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Author	Topic: Everybody Lies- House, M.D. X-Over- Humor/Drama- Update 6-30
LilyHobbitJedi Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 1/30/08 3:01pm Subject: Everybody Lies- House, M.D. X-Over- Humor/Drama- Update 6-30 - Date Edited: 6/30 7:45pm (19 edits total) Edited By: LilyHobbitJedi
	Title: Everybody Lies Author: LilyHobbitJedi Timeframe: 2 years before AOTC Characters: House, Wilson, Cuddy, Obi-Wan, Anakin Genre: Humor/Drama Crossover with House, M.D. Summary: A brilliant doctor with an abrasive personality solves various medical mysteries, and deals with various patients in the clinic. Notes: Ok, so I’ve recently become very addicted to the show House and I wanted to write a House fanfic. I happened to be writing a SW story at the time, when the thought occurred to me to write a GFFA version of House. This story is the result. You don’t need to have seen the show to read this, and if you have seen House you will notice that I’ve altered a certain House speech in this chapter. I also altered some of the names of characters to make them sound more like SW. I hope you like this! Disclaimer: House, M.D. is owned by David Shore and Star Wars by George Lucas. I happen to be neither of them. Everybody Lies Chapter 1 Dr. Gregg House limped through the hallways of the Prince Plains Med Center in Corellia, not really paying attention to anyone or anything. He was a doctor on a mission, and for the most part everyone stayed well out of his way. He was a doctor, and generally that would mean that he was supposed to care about all his patients. But the truth was he didn’t. Dr. House was a very tall human with graying brown hair, piercing blue eyes and who walked with a cane. Many years ago he had a blood clot in his thigh that went undiagnosed, and because of that his muscle died. Unfortunately for House, not even bacta could cure his never ending pain. Because of this he took was addicted to a strong narcotic drug that eased the worst of his pain. “House,” said Dr. Lisa Cuddy approaching him with a frown. House turned abruptly and entered the turbolift. Cuddy was his boss, and that meant that House wanted to talk to her as seldom as possible. Unfortunately she caught up with him and entered the turbolift before it closed. “This isn’t hide and seek,” she muttered while glaring at him. “Really?” House asked surprised. “I was winning by the way.” “I don’t want to play your games,” Cuddy replied. “Too bad for you,” House answered with a grin. “You are going to the clinic. Now,” she replied. “But my leg hurts,” House complained in a childish voice. “I don’t care,” she said rolling her eyes. The turbolift doors opened and Cuddy exited, but not before turning and saying one last thing. “Clinic.” “Slave driver,” House muttered under his breath as he walked down towards the walk in clinic. House hated working in the clinic. It was free so anybody was allowed to walk through those doors, and he loathed it. If it wasn’t the whiny kids and hypochondriacs getting on his nerves, then it was the druggies and beings who came in with symptoms a two year old could diagnose. The worst part of it all was the complete unending monotony of it all. When House wasn’t being subjected to the clinic, he was heading up the med center’s diagnostics department. He was an incredibly inquisitive doctor who was fascinated by the strangest of symptoms. He made it a study to take on all the cases that no other doctor could solve. It was a big galaxy out there and House was the best in his field. This is exactly why House looked at the full waiting room in front of him with a great deal of annoyance. Suddenly, he got an idea. “Hello sick beings and their loved ones. In the interest of saving time and a lot of boring chit chat later, I’m Dr. Gregg House. You can call me Gregg. I’m one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning—” Cuddy hearing his speech quickly interrupted him. “Short, sweet. Grab a file.” House ignored her and continued speaking.“This ray of sunshine is Dr. Lisa Cuddy. Dr. Cuddy runs this whole hospital so, unfortunately, she’s much too busy to deal with you. I am a bored,” House paused and sent a meaningful glance towards Cuddy. “Certified diagnostician with a triple specialty in infectious diseases, humans and non-humans. I’m also the only doctor currently employed at this clinic who is here against his will. That is true, isn’t it?” House glanced at Cuddy again, who just stared at him. “But not to worry, because for most of you this job could be done by a Gungan with a bottle of bacta. Speaking of which, if you’re particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this,” House paused and pulled a hypo out of his pocket. “This is Vicona. It’s mine. You can’t have any. And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem. But who knows? Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m too stoned to tell,” at this House bugged his eyes out, freaking out the patients even more. “ So, who wants me?” House asked. And just as he expected, every single patient in the room averted their eyes. He grinned. “And who would rather wait for one of the other two doctors?” He asked. This time every being in the clinic raised their hands. House was suddenly very proud of himself. “Okay, well, I’ll be in Exam Room 1 if you change your mind,” he replied, limping away to the exam room. Hopefully nobody would come and House would have an opportunity to watch his favorite holodrama. It was shaping up to be a decent afternoon. -----signature----- Proud Master to eboneya & Alassë Eärfalas! Everybody Lies- House/SW Crossover! http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28032689/r28039379/ A Light In The Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b1047
