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Author	Topic: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Part Nineteen 8/16/08
1Yodimus_Prime Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 1/11 12:19am Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 10 AT LAST! "Shmi" 12/30/07
	Heh, So here's Qui Gon, wandering about Tatooine all those years before TPM...and does he bother to figure out that mind tricks don't work on half the population? Nooooo. I like that's she's stumbling half-blind through her mission of information gathering. It really reveals her inexperience, something that's easy to forget when the main character is as good a manipulator as she tends to be. But the real question of this chapter: will Shmi be pissed off or just confused when she finds out that those gems are next to worthless? -----signature----- Rule 12: A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head. --- http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/26481069 - The Wise http://boards.theforce.net/B/b1/21283317 - Planet Hopping
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Quigonjecca Registered: Jul '07	Date Posted: 1/11 8:47am Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 10 AT LAST! "Shmi" 12/30/07
	Alexis_Wingstar- Yes, they are half-sisters... You know, I think that by now, Krishna is used to being called creepy! JediKaren- Thank you! Silverfighter- Yes, Shmi had a little brother named Anakin. (I know what you mean though, about posting late at night...) Thank you very much-- and happy new year to you too Silverfighter! Lady_Misty- yes you were right! I would have told you, but I didn't want to give too much away! I've always held to the fact that Shmi was Force-sensitive-- especially when reading the TPM book. It makes it sound like she's Force-sensitive. C1-J2- Ooooh! Another reader! I'm really glad that you are enjoying that. When I got to thinking about darker Jedi, I got to thinking that Anakin can't be the only one. So I created Krishna... the little wayward padawan to corrupt things further. As far as Shmi having Anakin... we'll have to see. Welcome to the PM list! Icecruncher_Amidala- Yes indeed! 1Yodimus_Prime- Yeah, he could have at least tried the mind trick! Oh well, there is time still yet... I think they may spending a little more time on Tatooine... Krishna may be a great manipulator, but she is still young and inexperienced. I felt I needed to show that, so that she doesn't seem a completely in control, because she's not... yet. Yeah, and I wonder what Shmi will think? The next chapter will be up shortly! -----signature----- Voted Best New Author in the 2008 Saga Awards! "Dark Child" http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27658856/p1/?14
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Quigonjecca Registered: Jul '07	Date Posted: 1/13 1:40pm Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 10 AT LAST! "Shmi" 12/30/07
	The PM List so far: Iowaweezer Lady_Misty 1Yodimus_Prime Icecruncher_Amidala Alexis_Wingstar Jedi_Karen EGKenobi Silverfighter C1-J2 If you want on/off the PM list, please let me know! Hello everyone! Welcome to part 11 of "Dark Child". I wanted to let everyone know that from now on, my updates will be less frequent (I'll try to do twice a month though) due to school work. Enjoy, and as always, thanks for reading! Part 11: The Visitor As soon as I exited the cantina, my commlink beeped again. I almost rolled my eyes before answering it. Did he think I couldn’t take care of myself? “Yes Master?” I said, hitting the talk button. “Be very careful.” He said. “I am watching you and there is something following you. Do not go to the inn; instead, take a right at the next main street—I’ll be waiting there for you.” “Yes Sir.” I shut off the transmission. If there was something following me, I didn’t want it to know I was a Jedi. A prickling sensation at the nape of my neck prodded me forward. A moment later, I ducked as a blaster bolt zipped through the air where my head had been only seconds before. My master suddenly appeared by my side, and together we tried to deflect the bolts. It was the first time I had used my new black blade in action. Really I was quite pleased with it. It almost seemed to suck the light out of the surrounding air. Duck, parry, slice, we kept deflecting against a droid-like enemy. I say droid-like, because even though it was a droid, it was an assassin droid, and was far more lethal than usual. I didn’t have time to call upon the Darkness. The battle was over in a matter of minutes. The droid had a self-destruct, so my master and I never found out where it came from…however, I do have my suspicions. “We will not be staying at the inn.” My master said tersely. “We can’t risk endangering everyone else in this settlement with our difficulties. We’ll have to walk back to the ship.” I groaned. The last thing I wanted to do was hike back through the heat to go sit in a stuffy ship. “Don’t worry,” he said. “We’re not going quite yet. First, I suggest we get something to eat.” I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until he said those words. So, we went to eat. However, the only decent place in town was packed, so we had to wait in line and hour. Finally though, we were full, and ready to leave. The suns were setting outside when we exited the diner. “We’re going to have to walk through the dark.” My master stated. I felt a fleck of