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Author	Topic: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
Meredith_Kenobi Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/11/08 8:32pm Subject: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge) - Date Edited: 1/11/08 8:34pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Meredith_Kenobi
	I wrote this for Essential OC Challenge, which is as follows: ...let your OC face a seemingly impossible task that then is solved by tricky thinking. This fic was inspired by a very strange, and realistic dream that I had. It kept nagging at the back of my mind, bothering me. So I wrote it down, and this is what I came up with. It looks really long, but it's a quick read as it's mostly dialogue. Thanks for reading, friend, I really appreciate it. ~!~ Lyssophobia: The fear of going insane. ~!~ Date: /12/42/3 ABY/, 1203 hours Trial #6031M, Coruscant Crime Courtroom Media type: Sound Recording “My name is Obert Rime and I’m not insane.” “Please tell the court what you mean by that, Mr. Rime. Aren’t you, in fact, pleading ‘not guilty by reason of insanity’?” “Yes, Sir. But I thought I wasn’t supposed to lie on the stand.” Sounds of general disorder “Order! Order! I will have order!” static ~!~ “Obert, sweetheart, could you please drop this package off at Mrs. Renksnout’s? Her children all have the Bantha Pox again, so I mixed up some of my special herbal lotion.” Obert took the package from his mother’s hands with a dissatisfied frown. “What difference does it make? They’re Gamorreans. They’re always warty. That nasty brood of kids doesn’t deserve—” The slap across his face took him completely by surprise and his eyes welled with startled tears. He wiped them away angrily. His mother was a hard-working woman and it showed. Her hands were rough and calloused. Her face rarely showed anything but the deep tiredness that had settled on her soul the day her husband died. Her hair was short and frizzled and her face was nothing to look at: she had buggy eyes and a wide nose. The only good thing about her appearance was her slim, well-shaped figure. “Obert Rime!” Right now her tired face had taken on a new energy, but it was an energy brought on by anger. “I don’t ever want to hear you saying anything like that again. The Renksnout’s are wonderful people. They have kind hearts and intelligent minds. They are as good of people as we are, maybe even better.” “Better?” Obert couldn’t help but scoff. “They’re not human.” Mrs. Rime shook her head. The anger that had etched her features before had melted away and was replaced by sorrow. “Your father would have been ashamed to hear you say something like that.” Obert threw the package to the ground. The bottle broke and it’s contents slowly oozed out. “Shut up!” The anger was back. She pointed her finger at the door. “Out. Get out.” Obert stomped outside, taking care to step in the spilled lotion and track it across the floor. ~!~ Date: /12/32/3 ABY/, 1032 hours Patient #70,354. Psychiatric Ward, Coruscant Mental Hospital Media type: Sound Recording “Why were you at the park that day, Obert?” “Which day?” “The same day we’ve been talking about this past hour.” “Oh, well, my cousin works there as a gardener. I go there to see her. I think that was probably why I was there.” “Do you remember what happened that day at the park, Obert?” “Yes, Sir. Mostly.” “What parts don’t you remember?” “I don’t know, Sir. I can’t remember them.” sigh “What I mean is, what places in your memory are blank or fuzzy?” “The parts I can’t remember.” “Y…es. I know that already.” “Good. Can I go now?” chair scraping on floor “No, I’ve still got a few more questions. Please sit back down.” chair scraping on the floor “Thank you. Now, what happened at the park that day, Obert?” static ~!~ Obert stalked along with his shoulders slumped and his hands stuffed in his pants pockets. It was easy for him to spot his cousin, Syrra. She was the only gardener on the whole of Coruscant who had an aurra of coolness about her. She always wore tons of red lipstick and black eye makeup. She never dressed in colors, either. It was always blacks, greys, and whites. She always had such a surety about her that Obert envied. She was so self-confident. He envied her for that. “Hey.” He spotted her crouching over a clump of fluffy pink flowers. She turned around. “What’s up?” Obert walked up beside her. “Nothing much.” “You’re early. You always come during my lunch break.” Obert shifted uncomfortably. “Something came up. And anyway, I just felt like seeing you.” He pointed. “What kind of flowers are those?” She shrugged. “I dunno. I was just told to get ‘em in the ground before lunch. I think they’re Ithorian. Whatever they are, apparently they’re too fragile for the droids to handle.” “Need some help?” “Sure, just don’t let the boss see you. I got in a lot of trouble last time