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silverfighter Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 1/30/08 3:13pm Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama
	I love House!!! If you add another update, send me a PM please! “House,” said Dr. Lisa Cuddy approaching him with a frown. House turned abruptly and entered the turbolift. Cuddy was his boss, and that meant that House wanted to talk to her as seldom as possible. Unfortunately she caught up with him and entered the turbolift before it closed. Oh my, I can see him doing that very clearly... And the whole scene at the end. It'll be interesting seeing what type of people he will be treating in the future... ~Silverfighter -----signature----- "Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord." ~~*~~ "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
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LilyHobbitJedi Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 1/31/08 7:12am Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama- Obi-Wan/Anakin
	silverfighter:I love House!!! If you add another update, send me a PM please! Isn't House great? I would be happy to pm you. Oh my, I can see him doing that very clearly... And the whole scene at the end. It'll be interesting seeing what type of people he will be treating in the future... Thanks! I promise it will be interesting. -----signature----- Proud Master to eboneya & Alassë Eärfalas! Everybody Lies- House/SW Crossover! http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28032689/r28039379/ A Light In The Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b1047
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Nymue Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 1/31/08 10:17pm Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama- Obi-Wan/Anakin
	" ... for most of you this job could be done by a Gungan with a bottle of bacta." This line was so House, and at the same time created a great visual. A kinda scary visual, but a great one nonetheless. shudders at the thought of JarJar with a scalpel House in the GFFA ... I don't know that the Galaxy's ready for him, but I'm certainly looking forward to more! -----signature----- A proudly rebellious Harry/Hermione shipper. Because Ron/Hermione is NOTHING like Han/Leia. "Ben, trust me doesn't work for Jedi the way it does for your Uncle Han. We don't have his luck." -- Luke Skywalker, FotJ: Abyss
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KELIA Title: The Pretty in Pink Fan Fic Manager Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 2/1/08 3:50am Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama- Obi-Wan/Anakin
	Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m too stoned to tell I confess I've never seen House but I love this doctor!! And I know I'll love this fic, so please add me to the PM list Looking forward to more -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 NaNaWriMo Progress: 11,018
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LilyHobbitJedi Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 2/1/08 11:50am Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama- Obi-Wan/Anakin
	Nymue:This line was so House, and at the same time created a great visual. A kinda scary visual, but a great one nonetheless. shudders at the thought of JarJar with a scalpel That would be scary! House's original line was "A monkey with a bottle of Motrin", but I had to modify it. House in the GFFA ... I don't know that the Galaxy's ready for him, but I'm certainly looking forward to more! I don't think the galaxy would ever be ready for House. Thank you! KELIA: I confess I've never seen House but I love this doctor!! You're in for a treat then, House is definitely one of a kind. And I know I'll love this fic, so please add me to the PM list Thank you! I will be happy to add you to the list. Looking forward to more Thank you, more should be up in a couple of days. -----signature----- Proud Master to eboneya & Alassë Eärfalas! Everybody Lies- House/SW Crossover! http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28032689/r28039379/ A Light In The Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b1047
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Cole_Kenobi Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 2/1/08 7:07pm Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama- Obi-Wan/Anakin
	Loved it! Please continue soon! PM, pretty please?
