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Author	Topic: In Plain Sight: Luke's Story -- ANH AU - complete -- Thanks for your support in the Awards!
ginchy Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 7/6/07 6:11am Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke’s Story – ANH AU – Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs – short story--Update 7/5!
	For once, the presence obeyed without argument. The space around his thoughts emptied immediately. It bothered Luke more than anything he’d heard or seen that afternoon. And that, to me, is very telling. What an intense update! I get shivers reading this, I really do. There's a dark cloud there, and it is so strange to read Luke so different, yet still so believable. Excellent work, especially there. Great update! -----signature----- Positivity. ** Okay, seriously. It’s a Rebel Alliance t-shirt. It is NOT a fleur-de-lis.
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RedGold Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 7/6/07 3:46pm Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke’s Story – ANH AU – Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs – short story--Update 7/5!
	Luke hearing voices isn't neccessarly a good thing. LOL and interesting scenes with mara... hhmmm -----signature----- Legend... Recluse... Forgotten... Will one day return... http://www.starwarsfanfic.com
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JEDIFLYSWATTER Registered: Dec '04	Date Posted: 7/6/07 11:15pm Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke’s Story – ANH AU – Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs – short story--Update 7/5!
	Vader is coming home. Maybe that is why Luke feels that Palpaine's day are limited. The Force is telling him that but is not letting him know that Vader will be the one that takes the old fart out in order to protect his son. Poor Mara. She proubly doesn't understand what is going on. She really would of had a silent fit if she heard Palpatine 'give' her to Luke. Hope they do find love for each other because that also would be a failure for old Palpy. I bet he survived the assination attempt because he set it up for political simpathy. Super job and can noy wait for the next post! Thanks. -----signature----- New Orleans will rise from the ashes! You knew it was a rattlesnke when you picked it up. Kitty cats do not lie about love.
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Jade_Pilot Registered: Dec '05	Date Posted: 7/7/07 10:59am Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke’s Story – ANH AU – Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs – short story--Update 7/5!
	Wonderfully written! This story is like a beautiful tapestry woven to perfection. And it deserves all the nominations it received, dearie! Time passed quickly for Luke. Too quickly. When he had time to think, it frightened him. There was always a faint, distinct tug on his personality, as if he were rushing forward much faster than his surroundings. Lovely opening! You can just feel what Luke is going through. There were whispers. Some bold souls had the effrontery—or mere stupidity—to notice his constant attendance and wonder. Whispers are only air, though, unless they catch a spark to ignite, and Luke was careful to make no sparks. So he followed, and the whispers flared for a while and then faded. Wonderful passage--like prose! And so chilling, it really shows how Luke is changing and learning from Palpatine. Luke already had a beginning Pattern of sorts, but a very primitive, volatile one. He had used it his entire life without realizing it; that explained his abilities and the “power” he felt sometimes. There was no such thing as true, mystical power, Palpatine explained. Just the natural capabilities of the mind. I like how you've used patterns here to paint us a picture of how Luke is growing in the Force. Bravo. Luke didn’t even blink. “It’s been a while,” he commented. “Been on vacation?” [i]I never left you, just as you will never leave me. He crossed his arms nonchalantly. “Always so ominous. Have you ever considered a change of tone? Maybe some humor, a few colloquialisms thrown in for variety?” Silence rang in his ears for a few moments. Nice touch. I know this is a dramatic piece, but even drama needs a little comedy to lighten the moments. This scene does so very nicely. A tight smile nudged his lips upward. Ahh...very original! “The understanding will come in time. Know this, though. Keep it in your mind until further training illuminates the full meaning. All power will rest in your hands, but you must not handle it yourself or it will consume you. You must merely speak, direct, and let others perform your will. But simple delegation is not enough. You must have a proxy to bear the raw destructive force of your power so you may wield it coolly, impassionedly.” “Darth Vader.” “Yes.” The old man turned, looked at him carefully under lidded eyes. “He is mine. But he will not be yours.” Great insights into Palpatine and Vader alike. “There are…complications. You would not control him well. No. I have prepared another for your purposes.” He peered at the aide almost expectantly, and a weighted silence fell. The son shall never rule the father. “I—” Luke nearly choked on his tongue. He felt as if the floor had dropped out under his feet. “Have you never been with a woman, boy?” Palpatine’s voice was almost fatherly. “That is a situation easily remedied. But…” he considered Luke’s flaming face, red