| Author |
Topic:
Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU) Chapter 10 Author replies 9/25
|
pat_skywalker39
Registered:
Jan '04
|
Date Posted:
2/2/07 6:43am
Subject:
Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU) Chapter 10 Author replies 9/25
- Date Edited:
10/22/07 10:05am (31 edits total)
Edited By:
pat_skywalker39
|
Title: Dark Betrayal
Author: pat_skywalker39
Timeframe: A New Hope
Genre: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: I wished I could own Star Wars, but until that day George owns everything
Hi everyone, this my first long story, so don't be cruel, but i like positive criticisms. I'd like to thank my beta reader Jade_eyes for helping me.
Here it goes
Dark Betrayal
Prelude
The suns were long gone and the three moons of Tatooine shined from the sky. Another peaceful night for him as it had been the past 17 years. The first two years were more trouble. After delivering the babies, he had settled himself near a cliff, from where he had a view from everywhere.
Tusken Raiders had tried during two years to chase him away without success. They now avoided this area, stories about a man wielding a sword of light scaring them to death.
Ben, as the local called him, kept watch nonetheless, as one was never sure when trouble would rise, especially with the two children he needed to keep safe.
First there was Luke, a disconcerting ability to get in trouble, the living proof that recklessness and naivety could be placed in the same sentence. There’s no doubt he was Anakin son. The sandy blond hair and his blue eyes gave him away.
Then Mara Jade, a flaring temper matching her fiery red hair as well as green eyes looking for a fight. Rescued from certain death, Mara was still an infant in the Crèche and still considered as the only one to survive the massacre led by Darth Vader on the last day of existence of the Republic.
Kneeled in front of his modest home, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi let the Force flowed through him. He could sense every life form around him, even some he would have described pathetic in his old days as a Padawan. Now, well he knew better. Thinking about his younger self, he wondered what would have happened had Qui-Gon not died? Would Dooku still be a Jedi? Would the Clone Wars have existed? Would Anakin still be himself? So much questions that he thought he could almost hear Qui-Gon tell him to concentrate on the here and now.
At the same moment near the Lars Homestead
Checking the fuel tank on the speeder, a young female swore some huttese curses
“Ah Luke, you’re such an idiot!” said Mara.
“Ah come on, it’s OK” replied the young man named Luke.
They were stuck a couple of kilometers of the Lars Homestead, the engine having run out of fuel on their only day off from working at the farm, having spent all day of at Beggar’s Canyon racing against their friends.
“You’re an idiot anyway! You wanted to show off in front of everyone, again might I add, and now we’re out of fuel and the night is coming. Care to explain how it’s OK?”
“Maybe because I brought an extra fuel pack just in case…” answered Luke trying to soothe her.
Sticking her tongue at him, she let Luke installed the extra fuel pack and they were back on their way to the Homestead still arguing about the incident.
-----signature-----
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
VaderLVR64
Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots
Registered:
Feb '04
|
Date Posted:
2/2/07 8:25am
Subject:
RE: Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU)
|
Good start! I look forward to more!
First there was Luke, a disconcerting ability to get in trouble, the living proof that recklessness and naivety could be placed in the same sentence. There’s no doubt he was Anakin son. The sandy blond hair and his blue eyes gave him away.
Loved that! So true.:)
-----signature-----
If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories.
Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
JadeSolo
Title: NSF managing NSWFF
Registered:
Sep '02
|
Date Posted:
2/2/07 10:41am
Subject:
RE: Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU)
|
First there was Luke, a disconcerting ability to get in trouble, the living proof that recklessness and naivety could be placed in the same sentence.
 And hey, Mara's around to keep him in line. Or get him into more trouble. 
-----signature-----
"If you expect a kick in the balls and you get a slap in the face, it's a victory."
"May God bless you and keep you always...I mean that in a civic deist way." -Prof. Siegel
"No guaranteed money, but all guaranteed fun!"
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Jade_eyes
Registered:
Aug '04
|
Date Posted:
2/2/07 12:41pm
Subject:
RE: Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU)
|
Woot! It's up! 