sand on my cheek. “Can’t we just go back to the inn?” “I cancelled our reservations, and now they’re booked.” I looked at him incredulously. “How can an inn like that one be booked?” “The Boonta Eve race is coming up,” he reminded me. “As a racer, you should have known that.” The wind picked up, and sand began blowing in drifts through the air. “Another storm?” I demanded. “It appears so.” Qui-Gon’s voice was filled with evident disappointment. “It looks like we’ll have to be quick. We don’t want to get buried on our way to the ship.” We began to run. Our feet pounded the sand; me taking two steps for every one of his. The suns set quite fast on Tatooine, and so it was already near dark by the time we reached the entrance to Mos Eisley. That’s when things took a strange turn. “Mahla!” I heard my name called from behind. Skidding to a halt, I turned around, to find a distant figure making it’s way towards us. “Shmi?” “Who is that?” My master demanded, pointing to Shmi, who was running towards us. “It’s the girl I talked to in the cantina earlier, Master.” I explained. Suddenly I had a desire to conceal my relation to Shmi. “But she doesn’t know that I am a Jedi,” I lied. “And she certainly doesn’t know you.” “Mahla! Where are you going?” Shmi called, her voice carrying eerily on the wind. I jogged up to her. “My… racing partner and I were trying to get back to our ship on the outskirts. We would have stayed in town, but the inn was full and—,” “You’ll never make it to the outskirts in the dark during a sandstorm!” She said. “Follow me.” And she started walking off. I motioned for my master to come along, and soon we were walking in single file. Our hands blocked the sand from our eyes, but that didn’t keep it from stinging my skin. I began to see why everyone on Tatooine wore head-to-toe clothing. We arrived at Shmi’s home shortly thereafter. I had to duck to get in, so I’m not sure how my master managed. However, once we were inside, Shmi quickly lit some glowlamps, and we all sat down. “You cannot make it to your ship under cover of nightfall, and in a sandstorm.” She explained. “There are countless horror stories of hunters and travelers getting buried alive—especially at night. Would you like to stay here tonight?” “Ma’am,” My master started. “That’s very kind of you, but we couldn’t possibly just intrude like that—,” “Yes you can.” She said, smiling warmly. “I have a storage room in the back and a few extra pallets around here somewhere. It will be fine.” My master looked uncomfortable. “I’m Dorian Gray.” He said at length. “Mahla and I are here for the race.” “Pleased to meet you Mr. Gray.” Shmi said, looking a little confused, first at me and then at my master. My eyes pleaded with her not to say anything else, and thankfully, she didn’t. “Have you eaten?” She asked. “I have, but if you have not—,” “We have already eaten.” My master stated. Shmi was a natural hostess. Smiling warmly, she rose from her seat, and started into the kitchen. “I’ll go put on some caf.” “I’ll go help…” I quickly rose and followed Shmi into the kitchen, which was thankfully on the other side of the small home. “What’s going on?” She asked. “I thought you said you were Jedi. “I am, but he doesn’t know that I told you that I was a Jedi. I wasn’t supposed to, you know.” “So he’s your Master?” She asked, putting some tea leaves in a pot. “Yes, and I’m a new padawan.” I couldn’t believe I was trying to talk a total stranger into lying for me. I couldn’t believe I had stooped to that level anyway. But right at that moment, I didn’t care. A daring plan was starting to unfold in my mind, and if I was able to carry through with it, any punishment my master could bestow upon me would be worth enduring. She stared hard at me for a moment. “You must be younger than I thought.” I blinked. “Well, how old did you think I was?” “Judging by what I think your species is—which I was assuming part Twi’lek—and Twi’leks always look younger than they are, I judged you to be about seventeen. But perhaps I was wrong.” I didn’t have time to explain that yes, I was seventeen. For now, she could go on thinking me part Twi’lek. For now, I didn’t want to start talking about family history. “I’m thirteen, okay?” She smiled quizzically and poured our caf into cups. “Would you like cream, or sugar?” “Neither,” I replied, as a smile pulled at my lips. “I like mine black.” *** “They’re coming!” A boy cried as a sleek, gray ship flew across the sky. Immediately, all of the younger employees ran off to shower, and prepare themselves for company. Xanatos didn’t budge. Prospective new employers were more like hopes and dreams than realities—at least that’s what Drax said. The black haired boy knew better than to run in. He had after all made friends with one of the most experienced young workers on AgraCorps. A ship flew in almost everyday, Drax had said. “To keep supplies moving, and new employees on their toes.” Drax was strong, lean, and feared by one and all around the farm—except by Xanatos. They had beaten each other up on the first day. Drax—who was two years older than Xanatos—had taken the new boy under his wing. Partially because he genuinely liked Xanatos, and partially because he had been waiting for a boy with just such a Force-signature to show up. Xanatos of course didn’t know any of this. In fact, he hadn’t said a word to anyone except to Drax since he had arrived a week earlier. The instructors