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Author	Topic: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 7/3 Ch. 20: Effects)
VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Who Runs w/ Scissors Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 4/15 4:44am Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/15 Ch. 10: Blackouts)
	I got behind on this! So sorry! I'm loving this. Mysteries are one of my favorite kind of stories. And this is wonderful!!!! The dialogue is among the best I've read. Hands down. -----signature----- “The smaller the mind the greater the conceit” – Aesop A Light from a Window http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28625076/p1/?10
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Jedi_Eruanne Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 4/16 12:09pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/15 Ch. 10: Blackouts) - Date Edited: 4/16 12:10pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Jedi_Eruanne
	screechy voice JUDAS?? Holy CRAP! Jav has freakin' GOT to wake up before Judas does!! Ahhhh!! Playing dead? The little unintelligable muttering...at least Remy get's to go vigilante and keeeeeell him now. EDIT: Ahem...I didn't mean to poke that button... AWESOMELY-FANTASITCAL post, Nathan! Stupid Kolne...he doesn't know he's dealing with an unstable loony. Heehee... -----signature----- <><Jedi Knight For Christ><> Links to Fics in Profile---go check em out! Loyal Reader of Quiet_Mandalorian. MystralGurl's CRAZY Evil Twin (mwuhahahaha) Have you hugged your evil twin today?
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KELIA Title: Hostess: 20 Questions and Bet Your Knowledge Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 4/16 12:55pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/15 Ch. 10: Blackouts)
	WOW I'm glad Jav got away but now I'm not so sure that was a good thing. Great update -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 Undue Circumstances: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28530583/p1/?10
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Thumper09 Registered: Dec '01	Date Posted: 4/17 9:19am Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/15 Ch. 10: Blackouts)
	Woohoo, update! It was little more than the nurse’s office of Remy’s school days – perhaps less, as it offered neither stickers nor candy. “Best news I’ve heard yet. But its competition is crap.” heh heh. I loved these lines. Remy's whole exchange with Kolne was great. Geez, Remy finally gets off a damaging shot with his blaster...when he's not even trying. And then it hits Jav, no less. Kaede’s killer is still out there. Uh oh. I'm nervous about where that's going to lead. Kavuertes could be in for some fireworks with those two patients of hers. Great post! Looking forward to more. -Thumper -----signature----- "Like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method." -Karen Eiffel The Way--Imperial pilot OCs, OT: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28104637 Turnaround--Rebel pilot OCs, OT: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28668512
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 4/17 10:26am Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/15 Ch. 10: Blackouts)
	The_Face posted: At least he’d finally gotten his name right. The irony. The_Face posted: “No.” Jav responded to the sarcasm with sadness, “Those were the three of them, and I lost them all in the space of a few hours.” Ouch. Poor Jav. Betrayal is a cruel thing. The_Face posted: The small crowd stepped aside as Jav rushed past. Remy ran by them, a sarcastic “Thanks” on his lips. Looks like the crowd took a page out of Assassin's Creed's book here, lol. The_Face posted: A blurry dark object rapidly approaching, a heavy thud, and the sound of his own reflex shot were the last things Remy sensed before falling into unconsciousness. Maybe you should have left your blaster home in the first place, Remy, and you could focus more on traps. The_Face posted: The hall’s ceiling fading to black, Kavuertes’s voice, and the strange tingling feeling were the last things Jav sensed before falling into unconsciousness. Nice analogy on those two paragraph endings, good stylistic choice. The_Face posted: “Good morning, detective.” “Prove it,” Remy replied groggily to the voice. Another great little bit of dialogue, I'm loving those. The_Face posted: Well that makes it an