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Author	Topic: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - Complete)
Thumper09 Registered: Dec '01	Date Posted: 5/14 5:42pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/13 Ch. 14: Behind Closed Doors)
	It was interesting what Jav said about how Synth would track him down and eliminate any criminals in his path, and how the Royal was not some powerful figure to the Empire. It made lots of sense from Jav's "outsider" perspective, and I wonder what (if anything) the Royal thought of that. “I hope it’s fairly soon. I’ve thought up some real zingers and I don’t have anything to write them down on. If he waits too long to come back, I might forget some. Like, I had a Royal pun a few minutes ago, but I can’t remember it for the life of me.” ... “Did I?” he snapped. His voice steadily rose as he said, “I guess I’ve been hit on the head too many times to remember!” LOL. Remy rocks. It's good to see Sonar again! I can't wait to hear what happened to him after he was attacked in his apartment. I'm curious about the woman, too. Looking forward to more! -Thumper -----signature----- "Like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method." -Karen Eiffel The Way--Imperial pilot OCs, OT: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28104637 OC X-wing fics: http://www.coronasquadron.com/corona.html
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Jedi_Eruanne Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 5/14 7:57pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/13 Ch. 14: Behind Closed Doors)
	SONAR!!!! tackle hugs Nathan, you are my hero. I think I have a major crush on Wynt...no idea why though. Hmm...I guess I just have a thing for mercs with helmets. Is this a bad thing? Is it also a bad thing that I ramble? I seem to do that more and more...must be age. “Kind of injured here,” Jav groaned. “We’ve had a rough day,” Remy said. “There was the speeder chase and lightfight…” “The quetarra to the head…” “The blaster bolt to the gut…” “The ale bottle to the head…” “The capture by Zelvyn Judas…” “The armored fist to the head…” “The torture…” “The quetarra to the head…” Jav looked at Remy. “You already said that.” snickers Sometimes it takes all of my female sympathetic-ness to even feel the slightest bit sorry for Remy and Jav when they get going...hahaha Fantastic dialogue as usual, Nathan! hugs Hope you aren't too busy to get another chappy out soon! I can't wait to see what happens next! (Why are all my sentences ending with and exclamation mark?!) -----signature----- <><Jedi Knight For Christ><> Links to Fics in Profile---go check em out! Loyal Reader of Quiet_Mandalorian. MystralGurl's CRAZY Evil Twin (mwuhahahaha) Have you hugged your evil twin today?
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NYCitygurl Title: Railroad Baroness of SFFBC, C&G, and NSWFF Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 5/16 9:20pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/13 Ch. 14: Behind Closed Doors) - Date Edited: 5/16 10:19pm (4 edits total) Edited By: NYCitygurl
	I'm so sorry I'm late I'm going to try to catch up tonight (and edit in comments as I read each chapter, or I'll forget Chapter 10 Reckless? It had reck! If anything, it was reckful! I think I'm going to be glad a couple friends of mine can't see that line “Detective Diabet, your actions last night were entirely unacceptable.” That’s what she said. I love a good "that's what she said" Poor Remy. Bad that Kaede's killer is still out there, and that Jav is still out The doctor's growing on me, though Chapter 11 Okay, Synth needs to come take my math classes for me that Remy is going to tell him where Jav is, but hopefully Jav'll get away in time. And that Sho dude is one creepy freak The fake credits are interesting, but Sho's a psycho. Chapter 12 Aww, you killed off the doctor just as I was starting to like her Do Jav and Remy continue their habits of getting knocked unconscious? Someone should keep a tally of how often it happens, since in the last three chapters they've each been knocked out twice And I hate DaRusso kind of a lot. Chapter 13 Brilliant!! I love the Remy/Jav dialogue And I love that Jav can't realize when Remy's joking/being sarcastic And Synth is a pompous jerk. H can still take my math tests for me, though. Chapter 14 Dude, I did not see that one coming. I'm dying for the next one Poor Remy. He's right; he has been hit on the head too many times -----signature----- "We Earth Men have a talent for ruining big, beautiful things." ~ Master of padawanlost, Ultima_1 and Jedimaster_JainaSolo
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Corellian_Ale Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 5/18 7:21am Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/13 Ch. 14: Behind Closed Doors)
	“My garage-based Max Rebo tribute band is gonna be upset. We were all set to start learning instruments.” Will Remy be dressed in a blue Ortolan fat suit as well??? “Cavalier is my middle name,” Remy said. “You can’t even imagine the teasing at the schoolyard. Full name, of course, being Remy Cavalier Diabet, Now With More Real Butter Flavor.” Well at least he's not chock full of nuts. Synth stared at the screen in silence. The smugness was gone from his expression, replaced with a dumbfounded gaping. “Oh.” Who the hell is this "cliff" character that shows up at the end of all of your chapters???? Oh and look, he's been joined by a character named oliver "Twist"... “A nice abandoned one too,” a deep voice answered. Its owner stepped forward out of the shadows, a large bald man with dark skin. “How was the ride?” asked Djerro “Sonar” Begg. Jav’s jaw dropped. Remy turned to face the Duro. “I told you he was alive.” Two updates for the price of one, mar-ve-lous Face! -----signature----- "They're dying Artoo, what are gonna' do?" "Only one thing to do man. You still got that bag I gave you?" Proud owner of a shiny '08 MsLanna ...