I paid a couple of 10-year olds to stand in for me.” She scooted over and made a place for him amongst the un-planted flowers. Obert got down on his knees beside her. “He didn’t fire you?” “Obviously not, I’m here aren’t I?” Syrra smiled seductively. “And besides, he thinks I’m cute.” She watched him as he picked up a trowel. “So, what happened today? Why are you early? Did you have a Bad Obert moment?” Obert grunted. “You don’t remember what happened, do you?” Obert grunted again. Syrra put an arm around his shoulders. “Man, I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to end up like my mother.” Obert pulled away from her. “Don’t say that. I’m not like your mom. Everybody gets angry. Why does everyone always make such a big deal about it when I do?” “Sure, everybody gets angry, but they also remember it afterwards. With you, it’s like your anger takes over your mind and controls you. It’s like you become a different person. Good Obert, Bad Obert. Am I right? Obert jabbed the trowel into the ground and didn’t answer. “My mom wasn’t always like she is now, you know.” Syrra reminded him. “She started out like you.” Obert jumped to his feet and threw his trowel down. “I’m not like your kriffing mom!” He stormed off, pulling the hood of his shirt over his head. “Obert, come back! I didn’t mean—” Syrra stood to follow him, but changed her mind. When Obert got angry there was no reasoning with him. “Dammit.” ~!~ Date: /11/32/3 ABY/, 1044 hours Patient #70,354. Psychiatric Ward, Coruscant Mental Hospital Media type: Sound Recording “What did she mean by that? Good Obert and Bad Obert?” “Oh, well, that’s what she calls me. Either Good or Bad Obert. ‘Cause sometimes I’m…well, I’m really bad and I don’t know why. I can’t help it.” “Bad as in, you hurt people?” “…” “Obert?” “I hit my mom once. Really bad. She fell and broke her arm. And the next day I didn’t even…” silence “Obert?” “I didn’t even remember it. I asked her what happened to her arm and she started crying. Then she hugged me. It was a weird hug, like one of those hugs you give to a dying person. She wouldn’t let me go.” “Why do you think she did that?” “She thought I might have the Rime insanity gene.” “What’s that, Obert?” “Doesn’t it say in my file? You’ve got it sitting right in front of you.” papers rustle “What’s the Rime insanity gene, Obert?” “You’re a real jerk, you know that?” “It’s part of the therapy.” “I thought this was a psych exam?” “Please, just answer the question.” “I hate you.” static ~!~ “Obert!” Obert looked up as Syrra approached. She was wiping dirt off of her hands onto her pants. “Hey, Syrra. I got you a caf.” “Thanks.” She sat down beside him on the park bench, and accepted the proffered caf. “Listen—” Obert cut her off with a raised hand. “No, you listen. Growing up I watched my dad go from this great, happy guy to a raving lunatic. This was, of course, before he committed suicide.” “I—“ “I know, your mom’s going through the same thing my dad did. I know.” Obert sighed and took a sip of his caf. “Syrra? Do you ever wonder if it’s gonna happen to you? When it’s gonna sneak up on you?” “Only every minute. Sure, I’m normal now, but my time could come.” “It scares me. It scares me to death. Syrra—” Obert took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. “—Syrra, I think I have it. I think I have the crazy gene.” Syrra didn’t deny it. Instead she wrapped her arm around her younger cousin and held him tight. His shoulders shook and she heard him sniffle. “We’ll get through this, brother.” ~!~ Date: /12/42/3 ABY/, 1141 hours Trial #6031M, Coruscant Crime Courtroom Media type: Sound Recording “Dr. Bobb Dri’Ren took a psych test of my client, Mr. Obert Rime. He is a trained psychiatrist, and is fully qualified to tell us whether Mr. Rime is in fact insane. Is what I say correct, Dr. Dri’Ren?” “Yes, it is.” “You studied Mr. Rime’s family history as well, correct?” “Yes, I did.” “Tell us about that.” “Objection! Relevance?” “Studies have shown that insanity can be passed down from generation to generation, Your Honor. My client’s history supports these claims.” “I’ll allow it. Dr. Dri’Ren, answer the question.” “Mr. Rimes family has a very interesting background. For the past four generations, on Obert Rime’s father’s side, 75% of the beings of his direct bloodline have been admitted into mental institutions; but as of 92 years prior, only 2% had been.” “And what caused that up rise, Doctor?” “Inter-species breeding. Ri’ina Kila Rime, Obert Rime’s great-great grandmother, was a Twi’Lek. I checked, and it seems she was perfectly sane. Something must have gone wrong. With the mixing of the two species, Twi’Lek and human, a gene must have mutated. The results have been…disastrous.” static ~!