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Author	Topic: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror
NATIONALGREATNESS Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 3/5 6:31am Subject: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror
	First off, I've made more posts since last time, so please respond and look and read my story this time! And please definitely post on this thread to tell me what you think of it! Ok. This starts in the middle of ROTS. First off, imagine these things have happened in AOTC instead of what really happened: Anakin did get a crush on Padme, but she was sensible enough to ward him off. When he tried to kiss her, she slapped him, and he ran away crying like a little boy. However, he managed to seduce one of her youngest handmaidens, who unlike Padme was younger than him - age 17 when he was 19 - and they became boyfriend/girlfriend, but did not get married. After getting really annoyed with Anakin for embarrassing her in front of her family, Padme left Naboo and went to help Obi-Wan track down her potential murderers, because she is tough, brave, and independent, and will not be a slave to anyone. After spending time together, they developed a sort of relationship based on affection and..........well, lust. Which Obi-Wan knows is illegal, but unlike Anakin he reveals it to the council, and because, unlike Anakin, he has control of his emotions, they allow him to stay, and still be Padme's boyfriend as well. Anakin goes a bit peculiar and develops a real evil side. Mace also feels attracted to Padme, but manages to retain self control, sort of. The Dark Side and the Light Side are related to Satanism and Christianity, respectively. But don't be put off by this, it'll be funny! Ok, there are more changes than this, but these are the basic ones, and there is another thing too: The fight between Sidious and Mace's group has just started, but in this fight, Kit Fisto has survived, even though the other two are dead, so it is him And Mace against the Dark Lord. Ok, begins here: -------------------------- Mace held the purple lightsaber against the evil Sith Lord's throat, staying calm, while Kit Fisto kept guard on the other side. "You are under arrest, Darth Sidious!" "Ah.......so you know my real name, jedi scum. Haha." Sidious chuckled. "It makes no difference. It is over." Kit Fisto stated bluntly. "We shall see, my foolish jedi, we shall see......." Sidious's creepy smile widened, and Kit Fisto turned around to see Anakin entering the room. "Anakin, what are you doing here? You were ordered to remain at the temple!" "Yeah, well I just can't get used to following orders, sorry." Anakin stated before smiling in a sinister manner. He walked right up to Mace. "Master, why do you have your lightsaber at the chancellor's throat?" "Have you lost your mind, Anakin?!?!" Mace said aggressively. "He is the Sith Lord! You told us yourself!" "Oh, I know that..........but the dark side does hold its appeal......" A creepy smile appeared on his face. "Anakin!" Shouted Kit Fisto. "You are defending this evil monster, this man who has lied and tricked all of us just so that he can become a dictator! Can you not see this is bad?" "Yeah, but he knows how to have fun. You are just too damn serious and stuck up." Anakin said snidely. "Shut up, boy!" Shouted Mace. "He is an evil beast and he will stand trial!" Anakin shrugged. "Fine by me. But don't kill him, he is so useful!" Mace shook his head and turned back to Sidious. "Get up, you evil old man, I'm taking you to the court!" "NO! NO NO NO NO! YOU WILL DIIDEEEEEEEEEEE!" Sidious screamed malevolently and unleashed a barrage of force lightening on Mace, who blocked it with his saber. "YOU ARE A TRAITOR!" "YOU STINKING LIAR, YOU ARE THE TRAITOR!" Mace shouted back. "ANAKIN! YOU NEED MEEEEEE! REMEMBER?" Sidious pleaded. Anakin looked confused. "Do I? No, you're thinking of someone else. I like your abilities, but you are sloppy. I could do far better." "ANAKIN!" Kit Fisto shouted. Anakin smiled. "Sorry, tentacle head." "I am Not a TENTACLE HEAD, YOU ARROGANT YOUTH!" Shouted Fisto. "Ohhhhhh, looks like someone's feeling the anger....." "No I am not!" All this time, Mace has managed to beat Sidious's lightening. "Ahhhhh.....I'm too weak........please don't kill me......." Sidious moaned. "You liar, you aren't weak at all! But I cannot take you to the courts, you control them all. Kit, we have to execute this evil old prune." "Mace, that's against the Jedi way!" "What choice do we have?" "Well, we could break his hold on the courts by showing footage of him killing our friends." "Yes, but he's too dangerous, he can just attack us with lightening any time." "Wait a minute!" Anakin said boldly. "I have an idea. Why don't you just cut his hands off, then he won't be able to attack you?" Mace nodded. "That's a reasonable course of action, Anakin. Good thinking." "You fool!" Sidious hissed malevolently. "I can offer you everything, Anakin! I can show you how to blast lightening at your foes, how to choke them to death, how to use your darker emotions to give you power in combat, even how to control people's minds!" "Ignore him, Anakin, he's a Sith." Kit said. Anakin pondered this for a moment. "No, I don't want to be your apprentice or slave. If I am to master the Dark Side, I want to be The Master of the Dark Side, not your servant! I will do it that way!" "You will do no such thing!" Mace said forcefully. "The Dark Side is evil!" Anakin chuckled in a sinister way. "Only from a 'Certain Point of View', Bald Head. Haha." "How dare you call me bald head?" Mace shouted. Using this as a distraction, Sidious got up and used the force to will his lightsaber, trapped on a ledge below, back into his hands. Taking advantage of the confusion, he force pushed Mace across the room. "Mace!" Kit Fisto shouted. He drew his lightsaber to battle the dark lord. They begin to fight. While this is happening, Anakin can feel the Dark Side coursing through his veins. He drew his lightsaber and ignited it, and walked towards Mace boldly, with an evil smile on his face. "Prepare to die, baldy." "You traitorous *****!" Mace shouted, and drew his lightsaber