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amidalachick Registered: Aug '03	Date Posted: 5/19 8:48am Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/13 Ch. 14: Behind Closed Doors)
	Chapter 13 “We were academy roommates.” “Judging by his uniform, and what I know of you, it musta been one clean room.” “It won an award our sophomore year.” Jav toyed with a loose strand of material on a bacta patch on his arm. “He was my partner, in the Duro police. He was my best friend. After him, Kroma Sheik – who’s surely in prison by now – and his partner Edairu Benali. You know where Benali is now.” I love this passage, and actually, this whole chapter. Great mix of banter and more serious talk. Chapter 14 “Alright then. Come with me if you want to live.” This woman wouldn't be a Terminator-type cybernetic organism, would she? Loved Remy's listing of all the times he's been hit over the head. He and Jav really have had a tough day. And yay for Sonar being back! Excellent updates, Face! -----signature----- "Love...always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
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Laine_Snowtrekker Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 5/19 11:19am Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/13 Ch. 14: Behind Closed Doors)
	Great chapter, great dialogue--the explanation of what sort of day they've had was interesting. And Sonar! Maybe we can get some answers?? Thanks for the PM. -----signature----- Stealth and subtlety work well, but for making lasting impressions, a blaster does just fine. -Han Room full of gold and jewels, and Dr. Daniel Jackson finds the one book. -Cam Palso's #1 Fan JO: RS1, Admiral Fanfic link in bio (esp. 08 Diary Challenge)
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 5/20 6:18am Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/13 Ch. 14: Behind Closed Doors)
	Frak, I can't believe I missed another two chapters from you. Aanyway, here are my thoughts: Chapter 13: Loved the dialogue between Remy and Jav, it both gave the reader more insight into their history as well as strengthening their partnership by getting to know each other better. Another "Bravo!" on great OCs and interaction, there were a lot of great parts. My favorites: “Cavalier is my middle name,” Remy said. “You can’t even imagine the teasing at the schoolyard. Full name, of course, being Remy Cavalier Diabet, Now With More Real Butter Flavor.” He paused. “The First,” he added. “I’ve read your file, and it lists no record of a name change.” “Jav, the fact that you mean that is both the best and worst thing.” Jav repeated the question in his own way. “Are you looking down your nose like some kind of high and mighty moral arbiter, despite all your own ethical flaws which make your judging glare both obnoxious and hypocritical?” “Yeah.” “Definitely.” Hehe. Chapter 14: Ouch, very intense torturing there. I loved Jav's speech to The Royal, "the two-cred crook" in the eyes of the Empire. Pity it didn't have the desired effect. “Sith.” Remy buried his face in his hands. Please, Force, universe, whatever… leave Meih out of this. The question is, is The Royal that clever? But then again, no need to worry anymore, thanks to the nice Lady Deus Ex Machina. No, just kidding. Is she Azure? NetAim and all? And how did she manage to buy Tlach? I loved that "injury recap" dialogue between Remy and Jav, it's just too long to quote. Hilarious! As for the end... it sure had the desired effect, Mr. Cliff 'The_Face' Hanger, sir. Cool updates, can't wait for the next. Keep up the brilliant writing. -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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Healer_Leona Registered: Jul '00	Date Posted: 5/20 4:18pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/13 Ch. 14: Behind Closed Doors)
	Wait, he's alive? Best thing is the dialog between Remy and Jav. -----signature----- Still crazy after all these years.