to his hairline and the tips of his ears. “…Perhaps that can wait. Passion is good, but only under great control. Passion of a woman is a dangerous kind, skirting the edge of weakness. I gave it up long ago for more…sophisticated pleasures. You must never be weak, Luke. You must never let a woman have influence over you. Use Jade to bear your power and your seed, if you so desire, but never, ever, love her.” Wow! So intense here. The evilness of Palpatine just oozes from the screen. And it would appear it is not too late for Luke. He has not incorporated this evil into his heart...yet! Vader begins to be sick of the whole affair. If Tarkin wishes to play with the Death Star, let him. Besides, of late he has wished to see Coruscant again. Something…a gentle current, tugging at him, a whisper brushing his mind like late summer air. Soft, but urgent. Calling him home. He makes preparations to leave. And now the father senses the son. Wonderful update, furry! I love the depth of this story and the characterizations are superb. Extremely well done! -----signature----- BOO!
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KELIA Title: The Pretty in Pink Fan Fic Manager Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 7/7/07 12:32pm Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke’s Story – ANH AU – Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs – short story--Update 7/5!
	My goodness what an update!! I felt bad for Mara being kicked to the curb by Melgida and now I'm just plain worried for the poor girl. I hope Luke doesn't have it in him to be her Master the way Palpatine wants him to be. And now Vader is on his way back to Coruscant...sounds like things are about to get very interesting indeed. Great update -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 NaNaWriMo Progress: 11,018
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BrentusofGath Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 7/7/07 9:51pm Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke¡¯s Story ¨C ANH AU ¨C Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs ¨C short story--Update
	His destiny appeared to take itself for granted now, and that scared him the most of all. Free will. What a joke. Slowly, a cynical frost began to coat his thinking patterns. LOL! He's learning, damn it, he's learning. Whispers are only air, though, unless they catch a spark to ignite, and Luke was careful to make no sparks. Mmmm, whispers are like venom, not always easy to identify as such, but often fatal enough whether caught in ignorance or knowledge. The Pattern was his greatest tool. Only when a world was properly categorized could it be ruled. That was the secret, Palpatine's greatest gift. There were no variables in his existence. No autonomy within his sphere of influence. Yes, yes! True power rests with not just knowing the outcomes before they happen, but by knowing the underlying reasons and being able to manipulate the events far beforehand. He is learning, mwhahahahaha! All was trapped somewhere in his mind. And that is why I bow to Palpatine. bows There was no such thing as true, mystical power, Palpatine explained. Just the natural capabilities of the mind. Exactly! Huzzah for the power of a superior mind! And those, Luke began to see, were almost limitless. He's getting close to the end. Luke slumped against the pillar and tried to think of nothing at all. It's awfully difficult, isn't it? As for the others...they were nothing to me, even then." Bravo. Uh-oh, he's almost there! The gas killed instantly, painlessly, and spread through the area almost instantly. Hehe. So who, then? That was his first question. The second followed close on its heels. How in worlds had the Emperor survived? It's one thing to foresee an outcome... but quite a different thing to plan it and allow someone else to take the fall for it. How to account for the seemingly purposeless actions Palpatine made so often, later warranted by circumstances he could not possibly have foreseen? Unless he himself was behind it. Luke let his face go still. The senator paled even further and scuttled away. LOL! Useless cretins. You wonder how I survived. It is because I rule absolutely. It is the way things are. In fact, I rather hoped for such an incident, because it opens a lesson I wish to teach you. He said he was going to teach Luke everything. Somehow I don't believe the old battleax tried to kill him, I suspect... well, I'll keep that to myself. "Yes." The old man turned, looked at him carefully under lidded eyes. "He is mine. But he will not be yours." I know exactly where he's going with that. "She is a pretty little thing, is she not? Take her if you will, young Varewe. It might make her hate you more." LOL! Passion of a woman is a dangerous kind, skirting the edge of weakness. Maybe, but it's oh so much fun too. You continue to amaze me furry with the insight and the characterizations here. I knew you were good, but this is fantastic. -----signature----- In time or so I'm told, I'm just another soul for sale, oh well Feel it in my bones when you break my back, break it just to watch me bend Why'd you have to go and Let it Die? -Foo Fighters http://conscienceoftheking.blogspot.com/
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Darth-Buddy Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 7/7/07 10:42pm Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke’s Story – ANH AU – Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs – short story--Update 7/5!