So cool Mara and Luke growingup together. They're so used to each other probably they don't realize they are getting feelings for each other.  Hee!! But how can they help it? 
I'm really enjoying this. 
-----signature-----
Luke/Mara--without end forever ginchy, Irish =I Squggles before I read a word
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
KELIA
Title: Moderator: Fan Fiction
Registered:
Jul '05
|
Date Posted:
2/2/07 1:12pm
Subject:
RE: Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU)
|
Awww...I loved the banter between Luke and Mara.
How intriguing they are growing up together on Tatooine.
If you have a PM list, please add me? 
looling forward to more
-----signature-----
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
ginchy
Registered:
May '05
|
Date Posted:
2/2/07 1:21pm
Subject:
RE: Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU)
|
Finally a "sister" Luke can kiss! (Have they been raised as siblings??)
Great start; I'm loving it! Could I get a PM when you update? 
-----signature-----
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
RedGold
Registered:
Nov '04
|
Date Posted:
2/2/07 2:47pm
Subject:
RE: Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU)
|
You haven't said if they think they are siblings or not.. but this should be interesting! 
pm please if you do those
-----signature-----
Legend... Recluse... Forgotten... Will one day return... http://www.starwarsfanfic.com
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Jaded_Rose
Registered:
Nov '06
|
Date Posted:
2/2/07 3:08pm
Subject:
RE: Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU)
|
This is highly intriguing, please, PM me when you update!
The banter was typical Luke and Mara - the poor Lars'!
J_Ro
-----signature-----
The pen is mightier than the sword, if it has been sharpened to a fine point,
dipped in deadly poison and thrown from ten feet away.
But really, you're better off with a sword.
-America, The Book
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
DarthJaded
Registered:
May '06
|
Date Posted:
2/2/07 5:52pm
Subject:
RE: Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU)
|
Awesome!! Luke and Mara growing up together, know that must be trouble for Owen and Beru. Were they raised together?  Anyway great start and I look forward to more.
D.J  
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Darthme1011
Registered:
Mar '06
|
Date Posted:
2/3/07 4:13pm
Subject:
RE: Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU)
|
|
cool
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
pat_skywalker39
Registered:
Jan '04
|
Date Posted:
2/5/07 8:30am
Subject:
Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU) Author Replies (2/5)
- Date Edited:
2/5/07 8:59am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
pat_skywalker39
|
First of all, let me thank you all, 9 replies is 9 more than I could hoped for! If you want pm, let me know...
VaderLVR64 posted:
Good start! I look forward to more!
First there was Luke, a disconcerting ability to get in trouble, the living proof that recklessness and naivety could be placed in the same sentence. There’s no doubt he was Anakin son. The sandy blond hair and his blue eyes gave him away.
Loved that! So true.:)
thanks! coming from you, I really appreciate it
JadeSolo posted:
First there was Luke, a disconcerting ability to get in trouble, the living proof that recklessness and naivety could be placed in the same sentence.
And hey, Mara's around to keep him in line. Or get him into more trouble.
she sure is
Jade_eyes posted:
Woot! It's up!
So cool Mara and Luke growingup together. They're so used to each other probably they don't realize they are getting feelings for each other. Hee!! But how can they help it?
I'm really enjoying this.
thanks!
KELIA posted:
Awww...I loved the banter between Luke and Mara.
How intriguing they are growing up together on Tatooine.
If you have a PM list, please add me?
looling forward to more
you're on it!
ginchy posted:
Finally a "sister" Luke can kiss! (Have they been raised as siblings??)
Great start; I'm loving it! Could I get a PM when you update?
You're on the pm list as well, as for their relations, it's gonna explained in the next chapter
RedGold posted:
You haven't said if they think they are siblings or not.. but this should be interesting!
pm please if you do those
You're on the PM...
As i've just said, their relation will be explained in the next chapter
Jaded_Rose posted:
This is highly intriguing, please, PM me when you update!
The banter was typical Luke and Mara - the poor Lars'!
J_Ro
You'll be on the list!