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The_Face Title: Fan Fic Manager, now with more real butter flavor Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 5/23 9:01am Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/13 Ch. 14: Behind Closed Doors)
	Vadey: Laziness! gasp Raptor: Answers coming very soon. KELIA: I love that Remy and Jav have been rescued but couldn't you have given them a more traditional, non violent escape? Ha ha ha ha no. Thumper: If the Royal can look past his own self-importance, he’ll see that Jav is right. But that’s asking a lot for him. This next chapter is going to be explaining quite a few things. Eruanne: Age. Yeah. But… but it’s endearing! R-right? I was glad to get to write them being obnoxious and bouncing off each other since they’d spent so much story time being strangers/mistrusting/apart. Nat: Glad you’re all caught up. Are these friends particularly… reckful? They don’t get knocked out near this frequently in other installments though they do get shot at more. I’m sure one or both of them is keeping a tally regardless. Ale: We can only hope. Who the hell is this "cliff" character that shows up at the end of all of your chapters???? He’s from “Cheers.” amidalachick: I was surprised I hadn’t used that Terminator reference before (at least, I don’t think I have…) Laine: I made more of an effort with this one to keep track of time, and really track consequences of earlier actions (or wounds as the case may be). CF: I think Deus Ex Machina is a lovely girl’s name! Is she Azure? NetAim and all? Leona: Yeppers! That relationship/dialogue is my favorite to write. ALL: My hugest of thanks for reading and replying! This update is a little on the short side, but only because the next one is on the longer side. Chapter Fifteen: Dead Men’s Tales Kelona 7, 2354 Underground Metro Line Green Station (defunct) Correalis, Corellia Jav finally managed to close his mouth. “Sonar?” “Hello Jav. You’ve met Shivalla?” He gestured to the beautiful woman with the NetAim and coffee-toned hair – Remy and Jav’s self-descibed “guardian kriffin’ angel.” Jav continued to stare. “We thought you were dead.” Remy cleared his throat. “I thought you were dead; he’s just an idiot,” Jav corrected. Remy nodded sagely. “Thaaankyou.” “Thought I was gone, myself,” Sonar replied. “So does the person who tried to make me that way. Whoever they were.” Remy groaned. “You didn’t even get a look at the shooter?” “Oh, I got a look. At somebody in a pilot’s uniform, helmet and all. No telling who it was, other than it seemed like a humanoid male. You can check the security footage.” “Your apartment building doesn’t have a camera system,” Jav said. “I meant the hidden ones I installed,” Sonar replied as if it should have been obvious. “He had a slugthrower. Shot me right out my window. Fortunately, he didn’t check to make sure he’d finished the job. Or notice that I was wearing a slug-proof vest under my shirt.” “What were you doing wearing a slug-proof freakin’ vest in the privacy of your own home?” Remy asked. “I have a thing for preparation. Amazingly, my commlink still worked. Thought for sure that waterproof gizmo was a ripoff. Anyway, Shivalla got my distress signal and patched me up.” Remy’s brow furrowed. “And you just let us think you were dead?” “You’re trying to guilt me. I don’t guilt.” “‘Cause you have no heart.” Sonar shrugged. “Looked into getting one. Costs too much on today’s market.” “You’re filthy rich. You can afford it.” Jav interrupted the two Corellians. “Wait, how does Tlach fit into this? And who is this Shivalla?” “I’m right here, you know,” Shivalla said. Sonar faced the Duro. “Shivalla is one of a number of contacts I’ve made over the past couple months. She’s trustworthy. Tlach, I admit, is a good deal pricklier. But he’s loyal to credits, and I’m offering him more than the Royal is right now. Ryred doesn’t have a clue he’s working with me.” Jav scoffed. “The way he electrocuted us, I gotta say it was hard to tell on our end that he isn’t in the Royal’s employ.” “Then he’s doing his job,” Sonar said. “Double agent’s not an easy line to walk. He will still do what the Royal asks him – including hurt my friends – but he’s my in. He’s the key to taking Ryred out. Now can I get back to my story? Where was I? I was explaining… ah yes, everything.” Sonar went on, “I’d just survived a murder attempt, and Shivalla was the only one who knew I was still among the living. This put an acceleration on my plans, but I won’t deny the convenience. I decided to remain dead – even to you, Remy. I moved into my base of operations here.” He gestured to the abandoned underground