	I can't help but wonder what Vader will think about Palpatine's plans Nice job, I like it a lot. -----signature----- Buddy - A mini-pin with a Darkside. Fan Fiction is better than the Exploited Universe! Obidala sucks!
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Kelli_LB Registered: Jun '06	Date Posted: 7/8/07 5:20am Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke’s Story – ANH AU – Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs – short story--Update 7/5!
	Wow, that was an incredible chapter! It was probably the creepiest thing I've read in a while. The learning did not come without price. It is all well and good to think on another plane; there is a reason, though, that most beings touch that plane only briefly, if ever. Godhood eats a man’s soul. I really fear for what Luke will be after Palpatine is done with him. Luke let it be. There was so much he did not know; one more shard of ignorance could hardly hurt him. He would learn. Of that he was sure. Palpatine had promised to teach him everything. Yes, just like he promised to teach Vader. That didn't turn out like expected as well. “Hey, you! Senator! I arrest you in the name...” A hand shot out of the robes, snaked under the trooper’s throat and lifted him clean off the ground. “I was never here.” Mara and the stormtrooper rubbed their eyes and looked at each other. They were alone in the quiet corridor. “But you will. When I am finished teaching you, nothing in her soul or past will be hidden from your eyes. You will own her, as I own Lord Vader. And she will serve you faithfully, as he serves me.” “She is a pretty little thing, is she not? Take her if you will, young Varewé. It might make her hate you more.” These lines made my skin crawl. You are writing Palpatine so well. This is all very much in his character. -----signature----- Winner of the 2007 Saga Fanfic Awards for Best Villain. The Legacy: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/248894 "I'm babbling on about galactic prostitution...and that's not why you're here! You're here for battle." --The Knudson Menace
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Blue_Milkshake Registered: Nov '05	Date Posted: 7/9/07 12:29pm Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke’s Story – ANH AU – Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs – short story--Update 7/5!
	Outright, anarchic treason. It was a way Mara Jade could not follow. So she stood all alone in a crumbling world, weeping in her filth for a faith broken beyond repair, purpose gone forever. Wow, just...wow! -----signature----- Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. --Dave Barry
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jedi_madison Registered: Dec '03	Date Posted: 7/27/07 11:37am Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke’s Story – ANH AU – Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs – short story--Update 7/5!
	I love this story!!!!! more please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -----signature----- "Insults don't ruin people's days...but lightsabers do!" "Luke! Join the dark side!" "Never!" "We have doughnuts." "... OK."
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furrylittlebantha Registered: Dec '05	Date Posted: 7/30/07 2:01pm Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke’s Story – ANH AU – Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs – short story--Update 7/5!