~ When they finished their caf, they decided to take a stroll of the park. It was one of the only parks on Coruscant. It was an oasis of greenery and life among the cold, dead towers that covered the planet’s surface. “Obert?” “Hm?” “Would you mind if we tried something?” Obert looked at Syrra from the corner of his eye. “What if I try to make you angry.” He snorted. “What if?” “No, really, hear me out. This is a really smart idea, it might work.” “Fine. What?” “What if I try to make you angry and you try to not get angry. Try to curb that animal instinct inside of you that makes you lose control.” “And….what would this accomplish?” “The problem with my mom is that she can’t control anything. She can’t control what she does, what she says. She can’t even control her own thoughts. It’s like a living nightmare for her.” “You’re not saying anything I don’t know already.” “I know, I know,” Syrra assured him. “But I think you’re, um….I think this anger thing is how yours is starting. If we can curb it now, nip it in the bud, get you to control your anger, you might never—“ “Go insane?” “I was going to say ‘get worse’.” “Yeah, well, they’re the same thing, aren’t they?” “Maybe so.” “So do you wanna try it?” Obert thought about it. Finally he shrugged. “It’s worth a shot, I guess.” ~!~ Date: /12/30/3 ABY/, 0823 hours CONCERNING Patient #70,354. Psychiatric Ward, Coruscant Mental Hospital Media type: Sound Recording “Did you know what would happen when you came up with this idea, Syrra?” “Of course I didn’t know, you crackpot! You think I would’ve done it if I knew what would happen? I didn’t mean for anybody to get hurt. I was just trying to help my little cousin out. It was such a stupid idea. Force! I wish I could take it back.” ~!~ Obert stared at Syrra. “So?” “What?” “When are you gonna try to make me angry?” “Oh, I dunno, maybe it’s not such a great idea.” Syrra stopped to stretch her legs on a park bench. “Maybe we’ll do it some other time.” “Oh.” They started walking again. “Obert, what do you think happens to people when they die?” Obert shrugged. “How would I know?” “I’m not asking you what you know; I’m asking you what you think.” “Okay, well, I think they just sort of disappear. I dunno where. Maybe they’re just gone forever, and that’s why we’re so scared of dying.” “I don’t think that’s what happens.” “Do tell.” “You know those Jedi people?” “Sure, I’ve read about them.” “Well, they believed in this thing called the Force. The Force is in everything: living things, dying things. I think that when people die, they become a larger part of the Force.” Syrra gestured around them. “There’s a little bit of everyone—all the dead people—in those trees, and those flowers.” “That’s kind of creepy, Syrra.” “Maybe a little.” “So….you think my dad’s watching me?” Syrra looked at him sideways. They walked in silence for a little. “Do you think he would be proud of me?” Obert said at last. Syrra didn’t answer. “Syrra?” She stopped walking. “I think that would depend.” Obert stopped too. “On what?” “I remember your dad. He was a great guy, my favorite uncle. You’re a good kid too, Obert, I jus don’t…I don’t think your dad would approve.” Obert just stared at her. He looked hurt. “Your dad was an alien sympathizer, you know that. But you: you hate everything having to do with non-humans. I think he would be very disappointed in you for that.” Obert’s eyes flashed. “You did not just say that.” Syrra shrugged apologetically. “You wanna know why I hate aliens? You wanna know why?” Obert took a step toward his cousin. His fists were balled. “If our great-great grandfather hadn’t fallen in love with that scum of a Twi’Lek woman, I would still have a dad!” “Calm down, okay?” Syrra smiled at him. “I was trying to make you angry. Unfortunately, it worked a little too well. I’m sorry about what I said, I didn’t mean it.” Something snapped in the back of Obert’s mind. He shoved Syrra with all of his might. She fell to the grass, gasping but uninjured. “Yes you did, you meant every word.” Obert ran off. Syrra jumped to her feet and ran after him, but she was too slow. She heard the blaster shot and the screams and they chilled her heart. ~!~ Date: /12/42/3 ABY/, 1407 hours Trial #6031M, Coruscant Crime Courtroom Media type: Sound Recording “Syrra Rime, tell the jury what you saw that day.” “I, um, I saw blood. That was the first thing I saw.” “Blood. What else did you see, Ms. Rime?” “A body. It was dead. It had been a Twi’Lek woman. And I saw—I saw—” sobbing “Take your time.” “—I saw Obert. He was standing over the body. He looked, um, distant. Vacant. When I looked in his eyes it was like there was no one there. It was like he was dead too. Then he saw me and started running again.” ~!