just in time to block Anakin's attack. But Anakin is relentless. He slashed downwards again and again, and finally Mace kicked him backwards, got up, and advances. "Stand down, Anakin." "No, Jedi." Anakin smiled again, and they appear to be continuing to fight. However, suddenly, Sidious got under Kit's guard and stabbed him through the belly. "ARHRHJRAHHRAoOOOOOOORAHRHBALLYHOOOOAOHOPPERAH HRHHH!" Kit screamed in agony! Sidious laughed evily. "You Sith bastard!" Mace shouted, and rushed Sidious. As they now began to fight again, Anakin walked up to the injured Fisto and chopped his arm off. It goes flying out the window. Anakin laughed in a depraved, insane manner. "Take that, Tentacle Head! HAHAHAA!" "ARHARHHHHH! ARHHARHARRGHAARHARHAHRARHHHHRHAH!" Kit Fisto screamed. "Kit!" Mace screamed, and in his confusion, Sidious took advantage of the situation and kicked Mace in the stomach, sending him flying backwards. Before he can react again, Sidious force pushed him out of the window. Mace does not fall to his death, but he does fall. Meanwhile, Fisto is still screaming, Anakin kicked him in the stomach and shoved him up to the window, going insane with power. Sidious chuckled and blasted Fisto with Lightening, sending his body into spasms. Sidious takes such pleasure in it one would think he was a pervert. "POOOOWWWEEEEEERRRRR!" "NOOOOOOOO! RHHARARHHRAARHHRHRHH!" Fisto screeched in agony as he is blasted brutally! AHHA! This time, as he is blasted, his guts come flying out, as do many more of his organs, and his body's skin begins to peel off. BRUTAL! "UNNNNNLIIIIIMMMIIIIITTTEEEEDDDD POOOOOWWWWWARRRRRRRRR!" Sidious shouted malevolently, and Fisto goes flying out the window, dead as a tentacle head bog wobeuas. Haha! "I enjoyed that......" Sidious murmured, his voice turning truly evil and satan like......... "Yeah, but I won't be your goddamn apprentice, old man!" Anakin said forcefully. "I want to be the Master of the Dark Side!" "You young fool!" Sidious shouted. "Don't you see that you cannot be the master without first being the apprentice? You must learn from me, I will teach you to be a master of darkness-" "No way! I want to be The Master, not a master! You will bow before me, Sidious!" Anakin drew his lightsaber and smiled, his eyes beginning to turn yellow. Sidious laughed evily. "You are just a pathetic worm in comparison to me, boy. I could crush you like an insect." "Do so, then, if you can, old dude!" Anakin said, teeth bared in a creepy manner. "Oh, why bother. It would be much better if you just became my apprentice!" "No. I'll leave you alone, but first I want a crimson lightsaber! This blue colour is just not dark enough!" "No, you can only have one if you become my apprentice, young fool." Sidious said snidely. "Can't I?" Anakin smiled again, and suddenly force pushed Sidious across the room! "WHAT THE HELL RAHRHHHRHJ?!K!AA?1//" Sidious yelled as he was thrown backwards by someone who should not have been that powerful yet. He hit his head on the wall and collapsed. "OOGOGOGOGOFFFFF!" Anakin grinned creepily, and before Sidious could get up, he walked over to the cabinet where Sidious kept his lightsabers, ripped it open with his lightsaber, and picked a crimson one. He ignited it briefly first, admiring the way it made him look sinister and evil. "Such power......" He then threw his blue lightsaber across the room, where it fell out the window. Turning off his new red lightsaber, he clipped it into his belt, and ran into the other part of the room, just as Sidious was getting up. He looked around in anger. "Where did that cheating boy go?" "Aha! This is what I wanted!" Anakin said loudly, gleefully, from the other room. Sidious drew his lightsaber, ignited it, and walked forwards forcefully. "Show yourself, you little worm!" "Sorry, I got it already - AROAOfofofooffooffff!" There was a loud sound of several things crashing down, and something smashing on the ground. "Crap. Oops. Sorry, Sids, heheh." Sidious ran into the room shouting in malevolence. "HAVE YOU BROKEN ONE OF MY PRIZED ITEMS, BOY!?!?!? HOW DARE YOU!" "Too late!" Anakin chuckled from a corner of the room. Just as Sidious spotted him, he ran out, too fast for Sidious to catch up. "See ya later, oh so great Sith Master! Muahahaha!" "You stupid fool!" Sidious shouted. "I could have given you everything! And you broke-" He looked closer, and saw one of his statues was broken. He screamed in evil rage. "YOU STINKING WORTHLESS $(()!$(!!$((!$ !($( !$(!$(!($((($!74171481$!!$!$!$!******* AGHRHHHHHHH! That cost me twenty billion credits! CRAP!" He walked back to the window dejectedly. But then his face lit up, his yellow eyes making him look truly evil, which he is. "But fear not, my young friend, for I have another who is more than willing to be my apprentice! Haha!" He laughed, and then pressed a button. "You may enter now, General." Into the room walked none other than General Tarkin. Yes, the same bloke who becomes Grand Moff Tarkin, except younger, obviously. Following him, a load of men cloaked in entirely black clothing from head to toe, wearing hoods that made their faces virtually invisible, with only the shrouds of darkness showing. Very creepy and evil looking. Tarkin walked right up to Sidious. "Yes, My Lord?" Sidious smiled toothily, placed an arm around Tarkin's shoulders, and led the younger man to the centre of the room, while the dark cloaked figures started taking out loads of weird occultish things. "My good friend, I have good news for you. I have decided to make you my new apprentice." "Really, my lord?" Tarkin asked, half eagerly, half anxiously. After all, from what he had heard, Sidious did weird things with his apprentices before making them his servants, and this creeped him out more than a little bit. "Yes, General. It won't be too difficult. The only problem I am having is working out what your "Darth" title will be." To be continued........... ------------------------------------------------------- Ok, this time Please do read this story and post on it, and tell me what you guys(and girls)think! It's a little crazy in a sort of darkly funny way, isn't it? I'll make an update after getting a few responses.
