adage: In adversity the true soul is revealed. Jayren had been tempered on the anvil of suffering into an extraordinary being. “So what are you working on now?” “The Code. Fascinating…want to hear about it?” Jayren had been working on the evolution of the Jedi code: how both its words and its guidance had changed over time. That it did not exist in its present form until fairly recently was not entirely new to Obi-Wan, or to any Jedi, really. The actual details of how it changed from its original intentions were, as Jayren said, fascinating. It had been initially written as a guideline for the Order: meant less as a rulebook and more as ideals to strive for; never meant to be rules of behavior as it was now understood to be. Jayren’s explanation behind the “There is no passion, there is only serenity” clause had sparked quite a debate between the two. Passion meant one could not achieve serenity and without serenity one could not hear the Force’s will, Obi-Wan had argued. The passion of a boy whose mother had died in his arms was proof of that – Anakin had not found the serenity to accept his mother’s passage into the Force – even now it was an open wound that had not entirely healed. Qui-Gon had been as much father to him as Shmi Skywalker was mother to Anakin, but Obi-Wan had found peace and acceptance with the passage of time. Qui-Gon had merely returned to the place of his birth, as would Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Jayren – as would they all when the time came. The fact that Obi-Wan missed him, mourned him, grieved for him did not mean the Force was wrong in reclaiming its own, only that Obi-Wan’s human mind needed time to adjust to the absence of a much-loved one. Jayren had not disagreed, yet his explanation of “passion” was different than what Obi-Wan had been taught. Passion that blocked rationality, passion that defied context and passion that denied morality was the passion a Jedi sought to tame and subjugate to the Force. Passion was a Jedi’s heart: in concert with the mind and soul it led to a Jedi’s serenity rather than blocked it. In harmony, passion and serenity led to a Jedi’s ability to truly hear and understand the Force’s will. It was an explanation that rang true to Obi-Wan, when all was said and done. It gave him so much to think on that they postponed the discussion of the rest of the Code to another time, for time they had plenty of, both of them. Though Obi-Wan hadn’t as yet resumed his usual visits to the crèche and the classes of the initiates, he continued his visits to the Jedi in the long-term care section of the healers ward. A convalescing Jedi on medical leave still had much to offer, he was quick to discover. His visits were eagerly anticipated, for the aged and infirm usually had to be satisfied with the infrequent visits of Jedi who nowadays had little time to just visit. Time, however, Obi-Wan had plenty of, and he saw no better way to spend it than with those in the same situation. In their own way, they helped Obi-Wan as much as he helped them. Bed-ridden in many cases, they had little to do but meditate deeply and often with the Force, something the younger Jedi had had little time to do lately. A Jedi at war found little time to meditate. A Jedi home from war now had plenty of time, though without reliable access of his own to the Force it was more often with the help of the other Jedi pulling him into a joint meditation. Cielan wisely left Obi-Wan to find his own answers, for it was now clear that he was on a path to healing. In sessions, she let him guide their discussions, letting the necessary trust develop that would allow Obi-Wan the final release that still awaited its time. The worst had yet to be revealed; for so soul deep was that wound it would only be spoken to a few trusted few. To the surprise of no one who knew him, Obi-Wan had found his way as well to forgiveness of the Council. Initially stung by their request that his integrity be examined and judged, his visits with Jayren and the others reminded him of a Jedi’s sworn duty: to protect the weak and the frail. The Council’s request, no matter how personally painful, was not unreasonable to ask of a Jedi exposed over a long period of time to Sith techniques of mind-twisting. The Council would have been remiss in their duty had they allowed him to sit amongst them without reservation. He had said as much to Yoda, sitting in the elder Jedi’s personal rooms one day. “Not easy to ask this of you it was,” Yoda said gently, gazing at the younger man with sorrowful eyes and a hint of guilt at being unable to forestall the request. “No, it could not have been, nor was it easy to be asked this,” Obi-Wan answered honestly. “In its own way, though, it has helped me – that – emotional reaction I had forced me, with the help of Siri, to see that I was the obstacle to my own healing for I was clinging to this illusion of normalcy.” “Always too hard on yourself you are, young one.” At the fond sobriquet, Obi-Wan half-smiled as Yoda continued, “Siri, good for you she is. Knew this even before returned you did. Your feelings to each other you have admitted; helped you that has.” Obi-Wan couldn’t help but laugh at Yoda’s chortle at his own comment even as he nodded in agreement. It was due to Siri more than anyone that he was finally taking his recovery into his own hands, and that meant facing some hard truths, though he was aware that there were deeper issues he yet feared to recognize and face. In hindsight it was so easy to see where he had lost his way, for he had become the very thing a Jedi should never allow himself to be – a man who hid from the truth and thus himself. Reality, indeed freedom itself, had allowed the shock he had held at bay so long to finally