and guides assumed him mute or disabled in some way. None of the other workers—new or experienced—even cared enough to try and make friends with the strange quiet boy with fire in his eyes… …Except Drax. Drax hadn’t exactly been expelled from the Jedi Order. But due to a complicated series of events, he had agreed to come to AgraCorps as a scout for his employer. He wasn’t sure why his employer wanted a boy such as Xanatos, and frankly, he didn’t care. All he knew was that something big was going down when he reported the black-haired boy’s midichlorian count and disposition. His employer had sounded pleased—and agreed to fly to AgraCorps within the week. That had never happened before. Drax frowned a little when he saw Xanatos still standing in the orchard, harvesting the fruit. “Xan!” The boy looked up, his face stained purple from fruit he was forbidden to eat. “What?” “I think you need to come for this!” Drax yelled, a wry smile pulling at his lips. “I hear this one is actually thinking about taking some of us off planet!” Xanatos slowly put down the basket of fruit and started walking towards his quarters. He knew it was probably just a joke, but he couldn’t help wondering. Somehow Drax always knew the ins and outs of AgraCorps, and if he could really have a chance to get off planet…well he was going to take it—no matter how. An hour later, all of the younger employees had showered, and were sitting quietly in the main hall of the recreation center. Some were playing holo-games, while others were watching holo-vids. Xanatos though was reading. He wasn’t sure why it was there, but a book on ancient Sith traditions had been hidden high on the top shelf of the library. Instantly, he had taken a liking to the book. Plus, reading kept him from going insane from boredom. Reading and working was what he did. Yes, you learned to care for the plants on AgraCorps, but you didn’t have to work in the gardens. Plus reading made him look intelligent, and if he was going to get off planet, he would probably have to be smart. A warm hand reached over the chair and laid on Xanatos’ shoulder. The boy looked up from his book and stared at the hand for a moment. They knew better than to touch him. Eyes bright with the fire of contempt, Xanatos slowly turned his head to look into the face of the one who dared to lay a finger on him. It was a grown man—not a child. This surprised Xanatos, but he was surprised even more by what the man said. “Ancient Sith traditions?” The man’s eyebrows rose above pale blue eyes. “My, that’s a mighty tough book for one of your age. How old are you?” “Who wants to know?” The man was silent for a moment. “Oh, I do… more than you know.” Xanatos looked at the man with wary curiosity. “I am fourteen, Sir.” They were the first words he had uttered to anyone except for Drax since he arrived. A couple of the other children turned to look at Xanatos. Few of them had heard such a burning voice coming from one so young. He sent a hard glare their way, and they stopped staring. “Fourteen!” The man exclaimed. “Sorry to disappoint you Sir.” Xanatos hissed through clenched teeth. “No, no, it’s no disappointment at all really…” the man’s voice became softer. “I was actually looking for a boy about your age; one that is intelligent, a hard worker, and mature.” Xanatos fell silent. “I have heard much about you, Xanatos.” The man said, a smile pulling at his lips.” Xanatos looked at him again. The room seemed eerily silent. The black-haired boy noticed several other children pull books off the shelves and start to read. “Sir?” “I know this is rather sudden, but a good colleague of mine called Drax has told me very much about you. I actually came from Courscant today, just to see you. You see, I’m looking for a trustworthy senatorial aide…” Xanatos saw Drax out of the corner of his eye, smiling, and giving him the ‘thumbs up’ sign. “But Sir…” “Would you accept the position?” Blue eyes stared into green. Xanatos was confused. This total stranger was asking him to become a politician? But he didn’t care. Anything to get him off the forsaken rock called AgraCorps was good enough. “Yes Sir, I am most interested.” The man clasped his hands. “Oh good then. Well, if you would pack your things, we will be on our way immediately.” Xanatos rose to do so, and then it dawned on him he had forgotten to ask a most important question. “Sir,” he asked, as the man walked out of the room. “Sir, I failed to ask your name.” The man stopped, and smiled once more. “Oh yes; foolish of me to forget that. I am Senator Palpatine, of the Naboo.” Thanks for reading! Feedback is always welcome! -----signature----- Voted Best New Author in the 2008 Saga Awards! "Dark Child" http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27658856/p1/?14
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Alexis_Wingstar Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 1/13 3:25pm Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 11 "The Visitor" 1/13/08
	Ah, so Xan will be the new Sith apprentice. Fitting. So, Shmi thought 'Mahla' was part Twi-lek. LOL She did get the age right though. I can't wait to see what happens next. -----signature----- "Change. It can be good. It can be bad. It can be expected or come as a thief in the night. Invited or not, it always comes." ~Koria "Tender Shadows", co-written w/ The Musical Jedi Padawan to DarthIshtar NaNoWriMo participant 2nd year in a row.