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NATIONALGREATNESS Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 3/5 12:16pm Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror
	Hey! This was funny the first time, but not this time! Is this some personal grudge, or is my story just crap? If it is bad, I'd rather a response telling me it's bad rather than being ignored again. Please, for god's sake, will at least someone please comment on my story?!?!
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NATIONALGREATNESS Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 3/5 3:34pm Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror
	How many times do I have to bump this before I get any responses? Is it too long? What am I doing wrong here? Please, can someone please post in this thread? Whoever it is, it would mean a lot to me to get some feedback.
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Eon-Wan-Mome_NT Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 5/8 8:53pm Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror
	Interesting! Poor Kit (tentacle head), losing his guts and stuff! Wow! Tarkin! Is he to learn the Force? Can't wait to see the Chistianity vs. Satanism stuff! -----signature----- "Without Reflection, you will never be able to look into your own eyes" My Fanfic below: Simpsons Star Wars, Episode 1, The Fat Man Menace http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/18582548/?64 ]
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NATIONALGREATNESS Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 5/9 3:58am Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror
	Eon-Wan-Mome_NT posted: Interesting! Poor Kit (tentacle head), losing his guts and stuff! Wow! Tarkin! Is he to learn the Force? Can't wait to see the Chistianity vs. Satanism stuff! Thankyou so much, Eon-Wan-Mome! Finally, someone posted in my story thread! I will make the next update. As long as you continue reading and posting after my next update, of course. And hopefully, some others will read it as well! And the Christianity vs Satanism will be only one part of what is to come, but a great part. And yes, Tarkin will feel the power of the Dark Side consume his soul! MUAHAHAHAA! Anyway, here's the next chapter: ------------------------------------- Back in Padme's apartment.......... Obi-Wan is not on Utapau. He is in bed with his girlfriend, Padme. Instead, Mace Windu has gone to Utapau. She is lying next to him, sleeping peacefully. He is awake, worrying about what will happen with all of the Sith conspiracy stuff. When suddenly, he feels a disturbance in the force. "NOOOOOOOO! ANAKIN! DON'T DO IT! NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAA! POWARRRR! UNLIMITED POWEERRRRRRRRRR!" "ARGHARHHRHHHHHHHHH - BOOOOOOOM!" "Ohhhhhhhh......." "HehEHAHAEGHAHAhAAaARGARHHH!" These sounds of fighting, killing, dark side powers, pain, terror, sadism, and malevolent evil echo through Obi-Wan's head like they were there in the room with him. With a start, he rushed out of bed, terrified, and screamed in terror out of the window. "RAHRHRHAHRHHHRHARHARH! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Padme awoke with a start. "WHAT THE HELL?????" At this Obi-Wan turned around, still breathing heavily and feeling very afraid and disturbed. He could see Padme staring at him like he is mad. "Obi-Wan? What is going on? Why did you scream?" she asked gently. Still breathing heavily, he shook his head and turned around again. "I'm sorry, Love. It was just........I don't know." "No, what is it? Something's wrong." She got out of bed and walked up to him, and touched his shoulder. At this he looked at her, his eyes haunted by the terror of the sounds he had heard. And what he had seen - the most frightening thing ever. A monsterous former human, with piercing yellow eyes, unnaturally pale skin, a twisted, warped, demonic visage, and - and what? He was........ "Obi Wan?" At this he broke out of his thoughts and stared at her directly, trying to calm himself. "I'm sorry. I was........" "Just tell me." "It was........a vision. A vision from the dark side." She flinched in fear. "The dark side? What do you mean? The Sith were in your dreams?" "No, Padme. It wasn't a dream. I was awake already. It just smashed into my mind like an incredibly strong presence of evil. But it was a vision, of sorts." "What happened in this vision?" "I......." he broke off, looking out the window at the sparkling lights of Coruscant, trying to calm himself. "I......find it difficult........it's hard to describe.......it was scary. I was afraid." he muttered, looking down then in shame. She smiled compassionately and touched his shoulder again. "That's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone can be afraid." "Not a Jedi." He said resolutely, and looked at her sternly. "We are meant to be in control, strong, always. If we feel fear that potently, we are in danger of falling to the darkness within!" "Not you, Obi-Wan," She said with a confidence of such light and purity that it virtually lightened his soul. "You would never give in to fear, anger, hatred, or malice. You are too pure for that. Anakin, on the other hand," she scoffed, and looked away bitterly. "He might do anything, if it gave him pleasure. Disgusting yob." Despite the terror of his recent experience, Obi-Wan chuckled. "Oh come on, Padme, he isn't that bad. Sure, he can be annoying at times. He does have a lot of trouble controlling his emotions, yes. And he frequently feels the pull of the dark side, that much is certain. But he is not an evil person." "Really?" she