Jedi Council Forums - Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin; nommed Best Drama

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Author	Topic: Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin; nommed Best Drama
MsLanna Title: CR GSFF Central = Offizieller Burger Brater Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 9/25/07 5:34am Subject: Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin; nommed Best Drama - Date Edited: 6/17/08 3:44am (6 edits total) Edited By: MsLanna
	Title: Alane Author: MsLanna Timeframe: RotS Genre: drama Characters: Alane, Anakin Keywords: drama, Jedi temple raid Summary: Alane in the killing of the younglings Alane Darkness was approaching. Alane felt it in her bones, in her blood, she felt it in the Force. Never before had she been so sure about something. Death and destruction on it's way to the temple. The other's felt it, too. Alane reached out to feel for Aki, her best friend. He was down in the hall with the other younglings. It seemed incredible that he should be down there, when she was here. Alane looked around in her quarter. Her and her Master's quarter. Not that she had seen much of him what with the war raging in the galaxy. It had been a surprise to become a padawan already. Alane was young, but her abilities in the force had shown such promise. Mater Yan had asked her, if she felt up to being a padawan already. Of course, she had said yes. What the others would say! But it had not been much different from her former life. Not with Master Yan out to safe the galaxy. There was little time to train a padawan. Alane understood. You could not train when the galaxy perished, but if you could avert that, there was time to train afterwards. Sometimes, she thought there would be no afterwards. Sometimes she had felt the darkness engulf everything. Alane looked around the rooms. They were - messy, they always were. Master Yan would scold her about it, but she just didn't care for tidying up. But darkness was approaching, she could feel it. She could feel the signatures of her friends fade. She could feel the pain and shock in the Force. She could feel it in the lives going out already. She wanted to tidy up. Alane did not know where the notion came from. It was unlikely that Master Yan would ever see, it was unlikely that anybody would ever see it, and still. Alane did not want to leave this place a mess. She picked up the dishes on her desk and brought them into the main room. She picked up her clothes and put them back into the cupboard, put them back neatly, folded, not the usual just throwing things in. Grabbing her blanket, Alane shook it out vigorously, folded it in half an placed it on her bed, she tugged the sheets back, knocked the pillow into shape. Then she went to the desk. Flimsies were strewn over it, she stacked them and put them into a drawer. She closed her pad, placed it straight in the middle of the desk, polished the dull surface a little. Her eyes fell on her crayons. They lay scattered on the desk, because she had taken the bigger part of them over to her bedside table when she had been drawing some days ago. Alane turnd about and took the pottery mug she kept the crayons in. Some were still lying on the bedside table. She picked them up, put them into the mug, wanted to return to her desk. Suddenly, the bond to Aki winked out of existence. Alane dropped the mug of crayons. It hit the ground, broke; fragments of pottery and crayons rolled all over the floor. Alane froze, stared. What to do? She could not move, did not dare to think. Aki! Finally, the girl stooped and began to pick up the crayons. Carefully, she placed them on her desk, got a broom and dustpan. Around her, almost all presences in the force had winked out. Like a big, brightly lit cityscape, in which one window after the other went dark. Alane concentrated on sweeping the fragments together. She did not think of Aki. Which was different from not thinking of him. She did that often. Now she thought: I do not think of him. She threw the shards into the dustbin, put the broom and dustpan back. When she returned to her room, Alane found that she was almost finished. She hung her training lightsaber on the hook beside her bed, tugged her blankets straight, placed the stuffed felinx beside her pillow. Aki had laughed about her, said that she was too old to sleep with the felinx in her arms. Aki would not say that anymore. Alane stroked the toy. The she straightened again. Darkness was approaching, she felt it in the Force, her body tingled with it. And the crayons were still lying on her desk. Gingerly, Alane picked them up, she could hold them in one hand, and looked for a good place to put them. She did not want to leave this place a mess. But there was nothing. The girl stood in the middle of her tidy room, cradling her crayons. And darkness was approaching. The door was banged open, and a young man stood in it, his lightsaber ignited. Most of his face was obscured by a low hood, but Alane believed his eyes were glowing eerily. She placed her second hand under the crayons. When he kills me, they will spill. It was not a rational thought. She should be afraid. Alane was not. A lightsaber cauterizes the wound immediately, my blood will not be all over the floor. She could not leave this place a mess. She held the crayons close to her chest, grabbed them tightly, as the figure approached. If I hold on real tight, I might not let go. The might not fall. The red blade hummed in the silence of her room. The yellow eyes focused on her and Alane stared right back into them. There was nothing else to do. For a second the room abounded in sounds, a whooshing, thuds, footsteps, the flapping of a cloak. The last sound was a wooden clicking as the crayons settled down - all over the floor. -----signature----- "You will kill yourself trying to live up to their expectations." "That's okay for me." Cuyir adate jate, bal droten ori'dush Proud Master and buir'ika of Commander_Ducky. My New Title: Lords and Ladies of the Empire
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VaderLVR64 Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 9/25/07 6:10am Subject: RE: Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin
	AACK! Break my heart into a million tiny pieces and then stomp all over it, why don't you?? Masterfully done, but -----signature----- R.I.P John, Alex, Jason, and Christian Never forgotten Soldiers' Angels http://soldiersangels.org/ 2114 soldiers waiting for someone to care
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SilSolo Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 9/25/07 11:51am Subject: RE: Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin
	so heartbreaking!!! -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27517284/p1/?11 Like this quick sketch: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/32848083/ ? Then commission me. Prices are negotiable.