even worse morning, and doesn’t affect what an inferior officer you are, Remy thought. He merely grunted. I love Remy and his unspoken retorts. The_Face posted: Remy’s mind rushed to rebut. Reckless? It had reck! If anything, it was reckful! Wait. That doesn’t make any sense. Don’t say that. The_Face posted: Kaede’s killer is still out there. Not only that, it seems her death was also in vain, in a way. The_Face posted: She moved to the sink in the middle of the small room dedicated to treating her clients. It only barely accommodated the extra bed she had set up the previous night for the Duro. After washing each hand thoroughly for precisely equal amounts of time, she moved to the first bed, exactly a meter from the other. There lay her other patient, the speeder accident victim who’d come in shortly before Jav. Zelvyn Judas. Great chapter, Face, as always! And don't worry bout the cliffies, I was just kidding. I'm quite a fan of them myself, although my (few) readers have to suffer longer than just a few days to see an update... But then again, guess that's my fault. Keep up the brilliant work, can't wait to read on. -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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Laine_Snowtrekker Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 4/18 12:52pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/15 Ch. 10: Blackouts)
	Our poor guys! Great post. Thanks for the PM. Much appreciated. -----signature----- Stealth and subtlety work well, but for making lasting impressions, a blaster does just fine. -Han Room full of gold and jewels, and Dr. Daniel Jackson finds the one book. -Cam Palso's #1 Fan JO: RS1, Admiral Fanfic link in bio (esp. 08 Diary Challenge)
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The_Face Title: Fan Fic Manager, now with real butter flavor Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 4/18 9:10pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/15 Ch. 10: Blackouts)
	VaderLVR: I like mysteries too. Eruanne: You know that Diabet boy. KELIA: It’s like they say. Out of the frying pot, into the bed next to a killer. Err, wait… Thumper: I never liked my school’s nurse’s office. I never got candy or stickers. Remy doesn’t know how easy he had it. CF: Blaster-pointing and attempted arrests well and good. But getting the name right. That is the important thing. Glad Remy’s running commentary worked in that scene. Since he doesn’t have monologues this time around, and he’s not saying everything that comes into his head yet, it was a fun device to get his quippier thoughts out. Laine: Can’t catch a break, can they? Thank you so much everyone for reading and replying! Next chapter should be coming Tuesday or Wednesday. -----signature----- What's up with the 'now with more real butter flavor'?? - Frieda * Galaxy of Suspects, a CorSec Mystery: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28083207&brd=10476
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Raptor517 Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 4/19 9:13pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/15 Ch. 10: Blackouts)
	Finally back! Loved the new update, surprised at the way things turned out. A fedora, huh? Next thing you know, there might be a bullwhip in there....just kidding. Raptor517 -----signature----- Piercing the Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28010631/p1/?1 His Brother's Words http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/26020497/p1/?3 Metamorphosis http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24997946/p5/?7 Hunter's Vendetta http://
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Healer_Leona Registered: Jul '00	Date Posted: 4/20 10:40am Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/15 Ch. 10: Blackouts)
	“We have security camera footage, detective. He walked away, after you left. He was playing dead after Detective Thylum shot him.” DAmn! Musta played dead real good. Superb post Face. -----signature----- So to my friends that even call but I don't call back I want you deep inside my heart upon a hill It seems to hide sometimes and run away and wonder I'm really sick of saying sorry but I will
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Corellian_Ale Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 4/20 8:26pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/15 Ch. 10: Blackouts)
