Jedi Council Forums - A Heart Darkened

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Author	Topic: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette
anakin_luver Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 12/30/07 1:41pm Subject: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette - Date Edited: 12/30/07 1:44pm (1 edits total) Edited By: anakin_luver
	Title: A Heart Darkened Author: anakin_luver Timeframe: ROTS AU Notes: Just a short little vig about an idea that came to me. Everything's yours George. His breath rose in front of him. Even the black of his robes could not shield him from the few wandering eyes. Not even the black from the planet’s darkest alleyways could allow him to disappear now. The silver weapon was clenched in his hand. Just how much pain would have been saved if he were never granted this weapon? The wind screamed in his face. His lips parched. His eyes drained. He grasped his hood against the wind, but to no avail. The hood flew backwards, choking him. He turned sharply. There was no one there. His breath escaped him painfully. What was he running from? The ones that hated him were all dead. The images raced in front of him and the pit of his stomach began to ache. His knees hit the ground, while his hand clenched his abdomen. He still grasped the weapon in his other hand. He leaned back against the wall of an abandoned building and wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve. He had never been right. He looked down at the silver weapon. And with one swift movement, smashed it against the wall beside him. There would be no use for it now. He then stared at his mechanical hand. Fake. All of it was fake. He grabbed it, and tried to rip it off of his arm. He smashed it against the wall, against the ground. He tried to break it with his bare hands, tried to claw through it and destroy it. Then he stopped. Held his head with the mechanical hand and listened to his heart racing. It wasn’t the hand that needed to be destroyed. He breathed in roughly. He couldn’t stay here. He would find him. The Sith. He stood from his place against the wall. He had to see her. One last time. ::: He leaned against the wall and silently watched her through the window. She was worried. He could sense it. She cradled her stomach and watched the smoke rise on the horizon. His eyes shut against the wind. If tears would come, he would have cried. He turned and wrapped his black robes around him tightly. Maybe one day they would understand.
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snowspeeder_gunner Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 12/30/07 2:02pm Subject: RE: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette
	Great start! I really like the imagery you have going on here- Anakin is obviously very upset. Only thing I'm a little confused on is the timeframe(aka, is this before or after order 66? I think it is- not sure though) I'm betting that I will find out though! Keep up the good work, and could I be on the PM list please? -----signature----- haha! it's like the stars are my icon!
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KELIA Title: The Pretty in Pink Fan Fic Manager Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 12/30/07 2:19pm Subject: RE: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette
	He had to see her. One last time. It didn't have to be the last time, Ani! Very sad, but very well written -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 NaNaWriMo Progress: 11,018
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Alley_Skywalker Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 12/30/07 2:42pm Subject: RE: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette
	What I love about your writing the most, Crystal, is that it is so poignant. This is so short and simple and yet at the same time so heartbreaking and powerful. Love it! Can’t wait for that full length fic -----signature----- Knight of the Fanfic Order (trained by oqidaun) Master to CodyMonKenobi & mujapple-juicey Proud Obi/Ani shipper! Facades: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24152038/p1 Class of '09 forever!!!
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iLoveAnakin7 Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 12/30/07 6:19pm Subject: RE: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette
	Wow, that was so depressing -- but it a GOOD way. Excellent! and yes, please continue with the full-length fic
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Princess_Elisabeth Registered: Mar '06	Date Posted: 12/31/07 1:36am Subject: RE: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette
	First reply since moths My oh My, that was amazing... heartbreaking and sad... very moving... I loved every moment of it; Anakin's feelings just radiate from the words you've written... I'm glad you wrote this my friend, and I can't wait to see if you're continuing this as a full length fic. If you do, I'll be there! Thnx for the pm! -----signature----- Coming back to The Boards!! -> fics in Bio
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anakin_luver Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/1/08 5:03pm Subject: RE: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette
	snowspeeder_gunner: it takes place right after Order 66. and i'm really sorry. this was just a vignette so i don't think i'll be making this a longer fic, but i'm hoping to write a longer fic with the same kind of tone and atmosphere hopefully sometime in the near future. thanks so much for your reply. KELIA: thank you. Alley_Skywalker: thanks Alley! and the full length fic was actually not for this story. i just meant i wanted feedback so i knew that this kind of tone and atmosphere would work for my other fic iLoveAnakin7: thanks Dee! and i think i screwed up with my wording in the PM lol, cause Alley and Lis thought the same thing, so i'll just copy my reply. the full length fic was actually not for this story. i just meant i wanted feedback so i knew that this kind of tone and atmosphere would work for my other fic Princess_Elisabeth: thanks Lis! and i'l copy my reply for Dee and Alley. the full length fic was actually not for this story. i just meant i wanted feedback so i knew that this kind of tone and atmosphere would work for my other fic
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Gina Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 1/2/08 8:21am Subject: RE: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette
	That was heartbreaking. But beautifully done! -----signature----- A long time ago in a house far away, there was a mother who was strong in the ways of the Force. She "forced" her sons to clean their room, she "forced" her sons to behave. - Part of a story written by my 9 yr. old sons I found while cleaning their desks
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delta-7starfighter Registered: Nov '05	Date Posted: 1/2/08 1:10pm Subject: RE: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette
	aw, really sad now i'm gonna have to go cut my wrists or something ha jk. great job! looking forward to that epic fic! -----signature----- "He was a telephone man who fell in love with long distances." - The Glass Menagerie
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ROTSFan Registered: Jul '06	Date Posted: 1/3/08 7:24am Subject: RE: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette
	Interesting. PM if continued? -----signature----- Fics in profile; ask me to unlock ~I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I hoped it would be." - Office Space
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anakin_luver Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/5/08 4:01pm Subject: RE: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette
	Gina: thank you. delta-7starfighter: ahha! very funny thanks Maddie! ROTSFan: no, sorry. this particular story is just a viggie. but i'm planning on writing a longer fic on another story soon.
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Meredith_Kenobi Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/6/08 9:19pm Subject: RE: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette
	The emotion in this was so raw and defined. It sent shivers down my spine. It was dark, and Anakin's emotions were dark, but he's also feeling some regret and he's struggling with it. Yet he still does what he thinks must be done. So he's doing bad things, but he's doing them for a purpose and in his heart he's convincing himself that it's justified. Wonderful wriitng: a very poignant viggie. -----signature----- Proud to be ZaraValinor's Padawan Delighted to be brodiew's Master
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AnakinLuver Registered: Feb '06	Date Posted: 1/9/08 6:27pm Subject: RE: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette
	Do I love this or what? Can't wait for the next update!!! Luv ya Rachel -----signature----- e-sister to Dee and Crystal and Alley! Star Wars, Twilight, and Superheros - Trio of my Life Proud Cheesehead & Movie Fanatic** Edward: "Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away."
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anakin_luver Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/19/08 11:13am Subject: RE: A Heart Darkened - ROTS/AU Vignette
	Meredith_Kenobi: thanks so much for your reply! i think you summed it up perfectly AnakinLuver: thanks Rachel! but unfortunately this is only a viggie. i'll hopefully be starting a new fic sometime in the future with the same sort of tone
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