	Hey, folks-- I know it's been a LONG time, but fortunately the long string of unfortunate events are coming to an end (I think.) My beta's coming back into town tomorrow, which means chapter eight should be up within a couple days. Giganticorum thankyous for the recognition in the Awards! I am one happyfurrylittlebantha. I was so ecstatic that I even told my mother--an act both suicidal and really, really dumb since she thinks fanfiction is a waste of time and is blissfully unaware that I write it most of the time. Anyways: I appreciate it, and I'm glad you're enjoying this! Cross your fingers that I won't be struck by lightning or die in a car crash or choke on string cheese now that I've said everything's going smoothly. -----signature----- Master of tjace and bi0nic. In mourning for the one year, nine months, and five days it has been since The Souls of Demons was updated. sob
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Jade_eyes Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 7/30/07 3:31pm Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke’s Story – ANH AU – Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs – A/N and THANKS! 7/30
	And you write it very very well too!!!! Fanfiction actually saved my keester. My L/M love is alive and burning supernova bright because of it. Congrats on the CLEP!! -----signature----- Spock/Nyota, woven forever together in gorgeous bonds of Nyota's "Cherished Moments" diary's gonna be hawt, hawt, melty! Squggles! [face_melting into 10 buckets!]
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Independence1776 Registered: Feb '06	Date Posted: 7/31/07 12:19pm Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke’s Story – ANH AU – Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs – A/N and THANKS! 7/30
	Sorry for taking a while... Only four posts left? Oh, boy. None of this is good. Luke isn't being trained in the Force, per se. But he sees overarching patterns. Interesting... Melgida: Force senstive, trained by whom? Mara is lost, isn't she? And what did Melgida mean by calling her unfinished? I feel so sorry for her, especially with Palpatine's plans for her. -----signature----- "Independence forever." John Adams Padawan to Luna_Nightshade Fics in bio Mostly lurking at the moment
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Ocelotl_Nesto Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 8/1/07 4:26pm Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke’s Story – ANH AU – Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs – A/N and THANKS! 7/30
	Just found this story... What fun! Sort of... I hate to see poor Luke twisted and turned... I wonder if he still has to get his shots... Is it a force inhibitor? Will Old Ben and Leia make an appearance? Please add me to your PM list
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furrylittlebantha Registered: Dec '05	Date Posted: 8/6/07 6:46pm Subject: RE: In Plain Sight: Luke’s Story – ANH AU – Luke/Vader/Palpatine/Mara/OCs – A/N and THANKS! 7/30
	Hey, everybody. I’m very embarrassed that it’s been a month since the last update, and am even more chagrined to predict that it might be another month until the next. I’m moving to college this Saturday, and life’s going to be crazy for a while. Hence, I tried to make this update remotely interesting to tide you over! leia_naberrie: A vigilante trained Force sensitive Senator to whom the end justifies the means. That about sums up Twansa Melgida. Glad you think it’s cool! VaderLVR64: I just really liked that section. It stood out for me. Love how you're developing all these characters! That section was tricky to write, since it had to convey a pivotal emotional point for Mara without going overboard. It’s great to know you liked it and approve of the character development as well. Mystic665: I'm glad Luke and Vader will soon meet, that should be very interesting. Luke and Vader are meeting soon—this chapter, in fact. Hope you find it interesting! Jade_eyes: My goodness. Luke and Mara's destinies are diverging I think. STill tied but not going in the same direction--i.e., toward the Light or Dark together, such that they rule together or they vanquish the Emperor together. I have a one-track mind. I always see them as ... joined heart and soul. LOL! I applaud your efforts to find merit in a story where Luke and Mara seem to be going down different tracks. Don’t worry, though. This chapter belongs to Vader, but the next one should be very satisfying for you. MotionWright: I wonder what that means. It