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silverfighter Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 1/13 5:44pm Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 11 "The Visitor" 1/13/08
	Krishna shouldn't have lied... I'm almost willing to bet that Qui-Gon will find out... She smiled quizzically and poured our caf into cups. “Would you like cream, or sugar?” “Neither,” I replied, as a smile pulled at my lips. “I like mine black.” So do I. Great, does that mean I'm evil as well? Xanatos is going to be Sith! Xanatos is going to be a Sith! Good update! -----signature----- I praise my God with uplifted hands and sing 'till I can't sing no more. "You believe there is one God. Good! Even the devils believe that--and shudder." -James 2:19 Dreams = Plotbunnies Plotbunnies = Bad Dreams = Bad (Geometry CAN be useful. Ha.)
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1Yodimus_Prime Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 1/13 11:35pm Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 11 "The Visitor" 1/13/08
	As soon as I exited the cantina, my commlink beeped again. I almost rolled my eyes before answering it. Did he think I couldn’t take care of myself? Yes. Little nitpick: 'parry' is an action you take during a duel, when your oppenent attacks, normally after your own attack fails. So technically, you can't parry a blaster bolt. I like Qui's alias. Say...does he have a portrait of himself anywhere? Might explain why he looks so good for his age The second half of this chapter is, by far, the most well-written part of this story so far. You did a great job describing the agricorps, the plantation, and the children Xanatos was surrounded by in an efficient but organic way. And your vision of the situation is unique and precise. Bravo! You wrote Palpatine well, by the way. He could have remained unnamed, with not mention of politics, and I'd still be hearing his voice in that dialogue. I am impressed. -----signature----- Rule 12: A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head. --- http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/26481069 - The Wise http://boards.theforce.net/B/b1/21283317 - Planet Hopping
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Lady_Misty Registered: Mar '07	Date Posted: 1/14 3:36am Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 11 "The Visitor" 1/13/08
	Xan back on Corucaunt? Krishna better keep her eyes open when she returns home. -----signature----- 'Lumious beings are we, not this crude matter.' Kenneth Cope and Yoda The Clone Wars is wicked good!!!! I got Kenneth Cope's autograph!!!
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Icecruncher_Amidala Registered: Sep '07	Date Posted: 1/19 9:29am Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 11 "The Visitor" 1/13/08
	This chapter was really good, I can't wait for the big duel that is going to come. -----signature----- 'No one is totally worthless. They can just serve as a bad example.'---Something often said by my dad.