said, with more than a hint of contempt in her voice. She looked at him harshly, and he flinched back. He was shocked by her tone. But before he could say anything she continued. "Not an evil person? Then explain all of his behaviour towards me, and towards virtually all women! His sexism, his anger, and his hatred of his best friends! EXPLAIN THAT THEN!" "What are you talking about?" Obi-Wan asked, shocked. "He doesn't hate his best friends! Who do you mean?" "The Jedi order! You know how frequently he questions their judgment! Isn't that something wrong, that people he should trust with his life, he shows contempt for?" "How do you know that he-" "He passed me the other day outside the Senate, and we spoke briefly." Her voice was tight and hard, with a clear disgust towards the man who was once the innocent boy of nine years old that she had liked. "He said two things that I found so disgusting it was hard to believe. Three things, actually." "Well, what were they?" Obi-Wan asked gently, but slightly impatiently. He was anxious about this, as Anakin, while no longer his apprentice, was a friend in some ways, despite recent differences drawing them apart, and he found it slightly shocking to believe he had become this corrupted by the darkness. "Well, first he said that he hated democracy, and believed that it would be a good thing if Chancellor Palpatine had unlimited power and became a dictator." Obi-Wan was stunned. "WHAT? You're serious?" "Yes. He definitely said that. I was shocked too but then he told me he meant it." Obi-Wan shook his head. "Maybe he was just joking." "I doubt it. Anyway, then he said that he was sick of the Jedi Order and would like to be his own master, and that.........he would like to be able to master and use the darkness within his soul." Obi-Wan nearly fell to the ground. "You.........are kidding.......right?" he managed to say. "No." Padme said sternly. "I am not. That was exactly what he said. Now you see why I don't trust him?" "But......." Obi-Wan looked out the window, thoughts swirling through his mind like a tidal wave crashing against a shore repeatedly. Anakin wanting to embrace the darkness? What the hell was wrong? "Anything.......anything else?" he asked quietly. "He said that he was angry with you for being involved with me, and that......." she bit her lip, clenching her teeth in rage, and then continued. "And then he said that he should have been allowed to FORCE ME TO MARRY HIM, AGAINST MY WILL, AND THAT I SHOULD BE HIS SLAVE!" She shouted in rage. "How's that for a 'nice guy', eh?" Obi-Wan looked down in shock and disgust. He knew Anakin had become corrupted by some of his inner darkness, but he never suspected beforehand that he could ever have become this bad. "I........I don't know what to say." he muttered. "Only that I'm sorry." "It isn't your fault." she said, and turned and looked out the window, breathing hard, trying to control her anger. "But I think that Anakin certainly is in danger of falling to the dark side. He might do it just for fun. He only thinks about himself. He's selfish, immoral, despicable, and a chauvinist pig. He would love to have a load of women as slaves to serve his 'needs', I bet." she laughed contemptuously, and then turned and looked at Obi-Wan again. "But my original point was, you would never give in to the darkness. But Anakin might." "Yes......." Obi-Wan looked at her seriously, his brow furrowed in concentration. "I know you aren't a Jedi, Padme, but let me just ask you this: Do you think.......do you think that it's possible that my vision could have been something to do with Anakin?" She shrugged. "I don't know much about Jedi visions, but considering how much he disobeys Jedi laws and would like to embrace the darkness, it certainly seems the most likely possibility. Who else could it have been?" "Wait.......wait a minute!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, suddenly remembering. "I remember now! In the vision, I heard a voice. It was screaming horrifically, and it sounded like Qui-Gon. It screamed something like this: 'NOOOOOOOO! ANAKIN! DON'T DO IT! NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'" Padme looked disturbed by this. "And.......then what happened?" "Then I heard a deep, dark, evil voice. It was the voice of a Sith Lord, I'm almost sure of it." He started to sweat even thinking about it, feeling the terror that he had felt when he first heard that evil, twisted, malevolent voice in his vision. The voice of a monster. "It shouted: 'AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAA! POWARRRR! UNLIMITED POWEERRRRRRRRRR!' And then, I heard some more screaming, evil laughter, and the sound of force lightening being blasted at......something or someone. And then it suddenly all stopped." They both stared at each other, feeling afraid simply from the mentioning of these terrible things. -------------------------------------- Back in Anakin's apartment, his girlfriend, Racha, waited for him to return. She suddenly felt cold and shivered. An evil presence, saturated with the twisted energies of the Dark Side, had entered the apartment. She hear footsteps approaching, closer and closer......... Suddenly, something leapt into view in front of her with a shout of malevolent evil. "ARGARHRHHHHHHHEEEERRRRGROOOOORGHHHHHH!" it screamed, or roared, and advanced on her, it's yellow eyes glinting a piercing, evil, sithly colour from behind it's dark, black cloak. She screamed in terror! -------------------------------------------- What is it? What could this terrible thing be? Wait to find out, for the next chapter is coming soon!
