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Topic:
Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--Nominated for Best Humor
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DarthIshtar
Title: Former CR
Star Wars Trivia Hostess
Registered:
Mar '01
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Date Posted:
3/20 10:57pm
Subject:
Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--Nominated for Best Humor
- Date Edited:
6/10 5:56pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
DarthIshtar
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"I'm not sure what to do," Luke confessed. "He's been like this for two days."
"Two days?" Leia exclaimed. "You didn't think that I'd want to know?"
"You were at that conference," Wedge pointed out. "Besides, Han would have killed us."
"After he bankrupted us with sabacc," Wes added.
"And made us eat his cooking," Hobbie concluded.
Luke shot them an unamused look. "The point is," he interjected, "is I don't think he would want you to see him like this."
Leia frowned in consternation. "I'm his friend," she pointed out, "and there is nothing shameful about being injured in the line of duty."
That statement had an odd effect on the pilots. As one, they glanced away and scuffed their shoes nervously against the floor.
"What?" she snapped.
"It wasn't really in the line of duty," Wedge said sheepishly.
"Not per se," agreed Hobbie.
"More of a figurative..." Wes bluffed.
"He brained himself with a hydrospanner," Luke clarified.
That, for the first time, sounded perfectly in-character. Leia buried her forehead against her hand, eyes squeezed tight.
"You said he was having difficulty with his memory," she groaned. "You don't do that braining yourself with a hydrospanner."
"Well," Luke pointed out, "you do if you'd left it on the top shelf of the tool cabinet."
She pinched the bridge of her nose. "How bad is it?"
"Well," Hobbie muttered, "he thought we were his roommates at the Academy."
"But Too-Onebee says there isn't really any permanent damage," Wes insisted cheerfully. "You remember how thick-headed he is."
"So, why am I here?" Leia demanded, feeling more aggravated than anything.
They exchanged slightly fearful looks and Wedge was the first to speak up.
"Well, we were hoping you might do something to jog his memory," Luke suggested. "Call him a nerf-herder..."
"Insult him..."
"Or maybe just brain him with another hydrospanner."
There was only one thing that she was absolutely certain would make him remember her. It was a ritual that they had undergone on Chandrila and they had both agreed that it was disturbingly unforgettable.
"I've got an idea," she assured them.
Crossing to Han's bed, she turned his face to her and kissed him long and hard, her right hand wrapped around the back of his neck. He squirmed for a moment, then relaxed and pulled back.
"Hey, gorgeous," he muttered with a dopey grin. "I think I remember me."
"Yes?" Leia asked hopefully.
"Yeah," he sighed happily. "Wanna see my hydrospanner?"
Infuriated that he would make a lascivious joke at such a time as this, Leia hauled off and slapped him as hard as she had kissed him. His eyes cleared.
"Hey, Your Worship," he snapped. "What's the big idea? Wasn't it good for you?"
She stalked off, fuming. Han didn't bother to call her back, but as she closed the medcenter door behind her, she heard his first comment to the pilots.
"That's all you could come up with?" Han challenged. "Brained by my own hydrospanner?"
-----signature-----
"I feel like a more down-to-earth Pink 5 when I'm writing Leah. Same attitude, less lip gloss." ~Me on how to get in the right mindset for Twilight fanfic.
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Juliet316
Registered:
Apr '05
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Date Posted:
3/21 12:59am
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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Oh that was hilarious. Good one Ish!
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brodiew
Registered:
Oct '05
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Date Posted:
3/21 8:12am
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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"He brained himself with a hydrospanner," Luke clarified.
That, for the first time, sounded perfectly in-character. Leia buried her forehead against her hand, eyes squeezed tight.
What fun! I love these guys. And Leia was in perfect OT character. I enjoyed the image of her pinching her nose.
"Would you like to see my hydrospanner?"
:-P
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Idrelle_Miocovani
Title: Solar Power loving Scattergories Hostess
Registered:
Feb '05
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Date Posted:
3/21 8:15am
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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"That's all you could come up with?" Han challenged. "Brained by my own hydrospanner?"
Absolutely hilarious, Ish. 
-----signature-----
"Shouldn't we be doing something... constructive?" "What did you have in mind? A short, blunt human pyramid?" NaNoWriMo: http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/462992 This Time Around: http://boards.theforce.net/ASP/user.asp?usr=1162416 Ish's Padawan
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Teresa
Registered:
Mar '07
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Date Posted:
3/21 9:28am
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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Han and the Squadron better watch out...... Leia's revenge will have them begging for missions big time! Ah well, experience is the best teacher after all; and they're big boys who should be able to handle it.  My thanks for writing this, I needed a good laugh!
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ShrunkenJedi
Registered:
Apr '03
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Date Posted:
3/21 9:39am
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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Oh, nicely written! Mischievous men... I don't think they meant for Leia to hear that last bit. 
-----signature-----
More work to be done, but proud to be an American again! Fanficcer and Fanartist-- check the profile! My New Drabbles and Viggies: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28153417/
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alhana_antilles
Registered:
Aug '02
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Date Posted:
3/22 12:20pm
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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That was great!  Nice work.