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XANl Registered: May '06	Date Posted: 1/21 4:48am Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 11 "The Visitor" 1/13/08 - Date Edited: 1/21 6:31am (1 edits total) Edited By: XANl
	hi I just found this story again, great story so far! Put me on your PM list. Glad to see xani upset at someone other than Master Jinn. I hope you continue, this is a different take and the usual Xan stories! I hope that Xan does return to the Jedi He would be a great knight! Maybe so other master will give him a chance
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Quigonjecca Registered: Jul '07	Date Posted: 1/21 6:29am Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 11 "The Visitor" 1/13/08
	Alexis_Wingstar- Well, Xan being the new Sith apprentice is the plan... however, you know Palpatine; he might change things at the last minute. And Yes, I suppose that 'Mahla's makeup did work if Shmi thought she was Twi'lek. thanks for reading! silverfighter- Yeah she lied. I can't wait to see if Qui-Gon finds out or not. You like your coffee black??? Ebil... YEAH Xani as a Sith!!! 1Yodimus_Prime- blushes Okay, no more parrying blaster bolts... thank you for telling me! As for Qui's alias... honestly, I had no idea Oscar Wilde had a book, called 'A Portrait of Dorian Gray' (or was it a picture of Dorian Gray?). I just made the name up. Now I wish that Krishna's alias was a lit character too! Thank you for you comments about the second half of the story! I've never written any AgriCorps stories before, (or read them for that matter), but I enjoyed it, so I may have to explore that further. I almost didn't put anything about Palpatine in the story, but I figured someone was going to start asking questions soon! Thank you for your comments again-- they mean a lot! Lady_Misty You bet she will! Icecruncher_Amidala- What big duel? XANI- Oh yeah! Another reader! Hello! I'm glad that you're liking the story. This is the first thing I've ever written/read about Xanatos-- I didn't even read the JA books, so I'm glad you like it. Don't worry, I'll continue it-- the next post should be up by tomorrow. Would you like to be on the PM list? Thanks for reading! The next post should be up shortly! -----signature----- Voted Best New Author in the 2008 Saga Awards! "Dark Child" http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27658856/p1/?14
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Iowaweezer Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 1/22 9:07pm Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 11 "The Visitor" 1/13/08
	Hey there, I havent been on the site lately (real life sucks so much....) but I read up on Dark Child. Great job as always (if I start to sound like a broken record, just tell me to shut it). I cant wait for part 12, no rush. -----signature----- "What's your operating number?" - some guy on Com system
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Quigonjecca Registered: Jul '07	Date Posted: 1/24 6:40pm Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 11 "The Visitor" 1/13/08 - Date Edited: 1/24 6:47pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Quigonjecca
	Iowaweezer- Ahhh, yes I know how Real Life can be. Glad you're still reading though! Here's that part twelve you were looking forward to! Hello everyone, and welcome to part 12. Here is the current PM List: Iowaweezer Lady_Misty 1Yodimus_Prime Icecruncher_Amidala Alexis_Wingstar Jedi_Karen EGKenobi Silverfighter C1-J2 XANI Let me know if you want on/off the list! Alright everyone. I wanted to let you know a few things: A) I am going on a trip next week for a couple of days, so it will probably be a while until my next post. And B) I wanted to poll you all. Would you like to see more of Xanatos in this story?. I've been toying with the idea lately... originally it seemed to me that it should be all Krishna, but now I'm not so sure! Well, here's part 12-- "Negotiation" The next morning, I awoke to the smell of freshly baking bread. I hurriedly checked my appearance to make sure my purple makeup was still on properly. If Shmi thought I was half-Twi’lek, I was going to keep it that way. My entire being was filled with an immense sense of anticipation. The Boonta Eve Race was tomorrow, and if I had my way—and I expected I would—then I would be in the race. You see, I had a strange pulling towards Shmi. I had never felt a liking—or obligation to like—anyone before. I suppose it was because we were half sisters. Even friend-wise, though Xanatos and I had known each other for years, I had no problem getting him kicked out. Why did the idea of Shmi being a slave bother me so much? I presumed my master to still be asleep, so quietly I stole out of the small sleeping room, and past the main room where he had set down his pallet. Down the small hall I walked, admiring the various sketches hung on the walls. Shmi was a very talented artist. However, I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard an odd sound coming from the kitchen. Was that laughter? Taking care to conceal my Force-presence, I peeked my head around the corner. My master and Shmi were in the kitchen together. Naturally, Shmi was fixing