take hold, but one could not live one’s life in a perpetual state of shock as he had been in danger of doing. “It has, but I’ve made a start only. Now I need to face that I – I had dark thoughts there. I - hated Ventress at times. Not just what she was doing, Master Yoda, but her. Had I a chance to kill her, I would have taken it then, no hesitation and I - hate – I hate that I could have felt like that - killed her with no remorse or regrets. Even if I overcame all that – a Jedi should never feel or think like that.” He forced himself to meet Yoda’s eyes as he spoke, not sure of the master’s response to this confession of weakness. Yoda only nodded. “Understand I do, young Obi-Wan. Twisted towards the dark you were, chose it you did not, nor consumed by it either – else shame you would not feel. Hate a Jedi should not, but hate would any Jedi so treated. A failure that is not, shame you should not feel, not for the thought, but only for the deed. Act on hate you could not.” “You seem so sure. I’m not.” Much to Obi-Wan’s surprise, the little Jedi’s face crinkled with the merest glint of humor. Some of the tenseness left him; somehow, he felt sure that had been Yoda’s intent. “Touched the dark once before you did. Defeated hate and anger you did on Naboo, faced your own darkness and defeated it; your trial that was. Know this, I do, that if so pushed you were, remorse and guilt you would feel ever afterwards. Consumed by hate the Obi-Wan Kenobi I know would not be, lost forever you would not be. Forgiveness the Force would grant and so would your fellow Jedi, for down the path of darkness you would not continue. The path of darkness follows choice; rarely does it follow when so pushed to the extreme.” “Your faith in me is – I am always humbled by it.” Obi-Wan dropped his eyes, at a loss for words. “Faith in you I have, indeed; faith in yourself you need. Young one, your struggle is always to the service of the light, for light is what lies at your core. When convinced of this truth you are, you shall find the man you now think lost. Know this I do; know this you shall someday as well.” With the gentlest of touches, Yoda tapped Obi-Wan’s knee with his stick while at the same time he gathered the calming reassurance of the Force to wrap around his fellow Jedi. Obi-Wan had not yet gained perspective or his equilibrium, just as obvious to the old master as to the healer who had informed him of the same. Some of the tension filtered out from the troubled Jedi’s body; Obi-Wan relaxed, but only slightly. He looked down at his hands, suddenly unwilling to look at Yoda, his voice almost imperceptibly trembling as the unrevealed fears crept closer to the surface. “I don’t ever want to tell even the Council everything that happened there, have it a part of the official record. I don’t want – Anakin, or anyone to know - everything.” “Shame do you feel? Know better you do. This too is taught: to act under duress is to be free of shame.” Yoda’s eyes were gentle and filled with compassion. “Tell this old Jedi the rest, help you face it I will. Have you the strength yet to do so?” “No, Master. I have not progressed that far as yet,” Obi-Wan replied quietly. “Than weak enough can you be to speak? Strength there can be in such; admit weakness you should - not grasp for strength yet. “That weak, I am not, either.” A clawed hand reached out and tapped the Jedi’s hand, resting on his knees as the little Jedi looked earnestly up into the eyes of the younger man. “Find your strength you will, Obi-Wan, when your weakness you find. Meditate have you been able to do yet this day? No? Your guide I will happily be.” The hidden doubts and fears that Obi-Wan had not admitted to his conscious mind receded deep within once more as Yoda guided him into the soothing waves of the Force. But the warm currents beckoned, and soon, the time would come to release them. ** Siri barely refrained from pacing up and down in her master’s quarters, for she had just found out the Council was essentially the cause of Obi-Wan’s near breakdown. She was not taking it well. She hadn’t minded at all that her close proximity to the Jedi and the knowledge of his struggles had helped form Adi’s report to the Council. She even understood, no matter how abhorrent the thought was, why the Council had been concerned. Adi’s using her padawan’s knowledge to help Obi-Wan was not an issue. What bothered her was the Council’s timing – and that Adi had been the representative of that Council, making her indirectly responsible for Obi-Wan’s emotional reaction. At this moment she seriously doubted their collective or individual wisdom. “I can’t believe you, Adi, would have been the one to have asked this of Obi-Wan, through Cielan or not – you didn’t see him - the poor man – half lost in his own mind – you didn’t feel his tears drench your tunic as his body shook so silently within your arms somehow knowing those arms were a safe haven.” Her frustration with her master and the Council was near bubbling over, and it wasn’t helped by Adi’s quiet serenity. Obi-Wan hadn’t even been able to cry until Siri had given him her own tears…she’d have cried for him long ago if she had known it was what he had needed. “I know of his reaction, of course, and I deeply regret it. What would you have me say, Siri?” “That you were wrong to ask this of Obi-Wan! He didn’t need to be driven further into turmoil! You could have permanently harmed him.” Adi’s soft sigh and glance at her hands, curled in her lap as Siri paced, was the only sign of the Councilwoman’s perturbation. Raising her eyes to her padawan’s glare, she could only offer the truth, painful as it might be for Siri to hear. “And if the Sith had reached him – corrupted him, should we have let him continue