station. “Why Correalis?” Remy asked. “Because Phorim smells.” “Fair enough.” “I’ve been keeping up with your case, and putting my resources into finding anything that might help you. And we took a huge risk to extract you two, by the way. Shivalla could have been killed or captured, and Tlach could have been compromised. Months of work might have been lost. You have no idea how furious I’d be with you if you’d not survived.” “How… sweet.” “Wait,” Jav interjected. “What plans? What exactly are you doing here, that requires you to be ‘dead’?” “Information,” Sonar answered. “Imagine an interplanetary network of agents, spies, traitors, loose-lipped drunks, greedy rats, sliced droid brains, anything that can provide underworld information. Keeping contacts largely unaware of one another, and most importantly, building a myth. Criminals are superstitious. Fear spreads easily among them, and it gains strength as it spreads. Look at Zelvyn Judas. The Royal’s bogeyman has gotten him far more than his tangible assets alone would.” “And what are you going to do?” Jav inquired. Sonar smiled. “I’m going to become the underworld’s worst nightmare.” “I really hate it when you get dramatic,” Shivalla informed the former CorSec officer. Remy nodded. “So this is why you resigned? This is what you were hiding?” “I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to hide from you,” Sonar said with a low chuckle. “Resignation was a step; I meant to fade slowly before disappearing. The shooter, though, has made me skip the fading and go straight to the dying. Not my favorite part.” Jav began to pace. The amount of information to process was like a tide; and his exhausted mind seemed to offer little more than a paper cup to capture it all. “So… So this network of yours… Has it found anything on our case?” “It’s still in its infancy,” said Sonar, “but yes.” He reached into his jacket and pulled a datacard from his inside pocket. “I have a friend in the post. This datacard was sent by Edairu Benali, with the instruction that it should be held until Kelona 7, in case Benali asks it not to be sent at all. The seventh is here, and Benali’s obviously not going to be asking much of anything.” He held the card out. “It’s to you, Remy.” “Why would Benali mail me a datacard?” Remy received the small, thin rectangle in his right palm. “I can’t say for certain his intentions,” Jav said, “but it sounds to me like this is Benali’s way of sending you a message from beyond the grave in case of his death.” “Like my dossier,” Sonar added. “Except I didn’t quite mean for it to get to you when and where it did.” “All my mail is from dead people,” grumbled Remy. Sonar cleared his throat. “There’s a catch, I’m afraid.” “It self-destructs?” “Don’t be stupid. The files are encrypted. Is there some code you and Benali had while you were working together that might decrypt it?” Remy held the tiny card at arm’s length while eying it. “Not really. We worked on the SynMal case together, but we weren’t all that close and we didn’t do any cryptography. By the way, I told the Royal you scrapbook.” “I’m okay with it. But clearly Benali overestimated your slicing abilities, because I can run digital circles around you, and I can’t make it out.” The other Corellian coughed. Sonar folded his big arms. “What did you do, Remy?” He shrugged his shoulders, the motion leading into a defensive raise of his hands. “I might have mentioned being the best in CorSec or something, but I mean, that’s a white lie really…” Sonar rolled his eyes. “Why do I bother?” He raised his eyebrows at Remy, creating wrinkles in his shaved head. “You know who you have to see.” Remy shook his head. “No. No, I don’t want to.” “Want nothing. You haven’t got a choice.” The paler man started to say something, but it turned into a sigh. His whole body drooped. “Come on, Jav. I’ll introduce you to Taban Maitland.” NEXT: Local Branches -----signature----- If mercy falls upon the broken and the poor Dear Father, I will see you there on distant shores
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 5/23 10:26am Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/13 Ch. 14: Behind Closed Doors)