~ Obert stared down at his comlink. There was no one else around. His clothes were covered in blood. His hands were shaking. His legs ached and shook; they barely supported him and felt like they had been running for a long, long time without rest. The worst part was, he had no idea where he was or how he had gotten there. It looked like some kind of landing pad. There were a few outdated, clunky freighters lying about. It was getting dark out. He finally plucked up enough courage and dialed the last comm numbers. “Mom?” “Obert?” Then he heard voices. A couple of law enforcement officers were running toward him. One of them was talking into a comlink. There was a girl running behind them, but she was to far away for him to see her face. An animalistic instinct kicked in, and he panicked. He dropped his comlink. He tried to run but his legs failed him and he collapsed. “Obert!” Syrra. He heard her talking to the police, begging them to let her go talk to him first. He sensed her crouching down beside him. He kept his eyes closed. “Obert, look at me! Open your eyes! Oh, Force, Obert, what have you done? What have I done? Open your eyes! Look at me! Please, look at me!” ~!~ Date: /12/44/3 ABY/, 1120 hours Trial #6031M, Coruscant Crime Courtroom Media type: Sound Recording “Have you reached a verdict?” “We have, Your Honor. We find the defendant not guilty of the murder of Lyna Powell by reason of insanity.” “Very well. Obert Rime will be admitted into a high-security mental hospital until he is found to be sane and not a danger to himself and others. Court dismissed.” “NO! I won’t go! Not there! Syrra!” “Order! What is this? Have him detained.” “Syrra!” “Obert, I’m here!” “Syrra, it worked! I’m not insane! I can control it now! I remember!” “Have that boy removed from this court room! Now! I will not stand for shouting!” “It worked! Thank you, Syrra!” clattering “Thank you Syrra!” “Obert! No, don’t take him—! Obert...” sobbing static ~!~ finis. ~!~ -----signature----- Proud to be ZaraValinor's Padawan Delighted to be brodiew's Master
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moosemousse Title: CR - FF:UK South Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 1/12/08 6:10am Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
	That was really good. I like the way you mixed court records(?) with events. I had to look up lyssophobia though. -----signature----- Vader's Mousedroid Society Fanfic links in my bio My fan art: http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/26961879/ Bei der Instalation ältere Versionen aktualisiert # Boards: -1 \| # Messages: -1 (-1 today)
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BrentusofGath Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 1/12/08 10:54pm Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
	"Order! Order! I will have order!" I'll have a ham and swiss on whole wheat toast. she had buggy eyes and a wide nose. Well, if she was a Rodian, she'd be gorgeous... I suppose. They have kind hearts and intelligent minds. Wait, we're talking about Gamorreans here? "Of course I didn't know, you crackpot! LOL! "-I saw Obert. He was standing over the body. He looked, um, distant. Vacant. When I looked in his eyes it was like there was no one there. It was like he was dead too. Then he saw me and started running again." "But did you actually see your cousin fire the shot?" would be my question. "It worked! Thank you, Syrra!" clattering* "Thank you Syrra!"* Well, now all he has to do is take a couple of weeks and prove to the nuthouse docs that he's cured and out he comes. And then he has to teach his cousin to be able to do it too... or else. Great viggie! -----signature----- In time or so I'm told, I'm just another soul for sale, oh well Feel it in my bones when you break my back, break it just to watch me bend Why'd you have to go and Let it Die? -Foo Fighters http://conscienceoftheking.blogspot.com/
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yodas_waiter Registered: Oct '06	Date Posted: 1/13/08 9:36am Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
	That was a great vig. I really liked the broken narrative and the impossible problem was delightfully original! Well done! -----signature----- Padawan to Sionnach-Airgid Author of Chyler databank entry Nominated Best New Author in Before the Saga 06/07 The Enforcer (SW Super-hero tribute): http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28028864/p1/?2
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Golden_Jedi Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 1/13/08 11:54am Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
	Intriguing title + powerful writing... Excellent story! -----signature----- New Bespin Café - come visit THE place for H/L fans http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/29538471 Diving (a H/L intertrilogy AU) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27836852
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Jade_Pilot Registered: Dec '05	Date Posted: 1/13/08 3:51pm Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
	What an excellent story! Great mixing of the scenes and extremely creative! Bravo! -----signature----- BOO!