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DarthBerryStraw Registered: Mar '07	Date Posted: 2/1/08 7:25pm Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama- Obi-Wan/Anakin
	I'm a huge House fan, and combining House and Star Wars has already turned out to be hilarious. Please add me to your PM list, if you wouldn't mind. -----signature----- “I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!” - ... Tara UDCS: Of All the Witty Titles http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/29095691/p1/?7
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LilyHobbitJedi Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 2/2/08 7:09am Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama- Obi-Wan/Anakin
	Cole_Kenobi:Loved it! Please continue soon! PM, pretty please? I'm so glad you liked this, I would be happy to add you to the list. DarthBerryStraw:I'm a huge House fan, and combining House and Star Wars has already turned out to be hilarious. Please add me to your PM list, if you wouldn't mind. When the idea came to mix SW and House I HAD to write it. Thank you, and I would be happy to add you to the list. -----signature----- Proud Master to eboneya & Alassë Eärfalas! Everybody Lies- House/SW Crossover! http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28032689/r28039379/ A Light In The Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b1047
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The Musical Jedi Registered: Dec '99	Date Posted: 2/2/08 9:18am Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama- Obi-Wan/Anakin
	This is fantastic! I'm a huge House fan, and you've nailed him! I have the feeling he's not going to be very impressed with the Hero with No Fear or the Negotiator. Please add me to your PM list. -----signature----- Hold your own Know your name Go your own way Mortality: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/30379374
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Laine_Snowtrekker Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 2/2/08 5:58pm Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama- Obi-Wan/Anakin
	I've recently become addicted to the show! Sign me up for this! I can't wait until he meets The Team. He and Obi-Wan are going to go at it (Obi-Wan would like Wilson more, methinks.) -----signature----- Stealth and subtlety work well, but for making lasting impressions, a blaster does just fine. -Han Room full of gold and jewels, and Dr. Daniel Jackson finds the one book. -Cam Palso's #1 Fan JO: RS1, Admiral, SC Fanfics are linked to in my bio
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LilyHobbitJedi Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 2/3/08 7:10am Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama- Obi-Wan/Anakin
	The Musical Jedi: This is fantastic! I'm a huge House fan, and you've nailed him! I have the feeling he's not going to be very impressed with the Hero with No Fear or the Negotiator. Please add me to your PM list. Thank you, isn't House wonderful? No, House definitely won't be impressed with anyone, especially a Jedi. I would be happy to add you to the list. Laine_Snowtrekker:I've recently become addicted to the show! I blame one of my friends for my new addiction, because I think I love the show more than she does now. Sign me up for this! I would be happy to. I can't wait until he meets The Team. He and Obi-Wan are going to go at it (Obi-Wan would like Wilson more, methinks.) I think you might have a very good prediction. -----signature----- Proud Master to eboneya & Alassë Eärfalas! Everybody Lies- House/SW Crossover! http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28032689/r28039379/ A Light In The Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b1047
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LilyHobbitJedi Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 2/3/08 7:14am Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama- Obi-Wan/Anakin - Date Edited: 2/3/08 7:16am (2 edits total) Edited By: LilyHobbitJedi
	Title: Everybody Lies Author: LilyHobbitJedi Timeframe: 2 years before AOTC Characters: House, Wilson, Cuddy, Obi-Wan, Anakin Genre: Humor/Drama Crossover with House, M.D. Summary: A brilliant doctor with an abrasive personality solves various medical mysteries, and deals with various patients in the clinic. Notes: Alright, seeing as there is an episode of House tonight after the Super Bowl, I've decided to go ahead and post the next chapter. This time House gets to enjoy the wonders of clinic duty! Here's the PM List. Let me know if you want to be added or removed and I'll be happy to oblige. silverfighter KELIA Cole_Kenobi DarthBerryStraw The Musical Jedi Laine_Snowtrekker Everybody Lies Chapter 2 Unfortunately House’s glee was short lived, for a human man walked in a moment later, passing House a datacard that held his medical information. House sighed and used his hypo of Vicona and glanced at his patient without even looking at the chart. “What’s wrong with you?” “I can’t stop coughing,” the man answered. “My throat hurts, and I have a headache. Do you think it’s contagious?” “Well if it is, then it’s pretty rude of you to come here