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Buaidh no bas
Wraith 10 of XWSFC
Member of the Chewbacca Fanclub
"Brothers don't whistle while they work, Jon."- Larry Wilmore, The Daily Show
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owphoenix
Registered:
Sep '03
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Date Posted:
3/22 7:04pm
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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Love it!
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Golden_Jedi
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
3/23 7:48am
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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But I would fear for my physical integrity now if I were Han...
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The country is that place where chickens walk around uncooked - Julio Cortázar Unexpected Blossom http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28693266 Sailing Little Boats http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28747916
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Icecruncher_Amidala
Registered:
Sep '07
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Date Posted:
3/23 2:37pm
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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He brained himself with a hydrospanner!? Oh, this is too good!
-----signature-----
'No one is totally worthless. They can just serve
as a bad example.'---Something often said by my dad.
A cheerful heart is good medicine
Proverbs 17:22
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alderaanprincess
Registered:
Feb '08
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Date Posted:
3/23 3:27pm
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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Oh wow that was hilarious! I loved that last line:
"That's all you could come up with?" Han challenged. "Brained by my own hydrospanner?"
That was perfect! and so Han-like!
-----signature-----
LEiA "Sometimes I amaze even myself!" "I don't know who you are or where you came from but from now on you do as I tell you. Okay?" http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28196366/p1/?5
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dm1
Registered:
Jun '04
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Date Posted:
3/23 8:25pm
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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That was hilarious, they all set Leia up. So what was that ritual on Chandrila?
Love how she kissed him then slapped him.
"Wanna see my hydrospanner?" had me cracking up, the best line in the story! And your title was perfect! I love your writing, DI!
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Internet Mom to HSG!
Hey, HSG, watch those explosives, be careful!!
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SpiritofEowyn
Registered:
Mar '05
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Date Posted:
3/23 11:55pm
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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What some men will do just to get a kiss! Geez. Just goes to prove men Lie their A.. off for physical attention.
Sorry, my bitter is showing.
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Suddenly Single Other Half: Force Twins Index : http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=22314061 "Stop the Skywalker Stupidity Cycle"
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KELIA
Title: Fan Fiction Moderator
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
3/24 3:35am
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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That was classic Han!
They really got Leia good and it leaves me wondering if she will ever forgive Luke.
Great job on this
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DarthIshtar
Title: Former CR
Star Wars Trivia Hostess
Registered:
Mar '01
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Date Posted:
3/25 10:03am
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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Juliet316--LOL, thanks and thanks for the plot bunny. Glad it made you laugh.
brodiew--LOL, I love these guys as well and I'm glad Leia was in-character.  The "Would you like to see my hydrospanner" is another one of my recurring jokes if you know where to look for it--in one fic, Han asks Leia that and she replies "Only if you shove it where the twin suns don't shine."
Idrelle_Miocovani--LOL, glad it was absolutely hilarious. Thanks.
Teresa--LOL, yes, that is very likely. I'd hide under my covers if I were any of them. They should be able to handle it, but you know that Wes is more than likely to make it somehow backfire on her. You're welcome and thanks for liking it!
ShrunkenJedi--LOL, thanks! Yeah, they are mischievous. I got inspiration for the resolution to this from Limelight's "The Not-Quite-Love-Letters" in which the Rogues are going through all sorts of antics to get Han and Leia together and they make perfect sense to the pilots, but not the hapless lovers-to-be. And yeah, they didn't mean Leia to catch on.
alhana_antilles--LOL, thanks!
owphoenix--I'm glad! Thanks.
Golden_Jedi--LOL, meaning that he's likely to get brained with her hydrospanner too, now.
Icecruncher_Amidala--Partially inspired by the scene in ESB where his toolbox brains him right after him asking for the hydrospanner. Thanks!
alderaanprincess--LOL, I'm very glad you loved that last line. It seemed like a lame ending. And yes, it was very Han-like.
dm1--*smirk* The 'ritual' on Chandrila is intentionally left to the imagination. Glad you loved her kissing-and-slapping. :0) The title was fun and I'm thrilled you liked that line.
SpiritofEowyn--Understandably showing, but that's not the moral of the story. [face_hug]
KELIA--LOL, thanks. I'm sure that there were a few pranks like this over the years. Guys on a base with nothing to do but fight a war and pull pranks. Maybe this is a precursor to the medcenter kiss...Thanks!
-----signature-----
"I feel like a more down-to-earth Pink 5 when I'm writing Leah. Same attitude, less lip gloss." ~Me on how to get in the right mindset for Twilight fanfic.
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Iverna
Registered:
Feb '08
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Date Posted:
3/25 1:37pm
Subject:
RE: Beauty and the Brained--Han/Leia humor piece, challenge from Juliet316--to kick off my 7th year
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Haha, brilliant! I can totally see the Rogues conspiring with Han for this one. Made me laugh, especially Han's sudden change from hitting on Leia to giving out to her - as usual. You wrote them all perfectly in-character, and Han's closing comment made me laugh all over again. I really enjoyed this!
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"Agent Winter, you've got ice water running through your veins." - Tycho Celchu *** Han WANTS the Falcon fixed! Right? http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28125675/p1/?5
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