	Ah! The events in "Title Town" has kept me occupied, but I'm up for some real half-time entertainment! Chapter Eight: Insides Lightning struck in the sky behind Tresler, casting sudden light on the area. A huge shadow appeared on the man-sized crate in front of him. He turned again, and saw what was casting that shadow. A horrible combination of insectoid and machine glared down at him with mismatched eyes. The nightmare – the monster of Bortelles – was real. “No. No, please.” Zelvyn Judas shot him in the head. I don't care if he is a baddie, Judas is too cool! “Um, it’s just I just heard something that ah – Your boyfriend Remy?” “He’s not my boyfriend any more,” she said flatly. “Oh – really?” Kaede resisted the urge to sigh again. Riff likes them cougars!!! “They both worked closely with you, Remy. Sonar as your partner. You were Benali’s regional liaison for the SynMal case. The connection is you.” I scratched my head on this, but I'm guessing The Royal's issue with Remy is that he's a straight cop who will just be in his way... Sad about Kaede's fate. Outside the hotel, black speeders stopped to unload men with blaster rifles. “Remy, we have to leave now.” pauses from typing to bite nails Chapter Nine: Power Shifts The one positive of being behind on updates is that I don't have to wait for the next one! “What kind of cop,” Jav asked, “knows how to steal a speeder?” “They call us CorSec.” If it's wasn't for Kaede's death, I expected Remy to finish with offering his hand and saying, "Nice to meet you!" “Most people don’t have a side-seat passenger telling them what to do.” “You seem to need one.” “You seem to need a punch to the mouth.” Tommy Hineson voice: I. Love. Banter! I'm waiting for Remy to declare how he's 'too old for this ___' “I am taking control of Bortelles CorSec, effective immediately.” I wouldn't be surprised if all this was a phase in the Empire's bid to control CorSec... Remy stood with blaster pistol aimed between Jav’s eyes. “Jav Yonx, for impersonating an officer of the law, you are under arrest.” No smirk moved Remy’s lips, and no joke crossed them. “Don’t make this hard.” chokes on brownie What the bloddy hell is this?!?!?! Chapter Ten: Blackouts “You sure have a lotta friends.” “No.” Jav responded to the sarcasm with sadness, “Those were the three of them, and I lost them all in the space of a few hours.” Reckless? It had reck! If anything, it was reckful! Wait. That doesn’t make any sense. Don’t say that. Why? she wondered. Kavuertes switched the bandage over Jav’s neck for a clean one. He seemed to be stable for now, but hadn’t regained consciousness yet. He would owe her extra for the plasma he’d needed; that much was certain. So why am I treating him with no cash up front? She sighed. And a bloody cop of all things. You’re getting soft, Natille. She moved to the sink in the middle of the small room dedicated to treating her clients. It only barely accommodated the extra bed she had set up the previous night for the Duro. After washing each hand thoroughly for precisely equal amounts of time, she moved to the first bed, exactly a meter from the other. There lay her other patient, the speeder accident victim who’d come in shortly before Jav. Zelvyn Judas. Damn Face, you've got the cliffie down perfectly!!! -----signature----- I am but an asterisk in the annals of fan fiction. "I don't think you can breed being a human out of humans, no matter how much you try. There will always be the odd one out that does not do as planned." - MsLanna
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The_Face Title: Fan Fic Manager, now with real butter flavor Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 4/22 1:15pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/15 Ch. 10: Blackouts)
	Raptor: Well only if it’s a pinstripe bullwhip. Leona: Yeah, though he only had to play a little while since Jav and Remy ran off. Maybe he should have gone into theater instead of contract killing. Ale: My goal with Judas was to make him scary through efficiency. To me, the (so far) silence and the fact that he won’t give you a chance to monologue or escape before he shoots to kill are more frightening than typical villainous posturing/cackling. If it's wasn't for Kaede's death, I expected Remy to finish with offering his hand and saying, "Nice to meet you!" Awesome. I'm waiting for Remy to declare how he's 'too old for this ___' I think he might have in Galaxy Grey. I know one of them