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Anakin_Heartbreaker Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 9/25/07 4:07pm Subject: RE: Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin - Date Edited: 9/25/07 4:08pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Anakin_Heartbreaker
	OMG!!! I think I felt my heart rip out my body. That was so...I can't even say it. My heart broke for her. You've blown me away with this!
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Alexis_Wingstar Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 9/25/07 4:45pm Subject: RE: Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin
	Wow, that was wonderfully heartbreaking. -----signature----- 3rd time NaNoWriMo Participant 3rd time's the charm, right? RIGHT?
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earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 9/25/07 9:59pm Subject: RE: Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin
	So sad, so heartbreaking poor Alane -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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ratna Registered: Mar '07	Date Posted: 9/25/07 10:59pm Subject: RE: Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin
	horrifying and heartbreaking and beautifully done! -----signature----- “What we measure affects what we do. If we have the wrong metrics, we will strive for the wrong things.” Joseph E. Stiglitz
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KELIA Title: The Pretty in Pink Fan Fic Manager Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 9/27/07 11:24am Subject: RE: Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin
	That was brutal Very powerfully written -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 NaNaWriMo Progress: 11,018
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MsLanna Title: CR GSFF Central = Offizieller Burger Brater Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 10/3/07 5:18am Subject: RE: Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin; now with cover art
	Sorry, Vadey, I just felt like drama, drama, drama. I'm glad it comes across so well and I have some experience patching up your heart. patchitypatchpatch there, as good as new. Thank you, SilSolo, it was meant to be. Let me call you an ambulance, Anakin_Heartbreaker. Sorry, to have put you out of words, I hope you recovered quickly. Thanks Alexis. I wanted to try something that just made you cry. Glad you like it. cives tissues to earlybird-obi-wan Maybe I should have put up more warnings? Thank you for reading, though. Wow, ratna, those are some pretty stong adjectives. They all fit very well, though. Thanks. I was not sure about the writing, KELIA, I never wrote a child before. Good to see it comes across well. And yes, brutal, but it was not my idea to kill all those kids. -----signature----- "You will kill yourself trying to live up to their expectations." "That's okay for me." Cuyir adate jate, bal droten ori'dush Proud Master and buir'ika of Commander_Ducky. My New Title: Lords and Ladies of the Empire
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Quigonjecca Registered: Jul '07	Date Posted: 10/3/07 5:26am Subject: RE: Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin; now with cover art
	.... **** That was beautiful! So stunning, and heartwrenching and all those other adjectives I can't think of right now! Good job!!! -----signature----- I'm baaaack! Haha, no one even knew I was gone On NaNoWriMo: TheJestersDaughter Blog: http://www.reviewsfromthenotebook.blogspot.com Feel free to PM me. I've got to get back into the spirit of things somehow Best New Author in the 2008 Saga Awards!
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ratna Registered: Mar '07	Date Posted: 10/3/07 7:05am Subject: RE: Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin; now with cover art - Date Edited: 10/3/07 7:08am (1 edits total) Edited By: ratna
	the art is as haunting as the text. perfect match! whoa, hey, this is my 500th post... -----signature----- “What we measure affects what we do. If we have the wrong metrics, we will strive for the wrong things.” Joseph E. Stiglitz
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MsLanna Title: CR GSFF Central = Offizieller Burger Brater Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 6/17/08 3:35am Subject: RE: Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin; now with cover art
	Erm. So this got nommed and I looked at it agan and realized I had forgotten some of you. I apolgise. Thank you Quigonjecca. Other adjectives? I like 'furry' personally.... Belated congrats on the 500th, ratna. Glad you like the art, too. I'm dabbling there. -----signature----- "You will kill yourself trying to live up to their expectations." "That's okay for me." Cuyir adate jate, bal droten ori'dush Proud Master and buir'ika of Commander_Ducky. My New Title: Lords and Ladies of the Empire
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katriene Registered: May '08	Date Posted: 6/17/08 8:23pm Subject: RE: Alane ; Short Viggie about the Jedi Temple raid of Anakin; nommed Best Drama
	MsLanna posted: A lightsaber cauterizes the wound immediately, my blood will not be all over the floor. She could not leave this place a mess. Oh Lanna...so sad. It's difficult for me to relate to the emotions of a child, but your story brought it through. The practical way she handles what is about to happen shows a great deal of wisdom...but I've always thought children are wiser than adults. -----signature----- Padawan of Toastmaster Etain In training to be 'well-done!'
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