to sit on the Council? Would we be right to potentially sacrifice other Jedi – his friends, yours – by observing the social niceties? Siri, Obi-Wan was captive a long time; he was mentally and physically abused – the details are - horrific. No Jedi can stand against that treatment forever, not even Obi-Wan. What would you have had the Council do?” Siri flopped into a seat next to Adi and growled. “The Council could have waited….” “Yes, but those of us who thought so were out-voted. In any case, it has no bearing on what he endured there. Siri, perhaps you should read my report and Alpha’s as well. It won’t be easy to read,” Adi lightly combed her fingers through Siri’s hair, a gesture that took them both back years, “but perhaps you will understand both why the Council asked this, and why Obi-Wan has been so troubled. If you love him, truly love him as I know you do, it will wound your heart deeply, but it might help you to help heal his.” Adi retrieved her data pad and gave it into Siri’s hands. “Why don’t you go into my room and read it. I’ll be here waiting.” Numbly, Siri stood up and stared at the datapad. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know anymore than she already did. Yet Obi-Wan had lived this, surely she could read it. Her chin came up and she nodded. She knew her heart was about to break all over again. -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p3/?52 Prolific Author thread: list & links there. Muse fueled by coffee. Often AWOL despite frequent sipping. Writes on inspiration, not a schedule. Proud master of several padawans
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Gkilkenny Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 7/24 3:54am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Siriwan. H/C. Drama. Update 0724 . Winner: Canon & Epic - Date Edited: 7/24 3:55am (1 edits total) Edited By: Gkilkenny
	Obi-Wan is gradually coming back and I loved Yoda and Obi-Wan's talk. Yoda has great respect for Obi-Wan. If you love him, truly love him as I know you do, it will wound your heart deeply, but it might help you to help heal his.” Adi retrieved her data pad and gave it into Siri’s hands. “Why don’t you go into my room and read it. I’ll be here waiting.” Numbly, Siri stood up and stared at the datapad. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know anymore than she already did. Yet Obi-Wan had lived this, surely she could read it. Her chin came up and she nodded. Siri is strong and I think by knowing it will help her to help him. Well I hope so Wonderful -----signature----- Padawan to p_stotts Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear. Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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Veloz Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 7/24 5:58am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Siriwan. H/C. Drama. Update 0724 . Winner: Canon & Epic
	Another wonderful chapter It's great to see Yoda have so much respect for Obi-Wan, it's greatly desserved! .... nice to see that he's slowly finding his way and he has the support of his friends “That night – Siri, I remember almost nothing of that night except – I was battling to hold on to – to who I was, to sanity - and it was slowly being stripped away from me for I had nothing to hang onto; nothing - and then you were there to give me something to hold onto, holding me and offering me your tears. You offered me your tears when I could not find mine.” “The tears I had were yours, Kenobi.” The simplicity of her words filled Obi-Wan with a deep gratitude he couldn’t begin to put into words. Siri Tachi cried for no one – as with him, her tears were held within, yet she had gifted him with that most precious of commodities – her heart, from whence her tears sprang. Deep emotion infused his own next words. “I owe you more than you’ll ever know.” He touched her cheek with a finger; Siri smiled and leaned into the gentle touch. “I’m just sorry you had to bear the brunt of that night – you and Anakin, both, but in the end it appears to have been the catalyst for making me face reality. In that sense, I have no cause for regrets.” Awww loved this part Uh oh, let's see how Siri will handle reading what Obi-Wan endured Thanks a lot for the pm, cant wait to read what comes next -----signature----- "Hello there!" "Remember the Force will be with you..always" - Obi Wan Kenobi, ANH "Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him?"- Obi Wan Kenobi, ANH
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earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 7/24 8:33am Subject: RE: What the Heart Hides. Siriwan. H/C. Drama. Update 0724 . Winner: Canon & Epic
	“Faith in you I have, indeed; faith in yourself you need. Young one, your struggle is always to the service of the light, for light is what lies at your core. When convinced of this truth you are, you shall find the man you now think lost. Know this I do; know this you shall someday as well.” With the gentlest of touches, Yoda tapped Obi-Wan’s knee with his stick while at the same time he gathered the calming reassurance of the Force to wrap around his fellow Jedi. Obi-Wan had not yet gained perspective or his equilibrium, just as obvious to the old master as to the healer who had informed him of the same. Some of the tension filtered out from the troubled Jedi’s body; Obi-Wan relaxed, but only slightly. He looked down at his hands, suddenly unwilling to look at Yoda, his voice almost imperceptibly trembling as the unrevealed fears crept closer to the surface. Lovely. The core of Obi-Wan is a being of pure light. Wonderful update -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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