did… This cliffie brought to you by the end of The Matrix Reloaded. Thanks for R&Ring, all! Dramatis Personae Bortelles CorSec Regional Director Jek Greeres: Human from Corellia. Long-time head of Bortelles CorSec. Arnim Kolne: Human from Imperial Center. Bortelles CorSec’s Imperial liaison, who has taken control of the division. Remy Diabet: Human from Corellia. One of the few clean CorSec officers in his city, Djerro’s partner. Djerro “Sonar” Begg: Human from Corellia. Remy’s partner, who left a life of wealth after his family was slain by a serial killer. Was assaulted in his home, presumed dead. Kaede Thylum: Human from Corellia. The Bortelles animal expert, with a trained Corellian slice hound named Thief. Died protecting Remy and Jav from Muerban Mannox. Brigan DaRusso: Human from Corellia. Citec’s partner, has feud with Remy. Meih Diabet: Human from Corellia. Remy’s sister, and rookie lab tech in forensics. Citec: Selonian from Corellia. DaRusso’s partner, concerned almost exclusively for the interests of his fellow Selonians. Duro Detective Inspector Jav Yonx: Duro from Duro. Synth’s ex-partner. Detective Sergeant Synth Lydon: Human from Duro. Genius cop, Jav’s ex-partner, now Imperial investigator hunting him down. Detective Inspector Kroma Sheik: Rodian from Duro. Jav’s friend, recently arrested for murder. Detective Sergeant Edairu Benali: Human from Duro. Died working with Remy on a case involving the SynMal Trading Company. The Royal’s Organization Welc “The Royal” Ryred: Human from Corellia. Wealthy head of Reissh Shipyards, and a crime lord who essentially owns the city. Zelvyn Judas: Gand, origin unknown. Cyborg enforcer with a death wish. Wynt Tlach: Human from Corellia. Armored bounty hunter and on-again off-again enforcer for the Royal. Muerban Mannox: Human from Imperial Center. Hitman with cybernetic eyes. Killed Kaede Thylum. Gil Tresler: Human from Corellia. Bookie, Sonar’s contact. Killed by Zelvyn Judas for his betrayal. Riphelius “Riff” Amstend, Jr.: Human from Corellia. Low-level shipyard employee sympathetic to Kaede. Bortelles Petric Tavil: Human from Ando. Head of SynMal’s Bortelles branch, the business Remy and Benali were investigating for connections to the Duro and Corellian underworlds. Doctor Natille Kavuertes: Human from Joralla. “Discreet medical service” who assisted Benali with the cuts on his arms. Katyana Ryred: Human from Corellia. Wife of the Royal, who doesn’t approve of his more ruthless tactics. Lindo June: Devaronian from Nar Shaddaa. Owner of a pawn shop on Stranger Street, a non-human slum. Chapter Eleven: Interviews Kelona 7, 1044 Forensics Lab Room A, Bortelles CorSec Primary Bortelles, Corellia Meih rushed at her older brother, tackling him in an embrace. Remy tensed in her unusually enthusiastic grip. “Uh, hi, sis.” She pushed Remy back to arm’s length, hands still firmly on his shoulders. “Are you okay? I just heard.” “I’m fine. I got hit in the head with a musical instrument; that’s it.” “You were targeted by assassins,” Meih corrected. “And Kaede was…” “I’m fine,” Remy repeated, less convincingly. He brushed Meih’s hands away. “So do you have anything for me on the Benali case?” Meih narrowed her eyes as she looked him up and down. “I’ve been going through weapons looking for what made the cuts on Benali’s arms.” “And?” “Big fat nothing.” “What about the murder weapon?” “The slug has been run through the CorSec database.” “And?” “Big fat nothing.” Remy groaned. “Great.” “It’s going through the fancy Imperial system now, though. Might be a sign this has to do with Benali’s Duro career, not what he’d been doing on Corellia?” “Might be. What about the briefcase Jav brought in?” Meih raised her index finger. “Now that I’ve got something on.” She moved to the table on which the case now sat. Just as Kavuertes described it, the case was silver-and-black, with a small sabrecat’s head adorning the metal clasp in relief. Beside it was a monitor displaying close-ups of the evidence. “I tested the substance Jav found on the corner,” she said. “It was Benali’s. Which means that corner in the blood at the scene could have been from this – not a speeder like you guys throught.” Remy’s right eyebrow shot up. “A dead end is what you’ve got?” “Not quite.” A fingerprint appeared on the screen. “This came from the briefcase; it’s the only one that doesn’t match Benali, Jav, or the pawn shop owner Jav got it from.” “Do we know who it