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Meredith_Kenobi Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/14/08 6:33pm Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge) - Date Edited: 1/14/08 6:34pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Meredith_Kenobi
	moosemousse: Well, I did provide a definition. Thanks so much for reviewing, moosemousse! I'm glad you liked it. BrentusofGath: snork Always the witty one, aren't you? Thanks for your review, I never know what you're gonna say! yodas_waiter: Thank you very much, yodas_waiter. "Delightfully original"? I couldn't ask for a better compliment. Golden_Jedi: I'm so glad you liked the title! It took me ages to come up with something that worked well with this fic. Thank you for reading, Golden_Jedi! I appreciate it. Jade_Pilot: I'm honoured you thought so, Jade_Pilot. That means a lot to me, coming form you. Thanks so much. -----signature----- Proud to be ZaraValinor's Padawan Delighted to be brodiew's Master
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ZaraValinor Registered: May '02	Date Posted: 1/14/08 9:04pm Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
	Okay, these last two fics I've read have definitely showed a devious side to you my apprentice. I love it. -----signature----- Proud Master to Meredith_Kenobi & Lolly_Tolly "He full-on Obi-Wan'd me!" Dean Winchester - Supernatural
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MsLanna Title: CR GSFF Central = Offizieller Burger Brater Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/20/08 7:16am Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
	This is a great story! Very intense and the unusual format fits it perfectly. I don't know what to say, this is just so good. -----signature----- "You will kill yourself trying to live up to their expectations." "That's okay for me." Cuyir adate jate, bal droten ori'dush Proud Master and buir'ika of Commander_Ducky. My New Title: Lords and Ladies of the Empire
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Ben_Watson Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 1/21/08 5:55pm Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
	Well that was longer than I expected, but it was WELL worth it. Thanks for giving me the link to this, it was a lot of fun to read. -----signature----- It's never about making what the people like. It's about making what the people love. - Joss Whedon "Some people are just more comfortable in Hell..." Tony Almeida
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Meredith_Kenobi Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/25/08 4:48pm Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
	ZaraValinor: Glad you approve, Master. MsLanna: Thanks very much, MsLanna! It's good to hear that you liked the format; I was a little worried it would be confusing. rolls eyes at self Ben_Watson: Thanks for reading, Ben_W! Yeah, it's a little long. I thought about breaking it up into two posts, but that would really just be psychological trickery to make it seem shorter, as the two posts would be shorter than this one. In reality it would be exactly the same length. You wouldn't want me to trick you, now would you? -----signature----- Proud to be ZaraValinor's Padawan Delighted to be brodiew's Master
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Onoto Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 1/25/08 6:19pm Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
	Wow. That was absolutely terrifying. I love the way you used the court records and such, it was extremely well crafted. Wow. An untrustworthy mind is my worst nightmare, and this fic is the reason why. Wow. That, my friend, was a marvelous bit of writing. -----signature----- A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. ~Paul Erdos
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Thumper09 Registered: Dec '01	Date Posted: 1/27/08 4:19pm Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
	Excellent writing, Meredith. It was chilling to follow Obert as he dealt with his fear of losing control of his mind and the seeming inevitability of it. It was good to see his reasoning of why he hated nonhumans so much, and I thought it was very believable for him. I liked seeing Syrra being understanding and trying to help her cousin, and I felt really bad when her tricky thinking idea backfired and the Twi'lek woman was killed. Plus Obert's "waking up" and not knowing what was going on or what he had done... shudder Like others have mentioned, I thought the format worked well for this story. Great job with this! -Thumper -----signature----- "Like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method." -Karen Eiffel, _Stranger Than Fiction_ "Adamantine"--Rebel OC vig http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/30390799
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Jade_Max Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 1/28/08 3:33am Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
	.... .... Wow. That was just.... just wow.... -----signature----- You'll Like me when I'm Dead - V/P Dark Drama - http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/29236355 Don't think, write. And have faith that your subconscious mind is smarter than you.- lazy RIP my babies; Nibbler, Boo & Mister Magoo
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Commander-DWH Title: Shiny Fan Fiction Manager Registered: Nov '03	Date Posted: 2/1/08 12:09am Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
	I'll echo everyone else here and throw in my own WOW. That was one intense and awesome piece of writing, there. The blending of the court records and the narrative was excellent, the story was fascinating... yeah, it was pretty much all around fantastic. -----signature----- Complements (KOTOR)- http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/21177927/ Luminosity- http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27900517/ Barefoot hippie in the OC revolution Master of the lovely and talented SoA
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OmonD'Narde Registered: Oct '99	Date Posted: 2/1/08 12:35am Subject: RE: -Lyssophobia- (written for the Essential OC challenge)
	I enjoyed it very much. Nice concept and interesting characters. The dialogue was very natural and well written. Bravo. -----signature----- Heirs of the Force: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27837690/p1/?6 Tears of the Fallen: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27833296/p1/?6 Hatred, Pain and Suffering: Vader's Strength http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/
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