means that there’s trouble ahead, is what. ):] That bit about the guardsman and Mara was actually inspired by a scene that I really liked in The Magic of Recluce by L.E. Modesitt. Could’ve been cut, but I liked the dynamic of it, and I’m glad you did too. I can see why he would believe that. Well, there's also the Force, which he hasn't mentioned to Luke yet ... will he ever? sighs appreciatively Keen observation there. Brownie points! As to the answer…I cannot say. Listen and remember, Luke. That's probably going to come in handy in the future. Totally. I didn’t think Melgida’s betrayal would take many people by surprise; like you said, she is not the most consistent of characters. Obviously she herself felt justified in her actions, but Mara wasn’t at a point where she could take the same stance. First his aunt, and now Mara. He craves love because his 'parents' were distant and he grew up without it, doesn't he? More brownie points. The only way Luke could take Palpatine’s advice is if he were to become fundamentally changed as a person. Of course, that is entirely possible…]:) This is an interesting reversion of the usual image of Tarkin holding Vader's leash. I know it seemed the other way around in ANH, but I’ve always thought Vader might have a different angle on the whole situation. Unreliable first-person narrator and all that. You’re added to the PM list. Layren: Really interesting how things are playing out. Luke is being manipulated by Palpatine just so easily...it's scary. Many things about Palpatine are scary, including but not limited to his toenails, his concept of justice, and the way he warps young impressionable Skywalkers into minions of his evil schemes. I really am afraid of how much he's already changed and I wonder how much changing he still has left to do. A lot. At least his attraction to Mara is still there L/M forever! Seems Luke can be a farmboy, a bloodthirsty despot, or even a Force-ghost—doesn’t matter what, he’ll always love Mara. Or be attracted to her in a twisted way, or whatever. Thanks for your comments! PadawanMom5610: I will repeat myself. Wow. Chilling. It is scary how far Luke has been changed already. Scary is right! It does seem that Luke and Mara's loyalties are beginning to diverge. It seems that way. But maybe not as much as you think! Palpatine is just so evil and twisted. Ain’t that the truth. Then there's that voice. Who is it???? Yes, Vader, hurry home. Go meet and rescue your son. Dum-da-da-dum! Here he comes… divapilot: I love the details you use, like how Luke's eyes were like "chips of ice" and Mara's eyes are described in the paragraph below: Thanks! I’m glad you didn’t think it was overboard on the adjectives. I do like my adjectives. So Mara is to be his apprentice/hand? Interesting. At least that’s the line he’s spinning. Perhaps one of the reasons Vader is feeling the need to get back to Coruscant is because he sees his own obsolescence looming? Um…scurries to look up ‘obsolescence’ Yeah, okay, that. Luke is finding himself being treated as more powerful -- the "palace voice" obeys him, people call him "master." And he handles it by being glacially cool. Eerie. We all respond to stress in different ways. Some people eat a lot of ice cream. Some people throw things. Some people write fanfic. Luke just happens to be one of those people who become glacially cool. Thanks for your comments and suggestions! MsLanna: I love how dark and twisted everything is. Oh, me too. cackles And I sincerely hope that Luke and Mara find the right way together. We can always hope. I’m glad you’re enjoying this! ginchy: And that, to me, is very telling. ‘Tis! I get shivers reading this, I really do. Why, thank you. Always glad to make someone shiver. I’m delighted you approve of the Luke characterization. AU’s that necessitate a familiar character with different personality traits are always, I think, a balance, so the encouragement is much appreciated! P.S. Lol at your sig! We have the same taste in fashion eyewear. RedGold: Luke hearing voices isn't neccessarly a good thing. LOL No kidding! and interesting scenes with mara... hhmmm :D Thanks for reading! Jade_Pilot: blushes Ye have a gift for blarney, lass. :D Thank you! And so chilling, it really shows how Luke is changing and learning from Palpatine. He’s a fast learner. From Obi-Wan in canon, and from Palps in this AU. I like how you've used patterns here to paint us a picture of how Luke is growing in the Force. blinks innocently Force? Who said anything about the Force? The son shall