does match?” Remy asked. Meih squinted at him. “Remy, can you be responsible with the information when I tell you?” “What? Just give me the freakin’ clue already.” She pressed a button and a matching print appeared next to the one collected from the case. “Brigan DaRusso.” ****** Kelona 7, 1052 Locker Room B, Bortelles CorSec Primary Bortelles, Corellia Brigan DaRusso looked up from his locker, where he was putting away his grey-and-khaki uniform. He shut it and addressed the man walking in with determined strides. “Remy, are you okay? Last I saw you, you’d been hit with a musical instrument.” “Why did you do it?” Remy asked through clenched teeth. “Come again?” Remy grabbed DaRusso’s shirt near the shoulders and shoved him up against the lockers. “You can stop acting. I have your fingerprints on the briefcase and a description from Lindo June. You removed evidence from a crime scene and sold it?” “We all do what we have to.” Remy shook his head, rage-filled eyes still focused on DaRusso. “You did not have to do any of that.” DaRusso scoffed and flicked the smaller man off him. “You still believe you can do whatever you want without consequences; that’s your problem. Well you don’t. Sonar’s body is in the ocean for that very reason. I know it, Kaede knew it, your freaky Duro friend said as much, and you know it.” Remy’s mouth worked as he searched for words. “Wait. Jav what?” “In Sonar’s apartment. He looked at the scene, and he said there was no way Sonar was still alive. Heard it straight from his lipless mouth.” Remy hesitated, then asked again, “Why did you do it?” “Are you going to report me, rat? Y’ lookin’ for the thrill of your first week again, selling everybody to Internal Affairs?” “There was no ‘thrill’ in that,” Remy replied through tight lips. “What I’m looking for is why.” “And what motivates me to tell you anything?” Remy bit his lip. “The fact that, if you do, I don’t say anything.” Annnnd… I hate myself. “Yeah,” he snorted. “The word of a former mole is worth a whole lot.” “Well if you don’t, I give you the word of a former mole that I will bring this to my old handler in Coronet, and you will find yourself facing a CorSec court martial, an Imperial inquiry, and maybe even a public trial. So it’s either a guarantee you’re fired or a chance, however small, that you aren’t.” Remy raised his eyebrows. “I’d take the small chance if I were you.” DaRusso glared down at him. Remy met his gaze and didn’t back down. They fought each other silently, each daring the other to make a move or look away. Neither would. After a long moment, DaRusso spoke. “What do you know about Tekulai Sho?” “Nothing.” “He’s a mercenary. Works primarily in the Mid-Rim section of the Corellian Run. Falleen, Rodia, Ando, Druckenwell. There is one thing he hates more than anything else.” “Being?” “Corellians.” “Charming. And how does a racist merc figure into the hopefully imminent answering of my question?” “He came to Bortelles a week ago. I… played him in a game of sabacc.” “Oh Force,” Remy groaned. “It was a one-time thing.” “You’re a gambling addict!” “Yeah, I think I know that,” DaRusso replied sharply. “I was in deep, and you don’t want to be the Corellian who owes Sho credits. Then, I come to the Benali scene, and there’s a briefcase full of them. It was steal or die. It’s not exactly easy for a recovering compulsive gambler to get rush loans in cash. “That’s why. Okay? Can I go home now, or do you have more judging to do from on high, Moral Arbiter Diabet?” With that, DaRusso pushed past the other Corellian and out of the room, leaving Remy staring blankly at the wall. ****** Kelona 7, 1257 Lokbah’s Family Restaurant Bortelles, Corellia Remy kept his eyes on his meal as he addressed the man sitting in the booth on his left. “What do you want, Mr. Espionage?” Synth Lydon kept his eyes on the book in his hands as he spoke back. His tone showed no reaction to Remy noticing him. “Please, call me Investigator Lydon.” The two men faced opposite directions in the small, greasy diner, with the aisle between them. A serving droid wheeled down it, guiding an Ortolan thug to the smoking section. “You’re the guy here to capture Jav Yonx, I take it?” “Yes.” Remy stuffed a forkful of fluffy yellow eggs into his mouth. “And you’re stalking me at lunch because…?” “Because you’re right in the middle of all of this.” Remy’s mind flashed to Jav’s words shortly before Kaede had died. They both worked