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Eon-Wan-Mome_NT Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 5/9 10:04am Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror - Date Edited: 5/9 10:05am (1 edits total) Edited By: Eon-Wan-Mome_NT
	Obi and Padme posted: "RAHRHRHAHRHHHRHARHARH! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Padme awoke with a start. "WHAT THE HELL?????" LOL! I might say something like that if my partner jumped out of bed and screamed "RARHARHAHRAHRAHRHASEROHFASDHVOAWEHFGAOWE!!!!!!" But I might say "What the hell, woman!" (No, that's sexist I wouldn't do that!) Luckily for me, when my wife has a bad dream, she pouts silently in her sleep. Yup! Sound's like Anakin is bad news! Imagine he was going to force Padme to marry him! That....meanie!!!! Great work! -----signature----- "Without Reflection, you will never be able to look into your own eyes" My Fanfic below: Simpsons Star Wars, Episode 1, The Fat Man Menace http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/18582548/?64 ]
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HeKilledYounglings Registered: Jul '06	Date Posted: 5/9 10:58am Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror
	Hey, you have to be patient. Sometimes it takes days to get a response. In fact. I have two other stories here that have not had much response at all, my Obi Wan Kenobi Story. And I think you may have scared some A/P fans when you wrote that Obi Wan and Padme were boyfriend and girlfriend hehe. Now, honestly the funniest part of your story was the introduction just before. I found myself smiling as I read into it. Reminds me of how old stories were told, with this preface amounting to what feels like author's intrusions as they tell us where we enter in the story. I think you should be careful with your ellipses "..." should only be three dots in the middle of a sentence, four if you are ending a sentence. Otherwise, it is interesting. And the dialogue between Mace and Anakin occurs in such a way that Anakin's actions are more calculated and not the result of being conflicted, honoring his duty as a Jedi or saving the woman he loves. Funny the part about the tenacle head, I wish Kit Fitso had a better comeback maybe making fun of Anakin's mechanical arm or perhaps he could have called him 'scarface'. -----signature----- The Tower (Darth Vader) romance http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27096388/p1/ ANAKIN AND PADME'S FIRST TIME http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/26935775/p1 Read the whole story of Vader's New Love via Profile
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NATIONALGREATNESS Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 5/9 12:56pm Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror
	Hey, this is great, thanks for the responses guys! Eon-Wan-Mome_NT posted: LOL! I might say something like that if my partner jumped out of bed and screamed "RARHARHAHRAHRAHRHASEROHFASDHVOAWEHFGAOWE!!!!!!" But I might say "What the hell, woman!" (No, that's sexist I wouldn't do that!) Luckily for me, when my wife has a bad dream, she pouts silently in her sleep. Yes, it was funny, I suppose. I actually didn't write that bit as intentional humour - the next chapter has tons of humour, though. Eon-Wan-Mome_NT posted: Yup! Sound's like Anakin is bad news! Imagine he was going to force Padme to marry him! That....meanie!!!! Yes he is, in my story Anakin is really bad. But don't worry, he does get what's coming to him later on. Eon-Wan-Mome_NT posted: Great work! Thankyou! HeKilledYounglings posted: Hey, you have to be patient. Sometimes it takes days to get a response. In fact. I have two other stories here that have not had much response at all, my Obi Wan Kenobi Story. And I think you may have scared some A/P fans when you wrote that Obi Wan and Padme were boyfriend and girlfriend hehe. Well, I had to wait two months actually. As for Padme and Obi-Wan being a couple - well, that's just the way I've chosen to write it. Surely that doesn't bother you? HeKilledYounglings posted: Now, honestly the funniest part of your story was the introduction just before. I found myself smiling as I read into it. Reminds me of how old stories were told, with this preface amounting to what feels like author's intrusions as they tell us where we enter in the story. You mean my introduction to chapter two, where I said this: I posted: And the Christianity vs Satanism will be only one part of what is to come, but a great part. And yes, Tarkin will feel the power of the Dark Side consume his soul! MUAHAHAHAA! Anyway, here's the next chapter: Or do you mean some bit from Chapter One? HeKilledYounglings posted: I think you should be careful with your ellipses "..." should only be three dots in the middle of a sentence, four if you are ending a sentence. Ok, I'll try that. HeKilledYounglings posted: Otherwise, it is interesting. And the dialogue between Mace and Anakin occurs in such a way that Anakin's actions are more calculated and not the result of being conflicted, honoring his duty as a Jedi or saving the woman he loves. Yes, in my story Anakin is even more selfish than he was in the real films. And he is more leaning towards wanting unlimited power and ruling everyone already and earlier, as you can see from Chapter One. HeKilledYounglings posted: Funny the part about the tenacle head, I wish Kit Fitso had a better comeback maybe making fun of Anakin's mechanical arm or perhaps he could have called him 'scarface'. Yes, well, unfortunately thanks to Sidious he's well and truly fried now. Thanks for responding, it's really great for the two of you to give me some feedback! And you'll be pleased to know, I have just completed Chapter Three! So, here we go! ------------------------------------- Chapter Three: A Sithly Terror - Or just a confused weirdo? In the dark chambers of Anakin's apartment, a tall figure in a black Sith cloak stood before a terrified young woman. She trembled in terror. "Please, whoever you are, don't hurt me! I am just an ordinary person!" The figure let out a slow, deep, sinister chuckle that sent shivers up Racha's spine. It spoke: "Breathing quickens........as does pulse........temperature lowers........and then rises.......mind loses itself.........abject TERROR!! ARHRHRHHRHHH!" It suddenly screamed in a monstrous growl. Racha could barely stop her shaking. Even worse, the figure raised it's hands, both covered in black gloves, and began to advance toward her with fingers outstretched like a terrible monster, while making the most sinister breathing sound. Racha could stand it no longer. With a shriek of terror she leapt backwards off the bed and ran across the room. She turned around when she reached the door. Oddly, the terrifying cloaked figure had stopped and was staring at her, not pursuing. But just the sight of that visage, which was not a face at all - but in fact, a black hole, because the cloak shrouded the face in darkness - the faceless monster in black, staring at her.......would be enough to scare the crap out of anyone. "Wha......wha.......What do you want?" she managed to ask. "Nothing." the figure said. It laughed again, and to her shock, the laugh suddenly changed from an evil, possessed, demonic laugh worthy of a Sith Lord, to the cheeky, silly, immoral, dirty, yobbish - yet familiar - laugh of her boyfriend, Anakin Skywalker. She gasped. "What the hell-" With another typically Anakin like laugh, the figure threw off it's cloak and hood in one swift movement, revealing itself to be, indeed, none other than Anakin Skywalker. He looked at his beautiful girlfriend, and laughed in a vaguely sinister manner again. Her eyes had widened to the point where it looked like she was going to faint from shock. He smiled. "Missed me, darling?" "YOU PIG!" Racha screamed suddenly. She rushed towards him and dealt him a flying kick that sent him sprawling across the room. He found this to be even more amusing, and laughed harder. He laughed