and infect everyone.” “But I,” the man protested. “I really don’t care,” House responded quickly writing down a prescription on a flimsy and handing it to him. “Balmorra flu,” House said. “Take this twice a day and you’re cured. Now go away.” The man took it and smiled. “Thanks doctor!” “Whatever,” House replied sarcastically while turning on his handheld vidscreen. His holodrama started and House was really getting into it when he heard a loud “Ahem.” He looked up and glared at the Twi’lek who had obviously just entered the room. “Do you mind?” House said. “Yes,” the Twi’lek said. “Something’s wrong with me.” “Something’s wrong with me too, but I’m not bothering others.” House retorted. The twi-lek gasped in shock and glared at House. “You’re addicted to spice. Ryll, to be exact,” House pointed out. “I’m not addicted to spice!” the Twi’lek cried. “I’ve never even tried it before.” “Your eyes are dilated, your fingers are twitching, and you are paranoid. Not to mention the fact that you are a Twi’lek and most of them come from Ryloth, the primary producer of Ryll.” “I haven’t taken any!” his patient cried. “You see I don’t believe you,” House replied casually. “It’s a proven fact that everybody lies.” “There must be another explanation,” the Twi’lek declared. “Well your wife must be cheating on you. She doesn’t want to deal with you anymore so she’s giving you spice so you would be too high to notice. I would prepare my own food and drink from now on if I were you.” House explained. “How dare you!” the Twi-lek cried. “I’ve never been so insulted!” “Than you’re obviously hard of hearing.” And with that he stormed out of the exam room, leaving a very amused House in his wake. Moments later Cuddy burst into the door. “What did you say?” She demanded. “All I did was tell him the truth,” House said in defense. “Not my fault he can’t handle it.” Cuddy let out an exasperated sigh and left, her heels clicking as she went. House massaged his thigh and looked at his chrono. “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2—” “He’s suing you,” Cuddy snapped as she entered the room again. “I sure hope you’re happy.” “Is this a trick question?” House asked curiously. “Because I thought I was in the clinic, the place of perpetual doom.” “Very funny,” Cuddy replied. “I really should fire you.” “You can’t afford to lose me,” House answered with a grin. “Oh, you wait.” Cuddy said, before stepping aside as House’s next patient entered the room. She closed the door behind her. House took a look at the young woman. “What’s wrong?” “I keep getting sick all the time, and my joints have been feeling all loose,” the lady answered. House looked at her, bored. “You have a parasite,” he declared. “Like a worm or something?” the lady asked worriedly. “Lie back and lift up your tunic,” House said. As she did so, House pulled over a piece of equipment and turned it on. “Can you do anything about it?” the woman asked. “Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of systems,” House replied. “Illegal?” “Don’t worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange play dates with other parasites,” House said as he scanned her abdomen with part of the machine. “Play dates…” the woman repeated, confused. At this House turned the vidscreen attached to his ultrasound machine around. It showed something moving inside her abdomen. “It has your eyes,” he said and smiled at the woman’s obvious shock. -----signature----- Proud Master to eboneya & Alassë Eärfalas! Everybody Lies- House/SW Crossover! http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28032689/r28039379/ A Light In The Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b1047
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Laine_Snowtrekker Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 2/3/08 8:34am Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama- Obi-Wan/Anakin- Update 2-3
	Awesome! You made the Orange Guy a Twi'lek! -----signature----- Stealth and subtlety work well, but for making lasting impressions, a blaster does just fine. -Han Room full of gold and jewels, and Dr. Daniel Jackson finds the one book. -Cam Palso's #1 Fan JO: RS1, Admiral, SC Fanfics are linked to in my bio
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The Musical Jedi Registered: Dec '99	Date Posted: 2/3/08 8:45am Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama- Obi-Wan/Anakin- Update 2-3
	I love the parasite bit. It gets me every time. You would think the Galaxy Far Far Away would have enough to interest House, but apparently not. I smell political problems coming with Cuddy, House, and the Jedi. -----signature----- Hold your own Know your name Go your own way Mortality: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/30379374
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earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 2/3/08 9:45am Subject: RE: Everybody Lies- A House, M.D. Crossover- Humor/Drama- Obi-Wan/Anakin- Update 2-3
	Love that doctor House. And waiting to see Anakin tangle with him. You can put me on your PM list to please. -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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