closely with you, Remy. Sonar as your partner. You were Benali’s regional liaison for the SynMal case. The connection is you. “I could read dozens of reports on you, detective. I have.” He held up the book, which was filled with CorSec documents. “But I like to meet a man myself, to really understand him.” “Think y’ understand me?” Remy asked. Synth finally turned to look at the Corellian. His tone was plain – not bragging, merely as relaying fact. “More than you understand yourself, detective. The problem is that I do not know Bortelles. Not yet. So I am here to ask you a simple question with, perhaps, a complicated answer.” Remy raised an eyebrow at the overconfident Imperial. “Working on calculus homework or what?” He laughed softly. “Oh no, I finished calculus when I was eight. No, the question is this: Where does Jav Yonx have left to run? As far as we know, he doesn’t have a speeder. None have been reported stolen since the one you took, detective. And we’ve been monitoring all the rental agencies.” “Wait a minute, what ‘we’ are you talking about? Tell me it’s not the royal kind.” “CorSec and I. Director Kolne has given me all of Bortelles CorSec’s resources at my disposal. Which would, of course, include… you. So, my question?” Remy frowned. This guy is worse than Yonx. “I’m not a particularly patient man,” Synth said. “This case has already taken far longer than is normal for me. Granted, I was delayed since I had to go to training for two days.” “Wait, you went through Imperial investigator training in two days?” “Yes, but to be fair, I spent some of that time solving the homicide of a senator’s aide. Are you stalling, detective?” “No…” Remy answered slowly. His narrowed eyes shot open. “I’m an idiot.” “Well, comparatively, everyone is,” Synth said as if that should make Remy feel better. “No no. I just can’t believe I didn’t realize this until now. I know exactly where Jav went.” He pointed his fork at the gray-eyed Imperial. “Are you familiar with the name ‘Natille Kavuertes’?” ****** Kelona 7, 1257 Private Residence of Detective Brigan DaRusso Bortelles, Corellia At the knocks, Brigan DaRusso reached for the old-style doorknob. He mistrusted the technology of more advanced doors, while feeling secure that the art of picking ancient locks had been largely lost in favor of slicing. DaRusso had turned it and opened his door just a centimeter when the man on the other side kicked it in the rest of the way. DaRusso staggered back, holding his head where the door had hit him. “Son of the Sith!” he growled. His guest stepped into the room. He wore the black garb of a man trying to look like a Fringe spacer, but whose clothes were far too clean and glossy to be truly convincing. He was also covered in a gratuitous amount of unearned Corellian bloodstripes – down his pant legs, his sleeves, and even the front of his unzipped jacket. His eyes were those of a starving wolf. “Sith?” screamed Tekulai Sho. “Oh it’s way worse than that, Brigan!” Sho slammed his fist into DaRusso’s gut, just under his ribs. The cop wheezed for air and continued to stumble backwards. Sho moved forward with him, landing another blow – this one to his left cheek. “Where,” he roared, “is my money?” DaRusso’s voice was weak and airy. “I… gave it t’ you…” He made a buzzing sound. “Wrong answer, Brigan!” He grabbed the cop by his collar and elbow, and threw him into the mirror over a nearby cabinet. The glass shattered, as did a number of objects violently displaced from the cabinet’s top. Sho threw DaRusso from there to the floor. He looked with childlike glee upon the glass shards embedded in the cop’s bloodied back. DaRusso pulled himself onto his hands and knees. “You tried to screw me,” Sho said. “I’m not happy!” He ran forward two steps, and swung his foot up into DaRusso’s chest. The Corellian collapsed flat on the floor. “Subtlety isn’t my strong point,” Sho went on. “So tell me clearly in simple language. Where!” He stomped on DaRusso’s right hand. “Is!” He stomped again. “My!” Crunch. “Money!” The last stomp came down. DaRusso rolled over, cradling his broken hand. “Please,” he sobbed, “I gave you what I had…” Sho leaned down and pulled DaRusso up to his feet. DaRusso launched his elbow at the other; Sho grabbed the attacking limb with his left hand and twisted. He delivered the heel of his right palm directly into DaRusso’s face. “You gave me oblivyn! You gave me fake credits!” Blood