	Shivalla? I think I remember her from The Case, but that's about it. Guess I've still got a lot to explore in the Faceverse. Great update, I really enjoyed it--and I don't mind shortness at all. Slug-proof west, eh? Sonar was lucky to wear one, I guess they're rather, um, rare, wouldn't you think? I wonder what he was wearing it for? Anyway, great to see him and Remy back to good old partner banter, hehe... he pretty much stole Jav the show, no? â€œCome on, Jav. Iâ€™ll introduce you to Taban Maitland.â€ So the next chapter is a collab? Heh, I already kinda expected something like that, seeing as the whole chapter took place in Correalis. I'm sure thrilled to see what's on the death-mail pad Benali left behind, and to see how Remy and our favorite droid-geek with the latest fashion sense play with each other. The premise doesn't look that good. I'm curious as to whether the CDN plays any importance in Sonar's network. In any regard, I can't wait to see the overkill of trenchcoats in the next chapter. -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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Raptor517 Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 5/23 10:29am Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/23 Ch. 15: Dead Men's Tales)
	Ah, things are making more sense now. So far, anyway. Looking forward to meeting this slicer. Raptor517 -----signature----- Piercing the Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28010631/p1/?1 His Brother's Words http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/26020497/p1/?3 Metamorphosis http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24997946/p5/?7 Hunter's Vendetta http://
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NYCitygurl Title: Railroad Baroness of SFFBC, C&G, and NSWFF Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 5/23 12:07pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/23 Ch. 15: Dead Men's Tales)
	I'm very interested in finding out who this guy is . . . and why Remy isn't interested in meeting him. I love that he was stupid enough to tell that lie, though Great chapter! -----signature----- "We Earth Men have a talent for ruining big, beautiful things." ~ Master of padawanlost, Ultima_1 and Jedimaster_JainaSolo
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Jedi_Eruanne Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 5/23 12:45pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/23 Ch. 15: Dead Men's Tales)
	But… but it’s endearing! R-right? Of course it's endearing, Nathan! ...just in a sort of, wanting-to-bash-their-heads-together sort of way. :P Sonar smiled. “I’m going to become the underworld’s worst nightmare.” “I really hate it when you get dramatic,” Shivalla informed the former CorSec officer. Heehee...she reminds me of a certain Messuni Roserain.... “All my mail is from dead people,” grumbled Remy. Hmph...take what you can get, Remy. I don't get mail from anyone. haha He shrugged his shoulders, the motion leading into a defensive raise of his hands. “I might have mentioned being the best in CorSec or something, but I mean, that’s a white lie really…” Oh, Remy...you are an idiot. I wonder who Tad is? Obviously a slicer...but Remy doesn't seem to like him much. Heehee, this is getting GOOD! huggles Thanks for the pm, Nathan! Fantastic post as ever. -----signature----- <><Jedi Knight For Christ><> Links to Fics in Profile---go check em out! Loyal Reader of Quiet_Mandalorian. MystralGurl's CRAZY Evil Twin (mwuhahahaha) Have you hugged your evil twin today?
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Corellian_Ale Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 5/23 10:34pm Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/23 Ch. 15: Dead Men's Tales)
	Sonar being still alive is quite the big deal, however... “You know who you have to see.” Remy shook his head. “No. No, I don’t want to.” “Want nothing. You haven’t got a choice.” The paler man started to say something, but it turned into a sigh. His whole body drooped. “Come on, Jav. I’ll introduce you to Taban Maitland.” AAGGHHH!!! faints after screaming like a fanboy I knew it! I said to Luton a year ago you two were on a collision course!!! What's a guy got to do to get a bootleg of the next chapter?!?!? -----signature----- "They're dying Artoo, what are gonna' do?" "Only one thing to do man. You still got that bag I gave you?" Proud owner of a shiny '08 MsLanna ...
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KELIA Title: Moderator: Fan Fiction Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 5/25 8:10am Subject: RE: Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - 5/23 Ch. 15: Dead Men's Tales)
	“I might have mentioned being the best in CorSec or something, but I mean, that’s a white lie really…” Remy, Remy, Remy Perhaps now you'll rethink telling those "white lies"[/i] It'll be interesting to see what Remy has against Taban Maitland. Great update -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 Undue Circumstances: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28530583/p1/?10
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