even harder when she pinned him to the ground and started hitting him. "OOFOF, FOFOF, OUWCH!" He sniggered. "Stop it, that's enough, come on!" "IT'S NOT A JOKE!" she screamed in anger. "You scared the hell out of me! What the hell did you think you were doing, dressed up like that, talking like that?!? Your voice was all twisted and unnatural, and you laughed in that horrible manner, and you acted crazy! What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you do that?" "It was just a joke!" he protested, still laughing as she continued to slap him. "Ok, come on, stop hitting me!" "Stop laughing then and tell me what you were really doing, because to me, something that scares me nearly to death is not a joke! SEE?" she shouted. "Alright, ok, I'll, haha, I'll tell you, hehe, right." She finally stopped her assault, but still pinned him to the floor, sitting on him, and to make matters worse, she crushed his legs in vice grip with her legs. She leant over him and looked at him with a steely gaze. He chuckled again. "Wow......that is kinda sexy, what you are doing now. Perhaps we can continue with that more-" "NO! I'm doing this to make sure you don't put that cloak on again and start scaring me again, not for one of your perverted sex games!" "DAMN!" he cursed. "I was so looking forward to that! OW!" She slapped him again. "Tell me what you were really doing and why, now!" "Alright, alright, hold your horses!" He was still in a happy mood, but she could tell that there was a malice and a creepy darkness lurking within this happiness, which felt almost sadistic, possibly even masochistic. This frightened her. And correctly so - he had just embraced the dark side and helped the dark lord to kill Kit Fisto! And taken a red lightsaber too. But of course, she didn't know this. "Ok, where to begin. I was.......well, I was.........I was fulfilling a promise to my best buddy, to pull a prank planned for this year's celebration of dark things at this time." "What?" she did not look convinced or amused. "First off, who was this promise to?" "Chancellor Palpatine." he stated frankly, and then gave her his familiar cheeky grin. She rolled her eyes. "Oh, well that explains everything. I can just imagine him putting you up to something like this. From what you've told me, he loves to make jokes and do pretend evil things for fun, and has an obsession with black humour." He chuckled. "Yes indeed, he does." She sighed. "Now, what is this 'year's celebration of dark things at this time'?" "Oh, that's just something Coruscant's upper classes do at this time, every year. It's called "Dark Rites of the Immortal Ones" and basically, children go around dressed up as scary things from across the galaxy - usually some form of monstrous alien, such as a Tusken Raider, or one of those big fish things from Naboo, or something like that - but some go as Sith Lords." "What?" She exclaimed. He laughed again. "No, not real Sith Lords, they dress up as Sith Lords for a joke! It's nothing real, it's all in good fun." She shook her head. "Sounds more like the foulest immorality this side of the galaxy to me." "No, come on!" "Seriously. Who the hell allows their kids to dress up as Sith? I mean, Sith are a real threat to the galaxy, you know! They aren't just a joke to be made fun of in a playful way by children, they are dangerous and evil! You of all people should know that, being a Jedi!" He laughed, this time in a more contemptuous way. "I am hardly a Jedi. I am myself, my own man. I take orders from no one, and I never will. Heck, I should be the one giving orders!" She sighed. "Anakin, please stop being such a jerk." "I am not a jerk!" he said light-heartedly, still grinning. "I'm a great guy, and you know it! If I wasn't you wouldn't be living here with me, would you?" "No." she admitted. "At least I chose too, unlike poor Senator Amidala. She nearly was forced to, from what I've heard." He scoffed. "Rubbish. You're saying she was forced by someone to stay here with me? Where did you hear that?" "No, I heard that you tried to force her to stay here with you and marry you against her will, when she didn't want to!" Racha said heatedly, clearly angry. "Well?" He looked shocked, even scared for a moment, but he quickly regained his control. "Complete and utter rubbish! I would never do that. It would be against the Jedi Code, for one!" "The Jedi Code........which you barely even follow, and you know that." She said sternly. He shrugged. "Either way, where did you hear about that? And who from?" "Where and who?" she said icily. "I heard about it from the Senator herself! She told me!" "Oh, crap." Anakin muttered, looking afraid. "I guess I am in for it now." "What are you talking about?" she asked, and then shook her head. "You're ridiculous, Anakin. I mean, honestly. You think you can keep something that bad secret forever? You did something wrong, admit it!" "Ok, I admit it!" he said, putting on a false air of modesty, calmness, and innocence. "I did something terrible. I was out of control, a reckless youth who should have known better. I was amoral, sexist, stupid, bad, and wrong. And I'm sorry. To both Padme and you. After all, we are together now, and by choice for both of us, as it should have always been for anyone. Am I forgiven now?" She rolled her eyes again, sighed, and then leant down over him and smiled. "Yes, I forgive you. For that at least." But then her expression hardened again. "But that does not excuse what you just did to me! Scaring me like that! All just because the Chancellor is your best friend and he told you to?" "And for fun!" he said, laughing. She shook her head and glared at him. "Am I laughing?" "No, but you will be in a minute." he grinned, and suddenly gripped her waist and called upon his new dark powers, to confuse and stimulate the nerves in her body in myriad ways with the power of the Dark Side, all of which would end in one way......... Abject, uncontrollable laughter! She felt as if someone was tickling her all over, in the most sensitive places possible. She was unable to contain herself and she rolled off him, laughing uproariously until tears stained her cheeks. Grinning, Anakin suddenly got up, grabbed her and lifted her and pushed her back against the wall. "AHAHAHAHAHAH - NO, STOP! WHAT - ARE YOU DOING NOW?" she managed to stop laughing, out of both shock and a little fear. "Just another test." He grinned again, and then let her go. She fell to the ground in a disgruntled heap, but seemed happier. Then his expression became dark again, but in a more attractive way. "Now, prepare for Directive 81!" Then she became mock afraid, giggling nervously while brushing down her hair with her hands, finally getting up. "Oh no, not Directive 81! Please Anakin, that one is too extreme!" She could not help smiling. "But you like it really......" he growled lustfully. "This time, we reverse it." "Then I accept!" she said forcefully, and shoved him backwards. He ran towards the bed. "I am so looking forward to this! Awesome!" he exclaimed, laughing as she pursued him. "This time, you will be the one who feels it worst." she said in a mischievous way. "Oh, that is even better!" he shouted. "MORE PAIN! YEAH! BUT- RAHRHRAHARHRHARROAOOROfoFOaffR!" She shoved him backwards with more strength than he could have been prepared for, and this time he ended up just where he wanted........ His bed. Or their bed. She straddled him and forced him down, making him unable to move, and took out some strange things from a nearby box. Before he could say any more she kissed him with a terrible passion born of a Naboo woman, but not anything like Padme Amidala. And that was only the beginning......... (SEX SCENE CENSORED) -------------------------------------------------------- Very amusing and interesting, no? Keep in mind, Racha is 20, two years younger than Anakin, so it is totally different than the thing with Padme, who in my story is with Obi-Wan as you've already seen in Chapter Two. Next update soon!