escaping his nose, voice slurred, DaRusso managed, “What?” Sho slapped him. “Wake up! Is this some kind of fake debt to you? Am I a counterfeit person?” He slammed DaRusso down onto the staircase. The cop reached for his CDEF, only to realize it was in Sho’s hand. The man covered in bloodstripes bellowed, “Bad news, Brigan! I’m kriffing real! I’m real as Jabba’s slimy!” His voice lowered suddenly as he pointed the blaster pistol sideways at DaRusso in accusation. “You. You are going to get me my money. My reeeeal bloody money. And if you don’t, Brigan, I swear on the graves of every stinking Corellian I’ve ended that your organs will look like party streamers.” He leaned in close to DaRusso, where the detective could feel his hot breath. Sho’s wild, bloodlust-filled eyes darted, searching DaRusso’s. A hint of an insane smile twitched at the edge of his mouth while he asked one last question. “You get that?” NEXT: Hits and Misses -----signature----- What's up with the 'now with more real butter flavor'?? - Frieda * Galaxy of Suspects, a CorSec Mystery: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28083207&brd=10476
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Corellian_Ale Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 4/22 1:53pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/22 Ch. 11: Interviews) - Date Edited: 4/22 1:54pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Corellian_Ale
	You're getting to almost as bad as oqidaun, making me scour the earth to assemble an obscure soundtrack... Feels like music from a Tarentino film though. alright, no more complaining, just rejoicing at a new chapter. “Remy, can you be responsible with the information when I tell you?” “What? Just give me the freakin’ clue already.” She pressed a button and a matching print appeared next to the one collected from the case. “Brigan DaRusso.” Mother...wait, can we use BSG curse words now, I forget... “I was in deep, and you don’t want to be the Corellian who owes Sho credits. Then, I come to the Benali scene, and there’s a briefcase full of them. It was steal or die. Heh, I'm not buying it, you Remy? So Synth, the case has gone longer than expected? Isn't that a shame... “I gave you what I had…” ...He delivered the heel of his right palm directly into DaRusso’s face. “You gave me oblivyn! You gave me fake credits!” Okay, I'm good with the previous explaination...you Remy? Great update Face, I have a feeling it's a segue to something HUGE -----signature----- I am but an asterisk in the annals of fan fiction. "I don't think you can breed being a human out of humans, no matter how much you try. There will always be the odd one out that does not do as planned." - MsLanna
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MarasFire Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 4/22 5:10pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/22 Ch. 11: Interviews)
	Hey, Face! I'm still reading, even though I haven't commented lately. Every update leaves me "curiouser and curiouser!" I love your dialogue; every person has their own way of talking in this, and it's very realistic. The imperfections in their speech are perfect. Thanks for continuing to send me PMs!
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VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Who Runs w/ Scissors Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 4/23 7:48am Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/22 Ch. 11: Interviews)
	You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Drawing me in deeper and deeper, and then suddenly you're going to let me fall into quicksand! Loving it anyway! -----signature----- “The smaller the mind the greater the conceit” – Aesop A Light from a Window http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28625076/p1/?10
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Raptor517 Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 4/23 12:48pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 4/22 Ch. 11: Interviews)
	I like. Stir the plot pot per post. Raptor517 -----signature----- Piercing the Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28010631/p1/?1 His Brother's Words http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/26020497/p1/?3 Metamorphosis http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24997946/p5/?7 Hunter's Vendetta http://
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