breakfast. Unnaturally—and unfortunately—my master was trying to help. I grimaced as he flipped over the muja fruit pancakes—they were black on one side. I saw his half-smile. “Perhaps I would be better suited doing something else?” He asked Shmi. She laughed. “That’s alright—we weren’t going to eat those anyway. The dough I let you use was spoiled. I just wanted to see how well you could cook.” Comically, my master quirked his eyebrow into an arch. “Oh?” “Yes,” Shmi answered. “I do that to all my visitors—if they wish to help.” Evidently she felt the need to explain herself, so she continued. “I have helped many a weary traveler in this small home. Although I don’t make much money, I am always open to help absolutely anyone who needs it. Once…” she said, biting her lip. “I even helped a Tusken Raider woman. She would have gotten killed by the townspeople. I felt an obligation to her when she stumbled into my house, blind to the fact that it was occupied. She had a blaster bolt in her leg, and a baby strapped to her back.” Shmi shook her head. She wasn’t acting cocky or proud; she was just merely stating the facts. I felt a ripple of surprise from my Master. He was no longer cooking, but instead sitting at the table. “Well,” he said when she had finished her tale. “If I can’t cook, please let me give you these so that you can replenish your food stock when we have left.” He held out a handful of credits—worth far more than a week’s worth of meals. “I can’t—and won’t—accept that Mr. Gray.” Shmi said firmly, flipping some pancakes in the pan. “You are my guest, and I do not accept payment from guests.” “But you must.” He insisted, rising from the table and setting the credits down in bowl on the counter. “I insist.” “Mr. Gray I—,” “Please,” my master said, looking uncomfortable. “Call me Dorian.” I almost snickered. My master SO did not fit the character of the name ‘Dorian.’ “Dorian then; as I was saying, I will not accept—,” “You know, I don’t believe I know your name.” My master suddenly interjected. My eyes grew wide as Shmi spoke. “Oh I’m sorry. I failed to introduce myself. My name is Shmi Sk—,” “Good morning!” I said, a bit louder than usual as I walked through the door. “Good morning Mahla.” My master said, sitting back down at the table. Shmi smiled warmly. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?” “Quite well,” I answered, sitting down beside my master. Racers don’t say ‘quite well,’ my apprentice. He sent mentally. Inwardly I grimaced. A tangled bramble of thorns was starting to lay itself on top of my plans. Shmi knew we were Jedi, but my Master didn’t know she knew. Shmi didn’t know either of our real names, and in consequence, did not know our family relations. And if my plan succeeded, things were only going to get worse. After a mostly silent breakfast, I rose from my seat. “Where are you going Mahla?” My master asked. “To see what sort of racers are around here. There are bound to be at least a few decent pod shops on this forsaken ball of dust.” I grabbed my satchel of false gems. “I’ll be back later.” Thankfully he took my word for it. Of course, he thought I was playing the part. My poor, naïve master who still thought of me as a little, misunderstood grayling. No, I was not completely lost I suppose… but still, after all that time, you’d think he would have questioned my integrity. As soon as I exited the house, I took out my canteen of water and washed the pathetic purple makeup of my hands and face. For this project, I would have to go in as Krishna. Walking the streets of Corucant, I went over my plan in my head. First, I would find a way meet Isca Dolomine in person, under the name and guise of Krishna Skywalker. From there I would wager on the pod of Mahla Drakk, a friend of ‘Dorian’s.’ If Mahla won the race, then Isca Dolomine would have to give me her racing pod, but if Isca won, the deal would be reversed. Mahla had to win. It was as simple as that. I even had a contract—quite professional looking if I did say so myself. I had stolen the design from an advertising company through the holonet. I stopped at a weapon’s vendor. Of course, to the untrained eye one would have thought the man a beggar. He sat with his greasy hair against the side of an equally dirty building, dark beady eyes following everyone’s every move. I walked over and stood in front of him. “I need two vibroblades.” I hissed. “I need them sharpened and ready to use. If you can give them to me in the next five minutes, I’ll pay you extra.” The man cracked an ugly smile, showing lopsided teeth tinged in gray. “Of course ma’am,” he said in heavily accented basic. “But first we need to discuss price.” I resisted the urge to Force-choke him. Instead I looked on with icy eyes. “We’ll discuss price after I see the merchandise.” His smile grew wider. “Ah yes, a seasoned saleswoman; let me see what I can offer.” Within a matter of minutes, he had pulled out a gleaming array of weapons. Ushering me into a side alley, he opened the black, leather case to reveal some choice knives. Although they were all more or less used-looking, they were in good shape. “And which ones would you recommend?” I asked, balancing the weight of one sword. “Don’t you know what you are looking