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HeKilledYounglings Registered: Jul '06	Date Posted: 5/9 2:34pm Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror
	no prob. im going to go over this with a fine tooth comb tomorrow, tonight im going to be writing a big chapter lol. But I'd really like to give some more insight. I like reading stories. ' [quote]As for Padme and Obi-Wan being a couple - well, that's just the way I've chosen to write it. Surely that doesn't bother you? [/quote] Not at all. As long as its good. -----signature----- The Tower (Darth Vader) romance http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27096388/p1/ ANAKIN AND PADME'S FIRST TIME http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/26935775/p1 Read the whole story of Vader's New Love via Profile
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NATIONALGREATNESS Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 5/9 3:42pm Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror
	HeKilledYounglings posted: no prob. im going to go over this with a fine tooth comb tomorrow, tonight im going to be writing a big chapter lol. But I'd really like to give some more insight. I like reading stories. ' Yes, I would really like some more insight and advice, please! Because I really like getting good responses to my stories, and both you and Eon-Wan-Mome_NT have given excellent responses so far. Can you please give me any more advice? About writing in general, about developing my story, and all of that? As you can see from what you've already read, it's mostly a black comedy horror. It isn't a truly serious story, it has a lot of humour and silliness, but there are some serious moments. And the horror stuff is either funny or serious.......depending on your point of view. HeKilledYounglings posted: Not at all. As long as its good. It will be good, don't worry. What did you think of the humourous and slightly dirty lust/seduction scene between Anakin and his girlfriend in Chapter Three?
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NATIONALGREATNESS Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 5/11 3:30pm Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror
	Ok, Chapter Four is ready. However, there is a slightly perverse element in something that happens in the Chapter, that I'm not sure would be allowed on here. It contains no explicit details and no actual sex or anything, so from that point of view it should be fine. But I'm not sure it would be. I will probably post it anyway, and then if it is unacceptable, that bit can just be edited out by a moderator or something.
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HeKilledYounglings Registered: Jul '06	Date Posted: 5/12 6:33am Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror - Date Edited: 5/12 6:34am (2 edits total) Edited By: HeKilledYounglings
	"Nothing." the figure said. It laughed again, and to her shock, the laugh suddenly changed from an evil, possessed, demonic laugh worthy of a Sith Lord, to the cheeky, silly, immoral, dirty, yobbish - yet familiar - laugh of her boyfriend, Anakin Skywalker. aww he was just teasing her lol. She straddled him and forced him down, making him unable to move, and took out some strange things from a nearby box. -----signature----- The Tower (Darth Vader) romance http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27096388/p1/ ANAKIN AND PADME'S FIRST TIME http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/26935775/p1 Read the whole story of Vader's New Love via Profile
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NATIONALGREATNESS Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 5/12 10:54am Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror
	HeKilledYounglings posted: "Nothing." the figure said. It laughed again, and to her shock, the laugh suddenly changed from an evil, possessed, demonic laugh worthy of a Sith Lord, to the cheeky, silly, immoral, dirty, yobbish - yet familiar - laugh of her boyfriend, Anakin Skywalker. aww he was just teasing her lol. Well, you hope...... he is a bit perverted and disturbed, and embracing the dark side....... HeKilledYounglings posted: "She straddled him and forced him down, making him unable to move, and took out some strange things from a nearby box. What is shocking? Does it sound like some perverted, kinky sex scene? Anyway, here's Chapter Four! ---------------------------------------- Chapter Four: A Sith in one's head........and perhaps, somewhere else, too. Haha! Anakin awoke, feeling contented. The smell of his girlfriend's perfume was still on his body and he could feel her warm body atop his, sleeping peacefully. Or at least, so he thought. "That was wonderful, Racha," he said contentedly. "You did better than ever before, haha. I just wish that you could understand how the Dark Side can help even in these more primal matters." he chuckled, and reached out to stroke her soft hair. What he felt was not soft hair. To his shock, he felt a wrinkled, hairless scalp, like that of a bald old man, with truly disgusting skin. "What the hell-" he began to say, and then, to his horror, he peered under the covers and saw two evil yellow eyes glinting at him. "NOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed. "GET OFF! WHAT THE HELL Is HAPPENING?!?!??! GET OUT!!!!!!" in terror he reached under the covers and grabbed the figure's bony head, and shoved it strongly to the right as hard as he could. It fell out of bed with a thunk, and to his horror it laughed, a deep, grating, evil laugh reminiscent of....... It couldn't be! "OH MY GOD!! NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO! THAT IS SO VILE! YUCK, ARGRHRHAH, ARGARHARRHRH, EGRRGHHHHHH!" he screamed and shouted like a madman, and got out of bed as quickly as he could. Halfway across the room, the very idea of what could have been sunk in and he fell to his knees, overwhelmed with disgust, and threw up all over the floor. The figure continued it's grating laugh, and then got up slowly, still laughing. Anakin wiped the puke from his mouth and got up, turned around, and saw his worst nightmare come true! Abject horror! "NO, THAT CAN'T BE TRUE! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! I WENT TO BED WITH RACHA, NOT YOU!" He screamed madly. "Oh, but search your deepest and most perverse sithly feelings, my young apprentice, and you will see that you know it to be true! MUAHAHAHAHAHAA!" the Sith Lord cackled evily. "NOOOOOOOOO!!! ARRHARHRHH!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Anakin screamed, again and again! MADNESS! ------------------------------------------ "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" With a start, he woke up in his real bed, screaming, and sat up. Racha awoke with a start at the sound and jumped up in terror. "ANAKIN!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??!?!" she shrieked. At the sound of her voice, Anakin stopped screaming and turned to look at her. And he saw his beautiful, lovely, and very feminine girlfriend, staring at him and looking shocked, and not that evil old monster. Relief overwhelmed him. "Oh, it was only a dream!" he exclaimed, and then collapsed back down onto his pillow. "Oh, it is really only you, Racha! Thank Satan....." "WHAT?" she was clearly shocked by his screaming and even more shocked by what he had just said. Still sitting up, she stared at him intently. "Satan? Don't you mean 'Thank God'? Satan is evil, you don't thank him!" "Oh no, I believe in all of that stuff. The dark side is better." She shook her head. "You're a nutter. Anyway, what the hell was all of that screaming about?" "I..........er, I had a bad dream." "To put it mildly," she said, still shaking her head in shock. "I've never heard such a scream of such horror, terror, and......disgust, before, ever, from anyone, at least, never from a dream, not before now. What the hell was it about?" He looked at her, and remembering the perversity of the dream, he started to feel yuck again. Just the idea of that foul old man being.......with him........in that way made his stomach churn. He looked away. "Trust me, you don't want to know." "It was that bad?" "Horrific. Worse than the one I had about your sister getting, uh, personal, with Jar-Jar Binks." "Gross!" she exclaimed in disgust. "I don't think you ever told me about that one. So I assume this was about sex?" "You could say that." "About being in bed with some dirty, hairy old woman, like my cousin's grandmother?" she said, and giggled. He looked at her seriously. "This wasn't funny, it was really, really disgusting! No, far worse than that, it was revolting, indescribable, horrific! In myriad ways!" "Well, who was it then?" He gulped. "The dark one." "Satan?" "No! The dark one who is real, on this planet. The master of evil, who resides in the deepest, darkest layers of our twisted, half insane minds.........the master of madness, who influences other to commit acts of such hatred and sheer malice and brutality..........the master of puppets, who controls both the senate and the separatists at the same time......" "WHAT?" she shrieked, horrified. "Are you saying that someone powerful has been manipulating both us, as the Republic, and the Separatists to fight each other by controlling them both with some.......evil dark power? Like a Sith Lord?" As the implications of what he said himself set in, the memories of earlier that day flooded back to him and he remembered exactly who he had been talking about........ And that was the same dirty, twisted, perverse master of darkness and evil that had been in his dream....... "By the dark ones........" he murmured, astonished at himself. ------------------------------------------------------ Crazy, isn't it? Chapter Five coming soon. Tell me what you all think of this one too!
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HeKilledYounglings Registered: Jul '06	Date Posted: 5/12 9:18pm Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror - Date Edited: 5/12 9:19pm (1 edits total) Edited By: HeKilledYounglings
	HA. Too funny! And Anakin is a monster I tell ya! A monster. He is very very bad, scaring his girlfriend like that. The master of evil, who resides in the deepest, darkest layers of our twisted, half insane minds That my dear, is a very good description of palpatine! -----signature----- The Tower (Darth Vader) romance http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27096388/p1/ ANAKIN AND PADME'S FIRST TIME http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/26935775/p1 Read the whole story of Vader's New Love via Profile
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NATIONALGREATNESS Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 5/13 4:38am Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror
	HeKilledYounglings posted: HA. Too funny! I'm pleased you found it amusing, as that is what it is meant to be. HeKilledYounglings posted: And Anakin is a monster I tell ya! A monster. He is very very bad, scaring his girlfriend like that. Quite true...... Of course, in Chapter Three, that was his fault, but in Chapter Four when he woke up in bed screaming, that was not......that was Palpatine's fault. Lol. HeKilledYounglings posted: The master of evil, who resides in the deepest, darkest layers of our twisted, half insane minds That my dear, is a very good description of palpatine! Thankyou. Of course, that means the "man" who was in his dream........was indeed that monster. Disgusting, eh? Chapter Five to come soon!
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Eon-Wan-Mome_NT Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 5/13 10:29pm Subject: RE: Revenge of the Dark Side - Or Not? (ROTS Alternate History Timeline) - Black Humour/Horror
	Wow! There's nothing like 'the Dark Side of Sex' I guess! (Those S&M themes of Chapter 3) And, what crazy dreams Anakin's dark libido can produce (Chapter 4) Good work -----signature----- "Without Reflection, you will never be able to look into your own eyes" My Fanfic below: Simpsons Star Wars, Episode 1, The Fat Man Menace http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/18582548/?64 ]
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