DarthJaded posted:
Awesome!! Luke and Mara growing up together, know that must be trouble for Owen and Beru. Were they raised together? Anyway great start and I look forward to more.
D.J
Thanks for the encouragement!
Darthme1011 posted:
cool
Thanks!
Here's the pm list so far :
KELIA
ginchy
RedGold
Jaded_Rose
Darthme1011
I'll probably update this week, i've got a couple of chapter already written down, but i want to get at least a couple of chapter ahead of me so that i won't make you wait too long...
-----signature-----
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Darth_Marrs
Registered:
Feb '06
|
Date Posted:
2/5/07 8:40am
Subject:
RE: Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU) Author Replies (2/5)
|
|
Interesting--Vader still bad, but Luke and Mara raised together... I sense many possiblities. Look forward to more!
-----signature-----
"Spock!" "Yes Captain!" "Be one with the horse." "Yes, Captain."
Gods of Dark and Light; Heaven Falls
Legacy of the Red Sun; Children of the Red Sun
Blue Sun Down; The Boy Who Fell
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
pat_skywalker39
Registered:
Jan '04
|
Date Posted:
2/7/07 6:06am
Subject:
RE: Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU) Author Replies (2/5)
- Date Edited:
2/7/07 6:06am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
pat_skywalker39
|
Darth_Marrs posted:
Interesting--Vader still bad, but Luke and Mara raised together... I sense many possiblities. Look forward to more!
I know where the story goes and i hope to surprise you!
-----signature-----
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
pat_skywalker39
Registered:
Jan '04
|
Date Posted:
2/7/07 6:09am
Subject:
Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU) Chapter 1 Updated 2/7
|
This is a short chapter but the next ones will be longer I promise
Chapter 1
Old Ben had been like an uncle to Luke and Mara for the major part of their early life. Owen Lars, their caretaker, had allowed him to be present for
them, on some conditions. One of them had been that he was never to talk about Luke’s father in front of them. And so, Ben Kenobi had kept his promise and
was able to visit them on a regular basis to practice some Force techniques with them.
He was amazed at how they were able to use the Force without recognizing it. In the old days of the Republic, they would have been the most promising padawans of their
ages. Each one of them had their strengths and weaknesses. Luke was a calmer version of his father, though Luke had his recklessness, but tempered with his mother’s
good nature. He was less inclined to get carried away by his emotions as Anakin was. He was able to control them, yet he still acted on them, oftener than his guardians would like. With proper training that streak would go away. His lightning quick reflexes allowed him to be one of the best runners in races against his friends, despite being younger
than them.
As for Mara, well, she was to be watched because of her temper. She was not like Luke as she had sharp wits and didn’t back down from a fight; in fact, in
most cases, she was the one starting them and as matter of fact, finishing them. She reminded the Old Jedi of his former student. She and Owen weren’t on good terms, because she had such an independent spirit and outspoken way. Owen was strict and liked to be obeyed without much, if any, argument. Many times, she had
come close to packing her things and running away from the homestead. It was Luke that convinced her most of the times to let it go, and was the one making them
talk to each other.
Luke and Mara needed each other more than they knew. They completed each other, and in the future, they would need the support of one another, as they wouldn’t be
on Tatooine all their lives. The former Jedi already knew that if they were to be Jedi, the code of attachment wouldn’t fit these two. Mara was independent and only Luke was allowed in her inner circle, yet they didn’t act on their emotions.
-----signature-----
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
ginchy
Registered:
May '05
|
Date Posted:
2/7/07 7:09am
Subject:
RE: Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU) Chapter 1 Updated 2/7
|
hmmm... Sounds like L/M already have a bond that they might not think is unusual. 
Great update and thanks for the PM!
-----signature-----
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
RedGold
Registered:
Nov '04
|
Date Posted:
2/7/07 10:46am
Subject:
RE: Dark Betrayal (L/M, Obi-Wan, Vader, AU) Chapter 1 Updated 2/7
|
promising start for these two
thanks for pm
-----signature-----
Legend... Recluse... Forgotten... Will one day return... http://www.starwarsfanfic.com
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