never rule the father. Nope. And it would appear it is not too late for Luke. He has not incorporated this evil into his heart...yet! No, not yet. What the future holds, who can say? Um, well I guess I can, technically. :D But I’m not saying. Thanks for the lovely review, Jade! KELIA: I felt bad for Mara being kicked to the curb by Melgida and now I'm just plain worried for the poor girl. She just never gets a break, does she? Not in profic and not here. She’s a tough kid, though. Maybe that’s why writers don’t have much compunction in destroying her life so often. :D I hope Luke doesn't have it in him to be her Master the way Palpatine wants him to be. Let’s hope he stays nice. Well…relatively so. And now Vader is on his way back to Coruscant...sounds like things are about to get very interesting indeed. I think you’re right. Thanks for reading! BrentusofGath: He's learning, damn it, he's learning. No kidding. :D Mmmm, whispers are like venom, not always easy to identify as such, but often fatal enough whether caught in ignorance or knowledge. Very true, very true. And that is why I bow to Palpatine. bows I’ve always thought you and Palpatine would enjoy getting the chance to meet in some intermediary dimension. :D He's getting close to the end. Sort of…the story’s only halfway over at this point, as is Luke’s metamorphosis. Unless he himself was behind it. Nope. He wasn’t the one behind it, but neither was Melgida…exclusively, anyways. Thanks for your comments on this chapter! Always interesting to hear your take on things. Darth-Buddy: I can't help but wonder what Vader will think about Palpatine's plans Not good thoughts, I assure you. Thanks for reading! Kelli_LB: It was probably the creepiest thing I've read in a while. Why, thank you! :D I really fear for what Luke will be after Palpatine is done with him. Fortunately, Palps will not be only one influencing Luke from now on. At least, fortunate from a certain point of view… Yes, just like he promised to teach Vader. That didn't turn out like expected as well. LOL! Excellent point! You’re a careful reader. Thanks for the Palpatine props; I’ve never had much of an affinity for the character, so it’s nice to hear that I’m writing him decently. I appreciate it! Blue_Milkshake: Thank you! Hope you like the next chapter. jedi_madison: more please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No problem! Thanks for reading. Jade_eyes: Fanfiction actually saved my keester. Lol! Huzzah for fanfiction. Thanks for the congrats; the funny thing about the CLEP is, writing fanfic prepared me for it much more than my high school English classes. (It focuses mainly on revising written works). Take that, AP English! Independence1776: Sorry for taking a while... Only four posts left? No problem. And actually, it turned out to be more than like six more posts. But yeah, it's winding down. Oh, boy. None of this is good. Nope. Luke isn't being trained in the Force, per se. But he sees overarching patterns. Interesting... His mind is certainly being developed, but that Force-sensitivity... Melgida: Force senstive, trained by whom? And that is a question to which I will respectfully delay the answer until chapter eleven. Mara is lost, isn't she? And what did Melgida mean by calling her unfinished? I feel so sorry for her, especially with Palpatine's plans for her. She's lost for now. But don't worry; she's not the kind to roll with the punches! Ocelotl_Nesto:What fun! Sort of... I'm glad you're having fun. I hate to see poor Luke twisted and turned... It's one of those things you hate and love at the same time. I wonder if he still has to get his shots... Is it a force inhibitor? No force-inhibitor, but Palpatine is devious. Will Old Ben and Leia make an appearance? Sort of...mostly they're on hold until the sequel. You're added to the PM list! Thanks for reading. The PM list is as follows. If anyone wishes to be taken off, don’t hesitate to let me know. ginchy JediVegeta BrentusofGath Jade_eyes MsLanna Darth_Vaderette David_Skywalker01 cooldamien KELIA Jade_Pilot MirandaFair VaderLVR64 RedGold divapilot G_Anakin JEDIFLYSWATTER SITHTIFF leia_naberrie tasujad petra_delling PadawanMom5601 Jaded_Rose jade_angel Independence1776 Kyana-Morgaine satanat_solo Layren Kelli_LB Obi-Zahn Kenobi Gabri_Jade Motion_Wright Ocelotl_Nesto -----signature----- Master of tjace and bi0nic. In mourning for the one year, nine months, and five days it has been since The Souls of Demons was updated. sob
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