for?” he asked suspiciously. “Of course,” I answered quickly—maybe too quickly—as I replaced the vibrosword to its proper place. “But a salesman always knows his best pieces.” Although the suspicion remained, he picked up two choice daggers. “These are very powerful…” The unfolded knives were barely the length of my hand. If folded, they could easily fit into my pocket. “Pathetic looking things, aren’t they?” “Ah yes,” he said, smiling maliciously. He activated the blade. I reached for my blaster. “But you see,” he pulled out a piece of thick leather. “It cuts seamlessly…” With one touch, the activated weapon cut clean through his example piece. Without hesitation, I spoke: “I’ll take them both.” His eyes widened at my answer. “Those will cost a pretty penny—,” I dropped two false gems on the table. “Will that do?” He nodded; I took the weapons and left. I needn’t tell you about the rest of my day. After I went by the pod-shop, and laid down a deposit, I was guaranteed a racing vessel for the Boonta Eve. But the disrepair of the pod was the least of my concerns for now. By this time you know—or should know—what it takes to buy information on Tatooine. By the time I had the location of Isca Dolomine, my purse was a bit lighter, and I had used Force-suggestion more than once. She was on the very edge of town, in a supposedly abandoned freighter yard fixing up her pod. The hangar in which she was working was silent as a tomb. “I’ve been looking for you, Dolomine.” I said as casually as possible. Probably not the most intelligent thing to say to a bounty hunter, but it got my point across. She was painting a large, red diamond on the side of her pod. “And your point is?” she didn’t even turn around to look at me. I saw her fingers curl around the hilt of a concealed weapon. “I want to place a bet.” “That’s what the gambling stalls are for.” She hissed. I had been walking up behind her during our conversation. She pivoted to face me, vibroblade in her hand. Isca Dolomine was a Twi’lek woman. She had orange skin and blue eyes and was dressed far simpler than most Twi’leks—covered in head to toe with heavy brown leather. She wore little jewelry, but what she did wear was obviously Twi’lek clan-jewelry. Her lekku were tattooed with a pattern of starburst-like designs, and there were five vibrodaggers of various sorts in loops or pouches on her utility belt. I smiled. So I had been right, she wasn’t a blaster type of gal. “I’m not trying to start an argument here—,” She advanced; I retreated, drawing my two vibroshivs and holding them threateningly. “You already have.” With deadly precision she hurled her weapon at my face. I ducked, and spun around, nearly tripping the woman as she dived for her own fallen weapon. She hadn’t quite reached it when she sent another attack blindly behind her towards my legs. At least, it appeared to be blind—blind with lethal accuracy. “You’re Force-sensitive?” I asked, jumping in the air over her vibroblade, and running up behind her. “And you’re a Jedi?” she guessed, ending two star-shaped projectiles directly at my neck. I dropped flat to the floor, my palms slamming down on the hard. But I wasn’t fast enough—one of the stars grazed my shoulder before I could get up again. I gave a hard shove at the ground, propelling myself upwards to land in a defensive crouch. There was a trickle of blood oozing down my arm. “Maybe,” I answered, contemplating taking the offensive. “Who wants to know?” She sprinted towards me at full speed. I tapped into the Graying Dark of my Force conscientiousness. The room seemed to slow down. Easily, I side stepped the attack, and instead tripped and Force-pinned her to the ground. Isca’s shoulders slammed against the duracrete with a painful thud. Her arms were pinned by her side, useless to the vibrodaggers she held. “I may be a Jedi.” I said softly, coldly. “But I’m not your average goody-two-shoes Light Side wannabe.” Something flickered in her eyes. Confusion mounted in my mind for a split second before she sprang up. Her palm outstretched in my general direction, she pinned me to the ground with the Force. Expression riddled with surprise, I vowed I would have to remember her tactic: false distraction. “I may not be a Jedi.” She said, advancing. “But I’ve learned a thing or two from your kind.” I tried a gentle mind probe. “If you let me up, I won’t kill you.” I felt her touch ease for a moment and I was able to raise my shoulders up. A moment later she slammed them back down with jaw-jarring force. “None of your crazy mind influences Jedi.” She seethed, getting ready to throw the dagger. “Look lady,” I said, struggling to hold my arms up in a gesture of peace. “I am not here as a Jedi.” Her eyes narrowed, and she bent down. “Then why are you here?” I took a deep breath. “About the race—,” “Yes I gathered that.” She rolled her eyes. “Go back where you came from Jedi.” She let me up and shoved me across the room. Linking her vibrodagger back into her belt loop, she all but ignored me. I just stood behind her. Suddenly she whirled on me, and looked me dead in the eye. “You’re either younger than I thought, smart, or not really a Jedi—possibly all three.” She pronounced each word with a point of her