MotionWright posted:Thanks for the PM! This chapter was dramatic and suspenseful. And I noticed you're giving out more clues ... So she looked familiar to Pestage. I wonder why ... Oh, by the way, what colour is her hair? (Actually I'm pretty sure I know the answer to that.) We'll see soon....but don't think on the obvious Isn't it a little dangerous for her to be wearing white? Might remind someone of her mother ... In the conversation with Dr Yorn, though, she didn't sound much like her mother to me. Yeah, wearing white might be not very good for her and it isn't HER colour but...uhm personally I always combine white to medical staff. There's a little snag in the end, though: The last patient left the doctor’s office and Kimea said a friendly good bye to him, then entered the office to announce Pestage. It's Lieda, not Kimea. But when you're writing so many stories, it's undestandable that you get mixed up.
MotionWright posted:Well, well... interesting. You seem to be confirming what I guessed right from the start of the story. “I know his name and that’s everything I need to know about him.” I would agree. “Mother would agree. I am alike him, or what he used to be once.” Oh? Somehow I doubt her mother knows much, in that case. “He could, but he would not.” Of course. A Rebel, Jedi daughter isn't exactly something he'd be proud of. More like an embarrassment ... Does he know she even exists?
Kyana-Morgaine posted:Yes, the father aleady knows of her. I quote from the Prologue... The father hadn’t come for welcoming their daughter, nor had he any interest in the child at all. He had talked to Mon Mothma once, assuring her to help out with maintenance. Money. A lot of credits per month. If you're right about...uhm...we're going to face it soon! But that isn't exactly her mission...
MotionWright posted:I'm probably not supposed to reply again, but ... Kyana-Morgaine posted:Yes, the father aleady knows of her. I quote from the Prologue... The father hadn’t come for welcoming their daughter, nor had he any interest in the child at all. He had talked to Mon Mothma once, assuring her to help out with maintenance. Money. A lot of credits per month. If you're right about...uhm...we're going to face it soon! But that isn't exactly her mission... I think you gave one clue too many in this chapter. But if he knows about her, then what was she thinking, taking this mission? Who did she inherit stupidity from?! Oh, right, her mother ... Sorry. I know that's cynical. What is her mission, anyway? I assume it's some kind of spying. Or is she using the Alliance mission as a cover for some other agenda she forgot to tell Mummy about?
VaderLVR64 posted:Great post! It will be interesting to see where you go with this.