blade. “If I had to guess, you’re just a naïve little girl who really does mean what she says. In other words, you’re younger than I thought.” I rolled my eyes. It was my first mission and I had been told that how many times? “Fine then, let’s just say you’re right. Are you going to listen to what I have to say?” She didn’t answer me for a long while; instead she turned back to painting those intricate, beautiful patterns on the side of her pod. “Fine. What do you want?” My mouth started moving just about the time I realized I hadn’t thought of a decent story. But by then it was too late—I had already begun speaking. “I… work for a talent scout. I mean, my Jedi Master is a sort of talent scout. He’s a Twi’lek, and knows good talent when he sees it. He’s watched you race, and is willing to give you a lifetime racing-contract that will guarantee you a spot at all the top races. However, his stakes are high, and he wants to know that you really want this more than anything. So, he places before you a wager. “There’s another rather promising young racer in the race—her name is Mahla, and she’s human. Although I am supposed to keep my opinions at bay, I think you could beat her. Anyway—my master—he thinks that one of you could be, will be, the next big thing, but he’s not sure which one.” I stopped for a moment. Isca’s eyes held a slight glitter in them. “Well go on.” She said after a minute. Good, I had struck the right chord. “So he’s placing before each of you a bet: If you win, you will receive all of Mahla’s winnings, as well as her pod. However, if she wins, the rewards will be reversed: she will receive your pod, and all of your winnings. The ultimate winner—whoever it will be—will also receive a lifetime racing contract.” There was a definite sparkle in her eyes. “Well… what do you say?” I dared not reach out with the Force to sense her emotions, but even without trying, I could feel her greatest weakness: greed. At last, she spoke. “Does your master really think I’m that good?” I smiled. “Would I lie to you? I mean come on—I’m a Jedi!” Inside I was cackling. Oh if only she knew… Hesitantly, she smiled back. “Alright.” She stood, dropping her paintbrush on the floor. In a cocky manner, she tossed her lekku over her shoulder. “Besides, I could whip any human in a race.” “Then we have an accord?” As she nodded, I subtly pulled the folded contract out of my pack pocket. “You’re having me sign on flimsy?” she asked incredulously. “We need a true signature.” “Ah,” but she still didn’t sound convinced. As she handed the signed sheet back, she grimaced. “You really must be a Jedi—so primitive!” I nodded every so slightly, and smiled a bit. “Ah yes. Well, that is our way. Unfortunately I was born into this lifestyle, so I didn’t really have a choice in the matter.” Her eyes grew wide. “Were your parents Jedi too?” Wow, this girl was ignorant. And she called me naïve. “No, I was taken from my parents at a very young age.” Before she could say anymore, I acted as though my comm. had beeped. “Sorry Ms. Dolomine,” the title stuck in my mouth. “Unfortunately, I have to go. Good day.” I walked out of the hangar bay, laughing silently to myself. Thanks for reading! -----signature----- Voted Best New Author in the 2008 Saga Awards! "Dark Child" http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27658856/p1/?14
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1Yodimus_Prime Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 1/24 7:16pm Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 12 "Negotiation" 1/25/08
	Oh well, isn't she a conniving little you-know-what! Where'd she learn to con like that?! Clearly, this ain't yo mamma's Jedi. Also, I'm ambivalent about Xanatos. You write him well, but this should be Krish's story. -----signature----- Rule 12: A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head. --- http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/26481069 - The Wise http://boards.theforce.net/B/b1/21283317 - Planet Hopping
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Icecruncher_Amidala Registered: Sep '07	Date Posted: 1/24 8:33pm Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 12 "Negotiation" 1/25/08
	YES!!! Xanatos definatly should be in the rest of the story. Xan and Krishna kindof go hand in hand. I can't wait for the next chapter. -----signature----- 'No one is totally worthless. They can just serve as a bad example.'---Something often said by my dad.
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Alexis_Wingstar Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 1/24 8:35pm Subject: RE: "Dark Child" AU, Xanatos, OC's, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, PART 12 "Negotiation" 1/25/08
	That was pretty good how Krishna fooled Isca Dolomine. I agree with 1Yodimus_Prime. This should remain Krish's story. After all, the title of the fic is "Dark Child", not "Dark Children". -----signature----- "Change. It can be good. It can be bad. It can be expected or come as a thief in the night. Invited or not, it always comes." ~Koria "Tender Shadows", co-written w/ The Musical Jedi Padawan to DarthIshtar NaNoWriMo participant 2nd year in a row.
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